Original subtitles

(heroic music)

(crashing)

(tense music)

Hulk: Time to smash!

(glass shattering)

(roars)

(groans)

Skaar destroy everything best!

(grunts)

(laughs)

(She-Hulk groans)

Fifty tacos says I bring down this whole building

faster than any of you.

(grunts)

Ha! You think you can out smash old red?

Hail to the smashing king!

Maybe, if you can smash stuff with your mouth.

(A-Bomb grunts)

A-Bomb: Whoo-hoo!

(laughs)

And ring-a-ling goes the final bell.

Pay up, smashers. Those 50 tacos are all mine.

A-Bomb's away!

-Good job. -Skaar like.

-Go, Rick! -Nice one, Jones!

Rick's kind of new to the whole Hulk thing.

But he's really taken to smashing.

We taught him well.

-(grunts) -(laughs)

-(groans) -(roars)

Spider-Man: Great.

Hulk and his gamma gang have gone all smash happy.

Little old spidey has to stop 'em.

9:00 am is way too early for mindless destruction.

(screams)

(rumbling)

(grunts) Enough with the smashing, Hulks!

(crowd jeering)

Spider-Man: Now what?

Newsflash, web-head.

We were smashing this old building

to make room for a children's hospital.

Our new charity, smashing for hope.

We're gonna show how the Hulks can bust up stuff for a good cause.

Oh. Well, I can bust up stuff, too.

Check this out.

-(clanging) -Ow, ow, ow.

If you want to smash, you got to learn from the pros.

As a guest smasher on my web show!

(chuckles) No thanks.

I'm a camera-shy kind of guy.

And I know smashing plus spiders equals bad.

-(vibrating) -Whoa.

Spidey sense's going crazy.

(foreboding music)

(crowd screaming)

Spider-Man: Oh, no. That thing looks familiar.

(whirring)

Look out!

Hulk: Skaar!

(Skaar groaning) Cold!

Slimy!

(Skaar groaning)

Hulks, I hate to tell you this, but this is bad.

Skaar just got venomized.

(roars)

(growls)

(theme music)

Skaar: Venom Skaar lives!

(roars)

She-Hulk: Whoa!

So, what exactly is a venom, anyway?

Definitely some kind of blobby alien.

Probably hitched a ride on a meteor.

If only.

Picture a blob of murderous goo that can possess anyone it touches.

No fun.

How do you know so much about this thing?

Heh. Funny story.

Or long awful story.

It was kind of created from my blood.

(roars)

(people gasping)

Hulk: So what's it want with us?

I think I know where to find the answer. (grunts)

(growls)

(roars)

Hold on, Skaar.

(grunts)

So, how do we get him out?

We smash him out. Duh.

Hold up! Don't hurt skaar!

(grunts)

Red Hulk: Ah, what do you want us to do? Say nurturing things to it?

(snarls)

Spider-Man: Great.

Stupid robots.

There you are, you goo spewing monster.

(electricity crackles)

(motors whining)

Hmm. Who builds tentacled robots?

Who could it be?

Doctor Octopus: Greetings, Spider-Man.

Skip it, doc!

What are you thinking venomizing the Hulk?

This is crazy. Even for you.

Doctor Octopus: The Hulks document their stories on camera,

so why not me?

And creating a venomized Hulk to eat you

is quite an exciting twist.

It's predicable, Ock.

I'm giving your movie two flips down.

(strains)

(shattering)

She-Hulk: We're gonna need some fire power.

Coming at you, red!

(Red Hulk laughs)

Fall, you mud face pile of ooze!

(grunts)

Head's up, Hulks. Weapons coming in hot.

Power levels set to stun.

(snarls)

Jen, look out!

She-Hulk: No. No!

Once that tar grabs you,

it's got your body and your mind!

Guys, could use a Hulk hand.

(groaning)

(both grunting)

(growling)

(groaning)

Hulk: Jen, no!

A-Bomb, blast it back!

Where's Skaar?

(groans)

(growls)

(roars)

Uh, why is she...

It growing?

And turning green? I don't know.

This is definitely not your daddy's venom.

It's draining our gamma energy.

We got to punch that thing off of Jen before it sucks her dry, too.

Spider-Man: Guys, I know smashing is your thing and all,

but if you touch it,

venom will spread on you like germs from a times square porta potty.

We've beaten up planets, spidey. This is what we do!

-(snarls) -(all gasp)

Batter up, Hulk.

(grunting)

These will slow her down, but they won't hurt her.

(grunts)

I hope you're right.

(roars)

Hate to say it. No, actually I like saying it.

I told you so.

