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1
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Previously on Californication...
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- Hey, I know you. Charlie Runkle.
- Daisy.
3
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,133
- That's actually my ride.
- You going to the set? I'll come with.
4
00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:13,429
Did you negotiate? Did you lay out clear
rules for what you will and will not do?
5
00:00:13,471 --> 00:00:15,723
- No.
- That's it! Big, stop the van!
6
00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:18,434
Get the fuck out!
You're going too, sweetheart.
7
00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:20,561
Let's go!
8
00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:26,275
Judas Priest, Hank. What are you up to?
9
00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:29,069
I was hoping you'd finally
make an honest woman of me.
10
00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:31,280
- So you're pregnant?
- Yeah. I am pregnant.
11
00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:33,949
I think what you're saying, Sonja,
12
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:37,286
that Hank could very well
be the father of the child, right?
13
00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:40,456
God, I'm sorry.
I didn't want it to come out like this.
14
00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:42,875
- I made a huge mistake.
- No.
15
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:45,586
Marrying Bill was definitely not the answer.
16
00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:47,004
Don't.
17
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,673
Neither is marrying you.
18
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,508
I...
19
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,512
I can't stay.
20
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,221
Hey.
21
00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:46,563
There you go.
That's probably enough.
22
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,732
Gorgeous, huh?
23
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:54,404
And now let's check on those onnies
that we've got going here. Yum, yum...
24
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,614
Hello!
25
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,159
You look like ass!
26
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:03,163
That's funny, cos I feel like ass!
27
00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:05,874
Ass that's been rid hard and put away wet.
28
00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:08,377
Drink.
29
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,674
Revitalise!
30
00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:20,722
- Jeez, that's full of vodka.
- Yeah.
31
00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:25,811
These onnies smell yummy!
32
00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:29,648
All right. Let's put some more in there.
Why not, right?
33
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,358
Everybody loves onions.
34
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,486
Tear, tear.
35
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:37,573
Sometimes these onions
are just too much for this little gal.
36
00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:39,491
Chloekins has a trick for everything.
37
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:41,577
Spesh, right?
38
00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:45,330
There's something about her. I want
to fuck her and punch her in the face, too.
39
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:47,291
It's weird.
40
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:51,628
You want to hate-fuck her.
No worries. We'll get her for you.
41
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,548
- Get who for me? Chloe Metz?
- I know people.
42
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:57,301
Yeah, I know people, too.
They're not magicians.
43
00:02:57,343 --> 00:03:00,179
Well, you don't know the right people.
44
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:03,557
You're in Ashby's world now.
Drink the fuck up!
45
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,894
Refresh yourself.
46
00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:09,146
Baking's easy
when you're Cooking With Chloe!
47
00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:03,742
- Yo.
- What are you doing here?
48
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:06,745
Come on.
Quit acting like you're not happy to see me.
49
00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:10,332
Hug back.
Shower the people you love with love.
50
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,876
We don't care what the mean girls think.
51
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,837
- Is something wrong?
- Why? It's Wednesday, 3pm,
52
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:19,466
close enough to the dot that I don't have
to apologise for leaving you stranded.
53
00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:22,427
It's Tuesday.
Mom picks me up on Tuesdays.
54
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,554
It is Wednesday.
55
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:28,141
- No, it's not.
- Really?
56
00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:32,562
Cos I've got a serious
hump-day vibe happening. You sure?
57
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:33,897
There's Mom.
58
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,776
- Shit.
- Hi.
59
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:41,029
Hi to you on this...
this is a beautiful weekday, isn't it?
60
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:43,365
- What are you doing here?
- I was in the neighbourhood,
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00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:46,576
so I thought I'd grab a few minutes
of father/daughter rapprochement
62
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,912
before you swoop by
to pick the little monster up.
63
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:52,874
- So... you think it's Wednesday.
- Come on.
64
00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:54,209
I plead the Fifth.
65
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,795
Vodka. I can smell it on you.
66
00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:59,589
You can't smell vodka.
