Original subtitles

(ENGINE SPLUTTERS)

When did you last use it?

Ooh!

(SQUAWKS)

(BIRDS CRY)

("FRIDAY ON MY MIND" BY THE EASYBEATS PLAYING)

What's he doing?

Dan? Pull me in.

(INAUDIBLE)

MAN: Good Lord, what ran over you?

-Billy, you old bastard. -Too long.

-Eva. -Frank.

-Dan. -How are you?

Come on, let's get this party started.

-(CAR HORN HONKS) -Quick. They're here.

-WOMAN: Hi! -Oh, shit. You look beautiful, Mom.

-Hello! -Hello!

-Hi! -Hello!

-Welcome. Leo! -All right?

-Hello. Hi, Bridget. -How are you?

-One for you. -Cheers, mate.

Thanks, mate.

-Bridget! -Hello, Charlotte.

CHARLOTTE: Leave your bags and come in.

Let's go out on the terrace.

-Billy! -All good?

Billy!

-You look well. -Yes, very good.

BILLY: Really well.

CHARLOTTE: I don't know if I like the sound of that.

Oh, my favorite god-daughter.

I'm your only god-daughter.

How's your love life?

-No, no love life. -What's wrong with boys these days?

I don't know, have you met my brother?

-Dan, off your phone. -Get off your phone.

-Get off the phone. -Off the phone!

BRIDGET: The world. You can see the world from here.

WOMAN: It's just so beautiful.

-Wow. -Wow.

(PILL PACKET CRACKLES)

(EXHALES)

(GROANS)

CHARLOTTE: Frank! Come on!

Holly's bringing someone.

-Are you all right? -Bloody speedboat's stuffed.

So you won't have any fun on the donut.

Refills? Pop!

-Oh, yes. -I will.

So beautiful. I'd forgotten.

Don't tell me that's what I think it is.

And what do you think it is?

What I think it is is one of your projects which always seems

like a good idea and never is.

-The treehouse is still standing. -Want to tell us?

We're gonna build a pizza oven.

Oh, God, no. Don't tell me I've come all the way from New Zealand

to build you a pizza oven.

No, us. To build us a pizza oven. All of us.

It's going to be bonding.

(ALL LAUGHING)

DAN: Good luck with that.

What was that?

Why don't you just go and hand out the oysters instead of sitting on your arse?

-CHARLOTTE: Ella. -Okay.

CHARLOTTE: Oh, hi, honey. Go on through.

-Thanks, Uncle Frankie. -Hey, don't you bloody uncle me.

What's that, Uncle Frankie?

-(ALL CHEERING) -Hey, Holly!

-Hello! -Hello, Holly.

-Hello. -Hello!

Hello.

Nice of you to test drive a new root at my birthday party.

You are just jealous.

Everyone, this is Doug.

-Welcome Doug. Frank. -G'day, Frank.

Drink?

She'll be right, Frank. I've got a beer in my Esky.

(LAUGHS)

Now a bloke's happy.

Cheers!

Cheers!

-CHARLOTTE: Lunch is ready! -Yes!

(PLAYS CHORDS)

CHARLOTTE: Lunch!

(PLAYS "WILD THING" BY THE TROGGS)

Wild thing

You make my heart sing

You make everything

Groovy!

(LAUGHS)

Wild thing, I think I love you

Uh-huh, uh-huh

But I wanna know for sure

Come on and hold me tight

I love you

(CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)

-Good one, Mommy. -You smashed it, Mom.

Leo.

BRIDGET: This food!

Um, I just wanna say

thanks for coming all this way to celebrate my birthday.

Means a lot to me.

We may not have been the brightest or the best band in the world,

but we certainly had a lot of fun out there on the road, didn't we?

And you did make Rolling Stone's Most Promising of 1977

as you've never stopped telling us.

And we did have a little hit there for a moment.

ALL: (SINGING) Fearless

Fearless

FRANK: And even when the gigs dried up

and we lost our creative drive and our bookings

and our voice, Holly's beautiful Mom, Roxy...

Yeah, Mom.

-...we'd found something else. -I never found anything.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Friendship.

I know we don't get to see each other as much as we would like to.

But when we do, I've gotta say it's sort of wonderful.

-To friendship. -Friendship.

-Friendship. -To friendship.

-Friendship. -And family.

-Pre-historic friendship. -Jurassic friendship.

To friends.

CHARLOTTE: Pass your plates if you want salmon.

Tuck in, everybody.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING CASUALLY)

-No, please let me help. -No, no, it's okay. It's all good.

-Thank you, um... -Ella.

Yeah, Ella.

Dr. Ella. She's the brains of the family.

-Dad. -FRANK: What?

-It's embarrassing. -It's the truth.

-ELLA: Coffee, M0m? -No, thanks.

FRANK: How many sheep do you run? DOUG: Probably just over 15,000.

But I'm only running at half capacity. It's too dry.

(DISHES CLINK)

(SIGHS)

Dan.

So what happened with art school?

I can't draw.

And the communication thing?

I can't write.

Not good enough anyway.

So what are you good at?

Skating.

-Well, that's a start. -Yeah.

I'm supposed to be revving you up about the joys of the journalistic life.

-(SIGHS) Don't bother. -Yeah.

A couple of us actually have an idea for an app.

Oh, what's that?

It's like a skater hub kind of thing. It's early days though.

Wow. On trend, dude.

(BOTH LAUGH)

-You follow your dreams. -Yeah.

Dad wants me to follow his dreams.

Go and become the great creative he failed to become.

Listen, at your age, it is your responsibility to ignore your father.

In fact, I think it's pretty much your only responsibility.

