All language subtitles for Superstore (2015) - S06E01 - Essential (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Silence)

_

I just don't understand why
you have to move to California.

Because the job is with Zephra,

and Zephra's in California.

Okay, maybe I'm not following

because my whole face has gone numb

and I just hear my own blood.

Wait. Is Jonah going too?

I think I would have
gotten the heads up

if Jonah were leaving, and I didn't.

So he's not, so we can
just stop talking about it.

Actually, uh, yes. I am.

I'm going, so...

- Ahh.
- [Bleep], yeah!

Together, baby!

All you [bleep] haters can suck it!

So when do you become a soulless suit

and forget about the little guy?

No, it's not...

the whole job is being
a liaison to Cloud 9,

so I'm still gonna be
working with you guys.

And they're still
ironing out the details,

but it'll probably be soon.

Damn it!

Oh, not the California thing.
I already knew about that.

I actually knew before Jonah.
So, no big deal.

But Brian just texted.

We're supposed to be going to
the Aloha Thunder Indoor Waterpark

for a sex weekend,

but it turns out they're closing.

Seems like this coronavirus
deal is spreading.

Whoa! The NBA just announced

they're suspending the season.

- What?
- Wow.

More cases are popping up

in Oregon, Washington, New York...

You guys, Tom Hanks has it!

What? No!

What about Rita?

Does it say anything about Rita?

- Ahh...
- Damn.

And Zephra is adamant that we follow

the CDC recommendation
of washing your hands

for a full 20 seconds.

20 seconds?

That's, like, literally forever.

It's about the length
of two "Happy Birthdays."

So just sing that, and you'll be fine.

Yeah, but whose name do we insert?

I have a friend named Ty,
and I have a friend

named Alexandrina Geneviva.

Those are two wildly
different time frames.

Just say... the name Emma.

Oh, God. Is this your way of making us

sing "Happy Birthday" to Emma
because all of her friends

ditched her on her birthday this year?

No, that didn't happen.

Emma is very popular,

and she's dating a very cute
boy named Braydon.

Very cute.

I don't mean cute
like I think he's hot,

because I'm an adult
and that would be weird.

Whatever... just wash your hands!
There's a virus.

Hey, any update
on when you two lovebirds

are moving to Cali?

Well, um...

with all of this craziness,
they've pushed my start date.

So it's all a little up in the air.

Just like this virus.

Just kidding. It's not airborne.

Well, we don't know that.
It could be. Anyway.

Oh, my God.
Hey, everyone's overreacting.

I mean, no friggin' way

I'm missing out on
spring break this year.

Actually, the latest
articles are saying

that washing your hands isn't enough.

We should be wearing face coverings,

avoiding large groups.

Like, say, 50 plus employees

and an endless stream of customers?

That sounds like here.

Yeah, um... I'll call Zephra.

I'm sure they have
more guidelines for us.

But for now, they want
everybody to know

that, "We value our
employees' dedication."

"You are essential, and the true heroes

during this chaotic time."

Excuse me?

The SVP of Company Communications,

Sandy Sugarman, just called us heroes?

It's about damn time.

Yeah!

Are we still heroes if we
definitely wouldn't be here

if we didn't have to be?

I can keep this, right?

You don't care if I keep this, do ya?

What happened to the café?

Oh, um...

the governor shut
down all indoor dining.

Damn. This is my favorite restaurant.

Uh, are y... are you serious?

- Jonah, just let it go.
- No, no, no.

Today's restaurant landscape?

Have you tried Barrell and Sage?

If you give me your email address,

I can send you my list.

Let's go, sir. No lingering.

Just pick a conditioner
and keep moving.

Nope, nope. You're fine, sir.

Take all of the time you need.

Ah, he's just putting on a show.

We all know he's just
using it to masturbate.

Okay, Dina?

Our customers are already on edge.

They don't need us blowing whistles

and yelling at them about masturbation.

Hard disagree. You heard Sugarman.

We are essential.