That's the beauty of it.
67
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:02,801
- Are you staying at Lew Ashby's?
- For the time being, yes.
68
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,928
We haven't printed the announcements yet.
69
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,180
OK. Do you think that's such a great idea?
70
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:11,435
The road to Lew Ashby's house
is paved with goodish intentions.
71
00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:13,562
Thank you for asking. I'll be fine.
72
00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:15,772
Hey, why don't you take Becca home?
73
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:18,775
You guys haven't hung out in a while,
and you're here, so...
74
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:22,112
Well, Uzbekistan, you want
to while away an hour with your old man?
75
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:25,782
Grab some ice cream?
You down for some 31 flavours?
76
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,034
I'm not a child.
77
00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:29,411
Well, I am,
so I am desperately hoping
78
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:33,332
there's some "very berry"
something or other in my immediate future.
79
00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:36,376
- Into the chariot.
- That's great.
80
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:38,170
Have a good time, sweetie.
81
00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:42,049
- So, drive safe...
- This sucks.
82
00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:47,512
- Bye, Hank.
- Goodbye.
83
00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,681
Where have I heard that before?
84
00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:52,768
Oh, yeah. I remember.
85
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,275
This sucks.
86
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:05,072
Great minds think alike.
87
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:13,830
Hello. Hot Lips.
88
00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:18,919
No, I'm not a deep-voiced woman.
I'm just helping my wife out.
89
00:06:18,961 --> 00:06:21,088
That's right, the masturbating agent.
90
00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:23,215
Can I help you or what?
91
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:27,386
What, exactly, might that be?
92
00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:30,138
Ouch. Hold on.
I'm gonna have to ask.
93
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:33,016
Baby, do we do balls?
94
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:37,562
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Got ladies present.
95
00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:40,023
And no, sir, we don't do balls.
96
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,859
I'm sorry. We don't do balls.
97
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,073
Hey! Hey! It's Daisy!
98
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,117
Daisy, how you doing?
99
00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:52,327
I've been blackballed.
100
00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:56,373
Is that an interracial tea bag
kind of thing, or...
101
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,917
It's no one will fucking hire me!
102
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:03,171
Word got around what you did and now
everyone thinks I'm a troublemaker.
103
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,382
Porn people don't like troublemakers.
104
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:08,468
They want you to hit your mark,
suck your dick, then go.
105
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:12,180
Hey. It's gonna be OK.
Don't cry. Don't cry.
106
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:15,392
- We'll, you know...
- It may not look like much to you,
107
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:18,270
but I've worked really hard
to get where I am.
108
00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:19,729
You don't need to tell me. I saw.
109
00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:25,193
Jesus H, Runkle, you're supposed
to be helping out, not causing a ruckus.
110
00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:26,987
He ruined my career.
111
00:07:27,029 --> 00:07:29,364
He's good at that.
Usually, his own.
112
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,826
What? Don't be hatin'
cos I speak the truth.
113
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,661
You're supposed to support me.
114
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,664
And you're supposed to masturbate
in the privacy of your own home.
115
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,332
What are you, 14?
116
00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:42,377
You can't keep your hands
off your dick for like two minutes?
117
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,588
Come here, Daisy.
118
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,423
Buck up.
119
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,883
It's like I told Charlie,
120
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:52,304
you could either cry like a bitch
or smack a bitch.
121
00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:53,889
So smack a bitch.
122
00:07:53,931 --> 00:07:56,391
Don't you think I've been trying?
123
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:57,767
I know, mama.
124
00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,436
Look, this is on you.
125
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,272
Daisy's family and you fucked her shit up.
126
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,692
Marcy, it's really starting to burn now.
127
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:09,613
- OK. One second.
- Thank you.
128
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:14,201
It's like I'm deforesting
the friggin' rain forest back there.
129
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:17,829
I keep expecting tree monkeys
to leap out of her bush and attack me.
130
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,417
Fix this.
131
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:27,506
OK, do you smell that gorgeous aroma?
