Original subtitles

As you Hulkies probably know, it's snowing outside.

We got a winter wonderland

in Vista Verde, Japan, London, everywhere in fact.

Did I mention it's July?

Yeah, this is probably not a good thing.

-(thuds) -(all gasp)

-Whoa. -Shulkie!

We're hitting serious wind shear.

I'll try to get us above the clouds. (grunts)

(engine roars)

Try harder.

A-Bomb, tell Red to shut it.

(sighs) Red, Hulk says that you should shut it.

Yeah?

Well, A-Bomb, you can tell green beans to make me.

(groans)

So Red and Hulk are ticked at each other.

I don't know why, but I'm sure Red started it.

He usually does.

-(grunts) -(alarm wailing)

Losing altitude.

Too much snow and ice built up on the wings.

Hulk: Jen, we have incoming!

A-Bomb: It's a giant hailstorm.

Taking evasive action.

-(loud thud) -She-Hulk: We're hit!

Am I crazy, or does that ice cube have a guy in it?

Hulk: That's no guy.

That's the Prince of Asgard, Thor!

(theme music)

Hulk: He's been frozen solid.

Gotta do something. Jen?

I'll get as close as I can.

She-Hulk: But what are we gonna do then?

We're gonna do this!

(grunting)

Thor, wake up!

Thor!

Thor!

-Thor! -(gasps)

Hulk? Where am I?

Hulk: Never mind.

Just make with your hammer-spin-fly-away thing.

Thor: Hang on.

(tense music)

(whooshes)

(chuckles) Together on another adventure.

Narrowly avoiding doom as always.

-Reminds me of that time you and I-- -Yeah, yeah.

How did you end up in a block of ice?

I was pursuing Frost Giants through a portal when I was frozen.

If I landed here, it means their portal leads to Earth.

And the Frost Giants are coming.

Red Hulk: You crashed us into the middle of downtown winter, Shulkie.

She-Hulk: I hate the cold too.

(glass shatters)

You know, I live in warm places to get away from this stuff.

The other Avengers are dealing with this mess elsewhere.

So what do your ice cube pals want?

To take over the Nine Realms, beginning with Earth,

but we will face the Sons of Jotunheim with fury.

But beware of the horror the Frost Giants bring.

Their footprints are canyons,

their fists are mountains,

and their icy gaze alone will freeze a man's soul!

Yeah, that's Thor, always laying on the big talk.

Where he sees foes from legends,

I see walking icebergs that need smashing.

All that manliness.

I don't know if I'm supposed to swoon or barf.

You have to be a little impressed.

This guy is the Prince of Asgard.

Goldilocks.

Thinks he's so tough, tossing around his hunk of metal.

You jest, but they threaten to freeze

every ocean, land, and living thing on this planet.

Now, let us take the fight to them.

(crackling, rumbling)

(A-Bomb cheers)

Rick, how'd you talk me into using these things?

Rocket boards are the right tool for the job, big guy.

Not to mention they are rocket boards!

She-Hulk: I just wanna know where the heater is on this thing.

Huh?

What?

It's cold.

I'm a California girl, born and raised.

I don't do cold.

I admire your warrior spirit and your manly hair.

What is your name?

I am Skaar.

Ah, a warrior's name if ever I heard one.

I like it.

A-Bomb, tell Hulk to get his ugly green butt out of my way.

(groans)

Hulk, Red says to tell you

to get your ugly green butt out of his way.

Really we're doing this?

You tell Red that I'm trying to stay as far away from him as I can.

They always like this?

Mmm. Not this bad.

Ah. Family issues.

I understand those well.

I do not know why you squabble,

but put your differences aside for the good of all.

Hulk: Tell that to sourpuss.

Red Hulk: I heard that.

(explosion)

(tense music)

A-Bomb: Talk about your climate change.

(loud thud)

The Frost Giants bring a cold this world has never known.

They will pave the way for their invasion on an ocean of ice.

Thor: There! Our enemy awaits us.

(wind howling)

Laufey, King of the Frost Giants.

Fools.

-(grunts) -(all scream)

(ominous music)

Aww, my board.

Let's go crush some ice.

(wind howling)

Laufey: Follow if you dare.

A-Bomb: Aw, where'd he go?

Thor: Beware, the frost kind are a treacherous lot.

They're trying to lure us in.

It's a good plan.

-(rumbling) -Wait!

(grunts)

Um, Hulk, maybe we should move.

(all scream)

(groans)

Hm?

(grunts, groans)

Douse the light, you one-eyed coffee pot.

(groans)

A-Bomb, tell Hulk this is all his fault.

You warned him the ice was falling.

A-Bomb, tell Red if he doesn't like it,

he can heat up faster and melt his crybaby self out of there.

