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1
00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:03,252
Previously on Californication...
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I can't believe
you made me get a vasectomy.
3
00:00:05,922 --> 00:00:08,882
- What do you know about it?
- I know you fucked and punched him,
4
00:00:08,925 --> 00:00:10,759
set him up, stole his book.
5
00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:12,386
What are you gonna do about it, huh?
6
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:15,931
- You guys are officially back together?
- Until we fuck it up.
7
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:18,225
We're going to this party
up in Laurel Canyon.
8
00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:21,478
- My mama!
- What the fuck?
9
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:24,440
I leave you alone for two seconds!
You're not supposed to do that!
10
00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:26,650
- What are you doing?
- Assuming the posish.
11
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,402
I'll be right back.
12
00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:41,540
Dude, this fucking perv
just tried to mouth-rape me!
13
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:42,624
I accidentally went down on her.
14
00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:44,376
How do you accidentally
go down on someone?
15
00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:47,087
- Have you been drinking, sir?
- Hours ago.
16
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:48,380
Out of the car.
17
00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:50,883
You just mind your own fucking business!
18
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:53,969
No!
19
00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:14,531
Silent treatment?
20
00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:15,991
Yes.
21
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- How long?
- Hard to say.
22
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,955
Think we can skip the part
where I apologise profusely
23
00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:24,208
and tell you what a lame parental figure
I am?
24
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,918
No.
25
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:29,797
- I'm sorry.
- I know. Me too.
26
00:01:29,839 --> 00:01:31,757
Why are you sorry?
27
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,134
Because we're not bailing you out.
28
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,887
- You're shitting me.
- I shit you not.
29
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,140
Mom says you should use this time to think.
30
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,518
About what?
How much my balls ache?
31
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,228
What about Mom's heart?
32
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:46,522
Don't you think that aches a bit, too?
33
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:51,985
Touché, daughter.
34
00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:56,949
Check it out. You're on Defamer.
35
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:04,832
- That's a pretty good picture.
- I thought so.
36
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,925
- I'll work on her.
- OK.
37
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:18,762
In the meantime,
don't bend over for the soap.
38
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,442
- What's the occasion?
- Do we need an occasion?
39
00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:15,194
Life is good. Business is better.
40
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,946
Let's party while this bitch can still get wet.
41
00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:19,406
You guys are great together.
42
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:22,159
Baby, tonight we are kickin' it old-school.
43
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,870
Condoms, coke and lobster claws.
44
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,371
Meet me after work.
45
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I reserved our favourite room.
46
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:31,877
- Marce...
- Don't "Marce" me, short bus.
47
00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,671
Turn over. I got to get your tail.
48
00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:39,760
You sure you don't want me
to step outside?
49
00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:41,887
Please. I've had way grosser dudes
than you
50
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,765
staring into the business end
of my cooter all day long.
51
00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:47,142
- Porn!
- Thanks. Got it.
52
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:50,687
- How's that working for you?
- I don't know. I mean, I love it. I do.
53
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:53,982
But I'm just not getting
the kind of jobs I really want.
54
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:57,861
You got to be careful. One wrong move
and you end up the ass-licker.
55
00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,072
I'm loathe to ask.
56
00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:03,075
You're watching some porn
with two girls and a guy.
57
00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:04,701
One girl, she's clearly the star.
58
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:07,663
But the other one, she ends up
tonguing the dude's balloon knot
59
00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:10,207
while he fucks the shit
out of the leading lady.
60
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:14,336
That's what I'm afraid of.
Chocolate-starfish duty.
61
00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,964
Come on, you're far too pretty
for such things.
62
00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:18,715
- You really think so?
- I do.
63
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:21,343
You could cross over, go mainstream.
I've seen it happen.
64
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:22,719
Don't tell her that.
65
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:25,931
Don't fill her pretty little head
full of Hollywood bullshit.
66
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:28,225
She does what she does,
and she's good at it.