132
00:08:27,548 --> 00:08:30,008
That's what you're looking for.
133
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:33,595
Wait a minute. I know you.
It's on the tip of my tongue.
134
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:39,518
And funny!
You didn't tell me he was funny.
135
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:42,437
Chloe Metz.
How the heck are ya?
136
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,440
A hell of a lot more impressed with Lew
than I was a couple of hours ago.
137
00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:46,775
Why?
138
00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:49,611
Well, a few hours ago, you were this big.
And now you're...
139
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:52,697
- You're this big.
- Hey, watch it, pal!
140
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:56,201
I don't barf after every show
just to maintain a size four!
141
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,288
Chloe's assistant is pals
with Kenny's cousin.
142
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:02,040
Well, fuck buddies.
143
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:06,962
Let's just try to turn
the volume down a little bit.
144
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,674
It just doesn't stop with this guy, does it?
145
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:14,594
Lew told me your sad story.
It's like you're laughing through the pain.
146
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,180
You poor baby.
Come here.
147
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:21,977
Yeah, you take a taste of this.
Here. Try this.
148
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,854
- It's gorgeous!
- My God.
149
00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:26,982
Yeah!
150
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:29,401
Oh, look. I gotta take this.
151
00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:31,570
Play nice.
152
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:37,909
- He's a sweetheart.
- He's a prince among the non-princely.
153
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:39,828
So...
154
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:41,663
- Wanna fuck?
- Yes.
155
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,542
Stir my gravy!
156
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:49,629
Yeah, fuck me with your half-black cock.
157
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:51,881
Oh, yeah! Come on.
158
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,091
Get the chocolate!
159
00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:56,344
- The chocolate! Get it!
- Yeah, get the chocolate.
160
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:59,097
No, are you deaf?
Get the chocolate!
161
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:02,225
Yeah. Oh, pour it on me.
162
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:06,980
Come on. Slather it on me.
Make me your little cupcake.
163
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:10,817
Well, dig in!
164
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,614
Damn! That's damn good chocolate.
165
00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:18,074
Thanks. I made it myself.
166
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,452
None of that Hershey's crap for Chloe Metz.
167
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:25,332
Well, come on!
Breed me!
168
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,793
Yeah, make me your bitch!
169
00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:30,712
Fuck me like I'm Al-Qaeda!
170
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:33,048
Oh, yeah!
Yes!
171
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:35,216
Declaring Jihad on your pussy.
172
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:38,678
All right. What I can do to help?
173
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,180
You can be my agent.
174
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:45,435
Yeah, OK. You want me to fluff
your co-stars while I'm at it?
175
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,603
I'm serious.
176
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:50,607
If I had a big Hollywood guy like you
on my team, they would take me seriously.
177
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:54,819
Hey, I'm the fucktard who got you
kicked off the slam van in the first place.
178
00:10:54,862 --> 00:10:57,072
I don't think those guys
are too impressed with my shit.
179
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:58,615
Fuck the slam van.
180
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:02,494
I'm done with that gonzo shit.
I need to move up in the world.
181
00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:06,498
I need to work for the Vivids,
the Digital Playgrounds, Adam & Eve.
182
00:11:06,540 --> 00:11:09,459
- Is it hard to get those gigs?
- Fuck yeah, it's hard.
183
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,211
I've been busting my nuts for weeks
184
00:11:11,253 --> 00:11:13,672
trying to get a friggin' meeting
with Ronny Praeger.
185
00:11:13,714 --> 00:11:16,549
- He's like the Spielberg of porn.
- Never heard of him.
186
00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:21,471
You'd like Ronny's work, real artsy.
Dolly shots and crosscutting.
187
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,015
He's doing this adaptation of Chinatown.
188
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,351
Only Ronny's calling it Vaginatown,
189
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:29,145
cos it's not the water that runs L.A.
190
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:31,022
It's the vagina.
191
00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:34,609
And I would be perfect for the
sister/daughter.
