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1
00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:03,479
Previously
on Black Monday...
2
00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:05,005
As far as we can tell,
3
00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:07,507
we're in one of those
off-the-books NYPD black sites.
4
00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:10,635
We are here because
this guy set us up.
5
00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:13,906
Dawn Darcy,
you have the tools
6
00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:15,348
to be a superstar here,
7
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:16,349
which is why I want to give you
8
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:17,910
total control of your own label.
9
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:20,020
You heard him. Mo
will never let me out.
10
00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:21,998
I have a friend who just
got this new white rapper
11
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,916
out of a deal by hanging
him over a balcony
12
00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:24,858
allegedly.
13
00:00:24,899 --> 00:00:26,026
Well, that's terrifying.
14
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:27,211
I want what's best for you guys,
15
00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:28,546
which is why you got to take it.
16
00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,030
Take Nomi with you.
17
00:00:30,071 --> 00:00:32,174
I think you said you'd do
anything to get Dawnie out.
18
00:00:32,198 --> 00:00:34,409
If Pfaffashions
goes public without a hitch,
19
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:36,327
KokoMo Co Records stays yours.
20
00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:37,847
- One of the heads
21
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,932
of the NASDAQ's coming
to sign off on the IPO.
22
00:00:39,956 --> 00:00:42,917
All I have to do is provide
a venue safe from his wife,
23
00:00:42,959 --> 00:00:44,252
and then the IPO is good to go.
24
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:45,712
Douglas!
25
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,630
- Oh!
26
00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:49,632
Doug, will you still be signing?
27
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:55,555
Blair? Oh, Blair?
28
00:00:55,597 --> 00:01:00,393
I've got a surprise for you.
29
00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:04,147
Creepy music.
30
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:06,191
You've been going
through so much,
31
00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:08,902
what, with the repeated
attempts on your life
32
00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:11,362
and repeated deaths of
everyone around you.
33
00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:16,868
You must not know
who to trust anymore.
34
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:20,455
I bet that's
the most stressful part...
35
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:23,041
The not knowing.
36
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:26,920
Well, I think I can relieve
some of that stress.
37
00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:29,089
Ow.
38
00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:31,424
Mmm.
39
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:34,094
I miss our old life, Blair.
40
00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:36,638
Why did you have
to ruin everything?
41
00:01:36,679 --> 00:01:39,724
Nope, no, no. Today's
not about blame.
42
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:43,978
Today's about
43
00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:45,814
relief.
44
00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:50,735
I knew you were home.
45
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,445
This is gonna be fun.
46
00:01:57,242 --> 00:02:01,454
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
47
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:05,375
Speaking of our old life
48
00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,418
are you back in the closet?
49
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,971
- Going somewhere?
- Oh!
50
00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:19,305
Gotcha!
51
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:21,951
- Mommy!
52
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,935
Tiff, what's going on?
53
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,980
I told you, it's a
surprise. Now, hit this.
54
00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:29,149
I hope I didn't get
any glass in there.
55
00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:31,151
But you're the
expert. Am I right?
56
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,362
Seriously, though,
chug with care.
57
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,496
Hit you with a rhythm
you ain't heard before.
58
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,516
Looking for what's new,
tell me what's in store.
59
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,500
Wow.
60
00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:50,170
Momo, this is really good.
61
00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:52,505
Who knew all I needed
to appreciate jazz
62
00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:54,608
was a complete other kind
of music laid on top of it?
63
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:58,887
- Okay, okay.
- Watch this.
64
00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:00,805
- Okay, horrible.
65
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,974
- Oh, fucking genius.
66
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,851
- Ugh, sucks ass.
67
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,537
- Oh, oh, I love it.
68
00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:08,354
- Okay.
- Okay, kill me, kill me.
69
00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:09,957
Yeah, we get it, we get
it, we get it, we get it.
70
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,834
Well, if you hate genuine art
with any kind of substance,
71
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,026
you're gonna love L.A.
72
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,486
- Oh, fresh take.
- Yeah.
73
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,131
What's next, huh? You're
gonna do five minutes
74
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,049
on how the bagels are
bad 'cause of the water?
75
00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:20,718
Do not get me started
on their pizza.
76
00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:26,849
I can't believe you're actually
leaving tonight, Dawnie.
77
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,042
- I'm really gonna miss you.
78
00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:30,627
Yeah.
79
00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:32,795
Soft music.
80
00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:35,006
Hey, uh, you know,
81
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,692
I need your opinion
on some shit, too.
82
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,344
Like, C or D?
83
00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:41,930
The track's in B flat.
84
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:44,724
No, I mean, I don't
want to be flat.
85
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,392
Oh, you're getting titties.
86
00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:48,353
- Yeah!
- All right.
87
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,247
Come on, Mo, it's L.A. You
know, bitches get stitches.
88
00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:52,440
- This is true.
- Yeah, yeah.
89
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,585
Now, you said you'd give me
your opinion on shit, so...
90
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:57,862
Well, my honest opinion is you
don't mess with perfection.
91
00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,614
Momo, that's sweet.
92
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:01,157
But I'd go C.
93
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:03,219
The golden booby-to-booty
ratio is three to four,
94
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,286
and, you know, you
got D ass, so...
95
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,455
- Yes, and that is D truth.
96
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:08,831
That's funny.
97
00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:10,833
With everything that's
come between us,
98
00:04:10,875 --> 00:04:12,686
it seems all we
really needed to come
99
00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:16,089
- between us was 2,500 miles.
- Hmm.
100
00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:17,590
You're trying to think
101
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:19,068
of a "come between us"
joke right now, aren't you?
102
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,778
Yeah, when you said
it the second time,
103
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,947
and I'm kind of in the area
of, you know, we're closer now
104
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,056
than when there was
actual come between us.