(groaning)

(screams)

Don't worry, I'll thunk that gunk straight off you, Jen.

(grunts)

(A-Bomb groaning)

(groans)

(roars)

Get me out of here!

Rick's armor is too tough. Venom can't take him over.

Cover me, I'll yank him free.

And how about a hand from your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man?

(strains)

Let me make it simple. Don't touch the goo!

No blob of snot is gonna take old red down.

I'm the strongest Hulk there is!

(groaning)

(laughs)

Red. (groans)

(grunts)

(glass smashing)

He's got the power of four Hulks.

Okay, web-head, you said smashing won't do it.

So, how do we beat your blood brother?

What we need is...

(all grunt)

-(clanking) -(groaning)

Let him go!

You are all mine!

(groaning)

She-Hulk: Hulk, no!

(groans)

I was just about to break out.

Glory-hogging greenie.

Venom Hulk smash!

Hulk smash world!

(all shouting)

-(snarls) -(yells)

If he can't get out...

That must've been Doc Ock's plan along.

He created a venom to suck up all your Hulking power.

(Doctor Octopus chuckles)

Doctor Octopus: Right you are, freaks of nature.

The monster devastating your city is my latest creation.

Gamma venom, let's give it a mission, shall we?

Venom, devour Spider-Man.

Um, devour? Couldn't you just trash talk me on the internet?

(snarling) Devour Spider-Man!

-(screaming) -(groaning)

Spider-Man: No tongue. No tongue!

There is so much wrong with this.

(screaming, grunting)

Skaar, if you're feeling better, nail him!

Skaar ka-boomerang Hulk blob!

-(snarls) -(Spider-Man muttering)

-(sighs) -Bug-man, welcome.

(roars)

(firing)

(growling)

Forget me! (grunts)

Get spidey to safety!

A-Bomb: Come on, man.

Time to take the a-train express out of here.

Spider-Man: We got to get Hulk out of there.

Venom won't let go till there's nothing left.

(growls)

(roars)

Sorry, Hulk. This is all my fault.

Wait, hold up!

(snarls)

He'll be here any second.

How are we gonna smash greenie out?

Well, for starters, smashing isn't an option.

One sure way to stop old shark mouth, electricity.

(crackling)

Just follow your little red and blue buddy's lead.

And stay out of you-know-who's way.

I'll get this party started.

(grunts)

(heroic music)

Red Hulk: Got it!

(all groaning)

When I give the word, light them up.

Spider-Man: Boy, he's big. Let's hope it's enough.

Don't worry, spidey.

We lost some gamma power, but we got this.

(both straining)

Just don't deep fry my internal organs, okay?

-(snarls) -Now!

(both straining)

Spider-Man: I said now!

(groans)

(electricity crackles)

(grunts)

(shrieks)

(roars)

Skaar really hate mean blob.

(snarls)

Okay, we need a new plan!

If we could just slow it down.

That's it.

In the movies, they always freeze the hideous man-eating slime.

Wait a second.

You're actually thinking without using your fists?

Yeah, well,

today hasn't been the best for knuckle sandwiches.

All right, the cold thing is worth a shot.

Who can buy me some time?

Red, jump jet now.

Interesting.

The gamma-enhanced venom Hulk can resist electricity.

Doctor Octopus: Unlike the original venom.

Very promising.

We will eat you!

(jet engines roaring)

I'll power wash that big booger right off of green jeans.

Careful with those missiles. It's my cousin in there.

Red Hulk: Don't worry, Shulkie. Just gonna take a little off the top.

(firing)

(growls)

Red Hulk: Uh-oh.

You vaporized him?

Impossible.

It was only like half a mega-ton.

(roars)

(alarm wailing)

man over PA: Warning, hull breach imminent.

(glass shattering)

Red Hulk: Well, at least we're getting our strength back.

-She-Hulk: Sort of. -(horn honks)

(tires squealing)

Spider-Man!

Spidey, what if this stuff ices Hulk, too?

25,000 gallons of liquid nitrogen probably can't freeze him solid.

-Probably? -It'll be fine, trust me.

I'm a science nerd.

-I'm usually right. -Usually?

Will you just drive?

A-Bomb: Spidey, now!

(grunts)

Spider-Man: This thing's not opening!

(snarling)

Spider-Man: Oh, no.

(snarling)

(grunting)

(grunts) Whoa!

I don't want to be a spidey-sicle!

-A-Bomb: Got you! -(snarling)

Skaar slash!

(both screaming)

Red Hulk: Can't believe they actually did it.

(smashing)

(quivering) Freezer burn.

(cracking)

(straining)

Hulk!

It... It should've worked!

Well, it didn't, web-head. We've got to get him out of there.

