Original subtitles

Is this it?

Pull into the driveway, baby.

You think I'm walking one step more than I have to in this heat?

Look, I really don't want to do this.

Yeah. Well, neither do I. Pull in.

And it's probably best to reach me in the mornings.

And I was referred by Yvonne White.

She loves you. I look forward to speaking.

Hello, Ms. Taylor. This is John Keene from Beacon Funeral Home.

We're still hoping to hear how you'd like to collect your father's cremains.

We can personally deliver the urn

or we're open for pick-up seven days a week.

Thank you, Ms. Taylor, and God bless.

in Treatment

LAILA Week One

Hello!

- So, this is your home? - It is.

Why are you standing there, letting out all the cold air?

Hello. Please, come in.

You can both help yourself to the hand sanitizer right there.

I heard so much about your office in Santa Monica.

- Marilyn Hudson says it's gorgeous. - You know Marilyn?

Everyone knows everyone around here, sweetheart. You know that.

I had a dietician once where I went to her house.

Couldn't afford the rent on an office.

Unfortunately, my office is in a medical building.

I still have concern about reopening there,

but this has worked out well enough.

I'm very sorry to hear about your father. I admired him.

- Thank you, Rhonda. - Is this all his original design?

Would you like to see my silverware drawer?

When I was young, my mom wouldn't let me sleep over at my friend's house

until she checked the forks to make sure they were all clean.

Why don't we have a seat?

So, how does this work? Two sessions? Three?

Ideally, I like to think of it as a process.

Sure, sure, but we're here for a specific problem. Aren't we, Laila?

My granddaughter here is choosing to be...

lesbian.

And this little girl needs to understand

the consequences of that choice in the real world.

I'm not saying I have any problem with it.

Love is love, but needs to understand that she was born Black.

She was born a woman.

And all that is hard enough without this other thing on top of it.

You see the news.

The gays and the lesbians are at higher risk for everything.

Failure, depression, addiction, failure.

And that...

Laila here is just too good for all that.

Hand to God, Laila, you are.

It has been my privilege to raise you up,

and there hasn't been one minute when I didn't want the very best for you.

I know, Grandma.

Rhonda, I have to ask what you're expecting,

because this will not be any sort of conversion therapy.

Who said conversion? I didn't say that.

I just want you to provide Laila with some tools and whatnot

for the real world.

She leaves for college in the fall, out from under my roof,

and I want her to be ready.

That's the long and the short of it.

And my hope for Laila

is for her to gain the clearest, fullest understanding of who she is,

and who she wants to be.

Nothing more.

I should get someone to look at these cuticles.

I'll be back in an hour. Keys?

Love you, baby.

So?

Laila, what school are you going to in fall?

- Berkeley, Yale, doesn't matter. - Why wouldn't it matter?

Is there really any difference between them?

Doesn't sound like you're too excited about the prospect of college.

Whatever Grandma wants, Grandma gets, right?

Laila, time we spend in here, it's yours.

Doesn't matter who brought you, or whatever their goals are.

You can talk about whatever you want.

Are you worried that I might be uncomfortable

discussing your sexual identity or preferences?

I don't know, let's find out. Let's talk about the fact that I'm a sex addict.

What's the definition of a sex addict, for you?

I imagine it's the same as yours;

a person who suffers from an intimacy disorder

characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts.

And why do you think that describes you?

I don't know. I feel like I'm addicted to sex.

Like I want to have sex all the time. So, yeah. I feel like I'm addicted.

What does sex mean to you? As in, how do you define sex?

I mean, anything. Everything?

- Is watching pornography; is that sex? - Sure. I love porn.

Mostly just sex-positive stuff, but also other stuff.

Sometimes I get bored when everyone's all soft and happy.

So, it depends on my mood.

It's, like, what flavor of the patriarchy do I want on my tongue today?

And do you masturbate while watching pornography?

Well, does anyone not?

- How often do you masturbate? - Every day.

Sometimes it's... I mean, some days. Most days.

And how often do you have sex with a partner? I.R.L.?

I.R.L. Relatable.

- My God. I'm joking. Fuck, every day. - Every day?

Sometimes it's less, but on average...

let's be judicious,

maybe, five to six times a week.

How are you navigating that during the pandemic?

