All language subtitles for The.Real.Housewives.of.Beverly.Hills.S11E05.WEBRip.x264 - 4414 - m

There's so many layers
to this divorce.

It's so ****ing complicated.

It's very difficult
to explain.

Who's not here?

- Erika.
- But she's coming.

You know, I'm sure that
they were very shocked,

and that they were going
to have a lot of questions.

Nice to see you.
Take care.

You think she really filed?

Yes, she did.

I did not see it
ending this way.

I was going to hold
that man's hand till he died.

*THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS*
Season 11 Episode 05

Episode Title: "The Divided States of Erika"
Aired on: June 16, 2021.

Where's my red, white,
and blue napkins?

Oh, sh...
Oh, here they are.

Feeling very patriotic.

Honey, sorry we don't have
a bartender,

but I couldn't find anyone
in time.

I'll be the bartender.
I love being the bartender.

That was what I was trying
to tell you.

Yeah, no problem.

I make it a rule not
to discuss politics,

but this is one of the most

important elections
of our lifetime.

Do you think
I should put these in here?

- I feel like that's cute.
- Anything you do is cute.

- Oh, thank you.
- It's true!

We could have a female
vice president,

and as a mother
of four daughters,

for my children

to see the changes
that are happening in the world

is really important to me.
What are you going to wear?

I got army shorts,
and I got a denim blue shirt.

- You're not wearing that, no.
- I could not be more Americano.

That's great, but I want you
to be dressed nicer than this.

I'm joking.
I'm not going to go like this.

I told him dress patriotic.

So everybody coming over?

Garcelle's not coming.

She's home with her boys,
and Erika's not coming.

Erika sent a text saying

that she was going to be
filing for divorce from Tom.

Oh, my God.

- What is going on?
- Did you have any idea?

- No!
- No idea!

What the hell?

I was only shocked because we
were just in Tahoe together,

but when you sort of look
at their marriage from afar,

you're not really that shocked.

- Sutton's coming.
- How's Sutton with the house?

I have not actually spoken
with Dorit.

- Why?
- Well,

I mean,
have you talked to PK today?

Yeah.

Okay,
so they're coming, right?

Yeah, but he didn't tell me
anything.

What's happening with Dorit?

Ah, you look great.
You're green.

Struggling to see
what's patriotic about it,

but you look great.

Honey, it's the vision.

What do you mean
what's patriotic?

Patriotic doesn't have
to be red, white and blue.

It is patriotic
if you're Irish.

I don't know
if I told you this,

but, like,
you know I love Kyle.

- Yeah.
- But you know her and I

always have our little,
like, thing.

We were on our way home
on the airplane.

I was having a very intense
conversation with Crystal

over some things that happened
over the weekend,

then Kyle turns around
and literally

mid-sentence cuts me off.

I just chimed in literally
for the first time...

- Mm-hmm.
- And she bit my head off.

And then she of course
comes back.

So it got, like,
a little loud for a second,

and then I was just like,

"You know what?
I'm not doing this."

And I was so taken aback

that of course I started to cry.

And then she said like,
"Oh, you're crying now?"

If anyone else had chimed in,
anybody,

she would have not
said anything.

Why don't you give her a
little bit of her own medicine?

When she's talking,
interrupt her.

Just say,
"That's what it's like."

Make sure you let me know
so I can watch.

We're going to put the food
in the dining room.

Holy Toledo!
That's a beautiful bottle!

Isn't that gorgeous?

First race has called
for Trump and Biden

as polls close in Florida,

but they still
haven't said anything.

Okay.

How are you feeling about
seeing everybody tonight

after the weekend away?

As hard as it was coming home
and, like,

kind of decompressing,

I didn't spend much time
sort of analyzing it.

Right.

I just have never experienced
someone not be that nice to me.

- This is Crystal's coat.
- Oh, that's Crystal's coat?

And you know what
I'm going to go do?

Hang it up.

Uh-huh.

I just felt like my space
was violated a little bit.

- I did knock.
- It was so creepy and weird.

Because there's so much stress
about the election,

it's hard to imagine
that people would have

their own kind of
petty stuff going on.

Sure.

You have to hold my hand
'cause these shoes are not...

- I will.
- Stable.

All right. I think we...

Do we ring,
or do we just go in?

- Hello!
- Hi! Oh, my God.

- What a dress!
- Hi!

I love this,

but thank you
for dressing patriotic.

- Oh, do you feel it?
- How are you?

- I'm good. How are you?
- 'Cause Rob was like,

"I don't know
if we're patriotic enough."

No, I've got my red,
white and blue...

- There you go!
- Oh, look. Look at us!

Yay! We're all the same...

Exactly.
Nice to see you!

- You too!
- Nice to see you too.

- And my husband is looking...
- Can we start drinking?

Yes, please!

Thank you.

Come in!

- Mm, smells so good.
- You think this is her?

- Yes.
- Oh! Hello!

- Hello!
- Hi.

Muah.

- Hi, honey!
- Hi!

I haven't talked to you
since our trip.

- I know.
- Hi, sweetie.

I was telling Rob,
I was like,

"Oh, my God,
I hope Kathy's there."

- Kisses.
- Erika...

