Original subtitles

Look at him. Owen's sleeping like a baby.

Actually, he's sleeping like an adult person on a Saturday.

Babies are terrible at sleeping, but you wanna eat their little faces!

Anyway, I'm glad he's getting some rest.

He's had a tough week. First, there was the toilet issue.

Who-- What? Why would someone throw a toilet out a window?

Then there was the trash fire.

I should have called it a Segway fire. More exciting.

I don't know why I didn't call it that.

And then there was the drunk possum.

Wait, did it drink rum?

Just walk around the tree, buddy. Walk around-- Walk around it.

But Owen handled all of that 'cause he's the best.

Actually, everyone inside the castle had a rough week.

I'm gonna go fast. Try to keep up.

Instead of writing about Bitsy and the mayor's villainous plot,

Paige had to write an article on the top ten best places in the city to get toast.

Cut my mouth. Stupid toast.

Poor Molly had a hard week with her art teacher who just doesn't get her.

What do you mean?

I'm wishing it was more dimensional.

Wishing you were more dimensional.

-What's that? -Nothing.

Wait, did you just spill coffee on my drawing?

No.

And Cole.

He's been kinda wishing that he had somewhere to play outside

that wasn't a public park.

I'm always doing stupid stuff? You're always doing stupid stuff.

-Tell that to your haircut. -At least I have a haircut.

-What? -Nothing. Love your hair.

-What are you looking at? -I'm gonna leave.

Okay, that covers it. Bad week. Everybody's sleeping.

It's not weird that I'm watching them.

Wait. One more thing.

But it's not-- It's not a big deal at all. Like at all.

Kingsley University offered Owen a job. Yes, that Kingsley University.

The fancy, smart, rich one up in Connecticut that thinks it's so great.

Anyway, they want Owen to be the Olmsted and Vaux

of a huge plot of land they acquired next to campus.

Olmsted and Vaux designed Central Park.

Look how old-timey they are.

Anyway, Owen isn't even remotely considering taking the job

and moving to a different city to start a new life,

because why would he, right?

He's not a dum-dum head.

The lady from the university is calling today at 5:00.

Owen has to tell her if he's taking the job or not.

I'm gonna gracefully hide in this tree now.

I've been thinking. Sorry. Did I scare you?

I thought you were asleep.

I was. Then I woke up and started talking 'cause I'm alive.

Anyway, I've been thinking.

Maybe we should talk more about this Kingsley thing.

I know you've had job offers before, but this could be really good for us.

I know! Sorry, did I yell that?

But do we really wanna move?

Babe, they're talking about selling the park,

and they froze out the Park League. They're all over you.

Maybe you could work somewhere that actually appreciates you.

Plus you'd be designing this new park. It would be kind of yours.

Think about it.

I am thinking about it. It's stressing me out.

I've been grinding my teeth all night.

Is that what that was? Good. I thought we had termites.

And there's other stuff they're throwing at us.

Free housing in a nice house with a backyard

and free private school for the kids.

Damn, it's breathy in here.

Scooch over. I'm getting in. Please don't be naked.

So, I talked to Brendan,

and we decided we could make things work long-distance after we move.

It's not really long-distance. Connecticut.

Don't say "Connecticut" at me.

It's long-distance if I say it's long-distance,

which is romantic and cool.

Can we stop saying we're moving? Nobody said we're moving.

Before we move, there's something we have to do.

-There it is again. -I tried to bring this up last night,

but it was job talk, job talk, so this is what I wanted to say.

Enrique is telling me that sometimes

people in New York give away all their Stackster pieces for free.

On the Internet, and sometimes it's a lot of them. Like a lot.

They give them away for free? Really?

Yeah. They basically post a picture online and say, "Come and get 'em,"

the way I imagine dating apps work.

I love free. We could always use more Stacksters.

For our father-son builds?

Our little hands holding little blocks building big, imaginary worlds?

Yes!

Owen, we should talk more. The lady from Kingsley is calling at 5:00.

Yep, yep, yep. Just gonna go get my computer

and look into this Stackster thing.

-Real quick. -So quick.

Won't take long. Just gonna put on pants.

You know? I won't even put on pants.

That's my guy.

All right, scroll down. Good. Keep scrolling.