105
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,266
But that felt a little crass.
106
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:27,618
- No, not terrible.
- You like that?
107
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:29,185
Yeah.
108
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,107
Well, uh...
109
00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:35,751
Hey, look, your red-eye's
not till midnight, right?
110
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,235
Mm.
111
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,963
Well, the guys are
coming back in at seven.
112
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,547
Why don't you come
back and check 'em out?
113
00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:43,408
I'd really love to
get your ears on 'em.
114
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:45,451
Yeah, of course.
115
00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:46,953
Okay, cool.
116
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:51,666
And thank you, you know,
just for everything.
117
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:53,126
Oh, come on, stop it.
118
00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:55,044
- Stop it.
119
00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:00,925
- Okay.
- Yeah.
120
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,969
I made us lunch.
121
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:05,054
- You made it?
- Hmm.
122
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:07,849
Notice anything special?
123
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,102
My mom's famous frozen lasagne,
124
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:15,356
instant mashed potatoes,
and Mountain Dew.
125
00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:16,899
My death row meal.
126
00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:19,986
I always forget
how Florida your palate is.
127
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:23,781
What's the big occasion?
I'm not dying, am I?
128
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,241
Oh, you just reminded me.
129
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:27,243
I forgot the poison.
130
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:29,829
- Poison?
- Be right back.
131
00:05:33,207 --> 00:05:36,127
Suspenseful music.
132
00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:40,340
- Everything okay?
- Yes.
133
00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:42,276
Poison's "Every Rose
Has Its Thorn" playing.
134
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,843
Have you heard this?
135
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:45,345
It's so us.
136
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:53,074
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==-
137
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:57,607
We both lie silently still.
138
00:05:57,648 --> 00:06:00,610
In the dead of the night.
139
00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:04,238
Although we both
lie close together.
140
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:07,533
We feel miles apart inside.
141
00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:11,120
Was it something I said
or something I did?
142
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:14,248
Did my words not come out right?
143
00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:17,835
Though I tried not to hurt you.
144
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,587
Though I tried.
145
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:21,798
But I guess that's why they say.
146
00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:24,717
Every rose.
147
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:27,220
Has its thorn.
148
00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:31,057
Just like every night.
149
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:35,061
Has its dawn.
150
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:38,689
Just like every cowboy.
151
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:42,151
Sings a sad, sad song.
152
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:46,739
Every rose has its thorn
153
00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:50,827
Bon appe-titties.
154
00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:53,746
Creepy music.
155
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,644
- Did you swap our glasses?
- How would you even know that?
156
00:06:58,668 --> 00:06:59,919
'Cause my Dew is diet
157
00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:01,397
'cause my insulin
is jacked from years
158
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:05,383
of the ole two-finger dessert.
159
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,152
- Are you trying to kill me?
- No, you're trying to kill me!
160
00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:08,594
- What?
- Come on, Tiff!
161
00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:09,929
What are you talking about?
162
00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:11,740
The tarps, the torture
tools, my death row meal.
163
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,700
Even if you didn't poison
it, your cooking alone.
164
00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:14,976
Good one, Leno.
165
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,537
We always knew it
would end like this.
166
00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:19,230
These aren't torture
tools. These are spa tools.
167
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,417
Cuticle nippers, skin
needler, bone sander.
168
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:22,918
Well, that one is
a torture device,
169
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,695
but it's great for bunions.
170
00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:28,072
I do have worse bunions
than a sitcom mother-in-law.
171
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:30,116
Exactly. I'm not
trying to kill you.
172
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:31,534
I'm trying to pamper you
173
00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:33,369
like we used to when
we had no money.
174
00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:35,222
Well, I had money, but you
wouldn't let me spend it.
175
00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:37,206
Don't you remember?
176
00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:40,084
Pamper du Pauper!
177
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,462
Oh, America's finest at-home spa
178
00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:44,755
for the poor and
disen-Canyon Ranch-ized.
179
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:46,966
Put that sword away and
stop trying to kill me.
180
00:07:47,008 --> 00:07:48,301
Oh, argh.
181
00:07:48,342 --> 00:07:49,987
I'm gonna cut you up, you bitch.
182
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,974
Oh, God, we used
to have so much fun
183
00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:58,478
just mud masking and gossiping
and waxing each other's...
184
00:07:58,519 --> 00:07:59,997
I can't believe I didn't
know you were gay.
185
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,939
Imagine my surprise.
186
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:03,232
Ugh, we haven't done that
187
00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:05,074
since we lived in
that horrid apartment.
188
00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:07,236
I miss that place, and
I miss our old life,
189
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,173
before you started working
at the Jammer Group
190
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,049
and before I started
working full stop.
191
00:08:11,073 --> 00:08:12,658
You were my best friend.
192
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:14,577
I mean, I know our
orgasms were fake,
193
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:17,914
but our love was
real, wasn't it?
194
00:08:17,955 --> 00:08:19,749
God! What has happened to me?
195
00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:22,084
My oldest friend tries to
do something nice for me,
196
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:23,520
and I think she's
trying to kill me.
197
00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:25,713
It has gotten away
from us a bit.
198
00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:28,466
Come on, do you honestly
think I'd do my own wet work?
199
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,194
Well, no, you'd farm
that shit out like Yoko.
200
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:32,345
I'm sorry.
201
00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:34,072
It's just been a while
since I've had a friend.
202
00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:35,681
You have friends.
203
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:38,851
Mo, Dawn, the Muslim fella,
that guy with no eyebrows.
204
00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:40,871
- I want to say Yawn?
- It's 'cause of your dyslexia.
205
00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,605
- Wayne.
- Oh.