Only in Beverly Hills!
Very handsome!

- Hey, how are you?
- You look very festive!

Wore a jacket
that color too.

No way!
Rob?

- Rob.
- Nice to meet you, Rob.

Let's go outside.

- Let's do it.
- Should we get a cool glass?

Okay.
Yes, I...

- We might as well, right?
- Right.

- Hi.
- It's Dorit.

Hi, guys!

- Hi, Kathy.
- Hello!

- I'm so happy!
- How are you?

- Good to see you again.
- How are you?

- Good.
- It's like I just saw you...

English and Scottish.

I asked for
patriotic attire,

but I think Dorit
missed the memo.

This is her
preppy leprechaun look.

- Oh, that looks beautiful!
- Don't eat the flags.

That's what he said.

- No, no flags. Let's, no...
- Hey! Hello!

- How are you?
- Hi!

You're what? What'd you say?
You're what?

I'm good!

Oh, I thought you said
something else.

- No, no, no, I'm good.
- Hi, Kyle. How are you?

She pushed me to the side!

- Oh, my God! Hey.
- Hi!

Hi, guys. Nice to see you.

- How are you?
- I'm well.

Crystal and I
are being very polite.

I mean walking on very thin,
crystal ice with her.

- Hi!
- I'm Sutton Stracke.

- What's up?
- Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you too.
- What's your name?

- Rob.
- Rob. Nice to meet you.

- How are you?
- I'm good. How are you?

- I'm good.
- Yeah, good. Election night.

This is what
we've been waiting for.

- Right.
- Hello!

- Oh!
- Hello, everybody.

It's election night!

- The party's here!
- Oh, my God.

- Woo!
- Rinna, is that Sabrina?

It's Barbie. Harry named her.

- Oh!
- Oh, my God.

Harry named her Barbie
tonight,

so you kind of have
to go with it.

Harry and I have spent
a lot of time together.

I think a new persona
doesn't hurt.

You know, it spices
things up a little bit.

Grab your drinks.
Let's go outside for a minute.

Let's go outside.

I have to peek in
from time to time.

No, I have a TV outside.

- Oh, you have a TV outside?
- Yeah.

Okay. Where's the TV?

- Oh, it's in there.
- It's over there, yeah.

- Isn't this cool?
- Yeah. This is great.

Everyone sit down.

Oh, look at this
presentation!

You guys, who do we think is
going to win tonight?

Remember 4 years ago...

No, I don't think we're going
to know until Thursday.

I don't think we're going
to know for another month.

Any other talk to Erika
today?

I did.

Did you already know
what was going on?

I didn't know until she sent
that text to us today at 9:15,

and I instantly called her.

And you know, I was just as
surprised as we all were.

Erika had us over a year ago.

Tom was in great spirits.
He was beyond charming.

- In a movie in high school.
- It was a western.

So I got shot off the roof
and fell down.

Did you have a stunt double?

No, it was all me.

Erika was enjoying watching
Tom be charming with us.

There was just no sign

of anything
that would lead to a divorce.

- It was a surprise.
- Mm-hmm.

You know, we don't know
enough about what's happening.

We don't know what goes on
behind closed doors.

- You don't!
- You never, never know.

I know that if I was
going through a divorce,

I would have shared it
with these women.

I'm not judging,
I'm just thinking,

"Gosh, I thought we were
closer than that."

Now, not to make
things awkward,

but I know that you guys
have not seen each other

since Lake Tahoe
and on the plane.

Right. Right.

- And you guys had your thing.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, I mean, I know
that I had my little breakdown,

and I have apologized,
and I felt good when we left,

so I don't know if
there's anything left to say.

You know, it was good.
I think it was fine.

What was the report
from Crystal

from her first trip
with the ladies?

You know what, she had

a great time with
almost everybody.

- Yeah. Almost everybody.
- Almost everybody.

So who is the
almost not, Sutton?

Yeah.

From the way I heard
the story,

it was just, you know,
it was a girl's trip,

and just, you know, she walked
in to return a sweater.

First of all, I would never
walk in to someone's room

without knocking, and secondly,
if I saw that they were...

Dude, if you and I
were on a guy's trip,

you'd walk in my room
in a ****ing nanosecond.

Yeah, but this isn't
a guy's trip.

What are you
even talking about?

You don't even have to...

It's not a ****ing
guy's trip, Moe.

Let's be real.
I don't think I'd invite you

- on a guy's trip to be...
- Good, so we're good.

I'm not coming,
you're not inviting.

All he does is smoke the doobie
and talk sh...,

so I'm not sure I'd bother.

I got home that afternoon,
and I got on the scale.

And I lost five pounds.

- Well, thank you!
- How fabulous!

- Say, "Thank you, Sutton!"
- Hallelujah!

Wow!

- Wait, say...
- A new weight-loss program.

You guys, wait.

It wasn't like a great feeling
because, like,

I have food issues,
like, whatever.

I am sorry.
I am not going to...

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I am not responsible for
anybody losing five pounds. No.

- Like, I'm anger hungry.
- Wait, hold on.

I want to hear this.

No, I'm a recovering bulimic,
so, like...

and I say recovering
because, like, it's...

