Original subtitles

A-Bomb: Las Vegas, Nevada.

That's right, Sin City.

Say hello to the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.

Yep, Hulkites online,

Team Green is partying on The Strip.

She-Hulk, aka, Jen, got us an exclusive invite

to appear at the grand opening of...

The Colossus!

A-Bomb: That's right! The Colossus.

The resort so big,

they wanted the world's biggest hero to promote it.

The Hulk!

(zooming)

(crowd gasps in awe)

(cameras clicking)

(indistinct chatter)

(overlapping dialogue)

-Kinda scary. -It's the Hulk.

(growls) Stupid monkey suit.

How'd you talk me into this, Jen?

Trust me, Hulk.

You'll love Vegas so much, you'll just... (squeals)

It's your lucky night, ladies.

Squeeze a muscle, win a prize!

Ladies and gentlemen!

The Hotel Colossus is proud to welcome

the Hulk and his Agents of S.M.A.S.H.,

the world's greatest monsters.

-Huh? -(all growl)

Did he just call us "monsters"?

We thought you wanted the world's biggest heroes,

not a freak show!

Did I... Did I just say monsters?

We're not monsters.

We're heroes!

-(echoing) -(crowd gasps)

(Red Hulk laughs)

Love it when she loses it like that.

(machine beeping)

-Red Hulk: You cannot eat more than me. -She-Hulk: Wanna bet, Red?

-Skaar: Skaar love buffet. -Red Hulk: Yeah, I'll bet you. Go on.

Well, I don't usually cross my limit, but why not?

Manager: Just because it's all you can eat doesn't mean you have to eat it all!

Sorry, we're monsters, right?

And monsters are hungry!

(rumbling)

(people screaming)

Hulk: That's no earthquake.

(growls)

Everybody, down!

Who did this?

Terrax: Humans of this primitive world.

Prepare for your destruction!

Hulk: Terrax the tamer, not good.

Ah... Five Hulks against one Terrax? I'll take those odds.

Hulk: It's not him I'm worried about,

it's who comes next.

Galactus.

(theme music)

-(growls) -She-Hulk: Galactus?

The giant purple guy who eats planets?

Should've known me getting a night on the town

would literally mean the end of the world.

-(grunts) -Uh...

What? Hey, what am I supposed to do with this?

Come on.

(groans)

None shall impede my mission!

Terrax: I am herald to the greatest being in the entire universe,

Galactus.

Once I summon him... (groans)

(crashing)

Forget it! No way you're calling helmet head.

(growls) Ugh, stupid monkey suit!

(grunts)

Hulk: A-Bomb, weapons. Jen, you're on civilians.

Skaar, Red, let's smash.

But I wanna fight the ugly boulder dude, too!

The bearded freak has the Power Cosmic.

Better leave it to the big boys, Shulkie.

Hey, Jen, do your job. Don't let Red get to you.

He's not getting to me.

Two things I hate.

Losing and Red trash talking me.

All right, everybody out! Women and kids first.

Hotel managers last.

Hmm.

Skaar, Red, we've gotta keep Terrax away from the crowd!

(groans)

Incoming, stone dome...

(groaning) Oh, I ate too much.

Foolish red brute!

Terrax: You are but a gnat to Terrax the tamer.

(Skaar grunts)

Skaar smash metal beard.

(whirrs, zaps)

-(rumbling) -(groans)

If you monsters are the best Earth can offer,

this world will wither under the majesty of Galactus.

A-Bomb: Peekaboo.

So I'm no air jockey. I do know how to point and shoot.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, no.

(crashing)

This guy doesn't mess around. A-Bomb's away!

(gasps)

(crowd clamoring)

She-Hulk: This balcony's not gonna hold!

(rumbling)

(She-Hulk grunts)

She-Hulk: Don't worry! You couldn't be in better Hulk hands!

Now, buckle up and watch a pro at work.

(grunts)

-Man: Thank you. -You're welcome. She-Hulk. That's my name.

-Good save, Jen. -(scoffs) I guess.

So where's Private Scale-Face and my blasted hand-cannon?

A-Bomb: What's a night in Vegas without some party favors?

Catch.

Skaar ka-boom Beard-Man's head.

Miss me, baby? I missed you.