206
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:44,875
Wayne exploded at the black
site I dragged everybody to
207
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:46,376
when I thought they
were trying to kill me.
208
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,378
Yikes, I mean, I get
why Yawn was mad, but...
209
00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:51,197
No, Yawn literally exploded.
210
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,283
I keep
trying to apologize,
211
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,619
and they just send
back my fruit baskets.
212
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,305
Please don't tell me
you're trying to apologize
213
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,831
for a black site
with a fruit basket.
214
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,124
Fancy candle?
215
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,293
Take it from a kidnap survivor.
216
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:06,837
You need to apologize
in person, okay?
217
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:08,839
Just go, go now, go.
218
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,591
No, what about Pamper du Pauper?
219
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,736
Well, today was supposed to be
all about taking care of you,
220
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,971
anyway, so let's start
with your insides?
221
00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:16,305
Really?
222
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:17,950
Yes, I will not take
no for an answer.
223
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:20,935
And besides, my horse Nair
takes 90 minutes to congeal.
224
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,070
Your muff is as
tough as you are.
225
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:30,736
Suspenseful music
226
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,660
Hello?
227
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,595
- Surprise!
- Jesus fuck!
228
00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:58,055
- Oh, it's fucking geek patrol.
- Fucking Pfaff.
229
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,390
I'm guessing this isn't for me.
230
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,951
Really? I mean, it
could be a "thanks"
231
00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:03,120
"for getting us all jacked up
by the fucking pigs" party.
232
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:04,788
Yeah, we should beat
your fucking ass.
233
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:06,790
- Okay, that's why I'm here.
- To get your ass beat?
234
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:08,357
Mm, fight, fight, fight.
235
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:09,692
And, Karen, I swear to God.
236
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,253
Giancarlo, what
are you doing here?
237
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,463
Tiff took away my allowance
for trying to kiss her face.
238
00:10:13,487 --> 00:10:15,281
She's so strict.
239
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:16,616
Hey, hey, Blair.
240
00:10:16,657 --> 00:10:18,051
What the fuck are
you doing here?
241
00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:20,953
Okay, I've been thinking
a lot about everything,
242
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,472
and I've decided...
243
00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:24,957
Oh, everybody, hide.
Hide, hide, hide.
244
00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:26,167
Places, people.
245
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:28,252
Giancarlo, you
better cake yourself!
246
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,129
Lights, lights.
247
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:32,611
Get down, get down.
Hide, hide, hide, hide, hide.
248
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:35,801
Surprise!
249
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:38,095
Oh, God,
shithead number two.
250
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:39,930
You guys remembered my birthday.
251
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,783
I thought no one in the
world cared about me.
252
00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,493
No one does care about
you, Keith, okay?
253
00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:45,603
This is a going-away
party for Dawn,
254
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,289
and if you ruin it,
I swear to fuck.
255
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,606
You swear to fuck who?
256
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,691
Karen, you were
already on the bubble
257
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,777
for this thing to
begin with, okay?
258
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,338
- Wait, where's Dawn going?
- Wait a second.
259
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:55,505
You invite Blair and
fucking Giancarlo,
260
00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:56,572
and you don't invite me?
261
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:57,615
L.A.
262
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,842
- He's the stripper.
- Who, Blair?
263
00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:00,576
- Giancarlo.
- What?
264
00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:03,162
Oh, I just want to kill myself.
265
00:11:03,204 --> 00:11:05,289
What are you doing here, Keith?
266
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:09,085
Look, I, um...
I've been thinking
267
00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:10,979
a lot about everything,
and I quit Leighman...
268
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:13,506
No, no, no, I've been thinking
a lot about everything,
269
00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:14,941
and what I would
like to say is...
270
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:19,095
Okay, all right, just
shut the fuck up and hide.
271
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:20,680
Hide. Carlo, cake.
272
00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:23,307
- Keith, if you fuck this up...
- I won't ruin anything.
273
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:24,534
Get under the desk,
you dumb shit.
274
00:11:24,558 --> 00:11:26,977
Hide, hide. Put
the cigarette out.
275
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:28,396
- Quiet.
- Put it out.
276
00:11:28,437 --> 00:11:29,706
- Put it out.
- Got to be quiet.
277
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:30,981
Shut the fuck up!
278
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:34,735
Surprise!
279
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:38,698
Oh, wow!
280
00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:42,159
I did not expect a
welcome like that
281
00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:43,869
or any welcome.
282
00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:45,037
What the fuck, Lar?
283
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:46,664
Uh, Keith, didn't I fire you?
284
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,916
Well, I don't see how
that's actually relevant,
285
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,435
but it is the reason
why I'm here, Mo,
286
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:51,711
because, um, like I said.
287
00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:53,063
I've been thinking
about a lot of things...
288
00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:54,272
No, no, no. I've been
thinking a lot first.
289
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:55,840
Oh, Jesus.
290
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:57,317
You know, actually, I've
been thinking about things
291
00:11:57,341 --> 00:11:58,902
since about a year ago when
I got hit by that taxi cab.
292
00:11:58,926 --> 00:12:00,821
No, I was going back before
that, around Black Monday...
293
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,364
See, it was a couple months
before that, when I was...
294
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,932
What do the two of you want?
295
00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:06,868
- A job.
- Forgiveness.
296
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:09,353
Great, you got it, okay?
Now everybody hide.
297
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:13,065
Giancarlo, back in
the cake. You too!
298
00:12:13,107 --> 00:12:14,668
You meant
that about the job?
299
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,336
Yes, you
can have the fucking job.
300
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,237
Uh, uh, no, Mo, not
to be a party pooper,
301
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:20,322
but you can't hire
Keith, only I can.
302
00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:21,907
You just fired him.