I know how to use a computer.

-There. Click there. -Clicking.

-Click better. Holy brick. -Dear Lord.

So many Stacksters. Message them.

I am, I am. "Are your Stacksters still available for pickup?" And send.

And now we wait.

There's a good chance they already gave them away,

so let's try not to get our hopes up-- Oh, my God, she wrote back.

That was so fast.

"Come get them. Here's our address." Oh, my God!

-Yes, yes! -What's happening?

We hit the mother lode. We'll be back.

-Dad, pants? -No time, Dad.

-We've got bricks to pick up. -I forgot I wasn't wearing pants.

Come on, Molly. He was about to leave the house with no pants on.

-You were gonna let me? -Yes. Would have been incredible.

Sorry. We're not gonna get that chance again for a while, huh?

No.

This is the fastest I've ever driven through the park.

I don't want anybody to get those bricks before us.

If they do, you run them down. You run them down!

I will. I'll do it.

We got the bricks, we got the bricks

We got the bricks

We got the bricks

We got--

She just gave you these?

Yeah. Her son went to college, so these are ours now.

You guys are cold-blooded.

That poor kid probably doesn't know she gave them away.

-Can we just build, please? -Yep, yep. Let's do it.

Okay, can we talk first?

This job offer is potentially maybe more important than Stacksters.

-Bite your tongue. -Owen, we need to talk!

Okay, okay. We're gonna talk. We're gonna talk so much,

but I just have to build first for an indefinite amount of time.

Maybe there's a comparison here. Think about this.

Sometimes in life, somebody offers you something nice,

and you just have to take it.

Like these Stacksters.

This morning, we didn't have them, and now we do.

AKA when someone offers you something nice, you take it.

Don't make the Stacksters about this job offer.

That gives me an idea. Let's make these Stacksters about this job offer.

-No. -This is a great, maybe perfect idea.

I think we should all build the lives we could have

if Dad was gonna take this job.

No. You can't tell somebody what to build.

I like it. Yes, we get to build our amazing, perfect future lives.

No, there's no rules. You build whatever you want.

I love it. I'm gonna build my perfect future life.

And then we can present our perfect future--

I'm not gonna do the whisper thing.

Then we can present our perfect future

living-in-Connecticut-and-loving-it lives to each other.

-All right, let's build. -Build whatever you want.

All right, let's spread out. I need more room.

Farther away from all of you. I love you.

Oh, my God, I did so good. I'll go first.

-Can we just build? -Nope.

Our new house is just off the prestigious campus of Kingsley University.

My room in our new house is simple.

A mattress on the floor, art books for genius artists scattered about.

Wait, so you're a gymnast in your future life?

No, ignore her outfit. I thought she was cute, and she kinda has my hair.

Anyway, shush.

To make money, I take a job as the janitor at the university.

Wait, you get a job in this scenario? You're not going to school or--

Lot of questions during my future life presentation.

Sorry.

Hi. How's it going? Yep, just the janitor. No need to talk to me.

That's all the time we have today in super-advanced art class.

For extra credit, what I've written here on the chalkboard

is a description of a drawing that's nearly impossible to draw.

If you could somehow manage to draw this drawing,

you would be in the rare company

with the likes of Monet, Van Gogh and that MAD magazine guy.

Good luck. Class dismissed.

There's no way I could draw that. That's impossible.

You'd have to be a super double art genius to draw that.

Come on. Let's go get a really expensive lunch with our rich daddies' money.

That night, I was all alone, mopping the hall.

-You're still mopping? -It's a lot of mopping, okay?

But I didn't come here to mop.

I came here to do art. If I could just believe in myself.

The blank page is so frightening

Like a tiger staring back

I've got my colors here beside me

To guide me and hide me From the attack

Sometimes I feel like I can see things

Things that no one else can see

And I just wish That someone else could tell me

That they see them too

But then again It's kinda cool that it's just me

I know that I could be

I could be something amazing

If I just let myself be free

Create the things that amaze me

If I could paint the world The way I wanna see the world

Then that's the world That I would wanna be in

Take all the light that glows in me

And shine it like a sun

I think I could be Someone to believe in

I'm always cleaning up these messes

Beautiful patterns on the floor

I wish this mop could be A gigantic paintbrush

So I could show them all That I've got more in store

I know that I could be

I could be something amazing

If I just let myself be free

Create the things that amaze me

If I could paint the world The way I wanna see the world

Then that's the world That I would wanna be in

Take all the light that glows in me

And shine it like a sun

I think I could be Someone to believe in

If I could paint the world The way I wanna see the world

Then that's the world That I would wanna be in

Take all the light that glows in me

And shine it like the sun

I think I could be someone

To believe in

At night, I sneak out of the house

to hang out with my dumber, slightly violent townie friends.