Oh, great. Where's my boom stick?

Hulks, let's light up the town.

Your pathetic weapons are useless against the Power Cosmic!

(scoffs) Think so?

(loud thud)

I command the very Earth itself.

(grunts)

(zooming)

What's he up to now?

Let's get up there and smash him.

Now, to summon my master, Galactus.

Oh, no, you don't.

(groans)

-(loud bang) -(groaning)

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

-Booyah! -Oh! You should put him on a leash!

That's my girl.

A chip off of the old green granite block.

Does this look crooked?

(thunder rumbling)

Red Hulk: Uh-oh, kids. Here comes the main event.

(tense music)

Behold the devourer of worlds.

Tremble at the might of Galactus.

She-Hulk: No, I stopped him from sending the signal.

Why is Galactus here?

Get ready, team. We just hit threat level cosmic.

I got this.

Jen, no!

(grunts)

(screams)

Your valiance is admirable,

but I have not come to feed, mortals.

What? I don't understand.

Galactus: You have failed me time and again, Terrax.

I sent you here to draw out the one earthling

I deem worthy of being my new herald...

The Hulk.

Huh?

-You came for Greenie? -Whoa!

Flattered you picked me, but I'm not about

to spend my life helping you wipe out planets.

You would refuse Galactus?

Fortunate then, I have found a suitable replacement.

-Galactus: Terrax, I reclaim my power. -(screaming)

(groans)

No!

(She-Hulk groaning)

Jen! Let her go.

Galactus: She-Hulk proved herself by besting Terrax.

Her determination and drive for conquest

are perfect qualities in one who would be my herald.

Behold the Emerald Emissary...

Herald to Galactus.

Jen!

Green, dude, what did he do to her?

No, your She-Hulk is no more.

Emerald Emissary.

Not that I'd work for the cosmic creep,

but I would've made a way better emissary than Shulkie.

Give me sparkly Power Cosmic and a flying red surfboard,

you'll see some fireworks, all right.

(laughing)

Yeah.

Turn her back now, Galactus.

I'm fine, Hulk.

Emerald Emissary: Better, in fact.

I can feel the Power Cosmic coursing through me.

It's incredible.

(car alarms blaring)

Red Hulk: All right, Shulkie, put the cars down.

You ain't no cosmic valet.

-That's it, Red. -Hey.

Enough of the showboating, you glowing green freak-job.

Shulkie!

No one usurps Terrax's power.

(grunts)

(Terrax screaming)

Jen, this kind of juice comes with a heavy price.

Do not listen to the envious, my herald.

Explore your potential.

Embrace the Power Cosmic.

Yes.

(zapping)

Huh?

Well done.

Jen.

With this power, I can do anything.

But you got it to find Galactus planets to eat,

not save lives.

I will save lives.

I'll seek out worlds without intelligent life

for him to consume.

I'm not evil, not like Terrax.

I will be the greatest herald Galactus has ever known.

Hmm...

This is our...

My chance to be more than just some monster.

Hulk: Some monster?

You never were. You know that.

He would delude you, limit your potential.

Admit it. You're afraid of this much power.

You wouldn't know what to do with it.

Jen, I have all the power I need.

You did, too.

To me, my herald. It is time to leave this earth.

I hunger!

I am ready, Galactus.

Jen, no.

Hulk: You have friends here, a family.

Yeah.

I won't let you go. I won't give you up.

A-Bomb: None of us will.

But I... I...

Hulk?

Galactus: Emerald Emissary,

prove you are worthy.

And so I shall.

(yelling)

(A-Bomb and Red Hulk groan)

But, hey, if you really wanna go, don't let us hold you back.

Who else would challenge me?

No, I don't wanna let her go!

But, man... (groans)

... she hits really hard.

What are we supposed to do, Hulk?

I really don't wanna be punching on Jen.

I know, but we've got to change her mind somehow.

-(roars) -(grunts)

(loud thud)

(groans)

(growls)

Hulk, you wouldn't hurt me, would you?

Jen?

Hulk: Don't do this, Jen! (groans)

This power is corrupting you! Remember who you are!

(Hulk groaning)

Galactus: Finish him

and rise to my side.

(growls)

(groans)

And now it ends.

