Original subtitles

[Crash] Yay! Monster truck rally!

Man.

You know, this almost makes up for mom taking us to "The Nutcracker."

That show was not what I thought it was gonna be.

[shouting] Where are our seats?

Why are you yelling?

My mom made me wear earplugs!

It's not that loud.

She said there might be some salty language.

Ooh! Souvenirs.

You like my hat?

Huh?

The guy selling worthless junk said it was lucky.

Eww. Ugly hat.

It looks like you're hiding a possum.

Thanks. I think you're awesome.

Ooh! Floor pretzel at 10:00!

Oh. Oh, yeah.

This is definitely my lucky hat.

Get your official monster truck dirt.

Dirt, dirt!

By... [whispers] Cleo.

Cleo, nobody is stupid enough to buy a jar of dirt.

Yeah.

Especially after I spent all my money on a bag of sky.

Why are we here?

I promised Wyatt and Crash that we'd do a guy thing with them.

It's the only way they'd shut up about "The Nutcracker."

That show was not what I expected.

Hey, come on, kids. You're in the wrong section.

Our seats are way up there.

You said you bought us great seats.

I did. 49 rows away from the mud.

[announcer] Attention, Muddy Melee fans.

-That's us. - It's time for the seat upgrade lottery.

-Oh, oh, oh. - Lucky fan in seat 49b...

[gasps]

... your party's moving to the f-f-f-f-front row.

Crash, that's you! We get to sit in the front row!

We're gonna rub butts with the fancy people.

Yes!

-Wow. These are great seats. -Yeah.

What's with all the plastic on the ground?

[screaming]

Eww!

That... was... awesome!

There is mud in my underpants!

I love you, lucky hat.

Oh.

♪ Let me tell you about the Bernsteins ♪

♪ Yo, I'ma let you finish ♪

-♪ But ding-dong ♪ -♪ Who's that? ♪

♪ Yo, it's Crash at the door ♪

♪ Don't wait for you to open Kick it down hard core ♪

♪ A purple with a 'tude Where your mom hide the food? ♪

♪ In the fridge I'ma eat it then we tear it up, dude ♪

♪ No make-up or feelings Tea parties or dolls ♪

♪ Now it's ninjas and football ♪

-♪ And face slams ♪ -♪ Good call ♪

♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪

♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪

♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪

♪ What he said ♪

♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪

♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪

♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪

♪ What he said ♪

♪ It's war against awesome But awesome's gotta soar ♪

-♪ I'll be grounded forever ♪ -♪ That's what friends are for ♪

♪ Crash and Bernstein Crash and Bernstein ♪

-♪ Crash and Bern... ♪ -♪ I said "Stein" ♪

♪ What he said ♪

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[engine revs]

You are going down, dollhouse.

Yee-haw!

[Crash shouts]

Whoa.

Sweet wheels, huh, Bernstein?

How'd you get Jasmine to let you modify her princess glitter car?

I went into her room and said, "Jasmine, are you here?"

And nobody answered.

After that, it was easy.

I think it's the lucky hat.

I once had a lucky arrowhead.

[gasps] How'd you know it was lucky?

The day I found it, a bat flew into Amanda's hair.

Whoa.

That is an arrowhead with serious mojo.

Where is it?

I lost it.

And how many bats have flown into Amanda's hair since?

Zero.

Terrible.

Come on. Let's get down to the batting cages.

The home run challenge starts tomorrow.

My dollhouse!

Crash, why would you do that to my--?

[horn honking]

[inaudible]

I'm sorry. Were you saying something?

Yes. I was saying--

[horn honking]

[inaudible]

[horn honking]

[chuckles]

[chewing] Are you full yet?

That's a good boy.

What are you doing?

Thanks to my lucky hat, I found a stick bug.

-No. It's a stick. -Bug.

-It's a stick. -Bug.

-Crash, that's just a stick. -Bug.

There's an alligator in my bathtub.

Oh, that's Bruce.