Hey, Molly. We should beat up that guy over there.

He bumped into me, and said, "Excuse me," but in a weird way.

Let's fight that guy. Right? Molly.

Sorry, I was doing a drawing in my head. Let's not fight him.

Can we finally go beat up your old art teacher?

He's so stupid not to get how art smart you are.

You know what? I'm gonna get out of here.

Are you serious? We don't get to do fighting?

-I gotta go see about a chalkboard. -I just got chills.

The impossible drawing. Here we go.

"Draw a turtle playing basketball underwater, Garfield style."

You can do this, Molly.

Wait, that's the impossible drawing? What's Garfield style?

Exactly, Mom. What is it? Seems impossible, doesn't it?

I guess.

Word got out that the impossible drawing had been drawn,

and people packed the lecture hall to find out who had drawn it.

It's beautiful. Someone in my art class is an art genius.

Go on, step forward. Show yourself.

Don't be shy. Step forward.

It's not time to clean really, young janitor girl!

I'm stepping forward!

What? Your floor buffer is too loud. I can't hear you.

Sorry, I was trying to multitask.

I said, I'm stepping forward. That's my drawing.

-But you're-- -The janitor? Yeah. I know.

Turns out I can draw the crap out of a turtle

-and buff the crap out of a floor. -How did you learn how to do this?

I get it from my dad, I think.

He's a genius in his own way.

He made the decision to move here, and he realized all of his dreams.

He built the park here, and it won number one best park

and that inspired me last night.

Let's hear it for my dad.

And that's when my life changed.

My ability as a visual artist had finally been recognized.

After word got out that I had successfully drawn the impossible drawing,

I was asked by France to hang some of my work in the Louvre.

The country of France asked you?

Yeah. I don't really have time to explain how the whole art world works, Cole.

Where was I? Yeah.

I was leaving the Louvre, which is pronounced Louvre, Mom.

-What? -And I ran into my old art teacher.

He was in line for my show. He looked like crap.

He didn't realize it was me. I spilled coffee on him, and it felt great.

The end. You're welcome.

If we don't move to Connecticut, I'll never get my work put up in the Louvre.

I don't think they do that. Never mind.

Why am I saying that? Sounds great. It's a good story, Molly.

-So should we start packing? -No.

I wanna show my future life. This will help.

Our new house is the perfect place for me to live and work.

I wake up next to my handsome husband.

He sleeps in now because at his new job, he gets to make his own hours.

He's stress-free and his muscles got really big.

-Because he's a wrestler? -No. He's just super strong now.

-And you're a mermaid? -Yes, I'm beautiful.

I just-- I can't walk anywhere, 'cause I have a tail.

-Here. Swap these out. -That is better. Thank you.

Every morning, I wake up with my human legs,

have a sensible breakfast, and drive through the country.

After we moved, I realized I was never gonna crack

the big Bitsy-Mayor corruption piece I was working on,

so I wrote fiction, which I hadn't done in 20 years,

and they published the first thing I turned in.

They were like, "We have zero notes," and it was a hit.

I got a 15-book deal. My detective series "Hunter Gatherer"

was about a woman detective named Hunter who "gathered" evidence.

-I have a note. -I do too.

If it's about the title, I don't want to hear it.

-Never mind. -It's not a great title.

Cruising down the road And look at me go now

I'm an author Just like Jodi Picoult now

Hit detective series

With Reddit fan page theories

It's the Doctor!

Former journalist That's got a new headline

"Local woman hits paperback big time"

Going on my book tours

Hitting all the famous bookstores

Cramp, cramp!

Check it out, here's a different Paige

Check me out while I turn the page

Living that good life

Knew-that-I-could life

Now, now, now

Look at how now we meditate

Wow, 'cause we're now On a different wave

Startin' our days with yoga and sage

Like ow, ow

Not flexible yet.

