Original subtitles

Hey, Hulkees,

we're scanning serious Negative Zone radiation under the big apple,

and we gotta deal with it before the Avengers show and make a mess.

And maybe get the big green guy some good press, too.

(whooshes)

-Okay, smashers, prep for drop. -(grunts)

Huh, now, we're all gonna back each other up?

All: No.

We've had trust issues lately.

A certain barbarian from another dimension promised not to drink all my juice.

Guess what?

(belches)

Red said he didn't touch my precious, but I know he did.

Did I break Ricky's guitar? No.

Am I glad it's broken? Absolutely.

Might not trust roommates, but you do have to trust teammates.

Lives depend on it.

-(siren blaring) -Hulks away!

Man: It's the Hulk! Man 2: Let's get out of here!

Hey, he's here to help.

(explosion)

Hulks, bow before your new master.

So, who's the furball?

Blastaar, from the Negative Zone.

So, why aren't we punching him?

(yells)

It's not a one-man show, Red!

(grunts)

Jones, you busted my guns, didn't you?

Maybe it was the same guy who broke my guitar!

(grunts)

You rush to your doom.

None may stand before the living bomb burst who is Blastaar.

-(roars) -(thuds)

You dare.

Hear me, my borers. Rise and consume my enemies.

(ground rumbling)

(roars)

(both grunting)

Tear them to pieces.

-Hey, barbarian boy, little help. -Skaar busy.

(roars)

(grunting)

A-bomb: Don't eat me. Don't eat me. I haven't showered. I taste terrible.

(chuckles)

A-bomb: Dude, it's Iron Man.

And he just saved my blue butt.

Skaar like shiny man.

What's he doing here?

Iron Man: Don't I get a thank you?

Oh, Iron Man.

-(clangs) -Please.

Blastaar: Pathetic.

Not even your mightiest hero can endure my power.

I'll show you who's mightiest.

(grunting)

(groaning)

(screaming)

(theme music)

(screaming, grunts)

Iron Man: Good thing you called for help.

What are you talking about?

Iron Man: The distress message you sent me?

Huh?

Iron Man: Oh, I get it. You don't want the others to know.

Didn't call him. Don't need him.

Just like Stark to make sure I'm "under control."

Peek-a-boo. I smash you.

Yeah, rock on, Iron Man.

Quit drooling, fan-boy.

He's just a rich guy in a fancy tin suit. I don't trust him.

Now Blastaar destroys you all.

Iron Man: You're not the only one with blasters.

(zaps)

(grunting)

Your defeat is imminent.

Almost done trashing Iron Man?

Good, I called you a cab.

(grunts)

Hulk: Never did pay the toll, furry.

(chuckles)

You've no idea what you're dealing with.

(clicks)

(whooshing)

That's right, lose-aar, run on home to momma.

Score another "W" for S.M.A.S.H. Hey-ho!

What do you suppose fang-face was after?

I don't know.

-You ever seen him before? -No.

I like Skaar. Kid's got promise.

Unfortunately, he works for a mad man with a really big head.

The Leader.

Been trying to destroy me

and take over the world long as I can remember.

Why allow a mole on my team?

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer.

Jarvis: Sir, we have a code three.

Iron Man: There's been a break-in at Stark.

As soon as I got called away to help you,

my lab was attacked.

I don't think it's a coincidence.

We called the tin man?

No, but someone made it seem like we did.

Blastaar showing up with a few monsters

does seem more like a distraction than a real attack.

So of course we're going after I.M. that's what I call Iron Man for short,

to get to the bottom of this.

That's right. Stark industries, here we come.

(crash)

Iron Man: Stark to Hulks, do not engage the intruder. Over.

You heard the shell-head.

Wait a minute, where's Skaar?

(chuckles) Skaar stab.

Iron Man: What is the matter with you?

Uh, you're welcome? He stopped it.

I wanted it to escape.

With the tracer I planted on it?

Ah, so you could catch whoever sent it. That is brilliant, I.M.

