Original subtitles

- All right, nearly home time.

Let's tidy up.

Quickly.

[gentle jaunty music playing]

- [Phil] Hands up, who's excited?

[children yelling]

[clock clicking]

[clock ticking]

- Hey, would Cinnamon like to come over tomorrow

for a play date after school?

- Sorry, she has advanced tree climbing

and then Wahine Wanderers.

- Oh, Wahine what?

- It's like Brownies but better.

- Oh, I never did Brownies.

- I had all the badges.

They had to invent new ones for me.

I'm the reason there's a

'Who's Best at Playing the Silent Game?' badge.

Spoiler alert, it was me.

- Cool.

- Yeah, it was.

- Ah, what about Wednesday?

- That's figure skating for winners.

- Thursday is Two-Wheeler training

at the Teuila Blakely School for Big-Girl Bike-Riding,

and Friday, chess zitsu.

- Chess-what-su?

- It's a hybrid of Chess and Jiu Jitsu.

It activates parts of the brain

that increases strategic thinking and employability.

- Afternoon, Wahine ma.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- Would Braxton like to come round tomorrow

after school for a play date?

- Sorry, he's got golf and then Chess Zitsu.

- My kids are free.

[chuckling]

[upbeat music playing]

[bell ringing]

[children chattering]

[upbeat music]

[clock clicking]

- Good morning Kate Sheppards and Sheppardesses.

A reminder that tomorrow

is our Crazy Hair Day fundraiser.

So come with the craziest hairstyles

your mums can find on Pinterest,

and a gold coin donation,

not silver.

- Jaden, where are your shoes?

- Are you busy?

- I've got a fundraising meeting

for Crazy Hair Day,

I'm trying not to be late for.

- I'll write you a note.

Our school nurse has to keep her hand on a car,

for 48 hours to win a competition,

so I need a mum,

to check one of the kids.

- [gasping]

Say no more.

Don't worry I've had them before.

- Ahh... Sick bay.

- Okay. Hi-vy Ivy,

I'm Jess.

And me and Doctor Web MD,

are gonna to check you for chicken pox.

But seeing as you're someone else's child,

I'm just gonna leave

this door wide open alright,

okay.

Ah, temperature.

[birds chirping]

Remember I'm a doctor,

just jokes.

Okay, stay cool till after school.

Chaaa.

She is clear.

[door slams]

- Thank God.

The last thing we need is another nits outbreak.

- Wait. A what outbreak?

- A nits outbreak.

- No, you said chicken pox.

- No, I scratched my head which means nits.

- You scratched your cheek

which clearly infers chicken pox.

I checked her for chicken pox.

Why didn't you check her for nits?

You're kind of perfect for it.

- They give me the heebie jeebies.

- Oh, they give everyone the heebie jeebies.

- We might need to enlist

the Junior Fundraising Committee to help.

- Okay, but don't tell Heather

that it was me,

but mostly it was you who messed up.

- Agreed.

[suspenseful music playing]

- The school's in trouble

and I need you not to overreact.

The school has nits.

- Oh my Godfathers!

- Oh, sorry,

I can't think about them without scratching.

- Now I'm gonna have to buy

that expensive shampoo

and wash every soft surface in the house.

Cinnamon can say goodbye

to her female empowerment duvet set.

- Ah, it gets better.

The Principal want's us to perm Ivy clean

and subtly check her class.

- This better not affect Crazy Hair Day.

It's supposed to be a hair raising fundraiser.

- Braxton's going as the principal.

[laughing]

- What kind of mum sends her kid

to school with nits?

- Anyone can make a mistake.

- Nits don't discriminate.

- Hine's right.

I, for one, don't blame the victim,

or any other minor player

who thought they were helping

but just really making it worse.

[suspenseful music playing]

- Could Ivy Green please return

to the sick bay

and avoid all contact with staff,

students and soft furnishings.

- Ohh, bags no de-knitting.

- I'll take one for the team.

- [indistinct] , Hine.

- Mm-hm. And after you guys

can check all the kids in her class.

- Oh nah, yeah I probably-

- Too late, don't try and wriggle out of it

- Oh, don't say wriggle.

- Wriggle.

- What are you doing?

- It's nit repellent.

It literally repels the nits.

- Ah-ha.

- Don't hog it.

- Okay, that's enough.

That's enough.

- They really like clean,

lustrous naturally coloured hair.

- Hi, Doctor Jess.

- Doctor?

- Just cause I look so smart.

[Jess chuckling]

Hey, Ivy right? Long time no see buddy.

- Are you okay?

- Yes, just Hine is going to check your hair,

while we observe from a distance.

- I don't have chicken pox.

- But you do have nits.

- Oh.

- Have you borrowed anyone's hat lately?

- My sister's friend had a party on Saturday.

- Mm, that's not relevant.

What room are you in?

- 13 and 14.

- The nits have burrowed into her brain,

she can't remember what room she's in.

- 13 and 14 is a combined class.

- I always knew that was a bad idea.

