Original subtitles

(heroic music)

(owl hooting)

A-Bomb: This is it, A-Bomb.

Do or die.

Forget it, Ricky.

Choke.

You got no chance, Jones.

A-Bomb: Fore.

Oh, yeah!

Come on.

Get in.

(chuckles)

(rumbling)

A-Bomb: Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Oh, yeah! Who is the man now?

-(yells) -All right, quit it.

(laughing)

A pinch to grow an inch.

-And one to grow on! -(chuckles)

Even guys like us need to have fun,

so we dressed down and rented a miniature golf course

for A-Bomb's birthday.

And, yeah, we lost the deposit.

Mini-golf ain't no man's game.

Bah. Bring on the birthday cake!

(blows horn)

Wassup, online Hulketeers?

Here's a big A-Bomb thank you

for all your awesome birthday wishes!

Best birthday ever.

Birthday. Strange.

Didn't you ever have a birthday cake? Party?

Skaar don't know when Skaar was born.

Can't remember family.

Never had birthday.

"Birthday"? Come on.

Who doesn't have a birthday?

You know, a bigger question is,

why are we still keeping Skaar around?

Hulk and I both know he's a traitor!

He's taking orders from our enemy, The Leader.

A-Bomb: And now for my next hole in one.

(crackling)

(buzzing)

Cool! A birthday light show!

Hey, where's the music?

(growls)

Red Hulk: Whoa, hey!

Is my club getting bigger?

-Hey, these things are growing. -(pants)

-(Red Hulk grunts) -No, we're shrinking!

(panting)

And it's not stopping.

(theme music)

Red Hulk: One side, you overgrown toothpick.

Oh, criminy.

Move!

(all grunt)

-Run for it. -A-Bomb: That was close.

-(She-Hulk shrieks) -Huh?

(grunting)

(groaning)

Whoa!

(roars)

-(window smashes) -(cat yowls)

Thanks.

Hulk: Take cover before that shrink ray comes back around.

(all panting)

Hulk: Behind here.

How'd you know the beam wouldn't shrink the robot?

Pretty sure it's been programmed for us.

-The Leader: A grand deduction... -(grunts)

For a microbe.

The Leader.

Greetings, Hulks.

Hey, Hulkies.

If you haven't been streaming my show,

Dr. Uber-brow here is a dysfunctional member

of our gamma family, out to destroy Hulk

and take over the world. Yikes.

I heard you'd be golfing tonight,

so I added a hazard of my own.

The Leader: I've prepared this pre-recorded message

in case you don't survive to see me in person.

But ponder this problem.

Premise, how does one humiliate giants?

Oh.

Conclusion, by turning them into ants.

And stepping on them, right? Hi-larious.

You muscle-bound monsters have always made me feel small.

Now that our roles are reversed,

you will be easy to crush.

You ain't succeeded yet, brain-drain.

Be seeing you... shortly.

(grunts)

-Hulk: Take cover! -(all grunt)

Got to wreck that tower.

Skaar, drive off any critters that could be trouble.

(grunts)

Nobody else knew we'd be here tonight.

And because Skaar has a connection to The Leader, you think...

Might have tipped him off.

Hulk, we both know Skaar's only stringing us along

until The Leader finishes us.

I say we open a can of smash on his shaggy head right now!

Yeah, Skaar works for The Leader.

But now he's shrunk, along with us.

Why? Don't know.

But until I know,

I don't want Rick jumping the gun.

No one attacks Skaar unless I'm sure he's a threat.

Understand?

Get them. Sharing secrets.

Hey, what are you whispering about?

Both: Nothing.

Me, I don't like keeping secrets.

But that's just between us. Got it?

Critters all gone.

Then let's move.

I know every inch of this course by heart.

A-Bomb: There's an open path to the power across this green.

-Hulk: Go. -(creaking)

Whoa. Incoming!

Take cover!

-This way. -(screams)

I'll smash that big chicken nugget.

Don't you dare. They're endangered.

(owl screeches)

(both scream)

At the moment, so are we.

(screeches)

Whoa.

(grunts)

Skaar!

-Hulk, wait! -I know, it's endangered.

-(grunts) -(struggled grunt)

Let him go, beakey. (grunting)

(screams)

Catch him.

(screams)

He can survive a fall like that.

Probably.

She-Hulk: Get your lazy blue rear in gear. He's one of us.

I wish I could be sure of that.

