All language subtitles for A State of Mind

Raymond,

I just want to let you
know how proud I am of you

and the young man
that you've become.

Now, watching you
walk across that stage

and get your diploma has been
the highlight of my life.

You're a man now.

And as you go off into this
world and make your way,

take the things I've taught you,

all the lessons I've showed you,

and be the best person
that you can possibly be.

And if there ever comes a time

when life becomes
too hard or too much,

talk to someone, anyone.

And whatever anyone
says about me,

just know that I love you

and nothing was ever your fault.

I love you son.

- What are we working with?

- Come on Pops, give
me something harder.

You know I know this
car front and back.

- Well answer the question.

What are we working with?

- 409 Turbo Thrust.

- Block material?
- Cast iron alloy.

- Horsepower?
- 230 horses.

- Come on Pops, I
can do this all day.

- All right, I see somebody's
been paying attention.

- Yeah I've been
paying attention.

But I say,

bore it out over 60.

- Bore it out huh?
- Mm-hm.

- Uh-uh, no my father'd
turn over in his grave

if I changed one thing
on this here car.

He loved this car.

He bought it new,
kept it till he died.

It ain't even been
driven since he died.

- But why would
somebody who's dead

care about a car that
they can't drive anymore?

- We keep his memory alive
by keeping this car alive.

When people leave
us they're not gone

unless we forget about them.

You love me, son?
- Yeah, of course.

- All right, would you love
me any less if I was gone?

- No, no I love
you just the same.

- Exactly, 'cause I'll still
be alive in your heart.

You understand now?

All right, now you know
what day it is right?

You ready?

All right, well you go into
the car and get the stuff

and we'll meet you in
the kitchen, all right?

How is my beautiful queen doing?

- Fine.

- Fine? You don't
sound no fine to me.

Sound like you need a big
hug and kiss from your man.

- You forgot.

- Forgot what?
- Forgot my birthday.

- Oh, yeah it is your
birthday, ain't it?

- Yeah, today.

- I'm sorry babe. I've
just been so busy.

- Busy doing what, messing
with that damn car?

- What you fussing for woman?

You know I ain't
forget your birthday.

- Then where is my-
- Happy birthday, Mama!

- You got me.
- Yeah.

- Thank you.
- Happy birthday.

- Now, slide on over here

and let me and D fix you dinner.

- My two favorite guys doing
something for me for a change?

All right what we havin',
what we got?

- Delgatos Pizza.

- I had your birthday
dinner catered babe.

I went all out.
- Thank you.

- You're a military man right?

I mean your father was at
West Point for chrissakes.

I don't have to tell you-
- Baby.

- Baby, come on over
here and sit with us.

- We'll dismiss
the need for them altogether.

- You okay?
- I'm fine.

- I mean, 'cause we-
- I said I'm fine.

- Now would you get off my back?

- Okay, just want
us to keep having

a good birthday, you know?

- And we can keep
having a nice day

if you all will leave me alone.

- Are you taking them?

Your meds. Raymond are you
still taking your medication?

'Cause you know you're supposed
to be taking it every day.

You know that.

- How about you just come
sit over here with us, Pops?

- Yeah. Come on over
here and sit with us.

- Mama, what's wrong with Pops?

- Nothing baby, he just
needs a little space.

- Did I do something wrong?
- No, no baby

you didn't do anything wrong.

- Then why is he
so upset with us?

I'll go talk to him.

- Okay, wait wait wait.

Look, your father's just
going through something

right now, all right?

Just give him a little
space and he'll be okay.

Now come on, come on
let's watch this program.

- Cramer, I thought you said

you were taking
care of Fletcher.

- No, no, no,
you said you were on this.

- Mom!
- Stay here.

- Ma where's Pops?
- I said stay here.

- Raymond?

Raymond you all right?

No!

Help me! Help me, please!

My husband, he shot
himself. Help us please!

No, my baby-my baby, no.

No baby.

- Here you go.

You ready, baby? You
excited, you ready?

- Yeah, yeah I'm ready.

- Damn, that's the best you got?

Come on D today's a big day.

- No, I'm sorry. I'm just,
I'm just a little tired.

I haven't felt
like myself lately.

- Yeah, what's wrong?

- I don't know, I just feel off.

- Well, make yourself
a doctor's appointment,

just in case there's
a bug or something.

- Yeah, yeah I will, hon.

- Baby, I'm so excited.

You about to meet
Rick Parsons today.

- I know right?
- And then if he likes

your script, Dee man oh my God,

no telling where
that's gonna lead.

You could be famous.

Yo, we could move to California.

And I could buy a
bunch of purses,

you know be a snobby bitch.

- For real?
- I just playing.

- I don't wanna
live in California.

Relax, Dee today's a big day.

- It's just a meeting Shan.

I mean nothing's guaranteed.

- Babe, Rick Parsons doesn't
just meet with anybody.

Your writing is so good,
give yourself some credit.

- Well, I'm gonna go get
dressed before I'm late.

- You got this baby, okay?

- I got this.

- You got this.

And put a smile
on your face Dee.

Remember I love you.
I'm always here for you.

- I love you too.

- Okay.

All right.

This is for you Pops.

♪ Reminisce on, on, on

♪ Reminisce on, on, on

- Hey, look at me son.

Look, nothin' to be
scared of, all right?

The first day in any
new place is never easy.

You're just gonna
have to go in here

and remember the three
things that I taught you.

And they are?

- Carry myself like a man.
- That's right.

- Carry yourself like
a man, and number two?

- Keep my mouth shut about
shit I don't know about.

- Things, things you
don't know about.

- Things, things I
don't know about.

- And most importantly?

- Be me all the time.

- Yeah, that's right.
Be you all the time.

People don't like people who
pretend to be somebody else.

Isn't that right, Fred?

Plus it's easier that way.

These people around here,

they either going to
accept you or they're not.

Look at Fred back there.

You ain't nervous at
all, are you Fred?

- Man these clowns know
what these hands can do.

They don't want none
of these problems.

