All language subtitles for Yonderland.S03E08_English

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,200 Wait! Negatus! Come on! I'm telling you, 2 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,160 I've found them, the missing ones. 3 00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:20,440 -And you're sure? -Yes, if I had a reputation, I would stake it on it. 4 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:23,360 If we're quick we can save them all before Dick rises. 5 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:24,680 But we must hurry, come! 6 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,200 Sorry I took so... 7 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,480 Wait, Debbie! Wait...for...me! 8 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:31,720 Damn it! 9 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:33,440 They're all here. 10 00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:36,840 The missing ones! 11 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:41,240 Oh, my God! Come on! 12 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,240 Well, don't just stand there, help me! We need to get going. 13 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,360 Oh, yes? 14 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,080 Going anywhere nice? 15 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:56,240 Ha-ha-ha! 16 00:00:56,280 --> 00:01:00,040 Why are you doing this? Well, you said it yourself. 17 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,720 Bad...wig. 18 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:07,880 WIG CACKLES 19 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:09,880 Far, far ago, 20 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:12,560 the ancients wrote upon the scrolls 21 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:15,720 that dark forces would sweep our realm, 22 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,040 until only Yonderland remained. 23 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:20,800 But they telled also of a saviour, 24 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:25,800 come from a distant world to save us from the shadows. 25 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:27,880 Or so I'm told! 26 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:33,280 Parasite. For quillennia that word plagued my species, 27 00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:38,320 cast out and left to dry by a world that feared our powers, 28 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:42,200 while these blanks with their stupid bones 29 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:45,560 and opposable thumbs grew strong! 30 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,520 They're not blanks, they're people! 31 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:52,480 They are mere hosts for something greater, just like... 32 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,200 -Me. -Yes. 33 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:59,560 For years I searched for the perfect host, one long-forgotten, 34 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,200 but with powerful connections. 35 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:04,120 Dick! 36 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:07,120 Morning, Wood, time for my beating? 37 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:08,840 Imperatrix is dead. 38 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:10,200 You're free to go. 39 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:12,680 That's even better! I'll fetch my things. 40 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:17,680 'He was perfect. My time had come.' 41 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:20,840 Are you OK? 42 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:24,080 Yes. Yes! 43 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,360 I feel like a new man. 44 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:30,200 And slightly warmer. 45 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,440 And so began my rise to power! 46 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:36,400 Harnessing my cuddly influence. 47 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:40,000 It was easy to dupe the dull-witted populace, 48 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:43,360 hosts for a whole army of my loyal offspring. 49 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:47,280 A new generation of my blighted race. 50 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:50,000 Only one thing was missing... 51 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:54,600 The perfect host for my perfect bride - you! 52 00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:57,440 Your bride? Well, don't sound so surprised! 53 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:02,040 I'm a catch! I've got ambition, great hair... 54 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,720 Um... Well, that's about it, actually, 55 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:08,640 but that's enough for my backcombed beauty... 56 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:10,560 the Queen Beehive. 57 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:15,320 Dyeing... My roots need dyeing. 58 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,280 In time, my pretty. 59 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:21,040 But first... Let's give you a little body. 60 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,320 Time for your appointment! 61 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:24,360 Please, no! 62 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:26,960 SHE SCREAMS 63 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:31,200 Oh, and, Negatus, we would very much like to thank you for your loyalty. 64 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,560 Well, vouchers are always nice! 65 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,960 But, sadly, we cannot. 66 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,520 Say what now? 67 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:43,120 Did you think we didn't know of your treachery? 68 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,080 Uh-oh! 69 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:47,400 No, I... 70 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:49,520 changed my mind, I brought her to you... 71 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:51,840 Too little, too late, my friend. 72 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:57,200 You will be taken to the Marsh of Jodie to rot in its foul miasma. 73 00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:01,120 No, please! I have so much to give! Ooh, like what? 74 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,160 Um... 75 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,560 I was kind of hoping we could stay quite vague about that. 76 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,400 -Hmm. -You don't understand... 77 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,800 He's not who you think he is! Lord Cutts, 78 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:14,200 our friend here kindly led us to the Elders' hideout. 