-I'm here for you, dude. -Thanks, Leo. Cheers.

Uh, wouldn't it be much better over there?

Do you know, that's what I was thinking. It's a much better place for it.

BILLY: Well, I mean, it's a more obvious spot. Ready-made for shade.

It's going over here.

Well, if you want to make a big mistake, go right ahead.

You know what?

It's his oven. If he wants to put it there, we won't give him a hard time.

Jesus, can't you just hire someone, Frank?

Yes, we can but it's more fun if we do it.

Look, this is going to be a place to gather in the storm.

To remember the community of those you love.

(GROANS)

Let's go surfing.

("YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO YOUNG" BY FRANK SINATRA PLAYING)

-Lovely day. -Yep.

We should be at the golf course.

-That's where the grown-ups are. -Golf?

I'm not 103, mate.

Bloody close to it.

Not until tomorrow.

Yeah!

(LAUGHS)

(CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)

(BIRDS SCREECH)

Hey, look at this.

-(WHISTLES) -(CAR HORN HONKS)

Hey!

Hey, still got it.

-Look at that. -Pretty good.

FRANK: Flat as a tack.

Hey, look, I look pretty bloody good these days, you know, for a young bloke.

-Yeah, not bad. -Look at that.

Don't know what you're doing.

(HUMS)

When you say that you just can't hang on

When you're letting go and want to run

(CROWD CHEERS)

Don't back off all those bumpy roads you nearly chose

It's easy

It's easy

'Cause you're fearless

Fearless

Fearless

Fearless

WOMAN: Do you blokes mind?

Fearless

WOMAN: Can you take amateur hour somewhere else, please?

-Sorry. -Yeah, well, you're scaring the children.

-Sorry. -Yeah, sorry.

GIRL: Who are they, nana? WOMAN: Some has-beens.

Bloody hell. Doesn't take much to scare kids these days.

LEO: I'm with her. You were bloody terrifying.

(ALL LAUGHING)

ELLA: That's Uncle Billy and Eva.

HOLLY: That must have been when they first met.

ELLA: Leo. Dad's guns.

You and your mom again.

Oh, my God, look at that.

Remember, that was after Mom died and I'd just moved in with you guys.

BILLY: Ouch!

Oh, my gosh! Will you stop it with the mosquitoes?

-What's the matter with you blokes? -He drives me crazy.

CHARLOTTE: Didn't you get enough attention as babies or something?

With Frank, it's sneezing.

When he sneezes, it's like a bomb going off. I just wanna kill him.

What about, "Bless you, darling. I'm sorry about your allergies."

You do it on purpose.

-Leo. -Don't. Hey, don't you dare.

-Leo's perfect. -(ALL LAUGHING)

My thoughts exactly. Thank you, darling.

See what you've got to look forward to, Doug?

Hey, and her mother was a pain in the arse.

-Well, I know that. -(LAUGHS)

She wouldn't have put up with your music taste.

Do you know that Dougie's into a bit of Willie Nelson and The Carpenters?

DOUG: You love The Carpenters.

But Mamma was blues through and through.

FRANK: Yeah, different times.

She'd like to be making your sort of money.

And I would like to be singing in a band instead of...

We're happy little Vegemites, as bright as bright can be...

Hey, hey, hey. Nothing wrong with advertising.

Some of us keep off the breadline with it.

Actually, Billy just won an advertising prize, yep.

-Best jingle of the year. It was. -Oh, it was bullshit.

-Let's hear it. -Why are you denying it?

Nah, nah, nah, nah. Why do mozzies only love me?

Someone has to.

Shame about that chimney, Frank.

(CAMERA CLICKS)

("PRETTY PAPA BLUES" BY PAULA WATSON PLAYING)

FRANK: Wine, anyone?

-Can I just have a go? -No.

-He's very serious about it. -This is very intense, Mom.

This is a big moment.

See if you can teach him some manners, Caitlyn.

This is a very important moment.

-Yes! -(ALL LAUGH)

(DAN AND CAITLYN CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)

CHARLOTTE: I'm coming in.

You are just as handsome as ever.

How are you?

I'm good now. Much better.

Looking forward to getting back to work.

We missed you.

You know... (CLEARS THROAT)

I had a bit of a scare too.

What?

It was a bloody melanoma, but it's fine. I'm clear.

Leo, why didn't you tell us?

Well...

It's a bastard, but...

We're survivors, you and I.

But it changes you, doesn't it?

I call it uninvited clarity.

That's right

I don't feel the same about so many things now.

CHARLOTTE: No.

Some things you think are important that just don't matter at all

and other things,

-much more so. -Yeah.

What?

Our agreement. I've rethought, Lottie.

What?

-Is that why you came? -No, no, wait. Just hear me out.

You can't rethink, Leo.

LEO: Yeah, no, no, you're right. It's not rethinking. It's what's...

Unresolved.

It's not unresolved. We resolved it 20 years ago.

-You might have. -Look, we all did.

That's not the way I see it.

(GIGGLES)

-Does Bridget know what you want? -No.

(SIGHS) She'd be appalled.

We had an agreement. We made a pact, Leo, and for good reasons.

-They're still good reasons. -Yes, they are.

But they're not good enough.

-Give it to me! -I want it!

-Give me it! -I want... No!

-Give it here! -Give it...

-Take it off him! -Gimme it back!

Please! Please! Take it!

DAN: Give me the phone!

Give me the phone. Thank you.

I'm going to talk to Frank.

No, you will not.

I'll talk to Frank.

You coming, Dad?

Yep. In a minute.

(SIGHS)

(PEOPLE CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)

That's it. We've found it, we've found it.

Come and check out Billy's prize-winning baby.