Red, Hulk said--

Ugh. Stop.

It's cold enough in here already

without you two giving each other the cold shoulder.

Oh, cold shoulder? Really? That's...

You're bundled up from head to toe.

Red Hulk: How can you possibly still whine about the cold?

(sighs)

I'm indestructible, but somehow I still get chapped lips.

(penguins chittering)

Well, I'm guessing the Frost Giants brought us inside their ice mountain.

(rumbling)

Mmm?

Laufey: You guess correctly.

Laufey, what do you want from us?

Tell me, Thunder God,

when I have frozen your beloved earth,

will you accept that you are to blame?

(whirring)

Uh, Thor?

What the heck's he talking about?

Laufey: The icy revenge I planned for his home of Asgard,

even now, I unleash upon your once warm green realm,

you mortal monster.

Thor: Earth is innocent.

Your quarrel is with me.

Wait a minute.

He attacked Earth 'cause of a grudge between you two?

Yeah, whatever happened to "put your differences aside"?

I can't help it if he's evil.

Evil or not, your fates are sealed.

As is the fate of humankind.

I could never understand what you saw in mortals.

They're so weak, so easily frozen.

Even your monstrous Hulks walked right into my trap.

They're no better than ogres.

Well, you were trying to trick us.

We were just trying to make you feel smart.

Right, Jen?

(scoffs)

Sooner we get this over with, sooner I get my jacket back.

(grunts)

-(yells) -(loud crashing)

Hm?

You're going down, snowman!

Thor: Mortals or monsters,

these are the strongest beings on Earth.

(Laufey grumbles) This is not over.

She-Hulk: He's getting away.

Skaar slash Icicle Man.

Great. My jacket is soaked.

Someone tall and frosty is toast.

(tense music)

(all grunt)

(rumbling)

Thor: What witchery is this?

An ice serpent!

(roars)

(whirs)

(serpent growls)

(Thor grunts)

(yelling)

Thor: Hey, my barbarian friend,

only I am worthy to wield Mjölnir.

Incoming!

A-Bomb, tell jade jaws that I don't need him trying to help me.

Hulk, Red says...

A-Bomb, I'm busy.

I don't care what Red says right now.

(growling)

-(thud) -(grunts)

At least all this exercise is keeping me warm.

Hulks, be wary, we enter Laufey's lair.

A-Bomb: Whoa!

It's the most awesome snow cone machine ever!

There's big, ugly cold man.

That geyser is the source of the cold.

Find something to plug it.

My frost creatures, attack!

(hissing)

-(grunts) -(shatters)

(zaps, whirs)

Red, how about closing the barn doors on these creeps?

With pleasure, Shulkie. Fire in the hole!

(explosion, crashes)

(growls, grunts)

(grunts, yells)

(shrieks)

Aww. Where you running?

Home to momma? Gonna hide in your fridge?

Actually, your mom probably is a fridge.

Hulk: Watch out!

Thanks, big guy. I owe you one.

Okay, then, tell Red he needs a better deodorant.

I can smell him from here.

Hey!

A-Bomb, tell Hulk that he better watch it

or I'm gonna smack the green out of him!

Oh, come on. How long do you expect me to do this?

Can't you just rage text each other or something?

Yo, Hulk, Red says...

Hmm?

Hmm.

He's super sorry. He wants to be friends.

Hulk says he feels terrible about the way he's been acting.

He wants to apologize to you.

Both: What? Mind your own business!

Um...

(growls)

(rumbling)

(wind bellows)

Something is amiss.

You and your monsters think you've won, Thor,

but you've already lost.

With my defeat, you have awoken he who slumbers.

What kind of ice volcano is this?

Thor: This is no mere volcano.

(all scream)

Yeah, putting my jacket back on.

(creature growls)

The Asgardian keeper of winter.

Centuries ago, my father, Odin, trapped and banished him.

Thor: His mouth is a portal to Jotunheim, realm of the Frost Giants.

And through it, Ymir will bring to Earth an endless age of ice.

(roaring)

(roaring continues)

(growls)

(Ymir roars)

So that's Ymir.

(roars)

Somehow Laufey is controlling him.

I freed Ymir from your father's imprisonment.

In exchange, he will turn Earth into a frozen waste.

And crush anyone who stands in the way.

(roars)

Laufey: Destroy them!

(all grunt)

(roars)

So do we have a plan to fight a thousand-foot snowman?

We only have the one plan.

Smash!

(grunts)

Red Hulk: Let's bust some ice!

(snarls)

I will bring down thunder and lightning

to send you back into the ground where you belong!

(crackles)

(Thor grunts)

(growls) Skaar help Hammer Man.

(roars)

(grunts)

(grunts, yells)

(yells)

(grunts)

(roars)

Thor: Skaar!