192
00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:37,070
And I'd get to act.
I've always wanted to do that.
193
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,738
- Really?
- Yeah.
194
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:43,326
I don't see why emoting and getting stuffed
have to be mutually exclusive.
195
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,829
So, what's happened so far?
196
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:48,248
Did you ever get in touch
with this Ronny guy?
197
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:50,291
Fucker won't return my phone calls.
198
00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:52,794
I'll tell you what.
199
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:55,630
I'm gonna call Ronny Praeger,
see what I can do.
200
00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:58,341
- For real?
- It's what I do.
201
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,301
I get people impossible meetings.
202
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,095
That is so awesome.
203
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:06,266
And don't worry. I will blow you.
204
00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:08,309
Or did you want my pussy?
205
00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:11,604
You look like you'd want my pussy.
206
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,773
That won't be necessary.
207
00:12:13,816 --> 00:12:19,320
No, we're gonna keep this strictly business.
I do not want your pussy.
208
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:25,243
I could tell you're one of the good ones.
209
00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:38,298
Am I the magician or what?
210
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:40,925
Man, you're like fucking Doug Henning.
211
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:44,053
- Only not quite so macho.
- Yeah.
212
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:47,640
Where were you when I was 12, fucker?
Imagine the possibilities.
213
00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:52,228
Instead of whacking off to Farrah Fawcett,
I could have whacked off on her.
214
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,941
Feeling better?
You get the old lady out of your system?
215
00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:58,109
I don't know,
216
00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:01,488
but I discharged precious bodily fluids
all over your spare bedroom there.
217
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:05,408
Yeah, a little bit of hate-fucking,
always good for the soul.
218
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,076
Lew!
219
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:10,455
This man is gorgeous!
220
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,082
And this cock.
221
00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:15,627
God, it's gorgeous.
222
00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:19,214
You could wrap it up
and sell it at Whole Foods. Yeah.
223
00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:22,425
- OK, so, what's next?
- What do you mean, "next"?
224
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:27,138
Come on, fucker.
I got all night, and I'm ready for a little f-o-n.
225
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:30,683
- F-o-n?
- Yeah, "fun," but like a retard said it.
226
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:34,020
- You had to be there.
- Yet, sadly, I wasn't.
227
00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:37,524
Look, we're gonna have
to catch you another time, sweet Chloe,
228
00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:40,693
cos, like, I got to hit the Troubadour
and Hank's coming with.
229
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:43,446
The Troubadour.
I'm down with that.
230
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,865
No, it ain't gonna happen.
No tagalongs.
231
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:49,202
- Why not?
- Because the words left my mouth.
232
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,329
Do I look like I don't mean what I say?
233
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:59,087
You know, we'll just do it another time, OK?
234
00:13:59,129 --> 00:14:01,589
We'll catch you on the flip side.
But we'll do it.
235
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:04,425
OK. Yeah, good.
You've got my number, right?
236
00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:05,510
Well...
237
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:07,470
- Chris does.
- Kenny's cousin.
238
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,347
Kenny's... cousin has got the number.
239
00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:11,099
- All right. Cool.
- Cool?
240
00:14:11,141 --> 00:14:12,308
On that note...
241
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:15,478
Well...
So, who's gonna give me a ride?
242
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:18,231
Cos my B. F. F. Dropped me off.
243
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:21,150
Come on. It'll be fun, guys.
244
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:34,622
- I'm looking for Ronny Praeger.
- You found him, but I'm late.
245
00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:39,294
- Unless you're a money guy. Are you?
- No, I'm an agent. I'm her agent.
246
00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:41,588
Then I'm definitely late.
247
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,631
Hey, I called. You said you had time.
248
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:47,385
Right. You've got some bit of muff
that's gonna rock my world.
249
00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:49,554
Daisy.
250
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,850
She ain't right.
251
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,144
Well, hold on.
You barely looked at her.
252
00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:59,772
Listen.
Katherine is an innocent.
253
00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:01,691
She doesn't have defences.