- Keep them hands
to yourself son.

- Yes sir.

- All right.

Go on in there and do
what y'all got to do.

- Hey D, I got your back.

I'll always have your
back, no matter what.

- I know Fred. I know.

- Hey Darius, I ain't gonna
make it home.

- Mr. Thomas?

Are you okay?

- Yeah, yeah I'm, I'm okay.

- Mr. Parsons will see you now.

- Okay, cool.

- Mr. Thomas, how are we-

Have we met before Mr. Thomas?

- Uh no, sir.

- Mmm you look
extremely familiar.

I'm sure we've met.

- If we had, you know I
would definitely remember.

- Eh, maybe you just
got one of those faces,

I don't know Darius.

Anyway, the script, not
bad, not bad at all.

Look, we're having an
honest conversation here?

I gotta tell ya, the
script, it's a little dark.

I mean not in a bad way.

But it's pretty clear Darius,

that there's something
trying to cut through.

- It's just all
personal experiences.

- Like the part
about the father?

- Sir, I'm not-
- The father, in the script.

- He dies of a heart attack.

Is that what
happened to your dad?

Is your father still alive?

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm
sure you miss him greatly.

You know what I think, Anthony,

I think that's your real father.

I mean in the script he's the
embalmer at the funeral home

and all that, but it's clear.

Something resonates about him.

I mean he's the
last one to see Glen

get made ready before he goes-

- It's suicide, sir.

My father committed suicide

when I was younger.

He'd been battling
with depression

practically his whole life.

And on my mother's
birthday, he shot himself.

There was no "Goodbye Darius,"

no "I love you Darius,"

no "Hang in there Darius."

And that script is,

it's that thing that
gets that out of my head.

- So this, what, this
script, it's your life?

- Well, yeah, pretty much.

- Okay okay, tell you
what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna go ahead and
kick this upstairs.

If they like it, if,

you might just get
to see your name

in the movie credits some day.

Right, picture this.

A Darius Thomas Story,

directed by Mike Berry.

Yeah?

- Yeah, I mean it
sounds good to me.

You know Mike Berry's my
favorite director in the world.

- Eh, wait till you
meet him in person.

Anyway, doesn't matter.

You gotta go home keep writing.

You got a gift okay,

'cause nothing
frustrates me more

than when I send those boys
and girls upstairs a stud

and it turns out to
be a one-trick pony.

- Sir, I just thank you.

I just really appreciate
you actually taking time

to meet with me.

That was-

- Um, all right,
we're done here.

Uh, don't call us,
we'll call you,

you know all that good kind
of information and stuff.

Come on come on.
- Okay.

- You like the shirt?
You feeling it?

- Yeah, it looks good.
- No, I don't like it.

- My wife bought it.
- All right.

- Come on, how'd you
get here, bus, car?

- I took the car.

- Okay, let's go find your car.

Well, I'm not gonna help you
find it, but someone will.

- All right, all right.

Babe, it's happening.

Right, it's happening
it's happening!

Look, nothing's concrete yet,

but he definitely
likes my script.

Well, yeah I'm just,

babe I'm just ready
to turn a corner

and just start a new life
for the both of us, you know?

Right, yeah well look, I'm
on my way to my mom's house

then I have to work.

We'll celebrate later okay?

Hey, wear that lingerie I like.

All right, babe.

- Hey Darius.
- Hey Ms. Jones.

- Ain't seen you in a while.

- Yeah, yeah I just been
busy with working, family.

- Well praise the Lord.

- Praise the Lord Ms. Jones.

- You can't praise him if
you're not going to church.

- I go every day in
my heart Ms. Jones.

- The Bible says, "Where
there are two or three

gathered together in His
name, there He is among them."

- Okay, all right well look,

I'm going in to see my mother.

So that makes two of us.

So that'll mean God
will be present right?

- Come on here.

God bless you Darius.
- You too Ms.Jones.

- Take care now.

- You look good
in that dress too.

- Well all right, thank you.

- Ma, what did I tell you

about leaving that
back door unlocked?

- And hello to you too.

- I'm serious, you can't
be doing that around here.

So, what the doctor say?

- Same thing as before.

- I still think you should
consult with another specialist,

just to get a second opinion.

- Look, I've seen every
specialist from here to Maine.

They all same the same thing.

- I don't understand why-
- My heart

just ain't strong enough.

- Ma I don't understand
why you just won't check

with another specialist.

- If God wants me to see
another doctor I will.

But He ain't spoke
to me about that yet.

- Really Ma? You waiting on
God to tell you what to do?

- It's all in His time
and it's all in His hands.

- He might be doing his
part up there, right,

but you have to do
your part down here.

You just can't put it all on Him

to make all your decisions.

- Like I said, He ain't
spoke to me about that yet.

You need to get to
church on Sunday.

- Ma I ain't going
nowhere near that church.

- I cannot believe
the day has come

that a son of mine
does not believe

in the House of the Lord.

- No, I never said
I didn't believe.

I just, just don't
believe all of it.

It's just a book.

You know Fred
getting out tomorrow.

- Yeah, I heard.

And before you start running
the streets with him,

you'd better make sure he
on the right side of things.

- Ma he gonna be all right.

Uncle Reese got him
a job at his company.

Plus Fred not like that no more.

I think the last bit
actually got to him.

- Well that's great.

That sound like both of y'all

need to be at the
church on Sunday.

- Damn Ma, he just getting out

and you already trying
send him door-to-door

on Saturday morning?

- Look all I'm saying is
before he hit them streets,

he better hit that church first.

- Well I gotta go,
I gotta go to work.

- It's almost one o'clock.

- I took a half a day.

- Okay.

Well you need to do me a favor

and bring my crock pot back.

And then I'll make you
your favorite stew.

- Yes ma'am.
- All right.

- Yes ma'am.

And the cake too, right?

- You pushing it.

Just bring the crock
pot back please.

- Okay, yes Mama.

- All right, be safe.

- I love you.
- Love you too.