[gentle upbeat music playing]

- You take room 13 and 14

and I'll do Ivy's sister in Room 12.

- Why are we even the ones stuck doing this?

- Because we're mums.

We do gross stuff for free,

because we love kids.

- I hate loving kids.

- Blame Ivy's mum,

this is all her fault.

When I see her I'm going to tell her that.

- Yeah, it's definitely not the fault

of anyone who could have stopped Ivy

going back to her class or anything.

[chuckling]

Okay, remember that the principal

doesn't want us to raise a panic

amongst the children.

So whatever you do don't say the 'n' word.

- I'm going to raise a panic in Ivy's mum's face.

- And the other one.

- There were only three left.

[uptown music playing]

- Okay Room 13 and 14,

Ms Wong needs a logo

for her big rock tribute band,,

since she can't afford a graphic designer,

because teaching's about passion not paychecks.

- Hello,

I'm Jess and I'm here to

judge your drawings

and chose the best one to win a special prize.

- What's the prize?

If it's cash, I'm in.

- Well actually, the principal has asked me

to come in here and check

for something,

in this classroom.

Nits

- Oh, sorry,

every time I hear the word, I scratch.

- So, I'm just going to put on

my art choosing glove

and my thinking mitten,

and just take a close,

but not too close,

look at all your beautiful work.

- So, I need you all

to sit very still

while I measure your head for crowns.

- Is it because we're all winners?

- We can't all be winners,

that defeats the purpose of winning.

- You're kind of mean.

- Who's your mum?

- Trudy.

- Mm. That makes sense.

[gentle jaunty music playing]

- Oh, that's lice,

nice use of colour there

[inhales deeply]

You are gonna be just fine.

Oh wow, what's that?

- It's my brother getting eaten by a shark.

- Nice.

Oh, pretty.

[gasping]

Winner!

We have a winner.

Winner!

And oh,

another winner,

another winner.

That makes two winners.

[gentle music playing]

Okay, you alright?

Okay, just in the hall down there.

Kei te pai. Argh.

- Are you okay?

- That's like the third grossest thing

I've had to touch as a parent.

Hi!

- Ivy's sister.

Their mum is in so much trouble.

- Why's she wearing a crown?

- Well, I promised I'd craft crowns

and I'm a mum of my word.

Did you get any from Room 13 and 14?

- Eva Grossweener and Ivanna Fontana.

- Oh, their mums will be so embarrassed.

- Nits are nothing to be ashamed of.

- And that's important that we remember

that should we hear anything today

that makes us think otherwise.

- Alright, let's have a game

of duck, duck goose.

Ryan, run around the circle

and touch everyone on the head.

- Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck

- And really get your hand in there.

- duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, goose!

- You've got something in your hair.

- Ivy's mum is dead to me.

- It's just glitter.

- Oh, thank God! - Oh, thank God!

- Personal jinx!

[chuckling]

- You got jinxed.

[laughing]

- What is a personal jinx?

- Jinx, when two people say

the same thing at the same time.

One person says jinx,

the other person can't talk

until the jinx-master says their name.

Did you not play this as a child?

- No, you can't jinx me

without my permission.

What was that for?

- Well, if you speak

before the jinx-master releases you,

you get a punch.

- It's true.

[chuckling]

- Heather, I release you

from your jinx.

- Yeah, you do.

[upbeat tune playing]

- And that's why static electricity

is a great way to get kids interested in science.

Thank you, Cinnamon.

Who's next?

[children yelling]

- Me! Me! Me! Me!

- Braxton, come here, mate.

Alright, here we go.

- Ava's got them too.

- Oh.

- And Ivy's mum is on her way.

- You have no hair for them to grip!

- I think I'll have a word with Ivy's Mum.

She's put our Crazy Hair Day fundraiser in jeopardy

and that does not go unpunished.

- It's not entirely her fault.

- But I want it to be.

- Hi, Cinnamon's mum.

- Oh, you guys know each other?

- She's in Cinnamon's Wahine Wanderers six.

- Ahhh.

Maybe all the victims are connected?

- Well they do all go to Kate Sheppard.

- And they're all girls.

Who else does Wahine Wanderers?

- Ahh, Eva, Ava, Ivanna, Ivy and Ivy's sister,

Cinnamon's the only one missing.

- I'm gonna to kill Ivy's mum!

- She didn't mean that.

[birds chirping]

[suspenseful music playing]

Okay, before we go in,

I need to ask you something.

Okay, if hypothetically,

a mum had the opportunity to check the nits

but accidentally -

- Oh, I'm just waiting for the beep.

- Oh.

- Hi, Ivy's Mum,

it's Cinnamon's Mum.

I'm just calling, to let you know

that it appears that both your daughters

have contaminated the entire W.W six with nits

and I'll be sending you the receipt

for the most expensive nit shampoo

that I can find.

Cinnamon has a very sensitive scalp.

[suspenseful music playing]

- Looks like we're gonna be here

for a while ladies.

Anyone do anything good at the weekend?

- Also, I'll expect a donation

to make up for the profits

that we'll lose with crazy hair day.