254
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:07,030
This chick looks like she just
blew her landlord for rent. No offence.
255
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:09,824
None taken. I just did.
256
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:14,954
Anyway, I'm off to see Cassavetes. Sorry.
257
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:22,253
- Oh, well. We tried.
- What, are you kidding me?
258
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:24,839
I'm just getting started.
259
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:29,260
- It's up here on the left. Right there.
- Wow, that?
260
00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:31,179
Yeah.
261
00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:34,515
Your abode has
a very June Cleaver vibe to it.
262
00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:39,479
You want to say "hey" to the beave
one more time before I have to go?
263
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:42,357
Ordinarily,
but Lew here is on a very tight schedule.
264
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:45,860
We can't keep the hair bands waiting.
They're very excitable.
265
00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:47,695
You know, so...
266
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:51,240
It was real, Chloe Metz.
Real as in real.
267
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,743
- All right. Thanks.
- It was really real.
268
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:55,870
None of that, mister!
269
00:15:57,706 --> 00:15:59,666
- All righty!
- OK.
270
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:04,796
Hey, what are y'all doing tomorrow?
Or Friday.
271
00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:07,173
You know, either way.
We could hang.
272
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,675
I know you did it again!
273
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:10,468
Who the fuck is that?
274
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:13,221
- It's my stupid husband.
- You're married?
275
00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:16,432
- But that doesn't mean I can't still party!
- No, yes, it does.
276
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:19,686
What? No! Hey, come on! Come on!
Drive, bitch! Let's go!
277
00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:23,064
What? Where are you going?
278
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:26,192
Where are you going?
Come back! That's my wife!
279
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:28,152
You whore! Whore!
280
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:31,864
Where you been?
281
00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:34,450
Do I look like I shop at the friggin' Limited?
282
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:36,035
I had to borrow this crap.
283
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:38,538
This is not crap.
You look beautiful.
284
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:42,667
- I do?
- Yeah, actually, you do.
285
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:46,254
- Hey, Ronny.
- Fantastic. You followed me here.
286
00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:48,506
Yes. Yes, I did,
cos I'm a man on a mission.
287
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:50,842
You need to have another look
at Daisy here.
288
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:53,428
Don't kill my buzz.
I just toked on a Cassavetes joint.
289
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:56,097
I know how you feel.
I love Cassavetes.
290
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,641
- Sure, you do.
- It's why I got into the business.
291
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,435
Ben Gazzara,
Killing of a Chinese Bookie.
292
00:17:00,477 --> 00:17:02,687
- That scene in the car.
- Total darkness.
293
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:05,231
If I had to choose between
a blow job and Cassavetes,
294
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,942
- I would choose Cassavetes.
- I'd take the blow job.
295
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,987
So would I. But I'd be thinking
about Cassavetes while I got it.
296
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:15,241
See, that's why I left all this
Hollywood crap behind me. You know?
297
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:17,452
The shit they make is all about the surface.
298
00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:21,456
Porn is about the real.
299
00:17:21,498 --> 00:17:23,875
Vaginatown is gonna be my magnum opus.
300
00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:26,461
I want it to have the feel
of There Will Be Blood.
301
00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:29,297
You know? I'm really into period porn.
302
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,676
Not that kind of period porn, you know.
303
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:38,056
This is why you have to hire Daisy, man.
Look at this girl. She's Katherine.
304
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:41,642
Do you think she arrived in L.A.
All tarted up? She's from Long Island.
305
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:47,440
She ran away from home, pregnant at 16.
Sexually abused, am I right?
306
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:52,195
She came to L.A. Wanting to be an actress,
man, stars in her eyes, all that shit.
307
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,864
- And then you know what happened.
- She got crapped on.
308
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,116
Over and over again.
309
00:17:58,494 --> 00:18:00,620
Can you tap into that, Daisy?
310
00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:06,542
- I don't know.
- She can tap into that. You can.
311
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:11,756
It doesn't matter.
The movie's not gonna happen anyway.