When I get a call From Hollywood's number

I pick it up, they say "What up?

And we wonder would you be ecstatic If your books were cinematic?"

Cut to: I'm on a set And giving notes on the screenplay

I'm pounding lattes From the crafty caffeine tray

Acting nonchalant, 'kay That we somehow cast Beyoncé

Every few months, we take vacations

That's where I get my inspirations

Deep-sea dives Looking fish in the eyes, like

Then we go to the dolphin encounter

Swimming with dolphins, Nothing profounder

Setting them free 'Cause they belong in the sea

Like, go, go

This took a weird turn.

Never thought I'd make The New York Times Best Seller List

Twenty-seven times

Never thought my life could ever be Looking like a Nancy Meyers film

Where everything's cream, cream, cream

The kitchen's so clean, clean, clean

There's always pastries on the counter

Like, how did they get there?

How does she have the time to bake?

'Cause I'm amazing

No life looks perfect on the page

I'm grateful for every former stage

And life can be rocky But look where it got me

Now, now, now

Cruising down the road And look me go now

I'm an author Just like Jodi Picoult now

Connecticut. It's so beautiful here.

I'm glad my husband is extremely talented and that we moved here.

Look at that bunny rabbit in the road.

Okay, move out of the way, little bunny rabbit.

You gotta move.

Oh, my God, bunny, move. Why aren't you moving?

Wait. You crashed your car

in your own story about how amazing your life is gonna be?

Yes. Don't do this. You'll see.

I tried to escape, but couldn't. Eventually, I lost consciousness.

-What the-- -Good. Sleepyhead's finally awake.

Who are you? Why did you strap me down?

You dirty bird. What about a little thank you for saving your life?

-Thank you, Margarett. -Thank you, Margaret.

No, it's Margarett with two T's.

-Margarett? -No.

-M-Margarett? -Not even close.

Should we just go ahead and undo these straps?

It's for your own good. You're too weak to stand up.

Mom, this feels kinda dark.

Stop interrupting. This woman is obsessed with me. It's great.

Why is that great?

I always wanted to have a stalker. I told you that.

-You did? -Yes.

A literary stalker is the ultimate compliment.

-Don't you want a park stalker? -No.

What?

I found your skinny computer in your car,

and I found the next Hunter Gatherer manuscript, and I read it.

I had some thoughts.

Wouldn't it be better if Hunter met, say, an older woman

with a quirky sense of humor, and she helps Hunter solve a case.

And her name could be Annie Hoo-Dunnit.

She could end up getting her own series of books too. Do you love it?

You know, Hunter's kind of a loner.

Usually, but in this one, maybe Hunter's toe is broken,

and she needs a little help getting around.

What do you mean? Ow, ow, ow, ow.

So, yeah, maybe she just hasn't met the right friend yet,

and maybe Annie Hoo-Dunnit's catch phrase is,

"Who done it? You done it."

I like it. I like it a lot.

Good, you let go of my toe.

I'm gonna start thinking now.

Then you'll write it. Here. With me.

'Cause I've got a bunch of ideas, and you've got a bunch of toes.

Who wants banana yogurt?

You do.

-I do? -I'll get it. You start thinking.

This is so fun. We're writing.

So, there I was, strapped to the chair. Full of banana yogurt.

Being forced to write on an old computer with a dusty old mouse.

I played along. Margarett checked on me constantly.

Hello. How's it going?

So good. So good.

So exciting. Do you need to poop?

-No. -I do!

And every second I was alone, I spent plotting my escape.

But then, I got lucky.

Behind the document was an AOL login screen.

All I had to do was figure out the password.

I think I know what AOL is. I've heard tell of it from yesteryear.

Some young, vibrant people still have an AOL email address.

Every time Margarett would pop her head in the door,

I'd switch the window back to the document before she noticed.

I needed more time.

You have one more password attempt before you are locked out.

Think, Paige. You're so smart. You can figure this out. Of course.

You did it. You're online.

I gotta email Owen. "Crazy old lady kidnapped me.

Her name's Margarett with two T's. I don't know if that's relevant.

Anyway, I'm in a cabin. Don't know the address. I see trees.