BILLY: What are you doing?

Oh, don't be so modest, Billy.

-Eva! -Come on, come on, come and see.

You found it!

Here, come on. Come on, gather round.

-Great. -All right.

("FEARLESS" PLAYING)

(SNEEZES)

When you say that you just can't hang on

-Oh... -Stop it.

When you're letting go and want to run

FRANK: Shush! HOLLY: What is it?

-Oh, God. -Oh, my God.

All those bumpy roads you nearly chose

It's easy

(ALL LAUGHING)

Easy

Hey.

Easy

Ella, shut up.

Fearless

-Oh, wow. -Is this a joke, Billy?

-Listen, Frank. -Jesus, Billy.

-That's our song, you prick. -How could you do that?

What's happened?

Billy turned Fearless into a diapers ad.

Diapers? What the fuck?

That was Mom's song. We sang that at her funeral, for God's sake.

Can everyone calm down? It's just a song.

Exactly.

The Rolling Stones used Start Me Up to sell Microsoft Windows.

I'll bet Keith never sold it behind Mick's back.

That's awesome! The Pacific Sideburns go down as the voice of incontinence.

-What, adult diapers? -Nobody's going to see it.

-Where's it playing? -Nowhere important.

-FRANK: Where's it playing, Billy? -Europe.

Europe?

I wanted to ask you. I was trying to find the right time.

FRANK: You know there's no bloody right time!

HOLLY: If Mom was here, she would punch you, you fucker.

BILLY: There was a deadline and I...

I couldn't lose the gig.

I needed something good and fast.

So, you stole our only hit.

What is the matter with you? Bloody hell, Bill!

-I wrote it. -Not on your own, you wanker!

What do you care, Dad? You were just the manager.

Hear, hear.

-Fuck! -(BARKS)

Good one, Eva.

Adult diapers? I'm gonna vomit!

("IT'S A MAN'S MAN'S MAN'S WORLD" BY JAMES BROWN PLAYING)

(HOLLY GROANS)

(SIGHS DEEPLY)

(SIGHS DEEPLY)

I feel like such an idiot.

I mean, I was just happy he'd won something.

I mean, obviously, if I'd known, I...

HOLLY: No one is blaming you, Eva.

Billy is just being a dick.

You're not his keeper, Eva.

I think it's just the male ego.

It's this desperate need to succeed, and it corrupts their judgment.

I don't know if it's that exactly.

It's about what they've always dreamed of for themselves,

and what they've turned out to be.

But isn't that true for all of us?

Yes, but we've learned to keep our expectations in check.

Oh, well, stuff that.

(PLAYS CHORD)

EVA: Oh, I love Billy's ego.

There was something really sexy about his genuine self-confidence.

When they lose it, boy, don't they know it?

HOLLY: Why did Franky sell the business?

Like, he lived for Swagger gear.

I begged him not to sell it.

I mean, I was coping fine. It's just, you know Frank.

There's no telling him.

HOLLY: (CHUCKLES) Silly bastard.

And I haven't been too much fun myself.

Well, I think you've got a good reason not to have been a laugh a minute.

Oh, it's those anti-estrogen drugs.

They make you miserable and snappy,

and then you dry up like an old prune.

Well, crack open the coconut oil.

-(ALL LAUGHING) -What?

-It's for more than just cooking. -HOLLY: Get out.

Yeah. It does wonders for the Velcro vagina.

-(ALL GROAN) -It's true.

It's true.

-I'll show you if you like. -(ALL LAUGHING)

-Stop it. -(STRUMS GUITAR)

Anyway, I'm not on them anymore

and I can already feel my whole body waking up.

-Oh! -HOLLY: Whoo!

-Yeah! -Look out, Frank!

(BOTH LAUGH)

Don't even look at that.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS)

(SIGHS)

Why didn't you tell me?

BILLY: Fearless is 40 years old, for Christ's sake.

Oh, sleep well, then. (SIGHS)

All right then.

I was ashamed.

Look at us.

Failed jingle writer and an ageing actress.

A what?

You're beautiful. You'll always be beautiful, but come on.

The world we live in, it's over for us.

Oh, fuck off.

-No, go on, fuck off. -Where?

I don't care. Just get out.

Get out until you grow up.

God! And turn the light out!

And shut the door.

(DOOR CLOSES)

-(MOANING IN ANOTHER ROOM) -Oh, I don't believe it.

-(LOUD MOANING) -(GROANS)

(MOANING CONTINUES)

(WHINES)

(MOANS)

(LAUGHS)

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

(BOTH LAUGH)

Oh, my God, why are you so good to me?

'Cause you deserve it.

No, I don't.

And because since the second we met,

I've spent every waking moment working out how I could win you.

Do you have any idea how much energy that takes?

I'm sorry. I just had to be sure.

-DOUG: So are you? -What?

As sure as I am?

Have you got any of that energy left?

Hmm. Maybe.

(MOANING)

(SIGHS)

Battle of the Orcs.

(SIGHS)

You awake?

(MUMBLES)

What?

I was talking to Leo.

-Yeah? -And...

Well, he says that...

Yeah?

That he...

What?

He had a cancer scare.

Melanoma.

Christ.

Is he all right?

Yeah.

Why's Billy such an ungrateful bastard?

He's resentful. He's broke.

I flew them out here business class, didn't I?

It's hard for him to accept it.

Not so hard he declined the offer.

Sometimes you just need to let things go, Frank,

and appreciate what's in front of you.

You used to be so good at seizing the moment.

I used to be good at a lot of things.

(SIGHS)

(BOTH SIGH)

(INSECTS BUZZ)

-What's up? -Charlotte told me.