312
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:14,509
- The financing just fell through.
- You're shitting me!
313
00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:16,260
I wish I was.
314
00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:18,346
The moneymen don't support my vision.
315
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:23,601
Which I don't understand.
The "wall of cocks" sequence alone...
316
00:18:24,144 --> 00:18:25,853
would have blown people's minds.
317
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:28,648
The "wall of cocks"...
318
00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:39,450
I got something for you.
How about I do both you guys?
319
00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:42,829
Right here.
What do you say?
320
00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:45,498
- Too shy for that.
- You're shy?
321
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:50,503
Then what about watching a little
girl-on-girl? What do you say, sugar?
322
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,672
Do you want me to slap the shit out of you?
323
00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:55,091
- Come here.
- What the fuck is wrong with you?
324
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:03,933
That's it! Out of the vehicle!
325
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,810
Yeah, get the fuck out.
326
00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:09,188
- What the hell are you doing?
- And you can't cook for shit!
327
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:12,859
That duck breast was drier
than the freakin' Mojave, you lunatic!
328
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:15,069
You want to know who the fuck
you're dealing with?
329
00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:17,321
Chloe Metz! Yeah. That's who.
330
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:20,825
Number two in households
on the goddamn Cooking Channel
331
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:23,870
in homes all across fucking America,
you motherfucker!
332
00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:25,580
- Chloe.
- Not you, Hank.
333
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:29,000
- Hey, hey...
- Is that how you treat a lady?
334
00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:35,715
What are you doing? You can't
dump her here in the middle of the night.
335
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:37,550
Yeah, she might rape somebody.
336
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:40,720
Stop the car.
337
00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:43,306
Seriously, Sam,
stop this penis-mobile this instant.
338
00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:44,891
- I'm gonna go back for her.
- Why?
339
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:47,476
Despite all evidence to the contrary,
I am a gentleman.
340
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:51,522
You just don't do that shit.
This is not Mötley Crüe: Behind The Music.
341
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:56,194
Whatever, dude.
Look, I got places to be.
342
00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:58,487
Give Sam a call, you need a lift back.
343
00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:03,284
But just you. That schizophrenic cooking
whore... Not getting back in the fucking car.
344
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:04,368
You.
345
00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:22,970
Hey, baby.
How'd it go? You rock her world?
346
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:25,389
It went good, it went good.
347
00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:28,476
Yeah, I...
I got Daisy the part.
348
00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:31,854
Hells, yeah!
You got Daisy the part.
349
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:34,106
Cos that's how Charlie Runkle rolls.
350
00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:36,776
There's a little hitch. It's just... a little one.
351
00:20:37,986 --> 00:20:40,071
I had... you know,
352
00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:43,741
I had... I had to...
invest 50 grand in his movie.
353
00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:48,788
55.
354
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:52,208
Or... All right, 60.
355
00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:54,919
I had... I had... I had to.
356
00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:58,547
I had to invest 100 grand in his movie.
357
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:03,469
Well, fuck my rusty sheriff's badge.
358
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:07,640
OK. I'll see you at home.
359
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:18,025
Things got a little crazy back there, huh?
360
00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:20,695
Just your average,
typical, everyday Wednesday.
361
00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:23,823
Tuesday.
362
00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:30,538
So, you have a significant other
of some kind?
363
00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:32,665
Once upon a time.
364
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:34,458
Ah...
365
00:21:34,501 --> 00:21:35,793
"Ah"?
366
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:42,133
Well, you screw like you're trying
to get something out of your system.
367
00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:45,594
Man, if you threw down like that all the time,
you'd be dead.
368
00:21:45,637 --> 00:21:47,638
Or have a very sore pee-pee.
369
00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:54,854
- Kids?
- What's with the 20 questions?
370
00:21:56,231 --> 00:21:58,065
- They were two questions.
- Right.
371
00:21:58,108 --> 00:21:59,984
- So?
- Daughter.
372
00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:04,864
It scares the shit out of me
to think that she might end up like you.
