Original subtitles

THE SPIDER'S FUNCTION

You could light a fire.

I could.

I said could you light a fire.

Stop pointing.

A liter.

Pick up the hundred for me too.

You only got the denomination wrong.

Don't worry, pinhead!

I won't do you any harm. Just you quit pointing.

It's raining.

Awful weather.

Yeah.

It destroys everything.

Look at this coat.

This used to be as soft as butter

and now... it's so dried out,

if I want to sit, I have to break it.

Look.

Here, at the abdomen, with the edge of your hand...

that's how I do it...

Flexibility, you know, that's what's missing...

Totally missing...

Then the wind... it can't keep that out either...

The whole thing's creased. The leather's crumbling.

You go here and there... can't sit in all the time...

and it gets soaked inside and outside...

Because the worst is not this

but the one in here.

You haven't heard of inside rains, of course.

You've been saying this for years.

They wash your organs night and day.

They come from the heart...

and wash the liver, the stomach, the spleen and the kidneys.

l am soaking wet...

lf it were not for this coat, l don't know what'd happen...

l don't even dare unbutton it.

A glass of wine would help.

Then there's the demand from the liver,

the stomach, the spleen and the kidneys.

They have to work all the time.

Without a break.

Then this constant drenching would turn...

into sudden drying out.

Which can soon turn fatal.

Listen, give me a glass.

Schmidt and Kr�ner will be here soon,

they'll count what l'm supposed to get.

Fine.

Nice little wine.

Lets have another.

He's fallen asleep.

How much you think this one's supposed to eat?

lt doesn't eat, it devours.

lt can eat half a pig at one go. Would you believe that?

l would.

This was very close.

lrimi�s and Petrina are coming toward the yard.

�They can't be. �lt's as true as l'm here.

The carter from the lumber�yard... was there...

two loaders...

the schoolmaster from school, the PE teacher...

the night barman from the station bar, and l sat there,

just sat there...

and couldn't believe my eyes.

There they were!

lrimi�s and Petrina, drinking rum and liqueur!

Then l waited till they drank up...

went up to them...

lrimi�s gave me a hug and... said...

Kelemen! How's it going?

Then he told me everything.

Then off they went.

l had to see Hochan, the butcher...

then l met young T�th...

who used to be my neighbor in P�stanya...

and he told me that lrimi�s and Petrina...

had been at the Steigerwalds'...

and mentioned gunpowder...

The Steigerwald kids were talking about it in the street.

And when l was on my way... back

and left the road...

at the Elek crossroad...

l caught sight of them.

And then l understood...

what, which way, and why...

lrimi�s! Petrina!

l'll bar them, drunken pigs!

l'll turn the lights off and nail the door up.

lrimi�s and Petrina! They can't take what is mine.

Mine! Everything here is mine! Mine!

lrimi�s! Petrina! Everything is mine! Mine!

Petrina!

Then l went up to them,

lrimi�s hugged me and says warmly:

"Kelemen! How's it going?"

And right away he got a round.

The waitresses smiled and jumped to it like grasshoppers.

And then he told me everything.

So tell me, have you learnt the lesson?

What lesson?

Leave me alone. l've learnt it all.

You've never learnt anything, you just keep drinking.

l've learnt it all, you old witch, you.

l want no one meddling in my business.

ln your books though...

this resurrection is written...

�Don't give me that nonsense. �But you just go on boozing.

Boozing, sure l'm boozing.

Listen here, you old witch, l came here to booze!

l'm no rosebud on your spotted ass.

You know what's waiting for the like of you?

No one happens to be waiting for me.

The blackest fire of hell.

You may have seen a black fucking ass, but not a black fire,

so fuck the black ass and the fire and go to fuckin' hell. That's it.

You think they'll stand this for ever up there?

No.

Think they sit up there and just ignore this Sodom and Gomorrah?

That's exactly it.

There'll be weeping and mourning, as the prophet says.

No Creation. Spritzer! Creation is a spritzer.

�None of your business. �He's always like that, sorry.

A hell of a witch. Old cobwebbed cunt.

You'd better read this.

Leave the poor thing alone.

Get him a spritzer instead.

Spritzer withdrawal is a kind of murder.

Don't read Genesis, pinhead...

That's a mystery.

...read the Apocalypse.

You know what we're all waiting for?

For you to go to hell.