- All right.

- Thomas.

Fourth day late in two weeks.

One more and we've got problems.

- I told you I was
taking a half a day.

- Half a day, it's
damn near 1:30.

You said noon at the latest.

Like I said, one
more, it's problems.

- Babe where you at?

- You looking for me?

- Looks like you looking for me.

- From what I hear you're
the guy I need to talk to

if I wanna be in the movies.

- That depends if you're
a good actress or not.

You a good actress?

- I think I am.

Since I'm already on
your casting couch,

why don't I prove it to you?

- You know I don't do
PG-rated movies right?

- Neither do I.
- Is that right?

♪ My heart beats for you, baby

♪ You're my ecstasy

♪ Slow me down

- Baby, I'm ready.

- For what?

- Marriage.

- Wow.

Um...

Where'd that come from?

- Well I mean, I thought
we're in a good place

and it's time for us to
take it to the next level.

- Wait a minute, I mean,

ain't I the one supposed
to ask you first?

- I'm not asking you.

I'm saying you're definitely
who I want to spend

the rest of my life with.

And I wanna be your wife,

if you want to
make me your wife.

- Wait a minute, let's roll
this back for a second, hold up.

Weren't you just a porn star

looking to get on my casting
couch a little while ago

and now you're talking
about marriage?

But no, but seriously babe.

It'll happen, okay?

When the time is right,
it'll happen, okay?

- Baby you okay?

- Yeah.

Yeah.

- Was it the dreams?
- Yeah.

- I'm good, just,

just go back to sleep.

- You sure?
- Yes.

- But sometimes
you need somebody

to feed that back to you

and your spirit to help you,

up out of what
you're going through.

But oftentimes you
don't get that so-

- Dee! Dee why
ain't you at work, it's 7:30!

- So there's
a big stigma because-

- Dee! Why ain't you at work?

- Many many
people suffer from depression,

but they don't want
other people to know

that they're suffering
from depression.

- Damn. Must have overslept.

- Overslept?

Suicidal depression,

there's different types.

- You look wide awake to me.

You've done this two or three
times already this week Dee,

You're already on
probation at work.

- Ease up Shan.

I said I overslept.

- You said that two or
three times already.

Dee I know something
is wrong with you.

I can see it, I can feel it.

Talk to me. What is it?

- I'm good.
- Well get up.

- Okay.

Let me get my ass to work.

Ron'll pop a fuse if I'm late.

- Look, your father's just
going through something

right now, all right?

Just give him a little space

and he'll be okay.

- Hey what's up Ron it's Dee.

Yeah I ain't feeling
good today, man.

I ain't coming in.

Okay but what about
vacation time?

Don't I got sick time?

Come on Ron.

You know I've been sick
the last couple weeks.

But you know I be
on time though.

All right. All right.

- Baby I'm off to go to work.

- Okay.

- Hey Pop, I've been
working on this story.

I want you to hear it later.

Pop?

That was Granddad's chain right?

- Yeah it's my father's chain.

He gave it to me
right before he died.

One day I'm gonna
give it to you.

You know what that means?

- No.

- It means that I will
always be with you.

Even when things
get their hardest,

I'll be right there.

- How did Granddad
pass away Pop?

- He kill...

He keeled over and
died one night.

- From what though?

- It was something
wrong with his brain.

Working too hard,

it just gave up.

- You mean like cancer?

- Yeah, something like that.

- I don't know what I'd
do if you died Pops.

- Hey Darius?
- Yeah Pop?

- I can't do this anymore.

- What the hell Dee?

You been on this couch all day?

Hey I'm talking to you.

What is going on? What's wrong?

- I don't know.

I feel like I'm coming
down with something.

- What, like you sick?

- I just feel kinda drained.

- That's because you need
some sun up in here Dee.

Go get in the shower while
I get dinner started.

- You know Fred
getting out today.

- Now he's home?

- Yeah, I'm gonna run
over to Milt's Bar

to holler at him
for a little second.

I won't be out long, though.

- So you can go to the bar
Dee, but you can't go to work?

- Whatever babe.

- And don't call me at 2 AM
to come get you out of jail

'cause you got caught
up in his street shit.

- Babe it's cool. He's changed.

- I'll believe it when I see it.

- All right, well, I'll be
back in a little while okay?

- And don't spend
money we don't have

trying to prove
something to him Dee.

♪ Remember when there
were no mp3s, but CDs ♪

♪ We didn't care about germs,
no concern of disease ♪

♪ Street lights came on

♪ We high-fived and we'd leave

♪ Back in the day it
wasn't so hard to believe ♪

♪ That I would wake up
as the Black power ♪

- Dee!

- What's up, Fred?

- You, look at you, all
clean-cut and what-not.

- No you're the one, man,

got your buff going
on and everything.

I see you.

- Six in the blocks'll
do that to you.

All the time in the
world to work out.

- I feel that. I feel that.

What's up Mikey?

- Long time homey.

- Yeah, it has been a while.

Last time I saw you,

you was going out to
county for a murder.

- And I beat that one.

And the one after that
and the one after that.

- All right, okay.

Well I'm glad to see
you're doing okay man.

- Yeah, I'm good.

- Well now look, why
don't y'all let me

and cousin holla for a minute?

Look at you Dee. You
look real good man.

- You too man looking all fresh.

You know what I'm
saying, skin all glowing?

- Prison'll do that to you.

- Yeah I feel that. Hey
that shit true about T-Baby?

- Hell yeah.

I'm talking tight shorts,
lipstick, all that.

- Wow, that's crazy.

So what's your plan now?

- You already know.
I'mma go get it' to get.

- Cuz, you just got out.

- Right, ain't no need to plan.

- I thought Uncle Reese got
you a gig out at Ceptions.

- 10 hours a day at 14 an
hour? I don't think so.

You know me baby,
either the top or broke.

- Cuz, you know if you go
back your ass is out right?

- Man I ain't worried about it.

I'm moving different
from here on out.

- Different huh?
- Yup.