I don't know what it's like
to be any other thing.

- I didn't know that.
- I know you don't.

Coming up...

Do you want to invest
in our friendship like this?

I think I have.

Then don't ever talk to me
like that again.

I got home,
and I got on the scale.

And I lost five pounds.

- Well, thank you!
- How fabulous!

- Wait, say "Thank you, Sutton."
- Hallelujah!

Wait, hold on.
I want to hear this.

No, I'm a recovering bulimic,
so, like...

- Oh!
- And I say recovering because,

like, it's...

I don't know what it's like
to be any other thing.

- I didn't know that.
- I know you don't.

But that's really nice
for you to share that.

Brave of you to share that.

That's so important
to share that.

It was not, like,
a good weight loss.

I was like, "Okay,
this is sort of indicative

how I felt about the trip."

To be clear, I didn't have
a relapse on the trip.

I was just under
so much stress,

and I was just having

such a horrible time
I just couldn't eat.

How long have you
had this problem?

I became a bulimic
when I was 11.

You what?

I was a bulimic
when I was 11.

I just want the girls to know
how hyperaware I am

of my weight,

and some of the struggles
that I go through.

I will say that,
like, it's under control.

Good!

But it's not something
that I've ever hidden

because it's been so long,

or I'm not suffering
on a daily about it.

I was 11 years old
when I watched a video in class

about eating disorders,

and obviously it was
a negative message.

And then I sort of picked up
some tools from it,

and that's when it began.
Even, like, in high school,

I felt very, like,
normal to talk about it.

Like it was,
I have a grasp at it,

and I think that was also
part of my sickness.

Like, "Oh, I can talk about it.
I'm normal about it."

Right.

I think everyone's experience
is different.

Wow.

But by you sharing that,
it's going to help someone.

- I watched a lot of movies...
- Sure does.

It will help someone.

I think Amelia being so brave

and so honest
about her story...

There's so much I need to say
about anorexia

because, like, I could've died.

It helped Kyle come out,
I think.

When I was younger,
I had my own problems.

- Did you?
- Yeah.

But I never wanted to say
because I never wanted my kids

to have that problem,
you know what I mean?

I love that Crystal has just
been this open

because once you are honest about it,

it helps you
and it helps other people.

I didn't think I would
actually talk about that.

Let me hug you
because that's a big deal.

That was brave.

I'm nervous
about this election.

Are you?

It almost can't be that bad

because it already was that bad.

It won't be.
It's only 4 more years.

That's the way I look at it.

I'm going to Costa Rica maybe
if it doesn't go well tonight.

- You know what, we're not...
- Uh-oh.

- No, come on, come on.
- Come talk to me for a second.

There's enough stuff
going on.

Let me talk
to you for a minute.

- Where? Here?
- No.

I'm coming to paddle you
for your behavior on the plane.

Excuse me?

I don't know why this is
in here, actually.

Really, you don't know why
that's in there?

I don't know why
you have a paddle.

I just wanted
to talk to you...

Food.

About what happened
on the plane.

Okay.

This is not the first time
this has happened

between Dorit and me.

We've had this conversation
before in this exact room,

and I poured
my heart out to her.

I really do love you,
and I feel like

we're a friendship that's going
to last a lifetime.

And I really don't want to see
that just tossed away

over stupid, petty crap.

I cannot keep doing this
with her every couple months.

Either we fix it
and put a stop to this,

or we're not
going to be friends.

On the plane, I only wanted
to say one thing to Crystal,

and you screamed at me.

You said, "Can I just
finish my sentence?"

If anyone else had jumped in
and, like, chimed in like that,

you would have not had
that same reaction.

I feel like you treat me
differently than the others,

and I don't know what that is.

Okay, first off,
last year you interrupted me

in the middle of my sentences
a lot.

You and I had...
Then from there I said...

- But you...
- Own up to what you did...

- For crying out loud, let me...
- You never stop talking!

And it's almost as if you
don't feel what I have to say

has as much value
as what you have to say.

You scream this all the time,
"You talk too much.

I never get a chance."

The only thing I said was,
"Let me finish a sentence."

No, you screamed that at me,
Dorit. And what's...

No, but, Kyle,
it's only that you interrupt

in mid-sentence, that's all.

No, honey, 45 minutes...

I was not talking
for 45 minutes.

We hung out last week.

The wives were away,
and the girls rang.

Do you remember
we put the phones together,

and we were so drunk,
I said, "Watch this."

We were right here
at this bar.

I put Kyle
on speaker on his phone,

Dorit on speaker on my phone.
I put the two phones together.

I put them over there,

and we just
carried on drinking.

- Nice!
- And they kept talking,

and they had no idea
that we weren't listening.

They'd been together
the whole night,

and they carried on talking.

Fantastic!

Am I an important
friend to you?

Yes, I just said that.

Do you want to make
this effort with me?

Like, do you want to invest
in our friendship like this?

I think I have.

Then don't ever talk to me
like that again

because that's not
what friends do.

You're actually
turning around to me

and putting our friendship on
the line because I said to you,

"Can you not interrupt
another sentence of mine?"

Yeah, but friends don't do...
It was one time I spoke.