303
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:25,244
I did fire him for fucking
up the Pfaffashions IPO,
304
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:28,080
which is why you can't hire him.
305
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:30,082
- Okay, uh...
- Oh, fuck, no.
306
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,752
- What?
- Oh!
307
00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,479
Mo didn't tell you
he put his label up
308
00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:36,213
for collateral against the IPO
309
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,816
so he could get
Dawn out of jail?
310
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,801
And Mr. Shankar didn't tell
you he shanked the IPO meeting?
311
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,887
You merkin-headed motherfucker.
312
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:44,489
Technically, it's
not a done deal.
313
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,932
So, as I was saying,
"Ooh, surprise!"
314
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:51,103
I now own KokoMo Co Records,
315
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,497
although I'm pretty sure
anybody could've seen
316
00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:54,315
that coming from
the very beginning.
317
00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:57,234
So I'm sorry, Keith.
You are not hired.
318
00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:58,545
We're moving in a
different direction.
319
00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:00,005
And speaking of
different directions,
320
00:13:00,029 --> 00:13:01,840
Dawn will not be going in
one because she's the only
321
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:05,075
profitable part of
this shitty label.
322
00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:07,536
You know what?
323
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:10,539
Maybe I don't hate being
a party pooper after all.
324
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:12,792
Is all that true, Mo?
325
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,795
- Surprise!
- Karen!
326
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:17,481
- What the fuck, Karen?
- No, Mo.
327
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:18,881
What the fuck?
328
00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:22,134
Okay, look, Dawn. I
can explain everything.
329
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:27,807
Oh, you want me
330
00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:29,618
- to actually try to do that?
- Yeah.
331
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,453
This is usually the part
where people just storm out.
332
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:32,662
And didn't Larry kind
of just take us through
333
00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:33,562
the basic beats of
the whole thing?
334
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,314
I did.
335
00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:37,417
Dawn, look, it's what I had to
do to get you out of prison.
336
00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:40,611
I told you. Stop
trying to save me!
337
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,823
Now I hear it. Sure.
338
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:45,658
Is now a good time
to do my thing?
339
00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:47,052
- It's not, Blair.
- Turn the fuck around!
340
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,203
Copy that.
341
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:52,331
Electronic music.
342
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:53,791
Ooh.
343
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:03,259
Babe? Did you
forget your keys again?
344
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:10,266
Okay, coming.
345
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:14,854
I'm coming! Sheesh!
346
00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:18,708
Oh, my God, how
are you? Look cute!
347
00:14:18,732 --> 00:14:20,860
Let's do lunch soon!
Love you more, bye!
348
00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:22,379
Is this where you've
been the last few weeks
349
00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:23,630
while I've been
running our company?
350
00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:26,198
No. Um
351
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,867
not, like, exclusively.
352
00:14:27,908 --> 00:14:29,469
Like, I've been doing
lots of stuff, okay?
353
00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:31,203
Corkie, I hate working!
354
00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:32,705
What?
355
00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:34,641
I thought I wanted to be
a modern businesswoman,
356
00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:36,667
but it turned out I just
wanted to be a woman...
357
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,395
Hold the business
and the modern.
358
00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:41,046
I'm an heiress, Corkie. I
don't belong in an office.
359
00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:42,732
I belong in a club
that I can't belong to
360
00:14:42,756 --> 00:14:45,384
without a man,
sending back a salad.
361
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,553
So this why you killed our IPO?
362
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:50,055
Oh, so you heard about that.
363
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:52,200
That's good because we just,
like, ripped off the Band-Aid
364
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:53,785
and now you and I can go
back to being friends.
365
00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:55,060
And speaking of ripped,
366
00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:56,872
could you give the gal
a tug on the old rug?
367
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,623
It looks like I've
got Alf in a leg lock.
368
00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:00,941
Pfaffashions is all I have left!
369
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:04,069
My church is completely
bankrupt, my dad is dead,
370
00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:07,281
and my husband is spinning
on Satan's flaming rotisserie
371
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,342
because of the sins
committed with your husband!
372
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:10,760
Is anybody else
getting a hankering
373
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:12,077
for Kenny Rogers' Roasters?
374
00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:13,680
Let's grab a bucket
and do a spa day.
375
00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:16,123
I don't support
the Devil's music
376
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:18,250
or its evil chicken spawn!
377
00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:19,960
Okay, well, that's your loss
378
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,671
'cause Kenny knows when
to bold 'em with flavor.
379
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:25,841
Corkie, I can see
you're very upset,
380
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:27,861
but after seeing so many
people die this year,
381
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:29,613
I just felt like I
need to focus on doing
382
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,513
what makes me happy.
383
00:15:31,555 --> 00:15:33,682
Nothing. I'm Tiff Pfaff.
384
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:36,435
Women want to be me. Men
want to be me in drag.
385
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:39,605
Oh, gag me with a spoon.
386
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:40,940
Okay, you can insult me,
387
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:42,876
but don't you dare
come for the Tiff Army.
388
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:45,903
Your new hair color doesn't
match your skin tone.
389
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,048
I said you could insult me,
but I didn't mean right now.
390
00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:49,633
There is no
discernible difference
391
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:51,784
between your ankles
and your calves.
392
00:15:51,825 --> 00:15:53,637
Okay, well, at least I'm
not afraid to show my ankles
393
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,371
or my shoulders or my cleavage
394
00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:58,040
'cause I think it's gonna make
Jesus too horny or whatever.
395
00:15:58,082 --> 00:15:59,708
You Jezebel!
396
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,168
Ow!
397
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:02,586
You little fucking bitch!
398
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,254
Get off of me!
399
00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:05,756
No!
400
00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:18,435
- Ew!
401
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:20,980
No freaking... Oh, no!