79 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:16,240 Perhaps you could go there and, um... 80 00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:17,880 Kill them all? 81 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:19,880 HE CHUCKLES 82 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,000 HE CACKLES 83 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,400 So... 84 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:27,320 My Queen. 85 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,440 My King. 86 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,000 HE CHUCKLES 87 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,720 SHE LAUGHS 88 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:35,480 WIG CACKLES 89 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:38,160 THEY CACKLE 90 00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:51,640 There. So, you see the problem? 91 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,240 Oh, yeah, that's nasty. 92 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:54,920 I'd get some help if I were you. 93 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,120 I already did! 94 00:04:58,120 --> 00:04:59,840 Debbie, no! 95 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:04,920 That's the Elders gone, Debbie gone, there's only one thing for it... 96 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:06,760 You know that thing we said we'd never do? 97 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,000 The thing in the bath? 98 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:09,960 No, the other thing. 99 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,080 -Come on. -Ah... Long journey ahead. 100 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,760 Isn't it obvious? 101 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,360 Cuddly Dick is going to kill Negatus unless we go and save him. 102 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:23,880 No way! His Darkness has abandoned us more times than I can count 103 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:26,120 and a lot more times than Jeff can count. 104 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,880 I can get to five now, but only if I miss out the one before three. 105 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:33,360 -Oh! -Please, Neil, I know there's a good creature inside of you. 106 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,400 OK, fine. 107 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,440 But that's cheating, because you saw me eat it. 108 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:39,760 Oh! 109 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:41,280 Come on, then. 110 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:43,320 PHONE RINGS 111 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:45,560 CACKLING Isn't laughing fun? 112 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:46,960 PHONE RINGS 113 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,840 Debs, it's me. 114 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:49,960 Look, what's going on? 115 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,320 I've got house contracts here still not signed. 116 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:53,920 They need to be in by 5pm 117 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:55,880 otherwise the Waters will pull out of the sale 118 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,760 and I really don't want to test the Waters. 119 00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:58,800 Thank you! 120 00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:02,720 Dad, I forgot, can you sign this for the museum trip? 121 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:04,440 Yes, sure. 122 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:05,720 Ben, have you got yours? 123 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,800 Mum signed mine. Oh, right, so she signed that?! 124 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:12,800 Have you still got it? 125 00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:15,560 Let me see? 126 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:25,680 Get your coats. Daddy's got to do something... 127 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:26,800 morally questionable. 128 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:33,480 Meanwhile, two brave travellers set off in search of salvation, 129 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,920 over the Mountains of Foe, 130 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,880 through the Forest of Wooo 131 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:42,120 and across the Swamp of Budget-Prohibitive Monsters... 132 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:43,920 ROARING 133 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,280 Aah, my ear! 134 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,440 ..finally reaching The Vaguelands, 135 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,280 home to those not wishing to be found. 136 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:53,480 Finally, I think this is the one. 137 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:57,680 You wait there. I'll try not to run off(!) 138 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:02,480 Anyone home? 139 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,480 No sign of him in there. You didn't look very hard. 140 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,560 Well, I was pretty thorough, but I can double-check 141 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:09,880 if it makes you feel any... 142 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,120 Well, I've checked the loft, 143 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,280 checked the garage and he's not in the stables... 144 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:14,920 Ha! He's still got it! 145 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:16,320 -What? -Right, 146 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:19,360 we know you're in there and we're not going anywhere 147 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:20,880 until you show yourself. 148 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:23,040 Oh, for the love of...! 149 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:24,400 I'm retired! 150 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,080 The Time Being! 151 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,200 Whatever it is, I can't help you. 152 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,760 We had an agreement, no more time travel outside of these walls, 153 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:33,960 not after last time. 154 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,280 Oh! Is this place bigger on the inside? 155 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,800 No, it's just open plan. 156 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,120 Oh! 157 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,040 Mm. Well, that's too wet. I'll make a cake. 158 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,440 Sorry it took so long, I burnt the first one... 159 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:47,760 Damn timers didn't go off! 160 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,160 CLOCK BELLS RING Aah! 161 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,640 Well, it's too late now! 162 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:54,240 Look, I know what we agreed, but this is important. 