Oh, jeez, Frank. I'm sorry, I really should have told you first.

You don't have to be sorry.

I understand.

You do?

That's really good of you. To be honest, I...

-I didn't know how you'd react. -How I'd react?

Come here, you big dope.

I love you, mate.

I'm just glad you're all right.

Oh, Frank, I really...

I really appreciate that.

You are all right, hmm?

I mean, everything's good now?

Yeah, I'm fine. Just fine.

-That for me? -Yeah.

-You having one? -Right. Yeah.

(BIRDS TWEET)

(EXHALES)

(BILLY SNORING)

(SNORING)

(SNORTS)

It's your handsome prince, rousing you from your slumber.

Please don't kiss me.

Anything you wanna tell me?

I'm an idiot.

And?

I'm sorry.

(LAUGHING EXCITEDLY)

Get off me!

You have put on so much weight, you fat bastard!

EVA: Okay, girls, let's walk the dog.

And breathing, step or jump in, the feet towards the hands

and roll up through the body

into anjali mudra.

Lift the face and the hands and salute the sun.

And fold down the body into the plank.

Inhale and exhale, heart over the hands, into chaturanga.

Breathing into upward dog and exhale into downward dog.

-Center yourself. -Oh, God.

EVA: Tell yourself, "I am enough."

-I'm enough. -I am enough.

I've had enough!

(ALL LAUGHING)

EVA: Engage with your deepest and most private place.

(FARTS)

-(DOG WHINES) -(ALL LAUGHING)

Pepper!

Don't blame Pepper! That was you!

Oh, my God, that was really classy, Bridget.

BRIDGET: What, don't movie stars fart?

No, never. Oh! (LAUGHS)

It's not fair. That body at 60.

It's not easy. I had to work at it.

CHARLOTTE: Well, however you did it, you're every bloke's fantasy.

Oh! Maybe once.

You know I've been, um... I've been approached to play a grandmother.

-Oh, no! -Oh, what?

EVA: And I have to fight for it.

-Oh, rubbish! -ELLA: What's wrong with that?

I think it's really cool to go from sex kitten to granny.

She's too young to play a grandma. Come on!

CHARLOTTE: Sixty's the new 40.

Yeah, sure. From behind and in the dark, Mom.

Dream on, grannies. I'm done.

HOLLY: I need a headache tablet.

(SHRIEKS)

(ALL LAUGHING)

No! Don't you dare!

(ALL LAUGHING)

CHARLOTTE: You're a horrible child! Get off!

("FEEL LIKE MAKING LOVE" BY ROBERTA FLACK PLAYING)

So, you sold Swagger for a king's ransom,

but you couldn't stretch to an espresso machine, Frank?

Gotta have something to leave the house for, Billy.

BILLY: Shame about that chimney.

Just a tiny blip on paradise.

How's the Mustang, Billy? Still going?

Sold it.

FRANK: You sold it? BRIDGET: You loved that jalopy.

Well, you know, you move on.

Your pride and joy. How could you?

Well, Franky, I wouldn't have bloody sold it if I didn't have to.

FRANK: Okay.

BILLY: Must be easy to forget what normal life is like, Frank,

but some of us still flinch when the bill comes.

Jeez, you're a chippy bastard.

-I'll buy your Mustang back for you. -CHARLOTTE: No! That's not what he wants.

BILLY: Yes, it is.

Buy it for me, then.

Doesn't mean anything to you. Means the world to me.

All right, I will.

Get stuffed.

Listen, you little shit.

I apologize for not making it as an artist,

who we all know are superior beings.

Who knew the world would want my T-shirts? But they did.

I got a shitload of money for it and I'm not apologizing.

Exactly. No big deal.

We all know it's more about luck than talent.

EVA: Oh, shut up, Billy.

Frank worked bloody hard to find and support artists.

Don't be such a jerk.

Lots of people work hard but don't end up with a house in Palm Beach.

Come on, Billy, let's run off this lunch.

-BILLY: No, thanks. -I'll pay you for it.

'Cause after all, I'm just rolling in it.

-You coming, Leo? -Come on, Uncle Billy.

No, no, I'll help with the washing-up.

CHARLOTTE: Oh, no help required.

Did he say he was going to help with the washing-up?

CHARLOTTE: I've got a few errands to run in Avalon anyway.

-Well, I'll give you a hand. -No! No, I'm fine.

I insist.

HOLLY: I think you need a nap. DOUG: Do you? Right-o.

Good boy.

That's it.

In you hop.

("LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL" BY BB KING)

(PANTING)

If it's too hot, don't push yourself.

BILLY: Oh, get stuffed.

(EXHALES)

(GASPS)

I want Dan to do a DNA test.

Fuck you, Leo.

He deserves the truth.

(SIGHS)

Besides, Frank's had him for 20 years. It's my turn.

(SCOFFS)

-You've got a daughter. -Step-daughter!

Pepper, stay!

LEO: Come on, don't be ridiculous.

That's like me saying to you,

you have Ella and that's enough, and Ella's your flesh and blood.

Well, so what?

I mean, you're Caitlyn's dad in every way that's important.

-Here, let me, let me. -(GROANS ANGRILY)

Look, Leo.

Leo. Leo. Don't you remember?

On the stairs, back in Newtown, you, me and Frank,

when I told you that there was just an infinitesimal chance,

we all agreed that it wasn't worth

losing what we had.

And Frank, who at that moment had every reason to hate you, he said,

"If we don't know then it won't get in the way of any of us loving him."

And you agreed, Leo.

You did. We all agreed.

-Don't you remember? -Yes, I remember.

But this is 20 years later, and I'm not who I was.

Well, just be who you were! Ooh!