(groaning)

We're cousins, remember?

You got what you wanted. You won.

What about your teammates? Your friends?

(groans)

You'll lose us.

No!

Obey me! Destroy that monster!

He's no monster.

He's my family!

If you won't destroy the Hulk, Galactus will.

(screaming)

(groaning)

Galactus: Know me, mortal!

Know Galactus and know destruction.

Stop. Leave him alone. (grunts)

(groaning)

(crashing)

(car alarms blaring)

Hey, you mind if we crash this party?

Red Hulk: I brought my noise maker.

(Galactus growls)

(explosion)

Come on, move it.

If your world will deny me a herald, then I will consume it!

Galactus: My World Destroyer will shatter your Earth

so that I may devour it and be nourished enough

to span the cosmos and seek out a new herald.

Seek out a new...

Wait a second! I got an idea.

Give me your blaster.

Be right back.

Make it quick. We could use you right about now.

We gotta stop that gizmo.

If it turns on, the world turns off.

Skaar, A-Bomb, bust the machine.

Me and Red will distract Galactus.

Double down and take this guy out.

Terrax.

Emerald Emissary: Terrax?

(echoing) Show yourself!

So the new herald of Galactus

comes to gloat over her victory.

No, I've learned the error of my ways, Terrax.

I've come to offer you a rematch.

And if I agree?

Red Hulk: Over here, antler head!

You dare?

I always do.

(growls)

(Red Hulk screams)

(groans)

Okay, bad idea.

A-Bomb: Let's get smashing, Skaar!

(both roaring)

Skaar like smashing machines.

Fun!

(A-Bomb laughs) I know, right?

There's usually more partying than smashing in Vegas,

but not when we're in town.

(grunting)

(grunting) Bring it down!

(alarms blaring)

(screaming)

(groans) We don't stand a chance, Hulk.

Odds ain't in our favor this time.

If there's one place to beat the odds, it's Vegas.

Yeah, I guess.

(A-Bomb and Skaar screaming)

(groans)

(roars)

(screaming)

Been there, done that.

You believe you can win?

(Hulk groaning)

I always bet on green!

(Hulk roars)

(gasps)

Now, Hulk smash Galactus!

Enough!

(groans)

(yelling)

Huh?

Jen.

Terrax?

Hulk: Let's give her a hand.

(zaps)

I tried to get Terrax to join forces with us, but--

Terrax: You were a fool to think

I would betray he who gave me the stars.

Even before Galactus,

I was a warrior king who bested all who defied me.

You, too, shall fall.

Oh, that hurts!

(grunting)

(Emerald Emissary screaming)

Galactus: You have bested my new herald, Terrax,

showing loyalty, courage,

and the rare result to triumph at any cost.

You are worthy.

(groaning)

(zapping)

You got what you wanted, a loyal herald.

Hulk: Now leave, Galactus.

Yeah. I'm sure it'll be easy for you

to find a new uninhabited world to consume.

Right, Terrax?

I offered Terrax a deal he couldn't refuse.

I throw the fight to make him look good,

He gets his power back, and the Earth wins.

Galactus hungers. To the cosmos, my herald!

Remember, Terry, no more occupied worlds,

or I smack the Power Cosmic right out of you.

(zooming)

A-Bomb: So, is he gonna leave or what?

Red Hulk: What are you asking me for?

Hmm. Farewell, Hulks.

Skaar: Bye-bye, helmet head.

A-Bomb: I will miss you.

I, I won't. I just said it to be polite.

Red Hulk: Yeah, don't let the moon hit you on the butt on the way out.

-You threw the fight, too. -(sighs)

Galactus came all the way to Vegas.

Figured he deserved to see a show.

Besides, winning ain't everything.

You hear that, Hulksters?

Sometimes to win you gotta lose.

Hey, wait a minute! You guys threw the fight?

Why didn't you tell me?

Uh, Skaar knew.

The old bait and switch.

Shulkie, that was...

Eh, not bad.

Not bad? Not bad?

(grunting)

Hey, it's almost morning!

-Who's up for a little breakfast buffet? -Huh?

All you can eat.

What would I have done with the Power Cosmic?

Well, like I said before,

"With my friends,

got all the power I need."

Hulk out.

(closing theme music)