163 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,720 You know the chosen one, Debbie Maddox? 164 00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,640 We really need... HE SPEEDS UP TIME 165 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:05,800 ..took the Elders as well! 166 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,000 Yeah, sounds terrible, but there's nothing I can do. 167 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:11,280 If you meddle in the past, you mess up the future, it's a minefield. 168 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,560 But this is different. The present is already ruined. 169 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,240 He's right, even I can't maintain my usual cheery optimism(!) 170 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:21,080 Please, you have to undo this. 171 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,080 OK, fine, but on your heads be it. 172 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:26,320 Great! So, where to? 173 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,960 Well, when did it all go wrong? 174 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:39,280 So, you see the problem? 175 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:40,840 Oh, yeah, that's nasty. 176 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,520 I'd get some help if I were you. 177 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:43,680 I already did! 178 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,680 Debbie, no! 179 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:47,960 I came and got you. 180 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,480 OK, then what happened? 181 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:52,520 This did! You said to go back to when it went wrong. 182 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:54,040 Yeah, that does sound like me. 183 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:56,560 Terrible idea, we're far too late, she's already gone. 184 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:57,840 Let's go home and make a cake! 185 00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:01,240 Wait, no, if this is too late, we go back further. 186 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:04,320 Back to when? I mean, when does anything really begin, you know? 187 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:08,360 Easy, this all began with that bozo in the wig. 188 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:18,800 My friends, I will fix this, but for the moment you must run, run! 189 00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:25,360 This is it, the day Dick took the Elders' chamber. 190 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,680 OK. 191 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:29,200 Brothers and sisters, the time is now... 192 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,680 Oh! Job done! Him and the wig are asleep or dead or something 193 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,360 and Debbie never gets caught! Bully! 194 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,360 So, let's get back to the previous present. 195 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:40,680 You mean back to the future? 196 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:42,120 -Who's the time traveller here? -Uh. 197 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:52,520 And we're home! Now, in terms of expenses, do I invoice you or... 198 00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:54,840 Uh! Oh, no, down! What? 199 00:09:57,480 --> 00:10:01,600 The last of your rebel friends will be neutralised by nightfall. 200 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,760 Now to conquer your realm! 201 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:04,920 No-o-o-o! 202 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,880 Kill them all! 203 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,720 OK, it's not ideal, but could we live with it? 204 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:14,240 I-I think we could live with it. 205 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,160 Gods, we've made it worse! 206 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,120 Without Dick in charge, the Overlords have gone to war. 207 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,800 Yeah, they'll do that. 208 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,840 Luckily, I have a tried and tested way to undo a bad timeline. 209 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:25,080 Which is? 210 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,120 Brothers and sisters, the time is... 211 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:34,040 ..now! 212 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,640 Seriously, this is your solution - shovels? 213 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:38,760 Well, you can use rakes, but it gets very messy. 214 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:41,440 What unrealm are you lot...? Oh! 215 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:44,160 I resent being used for that. 216 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:45,320 Sorry. 217 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,520 Hey, me again. 218 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:49,920 It's done. 219 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:54,520 Contracts are signed, sealed and delivered to the solicitors. 220 00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:56,920 Maybe don't ask me how, hm... 221 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,720 SCOTTISH ACCENT: ..but Glasgow here we come! 222 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,000 I promise I won't do the accent when we're up there. 223 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:08,800 Hear that, kids? The adventure is on! 224 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,400 Well, don't be like that! 225 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,400 What's Birmingham got that Glasgow hasn't, eh? 226 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,880 Lailah. 227 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,640 Marcy. Petra. 228 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:20,840 Auntie Ruth. 229 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,400 She's not a real auntie, is she? 230 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,440 The pond we found notes in. 231 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,600 The treehouse. 232 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,560 Mr McNeil's dog. 233 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:30,920 Hamster Heaven. 234 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,440 Christmas Tree Corner. 235 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:34,120 Granny and Gramps. 236 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,480 I know. Look... 237 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:38,360 Sometimes... 