67
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,559
That's the secret.
68
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:32,896
You find your fucking niche,
and you stick to it.
69
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:36,275
Like me. I could branch out.
I could diversify.
70
00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:39,194
But, no, I wax hairy tacos.
71
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:42,531
Maybe I bleach an asshole or two.
That's my thing.
72
00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:45,158
One wrong move,
you end up the ass-licker.
73
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:48,578
Words to live by. Give me some.
74
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:52,958
Yeah, Charlie Runkle.
75
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:56,628
Yeah. No, he's not in a meeting.
He hates meetings. Come on.
76
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,588
Try his cell. No, don't hang up.
77
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:02,551
Listen, tell him Hank Moody called.
Tell him they set bail.
78
00:05:02,593 --> 00:05:04,386
Just...
79
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:09,141
One more. I'm trying to reach my agent.
Come on.
80
00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:12,144
Maybe you should think
about new representation, homey.
81
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,980
Everybody's a fucking comedian.
82
00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:25,115
What the fuck?
83
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,578
What?
84
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:31,621
You touched my ass.
85
00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:34,708
Not my thing, man. Trust me.
86
00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:42,174
My sweet, sexy ass, and you touched it.
87
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,344
Can't say I blame ya.
88
00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:47,554
What are you on? I want some.
89
00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:02,235
Now you're looking at it.
90
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,863
Not giving me a lot of choice in the matter,
are you?
91
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:06,990
Thing of beauty, ain't it?
92
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:10,077
This nice, white,
mick-kraut ass of mine.
93
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:13,163
There's no place like home.
There's no place like home.
94
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:17,626
Coming in on the gate!
95
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:34,976
You. I know you.
96
00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:36,978
Last night.
97
00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:39,773
The whole cunnilingus switcheroo incident.
98
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:42,401
- Right.
- Mouth rape.
99
00:06:43,027 --> 00:06:44,986
That chick, stone freak.
100
00:06:45,029 --> 00:06:46,780
I ended up banging these other two.
101
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,950
She flips out, calls the cops,
and cries "domestic abuse".
102
00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:53,703
I'm pretty sure I never laid a hand on her.
103
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,707
- Lew Ashby.
- Hank Moody.
104
00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:05,090
The writer?
105
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,843
- So, how's the script coming?
- Really good.
106
00:07:07,885 --> 00:07:11,012
I don't see what the big deal is.
Screenplays are easy.
107
00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:13,181
What's hard is adapting your own work.
108
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:15,600
Sure, sure. I would imagine.
109
00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:18,019
I bet you just look at those pages
sometimes
110
00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:21,481
and have no idea
where all that brilliance came from.
111
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:25,694
You know, as one of my agents, I would
think you'd be a whole lot nicer to me.
112
00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:28,155
- I would think so, too.
- You know what, ladies?
113
00:07:28,197 --> 00:07:31,324
Just don't gang-bang up on me, OK?
Please.
114
00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:34,536
Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you,
you sweaty, little perv?
115
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:37,372
I've got a meeting.
116
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,834
Good luck. Just be yourself.
117
00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:45,005
- A little cleavage is always good.
- Done... and done.
118
00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:47,174
Don't you have a school
to attend somewhere?
119
00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:50,510
If it's all the same to you,
I'd rather sit down with David Fincher.
120
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:53,263
Word of advice,
if he's about to come, just let him come.
121
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,640
Don't punch the poor guy in the face.
122
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:56,808
Dick.
123
00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:02,105
What's your problem?
124
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,733
- She's an important client.
- Not to me.
125
00:08:04,775 --> 00:08:06,401
Well, she is to me and the agency.
126
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:11,281
She is everything that's wrong with
Hollywood right now, much like yourself.
127
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,409
- How the mighty have fallen.
- What's that supposed to mean?
128
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:16,828
You've gone soft, Charlie.
129
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:19,748
You lost that killer instinct
I used to admire so much.