- I really miss you cuz.

- I missed you, too.

You know them
letters you wrote me

is what got me through my bid.

Shit, Carla was out as soon
as the bus left the city.

- Man.

- Without you and my
fellas holding me down man,

that shit would've been tough.

- We're blood cuz.

- Being like that, I learned
that blood make you related,

but loyalty is what
makes a family.

Me, Mikey and Cook,
that's my family.

- Yeah I feel that. I feel that.

So, uh, my mom wants you
to come down to the church.

I already told her you
weren't gonna be on it bruh.

- Listen, man I'll
be by next week

when I got a few hours to listen

to how the righteous and the
meek gonna inherit the earth.

- You know how she is.

- Sit tight.

- Y'all got us fucked up man.
- Hey man.

- Who the fuck is this nigga?
- You on the wrong side

of the tracks you heard?

- I'm Fred.
- Fred?

- So what that name supposed
to mean something to me?

- 102nd down to the tracks
belong to the Deuce.

So I'm gonna need you and
this clown that you with

turn y'all asses around,
take y'all asses home

before I don't let y'all
take your asses home.

- Oh yeah, well I don't
appreciate your disrespect,

and I don't think
Poncho would either.

- They ain't stopped making
guns when they made yours bro.

- It's all love my G.

- Yeah, now run you ass on

and tell Poncho to stay
his ass off the Deuce.

- Let's go.

- Hey follow them and make
sure they cross the tracks man.

- Cuz, what the
hell was that man?

You ain't even
been out 12 hours.

- And I told you, shit ain't
going back to the way it was.

But don't worry cuz,
I know what I'm doing.

- You sure you're okay?

- Yeah.

I just um,

I just emailed Rick Parsons
25 pages of my new script,

just to see if he likes it.

- That's cool Dee,

but we need to worry
about things here first.

- I know, I know.

- All right.

Oh, me and the girls are
going to the mall later.

So try to find yourself
something to eat.

Okay?

Love you, okay?

- Love you too.

Hello?

Yeah what's up Fred?

Nah, I'm cool man.

I don't feel like
hanging out today.

All right.

You know what, Fred, Fred?

Just, yeah come through
bro, pick me up.

All right.

- What up cuz-o?

- Nothin'.

- Hey, about last
night man, I just-

- It's cool. It's cool.

- No seriously Dee.

I know you ain't
about that life, man,

and I was wrong for
pulling you into it.

- Yeah I just thought this
time you'd be home to stay.

- I am home to stay. Seriously.

You listenin' man?

Dude, where you at man,

'cause you definitely not
in this car right now.

- Yeah, my bad man.

I just ain't been feeling like
myself the last few weeks.

- You depressed or something?

- I don't know.

- Depression mean you weak.

And only weak guys
get depressed man.

Ain't no room out
here for no weak cats.

Seriously Dee, you got
you a girl, a crib,

and you can still get you a job

without them running your record

and finding out that
you a four-time felon

with two robberies and
aggravated assault.

- I don't know, I just been,

I just been really moody, man.

I literally find
myself laying around.

I mean I'm losing track of time.

You know, some days I just
can't pull it together Fred.

- Trust me dude, You good man.

♪ I need to know everything

♪ Who and the what
and the where ♪

♪ I need everything

- No, that's a smooth move, man.

- Indeed man.
- Yeah foreal foreal.

- Considering that too.
- Hey babe.

- Hey what's up babe?

- Hey Fred.
- Hey what up Shan?

- Welcome home.
- Thank you, thank you.

- Hey y'all got
some lunch meat up in here?

- Make yourself at home Fred.

- Most definitely,
most definitely.

- Baby I got some bad news.

- What?

- Your job left a voicemail.

- What'd they say?

- They say they letting you go.

- Damn.

- What we gonna do Dee?

- I don't know.

- You know you can
always get out here

and get some real money
in the streets with me.

- Damn nosy.
- I'm just sayin',

ain't nothing wrong with
a little street money.

- But there's definitely
something wrong
with prison time.

- Look babe I'll
figure it out, okay?

I'll just call Uncle Reese, see
if he got another spot open.

- Yeah, you could
definitely have my spot cuz,

'cause I can't do it.

Just like that. I gotta go.

I'mma get up with you later cuz.

You gonna be all
right, all right?

Shake that shit off.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- What was that about?

- What?

- Shake it off?

- Nothing.

- You had to tell Fred what
you were going through.

Come on, babe tell me something.

- Tell you what?

- Anything Dee,
tell me anything.

Dee listen.

Baby you know I got your back.

Dee I've got your back.

And whatever you're going
through, I'm going through.

But you gotta talk to me baby
if you want me to help you.

- What do you want from me Shan?

I mean, yeah I missed work.

And I've been tired a little
bit lately, but I'm good.

- Dee, missed work,
baby you just got fired.

You've been laying around here
in a funk all day every day.

Pull yourself together Dee.

- Whatever.

- Where are you going?

- I'm tired.

That was Granddad's chain right?

- Yeah it's my father's chain.

He gave it to me
right before he died.

One day I'm gonna
give it to you.

You know what that means?

- No.

- It means that
I will always be with you.

- Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

- Do you love me son?
- Yeah, of course.

- Would you love me
any less if I was gone?

- No, no I love
you just the same.

Dammit Pops, why'd
you leave me here

to deal with this
shit by myself?

I needed you Pops! I needed you!

- She didn't have no business

wearing that damn outfit.

- She swore
she was looking cute.

- Girl, whole damn
stomach hanging out,

looking like balled up homework.

- Oh bring some glasses.

- So what's up with Darius?

- Girl, I don't know.

He's going through something
and I don't know what to do.

- What is he saying?

- He ain't saying much,

just that he got
it under control.

But I'm telling you,
he lost his job,

he's sleeping all
day, moody as hell.

And I saw where he was googling
depression in his phone.

- But I'm sure
it'll all be fine.

With love and prayer,
anything can be worked out.

- You think he'd do
something to you?

- No, Darius ain't like that.