Maybe birch trees?

You're the tree guy. I don't know. Come quick."

And send. Oh, no, this mouse. Ugh.

Who wants another banana yogurt?

What's that sound? Is that my AOL you're on?

No AOL, you don't.

Somebody's been a very naughty little writer.

Connection lost. So sad. Too bad.

You take this, and I'll take this. Now, get back to work.

She left me there with yogurt in my lap.

I had no idea if my email went out.

I was afraid all hope was lost.

I had a lot of lap yogurt that night.

Owen!

I came as quickly as I could. I didn't even put on pants.

You got Dad to leave the house without pants.

I got the email. Really great tree identification, sweetie.

-Made it super easy to find you. -Thanks, babe.

Let's get out of here.

No one's going anywhere. Come at me, Mr. Hot Legs.

Owen wrestled Margarett to the ground.

Please don't make me wrestle an old lady in my underwear.

You do that every night. Okay, fine.

You only wrestle for a few seconds,

and then we jump out the window, and we're safe.

What a story. Who wouldn't wanna move now, huh?

-Totally confusing. -What?

It sounded really scary and bad.

I feel like if I tell it one more time from the top--

Oh, no. No, thanks, Mom.

It's my turn, and I've been building while you were talking.

I mean, listening also.

But Dad, I think, is gonna be really excited

about some of the stuff I was doing over here,

-and now he's ready to come to my world. -Nope. Don't like this.

Dad, shh.

After Father does the right thing

and accepts the position as top park design person at Kingsley University,

I had my very own, I believe the term is, backyard,

and it was glorious.

I love my dad.

What's that, son? I came out to play.

Hey, Dad. I was just yelling that I love you

while standing in our new backyard.

That's nice. You're my favorite child.

The other one's fine, but you're perfect.

Should we hold hands and spin around and laugh?

Yes.

-This is ridiculous. -Hey, I wanna get in on this.

Yay!

Okay, okay. Back to the story.

Mom does have an errand to do.

Kinda focusing on Dad here right now, Mom.

Right, right. I'm gonna leap over this fence and go do judo,

'cause they have that here.

What should we do with this backyard, Dad? We spun around, we laughed.

Do you have any ideas? You always have great ideas.

Actually, I was talking to a professor in the science department,

and he said they have a rocket ship they don't need anymore.

You wouldn't want a rocket ship in our backyard, would you?

Sounds boring. What else you got?

Just kidding. That's amazing. Like a real rocket ship?

We're at Kingsley University now, son. Of course, it's a real rocket ship.

Yay!

Oh, my God. No. Please skip that part.

There's one thing.

My rocket scientist professor friend said it still has a little fuel in the tank,

so whatever you do, don't press the launch button, okay?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. For sure.

Yeah. Totally. Yeah, no, definitely.

I'm in--

Whoo! That was incredible.

Well, got that out of my system.

Happy I'm back, and no one will ever know.

-Good night, rocket ship. -Nighty night.

-Are you an alien? -Yes, sir.

You don't have to call me sir. I'm just a boy.

I'm a big boy. Wait, you speak English?

-A little bit. -Oh, my God, you're so cute.

I jumped on when you passed my planet. You seemed like a cool dude.

-What do I feed you? -I only eat once a year,

-but I need to play all the time. Yay! -Yay!

Everything was great, that is, until the government showed up.

I'll get it, 'cause I'm so relaxed and happy in this new life,

I don't mind getting up.

I work for the government. Have any of you seen an alien lately?

We wanna do experiments on him and poke him a lot.

He won't like it, but it'll be good for science. Maybe. We don't know.

-No. -Nope. No.

-No. -No. No.

Okay, bye. If you see him, let us know because we're looking for him,

and we really wanna poke him a lot.

-Oh, no, Norg. What do we do? -I'm frightened.

We're gonna get you out of here.

This was a fun playdate, but we gotta get you home.

We don't want you to get experimented on,

no matter how many diseases your blood might be able to cure.

Twenty. I think it's 20.

Wow, that's a lot.

Did I say 20? I mean zero.

Let's get you home.

So, we fired up the engines for one last flight

in our backyard rocket ship,

but then suddenly, who showed up, but the army.

Wait, we can use other toys?