130
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:22,584
I see. You've been an agent now
for three whole months?
131
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:25,795
- You got it all figured out now?
- I love what I do. I know that much.
132
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:30,091
Blackmailing your way into a career
doesn't make you a good agent.
133
00:08:30,134 --> 00:08:32,135
No, just a successful one.
134
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,054
I'm sorry I ever spanked you.
135
00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:37,474
I'm not.
136
00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:41,728
I miss you, boss.
137
00:08:43,397 --> 00:08:45,899
I miss our little...
138
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,651
play dates.
139
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,080
Wrong move, Charlie.
140
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:03,416
Wow, you are just totally
bat-shit crazy now, aren't you?
141
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,462
A year from now...
142
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:11,758
when you're selling BMWs in the Valley,
remember this moment.
143
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:13,760
I've had enough of this, all right?
144
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,304
It's time I have a little chat
with our president.
145
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:20,308
He's had his share of psycho-hosebag
assistants. I think he's gonna have my back!
146
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:22,185
Don't go there, Charlie.
147
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:27,566
Instead, maybe it's time to think about
doing something different with your skill set.
148
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:28,817
What about producing?
149
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:32,362
The only thing I'd like to produce right now
is a fist up your ass.
150
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:35,031
Once upon a time,
I might have taken you up on that.
151
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,702
Good luck, boss.
152
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:46,501
You got a lot of fans
in the music business.
153
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:48,295
Yeah?
154
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:52,465
Your writing always had this
in-your-face, rock 'n' roll energy to it.
155
00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:55,844
Hunter S. Thompson
meets a lost Stooges album.
156
00:09:55,886 --> 00:09:59,139
God Hates Us All. That was your Gatsby.
157
00:09:59,223 --> 00:10:02,100
- What happened to you, man?
- What happened to me?
158
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:06,229
I came out here from New York
to fight the good fight.
159
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:09,441
- I lost. This fucking city happened to me.
- Please.
160
00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:13,236
All you haters can go fellate yourselves.
Always whining about L.A.,
161
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:17,240
and how New York is like a holy land.
Well, go the fuck... Move back there.
162
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:21,828
The sheer amount of talent in this town,
any given time, mind-boggling.
163
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,039
That caveman over there,
farting in his sleep,
164
00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:27,751
one of the greatest rock 'n' roll
guitar players of all time.
165
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:33,048
I got... I got this book deal.
166
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:36,926
They wanna write about
why everything I touch turns to gold,
167
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,720
platinum, zirconium, or some such shit.
168
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:42,390
FSG is trying to push
these dweeby Rolling Stone writers on me.
169
00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:45,685
You write it.
170
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:47,646
Be my Boswell.
171
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:51,691
Slow down there, charm school.
I don't put out on a first date.
172
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:55,320
I'm not trying to put it in your pail, buddy.
I got instincts about these things.
173
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:57,238
Yeah, but I'm one of the haters.
174
00:10:57,281 --> 00:11:00,241
I'm actually doing something about it.
I'm moving back to Mecca.
175
00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:01,826
Bullshit. You're not going anywhere.
176
00:11:01,869 --> 00:11:04,412
You took a swing at a cop.
You need a fuckin' lawyer.
177
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,539
- Ashby.
- A good lawyer is everything.
178
00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:07,707
I got a great one.
179
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:11,920
- Good hanging with you, Moody.
- Ashby.
180
00:11:11,962 --> 00:11:14,130
Get writing again. Peace.
181
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:17,926
Thank you.
182
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,604
OK, look, I know I'm supposed
to be like a sister here,
183
00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:32,482
but it's not like he did it on purpose.
184
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:37,696
Sonja, you slept with the father of my child
in my very own bed,
185
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,155
then you vomited all over it.
186
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:41,741
I would never accuse you of being a sister.
187
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:44,828
- You hooked me up with him, so...
- What the fuck was I thinking?