He's sweet and loving.

He's just going through
something right now.

- Well I ain't trying
to be negative,

but my aunt's husband
had the same thing.

He came home from work one day,

parked his car in the driveway,

walked in the garage
and hung hisself

in the middle of day,
just hung hisself.

- Oh my God, I feel
so bad for your aunt.

She didn't know he was
going through something?

- No, not at all,
just hung hisself.

- Again, I'm sure
Darius will be fine.

I think he just needs
to find his way back.

- I hope so.

- Look, I like Darius.

I like him a lot.

But if he tripping
like you say he is,

you have to be careful,
for his safety and yours.

And my only concern is
making sure you good.

- Um, okay girls,

me and Vikki gonna
get out of here.

- Yeah Shan, call you later.

- So that's what you talk
about with your friends,

about my personal life?

- It's not like that Dee.

- Then how the hell
is it then Shan?

You supposed to be my girl.

Talk about you
wanna get married,

but you think it's okay
to go behind my back

to talk about my business
to everybody in the street?

- They're not everybody
in the street Dee,

Those are my friends.

And I just needed
someone to vent to.

- Needed someone to vent to?

You know, it's so funny

how you want me
to open up to you,

but you go behind my back
and talk about my business.

- What do you want me to do Dee?

You're not telling me nothin'.

You're telling me a little
here a little there,

and I don't know what to do.

- What, so you can
tell the whole world?

Look at me.

You know I ain't with that.

Okay.

- Dee, open the door, it's Fred.

Dee, open the door man.

- It's open.

- Damn, dawg.

Where the hell you been at man?

Shan called my line,

talking about you ain't
been off the couch in weeks.

I'm blowing up your jack.
You're not answering.

Hell, you ain't even been by
to check on your mama man.

- Just a little
stressed out cuz.

- Yeah Shan called me

talking about she
think you're depressed.

I told her hell
na'll that ain't it.

- I don't know, I'm just...

Crazy mental space.

- Man chill with all that man.

You're good.
- Man ease up Fred.

- Ease up? I need to turn
up to take you out of this.

You can't keep laying
around here like some lame

because you got a few
things going on, bruh.

You going to the bar tonight?

- No, I'm good.

- Look man, whatever you going
through, come on back bruh.

I know you stressed
and all that,

but you moping around
ain't gonna help.

You gotta be stronger cuz.

- Strong like who Fred?

Strong like Pops?

- Man what is you talking about?

- My pops killed
himself you know that?

- You don't know nothing man.

That could've been an
accident or something.

- It wasn't no accident.

What you talking about?

He blew his damn brains out

because he was dealing
with the same thing

I'm dealing with right now.

- But you don't even
know what you're dealing with.

- It ain't even
been a few months

and my head is all
over the place.

And he fought it for years Fred.

- You're trippin' Dee.

- No, you're trippin'.

You're telling
what I should feel,

and I'm trying to
tell you how I feel.

- Look man, call your mom
and make sure she okay.

I got a few things
I gotta handle.

So I'll holla at you later man.

Dee.
- What?

- Pull yourself together, man.

- Darius.
- Hey, Mr. Parsons.

- Hey, how are you buddy?

- I'm doing good,
I'm doing good.

Hey I was just calling to see

if you had a chance to have
your guys check out that script?

- Uh, they did,
they did actually,

and they got a chance
to read the draft

you emailed me as well.

- Okay, what you think?

- Well, to be honest
with you Darius they passed.

You know, it's just not what
they're looking for right now.

- I thought you loved it.

- I did, I do, I like you.

But you know, the
people upstairs?

They got their own
things going on.

Unfortunately for both of us,

they're the ones that
write the checks.

Darius? Hey, you still there?

- Yeah, yeah I'm still here.

- By the way
that draft you sent me,

it's not your best work.

Keep writing Darius.

- Okay. Thank you.

♪ I should get an A for
effort, I'm too tired ♪

♪ But I'm never giving up

♪ That's why I'm kinda in my

♪ Role model like it or
not I gotta play it ♪

♪ Sugar coat the rhymes
sometimes but still say it ♪

- What's doin', fellas?

- What up, Dee?
- Yo what's up?

- My dawg, back in business
and on top of his game again.

You good?

- Yeah. I'm good.

- Hey Dee I leave
my gun at your house

the last time I was there?

- Na'll, I ain't seen it.

- I can't find it nowhere.

- What you draggin' on Dee?

- No I'm cool.

♪ Cash from that
dude at the label ♪

♪ I'm just thinkin' back

♪ Here we go way back
way back way back ♪

♪ Here we go way back
way back way back ♪

♪ It's time to go way back

- Hey I be right back, I
gotta use the bathroom.

♪ In retrospect I
woulda did it the same ♪

♪ In hindsight I'm the
only one to blame ♪

♪ I ain't picky I'm
just real specific ♪

♪ I want nothin'
less than terrific ♪

♪ I know you

- Come on Darius you got this.

♪ Now here go get the money

♪ Sure I'm gonna get
it, get it, get it ♪

♪ Pain means I do
something right ♪

♪ So I'm gonna let it

♪ Yeah I'm gonna let it live

- Look at this clown.

He think that because
I was gone for a while,

I ain't that same dude.

- Dawg you know half of it.

I ain't want none
of that sweet talk,

We can get straight to it.

- Na'll fam, Fall back.

Let it play out.

- What's goin' on?

- It's Poncho, came up from DC.

Think he got the rights
to these streets.

- He get dealt with
in the streets too.

- You think it's gonna
turn into something?

- Wassup Fred?

- You tell me.

- Nigga ain't been
out 20 minutes

and he tryin' to call shots.

Los said something about
your little run-in.

- Na'll that wasn't no run-in.

Your man's almost got ran over.

- You tryin' to
get me goin' huh?

- Fool I'm tryin' to
get money, same as you.

- That's cool. You just can't
get it in my hood though.

- Your hood? Bruh you
not from around here.

I was born on these streets.

So I got the right to get
money on these streets.