402
00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:22,314
Corkie!
403
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:25,609
Corkie.
404
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:27,486
Of course you're a redhead.
405
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:29,571
I prefer person of hair color.
406
00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:32,324
Tiff, fudge you!
407
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:34,493
Actually, fuck you!
408
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:43,669
So then Larry goes to
his favorite coffee shop,
409
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:45,963
and runs into said
bimbo... Or himbo...
410
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,674
Since Larry's tastes are
ambiguous as a motherfucker.
411
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,134
No, he's actually pansexual.
412
00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:52,028
Oh, my God, he fucks,
like, cookware and shit?
413
00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:54,346
No, "pan" is Spanish for bread,
414
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:57,307
so a pansexual is someone
who fucks a piece of bread.
415
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,767
No, it means he's attracted
416
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:00,870
to people's personalities,
not their gender.
417
00:17:00,894 --> 00:17:02,747
Wow, I don't think I've
ever liked the personality
418
00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:04,314
of any guy I've ever fucked.
419
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:05,524
Hilarious.
420
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:06,918
Hating them is what gets me off.
421
00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:08,694
Hating myself is
what gets me off.
422
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,213
- Oh.
- Oh.
423
00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:11,363
We know you're serious.
424
00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:13,490
Okay, guys, whoever
we embed beds Larry,
425
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,867
but what he doesn't know
426
00:17:14,908 --> 00:17:16,469
is we have inserted
a tracking device...
427
00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:18,346
- Up the old keister.
- Come on, another honeypot?
428
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:19,621
No, a honeypot?
429
00:17:19,663 --> 00:17:21,915
You've got some
real mommy issues.
430
00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:23,959
I do not have fucking
mom issues, okay?
431
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,502
I don't even know the bitch.
432
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:26,938
Don't call your
mom a bitch. I know
433
00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:28,148
- you don't know her but...
- And you know what?
434
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,649
Fuck me for trying to
get you to L.A., Dawn.
435
00:17:29,673 --> 00:17:30,775
What? Fuck that!
436
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,259
This stupid-ass plan
437
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,029
is as much about your
label as it is my shit.
438
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,388
Okay, my stupid-ass plan?
Real easy to criticize
439
00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:38,074
when you're not the one
putting yourself out there.
440
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:39,743
Putting yourself out
there? This sucks, Mo.
441
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,727
The timeline
is very confusing.
442
00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:43,145
This will work.
443
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:44,539
- Focus.
- Time-out, time-out.
444
00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:46,148
The drawings aren't good.
445
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:48,585
Good old Keithy is here, and
I actually have a real plan.
446
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,249
How do y'all feel
about blackmail?
447
00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:51,921
God damn it, Keith. Are
you wearing a wire again?
448
00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:53,572
No, I'm not wearing a wire.
449
00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:54,924
Why do you always use language
that can be used against us
450
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:56,092
- in a court of law?
- All right, just trust me.
451
00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:57,159
My name is Theresa.
452
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,745
Okay, Larry fed
Lenny to the wolves!
453
00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:01,288
So what do you mean?
454
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,016
He, like, threw him under
the bus or something?
455
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,542
No, he literally fed his
brother to the wolves.
456
00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:08,003
I know, 'cause I
was... Wasn't there,
457
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:11,298
but he told me in great detail.
458
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,092
It was horrific.
459
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:16,178
I mean,
I'm not surprised.
460
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:17,822
- It tracks.
- It kind of makes sense.
461
00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:19,306
That-that's your reaction?
462
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:22,184
I just dropped a fucking
bombshell on... that...
463
00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:23,852
Not really.
464
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:25,896
Okay, well, fuck you guys.
465
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,981
But this makes
things easy, right?
466
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:29,817
We'll just have Lenny confess
467
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,461
on Keith's wire,
and then we can...
468
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:32,986
I'm not wearing a fucking wire!
469
00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:36,240
Okay, on a wire.
Who gives a shit?
470
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:37,717
Guys, let's not get
caught up in details.
471
00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:38,951
What's important is that
472
00:18:38,992 --> 00:18:40,792
the perfect person
to wear said wire.
473
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:41,846
- No, no, no.
- Mo, I'm sorry...
474
00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:43,580
Come on, guys. Why not?
475
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:45,457
I think this is a
really dumb idea.
476
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:48,377
What the fuck are you even
doing here, Blair, huh?
477
00:18:48,418 --> 00:18:51,255
Just to apologize for
getting us all kidnapped?
478
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:53,715
How about apologizing for
almost getting me thrown away
479
00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:55,193
for the rest of my
fucking life in jail
480
00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:56,945
or for not pardoning Dawn,
which is the only reason
481
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,888
we're in this goddamn
mess in the first place?
482
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,306
Okay.
483
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:03,600
When you say it all
out loud like that,
484
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:05,811
yes, it does
485
00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:07,980
stick in the throat
486
00:19:08,021 --> 00:19:09,523
but I'm sorry.
487
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:13,402
A-and I genuinely want to
change, if you could just...
488
00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:18,198
Blair, fuck off and fuck off.
489
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,617
Somber music.
490
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:22,703
Okay.
491
00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,204
Any other takers?
492
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:30,335
Okay.
493
00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:44,141
Good day.
494
00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:48,562
Thanks for making it weird.
495
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:50,147
Now, the honeypot.
496
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,857
Oh, come on!
497
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,943
No one wants to do
a fucking honeypot!
498
00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:57,487
Sorry.
499
00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:59,632
Look, if there's anything I
learned in the record business,
500
00:19:59,656 --> 00:20:02,868
it's how to get someone out
of their fucking contract.
501
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:06,330
Okay, I
admit it, I admit it!