188
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:47,122
I'm sorry about the comforter.
189
00:11:47,164 --> 00:11:48,498
You ready?
190
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,833
For what?
191
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:51,793
My pitch.
192
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:54,713
What, are you peddling screenplays now,
or...
193
00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:56,339
Oh, God. No, no, no.
194
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:59,592
I think we should go into business together.
195
00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:01,761
I'm flattered, really.
196
00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:06,182
Thank you, but this is kind of a hard time
for me right now.
197
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:08,518
The house is on the market,
198
00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:11,938
- and I'm interviewing for jobs in New York.
- How would you feel...
199
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:14,941
about restoring
an original Lautner house with me?
200
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:18,194
- Don't fuck with me.
- I'm not.
201
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,739
I'm bidding on one tomorrow.
202
00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:23,241
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.
203
00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:26,411
I got some things to say to you.
204
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:29,205
Some of it ugly, some of it embarrassing,
but all of it true.
205
00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:31,958
I am not going down without a fight.
206
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:58,359
So, what?
207
00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:03,406
You gonna shit-can 15 years' experience
cos a guy messes up one time?
208
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,852
OK, that's it!
209
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:37,232
I'm ankling! Runkle is ankling!
210
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:49,994
OK, Becca, dinner.
211
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:54,499
What are you up to, young lady?
212
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,460
How long are you going
to let my father rot in jail?
213
00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:05,093
I know this is hard for you,
but your father has to understand
214
00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:07,762
that there are consequences
to his actions, OK?
215
00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:12,433
He can't just go around saying and doing
exactly what he wants at all times.
216
00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:14,811
I mean, you get that, right?
217
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,899
Hi.
218
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,694
- What's this?
- Galley proofs.
219
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:26,364
Before you humiliated my father
on his wedding night,
220
00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:29,909
you promised to read my book.
High time I collect, don't you think?
221
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:31,786
You're right. I did and I will.
222
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,288
I want to read it.
223
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:38,042
I think this one might be
a little too NC-17 for you, Juno.
224
00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:39,711
What are you talking about?
225
00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:42,881
If I've read all my father's books,
I'm sure I can handle yours.
226
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:47,677
Where is the esteemed author
this evening?
227
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,804
In the big house.
228
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,142
Jail. He's in jail.
229
00:14:54,768 --> 00:14:57,729
- No shit. What did he do?
- I'm not allowed to know.
230
00:14:57,771 --> 00:15:01,482
Because I don't want to turn you off men
for the rest of your life.
231
00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:02,775
What are we gonna do?
232
00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:05,320
Shouldn't we be calling Chico's Bail Bonds
or something?
233
00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:07,322
Mom thinks he needs time to think.
234
00:15:07,364 --> 00:15:08,781
He does need time.
235
00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:11,659
What if, while he's thinking,
some Cholo tosses his salad?
236
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:12,744
Mia...
237
00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:16,122
- What does that mean?
- Nothing good.
238
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:19,250
I got to say, I don't approve
of this course of action.
239
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:22,337
For all of his faults,
Hank's a lover, not a fighter.
240
00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:25,256
The man is far too pretty for jail, Mom.
241
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:27,634
What if he's someone's bitch right now?
242
00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:29,844
Instead of being yours.
243
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:33,765
That is not fair... or nice.
244
00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:35,558
He is who he is, Mom.
245
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:38,394
You knew that when you jumped
into the car with us.
246
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:42,315
If you're worried you made a mistake,
that's not his fault.
247
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:47,445
You have to love him for who he is,
not his potential.
248
00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:52,700
No, no, no, sweetie.
249
00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:58,998
Shit. Could you watch her?
250
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,042
Sure. Where you going?
251
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,835
To bail him out,
252
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:08,091
because that is
the infuriating magic of Hank.
253
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:11,427
You can never stay mad at him
for very long.
254
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:14,889
I'll be back... with the Hank.