Should I say that last year
you said, " you, Dorit.

you!"
You break down in tears!

- you!
- you, Dorit.

You can't tell me how I feel
and react to things, okay?

Did I turn around and say
to you after that,

"You know what,
you want to be friends with me,

don't ever speak to me
that way?"

No, I didn't.

Last year we were
in a heated moment.

Everyone was at the table
in a heated moment.

On the plane,
it was calm and nice.

I was waiting for an in,
waiting for an in,

and I didn't want
to be accused of that,

so I was trying
to be respectful

because I do care about you.

And I know what you said
last year, and I heard that.

And I took it to heart.

Okay, well then
we're good, Kyle.

We're good.
Let's go back to your guests.

I want to really be good and
not just say that we're good.

We're good. We're good.

Now you're doing the Erika,
"We're good."

I'm good. I'm good.
I don't want to do this.

We're good. We're good.
I'm fine.

Why are you walking away?

Because I'm done.

Coming up...

Could I be a little gauche
and ask how much that would go?

Can I ask?

This particular one
about 380.

Okay.

Okay, well then
we're good, Kyle.

- Good.
- Why are you walking away?

Because I'm done.

I'm just, like, really
disappointed in her right now,

and if you hadn't brought my
dad tonight, I wouldn't leave.

But I do want
to get back to my parents'.

- Are we going?
- I'd like to.

- Okay, well, immediately?
Or straight away?

- Immediately, if not sooner.
- I guess that's it then, huh?

Thank you, Rob.
Moe, I love you.

Who's winning?

- Biden's in the lead.
- Oh, Portia,

this is your patriotic wear,
with your orange scrunchie?

- Guys, I love you.
- Are you leaving?

- I love you.
- Are you leaving?

I am. My dad just came in
this morning.

Go see your dad!

I know, and I told them
I'd be gone

for a couple of hours,
but I want to see them.

Love you.
Bye, guys.

I came to Kyle's party
because she's my friend.

Why can't we stay
a little longer, eat...

Let me see my parents.

But if she's going
to treatment me like this,

I don't need to be here.
I'm ready to go.

Love you. Bye, darling.

So annoying. Not fun.

Didn't really eat anything.

We were in the middle
of a conversation.

You had a hamburger
before you left

- an hour and a half ago.
- No, but I'm just saying.

They could throw it as,

that we were rude,
we left early.

We didn't eat.
You know, I'm just saying.

Well, that's not
what friends do, PK,

and it's definitely not

what friends do
what she did tonight.

Hi, sit down.

Are we okay?

Feeling bad Dorit left
'cause she got upset with me.

- No, no, no! Her dad...
- No, she was here...

She already said her dad
just arrived.

- PK wanted to stay.
- Did you guys not work it out?

I just want to nip it
in the bud.

She's just happy she's not
in the middle of this one.

- I love you, mother...
- Praise baby Jesus!

- Look, you guys!
- We are now hearing at 11:41

from both sides that a winner
will not be determined tonight.

Neither campaign expects
there to be a result tonight?

- Correct.
- It's all too early to call.

Too early to call!

This is just a big,
anticlimactic evening, Kyle.

This one's fancy.

Well!

Welcome to my private
Bentley shopping day.

Oh, my God.

I wanted to be able to enjoy
it without our masks on,

so they closed it up for us.

Well, of course!
Wow!

When you shop for couture,
you're by yourself.

You get to try it on
by yourself,

so this makes
complete sense to me.

This is how you shop.

Okay, what are we
looking for?

- Okay.
- What's our vibe?

I like a convertible.

I came here on Saturday.
I've seen a couple of models.

Okay.

And so I think
I like this one and...

Maybe you get one,
I get one, who knows?

Yeah, buy one, get one.

My very first car
was a Toyota Tercel.

Could I be a little gauche
and ask how much that would go?

Can I ask? You know me.

This particular one about
380.

Okay.

And then when
I could afford something

a little bit more fancy,
I got a Mazda RX-7,

and I didn't know
how to drive a stick shift.

So I'm leaving the dealer
and I'm like this.

See, I love that green,
but I want a convertible.

You missed Kyle's
election party.

Yes! I was home.

Were you just at home
with the boys.

I was home with the boys.
They were upstairs.

I tried to coerce them
to come down.

Yeah.

They came down
for five minutes,

and then I had
a glass of tequila.

- I texted Erika yesterday.
- And did she come?

- No, she didn't come.
- Okay, I was going to say.

And I ask Lisa.

I said, "Did she mention
anything to you?"

And she's like, "No."

When my life started
unraveling with my divorce,

I didn't want to see people.

I didn't want to do anything,
and Erika it was in the press.

People knew about it,

so I can understand
why she wouldn't show up.

- Thank you, B.
- You can close the top.

I'll show you where that is.

No, we're not closing
the top!

This is so decadent!

Most importantly, have fun!

- Okay, yes.
- Thank you. Not too much fun!

My business manager
has talked to them.

They already know
what I can afford.

Which is private.

It's not a plane,
but it's a nice car.

Oh! You're going kind
of slow.

Okay, wait. I'll give her
a little kick.

Yeah... oh, my God!