238 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:40,600 ..grown-ups, 239 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,520 you know, they... 240 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,320 Ugh! It's moments like these 241 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:06,840 I really regret having you lot clipped! 242 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,720 It's OK! If Neil grabs the cage, 243 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,600 the momentum should snap the rope 244 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,720 and send you crashing to the far side. 245 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:15,480 But won't that hurt? 246 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:19,520 Not that I'm a coward, it's just, I've got this dodgy knee, you see, 247 00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:21,560 and... Don't worry, it'll be fine... 248 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,360 Yeah...as long as we get a clean launch. 249 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:29,680 -Jeff?Huh? -Cut the rope in five, four, three... 250 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,480 -One! -No! Argh! 251 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:33,760 Two, Jeffrey! 252 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:37,120 -What happened to two?! -Well, at least you've got company now. 253 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,040 Things could always be worse. 254 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:43,200 -Ah. Ah! -You just had to say it, didn't you? 255 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:51,720 But if we came here to stop us from changing things in the future, 256 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:54,880 then doesn't us coming here also change things? 257 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,600 Good question, I'll try not to get too scientific about it, 258 00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:00,240 but, basically, the way that time travel works is thus... 259 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,520 You have a timeline. 260 00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:03,000 Here's the past... Now... 261 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:07,800 ..of future events! 262 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:09,520 That all makes sense now. 263 00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:11,000 Excellent, and remind me to come back 264 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,640 and put a chalkboard here at some point. 265 00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:13,560 So, what now? 266 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,320 Cake? Do you want a cake? I could eat a cake. 267 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,480 Well, whacking Dick didn't work, so, 268 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:19,920 I guess we need to go further back in time. 269 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:23,360 Pick a moment when we can stop Debbie ever getting into this mess. 270 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,640 Well, when would that be? 271 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,160 Well... 272 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:31,480 Oh, it's beautiful here, Mr Havelock. 273 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,400 It seemed only fitting. 274 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,200 You see, Miss Fanshawe... 275 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:36,880 -Yeah? -Uh, Rachel... 276 00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:40,000 -Oh! -The thing is, I was rather wondering... 277 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:43,080 Yes?..if you would do me the honour... 278 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,120 Yes?..of... 279 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:45,920 -Yeah? -Of... 280 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:49,040 -Yes? -Sorry, coming through! Urgent business! Whoa! 281 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,280 Yeah, a little rough terrain there! Quick, there it is! 282 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:53,080 And you're sure this is it? 283 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,320 Yes, the first time Debbie came through. 284 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:58,040 If we stop this, she never came to Yonderland. 285 00:13:58,080 --> 00:13:59,200 She's safe. 286 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,320 Huh? What unrealm? 287 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,360 I thought you went through to get what's-her-face? 288 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:06,720 Uh! He's right! 289 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,440 Past me is still in Debbie's world. 290 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:12,280 If we close the portal, that means I never come back, which means... 291 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:16,360 Oh, for the love of... 292 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:19,280 Sorry, past me, that timeline didn't work out, yeah. 293 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:20,520 What's going on? 294 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:21,880 Nothing, just a nightmare. 295 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:22,920 Probably woodworm! 296 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:33,200 ..never came to Yonderland. She's safe. 297 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,480 -Oh, don't! -Huh? That does not end well for you. 298 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,320 No, we need to go back further. 299 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:41,000 We find Nick as a sapling, start a small fire... 300 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,840 No, we need a new plan! 301 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:45,680 Just going further and further back in time is not working! 302 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,000 Well, don't shout at me, I told you this wouldn't work! 303 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,440 If you're Professor Doctor Time Travel Expert Man all of a sudden, 304 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,000 what's your big plan, little fella?! 305 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,920 I don't know! I don't come up with the plans, that's Debbie's... 306 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,680 Uh! That's it! 307 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:00,440 Debbie will know the answer. Let's pick a time and ask her. 308 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:03,400 No! You can't get someone to solve a problem in their own future, 309 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:04,840 the universe will implode! 310 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:07,200 Or they'll get slightly confused, it's one or the other. 