(grunts)

(grunting)

You okay?

Thanks to Hulk.

Guys, here comes the beam again.

(zapping)

Skaar almost sounded grateful.

Hulk: Don't know what The Leader has on him,

but there's a hero under that shaggy mop.

-(Skaar growls) -Hulk: All right, let's go.

Red Hulk: I've been timing the firing sequence.

We can rush the tower.

Wait, we still don't know if destroying it

will restore our height.

And when The Leader is involved,

you can count on nasty surprises.

Everyone, stay together. Take it slow, and--

Attack!

(yells)

I told you I could beat it. (grunts)

I'll pop this sucker open.

I hate it when Green's right.

(screams)

Red!

A-Bomb: Red's gone.

And we're next. Scatter.

(groans)

Skaar, look out!

(gasps)

The beam's deliberately missed him.

Yeah, but they'll make short work of us.

Really? You're going with that?

What? "Short work."

That's... that's funny!

So how did Skaar get so lucky?

A bunch of us would like to know that,

and I'd like to tell you.

Ahem.

(nervously) But how would I know?

A-Bomb: We should be safe down this hole.

She-Hulk: This is safe?

I goofed. This is the 18th hole.

The balls roll down here into the collecting pit.

Oh, great.

(grunting)

Hulk: Grab it!

-A-Bomb: Phew. -(rumbling)

Uh, what's that rumbling?

Brace yourselves.

(all grunting)

Grab the others.

(Hulk groaning)

Phew.

Ow. (growls)

The Leader is gonna pay for what he did to Red.

I'm sure gonna miss that big loud-mouthed goon.

I can't believe he's gone.

(in small voice) Red Hulk: I'm right here, ya blubbering ape.

Did you hear something?

Mmm... No.

It... it sounds like...

-(rumbling) -...trouble!

(screeching)

Big trouble.

-(growling) -(screeching)

Looks like you missed one of the critters, eh, Skaar?

Hulk: Look out!

(grunting)

(groans)

(both screaming)

Jen, run!

Run? From this pint-sized annihilus?

Don't think so.

(grunting)

(crashing)

Ugh, did I win?

You did great.

Tower is above us.

We need a tunnel back to the surface.

Red Hulk: Go left!

-What did you say? -Wasn't me.

Red Hulk: I said go left, you blockheads!

All right, dude, your hair is screaming.

It's me, genius.

Red, you're alive!

'Course I'm alive.

I jumped back onto Greenie after I was zapped.

Been trying to get his attention, but...

Hmm. (chuckles)

Yeah, you're cute.

Hey! You knew I was here the whole time!

(scoffs) Red always acts like a big shot.

Figured it was time he learned what it was like to be the little guy.

Hulk: The sprinklers are off. Let's move.

Oh, this is just great.

Now there's a lake between us and the tower.

(grunts)

What this?

A-Bomb: It's a putting machine. It shoots out practice balls.

And maybe Hulks?

Well, if a Hulk can roll himself into a ball it can.

Both: Hmm.

Hmm? Huh?

All we have to do is change the speed.

A-Bomb: Now just aim a little higher.

Hulk was right about Skaar the whole time.

That boy's a lot smarter than he looks.

Sure you want to do this?

It's my b-day. I'm one of the big boys now.

(grunts)

Move it troops.

Let's give this soldier some altitude.

(both grunting)

(grunting continues)

Hey!

Fire!

A-Bomb: Whoo-hoo!

Ah, missed it.

Ow!

(A-Bomb groans)

(swooshes)

(thudding)

Hey, what happened?

Ugh, Skaar tripped me.

Nuh-uh.

That is it.

(groans)

Hulk: Rick.

Don't stop me, Hulk.

We both knew all along Skaar was out to sabotage us.

Say what, now?

(grunts) Some time back,

I overheard Skaar taking orders from The Leader.

And when were you gonna share that with us?

Yeah. After The Leader destroyed us?

I know what I'm doing.

Okay, I get it. Hulk wanted us to trust Skaar.

I just hope that doesn't wind up costing us our lives.

You gullible green goon, you're going to get us croaked.

Pipe down. We'll be fine, Red.

Red Hulk: Says you. I'm the size of a pea.

Ah, the Agents of S.M.A.S.H. Doing what you do best,

fighting amongst yourselves.

How amusing. (soft chuckle)

How predictable.

(humming)

(groans)

Excellent work, Skaar.