(A-Bomb grunts)

(roars)

Our brave friend is alive.

Frozen from the inside out, but alive.

Be careful, if you're frozen and get shattered,

then you're done.

-Green said that if we're shattered we-- -I heard him.

Laufey: Now, crush them.

(roars)

(strains)

(roars)

(grunts)

Our only chance is to breach Ymir's shell.

It seems nigh-invulnerable, but there must be a soft spot.

The soft spot is the brains of the operation.

We'll keep the big guy occupied.

Go hammer the Ice Cream Man.

Thor: Laufey, face me!

Asgard will pay for what you've done to the Frost Giants.

(both grunting)

Fool! You will not deny us our vengeance!

(grunts)

Revenge is only an excuse.

Your goal is to conquer the Nine Realms.

Laufey: And conquer I will.

With every passing moment, this world grows colder,

and my power grows with it!

(grunts)

(screams)

She-Hulk: Thor!

(grunts)

(tense music)

(grunts)

Hulk: Skaar's sword.

A-Bomb, smash ball special.

On my way.

A-Bomb: A-Bomb's away!

Ga-zing!

Focus your attacks there. Let's hope Skaar found our soft spot.

(roars)

Your turn, Shulkie! We'll cover you.

(yelps)

Stupid ice maker, in case you haven't heard,

I hate the cold!

(Ymir roars)

Red Hulk: A-Bomb,

you tell that green klutz to stay out of my way.

A-Bomb, tell that red dunce to get out of my way.

(both grunt)

-(overlapping dialogue) -One at a time, I can't understand!

-(roars) -A-Bomb, look out!

(She-Hulk yells)

(both grunt)

Jones, I said tell Hulk that...

Rick? Jen?

(roars)

This is all your fault!

Me?

It's all your fault!

Whose fault is it really?

(sighs) We're both to blame.

And unless you and me get over this grudge,

we're gonna have front row seats to the end of the world.

So that's your apology?

(scoffs)

Red Hulk: You really steam me. I'm getting A-Bomb's flamethrower.

What's this?

Thor: Your crimson brother's fury can indeed melt ice.

Yeah, the angrier Red gets, the hotter he...

-Hey, Red! -(grunts)

What was that for? Ow!

That's the rest of my apology.

Have you lost your gamma-irradiated mind?

And I'd like to apologize as well.

(grunts)

Red Hulk: What is the matter with you creeps?

I'm on your side, you filthy...

(grunting)

Red Hulk: You!

(growling)

(roars)

I think perhaps he is hot enough.

Hot enough for what?

Hulk: I'll explain later.

After you cool off.

I hate you!

(Red Hulk grunts)

Thor: His armor has broken!

It cannot be.

Mortals often find a way.

(grunts)

(Laufey screams)

Thor: You have no place here on Earth, Ymir.

This ends now!

(zaps)

(roars)

(rumbling)

(growls)

(whirs)

(Laufey grunts, screams)

The portal leads to the Frost Giant's home of Jotunheim.

We can take the fight to them.

They've had enough.

Let it go.

A-Bomb: Now, this is the kind of global warming I like to see.

Tokyo is toasty, London is drying out,

and even Vista Verde is heating up.

My online feed says the sun is shining all over the world!

We did it, guys!

Thor: Indeed, and I too am deeply in your debt.

Hulk: Don't mention it, buddy.

We're the Hulks, it's what we do.

Skaar like fighting with Hammer Man.

Thor: The feeling is mutual, friend Skaar.

Heimdall, open the bridge.

Oh, hey, Thor. Almost forgot something.

Yes, what is it?

Apology accept!

(Thor laughs) Well played, Red Giant!

(growls)

What? I owed him that.

He started it, I finished it. No grudge.

We could've asked Thor for a lift home.

(sighs) No big deal.

This thing will float back to civilization at some point.

In the meantime, the weather's warm.

Just the way I like it.

(sighs)

We good now?

Long as you quit waking me.

Wait, wait, wait. This whole grudge...

This whole thing between you was over sleep?

Red Hulk: Yeah, this big green knucklehead stomps around all night,

keeping me awake.

I'm on military time.

I rise and shine at the crack of dawn.

(trumpet plays)

-One-hey! Two-hey! Three-hey! -Hulk: Oh! Sic him, Devil!

(Devil roars)

Hey...

No, no, no. Whoa, Devil, no, no!

Hulk: Yeah, I know, you wake me up early every morning.

I stay up late 'cause you used to chase me around all day.

(growls)

You know what, forget it.

What's done is done. I'm letting it go.

So that's your apology.

Grudges only make things worse.

Reminds me of the old saying...

-Red Hulk: Think fast! -(grunts)

I'm gonna smash the stuffing out of that big, red turkey!

(roars)

(closing theme music)