-Hi, Charlotte! -Oh, Lorna.

Leo, Lorna, Lorna, Leo.

Hi, Leo. Um... Oh, are you a shrink too?

-No. -LORNA: Oh.

Well, I don't mind telling you that this little lady saved my life.

No, saved my life and it's not an exaggeration.

-Because I don't think I'd... -Lorna.

-Well, I... -Would you fuck off, please?

Oh...

Better be going.

I think you'd better go too.

I think you'd better just find any excuse and just go.

I can't. You know that.

(SCOFFS)

-Where are you going? -Home.

-What about the shopping? -Oh, fuck the shopping!

BRIDGET: Caitlyn just adores Leo.

He's been a fantastic dad.

She was just six years old

when my first husband left.

It's going to be far worse when she loses Leo.

Well, he hasn't gone yet.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

BRIDGET: I know. I'm sorry.

This wine makes me whine.

-Oh, you whine away, darling. -(LAUGHS)

Whine away.

You're so lucky.

-Why? -Well, Billy still loves you.

(CHUCKLES)

I don't know where you get that idea.

I can tell.

The way he looks at you.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, he's just too vain to wear his glasses.

(BOTH LAUGH)

All he sees is a blur.

(BOTH LAUGH)

(PANTS)

What happened to you?

I'm not a pathological show-off like some people I know.

I'm definitely not 40 anymore.

None of us are who we used to be.

I used to be a musician.

You used to be an unemployed musician.

Now I'm hired to flog nappies.

Oh, you're an artist, Billy.

I used to be always jealous of you blokes. Talented bastards.

All hail the conquering heroes.

At least you have other things.

I never wanted kids.

Now I look at yours.

You have bloody great kids, Frank.

Sometimes I think the only kids that do any good in life

are the ones that have to overcome obstacles.

My kids don't have any obstacles to overcome.

Frank, you're 80 kilos of obstacle.

Eighty-five.

You know I can't even get it up anymore.

Really? Not at all?

They say it's not uncommon for blokes our age.

Not me, mate. Right as rain.

Like a steel rod.

-(LAUGHS) -You're a bastard.

(BOTH LAUGH)

EVA: Help!

Help!

We can't get down!

HOLLY: Dougie to the rescue!

-Doug. -The ladder!

-DOUG: Here I am, ladies. Here I am. -Oh, my God, where's the ladder?

-Can you please? -Whoa, whoa, hang on.

Why do you think that?

-DOUG: You right? -No, we're not all right!

-Watch her foot. -DOUG: Hang on.

For health and safety reasons,

I think I'm gonna have to give you a random breath test.

You two. Trouble, huh?

-Come here. -EVA: Stop, I'm gonna pee!

-Oh, no, no, no, don't! -No, she won't. Come back.

DOUG: All right. You ready?

Go on, push yourself up. There you go.

-(EVA LAUGHS) -(CHEERS)

-Dougie to the rescue! -EVA: Oh, my God!

So, do you think he's the one?

I really like him.

So do we.

ELLA: I can't see you on a sheep farm, Holly.

HOLLY: Oh, I can.

Oh, that's serious.

DAN: Done.

It's not lined up properly.

Looks pretty good to me.

-That brick is not in the middle. -Yeah, it bloody is.

LEO: It's good enough.

-It's good enough? -Yeah, it's good enough.

We don't need this micro-managing, Frank.

BILLY: It's not the Opera House.

If you're gonna do something, you do it well.

Dan does not need encouragement to get sloppy.

-Frank, enough of the criticism, okay? -Get stuffed, Leo.

Hey, wasn't this supposed to be bonding?

It's pretty hard to bond with the Gestapo here.

And what's that supposed to mean?

I don't know what's pissing you off so much, but don't take it out on us.

When do I get my yoga ball back?

CHARLOTTE: Tea's up anyway.

Hey, come here.

Thanks, love.

-Hello, ladies! -Bombs away!

(YELPS)

BILLY: Wow.

Look at that.

Even though I say so myself, you've done well, Frank.

Real shame about that chimney.

Be bloody perfect otherwise.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

EVA: Ta-dah! Yummy! HOLLY: Famous scones.

-Beautiful. -Delicious.

Charlotte, thank you.

ELLA: Got ya!

(ALL LAUGHING)

(DISTANT BANGING)

What the hell's that?

ELLA: Is that Dad?

-Bloody hell! -HOLLY: What is he doing?

("BORN TO BE WILD" BY STEPPENWOLF PLAYING)

What's going on?

Come on, Dad. Frank's gone mad.

-Where? -Just left here.

Frank! Frank!

CHARLOTTE: What are you doing, Frank?

-Dad? -Frank!

Come on down, Frank.

CHARLOTTE: Frank! Get down here before you kill yourself!

Watch out!

BILLY: He's gone mad!

-CHARLOTTE: Frank, get down here! -Don't anyone come anywhere near me!

Stop being an idiot!

Frank, I'm coming up there to get you, mate.

-Billy, help him. It's your fault. -Why is it my fault?

-It's always your fault! -Leo, hold the ladder.

You can fuck off!

You're all a bunch of fuckwits. I don't know why I invited you all.

-I hate you all. -No, you don't.

Yes, I do. And I hate you more than anyone.

No, you hate me more.

-No, I hate him more! -He hates me more.

-FRANK: Why'd you come? -Well, it's your bloody birthday

and we're here to celebrate the rational...

-Mature. -...mature,

wise old bloke you've become. Come on.

-CHARLOTTE: Exactly. -(YELLS)

For God's sake, Frank, what are we going to say to the owners?

We are the owners!

What?

I bought it yesterday.