Are you asking me if I'm safe? Cause there are ways. I'm always safe.

And does sex get in the way of school, or...

Not really?

So, you have enough time between your school work,

all your extracurricular activities,

the obligations a top-tier university require,

to also engage in near-daily sexual activities?

I never have as much sex as I want to.

Are you fulfilled by the sex you do have?

Sometimes?

Why have sex if you're not fulfilled?

That is such a straight lady thing to say.

I bet you have some romance novels around here somewhere.

Do you think anyone is straight?

- I don't know. Probably not. - But you do think I am. Why?

You and me, we're not the same. I mean, you're not, you know?

- Not what? - In touch... with your sexuality.

And why do you think you can tell me anything about my sexuality?

You're right. I can't. Sorry.

So, if you're not always fulfilled by your sexual encounters,

are you focused on others' arousal?

- I know what I am and that ain't it. - No?

What are you, Laila?

I thought that was your job, to help me understand myself.

Do you want me to do your job for you?

Honestly, it's been a week. I would love that.

All right.

Me.

I'm five-foot-six.

I have a 4.4 G.P.A.

I'm a textbook Pisces, love anime, and Mia McKenzie.

I played Mrs. Lambchop

in my 5th-grade production of The Musical Adventures of Flat Stanley.

- Wait, what's your sign? - Virgo.

Of course it is. All grounded, and analytical, and earthy, and shit.

And also plays well with Pisces.

You know about astrology?

I have been single long enough that I have had to learn.

All right...

What else?

You've met Grandma, so you know that's a whole thing.

You're never gonna meet my dad.

Sad face, because, I'm the only child of a workaholic.

So, my daddy cares more about his cars at his dealership

than he does about me,

and certainly more than he ever did about my mom.

Which is how he ran her off.

But he makes up for it by buying me whatever I want, whenever I want it.

So I'm a poor little rich girl with daddy issues,

hence and therefore, the sex addiction.

So, did I, like, did I do it? Did I... Do I get a prize?

Honestly, Laila, it doesn't seem like you welcome my perspective.

I imagine you expect me to disapprove.

- Of course you're gonna disapprove! - Why?

How old are you? I'm sorry, that's rude, but you gotta be at least, like, fifty.

Thank you! I'm seventy-two. Good Black don't crack.

I am 42.

So that makes you, like, Gen-X.

Apathetic, depressed, keeping it real when you were my age.

That's the stereotype.

Yeah. Keeping it so real you didn't do shit.

You didn't do shit about the environment, about global warming,

about mass incarceration, about civil rights,

about deportations, about fucking racism, about anything.

All you did is just make your macramé, and smoke your crack,

and, like, I don't know, go to clubs or something?

Crack and macramé?

Yeah. Y'all were like, "Whatever, I can just drink. I can do drugs."

"I can throw out all of this plastic shit."

"I can sit by and let niggas die, as long as I'm getting mine."

You guys did that forever, while the rest of the world burned.

- That's cute. - What's cute about that?

That fact that you have the nerve to try to tell me anything.

About how I choose to enjoy myself or my body.

Y'all left me with no hope, no fucking planet, no future.

So this? My body? That's all I have.

Why shouldn't I enjoy it while you fuck the rest of the world?

Someone who brings up global warming and racial injustice to defend sex

doesn't sound like someone who actually enjoys it.

So, you're saying that queer girls don't like sex?

I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about pleasure.

There's sexual pleasure, contact, pressure, release.

Yeah. I love all that.

But there is also the pleasure of comfort, of understanding.

People talk about butterflies, about electricity.

It's that feeling that can only be described

by the things we see so vibrantly, we feel them.

Yeah, that kind of pleasure. What's that you were thinking there?

What?

That look.

Wasn't nothing.

It's just... Sorry, this girl.

So, tell me about this girl.

She's just... Sorry. I don't know what to say. I really don't.

What's her name?

Why don't you just tell me what you like about her?

Do I have to?

Do you have to? No. Of course not.

But honestly, Laila, it kinda seems like you want to.

It's... Fuck. It's just the last thing I need, you know?

What's that?

Another know-it-all telling me what to do all the time.

The only thing I know, Laila, is that I don't know it all.

So, is that how you get all of your patients to do what you want?

You play dumb?

Come with me to the kitchen.

And, yes, you have to.