I'm not trying to make you feel guilty,

but it's the only way you'll learn, okay.

Sorry you were saying?

- Nothing.

- Okay.

- So, you all went?

- Wanna to see some photos?

- Yes.

Flash phone?

- My step mum bought it for me.

[sighing]

[suspenseful music playing]

Heather's not gonna like this.

[chuckling]

[gentle music playing]

- What are you waiting for?

- You to go in to your daughter's class?

- I'm not allowed inside the classroom for a week

after just a misunderstanding

about the amount of parental advice

that Phil requires.

Jess, my daughter is in there

she needs saving from the parasite

that shall not be named.

[children grunting]

- Oh my God!

- What?

- And release.

Nice and that, Room 1,

is how a rugby scrum is put together.

[kid laughing]

- With that kind of cross contamination

anyone who goes in there

has a high probability

of coming out with nits.

[suspenseful music playing]

- Your daughter's in danger,

I'm going in.

- You would have made a good Brownie.

- Thank you so much,

because I feel like-

- [claps] Chop chop.

[gentle jaunty music]

[door shuts]

[Jess panting]

- Oh, let's welcome Ryan's mum, Room 1.

- [children in unison] Good morning, Ryan's mum.

- [nervous chuckling]

- How can we help?

- I'm here to right my wrongs.

- Excuse me?

- Can I just borrow Cinnamon for a second?

- We're just about to give each other head massages

as part of our mindfulness curriculum.

- Oh no!

Let's put pause on that for a second.

Don't wanna tell you

how to do your job or anything,

anyway, thank you!

There's our girl.

- This is the last straw,

I'm having Ivy's mum banned

from Wahine Wanderers.

Mummy loves you baby.

[door slams]

- I think I know what happened.

- Did Ivy tell you?

- That her mum doesn't love her enough to notice

that her two daughters had nits?

She works full time.

- Hey, we all work full time,

some of us just don't get paid.

- No, I know what really happened.

- Oh no.

- Oh no!

[suspenseful music playing]

- Yep, you've got nits.

- Oh.

- You should have used the repellent.

- You know what, it's karma.

- Is it that girl in Room C then?

- No.

I had the chance to check Ivy for nits

this morning and I blew it, okay?

- You're the reason that Cinnamon

has the lice that aren't nice?

- You can yell at me if you want.

- Oh no, I don't yell,

I just allow my vocal cords

to reach their full potential.

- I think Heather has a confession to make too?

- No, I don't think so.

- I saw the photos.

- Dammit.

- I feel more confused than usual.

- Cinnamon had a birthday party on the weekend

and all those girls were invited.

- She had a party

and you didn't invite me and Ryan?

I mean, I know we haven't known each other for long,

but I thought we had a nice friendship.

- I was sticking to the rule

where you only have as many kids

as the age they're turning.

Cinnamon was six,

so I invited the Wahine Wanderers six.

- That's why you had glitter in your hair.

- I did a glitter pinata.

It was a showstopper.

- I thought we were friends?

I got nits for you!

- We had a fairy,

he wouldn't have liked it.

- Ryan loves fairies and dinosaurs equally.

Was Braxton invited?

- No.

- Oh.

- At least your boys didn't get nits

from Ivy's sister.

I'm sorry, okay?

I should've invited you.

- You're going to be more sorry

when you see this.

[suspenseful music playing]

I think your fairy had nits.

- I should have gone

with the more expensive Elsa.

- So, looks like the girls went home

with something a little more than a goodie bag.

So that means, it's actually your fault

that there are nits at Kate Sheppard.

- Let's not jump to conclusions.

- Well you were more than happy

to jump to conclusions

about Ivy's mum's parenting.

- Nits are good at jumping.

- At this point,

my voice message does seem a tad harsh.

- A tad?

- Ivy's mum is just pulling up.

- Nits!

[birds chirping]

[suspense music playing]

- You should say sorry.

- No, I hate apologising.

Makes it sound like I was wrong.

- Oh okay,

I've got an idea.

Trust me, just come and say sorry.

- Sorry.[In unison] - Sorry!

- Double jinx!

No talking, I have something to say.

Okay, I have nits,

but I am taking the precautions needed

to get rid of them, okay?

But it's not my fault

and there's nothing to be ashamed of.

Okay, nits happen,

the best thing we can do

is just be honest with each other

and get rid of them as soon as possible, okay?

Just be a little kinder to each other.

- Hm?

- Yeah, okay.

Heather and Ivy's mum,

I release you from your jinx.

- What the hell is a jinx?

Or is it karma's sister?

- No, it's some game that Jess played as a kid

that no one else has heard of.

- [mumbles]Hey, I'll just...

- Jinx. Everyone played jinx.

- The parents have been called

and will pick the girls up soon.

- Great.

- Mm-hm. And Crazy Hair Day's been postponed.

- It's probably for the best.

I'm really sorry about the party.

You honestly didn't miss much.

One kid literally screamed for ice cream.

- Hug?

- From the neck down.

[upbeat music playing]