502
00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:08,874
Me and Keith killed
my only twin!
503
00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:11,293
We-we-we left him for dead.
504
00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:13,879
No, I think what you meant
was me left him for dead.
505
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,216
Okay, me left him for dead!
506
00:20:17,257 --> 00:20:18,568
Say it like a normal
sentence... go!
507
00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:20,219
Okay, okay. I left him for dead!
508
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,054
I killed my own flesh and blood,
509
00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:24,139
and it haunts me
every waking second!
510
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:25,182
And you are who?
511
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:27,226
- I am... I am Larry Leighman.
- Got it!
512
00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:29,353
Sometimes at night
when I'm laying in bed,
513
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:30,705
I can hear his voice
in the other room!
514
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,040
Oh, yeah, yeah, come on.
515
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,208
No one needs a
whole one-man show.
516
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,608
We just needed your confession.
517
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:35,919
Which we got on tape,
518
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,212
so give Mo back his
label, or you're fucked.
519
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,463
Yeah, you're fucked.
520
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:41,073
- Yeah, you are fucked!
- You're fucked.
521
00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:43,242
Dramatic music.
522
00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:45,553
Wow, you guys really like a
good defenestration, don't you?
523
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,454
Yeah, who doesn't?
524
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,373
All right, whatever, Keithy.
525
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:52,209
If you take me down, I
will take you down with me.
526
00:20:55,295 --> 00:20:56,838
So be it.
527
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,091
Give Mo back his label,
or we go down together.
528
00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:04,763
You monster.
529
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:06,765
You know, fine.
530
00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:10,602
But for what it's worth, you're
as big of a monster as I am.
531
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:13,021
You know, you're all
monsters, all of you.
532
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,731
And I should know!
533
00:21:14,773 --> 00:21:17,609
I should know because...
534
00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:20,112
Lenny
turned me into one, okay?
535
00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:23,448
So shame on me? Shame on me?
536
00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:25,117
Shame on all of you!
537
00:21:25,158 --> 00:21:26,928
Are we supposed to
believe you have emotions?
538
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,388
Shame on you! Shame on you!
539
00:21:28,412 --> 00:21:30,223
Technically, you made your
brother into a monster.
540
00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:33,041
Shame on
you! Shame on you!
541
00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:34,960
All right, fine.
542
00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:39,172
I'll have Pauline draw up the
papers while I change my pants.
543
00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:41,109
I'll meet you in the
office in an hour.
544
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,610
Yeah, those papers
better be there too, Lar,
545
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:45,345
or we're gonna turn that
tape in to the cops!
546
00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:50,183
- Yes!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
547
00:21:50,225 --> 00:21:51,661
- Question...
548
00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:54,604
- All right!
- What is defenestration?
549
00:21:56,356 --> 00:21:58,817
- Corkie?
- Oh, my God.
550
00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:01,153
- Are you okay?
551
00:22:01,194 --> 00:22:03,905
- Tiff, what happened?
- Oh, no.
552
00:22:03,947 --> 00:22:06,325
I quit my job.
553
00:22:06,366 --> 00:22:09,161
- Corkie didn't love it.
- Oh.
554
00:22:09,202 --> 00:22:11,955
How'd your apology go?
555
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,332
They didn't love it either.
556
00:22:13,373 --> 00:22:14,541
Okay.
557
00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:17,753
Well, at least we
have each other,
558
00:22:17,794 --> 00:22:20,756
and a shit ton of spa stuff.
559
00:22:20,797 --> 00:22:23,842
Yeah, we do, don't we?
560
00:22:24,968 --> 00:22:27,804
- Please remove that.
- Yeah.
561
00:22:30,057 --> 00:22:31,701
Oh, Dawnie, you're
gonna be back in time
562
00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:32,809
for the wedding, right?
563
00:22:32,851 --> 00:22:34,454
Yes, I already booked my ticket,
564
00:22:34,478 --> 00:22:35,479
and I've got my, uh,
565
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,040
if-anyone-objects
speech written.
566
00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:40,317
All right. I want
to be at your table.
567
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,986
No, no, I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
568
00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:44,714
You know, I'm really
happy for you, Momo.
569
00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:46,531
Aw, thanks.
570
00:22:46,573 --> 00:22:49,868
God, you guys put the "won't"
in "will they, won't they."
571
00:22:49,910 --> 00:22:51,536
Listen, somebody had to do it.
572
00:22:51,578 --> 00:22:53,348
I mean, Jesus Christ, we've
been grinding each other harder
573
00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:55,415
- than my teeth right now.
- Oh, God, yes.
574
00:22:55,457 --> 00:22:58,293
The last few years have
been a fucking ride, right?
575
00:22:58,335 --> 00:22:59,628
Mm-hmm.
576
00:22:59,669 --> 00:23:01,356
Speaking of which, do you
guys remember that time
577
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,840
when I ran over Blair
with a golf cart
578
00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:06,468
sort of on purpose?
579
00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:07,945
It was one of your
greatest hits.
580
00:23:10,889 --> 00:23:13,558
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, do you remember, Mo,
581
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,520
when you fully cocaine'd Blair
on the trading room floor?
582
00:23:16,561 --> 00:23:19,147
Ruining his career before
it even got started!
583
00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:21,733
- Welcome to New York!
- Brilliant plan.
584
00:23:21,775 --> 00:23:24,694
And we all knew it was so
wrong, but nobody helped him.
585
00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:26,255
- We were all gone.
- It was bad.
586
00:23:26,279 --> 00:23:27,673
What about that time
587
00:23:27,697 --> 00:23:29,425
he was forced into
electroshock therapy
588
00:23:29,449 --> 00:23:31,493
to knock out his gayness, right?