Customers are like sheep
looking for guidance.

Without leaders, sheep
start to eat each other.

So, unless one of us leads,

this place is gonna be
littered in haggis

from here to Sunday.

All right, soft hands. Get goin'.

Sorry. Where's the bottled water?

Oh! That'll be in grocery.

Just down there and to your left.

- Thanks.
- Oh, come on.

I'm not a hero.

I'm not a hero!

I guess I'm kinda lucky

because now that all
concerts are shut down,

I don't have to throw that
huge, illegal music festival

for my birthday
that I charge people for.

I don't think I knew about that.

Oh, really? Tickets are still available.

You should check it out.

Hey, they still have some!

Oh, um, sir? If you just wanna wait,

we're gonna, um...

If you just give us one second...

We're gonna put it
out, so just be chill.

Attention shoppers.

We ask that you please not
physically wrestle things

from your fellow customers.

There's a highly
contractable virus out there

that our country
does not have a hold of.

Noall you are listening, huh?

All right. Enjoy the apocalypse.

Looks like the sheep
are starting to eat each other.

Do sheep eat each other?

Isn't that what haggis is?

I don't know, Dina said something.

Hey, Mateo?

Did Zephra get back to me
about the guidelines?

Oh, yeah. They sent over a
very detailed, step-by-step...

JK,
they're drowning over there.

Very helpful. Thank you.

Sandra? What...

Okay, well, if they're
not gonna help us,

then we're gonna have to
figure this out ourselves.

Okay, listen up!

Everybody in single-file lines.

The only people grabbing
anything off the shelves

are the employees,

and once you receive your items,

please proceed to checkout.

Okay. Great.

We've got this under control.

Oh, yeah. Totally.

I mean, and this is
just temporary, so...

Totally!

I mean, couple weeks,
we'll be back to normal.

_

So, whenever at all
possible, you must remain 6 feet apart.

Well, is it 6 feet from, like,

the center of our bodies

or from, like, where our bodies end?

Great question. Um...

I'm gonna say start
measuring from nips and tips.

Sorry, are the men measuring
from the nips or the tips?

I think women nips, men tips.

Yeah.

So... ooh.

Okay! Thank you, Dina.

So, first off, Marcus
tested positive for COVID

after attending a spring
break party on the lake.

So if any of you have been
hanging out with Marcus,

you should leave now.

Yeah, that's what I thought.
I just had to ask.

Okay, um, some good news.

Oh, my God. You're pregnant.

Jesus, Amy! Again?

- No!
- Is it Adam's?

- What? No!
- Why would it be Adam's?

It's usually Adam's.

I'm not pregnant.

I was going to say

Zephra finally sent over
the safety protocols.

Yay.

So, employees must wipe down

the register and credit card
machine after each customer

as well as every rolling cart,
door knob, bathroom door,

electronic device, and product.

Oh, okay. So everything the air touches.

Got it. Easy.

We're also required to wear masks.

Will they be providing us with masks?

Because I just have this one,

and I've been tonguing it like crazy.

Well, don't.

And, no, they're focused on

donating masks and
PPE to local hospitals.

So no extra protection?

I'm like a sitting duck
in customer service.

You have any idea how wet-lipped

the community is here?

- That's a good point.
- Very moist.

Guys, look. I know that this is hard.

But if anybody needs anything,

come to me and I
will do everything I can

to keep you safe.

Also, Zephra wants to reiterate

that Cloud 9 employees are the
true heroes of the Zephra family.

- Damn right!
- Oh, you got that right!

No, Glenn! 6 feet!

Oh, sorry.

We're limiting toilet paper
to one pack per household.

My kids have separate households.

There's, like,

no way that baby has its own household.

This is so unfair!

I know, there's never
any left for us to buy

- at the end of the shift.
- Bo and I have had to

start using newspaper.

The ink's starting to turn
our butts weird colors.

Which is cool, but
probably not healthy.

What if we...

set a pack aside
somewhere, out of sight,

then at the end of
the day, we split it?