Okay, calm down!
Good for you, Sutton.

- I did good.
- Good for you.

You're doing a lot
of changes though.

I know.

Is there something
that I should know about?

- Well, you know...
- Like new house...

Is this what we call
a midlife crisis?

Men get Porsches
and Corvettes.

You get a Bentley.

- That's awesome, thank you.
- You're welcome.

This is my first car that
I've ever bought for myself

without asking permission.

This feels right. Sold!

Now let's go pay for it.

Did you like meeting
everyone last night?

Yeah, it was
actually really nice.

You seem like you were
having a really good time.

I was having a good time.

You know, Mauricio has really
good taste in wine.

Oh, that's a good
friend to have.

Yes.

- It's a good group, so...
- Yeah.

I talked to Sutton
a little bit,

and she seems very easy
to talk to.

I know that you're friends
with Jennifer Tilly.

Yeah.

She worked on a movie with you!
She told me.

Two movies!

She said you were just
a really nice guy.

I will say,

she was on her best behavior
last night.

Rob is very likable.
He's forgiving,

and he definitely gives people
the benefit of the doubt.

- We had a nice chat.
- He's a lot nicer than I am.

Hi, Zoebear!

She is...

- Yeah, she's tired.
She's tired.

- Tired, hormones.
- It's the end of the day.

- You want to play Mahjong?
- Yeah!

All right.

Ooh, careful.
Can you pick those up?

Thank you.

First of all, we have to
take out all of these.

Rob and I have totally
different styles of parenting,

and it can be
a challenge sometimes.

I am the hard ass.

- Can you count to 10?
- Do you want to eat this now?

- Yes,.
- That's good.

Rob's a coddler.
Hates that word.

- You are going that way or no?
- We're just going to sit here.

Oh, the family room?

- Yeah. Here.
- Oh, okay.

- Thank you.
- I'll top you off.

Every week he shows the kids
another movie from the '40s.

That's something that's really
special for the three of them.

I'm not invited. I have to make
the popcorn for them.

Okay, so remember we talked

about ice cream,
whipped cream, sprinkles.

So now you've gotten rid of one
because you came over here.

Because you have to go
finish your dinner.

I don't even know what to take
away anymore at this point.

I'm like, "Bleh."

You know I was very surprised
when Lisa came up and said

that you had told everybody
about your eating disorder.

Our daughter suffered
from an eating disorder.

Yeah.

And so, when she shared that
I was like,

"Wow. She's very brave
just to share that."

- Good for you.
- Yeah.

It's a weird topic
to connect with someone.

- Well, but you like food.
- I love food.

Yeah.

And actually I always wanted
to say I loved it,

and that was really hard.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah, I couldn't, like,

- admit liking food.
- Really?

Because I had so much shame
around food.

Right.

My body stuff is so deeply
rooted in, like, my childhood.

I had always felt
like the chubby one

wanting to be blonde,
blue-eyed and skinny.

I totally wanted
to be American,

and what that meant to me
as a child was white.

You know, I always felt like
the ugly kid.

Right.

Then I grew into an age of,
like, wanting to be so pretty.

Sure.

And now I've reached a point
where like, I really don't care.

I don't even think
we've even talked about this

like that in-depth.

My bulimia peaked
around the end

of high school into college,
so my parents don't know.

My mom still doesn't
know about it.

Totally.
It's interesting because...

Pardon?

Okay.

She'll say to me now, like,
"Mommy, your legs are skinny."

And I'm like, "Mommy works out.
They're healthy."

- Sure.
- It's so much work to, like,

get her to not use those terms.

- Right, I mean, okay.
- She cares... hi, Maxy.

Are you going to get
ice cream too for dessert?

- Lucy?
- Hm?

Can you make Max
those sesame balls?

Maxy, you can have
the number of your age.

- Eight?
- That's a lot of balls, dude.

That's what she said!

Coming up...

All right.

You're going
to put that fire out!

Whoo!

You're in trouble.

Kyle's going to come in here
and be like, "I told you all

to get mannequins
with arms and heads."

You know him, trying to...

We're going to get the boards
off of this,

and then the windows
are going to be open.

And it's going to look...

it might look better
with the boards up.

Everything is so weird that
it's all boarded up like this.

Oh, how beautiful!
And it smells good!

- Hi!
- Hi!

- Hello!
- You look so pretty!

Hi!

How are you?

- Honey, this is gorgeous!
- Hi, loves.

- Wow! Look at your outfit!
- You look pretty!

I just, like, wanted to be
comfortable today.

- Thank you.
- Oh, you're carrying denim now?

- Yes!
- Yes!

- It's good denim.
- I mean, I'm small, so...

Very nice. Now that's...

is that
one of those mama jeans?

- Kathy doesn't like mom jeans.
- I don't like the ones...

everyone thinks
it's so cool...

When they rise up,
like when they raise...

Where they come up here...

- Yeah.
- And your ass

looks this long.
I don't like it.

First the kids are making
fun of you

because you're wearing
mom jeans,

and now mom jeans
are cool and happening.

It's hard to keep up!

- They're kind of cute though.
- They are?

All I know is they're ugly
but everyone's wearing them,

so I have to wear them too!