But there's no use waiting, doesn't matter if you go away...

doesn't matter we don't see you and can't hear you...

you leave your stench behind.

lt lasts forever.

lt's no use opening a window and airing the room...

it remains.

Mrs. Schmidt.

Halics can't imagine what happened to your husband...

You see, this lousy weather.

What can l get you?

�Some cherry p�linka? �Don't know.

A small one.

�Did you hear that? �lt must be them.

Must be.

They'll be here before morning.

They'll be here by midnight. Takes three hours to get here...

�lt's not three hours. �Why isn't it three hours?

Because it takes much longer.

Won't be any arrivals before the morning.

Why the morning?

lf the three hours took me three hours, the three hours

will take them four hours.

Then it'll be by midnight.

By morning, that road's all potholes and ruts.

They'll go round the potholes. They'll avoid the ruts.

They won't go to the potholes, or the ruts

you're right,

so they won't be here by midnight, but by morning.

By morning if they use the road. l come from here.

They can only come by that road, they'll only walk on that,

�they care about their shoes. �Their shoes?

Yes. That road takes such a turn...

�lt's soaking. �...like they had the sea to go round.

Their shoes. Never mind them.

They'll be here by midnight.

They weren't soaking wet. The road goes by the fire.

Have you been here? Are you from here? Have you been there?

l saw them, l plodded along and l came this way.

l saw them and they'll be here by midnight.

They come by the road and won't be here before the morning.

�Don't give me that. �They can only come by the road

and that takes a turn like they had the sea to go round.

Don't give me that, l'm from here.

What's wrong with this fucking' stove?

This is a pub, not a waiting room.

�What time is it? �Eleven...

the latest... eleven or twelve.

Who's taken my wine?

You've spilt it.

�You're a liar, pinhead. �You have spilt it.

Then get me another one.

What's the smell?

There wasn't any a minute ago.

Just the spiders...

or the coke...

No.

lt's the earth.

COMES UNSTlTCHED

Come on.

Give me the money.

See, with the knot upwards...

Are you sure the moneystalk starts sprouting in four days?

Sure. But only if you give it enough water every day.

�We're going to be rich? �Sure.

�The others'll envy us? �Of course.

�l can stay in the best room that night? �Yes.

Here, take that home.

Hi... Come on in.

What's up?

Where're you supposed to sit? Stay right there.

Behave yourself.

You've made a mess in you pants.

How do you have the nerve?

l can do whatever l want to you.

l'm stronger than you are.

Come on now.

Come on.

You're dead! l won't feel sorry for you.

So come on, then. Come on.

See you soon.

Sanyi!

Sanyi, come here! The moneystalk's been robbed.

�Oh, come on. �The money's been stolen, too.

lt wasn't stolen, l needed it. lt was for me anyway.

�lt was my money, too. �Oh, go away.

�Why? Did you know? �Get your hands off me!

Go away now. l said go away!

l won't say it again.

Come back here. l said, come back!

l said, come here!

Come on, move!

Rat�poison. You stole it, didn't you?

You stole it.

And you have the whole house exterminated, right?

Now, here, but be careful, l'll have my eye on you.

And now clear off.

l said, clear off.

�Doctor! �What do you want?

�Doctor! �What do you want?

�Doctor! �Let me go. Little brat!

Fucking hell!

What the hell do you want?

Come on, tell me.

What're you doing?

Where are you going?

Stop.

l won't do you any harm.

Yes, she said to herself softly.

The angels see this and understand.

She felt serene and the trees, the road, the rain

and the night all breathed tranquility.

Everything that happens is good, she thought.

Everything was, eventually, simple.

She recalled the previous day

and, smiling, she realized how things are connected.

She felt that these events aren't connected by accident,

but there's an indescribably beautiful meaning bridging them.

And she knew she wasn't alone for all things and people,

her father upstairs, her mother, her brothers, the doctor,

the cat, these acacias, this muddy road, this sky,

this night down here depend on her,

just as she herself depends on everything.

She had no reason to be worried.

She knew well that her angels had set out for her.

THE SPlDER'S FUNCTlON ll (the devil's nipples, satantango)

l was plodding and plodding, just plodding along.

The Steigerwald kids and Hochan, the butcher, the girls,

as they jumped like grasshoppers when lrimi�s hugged me

and asked "How's it going, Kelemen?"

and bought a round and told me everything

and they were drinking rum and liqueur,

even then l was plodding and plodding

and plodding and plodding along.