Oh, man. We totally should.

And it's not like we're stealing.

We're still gonna pay for it.

- Of course.
- You know what?

Maybe we should also put aside
some Dinosaur mac and cheese.

Bo's really into science right now.

So, no returns on food,

clothing, or anything that looks open.

Oh, great, more reasons

for the wet-lips to yell at me.

Also, we're out of cleaning spray.

This is the only mask I could find.

- In the whole store?
- Yeah, I think we're sold out.

I mean, most of us are just improvising.

Sayid, I don't think
that's doing anything.

I know, but Nina and I got in a fight,

and she cut up all my masks.

- Damn.
- Okay.

Ahh. Here.

We'll just say that one was defected.

Feels like you could
have just untied it.

So what are you going to do
about everything else?

- You like leopard.
- Here you are.

Not technically gloves, but...

Found more! Here you go.

As long as it's over 60% alcohol,

it kills germs.

This is 95. Wow.

Is it even legal to sell this?

Here you go.
You right-handed, left-handed?

We should just send Justine home, right?

I can't handle a full afternoon
of her fake drunk voice.

"You guys
wanna see my boobs?"

"The only thing I like
more than beer...

is twins."

Maybe it is time for humanity
to wrap it up.

Sorry, man.

Looks like you're
going to have to keep it.

Next.

- We're not heroes.
- Doing our jobs.

Hey, you know, I was watching
the news last night,

waiting to record a blooper for my tape,

and they did this segment on
"Heroes in Your Neighborhood."

And it made me think...

we could be next.

Oh, wow.

I mean, can you imagine?

Someone banging a pot for us?

- Or a pan?
- Ohh.

Ah-choo!

Ow, that stings!

Isn't there a lighter setting?

Yeah, but we need to blast
this virus off ya, buddy.

Besides, I've had this
new nozzle for years,

and this is the first time
I've gotten to use it.

Are you hiding those until after close?

Sandra, you're
supposed to be on lookout!

He came from the direction
that I wasn't looking in.

I won't say anything
if you store these for me.

Ugh, okay.

Sisters are doing it for themselves!

Okay! We only need, like...

30 more masks.

Jesus, Mateo.

You don't have to cut out
their eyeballs first.

Oh, I know. I just like it.

That's your line.

Amy Sosa's office.

Hi, this is Dennis Long from Zephra.

That's my new boss.

Hi, Dennis? Hi, it's Amy.

- Hi, Amy here.
- Hey.

So we know you're still
managing your branch,

but we thought you could
hop on a Zoom call

to help ease you into your new position.

Oh, yeah! Of course.

- Sounds great.
- Amazing.

All right, I'll send you
the link and you can jump on.

Oh, oh. You mean, like, now?

Like, you want me to ease on in now?

- Um...
- Yeah, is that okay?

- Yeah, great.
- Perfect.

We'll see you in a sec.

Agh! Sorry, guys.

I mean, I should probably
get back to my office,

but I don't want to just
ditch you for the new job.

Amy, it's fine. It's just a call.

We'll finish the bear massacre.

Okay, thank you. But, like,

let me know if anything big happens.

Like, bigger than the global pandemic?

I mean, I just saw something
about murder hornets.

So who knows?

So, new break room,
_

AKA warehouse.
_

Mixing it up, keeping it fresh.

But properly distanced,
so don't move your chairs.

Whoo-hoo!

Yeah, fun! Ey?

It's all so much fun. I'm not scared.

Yeah! Come on, yeah!

Whoo-hoo! I like it, I like it. Okay.

Okay, we're going to keep
this meeting short today

because I have to jump on another call.

But look at what came today!

Safety supplies!

What is that?

Anti-looting procedures.

- Oh, wow.
- Come on.

Of course, you see
what we did wrong, guys?

If you wanted to be
protected by corporate,

you should have been merchandise.

Hey, if the protests
are gonna continue,

we need to protect
the store from looters.