Can I do the I.M.?

Iron Man: That spy-bot bypassed all of my defenses

and broke into one of my most secure vaults,

and I still have no idea how.

Hulk: Well, I do. It cloaks.

Iron Man: Aren't you the smart one.

Um, I'm no billionaire inventor genius, but I get by.

She-Hulk: What's in that vault, anyway?

It's classified.

Was classified. Now it's a problem.

(door hisses)

Where are you guys going?

Yo, Red, we're not supposed to be here. If I.M. Finds out--

He'll never personalize your autographed photo.

O-M-G. (blows kiss)

-Trust me, kid, I know what I'm doing. -(chuckles)

Oh, you're so busted.

Well, Merry Christmas in July. I knew it.

Iron Man: What is going on in here?

What is going on in here?

This is where he hides Iron Man armor number 14,

codenamed the Hulkbuster.

Hulkbuster? What's he talking about, Tony?

Ain't it obvious, shulkie?

Look at the armor, the weapons on these babies.

Each one is specially equipped to fight one of us.

Iron Man built armor to fight me.

Hey, wait a minute.

(grunts)

Nice blade.

It was made to give you a haircut, shaggy.

Red: They were created to destroy us.

I say we destroy them first.

Stand down.

You have a right to be mad, but that's not who we are anymore.

We've seen enough.

Iron Man: Look, guys, you've gotten out of control in the past.

She-Hulk: I'm about to get out of control now.

Don't worry. He knows better than to send his toys after us.

Hulk: Or at least he better know.

(suspenseful music)

It's one thing to build those to protect the world from me,

but to make weapons to use against my friends, my family,

that's wrong.

Red: I knew we couldn't trust that sleaze-ball playboy.

Philanthropist and superhero, who's saved the world how many times?

This has gotta be a mistake, right?

(groaning)

A-bomb: Some day we're all gonna look back at this and just laugh.

Rick, I'm not laughing.

So I'm guessing I.M. really doesn't trust us.

He never trusted me.

I know you're in there, Stark. (grunts)

Why are you attacking us, Stark? We were leaving.

Not me. I'm staying.

(screams)

(groans)

(grunting)

Watch my back this time.

Yes, Skaar watch.

-(roars) -(groans)

Oh, you are so useless.

(screams)

Why, Tony? Why?

This ends now.

Hmm.

(grunts)

Kid, we'll beat 'em if you follow my orders.

You gotta trust me.

Trust you? Mr. Guitar smasher? Sir, no, sir.

Blockhead!

Hulk: Hulks, smash!

Red: Of course Stark has his own moon.

Where are you tin-head? Come out, now.

(zapping)

(grunts)

(groans)

Hey, don't fry him.

-He owes me a six-string. -(alarm blares)

(grunts)

Rick. No!

Stark!

(grunting)

No Stark?

Lucky for me.

(zapping)

Rick.

(A-Bomb groans)

Iron Man: Okay, we're in trouble.

No, really?

Iron Man: Listen, I gave them gamma incinerators, in case I had to...

incinerate you.

But don't worry, I've got an idea.

-What? -Iron Man: Just hold still.

(whirring)

Iron Man: Well, my hologram trick worked.

Whoever's driving the Hulkbusters think they've destroyed us for now.

Thanks for the save, I.M.

-Yeah, you're a real pal. -Ah!

-We coulda been croaked, Stark! -Aw! Aw! Aw!

Red, stop, man.

Red, hold up a second.

Well, if you Hulks are done smashing me,

(spits) I'd like to show you something.

Iron Man: That stealth bot planted a virus in my Hulkbusters,

giving someone remote access to them.

They'll be coming for us, and this time a hologram won't stop them.

So, how do we stop your us-busters?

You don't.

We need arc fission weapons and we don't have them.

Got what we need right here.

Only way to stop a Hulkbuster is with a Hulkbuster.

We each take a piece. Do the math.

You think this scrap is gonna save us?

Yeah, did you get hit in the head?

Big guy, this is just junk.