-Did you know about this? -He bought it?

(GROANS)

-Get away! I'm coming down. -BRIDGET: Careful.

-Come on, get away! -DOUG: Right-o.

EVA: She didn't know about this.

CHARLOTTE: Frank...

(LADDER RATTLES)

There.

Happy now?

CHARLOTTE: Frank!

Frank!

-You bought a house? -So what if I did?

Without talking to me.

You just think you can fix everything with a checkbook.

Bloody helps.

You're a lunatic.

It's my money.

If I wanna knock down a chimney, I will.

"My money"?

You know I mean our money. Of course it's our money.

(SIGHS)

I didn't buy the house.

You didn't buy it?

I enquired about it.

Well, why did you tell everybody you did?

I don't know.

I'll cancel the dinner tonight.

No.

No, I'll be fine.

MAN ON LAPTOP: I know it means playing Grandmother,

but it can't hurt playing Nicole's mom, right?

And the director's last film, it made a bomb for the studio.

Great. Let's give it a go.

-Okay, well, we'll talk. -EVA: Okay, thanks, Harry.

She's 50, for Christ's sake. You can't play her mother.

Well, apparently, I can.

It's your career.

("I'VE BEEN LOVING YOU TOO LONG" BY OTIS REDDING PLAYING)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

Let's see.

-You look so hot. -CHARLOTTE: Let's go.

-Gimme a kiss. -CHARLOTTE: All right, everybody.

-Let's go! -(WOLF WHISTLES)

Dan's waiting in the boat. Let's go. Where's Frank?

I'll go find him. Take that.

Do you want to take this?

ELLA: Dad!

Dad!

Dad?

-Come on. -You look lovely.

Thanks. You okay?

Never been better.

Just gimme a sec. Mom's in the car.

(CAR HORN BEEPS)

("I'VE BEEN LOVING YOU TOO LONG" CONTINUES)

DAN: Ahoy!

Welcome aboard, sir.

(LAUGHS)

You right, Mom?

(INAUDIBLE)

DOUG: Oh, it's a shame. I was liking the sound of that.

HOLLY: Dougie and I are actually quite compatible.

-We are at it three times a day. -CHARLOTTE: Oh, no!

BILLY: Well, what's unusual about that?

EVA: I can't think of anything worse.

(CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)

(GLASS CLINKS)

Ooh, speech.

ELLA: Attention, please.

Yes, I just want to say a few words to Dad.

Oh, Dad. You are

an obstinate, blinkered,

-anal, obstreperous control freak. -(ALL LAUGHING)

LEO: Hear, hear!

That's nice. Must be my birthday.

Let's not forget your shining moments.

Let's see, when you forgot my dance performance,

and you forgot my debating final,

and you forgot my interschool Tournament of the Minds competition

which led to the State Championships, which you missed.

And then there was the time you told my school principal

that she was full of shit.

Well, she was.

Or when you yelled at me after I missed that goal in the semi

and then you got kicked out of the ground.

If you'd listened to me, you would have got that goal.

ELLA: I guess that sometimes kids don't realize

that their parents...

Well, you're people too,

with hurts and struggles.

And I just wanted to say that

I wouldn't have got through med school without your support and encouragement

and you're a really great father.

To Frank.

EVA: To Frank. Happy birthday. HOLLY: Frank, we love you.

To Dad.

BRIDGET: We love you.

LEO: To Frank. HOLLY: We love ya.

BRIDGET: God, that's nice.

Speech.

-Speech! -Go on!

LEO: Speech. HOLLY: Come on, Frank.

Thank you, darling. That was, um...

That was beautiful.

I'm a, uh, lucky fella.

Uh...

Excuse me, won't you?

ELLA: Dad.

Don't be sad, Dad. I love you.

-And I love you too, darling. -You wanna open your present?

You all good, Dad?

HOLLY: What you got there? BRIDGET: Look at that.

FRANK: Honey.

EVA: You take the ribbon. Give me the ribbon. I'll keep the ribbon.

LEO: Dan.

(ALL LAUGHING)

-BRIDGET: What is that? -What do you reckon?

-ELLA: It's a monkey. -It's a monkey.

-HOLLY: Monkey see, monkey do? -And he plays the drum.

Where did you find that?

ELLA: 'Cause you always wanted to be in a band.

(LEO SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

BRIDGET: It's one of those... it's a really old one. Where did you find that?

-How do you play it? -EVA: That's fantastic.

Put it on the table.

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday, dear Frank

(SIGHS)

Happy birthday to you

-Hip hip! -Hooray!

-Hip hip! -Hooray!

-Hip hip! -Hooray!

Why was he born so beautiful?

Why was he born at all?

(SIGHS)

Because he had no say in it

No say in it at all

-Look at this. -Look at that.

-Is that you? -Isn't that wonderful?

-That's amazing. -Look.

Really?

Where's Dan?

Oh, I think they went down to the pontoon.

BRIDGET: This is the one that I would like.

(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Ooh!

(LAUGHS)

(ALL CHEERING)

What was that?

FRANK: Who did that?

(WHOOPING)

(FIREWORKS EXPLODE)

Very good! Thanks.

Excuse me, I can't see.

There we go.

("CATCH THE WIND" BY DONOVAN PLAYING)

(CHEERING)

Thank you.

HOLLY: I want to hide a while behind your smile

And everywhere I'd look your eyes I'd find

BOTH: For me to love you now

Would be the sweetest thing would make me sing

Ah, but I may as well

Try and catch the wind

Oh, shit, I hope our kids have your singing voice.

(HOLLY CHUCKLES)

Oops, that just popped out of nowhere, didn't it?

Wow.