255
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:22,855
Dude, you ate the wrong pussy.
That's all there is to it.
256
00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:25,441
That shit is fucked up.
257
00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:27,860
- Beyond fucked up.
- Fuck!
258
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,571
If I got caught munching the wrong rug,
259
00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:32,907
the warden would go
Lorena Bobbitt on my ass.
260
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:34,784
My sweet, sexy ass.
261
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,661
Moody, you're out of here.
262
00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:41,541
Gentlemen... Lady... It's been a slice.
263
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:43,501
Let's keep in touch.
264
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:48,840
You?
265
00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:52,760
- That's right, motherfucker.
- Why the fuck would you bail me out?
266
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,013
Why the fuck not?
267
00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:58,141
- That's mighty white of you.
- Hey, it's only money.
268
00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:00,309
Now you got to drink with me.
269
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:03,646
I hate to seem unappreciative,
but I got some girls back home
270
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:07,150
who deserve the full-court press on
this one, so I'm gonna have to pass.
271
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:10,528
Come on, one drink,
and then I'll drop you off. One.
272
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:13,364
Come on. Yes!
273
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,324
Silence is a "yes".
274
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,375
My balls.
275
00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:36,929
Take a whiff. Smell the history.
This was Led Zeppelin's table.
276
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:40,058
Jimmy fucking Page
used to get under-the-table oral
277
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:41,976
from Miss Pamela right here.
278
00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:44,937
I bet you could still scrape
some of his DNA off the floor.
279
00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:47,523
First album I ever bought
with my own money, Zeppelin II.
280
00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:49,776
You had good taste.
Mine was Captain & Tennille.
281
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:53,279
- I was a homo until I heard the hard stuff.
- Indeed.
282
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:56,908
- Want a blowjob?
- I don't know. It might ruin the friendship.
283
00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:58,951
Take your pick. I'll hook you up.
284
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:01,120
- Her? Her?
- No, I'm...
285
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:03,998
- Him?
- I'm good. I had a big breakfast.
286
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:09,462
- OK. You have a problem with blowjobs?
- Actually, I'm a big fan of the blowjob,
287
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:12,048
as long as she uses two hands
and doesn't meander too much.
288
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,675
I just have a woman at home
who might not appreciate
289
00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:16,886
somebody else's lips
wrapped around my monkey.
290
00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:19,806
I imagine she's still a little miffed
about the accidental muff dive?
291
00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:21,891
- You would imagine correctly.
- Right.
292
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,226
Any...
293
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,187
...tit-suckers?
294
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,314
Daughter. Rebecca.
295
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:31,109
She's magic. Plays guitar.
296
00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:33,319
Loves the heavy metal.
Worships Satan.
297
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:38,074
Aw, shucks, you got yourself
a little famn-damily, Moody,
298
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,701
which is why you should write
my fuckin' book,
299
00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:42,537
cos you need to provide for them.
300
00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:45,665
You know what?
What am I gonna write about?
301
00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:49,085
What, you were born a poor, black child,
and now you're an icon?
302
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,170
Everything you touch turns to gold?
303
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:53,297
No offence, but I need a bigger theme.
304
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:12,108
- Thanks, sweetheart.
- Any time.
305
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,110
- Job well done.
- Thank you.
306
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:19,657
Cool. Very cool.
307
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:23,286
Let's find ourselves a bigger theme.
308
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,542
Hang the fuckin' Pope!
309
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:31,711
You want some, Daddy?
310
00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:35,047
I got to tell you something, Marce.
311
00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:40,720
Marce? Marce!
I got to fuckin' tell you something, baby.
312
00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:42,930
What? What do you got to tell me?
313
00:19:47,227 --> 00:19:49,103
I love you.
314
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:52,565
Oh, I fuckin' love you, babe.
315
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,066
You want to fuck?
316
00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:56,277
You could choke me if you want.
317
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,445
Just a little.