I fell in the sewer and landed right on top of him.

Once again, lucky hat.

There's no such thing as a lucky hat.

Shoes, sure. But that's obvious.

[chewing] Chew your food.

-Why are you feeding that stick? -Bug.

-No, it's a stick. -Bug.

Crash, it's just a stick.

Bug.

[doorbell rings]

Hey, Wyatt.

You ready to knock some out of the park?

I'm feeling loose. How about you?

A little bit.

But that might just be the broccoli I had for lunch.

Excuse me.

You couldn't have done that at home?

[groans]

I'm sorry you won't be winning the home run thingy.

I will because I'll be wearing my lucky hat.

[screams]

Crash. What's wrong?

My hat! It's gone!

I'm sure it's here someplace.

What am I gonna do?

What if my luck disappears?

Crash, you were lucky way before you found that hat.

I mean, you're a toy.

And you're alive.

I need to run a luck check.

I was right!

Bruce the alligator is missing!

Bernstein, we gotta find that hat.

[Pesto shrieks]

I think Pesto found your alligator.

To calm him down, tickle him on the stomach.

[Pesto] I'm not doing that.

I was talking to Bruce.

[sighs]

- [bell rings] - [boys gasp]

Whoa.

That's seven homers.

You're definitely gonna be in the finals.

Yeah. I'm really feeling it.

You did okay, too.

Maybe someday, they'll have a grounders challenge.

They really should.

Some of those balls were sharply hit.

How can you guys think about baseball when I am missing my lucky hat?

Crash, relax. We'll find your dumb hat.

[gasps] It is not a dumb hat.

It is a lucky hat

that just so happens to make the person wearing it

look dumb!

Come on. It's your turn to bat.

Oh, no.

I'm not going in there without my lucky hat.

You have to bat.

I can't be the only one who didn't hit a home run.

I have a bad feeling about this.

[grunts] See?

If I had my lucky hat, that would not have happened.

If you didn't stand in front of the pitching machine,

that wouldn't have happened.

Don't you dare mix up my words so they make sense.

Ow! Again!

What are the odds of getting hit in

the exact same spot twice in a row?

Actually, they're pretty good.

[grunts]

All right. That's it.

You want a piece of me, ball machine?

[groans]

I will take that as a yes.

Oh!

[spits]

Hey. I just had an idea.

To get out of the way?

No.

I bet I can't find my lucky hat

because somebody stole it!

Who would steal your hat?

Why don't you tell me, Pesto?

If that's your real name!

Go on. Spill it! Hat stealer!

I didn't steal your hat.

Oh, you didn't?

Huh. In that case,

this investigation's gonna take longer than I thought.

[bell rings]

Home run!

[chuckles]

Oh, come on.

♪ Let me hear you say Crash! ♪

♪ Crash! ♪

-Let's review the suspects. -Okay.

What are you clowns doing?

When you said you wanted the boiler room to build a case,

I thought you meant a bookcase.

I'm glad you're here, Mr. Poulos.

My partner and I would like to ask you a few questions.

Well, make it snappy.

I got a cappella practice in an hour.

All right.

You're the bad cop, I'm the good cop.

No, I'd be a bad good cop.

But you wouldn't be a good bad cop.

Maybe it'd be good if I'm the bad cop and you're the good cop.

But just for now. Not for good.

-How's that sound? -Bad.

Good.

Mr. Poulos, how you doing?

You look terrific. Have you been working out?

Don't need to. I just switched to rice milk.

All right. We won't keep you for long. Have you seen this hat anywhere?

-No. -Out of my way!

I'll break this guy.

We want answers, mister.

I am willing to wait here all day.

Is he about to crack, Bernstein?

The sun's in my eyes.

Crash, I told you, I didn't steal your hat.

Mm-hmm. We'll see about that.

I'll ask you a few simple questions

to make sure the lie detector is working.

Is your name Cleo?

Yes.

Excellent.

Do you live in Portland?

Yes.

Good.

Have you ever told a lie?