So who all is coming
Saturday?

It's like a
Parisian vibe, right?

It's Parisian vibe.

Just so you know,
I'm so excited

because I know
what I'm going to wear!

Don't know
what I'm going to wear.

I think
everybody's going to...

- I mean, I don't know.
- Yeah.

I haven't heard
from everybody.

No one's RSP'd.
Just put it out there,

and whoever shows up,
shows up.

You know, I like having
a $35,000 party

and just, "Just show up."

Exactly!

I am desperate to give
a party, like desperate.

And I just want to invite
all the girls to my house.

Technically, it's my house,
but okay, yes.

She's leasing it.

- I really like these too.
- So did we find out anything?

I want to really figure out
this Erika thing.

Erika thing?

Did anybody speak other
than texting?

Has any... yeah.

What do you know?
What's the scoop?

No because she said
I'm exhausted, so I thought,

"Okay, well that means

I don't want to talk
about it right now."

Yeah, so I guess I'll ask her
if she's coming

'cause I kind of need to know
for catering purposes.

- Yes.
- Well, you can send her a text.

Just say, "Are you going
to be able to make it Saturday?

I need a headcount."

She's quick.

She's a court reporter
on the side.

I just said, "Hey, you.

"I know you are swamped
and no pressure.

"Just wondering
if you think you'll be up

for coming on Saturday?"
Let's just have a nice lunch.

I am trying to move some of
the things from the store

into my house

so it kind of feels
very Parisian.

I really do not think

that you need
that piece of furniture there,

and I see that
that closet is empty.

- That's...
- That's a bathroom.

- Oh.
- That's the powder room.

- Okay.
- Which we need.

- Yes, you do.
- We like to give advice.

Otherwise, no,
otherwise it's...

How I survived all this time
without y'all, I don't know.

I don't know how.

Kathy's used to being
the oldest sister

and sort of
bossing people around.

And what's behind here?

That's like our kitchen
and stuff.

I'm not allowed to swear.

I shouldn't be wearing
certain things.

And now it's rolled
into my kids.

They'll put something on
and I'll say, "Don't wear that.

Aunt Kathy's
not going to like that."

Oh, Erika texted me back.
She is coming.

- She's coming?
- Oh, good.

Okay, good.

When I was going through
my divorce,

if I got invited to something,
it gave me a reason

to get out of bed,

put on clothes
and try to be around people.

That's the best thing
she can do for herself.

I think we should
take it easy on her, you know?

- Why wouldn't we?
- Yeah, don't bombard her.

People talk
when they want to.

Why would we do anything
other than take it easy on her?

Let's not ask her
any questions.

Do you need this desk here?

- Yes, Kathy.
We actually work here.

Harry?

Harry?

Harry?

- Yeah?
- Oh, are you down there?

- I'm down here.
- Okay, I'm coming.

Oh, look at your garden!

It's harvest time
for the potatoes, but...

Wow!

- They're not very big.
- Why aren't these bigger?

I don't know.
That's interesting.

Oh, that's a nice size.
That's the size last time.

- Yeah.
- When the pandemic hit,

Harry was like,
"We'd better have a garden

because it's going to be
Armageddon at any moment."

Hey, we have a pumpkin!

Yeah, that's actually
ready to harvest.

He literally went on
the Internet and was like,

"How do I grow a garden?"

He decided to first build
a little garden up above

on the deck in a box,

and it went so well
that then he said

I'm going to build
a garden down there.

These are haricot vert,
the French beans.

Hm. I love these.

The house is becoming
quite sustainable, shall we say.

Is this your compost thing?

That's my compost thing,
yeah.

What do you do with it?

Well, you take
all the cuttings

and all the stuff that,
you know, you left over,

and you put it in there
and chop it all up.

What are we doing that for?

Out comes the best soil
you can possibly have.

Oh, so you put it all here
so the plants will grow?

That's right.

- Did you put poop in there?
- No.

- No, right?
Like, no fertilizer, like,

it becomes fertilizer but
you don't put poop in there.

- No.
- Whatever Harry does,

he's like Midas.
He's got the Midas touch.

Anything Harry Hamlin does
turns to gold, seriously.

Well, are you going
to make me do a fire drill?

Oh, that's right.
We've got to do the fire drill.

- We should go do it.
- We have to do that

because there are going to be
Santa Ana winds coming.

- Let's go do it.
- And fire season is coming up.

We've got to do that.

All right, let's go.

There is a fine line
between quirky and paranoid.

This is not really
a swimming pool.

This is a reservoir.

Well, look at the pool.

We should have
a little swimming party.

Let him have his garden.

Let him have
his tacky ass pool.

If it's going to save
the house, he's usually right.

So I go here like this.

- Open it up.
- Oh, my God.

Take hose with nozzle
onto the lawn,

the whole thing, all of it.

Almost there.

Pick up the nozzle
and run back here with it.

All this has to happen
in one minute.

- I know!
Oi!

Ah, I did it my first try!

You want to start going out
and just fill it up with water.

To this day, I cannot imagine
what Harry Hamlin sees in me,

I really can't.

But I do know how to give
a damn good blowjob.

Whoo!