318
00:19:58,322 --> 00:20:00,072
I don't know if I can do it anymore.
319
00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:03,117
That's cool. Take it easy, baby. Slow down.
320
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,702
I won't bogey any of yours.
321
00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:06,787
Not the blow! The job! Jesus Christ!
322
00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:09,248
You got to listen to me once in a while!
323
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:13,127
OK! But what the fuck
are you talking about?
324
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:16,547
You love your job.
You were born to be a 10-percenter.
325
00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:19,300
Babe, I got to get off the train.
It's fucking killing me.
326
00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:22,303
You know what? Maybe I need to produce.
327
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:25,723
Fuck that, you fucking ass-licker.
328
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,058
You're not creative.
329
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:30,478
You haven't had an original thought
since the day we met,
330
00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:32,230
which isn't a bad thing.
331
00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:33,522
You need to sell.
332
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:36,776
It is what you do,
and you do the shit out of it.
333
00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:41,530
But what if I couldn't? What if,
all of a sudden, I just fuckin' couldn't?
334
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:45,326
Like, if you ended up in a fuckin'
wheelchair, all tweaked and shit?
335
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:49,705
You're not fuckin' listening to me!
You never fuckin' listen to me!
336
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,795
I'm listening, baby. I'm right here.
337
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,514
What the fuck?
You're supposed to be taking me home.
338
00:21:06,556 --> 00:21:11,018
I just thought I'd give you
a little something to put in your book.
339
00:21:12,562 --> 00:21:13,896
We drove out here together
340
00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:17,358
in a beat-to-shit Mustang
that didn't go in reverse anymore.
341
00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:20,987
I was gonna be a guitar hero.
She was gonna design my stage clothes.
342
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:26,284
I ended up producing.
She ended up alone. All the time.
343
00:21:26,326 --> 00:21:29,120
She wanted the house.
344
00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:32,540
I wanted the freedom.
345
00:21:33,417 --> 00:21:35,293
Sure as fuck got it.
346
00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:37,753
Now I drink what I want,
347
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:40,506
snort what I want,
348
00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:41,716
fuck what I want.
349
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:46,470
All I want is her.
350
00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:53,144
- Let's go knock on her door.
- Fuck that.
351
00:21:54,187 --> 00:21:55,938
Not nearly drunk enough for that.
352
00:21:57,274 --> 00:21:58,983
- Thank you.
- For what?
353
00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:00,860
Reminding me to call my old lady.
354
00:22:00,902 --> 00:22:03,112
The one who didn't bail you out?
355
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:05,656
Probably what I dig most about her.
356
00:22:08,368 --> 00:22:09,535
Karen?
357
00:22:10,579 --> 00:22:12,038
Marcy?
358
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,582
What? Hold on a sec. What?
359
00:22:14,624 --> 00:22:16,459
Is somebody crying?
360
00:22:16,501 --> 00:22:20,171
Charlie's crying? What the...
You guys are fuckin' retarded.
361
00:22:29,264 --> 00:22:31,974
What's up, Cokey Smurf?
362
00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:34,643
He's saying shit about
not wanting to be an agent anymore.
363
00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:38,022
- I didn't know what to do.
- You did the right thing, half-pint.
364
00:22:38,940 --> 00:22:40,816
Hey, Runkle, open up!
365
00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:42,818
Charlie, come on, let me in.
366
00:22:42,861 --> 00:22:47,114
Charlie?
367
00:22:47,157 --> 00:22:48,657
Come on.
368
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,202
Charlie!
369
00:22:58,251 --> 00:23:00,503
What the fuck, Runkle?
370
00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:02,380
I got the axe today.
371
00:23:03,131 --> 00:23:04,673
You got fired?
372
00:23:04,716 --> 00:23:06,634
Why the fuck didn't you tell me?
373
00:23:06,676 --> 00:23:09,845
I tried! You weren't fucking listening!
374
00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:12,098
You never fucking
listen to me anymore!