I guess I'm asking you to marry me, Holl.

You know there's nothing I want more than to call you missus

and live happily ever after.

I know that you do, Dougie.

I'm sorry. I'm not the right person for you.

FRANK: I've got your keys, don't worry.

So what'd you get from Leo?

What did you get me, Leo? I don't know, what did he give me?

He gave you the cognac, didn't he?

-FRANK: Did he? -(TEXT ALERT BEEPS)

(SIGHS)

It looks like it's between me and one other actress.

Whoo-hoo!

With a bit of luck, you might get to play a granny.

(TELEVISION PLAYS INDISTINCTLY IN OTHER ROOM)

-(SIGHS) -(TELEVISION CONTINUES)

(LIGHTER CLICKS)

CHARLOTTE: Hey.

Hey.

(TAP RUNS)

Thanks, Leo, for...

For not saying anything.

LEO: I haven't changed my mind.

Frank must wonder himself.

-He hasn't wondered. -Oh, that's bullshit.

He has a problem with Dan and I'm pretty sure I know why.

Lottie.

Nothing'll change unless you force him to acknowledge it.

Just like he was forced to acknowledge what a crap husband he was.

All those years he was married to his bloody business.

CHARLOTTE: Oh, shush.

It got better.

It got better because one night you and I fell into bed.

And Frank realized he had to lift his game, otherwise he'd lose you.

It was much more than just a...

It was much more than just a fling, Lottie.

I was in love with you and you...

CHARLOTTE: Ella.

Ella, wait.

Ella, wait! I need to talk to you.

Ella! Ella, listen to me.

ELLA: Mom, I don't want to hear it.

Ella, it was 20 years ago!

But you were married to Dad!

We were going through something.

You don't do that to someone you love.

(SIGHS)

-ELLA: No wonder he's depressed. -He's not depressed.

He's just dealing with a lot of stuff.

ELLA: How often do you prescribe anti-depressants to happy people?

-I haven't prescribed anti-depressants. -Someone has!

FRANK: What's going on?

Hey? What's going on?

-Leo wants to know. -What?

Dan.

-I wanna know, Frank. -Are you serious?

Yes, I am. I'm serious.

Have you thought about what this is going to do to Dan?

Dan might be happy to know you're not his father. Did you think of that?

-(GRUNTS) -CHARLOTTE: Frank!

Stop it! Stop!

FRANK: You bastard!

Just don't!

(GRUNTS)

Stop it. Oh, stop it!

(GROANS)

Why don't you just talk about it?

You treat him like shit!

How the hell would you bloody know?

Everyone knows.

CHARLOTTE: Stop it!

(GRUNTS)

He's my son, Frank. And you know it.

(PANTS)

LEO: Fuck you, Frank. FRANK: Fuck you, Leo!

Shut up!

(DOG BARKS)

Don't get blood on the linen.

(GRUNTS)

Do you remember when we first met?

What?

Do you remember when we first met?

Course I do.

It was at the Indiana Teahouse in Cottesloe.

Nice try.

It was on a plane from Karratha.

You were covering a mining story and I was a single mom

struggling with a very cranky six-year-old

and I'd just lost my teaching job

and I was transferring back to, uh...

Back to Perth.

So?

Sometimes, I...

I think you fell in love with the idea of giving me

a fairytale ending.

I was in love with you, Bridget.

You sure you didn't just want to save me?

It's very different, you know.

For God's sake, Bridget, what are you talking about?

You already have a daughter

and a wife

who love you and want you.

Jesus, Leo.

What difference will knowing make?

(DISTANT THUNDER RUMBLING)

(CHARLOTTE SIGHS)

Do you want to talk about it?

About what?

Well, the pills you're taking for starters.

Talk to me, Frank.

I should never have sold the business.

Ever since I sold it, I've felt...

Dead.

(SIGHS)

You think he's mine?

I've always wondered.

(CHARLOTTE SIGHS)

(WHISPERS) Billy.

Billy.

What are you doing?

I'm leaving.

I've had enough.

One day I hope you wake up and realize that your life was pretty bloody good.

Hey, hey, Eva. Eva, come on.

We've got through a lot of shit before this.

I'm not going to say goodbye. You tell them when I've left.

They'll understand.

-Open the window. -No!

-Just give me 15 seconds. -Keep going.

-Please! -Oh, my God. Keep going.

-Stop! Stop. -EVA: Oh, my God!

Eva, give me a chance. Just give me a chance, please?

BILLY: Stay.

Eva.

Eva. Eva.

I don't know why, but I sabotage every good thing

and you're the best thing.

And you're right. I'm selfish and ungrateful and miserably jealous.

And all my shit is because I've always believed that I don't deserve you.

Please forgive me.

Please.

-Don't believe him. -Shut up!

Thanks. I'll deal with this.

Look, I am not going to get out of this car

until you promise me

that the next ten years are going to be our best.

I promise you. Cross my heart and hope to die.

You don't deserve me.

Billy!

It's all right now. It's all right.

Congratulations and everything,

but can I get a cancellation fee?

-Yeah. -Here.

Twenty bucks? I come from Dee Why, mate.

-Oh, thanks, mate! -No, it's all right. No, don't!

-Yeah, Okay. -Let him go.

("PAIN AND MISERY" BY THE TESKEY BROTHERS PLAYING)

(BILLY AND EVA LAUGH)

(INAUDIBLE)

(CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)

(LOUD SQUEAKING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

HOLLY: Seems I've got to have a change of scene

'Cause every night I have the strangest dream

Imprisoned by the way it could have been

Left here on my own or so it seems

I've got to leave before I start to scream

But someone locked the door and took the key

You feeling all right

Uh-oh

I'm not feeling too good myself

Uh-oh

You feeling all right

Uh-oh

I'm not feeling too good myself

Uh-oh

You feeling all right

Uh-oh

I'm not feeling too good myself

Uh-oh

-Feeling... -(ENGINE REVS)

-(SINGING STOPS) -(ALL LAUGHING)

Hey, Cait, come on. Let's go for a burn.