311 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,680 It's OK. I think there is a way. 312 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,160 Oh, come on! 313 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,840 Woodworm! 314 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,040 Oh! Lose some weight! 315 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,560 What happened? Where am I? 316 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:28,280 Well, you know the New Forest? 317 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:31,440 -Yeah? -Wow! Did I really used to look like that? 318 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,240 I mean, that hair! 319 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,720 I don't know, I think a lot of people preferred it. 320 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,560 So, where to? 321 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,920 The Imperatrix has already won! 322 00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:48,120 PUNK MUSIC PLAYS, EVERYBODY SCREAMS 323 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:52,320 'And that was Ram Raid by The Kiss Pistols.' 324 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:53,840 So that music's not in my head? 325 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,800 'You're listening to DJ Chaos on Panic FM - smashing hits,' 326 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,120 while you smash windows. 327 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,160 Hey! 328 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,480 Follow me. I think I've got a lead. 329 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:08,160 Right, here they come. 330 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,560 You distract old me and you so I can talk to her. 331 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,400 This is weird in so many ways. 332 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:16,480 Hello, gorgeous. 333 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:20,520 Come here often? Huh? 334 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,680 Give me a minute here. All right, be quick. 335 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:30,040 So, panic in the streets, eh? 336 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:31,840 Quite the pickle. So, what you thinking? 337 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:34,640 Well, if I can find the DJ, then I can use his broadcast to... 338 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,480 Yeah, yeah, but generally speaking, with problem-solving, 339 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,480 -what's the big secret? -Um, there is no big secret, you just... 340 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,280 A bit of thought, really, goes a long way. 341 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:43,960 -Like less is more. -Uh! 342 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,960 Less is more! That's it! 343 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,000 Well, what's what?! Oh, nothing, just... 344 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,960 -Back to work! -Yeah. 345 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:53,280 Uh, pretty face, but not much of a kisser. 346 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:54,880 Good work, sweetheart. 347 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,040 -Oh! -We're thinking too big. 348 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,200 Really? We just put make-up on a stick. 349 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:01,600 With the time travel! The further back we go, 350 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,520 the more our meddling snowballs. 351 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:04,640 You mean...?Yeah. 352 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:08,120 -What do you mean? -I'm saying we should go back 353 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:11,000 by the smallest amount, change one LITTLE thing. 354 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:14,360 -Is that it? -I feel I made quite a big sacrifice for that. 355 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,800 Hang on, what's the little thing? 356 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:18,640 < Riot sale! 357 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,040 Get your Debbie wigs! 358 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:22,480 Hm. 359 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,600 I've found them, the missing ones. 360 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:30,880 -And you're sure? -Yes, if I had a reputation, I would stake it on it. 361 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:33,840 If we're quick we can save them all before Dick rises. 362 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:36,040 But we must hurry, come! 363 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,080 Come on! 364 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,120 Sorry I took so... Wait, Debbie! 365 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,160 Wait...for...me. 366 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:44,720 Damn it! 367 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:45,920 Why are you doing this? 368 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,600 Well, you said it yourself... 369 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,880 Bad...wig. 370 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:55,240 WIG CACKLES 371 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,080 -Elf! -What the...? 372 00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:02,600 Oh! 373 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,880 Who the hell is...?The Time Being. The shovels are my idea. 374 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,720 Debbie, I'll explain in a sec. Don't worry, I'm... 375 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:11,480 just going to change one little... 376 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:14,560 -thing! -What are you doing, you fool?! 377 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:16,520 Oh! 378 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,600 Oh, dear. Oh! 379 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,160 Good lord, I feel... 380 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,920 I feel more like my old self. 381 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:24,200 A bit colder, though. 382 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:25,640 Good. Welcome back. 383 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:29,520 Now, put this on your head and say exactly what I tell you to - 384 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,640 the future of the realm depends on it. 385 00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,280 My lord... 386 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,480 Um, Debbie's escaping... That way! Quick! 387 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,920 Uh... 388 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,880 Ah, the old Scooby-Doo! 389 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:47,080 Not a sentence. 