But I'm also one
of the ones who say

who else can get money
on these streets.

- Is that right?
- Yeah that's right.

- It can get ugly real quick G.

- Use it or put your toy up.

- I see you gonna
make this difficult.

- Na'll lame, I'm
gonna get this money.

You gonna make this difficult.

- I feel you Fred,
yeah I feel you.

- Now push on with
that tough man now.

Keep crossing them tracks,

and you liable to get
ran over by a train.

- Oh for real?
- Yeah for real.

- See you later Fred.
- All right.

- I'll See ya.

Come on, come on.

- What you wanna do?

- I told you.

Let it play out.

- You know he ain't
gonna let this go down.

- Yeah I know.

- Depression can be brought
on for any number of reasons.

A chemical imbalance
in the brain,

a traumatic experience,

a combination of both.

There's still so much we
don't know about depression.

- I just, I just need
for it to ease up.

- And it can with
the right approach.

Like I said, there is
no one absolute fix.

Tell you what,

I'm gonna give you something
to help take the edge off.

It's called Celexa.

I'm gonna start you
with a small dose.

Meanwhile, I want you to
follow up with Dr. Nancy Franz.

She is really good at
getting to the root of issues

related to past trauma.

- How, this isn't
gonna, you know,

have me all spaced out is it?

- No, like I said, we're gonna
start you with a small dose

until we see what works best.

- Is this something
that will, you know,

eventually go away?

- It's hard to say.

Judging by what you told me
about your family history,

it's probably something
you're gonna be dealing with

for the long haul.

But it is manageable.

- Thank you Dr. kates.

- Not a problem.

Make sure you follow
up with Dr. Franz.

- I will.

- And make sure you take
that medication every day.

- Yes sir.

- Not one miss.

- Every day without
a miss, got it.

- Best of luck to you.
- Thank you.

♪ It's like shuttin' down

♪ You shuttin' down,
you shuttin' down ♪

♪ You're sayin' that too much

♪ It's like I've lost touch

♪ I ain't in no rush but
you're doin' much too much ♪

♪ Now who is such-and-such

♪ me and myself

♪ You know about
me, I have enough ♪

♪ So what you say,
you got it sewn up ♪

♪ Your friends are
opening your closure ♪

♪ Gave me some stichin'

♪ Some stitchin' so

♪ It's gettin' too
much exposure ♪

♪ You say you've
got it sewn up ♪

- Hey.
- Hey.

- How are the meds coming?

- Good, I just took 'em.

- Now you just gotta
get out of this house

and get some air.

- Right.

- Did you follow up
with the therapist lady?

- Yeah, called her a couple
of days ago, left a message.

- Now remember Dee, you
know what the doctor said.

You might need therapy
and take medication.

- Yeah, I'm on it Shan.

It's Fred outside.
- Okay.

- That'll be good for you.
- Yeah.

♪ Yeah

♪ Yeah

♪ You must be blinded
by the light ♪

- What's up cuz-o?

- You tell me.

- What happened to you?

- You know how I go.

- Poncho?

- Na'll, Los.

He thought he was tough,
so I had to show him what

tough really look like.

- Man, when this happen?

- A little bit ago.

- How bad was it?

- I just got a few bruises man.

- I'm saying for him?

- Oh, I mean, yeah he cool.

He gonna be eatin' through a
straw for the next six weeks,

but he'll be all right.

- Yo, you know
Poncho gonna be pissed bruh.

- Hell, they could share
a straw for all I care.

I'm about to pull over
man, so I can holla at you.

- What's up cuz?

- Man I'm glad to see
you back on your A-game.

- Yeah man.

But these pills, they
got me all jacked up.

Shan would have my ass if
she knew I wasn't taking 'em.

- You need to toss that whole
bottle in the trash man.

You don't need that bruh.

- Yeah, but I stopped.

- Damn right you need to stop.

Them pills is for
people who can't cope

with what's real out here.

I mean, what you look like
all doped up and everything?

You see these streets bruh?

These streets'll eat you alive

if you ain't on
top of your game.

- Yeah but I'm tryin' cuz.
- Well try harder man.

- 'Cause I can't stand to
have no smut on my record.

Not even people talkin'
crazy about my cuz-o.

You feel me?

Cuz. Cuz, where you goin' man?

- Hey Darius, come here son.

Come over here.

Look at you sad 'cause you
ain't starting on the team.

What now you wanna quit?

What'd you bat when you
play baseball with Elijah?

- 287.

- What'd you average
last winter on the hoop team?

- 10 and nine.

- 287 and 10 and nine.

You was all in.

But now, just 'cause you
ain't the man this time,

you wanna quit.

Life don't work that way, son.

You can't just give up
'cause things get rough.

- I can't be on the bench while
all my friends are starting.

- Let me tell you
something, Darius.

Every day I wanna give up
on things, but I can't.

Believe me son,

I wish I had the chance to do
half the things you get to do.

Can't give up son.
Keep fightin'.

Keep pushing. Keep believin'.

I just wish I had
more time with you.

Darius.

I'm batting zero son.

- Hey, how was your day?

- Good. It was good.

- How are the pills working?

- Good.

I'm beginning to feel
like myself again.

- That's funny, because
this pill bottle

looks mighty full to me.

- Look Shan-
- Don't open your damn mouth

to lie Dee, don't say a word.

The doctor told you to
take these pills every day.

Did he or did he not?

- Listen-
- Did he or did he not Dee?

- He did, but them things
were making me jittery.

- Jittery or depressed,
take your pick.

- I'm tryin'.
- Tryin' what?

- Tryin' to call Dr. Franz,

because I looked
through your phone

and I don't see her
number nowhere in there.

Keep lyin' to me.

- Why are you on my back?

- Because I love you Dee,
that's why I'm on your back.

- Well get off, because
I don't like it.

- You don't like it?

You don't like it, okay.

So you don't like it when
someone's trying to help you.

You don't like it when
someone's telling you the truth?

No, Darius just wants to be
a selfish ass little kid.