Spidey, web me!

A-Bomb: Let's heave-ho, crew.

(all straining)

(groaning)

(suspenseful music)

Hulk, thought we'd lost you.

-Why did it let you go? -Let him go?

I pulled him out of there!

Venom ain't down yet.

(gurgles)

-(groans) -Shulkie! No!

No! (yelling)

Spider-Man: Got their strength back just in time to be turned into dessert.

You will join us!

We are gamma venom!

Move it, spidey!

Whoa. You don't have to tell me twice.

Doctor Octopus: My gamma venom is a success so far.

But it has yet to finish evolving.

In the meantime,

chew up the wall crawler and re-absorb the Hulk.

Venom will devour you!

Spider-Man: You'll never win friends with that attitude.

Hulk: Less talk, more smash!

(growls)

Spider-Man: How many times do I have to say it?

No habla el smasho.

Ixnay on the ashingsmay.

Nein on the smashing.

Hey, I do more than smash.

It's just my go to, you know?

(snarls)

(both grunt)

(all straining)

Let them go!

(shrieking)

I don't know what you're doing, but do it some more.

Cover your ears.

(grunts)

(growling)

That's it.

Sound destabilizes its structure at a molecular level.

Yeah, Hulk! Get your clap on.

(growls)

(groaning)

Hey, whiz kid, grab my blaster.

See if you can change the sonic resonators.

I'm no tony stark, but I've got some skills.

(strains)

Spider-Man: Let's see. Change the polarity here,

jack up the frequency to hit the high notes, coupled with...

Web-head!

Set phasers to sonic butt-kickery.

(sonic boom blasts)

(shrieks)

(groans)

Uh-oh. That's not good.

Spider-Man: What? The bubbling thing?

Yeah, what's the deal with that?

Doctor Octopus: At last, venom has absorbed enough gamma

to achieve critical mass.

It's only a matter of time now.

(snarls)

That thing will take out the Hulks when it explodes.

Ock isn't just after me.

Spider-Man: He wants to venomize the whole city!

(roars)

(sighs) My hero.

Now you get to be mine, web-head.

I need you to lure it out of the city.

Use the Lincoln tunnel.

Wait, isn't the bridge faster? And where are you going?

How do I keep ending up as bait?

Spider-Man!

Must devour!

Spider-Man: Out of the way! Move it, people!

Eighty-foot venom blob bomb on the loose!

(people screaming)

(suspenseful music)

(snarls)

Come on, big green, where are you?

(grunts)

(roaring)

Spider-Man: Look who's about to pop.

At least you can't goo up the big apple down here.

Just...

-me. -(roars)

(bell tolls)

Doctor Octopus: My cameras! Where's my venom?

I didn't see Spider-Man destroyed.

Hulk: Hey, slime snake!

Listen up.

(bell tolling)

(shrieks)

-(bell tolling) -(groans)

(She-Hulk groans)

What happened?

Stop him, spidey!

How do you like being chased for a change, huh, goop face?

(snarls)

(bell clangs)

(roaring)

Everyone, together now!

(loud tolling)

(roaring)

(burbling)

Well, look what the venom coughed up.

Sorry, Hulk, I can't actually hear a word you're saying.

What did you say?

Skaar ears not work.

It's only temporary.

You guys got the worst of it being inside venom.

At least I don't have to hear spidey yapping away!

-Hey! -Ha! Yeah.

But we should've listened to you about not smashing that creep.

Ow!

But venom is my headache.

And I did ruin your smashing for hope thing.

(crowd cheers)

woman: All right, Spider-Man! man: Go, spidey!

There's always hope.

So, who do these belong to anyway?

That would be one Doc Ock.

Let me call up my man, Nick Fury, and get a trance on him.

Because I can do cool things like that.

(Doctor Octopus groans)

Doctor Octopus: I should have an army of gamma-powered venoms by now.

Spider-Man should have been eaten alive or...

-(clanking) -(gasping)

Okay, here's one problem that can be solved by smashing.

(laughs)

-A-Bomb: You're gonna get punched alive. -Uh-oh.

You know, I like solutions that don't always involve smashing.

Well, technically we smashed a bell.

So there's that.

Uh, all right, look.

Point is, we don't have to smash everything.

And we owe a kid in red and blue tights for reminding us.

Thanks, spidey. And don't forget, we owe Doc Ock a no prize

for the extra camera footage we appropriated.

So that's it. A-Bomb out.

It's Hulk out.

I thought you liked to try different things.

Like, "Smash you later, peeps."

A-Bomb: Or... Or, "See you next smashing!"

Oh, you got to be kidding me.

(closing theme music)