Original subtitles

[melodic chime]

♪ Guilty ♪

♪ Pleasures ♪

[host] If you were in paradise...

♪ Try and resist it if you like ♪

...with these people...

♪ Guilty pleasures ♪

...and had to resist sex...

could you?

Hell, no.

Nobody can keep it in their pants these days.

[man 1] To the strip club!

[host] 'Cause hooking up is as easy as swiping right.

[woman 1] Oh, that one's fire.

[host] So, obviously we found the hottest, horniest, commitment-phobic swipesters...

-[woman 2] Everyone's, like, so horny! -[grunting]

...and given them what they think is the most exotic

and erotic summer of their lives...

-I think we just have a big orgy. -[woman 3] What?

...only to reveal that one thing is off the menu.

Sex.

[gasps, screams]

What is this, some type of joke?

-[host] To make it worse, they can't kiss. -No!

I'm starting to look at the fish differently!

[host] At stake is a prize of $100,000...

-[gasps] -[woman 4] My God!

...which will plummet if they get naughty.

I don't wanna cost more than three grand.

[host] The question is, in a world without sex,

will they form deeper and more meaningful connections?

-[woman 3] Did you have sex? -We didn't.

[woman 3] Give me a hug.

-I got more respect for myself. -[host] Or will temptation be...

too...

[man] What, is it sincere now?

...hot...

Wanna go have sex?

-...to... -[man 3] At this rate,

-we'll have fuck-all in the pot. -...handle?

[laughs] My friends are gonna love this twist.

[host] In less than 12 hours,

our sexed-up singles will be hit with a no-sex sucker punch.

I'm talking full-on bang ban.

Thankfully, I don't have to break the news,

as this luxury no-bone zone

comes fully equipped with its own virtual guide.

[melodic chime] Hi, I'm Lana.

My purpose is to put the guests on the path towards making deeper

and more meaningful connections.

[melodic chime]

[host] For the first 12 hours,

Lana will be watching our horny guests in the wild,

and she will be secretly gathering personal data

before she lays down the sex ban.

Let's meet oblivious single number one.

Ooh, girl, please. Are you kidding me?

I would.

[Chloe] Oh, my God.

[excited squeal]

Oh, God.

-[cork pops] -Woo-hoo!

Here's to being the only one here!

Hi, I'm Chloe. I'm 20 years old.

I'm quite ditzy, as well,

so you've just gotta be really patient with me,

'cause I'm not the brightest spark...

um...

in the book.

Dating apps are like a part-time job for me. [giggles]

Because I just get so addicted to it, like--

-[phone chimes] -Oh, that was my phone.

It's on loud. I'm so sorry.

Snapchat snapped me...

with a picture of his boxers!

[squeals] No! Go away.

[giggles]

[sighs]

Oh, my God, I don't wanna see who's coming.

But then they'll see my small pancake bum. I'll just turn round.

Oh, my God. Please be...

a sexy boy.

[host] Who are you expecting, Jeff from Finance?

Although, this next guy is exceptional at picking up numbers.

Hi!

Hi, how are you?

Oh, my God. He's got tattoos.

This is lit.

Do you drink?

Uh, anything. I'm Sharron, by the way.

-Lovely to meet you. -Likewise.

Two kisses. Mwah!

-What was your name, sorry? -Sharron. You?

-Chloe. -What are we toasting to?

-Cheers. Um... -Cheers to...

[both] To beautiful people?

-Your eyes are gorgeous, too. Oh, my God. -Thank you.

Here we go.

I'm a feminist, yes. [chuckles]

I study Woman and Gender Studies at college.

If you really pay attention, you get the blueprint to how to pick up women.

[laughs]

I definitely play the field. You can never have too many options.

That's why sports teams have players on the bench.

Definitely got a lot of people on the bench. [laughs]

[bat hitting ball]

Anywhere I go, I can meet a woman.

In a grocery store, I can meet women in church.

I just signed up for Christian Mingle. So, any Christians out there... [chuckles]

♪ Hallelujah! ♪

What I'm most proud of is my penis.

I have this picture, it's measured next to an air freshener can.

[laughs]

Ah.

Oh, you gotta do one spin. Just spin.

-Spin one time. -Ohh.

I mean...

-Oh, sh-- -Oh my God, there's someone else coming.

♪ Hallelujah! ♪

[host] Something tells me Sharron doesn't get this excited on Christian Mingle.