My first year of college was the first time the Easter Bunny didn't show.

Sad face.

So, I went and I cleared the aisle at Walgreens.

And tradition was born.

- Where'd you go to school? - Stanford, obviously.

Obviously?

There's a picture of me at six months in a Stanford onesie.

I didn't like having to do all the applications, but I liked the essays.

Some of the questions were, like, so dumb that they were smart, sometimes.

Like what?

One was imagining if you could email an object.

There was, like, a whole story about why,

but basically it was if you could pick your favorite thing in the world

and tell it anything you wanted.

Sounds like an interesting essay. What did you write about?

I ended up, maybe it's stupid, but I ended up writing to my Barbie.

And I'm fully aware that Barbie is highly problematic.

I wrote about that, too. How the waist to breast ratio is insane.

She doesn't have organs, and would fall over if she was a real person.

It's fake diversity

because they just make the white ones into all of these different colors,

and just pour different flavors into the same mold.

It's like setting up girls up to have a million different problems.

But I didn't know that when I was six.

I wrote that the reason that I played with Barbies when I was little

was because I got to be leader.

They played whatever game I wanted to play.

And playing with dolls means you can do whatever you want, so...

Sometimes it's nice to be in charge of something, sometimes.

I guess I got to feel what it was like to be in a leadership position.

- Sounds like it was a good essay. - Yeah.

I guess that's the thing.

- What? - The thing I like about Cara.

That's the name of your girl? Cara?

She wants me to make the plans, and she's cool to let me be in charge.

It sounds like she likes the ideas you have.

Maybe it's that she looks up to me a little bit?

Cara younger than you, Laila?

What?

I mean, like, not in, like, a weird way. She's a freshman.

So, that makes her how old?

- Age ain't nothing but a number. - Do you know who wrote that song?

I don't know. It's from before I was born.

You should Google it.

I ask because you realize you're 18,

and she's, what, 14? 15?

- She's not, like, a little kid. - I understand that. I'm not...

We're, like, the same exact person, so...

But based on your description of your sexual habits,

I'm assuming you're in an intimate relationship.

Yeah, but we're both in high school,

so I don't understand why you're making it...

Do you just wanna tell me what to say?

What to say? What do you mean?

Just give me a script, and I can say it, and we can be done!

- I wouldn't do that, Laila. - Then what am I supposed to do?

Are you asking me how therapy works?

Whatever.

If I could sum up the best version in one word, it would be authenticity.

You know what that means?

Genuine. Real.

The sense that things or people are what they claim or appear to be.

So, does that go for you, too? You get all real when you're in here?

Sometimes to a fault.

I did that today and it didn't make me feel any better, so...

So, you were completely authentic in here today.

I told you about my sex addiction.

Who would tell you it in all of that detail if it wasn't real?

And I told you about Cara, so if you don't recognize the truth in that,

I don't know what to tell you.

But what have you told me about you?

Outside of the labels, or the relationships you have, or your G.P.A.?

None of that is capital-Y, You.

Okay, here's me being real.

I don't feel like I'm getting the full picture from you, Laila.

Glimpses here and there, yes,

but the moment things start to come into focus, it's, like... it's gone.

But you know what? That's on me.

I know I need to earn your trust, not demand it.

But sometimes, in my desire to help,

I have trouble accepting that things may not happen on my timeline

or may not happen at all.

You know you don't have to be here, right, Laila?

You're eighteen. Nobody can force you into this.

Yeah, but if I don't play along, you'll dime me out to my grandma.

As your therapist, anything that's said in here is completely confidential.

You're right. I am required to report any reasonable suspicion

that a patient is a danger to themselves or others.

But beyond that, if I disclose anything, I'm in danger of losing my license.

But if I don't disclose anything, then... we're good either way.

How about this? If you don't want to be here,

I'll dig up a few pamphlets for your grandma on L.G.B.T.Q.-plus support.

And I'll tell her your queer identity isn't an issue for you.

I believe that is true, but if there is something else you want to talk about...

That's Grandma. I gotta go.

We still have a few more minutes, if you...

Sure. After you sass Rhonda and get her all in her feelings,

she'll be cool to just, like, wait in the car?

- Are you trying to get me killed? - Of course not.

You look so sad. Come on, Dr. T. This was...

fun.

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