375
00:23:12,140 --> 00:23:15,810
Right, right, right!
I never listen to you! Got it!
376
00:23:15,852 --> 00:23:16,977
- Asshole!
- Hold it!
377
00:23:17,020 --> 00:23:18,813
Scarface, you're not helping.
378
00:23:18,855 --> 00:23:20,773
Go elsewhere.
379
00:23:23,693 --> 00:23:26,278
OK, big boy. Lay it on me.
380
00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:34,036
Well, help yourself. Whatever.
381
00:23:43,046 --> 00:23:46,507
They shit-canned my ass,
which makes total sense.
382
00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:48,926
My heart wasn't in it anymore.
383
00:23:48,969 --> 00:23:51,887
Well... that and the masturbation videos.
384
00:23:53,557 --> 00:23:55,099
Do I even want to know?
385
00:23:55,142 --> 00:23:57,476
It's sobering, Hank.
386
00:23:57,519 --> 00:23:59,770
Seeing yourself make faces like that.
387
00:23:59,813 --> 00:24:01,105
I hear you.
388
00:24:01,148 --> 00:24:04,525
No man should ever have
to bear witness to his "oh" face.
389
00:24:04,568 --> 00:24:05,609
Word.
390
00:24:08,155 --> 00:24:10,239
Well, what's the worst that can happen?
391
00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:12,491
You never work again in this town?
392
00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:14,160
No! OK, look, no, no, sorry.
393
00:24:14,202 --> 00:24:15,411
Sorry, sorry.
394
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:18,706
Let's cross that bridge
when we inevitably come to it.
395
00:24:18,748 --> 00:24:24,378
OK? Look, but till then, it's me and you,
broheme. I'm with you through hill and dale,
396
00:24:24,421 --> 00:24:26,213
- through hell and back.
- That's nice.
397
00:24:26,256 --> 00:24:28,966
- I'm right behind you.
- But you don't bring in money.
398
00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:33,304
Well, it just so happens,
Lew Ashby is out there right now.
399
00:24:33,346 --> 00:24:35,473
Wants me to write his biography for him.
400
00:24:35,515 --> 00:24:40,519
Really? That's a big deal. They've been
trying to put a writer on that for a while now.
401
00:24:40,562 --> 00:24:42,855
You see that?
Things are looking up already.
402
00:24:42,898 --> 00:24:45,483
You done with your bath there, King Dong?
403
00:24:46,943 --> 00:24:48,194
Let's towel you off, big boy.
404
00:24:48,236 --> 00:24:50,696
What's with the bib, bub? Come on.
405
00:24:50,739 --> 00:24:52,156
I ate some crustaceans.
406
00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:54,950
You look like you crawled out of a dumpster
behind the Red Lobster,
407
00:24:54,993 --> 00:24:57,286
and you smell like a mermaid's ass crack.
408
00:25:50,757 --> 00:25:53,759
Any points for saying "I'm sorry"
in a Romance language?
409
00:25:53,802 --> 00:25:56,512
I don't know.
410
00:25:58,932 --> 00:26:02,142
I'll think about it next time
I'm going down on the wrong guy.
411
00:26:02,936 --> 00:26:05,187
Fair enough.
412
00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:07,856
As long he's thin, bent,
and uncircumcised.
413
00:26:07,899 --> 00:26:10,568
That's lovely.
414
00:26:14,948 --> 00:26:16,699
Come to bed.
415
00:26:36,052 --> 00:26:37,678
I'm sorry, baby.
416
00:26:39,014 --> 00:26:42,474
I know. Me too.
417
00:26:45,353 --> 00:26:47,980
I love you.
418
00:26:52,944 --> 00:26:54,987
I love you too.
419
00:26:57,741 --> 00:27:00,451
But what if that's not enough?
420
00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:08,500
This is not very good pillow talk.
421
00:27:08,543 --> 00:27:10,210
30867
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