373
00:22:04,906 --> 00:22:07,366
I mean, no offence,
374
00:22:07,409 --> 00:22:12,913
but, you know, letting some guy order you
off the TV like you're Chinese take-out.
375
00:22:12,956 --> 00:22:15,666
Is that really what it's come to mean
to be a member of the fairer sex
376
00:22:15,709 --> 00:22:17,877
in the city of angels, circa 2008?
377
00:22:17,961 --> 00:22:21,172
For someone as accomplished as you?
378
00:22:21,214 --> 00:22:23,549
You're Chloe fuckin' Metz.
379
00:22:28,055 --> 00:22:30,264
Fuck if I know.
380
00:22:30,307 --> 00:22:33,267
I'm just glad my kid's a boy.
381
00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:37,772
All right.
That's a good-enough answer.
382
00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:43,152
I would never have guessed that
you just gave birth, either. You are...
383
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,863
How do I put this delicately?
384
00:22:45,906 --> 00:22:47,531
...tight for a new mom?
385
00:22:51,536 --> 00:22:52,703
You know what?
386
00:22:52,746 --> 00:22:55,539
I think that's the sweetest thing
anybody's ever said to me.
387
00:22:55,582 --> 00:22:58,000
I'm not just saying it.
You're like a newborn kitten.
388
00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:00,211
Fuckin' A right I am.
389
00:23:00,253 --> 00:23:03,297
Not that I've ever fucked a newborn kitten.
390
00:23:03,340 --> 00:23:07,593
- Well, I would hope not.
- I'm taking an imaginative leap.
391
00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:10,304
I kegel when I cook.
392
00:23:10,347 --> 00:23:13,391
OK, well, that's reason number 357
393
00:23:13,433 --> 00:23:16,435
to TiVo the shit
out of Cooking With Chloe.
394
00:23:20,065 --> 00:23:21,816
Well, there's Mario.
395
00:23:21,858 --> 00:23:25,528
- You gonna be all right?
- Yeah.
396
00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:28,739
- Yeah, he's a pussycat.
- I'd hate to see him when he gets mad.
397
00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:41,502
- Hey, baby.
- You OK?
398
00:23:46,633 --> 00:23:48,884
Mario, this is Hank.
399
00:23:49,761 --> 00:23:50,970
Paisan.
400
00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:53,097
You want a ride?
401
00:23:53,140 --> 00:23:57,560
No. No.
You and Mario go be together.
402
00:24:47,986 --> 00:24:51,030
- Hello?
- Hey.
403
00:24:51,072 --> 00:24:53,824
- Can I talk to her?
- She's out.
404
00:24:54,576 --> 00:24:56,452
- Don't say it.
- On a date.
405
00:24:56,495 --> 00:25:00,206
Shit. Kick a guy while he's down,
why don't you?
406
00:25:00,248 --> 00:25:01,957
It's OK.
It's just the movies.
407
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,126
I'm gonna go get her in a couple minutes.
408
00:25:04,711 --> 00:25:07,171
Well, just...
409
00:25:07,214 --> 00:25:09,465
You know, tell her to holler back.
410
00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:11,467
I will.
411
00:25:11,551 --> 00:25:14,595
Hey...
You know, I wish you'd seen her.
412
00:25:14,679 --> 00:25:17,389
She looked so cute.
She was really nervous.
413
00:25:17,432 --> 00:25:21,143
Yeah.
What shade of black did she go with?
414
00:25:21,186 --> 00:25:23,646
Oh, don't worry.
She looked beautiful.
415
00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:27,274
I'm sure she did.
She takes after her mother that way.
416
00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:30,736
Someone's sounding lonely tonight.
417
00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:31,946
Always.
418
00:25:33,990 --> 00:25:35,366
What are you up to?
419
00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:43,707
Nothing. Just... reading.
420
00:25:44,626 --> 00:25:46,335
Well, sleep tight.
421
00:25:47,295 --> 00:25:48,963
You too.
31098
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