Yes.

Liar!

Oh, oh!

You can't fool modern science.

Especially two-ply.

Okay. We're done here.

Not so fast, sister.

I need to dust for prints.

Aah!

Knock it off.

Actually, why don't you dust all my snow globes?

They're loaded with prints.

You are going down.

[muttering] Prints here.

Oh, and if you really want to recreate the crime scene,

you should make my bed.

Oh.

I'll make it.

I'll make it good!

I'll do your homework too if I have to!

[sighs]

Crash, you missed it. I won the home run challenge.

Congratulations.

Are you petting your shoe?

Just spending some quality time with my loved ones.

Doing all the things I never got to do with my lucky hat.

I love you, shoey.

Wyatt, I found that rock you lost.

Wow, thanks.

But this isn't a rock, it's my lucky arrowhead.

Hmm.

How very lucky for you.

You know, I think I just had a break in my case.

If anyone wants me, I'll be in my crime lab.

But I am not to be disturbed!

Unless you're making three bean casserole. Are you making three bean casserole?

No.

Two bean?

One bean?

Come on! One bean?

No beans.

[sighs] Then I am not to be disturbed!

Hey, Mom. I won the home run challenge.

[gasps] Way to go!

-Want to hear something funny? -Sure.

I really did make three bean casserole.

[chuckles]

Crash? You in here?

I brought you a bean.

Oh, great.

Detective dumb butt thinks I stole his hat.

I don't know who this detective dumb butt is,

but he must be pretty smart.

Because I think you did it too.

Get ready to face the music.

[mariachi music playing]

-[grunts] -[music stops]

Never mind, I'll do it myself.

Bah bum bumm!

That's suspense.

Crash, if I stole your hat, why haven't you seen me wearing it?

Maybe you wear it at night

and store up all the luck in your hair for the next day!

You're the only guy around here who stores stuff in his hair.

Hmm? What? Hey!

That's my backup cheese.

And considering your reputation,

I'm not gonna tell you where I put my up front cheese.

I am keeping my eye on you.

[grunts]

You've been warned.

Yes, I have. Do you want your eye back?

No! I want justice.

[grunts]

Want your eye now?

Yeah. If you don't mind.

Hey. Look at me.

I'm a cyclone!

I called you all here to let you know I've solved the case.

Case of what? You got rid of that fungus?

My stolen hat.

And no.

Well, in that case, stop using my towels.

They all smell like mushroom.

Now everyone in this room was a suspect in the case of the missing hat.

I'll take each of you in alphabetical order.

Jasmine, you're first.

Why? Amanda's name starts with "a."

Oh, you want to use that alphabet.

Fine. I did suspect Amanda.

[Crash] After all, she loves fashion almost as much as she loves herself.

Oh, hey, Taylor.

O-m-g-c-t-h-t-c-h.

Translation: "Oh, my gosh.

Crash totally has the cutest hat."

What? You think I should steal it?

A-i. Translation: "Awesome idea."

FYI, I totally don't talk like that.

OMG, I totally do.

Then I realized, Amanda wasn't there when the hat disappeared.

See? I'm innocent.

Because she'd taken Mrs. B's credit card

and snuck out to the mall.

As this receipt proves.

Amanda! What did I tell you about my credit card?

Before you get mad,

look at this purse.

That is nice.

Well, my card, my purse.

I also suspected Cleo.

Crash, I own 78 hats.

Why would I need yours?

Well, I was snooping on Amanda's phone.

The GPS revealed

Cleo had taken it to the arcade!

You took my phone?

[mimicking Cleo] Amanda refuses to take me to the mall with her,

so I am texting her new crush

that he has scrawny ankles.

I call it, "Revenge," by... Cleo.

Is it me?

Amanda thinks I have scrankles?

Oh.

That's why Pesto keeps texting me pictures of his ankles.

Crash, let's hurry this up.

I'm getting to you.

Obviously, Mrs. B wanted my hat.

But she was otherwise occupied.