390 00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:49,400 We did it! We actually did it! 391 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,840 He's right! We're back in the now! 392 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,520 And with no repercussions of... 393 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,320 Oh, actually, what do we do about spiky head? 394 00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:59,720 We could stick to the Wig's plan and let him rot! 395 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,520 -I don't want to die! -No. 396 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,240 If we do that, then we're as bad as that thing. 397 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:06,720 It's OK, I know what to do with him. 398 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:08,720 There's more than one way to turn back the clock. 399 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:10,960 What about the Elders? 400 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,280 Well, if the Overlords are locked up now, then I guess they never... 401 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,800 More tea, anyone? 402 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:19,000 Now then, did we decide about lockers? 403 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:22,040 Hang on. If none of the bad stuff happened, 404 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,000 then I never would have come and found you, which means we... 405 00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:29,560 Elf? Elf! 406 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,120 All right, don't shout! 407 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:35,320 You're the one who shut the flipping door in the first place! 408 00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:37,120 Ooh! What's happened here? 409 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,440 You're the best friend I ever had. 410 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,360 OK. 411 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:55,120 Friends, it seems that under the spell of some foul follicles 412 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,560 I was less than cuddly towards you, 413 00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:01,000 and for that, I offer you my sincerest apologies. 414 00:20:01,040 --> 00:20:06,240 You owe your thanks to a humble elf, but above all, 415 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,560 to the sage advice of... 416 00:20:08,600 --> 00:20:09,920 ALL: The Chosen One! 417 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,440 Oh, get off it! 418 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:15,920 We are most grateful to past you and alternative him for saving us 419 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:20,160 from those awful things, which now never happened. 420 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:23,160 -Am I drunk? -And I've made a card for the Time Being 421 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:26,920 to express our gratitude for his theoretical assistance. 422 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,280 I'm not sure that reads how you think it does. 423 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:33,480 Well, the important thing is that we have our lovely Dick back 424 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,240 and all the complications are dealt with. 425 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,840 Oh, my God! 426 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:42,640 Peter sold the house. 427 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,360 THEY GASP 428 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,600 Oh, you're back. Yeah, I'm back. 429 00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:08,080 Look, Debs... 430 00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:09,600 I'm only thinking of the family. 431 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:12,360 It's just, you know, all our memories are here 432 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,600 and the kids don't really want to go. 433 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,440 And then there's my mum and dad... 434 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,600 What are you saying? Well, didn't you get my text? 435 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,560 I went back to the solicitors... 436 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,320 Well, I can't go, Debs. 437 00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:25,800 You know, I can't go to Glasgow. 438 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,520 Oh, God, do you hate me? 439 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:32,480 No! No, I love you, you massive tit! 440 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,840 I just think we would have regretted it, you know? 441 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,840 And you can't turn back time. 442 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,680 Yeah. 443 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:39,720 Yeah, I've heard that. 444 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:49,480 Don't worry, Your Darkness, we'll visit every week! 445 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,120 What? For the whole three months? 446 00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:52,680 -Two, Jeff!Oh. -Two! 447 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:54,800 I can visit twice a week if you sign this form. 448 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,480 What the hell's a... 449 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:00,720 con-jug-al visit? 450 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:02,440 Oh, Gods! 451 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:08,360 Mmm! Oh, I have missed the shallow trappings of consumerism, 452 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:11,680 but I might still wipe with leaves for the time being. 453 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,400 I fail to see what he gets out of it. 454 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:18,360 But, well, each to their own. 455 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,600 I'm just so glad to be back to my old self again, 456 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,480 though I am thinking of looking into plugs. 457 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:27,240 Oh, do it! I've never looked back and it is a new age. 458 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:28,800 The chosen one's returned 459 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,280 and there's no more talk of this "Scot Land". 460 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:32,880 Oh, is that a real place? 461 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,560 I assumed it was some sort of weird fantasy thing. 462 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:41,880 You know, if there's one thing I've learned from this episode, 463 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:46,240 it's that even when death seems so close at hand, 464 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:48,920 if you have faith in your friends... 465 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:52,520 it may not truly...be the... 33890

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.