They'll be here. They'll be here in the yard.

They'll be here. The T�th kid...

lrimi�s und Petrina...

and they've been to the Steigerwalds.

And as l was plodding along, when it became clear

they are leaving for the yard, then l knew everything.

lrimi�s and Petrina are coming toward the yard.

l met Hochan, the butcher and l bumped into the T�th kid.

And as l was plodding along...

for l had to plod,

and saw them by the road,

revelation...

which way... why... where to...

and the plodding, the why, the where to and the which way,

the T�th kid, the Steigerwald kids.

lrimi�s and Petrina

and the gunpowder at the Steigerwalds'.

And the Steigerwald kids talking of gunpowder,

and me plodding and plodding...

And the Steigerwald kids were talking of gunpowder.

And the Steigerwald kids...

But the T�th kid...

he was there... in the Weighbridge.

�Put some soda in it. �l've already put some in.

�And the Steigerwald kids... �A bottle of wine.

Gunpowder's not gun�powder. They were talking about gunpowder.

�Careful or it goes to your head. �No gun�powder, gunpowder.

l was plodding, plodding along...

Gunpowder's not gun�powder! Gunpowder! lt's no gun�powder!

He hugged me... The waitresses jumped like grasshoppers...

They were drinking rum and liqueur.

l know l shouldn't have any more for it all goes to my head.

You're offering it so invitingly.

Just goes straight to your head! You're pissed to the eyeballs.

As you plod along you learn everything.

Don't fucking give her another! Can't you see the state of her!

l shouldn't drink. When l do l keep thinking of coffins.

The T�th kid, the Steigerwalds and lrimi�s hugged me,

the girls jumped like grasshoppers,

and bought a round, drinking rum and liqueur...

and he told me everything and l'm plodding, plodding...

plodding, plodding, and plodding along...

but there's a huge difference between plodding and plodding.

l knew exactly when l saw them at the junction,

why, how which way, why and how...

l'm plodding, plodding ...and how am l plodding?

How am l plodding?

The gunpowder, the Steigerwalds, the T�th kid...

The whole street was talking, that they're hiding gunpowder.

Why did they do this? And why are they coming here?

l know why they're coming because l had a revelation...

This heat is unbearable. J�nos, please do something.

You don't begrudge the coal?

He's coming at the road junction. l know exactly why.

Why, why and why they're coming and why they're coming.

�lt's nice and warm in here... �You let him, dickhead?

What the hell you want? There's some at least for the others.

For l was plodding and plodding and plodding along...

They're coming and coming...

�This is no whore�house. �What then?

...coming and coming. They stop but they're coming!

Let's go to the mill.

They get here. ln some minutes.

�Where the hell are you going? �Nowhere, honey�pot, nowhere.

l'll show you who's honey�pot just you wait and get sober.

Nothing, nothing.

They're coming for l saw them by the road. At the junction.

Give me a shot.

The Steigerwald kids talked about powder.

lrimi�s and Petrina are coming toward the yard.

Gunpowder, Steigerwald... and they're coming to the yard.

They're here in a short while.

We were plodding along...

My man's is a good man... but the alcohol, you know,

if it wasn't for that, he'd be so gentle...

He can be a blessed good man if he wants to.

He's a hard worker. You know that.

He can do the work of two.

Only this tiny mistake, that he has.

Who doesn't have one? Who?

They're coming, plodding. lrimi�s and Petrina...

Someone's coming.

l was plodding, plodding, plodding along.

They didn't talk much. lrimi�s and Petrina...

Good evening. A bottle of beer, please.

The girls jumped around like grasshoppers.

lrimi�s hugged me, how's it going, Kelemen.

And bought us a round.

The girls jumped around like grasshoppers...

And l was plodding, plodding and plodding along.

Have you seen my daughter?

�Which one? �The little one.

Estike.

She hasn't been here.

When they started toward the yard at the junction,

l've known everything.

lrimi�s and Petrina are coming toward the yard.

l met Hochan, the butcher and bumped into the T�th kid

�at the Weighing Bridge. �You know what happened?

A little trouble with Halics.

Now he doesn't even say "Hello", the shithead.

l saw them by the road.

Revelation...

Which way, why, where to...

and the plodding, the why and the where to, the which way...

l slept all day. l wake up in the evening: no one there.