I don't care if
you don't like it.

How am I supposed to help you

when you don't even
wanna help yourself?

Stupid.

- Hi, I'd like to make an
appointment with Dr. Franz.

Okay.

- Hello Mr. Thomas,
I'm Kathy Franz.

- Hello Dr. Franz.

- Please just
Kathy's fine, okay?

So, what brings
you to my office?

- I guess I'm all messed up.

- You're not all messed up.

You're just dealing
with life's issues

the best that you can.

So again, what brings
you to my office?

- I guess I'm just dealin'
with some things like,

I don't think I've ever gotten
over the death of my father.

I keep seeing him
in my dreams, happy,

but then it just goes
completely wrong.

- The chain on your neck.

Tell me about that.

- He gave it to
me before he died.

And his father did
the same thing.

I've worn it ever
since I was little.

- So it's almost as if it
links you to both of them?

- Yeah.

Yeah.

- Wow, Mr. Thomas, I must say,

you are very in tune
with your feelings.

And that is a good thing.

It is going to take some
truths that are hard to face

in order to deal
with your depression.

- I just wanna do
whatever I have to do.

- Good.

Well, first things first.

I want you back on the Celexa.

Now, we'll lower the dose,

and that with some
time will help you

with your jitters, agreed?

Now, next, I want you to
sit and talk with everyone

in your circle of trust.

Explain to them where
your life is right now

and how they can help.

- Well that's easy.

It's my mother, my
girlfriend Shantell,

and my cousin Fred.

But they all see my
situation differently.

My girlfriend just
wants it to go away.

And she says she understands,
but I don't think she does.

And my mother wants
me to pray it out

and my cousin wants
me to thug it out.

- Well, just try your best to
explain to them individually

what you need from them.

There is absolutely no reason

why you can't have a good life,

both happy and
fulfilled, all right?

- No problem.
- Great.

- I look forward to
seeing you next week.

- The therapist wants
me to meet with everyone

in my circle to kinda
explain what's going on.

- Okay, so that everyone that
needs to know knows, right?

- Yeah, but I just need you
all to know that I just,

I just really needs your words.

I know you guys love me,

but other times I
just need silence.

I think I just need to
process things on my own.

- But what about Fred? Does he
know you're seeing therapist?

- No, not yet.

But come on babe, Fred is Fred.

He just wants me
to be super thug

and everything is gonna be okay.

- Right.

- I'm actually supposed to
meet up with him later on

to kinda explain
what I need from him.

- That's good.
- Yeah.

- And the therapist
wants me to meet with her

at least once a week.

And I want you to
start coming with me.

- Whatever you need
baby, I'm here.

- Yeah, I know.

- Hey Darius, you want
something to drink?

- No I'm good Mama.

- All right, now, you
know what day it is right?

You ready?

All right, you go on into
the car and get the stuff.

We'll meet you in the
kitchen, all right?

- Ma, help me wash this car.

- You know I ain't
in the mood today

for all your foolishness now.

- Come on.

Look, you don't go nowhere
but church and home, okay?

I mea, you need to get out.

Plus you could use the exercise.

- Watch your mouth.

- I'm just sayin'.

Look I'll wash and you rinse.
- What?

- I'll wish
and then you just rinse.

- Hey Sister Thomas.

- Well, hey Sister Jones,
how you doin' today?

- I'm doin' good
girl, how you doin'?

- I'm all right.

- Good, I'm heading
on down to the church

for midday worship,
you wanna come?

- No, think I'm gonna
stay right here,

help my son wash this car.

- Well you know the Lord
don't like it when we-

- The Lord don't care if I
miss one day of bible study.

- God bless.

- All right, come on.

- All right, look Ma, just look.

I need you to spray right here.

- Where, where you
sayin'? Right here?

- No, Ma, stop, stop!
- Right here?

- No, Ma that's not

where I'm goin'!
- Oh, where you want it?

- Where you want it?
- Stop playin'!

- You gettin' my shirt! Come on!

- What's up cuz.

- We been tight our whole lives,
ever since we were little.

You know you've always
been a big brother to me.

But right now I need
that big brother.

- What you talkin' about?

- I'm sufferin' from
depression dawg.

- Here you go with that again.

- I'm serious Fred.

That's why my father killed
himself, and his father too.

- So what you want from me Dee?

What you want me to
lay you on my shoulder

and pat you on your back?

- What I need for you
to do is understand man.

- Understand what Dee?

That you about to
let these white folks

turn you into a zombie?

I seen it in the joint
many a times man.

Soon as you start
takin' them pills,

your ass can barely function.
- It's not like that.

- It doesn't have
to be like that.

But it's pressin' on me cuz.

It's killin' me.

- Whatever cuz.

If you need me to hold
your hand, I'll do it.

I'm out man.

- Fred.

- All right, there go
that lame right there.

When we pull up, dump on him.

You ready lil homie?

- We did it young blood!

We did it! We the champs!

We're the champs
baby, we did it.

Come on man, get a drink man.

We did it, we the champs.

We the champs baby, we did it.

- What's up Fred?

- Fred!
- Let's go.

- Come on Fred.

Come on Fred get up. Get up!

Someone call the damn ambulance!

Someone call that
fuckin' ambulance!

Come on Fred, come on!

Come on Fred! Don't
do this to me, cuz!

Don't do me like this man!

Come on Fred, get up!

Get the fuck up
Fred, Get up! Get up!

♪ Name sold, make the call

♪ Grey, gold.

Your face will
never be the same. ♪

♪ Flame, bold, you'll
still the sun. ♪

♪ When the only
weapon is your name ♪

♪ And that won't count
if you don't aim ♪

♪ Good intentions hold us back

♪ You should stand down

♪ Hey, oh

♪ Hey, ooh

♪ Hey, oh

♪ Hey, ooh

♪ Shame, controlled

♪ Like a cage behind
deep dark eye ♪

♪ The games unfold,
you have won ♪

♪ Tame your soul

♪ Let it grow without a show

♪ Make the goal and run

When the only weapon
is your name ♪

♪ And that won't count
if you don't aim. ♪

♪ Good intentions hold us back

♪ You should stand down

♪ Oh

♪ Oh

♪ When the only
weapon is your name ♪

- Ah, fuck.