Oh, come on. The looting is overblown.

99% of the protests have been peaceful.

I'm just saying.

I got into a Best Buy through a window.

There are also these signs to put up.

"Zephra believes
in the Black community"?

What are we, ghosts?

Yeah, we're not putting any of that up.

But if anybody asks, we put it all up.

Two kettlebells for Sarah,
almond milk for Preeti.

Janet asked for three cans of tuna,

but I think we should make it four.

It's the least we can do for
her these days because of...

you know.

Racism?

Wow. That is a lot of orders today.

Yeah, well, ever since
Sayid blabbed his mouth

to everyone about
it, they keep asking us

to hide things for them.

Okay, but big news of the day?

Just finished "Tiger
King" episode three.

Carol Baskin? Come on, what a trip!

Definitely killed her husband.

Let's get into it.

Yeah, sorry, that was,
like early pandemic.

No one really cares anymore.

I think we're all embarrassed
we cared in the first place.

Seriously? Ugh!

Stupid coronavirus.

I wish I never even went to the ICU.

Am I still freezing?

I think the Wi-Fi's better out here.

Hey, Elias coughed

so Heather locked him in a bathroom.

- Do you think...
- Yep, by the end of the week!

Got it.

- Another Zephra call?
- It's nonstop.

I mean, these tech companies
love their presentations.

I've never seen people so horny
for presentations.

- Hey, Amy, I dropped my mask...
- Justine, she's on...

In the toilet. I didn't pee
yet, but it's still toilet water.

- So is that okay?
- What? No, are you...

Yes, Dennis! I'm still here, hi.

Uh, Amy's on a call.
But if there's no pee...

Hey, Amy, about the
ventilation in my office?

Yes, of course, Mateo.

I promise you we'll talk
about it, I just...

Hey, Amy, can I...

Oh, my God, Corey! What?

I was gonna ask if I could
clock out early

to go to the "Black
Lives Matter" protest?

Um...

yes, I'm so sorry.

That... of course. You should.

Not should. I mean, like, you can.

If you want.
Anyone who wants to should.

You know?

Whatever you're... uh-huh!

Cindy, I'm gonna do that right now.

Ma'am, please.

But I have a medical condition!

Hey, what seems to be the problem here?

This man is harassing me,

telling me that I have to
wear that mask.

I am only trying to keep you safe.

Ma'am, listen. You
need to put on the mask,

or you will be escorted
out of the store.

This is America! Okay?

I have rights.

You guys are working
for Satan, aren't you?

- Oh, no.
- Huh? Yeah?

You're Satan workers!

- S-Satan?
- Here we go.

- Yeah.
- He is the one person

that I would never work for!

Attention shoppers,
we're sorry to announce

we are out of paper towels,
pasta, flour, and...

So just...

- Our stuff!
- Hands off, employees only!

I need that pasta sauce.
I have a medical condition!

No, ma'am. Stop!

I'm gonna chase you,
I'm just waiting for 6 feet.

What happened here?

Uh, if this is upsetting to you,

might I suggest you not look up
at the ceiling tonight?

Okay. Will do looking up tomorrow.

But, seriously, why didn't
anybody come get me?

Well, I tried, but you
were on another call.

I-I-I don't know how
to be good at this.

I mean, I told everybody to come to me

and I would take care of them,

but they have me on these calls
all day every day!

Yeah, well, it's too much, Amy.

They're spreading you too thin.

I mean, we barely even
see each other anymore.

Right, and I'm a terrible
girlfriend, too.

And an awful mother!

I mean, I see Dennis' kids
more than I see my own.

That's not what I meant. You're just...

You're in an impossible situation.

We all are.

And, I don't know,
something has to change.

Oh, my God.

You said you wouldn't look up!

Okay, so no morning meeting today.

I'm just gonna hand out
shift assignments

'cause Amy's on another Zephra call.

Not just any call. A big one.

With the CEO.

I forwarded her the link.

Oh! Really?