[Crash] She was ironing Jasmine's new princess dress,

but she got distracted dreaming of how awesome life would be

without daughters.

Hmm.

[mimicking Mel] if only it was just me and the boys.

I'd have time to make Crash's three bean casserole.

Hmm?

[gasps]

Oh, oh. [gasps]

Oh, daughters!

Why, why!

[sobbing]

[normal voice] Ow!

Oh, that's hot.

You told me Mr. Poulos did this.

Oh, really nice, Mel.

It's called parenting, Marty. Get over it.

Ah, but Mr. Poulos was guilty of something that day.

[Crash] He came to fix a faucet,

but was distracted by Jasmine's Sparkle The Wonder Horse game.

[game music playing]

[mimicking Mr. Poulos] Lollipop village, prepare to be conquered.

Pew, pew, pew, pew.

[chuckles]

[Crash] He played until the batteries ran out.

Rats.

Just when my unicorn was about to inherit fairy powers.

[grunts] Where's my swear jar?

Whoa.

[barking]

Bark.

Forget the hat. I'm the real victim here.

The real victims are the citizens of Gumdrop Grove

now that Captain Cinnamon Bun is out of the game.

[laughing]

[all laugh]

What? You don't get to pick your name.

But it wasn't Mr. Poulos.

Which leaves only one suspect!

And that one suspect...

is Crash.

[gasps] Liar!

You have no proof!

Oh, I do.

-If I may. -Oh, certainly.

Thank you.

Now I figured since Crash was the last one to see the hat,

I should start my investigation there.

But first, I had to think like Crash.

[sighs]

Ooh! Bed meat!

[chewing]

Where's my lucky hat?

[sighs]

[thunder rumbles]

Yay! Sky go boom!

Steak slam!

Crash ran outside to enjoy his favorite rainy day activity.

Rolling down the windows of Mr. Poulos' van.

You did that?

[laughing]

No.

But Crash didn't want the rain to wash the luck off of his lucky hat.

[Wyatt] So he found a hat for his hat.

There hatty. That'll keep you dry.

Sorry, rainy. I don't have a hat for you.

You guys ready to solve this mystery?

Oh.

[Wyatt] Ta-da.

Hatty? Is it you?

Oh, I feel lucky already.

I'm leaving.

It's working!

Freeze.

Sparkles The Wonder Horse stays here.

Oh. [chuckles]

How'd that get in there?

I thought that was my crescent wrench.

Tell your story walking.

-Crash, I'm glad you found your hat. -Thanks.

And kids, this counted as family time for the week.

[all cheering]

Well, Bernstein,

it takes a big man to admit when he's wrong.

I'm waiting.

I wasn't wrong about anything.

Apology accepted.

Oh, and you can have the hat.

I don't need luck when I have the best friend in the whole wide world.

Dude. That's a cool thing to say.

-Thanks for-- -Hello, friend.

-Crash, that's just a stick. -Bug.

-No, it's a stick. -Bug.

-It's a stick. -Bug.

-Bug. -Stick.

Ha ha!

[announcer] Attention truckers and truckettes,

now entering the mud,

it's the Ignoramus.

[engine revs]

Yeah! Yeah!

[chuckles]

Hey, Bernstein.

Check me out!

No truck is gonna out-monster me!

[announcer] Now the moment you've all been waiting for.

The Out-monsterer!

Uh...

Did you steal that from your little sister too?

She must be a pretty big gal.

[Crash] Whoo-hoo!

[trucks crashing]

Oh!

[grunts]

Hey, Bernstein.

I'm gonna need my lucky hat back.

Oh, oh, oh.

♪ Crash and Bern, hardcore ♪

♪ Bass, Bass ♪

♪ What ♪

♪ That's what friends are for ♪

♪ Crash and Bern ♪

♪ Tear it up, dude ♪

♪ Good call ♪

♪ Crash and Bern, Crash and Bern ♪

-♪ I said Stein ♪ -♪ What he said ♪