Hello?
- Darius?

- What's wrong?

- Baby it's your mom.

- She okay?

- No baby she's not.

- All right, all
right I'm on my way.

- Let us all be seated.

Many of them looked unto
Jesus for verbal gymnastics.

But according to John 14:12,

he simply said that
"In my father's house,

there are many mansions.

If it were not so, I
would have told you.

I go to prepare
a place for you."

The Bible teaches
us that eternal life

is not here on earth, but
shall be in the hereafter,

in a place that God has
prepared for eternal peace,

a peace not seen or heard
by the eyes and ears of man,

for I know my redeemer lives.

Thus, when my flesh
has been destroyed,

I shall stand and see God.

For we all know that
the Lord has said,

"Whoever shall believeth in me

shall not perish, but shall
have everlasting life."

- You coming to bed baby?

- Nah I'm gonna sit
here for a little bit.

- I cannot
believe the day has come

that a son of mine
does not believe

in the House of the Lord.

- Do you love me son?

- Whatever you're going through,

I'm going through.

- Depression mean you're weak.

- I don't want it!

- And only weak
guys get depressed.

- I don't want it!

- Pull yourself together, D.

- I don't want it,

I don't want it!
- Man chill with all that,

man you're good.

You can't keep laying
around here like some lame

'cause you got a few
things goin' on at work.

- God if you're
there, help me please!

Help me please, God!

I need you man! I
need you foreal man!

I need you, God.

I need you.

- Dear Darius,

you're too young to
completely understand

why I did what I did.

I don't want you to ever think

that it was because
I didn't love you,

that somehow you
did something wrong.

The pain just got too
heavy for me to hold.

I feel like I took
the easy way out.

But life seemed hard.

Be good to yourself son

and to the people who love you.

And if this monster comes
for you, keep fightin',

more than I could.

I love you, Pops.

Now, slow it down
son, do circles.

Yeah, yeah just like that.

- Do you think I'll ever get
to drive it one day Pops?

- Maybe.

Depends.

- Depends on what?

- Well it depends
on if you understand

everything that
it represents son.

- Well I know it
represents the bond

between you and Granddad.

- Yeah, that's right.

And if you get that,

then maybe one day I
will let you drive it.

Matter of fact, hop on in
now and see how it feels.

Yeah, go on in there.

Mm-hm, yeah see how
that feel right there.

Yeah.

Get in son. Go on get in.

- Yeah.

- You turned out to
be a good man Darius.

A strong man. I'm proud of you.

- You spent all of
that time teaching me.

- Nah, I was just
gettin' you prepared

for what might be.

You wanna come with me?

- No.

I wanna live.

I'm sorry Pops,
but I wanna live.

- Well live then son.

Live, even when it gets hard.

Keep doing it anyway.

- I miss you so much Pops.

- I miss you too son.

But I'm with you all the time.

I was there on your first date,

your first job,

graduation.

I'll be with you
your entire life son.

- Hey Pops um,

you know I'm about
to have a kid.

You think maybe that-

- We ain't going to worry
about all that right now.

You just love him or her the
way that I tried to love you.

Get 'em prepared, just in case.

- Just in case.

- You ready baby?

- Yup. I didn't think
I'd ever find a job.

- You'll be fineee D.
They're gonna love you.

- Not as much as I
love you Mrs. Thomas.

- Not as much as I
love you Mr. Thomas.

- All right I'm gonna
go to work okay?

I love you.
- Love you.

- What does a big movie need?

Exactly, we need big money.

All the stops, right?

We need big budget, we
need big cast, we need big
food for craft services.

I do not go cheap.

So we need you to
open your checkbook

and you to open your check.

You writing this down?

Get the pen out,
get the paper out,

we gotta make this happen.

The only way we make this
happen is we get some money.

You open your check,
you got a pen?

Do you have a pen? All
right, write that down.

Darius! Oh, how are you doing?

- Hey Rick, how are you doin'?

- Oh I'm so happy to see you.

Are you ready for today?
- Yeah I'm ready.

- I knew, I knew when I first
saw you, you looked familiar.

You look just like him.

Your dad man, he's a hell of
a writer, hell of a writer.

He'd be really,
really proud of you.

- Thank you.

- And I'm really happy to
see you keep his work alive.

- Me too.

- Are you excited?
- I'm ready.

- All right
let's make some magic.

You got it?
- Yeah.

- All right.

Is everyone ready?

We are gonna make a movie!

- All right let's get it up!

Quiet on the set!

Let's roll the sound.
- Sound speeds.

- Camera!
- Camera rolling.

- Slate!

- "Any Day Last Summer"
scene one, take one.

♪ Life's been good to me

♪ Life's been good to me

♪ Fight this battle,
fight this battle ♪

♪ Life's been good to me

♪ Life's been good to me

♪ Fight this battle,
fight this battle ♪

♪ I know life's
been good to me ♪

♪ He's been my
mentor, my destiny ♪

♪ And now it's in my soul too

♪ Know that he'll be
there telling me ♪

♪ And now I'm crying

♪ Find myself alone trying

♪ To do it all

♪ Get over it now

♪ Life's been good to me

♪ Life's been good to me

♪ Fight this battle,
fight this battle ♪

♪ Life's been good to me

♪ Life's been good to me

♪ Fight this battle,
fight this battle ♪

♪ Spending most of my
time wondering how ♪

♪ Disease came by

♪ And struck me
without a doubt ♪

♪ Be It rain, the sun or shine

♪ he'll be on time

♪ Still I run as I worry about
the way things turned out ♪

♪ Praying I heal

♪ And find a way

♪ To better days

♪ I know I'm not alone

♪ It's the realest
thing I'll ever know ♪

♪ God's been so good to me