589
00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:34,496
And then the love of his
life just commits suicide,
590
00:23:34,538 --> 00:23:37,040
and then he uses that, you
know, to get into Congress,
591
00:23:37,082 --> 00:23:38,917
and then, bam, he gets shot!
592
00:23:38,959 --> 00:23:41,586
Almost dies!
593
00:23:41,628 --> 00:23:43,588
So funny.
594
00:23:45,382 --> 00:23:47,402
Jesus, we really did fuck
that shithead over, huh?
595
00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:49,219
Yeah.
596
00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:52,305
Fuck, are you guys
thinking what I'm thinking?
597
00:23:52,347 --> 00:23:54,766
This trip down memory lane
is missing a passenger.
598
00:23:54,808 --> 00:23:56,476
Yeah.
599
00:23:58,311 --> 00:24:02,149
Spencer, your ex-husband.
I-I'll call him.
600
00:24:02,190 --> 00:24:04,085
Just... I bet it's
awkward for you two,
601
00:24:04,109 --> 00:24:06,653
but I can call right now
and be like, "Spence!"
602
00:24:06,695 --> 00:24:09,406
He'll be like, "Yassir,
Yassir, is that you?"
603
00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:10,842
- What's wrong with you, man?
- Why would you say that?
604
00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:16,496
We wanted to be a
power couple so bad.
605
00:24:16,538 --> 00:24:18,957
All we focused on was the power.
606
00:24:18,999 --> 00:24:21,001
We forgot about the couple.
607
00:24:21,042 --> 00:24:24,796
And our power was the couple.
608
00:24:24,838 --> 00:24:26,465
- I missed us.
- Yeah.
609
00:24:26,506 --> 00:24:27,549
Let's make a pact.
610
00:24:27,591 --> 00:24:29,235
If we're not engaged
to new people
611
00:24:29,259 --> 00:24:30,945
by the time we get divorced,
we'll get remarried.
612
00:24:30,969 --> 00:24:32,471
Deal. Okay, now,
spill it, Valdez.
613
00:24:32,512 --> 00:24:34,115
Who are you dating,
loving, fucking?
614
00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:36,391
You know, just the
occasional intern,
615
00:24:36,433 --> 00:24:38,268
but it doesn't
really mean anything.
616
00:24:38,310 --> 00:24:39,787
It's like when they
laugh at my jokes.
617
00:24:39,811 --> 00:24:41,831
Like, are they just doing
it because I'm their boss?
618
00:24:41,855 --> 00:24:44,232
- Hmm, probably.
619
00:24:44,274 --> 00:24:46,610
No, there's really been
nobody serious since...
620
00:24:46,651 --> 00:24:48,487
Roger?
621
00:24:51,615 --> 00:24:54,784
Oh, you
really miss him, huh?
622
00:24:54,826 --> 00:24:56,495
Yeah, I do.
623
00:24:56,536 --> 00:24:57,412
Oh.
624
00:24:57,454 --> 00:25:00,332
It wasn't your fault, Blair.
625
00:25:00,373 --> 00:25:02,375
Well,
it kind of was, but
626
00:25:02,417 --> 00:25:04,961
thank you for saying that.
627
00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:08,173
I guess Pamper du Pauper
628
00:25:08,215 --> 00:25:10,217
was exactly what I
needed inside and out.
629
00:25:10,258 --> 00:25:11,861
Okay, you know
what else you need?
630
00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:13,404
- You need a night out.
- Ooh.
631
00:25:13,428 --> 00:25:16,431
There is a Tiff
drag night tonight.
632
00:25:16,473 --> 00:25:18,284
I mean, talk about fun
for our whole family.
633
00:25:18,308 --> 00:25:20,060
Checking all the boxes.
634
00:25:20,101 --> 00:25:21,579
Let's go, let's go
tonight. What do you say?
635
00:25:21,603 --> 00:25:23,039
- Yeah, that sounds perfect.
- Okay, okay.
636
00:25:25,565 --> 00:25:28,401
Hello?
637
00:25:28,443 --> 00:25:30,529
Mo?
638
00:25:30,570 --> 00:25:32,113
Really?
639
00:25:32,155 --> 00:25:33,782
Right now?
640
00:25:33,823 --> 00:25:36,826
Uh, well, I-I-I kind
of just made plans.
641
00:25:36,868 --> 00:25:38,453
What? Blair, go, go.
642
00:25:38,495 --> 00:25:39,955
Yeah, we'll meet up later.
643
00:25:39,996 --> 00:25:41,373
Are you sure?
644
00:25:41,414 --> 00:25:42,975
'Cause it's really
not that big of a...
645
00:25:42,999 --> 00:25:45,043
Deal me in, fockers!
646
00:25:48,171 --> 00:25:49,839
- Oh!
- Get in there, Blair!
647
00:25:49,881 --> 00:25:51,901
- Yes, yes, yes!
- Get it, get it, get it!
648
00:25:51,925 --> 00:25:53,718
Yeah!
649
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,846
You guys, ah, I
missed you.
650
00:25:56,888 --> 00:25:58,848
And I'm sorry. From now on...
651
00:25:58,890 --> 00:26:01,101
Oh, God, from now on,
we will forgive your ass
652
00:26:01,142 --> 00:26:03,186
if you stop fucking apologizing.
653
00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:05,522
Jesus Christ, we get
it. You're sorry.
654
00:26:05,564 --> 00:26:07,375
But, hey, now that the
fifth Jackson is here,
655
00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:08,960
I would like to propose a toast.
656
00:26:08,984 --> 00:26:10,151
- Yes.
- Ooh.
657
00:26:10,193 --> 00:26:12,028
- To Dawn Darcy.
- Oh, to me?
658
00:26:12,070 --> 00:26:13,613
- Okay.