Yeah, you could've, but you didn't. I don't know what that says about you.

They had us in their sights.

If we took off, they would've blasted us out of the sky.

It was up to Dad to talk to the army.

Cole, let me talk to them.

I'm feeling really relaxed and well-rested because I took this job.

I know. Your skin looks fantastic.

Let me see if I can make the army be relaxed.

Dad was amazing.

In just a few minutes, he had the army so chilled out.

Yay!

Norg got home safely, and everyone lived happily ever after

unless you had one of those 20 diseases that Norg's blood could have cured.

The end.

It's not a contest, but I think I win.

If it was a contest, you'd be disqualified for too much spinning

and using other toys.

I'm not sure why you were allowed to do that. We're all mad at you.

-I thought it was beautiful, honey. -You are correct.

Dad, what about you? Where you at?

The lady's calling in 15 minutes. Are we moving?

I don't know. I don't know.

Can I show you what I built?

This is the new park at Kingsley University.

What the--

It's incredible.

My rocket ship was good too.

It was great, Cole.

Dang it. Can't get this tree to stay up. It keeps falling.

Dad, you're really good at building with these things.

I know, right? Crap, tree fell again. Here we go.

All right, here's me walking through my park, feeling good.

We needed the lows To see how high our hopes could climb

But now we know Just what we want to find

So look at me now I'm living idealistically

I found my bliss even unrealistically

We're out of the park I'm out of the dark

No worries following me

I'm strong as a mule

I'm living by my own rules

No shoes, no shirt No problems, you see

This tree is a pith It's kind of hurting my vibe here

It's starting to kill What I am trying to describe here

'Cause everything else I've built is so impeccable

Ugh, stupid tree I'm gonna kill it with chemicals

Then I chop it down

And put it in the wood chipper

Cut this tree up Like I'm Jack the Ripper

You okay, Dad?

What? What? Yeah, I'm just processing.

We all need the lows To see how high our hopes can climb

And now we know And now we know

Just what we're gonna find

We can't know if life Will hand us happiness and love

But what we got, the life we got We've gotta be proud of

Wherever we land

There'll still be trees That won't stand

Our troubles won't disappear

Just 'cause we don't live as near

They'll be following you

So better to follow through

With all the loose ends And old friends

You've gotta make amends with all

'Cause problems follow you

And memories follow too

A creepy stalker Named Margarett might follow you, yeah

But look behind you

Your family's following you

There's only one thing to do

You've got to follow

Through

-I don't wanna take the job. -Thank God.

Feels good.

-What? -I thought I wanted a different life,

but I think I was just wanting that for you

because you seem so stressed these days.

But to be honest, I love it here, and I--

I could never walk away from the paper

and the life we have here and the story I want to write.

And, hey, maybe somebody will stalk me here.

That's the spirit, hon.

I don't think I really wanted to move either.

There's probably a really annoying art teacher in Connecticut too,

who spills, like, chili on everything.

-I don't know what they eat there. -Probably chili.

And I don't wanna leave New York. I love it here.

I have one of those shirts that says, "I heart New York."

They don't just give those out.

I have one too, and you know what? I do heart New York.

I thought I wanted my own backyard

but what kid can say that Central Park is their own backyard?

I'm the only kid that can say that.

Hello?

Plus, they might have spaceships in Connecticut,

but do they have squirrels? I don't think so.

That's right, no squirrels in Connecticut.

Out here.

I knew the whole time that he wasn't gonna take the job.

Did I seem scared? I was not scared. I was totally confident.

Why did I fall out of a tree? Physical comedy. You're welcome.

I'm just gonna lay here for a little while.

Not because I'm hurt. I'm totally fine.

Every few months, we take vacations

That's where I get my inspirations

Deep-sea dives Looking fish in the eyes, like

Look at how now we meditate

Wow, 'cause we're now On a different wave

Startin' our days with yoga and sage

Like ow, ow

Cramp, cramp!

Then we go to the dolphin encounter

Swimming with dolphins Nothing profounder

Setting them free 'Cause they belong in the sea

Like, go, go

Check it out, here's a different Paige

Check me out while I turn the page

Living that good life

Knew-that-I-could life

Now, now, now

How does she have the time to bake?

'Cause I'm amazing