Your own team doesn't trust you.

How can you expect the world to?

Dumb thing won't stay. (grunts)

Look you big-- Hang on, you're gonna break it.

Going after me I get.

Hulk: But why them?

Iron Man: What happens if you or one of them get out of control

and the rest of you couldn't or wouldn't help?

That possibility frightens people.

I'm-- We're trying to change that.

Sometimes I think we will never be trusted.

Gimme that, idiot!

-Stop grabbing, Red. -Yo, save some rockets.

Gimme a blaster. Hey, I want a repulsor. Skaar: Mine! Mine!

Oh, I get stuck with the leg?

Come on.

-(smashing) -Hulk: Here they come.

(elevator dings)

(warbling)

Surprise. (grunts)

Hulks, smash!

(grunts)

How do you like me now?

Ha-ha, now we're cooking!

(Skaar growling)

(grunts)

A-bomb: Yo, ugly, the game is afoot.

Did I really just say that?

Oh, yeah, power to the boot!

Uh-oh. What are those bolt-headed bozos up to now?

Look alive, everyone.

Hey! They're magnetizing!

(loud whirring)

Were you gonna tell us your us-busters could go presto-change-o?

Iron Man: The armor's been compromised. Someone else is doing this.

(grunts)

Greetings, Hulk and the agents of S.M.A.S.H.

Prepare to meet your doom.

-The Leader. -Leader: Oh, yes.

The power of our creation is quite intoxicating, Stark.

While I would relish grinding the Hulks to liquid,

I'm on a schedule.

(grunting)

(groaning)

(explosion)

Come on!

-Hulk: Skaar! Move! -(grunts)

(all straining)

Come on. We gotta bust Stark outta here.

Iron Man: Hulk, forget about me. You've got to bring this thing down.

What are you saying?

Iron Man: My reactor is charging the Hulkbusters to critical mass.

The Leader's turned them into a giant flying bomb.

So, Stark couldn't tell us that before we jumped on?

Ha, right.

You've gone and spoiled my surprise, Stark.

Iron Man: You're mad. Millions will die.

And from the ashes, you and the Hulks will be blamed,

A squabble of mighty heroes having destroyed a helpless city.

And the world will come to hate you all as I do.

Leader: Trust me, Hulk, you can't win.

Hulk: Everyone, take this monster apart!

You gotta trust each other, fight as one.

You got it!

All right, already.

Will do.

Hulk: Skaar, you in?

(grunts)

(groaning)

(screaming)

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

(grunting)

Gotcha!

Thanks, kid.

-You take out the other arm? -Other arm?

-Red Hulk: Idiot! -A-Bomb: Jerk!

(grunting)

Iron Man: Hulk! You've got to power down the reactors simultaneously.

You need a class 3 E.M.P. or--

Or unplug 'em at the same time.

(groaning)

You're too late.

Let's prove him wrong.

(grunting)

Iron Man: Thanks.

Now get this thing away from the city.

Right.

(splashes)

(ship horn tooting)

Cutting the cables. Hmm, aren't you the smart one?

Iron Man: Well, I am a billionaire inventor genius.

It's Iron Man!

-All right! -Go, Iron Man!

Hmm. Figures.

Iron Man: I trust you, big guy. I'm going to dismantle the Hulkbusters.

Keep one, in case I do lose control of the monster someday.

(snores)

-(grunts) -(clangs)

(grunts)

A-Bomb: I don't get it.

So, he broke my guitar, and he broke Red's gun?

That's not all he did.

Hulk: Skaar sent the distress call to pull Stark from his lab

and destroyed the stealth bot.

All to protect The Leader's agenda.

So, that traitor's working for The Leader?

(gasps) Did he really have to break my guitar?

You see that?

-We have to warn the others. -Rick. No.

Skaar doesn't know it yet, but he's going to give us The Leader.

Oh, brilliant, big guy!

"Keep your friends close, your enemies closer."

Or turn enemies into friends.

Hulk out.

(closing theme music)