All right! You did it.
Put that fire out!

Whoo!

I handled his hose quite well.
I really did.

- All right.
- I did it!

- That was good, right?
- That was good.

- Okay.
- Wow! Let's take a rest.

- That was good.
- That's a workout.

- Yeah.
- Wow!

Well, that's why the firemen

are like
big, strong guys, right?

I talked to Erika today
briefly.

She's doing all right,

but I'm just giving her
her space right now.

Well, please give her
my best, will you?

Of course I will.

And tell her
I'm rooting for her.

You know, she's situating
her new life.

You know, in my case,
the first time

was kind of acrimonious,
I guess, you know.

It wasn't the most
harmonious divorce.

Are they ever harmonious?

Well, the second time I just
went like this and I said,

"Take whatever you want."
You know?

Oh right, you didn't fight it
in other words.

I didn't fight it.

No, I said, "Bye, bye.
See you later." That was it.

I came into the relationship
with Harry at the tail end

of his second divorce,

but you get all
the emotional baggage from it.

Not anything that I ever want
to go through again, okay?

- Okay.
- Deal?

- Deal.
- Pinky promise?

All right, okay.

I do not want to go
through a divorce.

Coming up...

Do you think
she really filed?

- Yes, she did.
- Shouldn't she wait?

I just feel like
they've been married that long.

- Oh, stop it, Garcelle!
- I didn't say it!

- Hi!
- Hi! How are you?

- I'm good.
- Nice to see you.

The only thing we have left
to do is talk about seating.

Is this too bridal?

Oh, my God.
It's a little bridal.

All right, well,
let me see what else we have.

Yeah, it's screaming
bridal to me.

Okay.

I'm missing
Paris Fashion Week.

I'm missing going to Europe,
so I want to take us all

on a trip to Paris in my house.

This used to come down
even more,

like the skirt
needs to hit the floor.

I'm ready for champagne.

I go to Paris
at least four times a year,

but I love walking in the rain
in Paris.

I love the smell
of all the patisserie.

You can't beat Paris.

- Do you like the jewelry?
- Yeah.

What I do not like
are all of these price tags.

I hate it.

- Okay.
- Like, hate it.

- Okay.
- You can tempt these ladies

with a little bit of jewelry.
It never hurts to make a sale.

Something's got to pay
for these parties.

The bags look good.

This is all we brought?

Yes.

Thank you, sir.

You're welcome.

Hi!

- How are you?
- Oh, my God, you look so cute.

Take that mask off now
that I got out of the car.

- How are you?
- Good. Welcome.

I think we have a few
minutes. You want some tea?

- Sure, I would love some.
- Okay.

Okay. Let's have some tea.

It's actually really
chilly out.

It is, and I love it.

It was like 90 yesterday,
so I was thinking I'm not

going to be tricked again,
and now I'm freezing.

Do you have a jacket?

I do not.

I think she'll have heaters,
right?

I don't know.

I was thinking... I mean, maybe
she'd move it inside but...

- Oh, okay. Yeah.
- That's why I have a hat.

I mean, I thought
it was raining all morning.

Okay, the bag over there
is very distracting.

I cannot.

I had it on display
just for you.

- Stop the madness.
- Are you dead?

I have not heard one word
out of Crystal's mouth.

All I can see
is this bag right now.

It's as good as it gets,
right? I know.

It's... holy macaroni.

This deserves its own...
I don't know.

Maybe we have to send it
in a separate car or something.

- I've got to run, honey.
- All right.

All right, kiddos.

Oh, lovely.

Good.
You look like a '60s girl.

- Cute?
- Very cute.

It's a Parisian-inspired
lunch.

I'm not really a...

like "I want to eat Coq au Vin
at 12:00 in the afternoon."

Load up on the caviar.

Well, I think that
most Parisians would be eating

croissant right now.
Anyway, baby.

- All right, have fun, honey.
- I love you.

- Love you.
- Bye.

Bye, Jugaloosh!

- Bye, baby.
- Bye, mama.

Bye, baby!

- Erika's coming today.
- Oh, sh...

She said she's coming, yeah,
which will be nice to see her

since all that was announced.

Okay, good. Okay. That's a
lot to deal with, so...

- It is.
- I'm happy she's coming today.

I am too.

Oh, wait, so how are you
feeling about Dorit?

I totally forgot.

Well, I haven't spoken
to her.

I just spoke to her
at my house that night.

And that was it?

I am sensitive, but I'm also
not a pushover, so, like...

- Yeah.
- Don't take advantage

of the fact that I'm
a forgive-and-forget person.

- Yeah. I get that.
That's good. I like that.

- Nick?
- Yes?

Queue the champagne.

Okay. Okay.

- Where is it?
- It's... I have it.

- At the door!
- Okay.

We're going
to your house now.

We're going to my house.

- Well, this is a first for me.
- Is it?

I have to resist opening
the door myself.

- Do you miss the house?
- I do. I really do.

Back when I was living
in the Bel Air house,

that house saw some parties.

It is not going inside!

If Mauricio saw this
on my hardwood floors...

Ah!

- Now how do we get out?
- We don't!

But I've never gone
to a party where

I wasn't the hostess there.
I'm about to walk in.