That's a big call. I didn't know that.

I didn't even see her
before she left this morning.

Seems like Amy's always
on a Zephra call these days.

She's drawn to that new young job.

Old Cloud 9 can't please
her the way we used to

with our creaky joints
and our floppy junk.

Okay, hey. Come on.

Amy might have abandoned us
a little, but we're fine!

You know, everything's fine.

In fact, in my panic dream last night,

the person clubbing me
to death was Topher Grace.

So...

little taste of Tinseltown for y'all.

And still, we've managed
to see a huge earning spike

from our Cloud 9 stores.

It really speaks to how well
things are handling things.

Great job, guys! Way to slay!

Okay, let's hear from marketing.

Oh, um. Hey, hi!

Hey, Kira. Hi, hey.

Amy Sosa here.

Um, actually, I just have
a little bit of a thing

to add to the Cloud 9 update?

Of course. What's up?

Um, so Cloud 9 isn't
actually doing so well.

I mean, sure, the sales are up,

but morale is way down.

Our employees aren't only scared,

but they're spending a lot of
their personal time and money

to protect themselves.

So maybe if Zephra sent over some PPE,

they could focus on doing their jobs

instead of worrying so much
about their own health and safety.

Sorry, Amy.

You froze after, "Cloud 9 isn't... "?

Um, I was just saying that

the employees need PPE

and maybe some of the earnings spike

can go towards them.

Well, yeah. When you put it
like that, that's a really good point.

You know what? Let's look into sending

masks and gloves to all our stores.

We gotta have your backs,
'cause you all have been slaying!

Yeah, wow! Great, that's great!

Thank you!

You know, it's just so good to know

that you're all really
taking care of your people.

Sorry, Amy. We lost you
again. What'd you say?

Uh, nothing. Never mind.

Marketing, you're up. Slay!

Harmonica wants to play Suck and Blow

at her birthday party, but I
just don't know if it's safe.

Kids are missing out
on so much right now.

- Yeah.
- Oh, the beer is for you guys.

Just a small thank you
for all you've been doing.

That's so nice!

We should all drink
together after work.

Totally.

Do you think that guy
can get us some Ketamine?

Glenn? What are you doing?

- Are you hiding back here?
- What? Ha! No.

I'm just...

counting the pots
on the shelves, you know.

To make sure that we have
enough and not too many.

Yeah, well, we need
your help back in the store.

Okay, look, I really
think the priorities

should be the pots right now.

Okay.

Yeah, you know, I've got to admit,

it's pretty nice back here.

It's kinda getting a
little scary in there.

I guess even us heroes
deserve a little break?

Yeah.

Well, I mean, if you're
scared, you could...

stay and count pots with me.

Sounds good.

To be clear, I didn't need a break.

I was pretending because you're scared.

Don't even think for a second

I don't know how
many pots are up there.

This is actually kinda nice.

It's been a long time
since I've been able

to get drunk at work.

We've been so busy.

And you guys are the only
other people I see

besides Jerry and Tony.

But sometimes I wake up
in the middle of the night

and I think I see my bus driver

lurking over our bed.

It's probably nothing.

Well, the one good thing about
being relentlessly exposed to this virus

is that we're all doing it together.

No one tell Justine we're here.

Hey, uh...

I know you're probably busy,

but a customer
just bought us some beer,

and we are celebrating.

Or numbing the pain.
I can't really tell which.

Well, I might actually have
some things to celebrate.

- Oh?
- First of all,

I think I got Zephra
to send us some PPE.

Whoa, that's awesome.

And, um... that was Dennis.

He said that the offices are reopening

and they're ready to fly me out.

- Shut up.
- I'm going to California.

Wha-we're going to California!

- We are going to California!
- This is incredible!

- Yeah!
- You finally get to have one job.

- Thank God.
- We can finally start our lives together.

- Yes.
- It's like, real!

- This is huge!
- So real!

- Ah!
- It's... big!

Synced and corrected by hawken45
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