- Damn right.
659
00:26:13,655 --> 00:26:15,991
The wicked witch of Wall Street.
660
00:26:16,032 --> 00:26:18,243
The eye candy with
the nose candy.
661
00:26:18,285 --> 00:26:19,428
- There it is.
- Oh.
662
00:26:19,452 --> 00:26:22,205
- Two dimples and no scruples.
- Mm.
663
00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:24,141
What about the woman
turning the West Coast
664
00:26:24,165 --> 00:26:26,751
- into the Breast Coast?
- Uh-oh!
665
00:26:26,793 --> 00:26:28,271
- Wait, wait, what?
- You getting Cs still?
666
00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:29,647
- Come on.
- No, no, no, fuck it.
667
00:26:29,671 --> 00:26:32,048
- I'm getting Ds!
- Oh!
668
00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:34,050
- To Ds!
- She's getting Ds, y'all!
669
00:26:34,092 --> 00:26:37,929
Oh! You know what, guys?
670
00:26:37,971 --> 00:26:41,266
I would cry, you know, if years
of wearing crazy-ass eyeshadow
671
00:26:41,308 --> 00:26:44,102
hadn't permanently
clogged my ducts.
672
00:26:44,144 --> 00:26:45,788
Ah, that's, uh... I
remember about that.
673
00:26:45,812 --> 00:26:49,441
So, instead, how about
we do sports hand thingy.
674
00:26:49,482 --> 00:26:51,693
- Oh.
- All right, all right.
675
00:26:51,735 --> 00:26:53,421
- Here we go, here we go.
- On three.
676
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:55,238
One, two, three
677
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,658
- sports thingy!
678
00:26:58,700 --> 00:27:02,078
Well, now it is time to make
things official with Larry.
679
00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:03,580
- Yes!
- Yes!
680
00:27:03,622 --> 00:27:05,099
- All right, here we go.
- All right, all right.
681
00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:07,083
- Official with Larry.
- Let's go.
682
00:27:07,125 --> 00:27:08,835
Come on. Oh!
683
00:27:08,877 --> 00:27:11,338
I listen to her favorite song.
684
00:27:11,379 --> 00:27:12,922
Playing on the radio.
685
00:27:15,216 --> 00:27:17,886
Where the DJ said love's a game.
686
00:27:17,927 --> 00:27:21,640
Of easy come and easy go.
687
00:27:21,681 --> 00:27:22,807
But I wonder
688
00:27:27,187 --> 00:27:29,022
- Great time.
- I am.
689
00:27:29,064 --> 00:27:31,316
Oh, come... what the fuck
are you doing, Larry?
690
00:27:31,358 --> 00:27:32,543
Why are you sitting
in the elevator
691
00:27:32,567 --> 00:27:34,128
when you should
be at your office?
692
00:27:34,152 --> 00:27:36,488
Exactly.
693
00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:41,493
I can still feel so much pain.
694
00:27:43,578 --> 00:27:46,790
Like a knife that cuts
through the wound heals
695
00:27:46,831 --> 00:27:51,503
I am loving your bold lip.
I'm, like, attracted to you.
696
00:27:51,544 --> 00:27:53,505
Tiff only. I wish.
697
00:27:53,546 --> 00:27:56,299
Slay, slay, slay! You are me!
698
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:07,894
Every rose has its thorn.
699
00:28:09,938 --> 00:28:13,108
Just like every night.
700
00:28:13,149 --> 00:28:16,319
Has its dawn.
701
00:28:16,361 --> 00:28:20,240
Just like every cowboy.
702
00:28:20,281 --> 00:28:23,952
Sings a sad, sad song.
703
00:28:23,993 --> 00:28:28,665
Every rose has its thorn.
704
00:28:31,918 --> 00:28:34,087
What the fuck?
705
00:28:34,129 --> 00:28:35,547
- What is that?
- Oh!
706
00:28:35,588 --> 00:28:37,006
Why are you going in there?
707
00:28:37,048 --> 00:28:38,109
No, no, no, no, no.
708
00:28:38,133 --> 00:28:40,009
- Oh, my God!
- Dawn!
709
00:28:40,051 --> 00:28:41,261
They chopped his dick off!
710
00:28:43,179 --> 00:28:45,140
Such a turn to it.
711
00:28:45,181 --> 00:28:46,909
How would you use
that, I mean, practically?
712
00:28:46,933 --> 00:28:48,786
I think you'd have
to kind of hook into it.
713
00:28:48,810 --> 00:28:50,371
Or, like, back-back...
...back into it.
714
00:28:50,395 --> 00:28:51,563
Back into it.
715
00:28:51,604 --> 00:28:52,748
You could definitely
back into it.
716
00:28:52,772 --> 00:28:54,166
I guess someone
could back into it.
717
00:28:54,190 --> 00:28:55,418
Okay, look, we need
to put it back.
718
00:28:55,442 --> 00:28:56,877
You have to get your
fingerprints off.
719
00:28:56,901 --> 00:28:58,045
No, he's... No,
it's good, good, good.
720
00:28:58,069 --> 00:28:59,320
Oh, he got spit on the dick.
721
00:28:59,362 --> 00:29:00,589
- Just put it back.
- Blow on it?
722
00:29:00,613 --> 00:29:02,007
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Ugh.
723
00:29:02,031 --> 00:29:04,784
Shit, he's not even
Weekend at Bernie's -able.
724
00:29:04,826 --> 00:29:06,369
Mm-m.
725
00:29:06,411 --> 00:29:08,264
Should we dip his dick in ink
and then forge his signature?
726
00:29:08,288 --> 00:29:10,206
Forget about his dick!
727
00:29:11,305 --> 00:30:11,236
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