How about, "Dad, can I go for a burn in the boat

"that I buggered last time I used it?"

Well?

Of course you can, darling.

Do what you like.

You always do.

DOUG: You ready?

-CAITLYN: Yep. -Away you go.

("FEELIN' ALRIGHT" BY JOE COCKER PLAYING)

You good?

Yes! (LAUGHS)

(WHOOPING)

(LAUGHS)

Oh! Oh!

(SQUEALS)

Dan!

Whoa!

(CAITLYN SCREAMS)

DOUG: Dan!

-Frank! -CAITLYN: Help!

DOUG: Frank! Quick!

No!

("FEDALLAH'S PROPHECY BY THE TESKEY BROTHERS PLAYING)

(BREATHING RAGGEDLY THROUGH OXYGEN MASK)

(INAUDIBLE)

(INAUDIBLE)

HOLLY: Dougie? Um...

Do you have to go now?

Just go tomorrow,

or in the morning.

I don't want to get in the way, Holl.

You're family, you know? I'm not.

Take care.

(ENGINE STARTS)

(SNIFFLES)

(MONITOR BEEPS REGULARLY)

(BREATHES GENTLY)

(ELECTRONIC TICKING)

(MACHINE BEEPS)

-What was that? -NURSE: Nothing to worry about.

Why won't they tell us anything?

If we lose him,

I will never forgive myself.

Frank.

It was an accident.

My last words to him:

"Do what you like. You always do."

Why did I say that? It's not the truth.

I don't deserve him.

(PHONE PINGS)

(CUP RATTLES)

(DRINK POURS)

(EXHALES)

-Caitlyn. -She's fine.

-I'm so sorry, Dad. -No, no, no, mate. It's all right.

I'm the one who's sorry.

CHARLOTTE: You gave us such a fright, darling.

-Sorry, Mom. -(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Dr. Hall.

Oh, Frank Lowther. This is Charlotte, Dan's mother.

-Hi. -Hello.

(MUSICAL RINGTONE PLAYS)

ELLA: Hello?

(SOBS)

Okay, thanks, Dad.

He's got a broken shoulder but he's gonna be okay.

EVA: Oh, darling.

Oh, there you are.

Oh, sweetheart.

It's all right, sweetheart.

EVA: He's going to be good.

I love you.

CAITLYN: Dad.

Are you all right?

Yes, I am.

It's going to be all right.

Forgive me, I've...

I've been an idiot.

-Watch your head, darling. -Yep.

-There. -DAN: Thanks, Mom.

From now on, mate, I'm out of your way.

But I'm here whenever you need me.

I'm not gonna sit on my ass, Dad.

I know.

(EXHALES)

(CRIES)

Shh.

(INSECTS CHIRRUP)

-Thanks, Billy. -Okay.

Oh, Ella, he's sleeping now. He's gonna be okay.

You were right, Leo.

CHARLOTTE: What?

Leo's right. Dan needs to know the truth. We all do.

What do you mean?

It has to be finished.

We should have found out 20 years ago.

What's going on?

We'll do a DNA test. Put it all to rest.

Frank, listen, it's not necessary.

Let sleeping dogs lie, for heaven's sake.

Do it, Leo.

ELLA: Guys?

You're all completely mad.

Come on.

Second-year genetics.

Why didn't you just ask me?

I tested Dan's DNA and mine. We have the same.

99.99 percent chance he's my brother.

If Leo's Dan's father,

he's mine too.

ELLA: Mom?

Not a chance.

("THEY LONG TO BE CLOSE TO YOU" BY THE CARPENTERS PLAYING)

Right, who's hungry?

No, no, stop. We'll manage.

And we'll all leave in the morning and give you some peace.

CHARLOTTE: No! Don't do that.

BILLY: Here comes the cavalry.

You beauty!

It's Doug!

(ALL CLAMORING)

ELLA: Holl!

Holl, you hungry?

No, I'm fine, thanks.

I think you are!

(LAUGHS)

(SNEEZES LOUDLY)

Bless you, darling. I'm so sorry for your allergies.

(LAUGHS)

CHARLOTTE: Come here.

Oh, you are feeling better.

Ah, they're quite useful.

(CHUCKLES)

("SOUL KIND OF FEELING" BY DYNAMIC HEPNOTICS PLAYING)

Yummy!

Charlotte. There you go.

Hey, we've started.

-Well? -No.

BILLY: What? CHARLOTTE: Oh, Eva.

Oh, no.

Apparently, they...

They thought I looked too young to play Nicole's mother.

I'm calling those brain-dead casting directors now

and I'm gonna tell them you'd be perfect.

You should see her first thing in the morning, I'll say.

Under the right lights, she looks 102.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Pizza's up!

(ALL CHEERING)

-These look good. -Look at that.

Better be good.

Oh, it smells fantastic.

Congratulations. Looks absolutely wonderful.

No, thanks.

Look who I've got.

Hey, Pepper!

(LAUGHS)

And not until you get off the phone.

Wait, wait, let me just fix the music. Hang on.

Hey! None of that rap crap.

-Hang on! Hang on. -(MUSIC STOPS)

This is for you, Dad.

("FEARLESS" PLAYING)

Come on, beautiful. Put that down.

-Oh, my God! -We're on here. We're on. Come on.

(CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)