- I know. You should.
I think it's time.

I mean, it's a party.

- This was, yeah.
It was a long walk.

I don't know if I can
get myself to do it,

especially under the circumstances.

I'm not doing it.
I'll stand here for two hours.

Oh, well you shouldn't
either.

- You definitely shouldn't.
- What if she's naked?

Just kidding.

What are you doing?

Oh, are you going
to answer the door?

- Hello!
- Bonjour!

- Hello!
- Bonjour, bienvenue.

Wow!

- Look at how cute you look!
- Hi, Crystal! How are you?

- Hi, good to see you!
- Thank you.

- Oh, double-kissing, sorry.
- Oh, my God.

Does that look beautiful
and cozy in here or what?

Is it beautiful and cozy?

You're making me want to move
back into this house.

I'm not even kidding you.

Well, not too soon.

This room like this,
I'm not even kidding you.

It gave me goosebumps.
I love this house so much.

It's just so interesting
to me

to see someone else's take
on something.

I just can't even get over
how much I love this.

Isn't it pretty?

And Sutton definitely has her
own unique style and flavor,

and while I love it,
it feels a little weird.

Hello!

Y'all are kidding me
right now.

What? Hi!

Y'all are kidding me, yeah?

- What?
- What?

- Get out of here!
Get out of here!

Is her's the same dress?

Y'all have to get
new stylists.

We did not do it again!

We did not!

What? Are you kidding me?
This is the most random dress!

- Are you kidding me?
- I cannot.

Did you guys
really not do this?

You know, this is a case
for the fashion police.

Rinna has done this

way too many times
with too many people.

- Hi... oh, yeah!
- I got the leopard thing.

Oh, yeah!

- Hi, sorry!
- Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

- This is a fashion emergency.
- You look fabulous!

- This is really gorgeous.
- Hey.

I'm like,
"I think I hear it knocking."

- Hi.
- How are you?

Hi, Dorit!

Hi, baby.

Oh, hello!

- I can't get over this.
- Stop it!

Can you believe
the humiliation?

- Oh, my God!
- A-frickin-gain.

By the way, I'm so blinded
that you have

polka dots on your head
but I went over there

and I was like, "I can't
with this whole situation."

There could be another one,
who knows?

Ooh!

Hello!

Hi, hi, hi!

Garcelle, look!

- Are you guys playing?
- We're not.

Not only did we steal
each other's look,

but Sutton stole
my goddamn house!

She stole your house,
you stole her outfit.

Is this for real?
Hi, how are you?

- Doing well.
- Thank you so much.

Well, you guys look great.

Hi, baby. How are you?

- Hi, baby. How are you?
- Today's a good day.

Today is an amazing day!

Biden, Harris!

Biden, Harris!
We've been divided.

We need some sanity
put back into this country.

Thank you, 2020, finally.

To have a half Black,

half Asian vice president
is everything.

It's like all the little girls
in us

see us in her, and it's amazing.

I said to my daughters today,
I said,

"Girls, we have
a female vice president."

- Isn't that so cool?
- Vice president!

That is so cool.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Oh, how beautiful.
Look at you.

- Hi!
- Kathy, can you believe?

Look at Rinna and me.

You all look very Parisian,
but I have to tell you

in the daytime in Paris,
this is the way I dress.

- I know.
- Oh! I love it.

Who's not here?

Erika.

- But she's coming.
- Good.

I was shocked to hear
about Erika.

Yeah.

- I was sad.
Like, I didn't see it coming.

I remember when I met
her last year

we had this amazing lunch,

and the moment she
mentioned him she welled up.

The one thing that I love
the most about Tom,

when my son was younger,
he welcomed him...

- I'm very thankful.
- Oh!

I felt the love, you know?

And I said,
"That's what I want."

I felt like she admired him.

I felt like
she was proud of him.

I felt like she had
a good life with him.

I thought she was in it
for the long haul.

Erika's one of those

that she holds certain
personal things to her chest.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

And when she's ready

she shares
when she feels comfortable.

That's when you need
your girlfriends.

You know, that's when you...

- Yeah, that's what I think.
- You know,

it's great to have
a support system around.

Yeah.

No one knew?

No one knew in Tahoe?

- No.
- No one knew.

- We did not know in Tahoe.
- Really.

What is...
Where she was in Tahoe?

The last time
I spoke to Erika,

I just thought
they were on solid ground.

- Did you talk to Tom?
- We spoke this morning.

- Good.
- We spoke this morning.

He's good.
He's at the firm.

- Oh, he is?
- Honey, that's a workhorse.

Yeah.

Do you think she really filed,
that it's her idea?

- Yes.
- She did. Yes.

- Yes, she did.
- Shouldn't she wait?

For what?

For what?

I know what you're thinking.

I literally know
what you're thinking.

Can you guys fill us in
for those who don't know?

- What were you going to say?
- I don't know.

I just feel like they've been
married that long, like...

- Oh, wait. Oh...
- Oh, stop it, Garcelle!

I didn't say it!

Tom is 82,
but now let me tell you.

People live until
they're like 100 now.

I'm implying it,
and y'all are slow.

Garcelle, that is so evil!