The house is empty.

No Mari, no Juli, no Sanyika.

And plodding, plodding and plodding...

The Steigerwald kids were talking about gunpowder.

But that's all right, the little one wandered away somewhere.

lf she comes back she'll get it.

She'll come back.

She's not the wandering type.

She's really not.

...the gunpowder's no gun�powder...

Wandering in this rain all night long...

No wonder l must stay in bed for days.

The waitresses jumped like grasshoppers.

They were drinking rum and liqueur...

That's good for my stomach.

Do you want coffee?

Why? l'd be tossing and turning all night long.

Then what for?

Nothing.

ln a little while l was plodding and plodding...

The T�th kid, the Steigerwalds.. and lrimi�s hugged me...

The girls jumped like grasshoppers...

he bought us a round, they had rum and liqueur.

He told me everything and l'm plodding...

Well, good night.

lf you happen to see them,

tell them to hit the road home.

l can't be wandering around all night long.

Here's the bill.

...why, how, which way, why and how...

Plodding and plodding and plodding.

And how am l plodding?

The gunpowder, Hochan, the butcher, Steigerwald, T�th..

Everybody was talking about the Steigerwald kids

hiding gunpowder. Why?

And why are lrimi�s and Petrina coming toward the yard?

l know why they're coming.

Because l had a revelation. A revelation.

l know why they're coming. Because l had a revelation.

They're coming at the junction. l know exactly why.

They stop but they're coming.

Futaki, that stupid ass,

rolls in the mud like a pig,

then he goes out in the rain like a sheep that has gone astray.

You're out of your mind?

You know you're not supposed to get wrecked in here?

And without eating, too.

Wash your face.

Dry yourself.

Do you have anything to eat?

Milk chocolate...

or cheese rolls.

Give me two cheese rolls.

Bloody hell.

What can't be moved, they soil

and foul, everything.

l could spend my whole life following them with a cloth.

The legs of the table, the window, the stove... the crates.

The worst is that you can't see them do it.

lf l start to watch them,

they can feel it

and get out of sight.

That damn Swabian

did me in,

he never talked about spiders.

Nothing will come of nothing.

No.

The real threat comes from under the ground.

Suddenly

one's frightened by the silence;

doesn't move,

crouches down in the corner where he feels safe.

Chewing becomes pain, swallowing agony.

Then all slows down and finally...

comes the most terrible thing,

a standstill.

There's no way out.

Who can understand?

l could live till the end of time,

but l have to go down to that hell of dark mud...

But there's lrimi�s coming...

lrimi�s?

He's been drinking on the house for a fortnight

and he has the bloody nerve to come back here.

Because, okay, he said, plant onions everywhere.

And it succeeded.

Great ideas are always simple.

But it's a bit too much that afterward he says

l owe him everything.

And for a fortnight he's been boozing free.

And he has the nerve to come back to take what's mine.

Everything here is mine.

l have done everything here.

Do they think they can do anything here?

They come in off the street and say...

you can go!

There will be law and order here, my friend, in this country!

There will be order here one day! There will be order!

You see, here's Halics!

May l have a tango?

Dancing is my soft spot.

You're not like the others.

You need a settled, sober man,

not a Schmidt,

whose roughness

disagrees with your tender person.

Listen,

if those most excellent people

can occupy again the positions they deserve,

and l am schoolmaster again,

l would take you to the city...

Tango is my life. Tango, tango, tango...

My mother's the sea...

My father's the earth,

my name is tango... tango... tango...

My father's the sea...

Tango...

is my life, tango...

My father's the sea,

My mother's the earth...

Never mind.

ls my life...

Tango...

Tango!

Tango...

ls my life...

My mother's the sea and my father's the earth...

No sea, no land either...

Fuck you.

What have you done to the sea, to the land?

ls my life,

Tango...

Tango, tango...

My mother's the sea...

That was all.

And for the tender sound of an accordion

the spiders in the pub launched their last attack.

They sewed loose webs

on top of the glasses, the cups, the ashtrays,

around the legs of the tables and the chairs.

Then they bound them together with secret threads

so that in their hidden corners

they notice every little move and every little stir

until this almost invisible web is not damaged.

They sewed a web on the sleepers faces, their feet, their hands.

Then hurried back to their hiding�place,

waiting for an ethereal thread to move

to start it all again.

lNTERVAL