(grunts)

Thought you were one of us.

Guess I was wrong.

Leader promised to help Skaar.

I did indeed.

(whirring)

(zapping)

(grunts)

Poor, dumb Hulk.

Duped into trusting his own kind.

And now I have a promise

to make to you Hulks.

(groans)

Whoa!

(both groaning)

Come on, fight your way out of here, Greenie.

(grunts) Working on it.

Red Hulk: Hey!

-Aw. -(Hulk growls)

I promise your destruction.

(growls)

(grunting)

Who knew such a small victory

could feel so rewarding?

Hulk: Think about it Skaar.

How long until The Leader betrays you?

(sighs)

The Leader: Skaar has served me well,

even submitting to my shrink ray

to better betray you.

I have every intention of treating Skaar fairly

as long as he continues to obey.

Skaar had home and family once.

Maybe even birthday.

But Skaar can't remember them.

Still feel them, here.

The Leader promised Skaar remember,

if Skaar did as he said.

Only I know the secrets of your origin,

and I will reveal them once Hulk and his friends

are no more.

(grunts)

Skaar, you had a good thing with us.

(pants) We trusted you.

You traitor!

You're making a big mistake.

Hulk: No, Red.

Only Skaar can choose what's right for Skaar.

Well?

Skaar choose.

Good lad.

The Leader: I never doubted you'd make the right...

Ah, Skaar... Skaar!

Skaar, what are you...

(groaning)

(grunting)

(The Leader screaming)

-(yells) -(whimpering)

(growls)

(powering down)

(Hulk yells)

Skaar broke The Leader's concentration.

Let's break the rest of him.

Now I get it.

Skaar tripped me to trick The Leader

into believing he was on his side.

(gasping)

The Leader: No. No!

Stay back, savage.

Hulk: Skaar, look out!

I hope it was worth it, Skaar.

Throwing everything away to save freaks too small to help you.

Been waiting for this.

(grunting)

Hit him, Hulks!

(groans)

Here's red in your eye.

(groans)

(grunts)

A-Bomb, roll him this way.

A-Bomb: Coming up.

(groaning)

This is undignified.

(yells)

(slow-motion groaning)

Go, bite-sized Hulk.

(gasping, panting)

You've lost everything, Skaar.

The Leader: Now you'll never know where you came from.

-(grunts) -(groans)

This Skaar's home now.

Then perish here.

(remote beeps)

Leader just kicked things into overdrive.

He's shrinking the whole park.

Yes. To guarantee your descent into oblivion.

You could have served me, Skaar.

Now you will watch your friends disappear.

Farewell.

(loud whoosh)

Skaar, we still have a chance.

Slash the tower.

Skaar slash! (grunting)

There's got to be a way to un-shrink all of us.

There.

(She-Hulk grunts)

The purple and yellow ray shrunk us,

but not the blue.

So let's rewire for blue.

(all grunt)

Come on, Greenie. Put your back into it.

You're even more annoying when you're small.

(grunting)

Whoa! (screams)

(groaning)

She-Hulk: Got it. Whoa!

No!

(yells)

(beeps)

(zaps)

Skaar! You did it, buddy!

Now, come on out of there, you little red bug.

Do you ever wash your ears?

(heroic music)

(roars)

(thunder rumbling)

Skaar, you really are one of us.

I'm sorry for all you lost.

Your family, your true identity.

Skaar has new identity.

Agent of S.M.A.S.H.

And you Skaar's family now?

You got that right, brother. Come here.

(both chuckling)

(laughs)

(light music)

Park owner: Ah. Mighty nice of you Hulks to pay for the new course.

Seeing as the old one got shrunk down and all.

Park owner: Hope you like the layout.

Works for me.

Yay! (laughs)

Where's my statue?

Where's the Red Hulk love?

Oh, you're here too, Red.

(laughs)

You've got to be kidding me.

I don't want my face getting bashed all over Timbuktu.

This is an outrage!

Fore.

Happy birthday, Skaar.

Your first as part of our family.

We'll reunite you with the family you lost. Promise.

Old family not lost.

In here, with new family.

Yeah, that's sweet. Cake time!

(gasps)

New family in Skaar's heart,

but cake in Skaar's mouth only.

(munching)

(indistinct chatter)

It's nice to be Hulk-sized again.

And just in time for some chocolate birthday cake.

Hulk out.

(closing theme music)