Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,916 --> 00:00:05,826
- Ooh, pretty.
2
00:00:05,918 --> 00:00:07,958
Are these "I love you" flowers,
or "I'm sorry" flowers?
3
00:00:08,051 --> 00:00:10,661
- They're for you from a fan,
which makes them
4
00:00:10,749 --> 00:00:12,359
"Please scrub our address
from the internet
5
00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:16,277
so I can feel safe
in my own home" flowers.
6
00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:20,674
- "Happy birthday." Nope.
7
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:23,719
- I like flowers.
8
00:00:23,806 --> 00:00:26,026
- Okay.
9
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:28,073
We are all booked
for Carly's birthday trip
10
00:00:28,158 --> 00:00:30,328
to Snoqualmie Falls.
11
00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:31,641
- Yeah!
- Woo!
12
00:00:31,727 --> 00:00:33,637
- Snoqualmie Falls
birthday trip, yes!
13
00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:36,469
You guys are going to have
so much fun. Send pics.
14
00:00:36,558 --> 00:00:38,168
- You're not coming?
15
00:00:38,255 --> 00:00:40,035
- Carly sends us away
every year
16
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:42,347
because of her
evil birthday curse.
17
00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:45,313
[together]
Ooh.
18
00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:47,353
- Don't know why you guys
are doing ghost noises.
19
00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:49,918
I'd take a ghost
over this curse any day.
20
00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:53,176
Ghosts can be hot.
Remember Patrick Swayze?
21
00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:56,450
- She's had a few minor mishaps
on a few July 24ths.
22
00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:58,974
- A Few? Minor?
23
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,929
16th birthday, gummy bear lamp,
burned down my bedroom.
24
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:05,068
19th, chipped my tooth
on a banana, 24th,
25
00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:07,372
got mugged
for my Tamagotchi.
26
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:09,938
I miss you, Kuchipatchi.
27
00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:10,976
It's the curse.
28
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,201
[together]
Ooh!
29
00:01:13,290 --> 00:01:15,770
- Hey, Freddie, when did you
get served your divorce papers
30
00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:19,038
for both marriages?
31
00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:22,262
- July 24th.
I rescind my "woo."
32
00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:24,953
- That's why I now spend
my birthday alone
33
00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:26,961
with a pie and nothing else.
34
00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:29,223
[knock at door]
35
00:01:29,306 --> 00:01:32,526
If I'm home alone in my pajamas
eating soft food with a spoon,
36
00:01:32,614 --> 00:01:36,104
there's no way the curse
can touch me.
37
00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:37,843
- Happy birthday, Carly Shay.
38
00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:40,103
- Principal Franklin? Hi.
39
00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:43,097
It's so good to see you.
40
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:44,710
Curse.
41
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,670
- ♪ I know you see ♪
42
00:01:47,759 --> 00:01:49,979
♪ Somehow the world
will change for me ♪
43
00:01:50,066 --> 00:01:53,766
[together]
♪ And be so wonderful ♪
44
00:01:53,852 --> 00:01:57,682
- ♪ So wake up the members
of my nation ♪
45
00:01:57,769 --> 00:01:59,379
[together]
♪ It's your time to be ♪
46
00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:02,337
- ♪ There's no chance
unless you take one ♪
47
00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:04,906
♪ And the time to see
the brighter side ♪
48
00:02:04,994 --> 00:02:08,264
♪ Of every situation ♪
49
00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:10,125
♪ Some things
are meant to be ♪
50
00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:14,607
♪ So give me your best
and leave the rest to me ♪
51
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,400
- Why would you do that?
We love Principal Franklin.
52
00:02:18,486 --> 00:02:21,226
- Him being here can only mean
one of two things.
53
00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:23,745
There was a clerical error
and I didn't actually graduate,
54
00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,969
or the school burned down and
they're trying to pin it on me
55
00:02:26,058 --> 00:02:27,838
for leaving sparklers
in my locker.
56
00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:29,500
- Oh, get out of the way.
57
00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:33,244
- Get out of the way.
58
00:02:33,327 --> 00:02:34,677
So sorry about that,
Principal Franklin.
59
00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:36,633
Please, come in, have a seat.
60
00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:40,121
- Don't worry;
it's not about the sparklers.
61
00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:41,473
- Then what does bring you here
62
00:02:41,552 --> 00:02:44,032
so dangerously close
to my birthday?
63
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,950
- I come bearing a gift.
64
00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:48,035
Remember when Ms. Briggs asked
all of her students
65
00:02:48,124 --> 00:02:49,914
to write letters
to their future selves
66
00:02:49,995 --> 00:02:51,685
to be delivered
on their 27th birthday?
67
00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,560
- Oh, yeah,
68
00:02:53,651 --> 00:02:54,871
The "Where do you see yourself
in 15 years?" thing.
69
00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:56,567
She said she was
going to deliver them herself.
70
00:02:56,654 --> 00:02:58,614
- Well, she was supposed to,
but she canceled
71
00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:01,180
at the last minute.
- She twist an ankle?
72
00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:03,358
Break a hip?
She fall down a well?
73
00:03:03,444 --> 00:03:06,104
Please tell me
she fell down a well.
74
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,616
- Oh, she's fine.
75
00:03:07,709 --> 00:03:09,279
She just hates you.
- Mm, sure.
76
00:03:09,363 --> 00:03:11,283
- Yeah, that makes sense.
- Here you go.
77
00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:12,535
- This is so cool.
78
00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:14,107
- She also gave me
yours, Freddie.
79
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,764
- But my birthday isn't
for several months.
80
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:17,807
- Well, she hates you too.
81
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:20,983
And I'm retired, so I'm only
making this trip once.
82
00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:22,720
- Well, do you want to be
with us while we open these?
83
00:03:22,811 --> 00:03:24,121
I'll bet you're dying
to hear our letter.
84
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,474
- Oh, Freddie, that's sweet.
85
00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:28,214
But I ran into some traffic
on the way here,
86
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:31,075
and I got a little nosy,
so I'm all caught up.
87
00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:33,077
Bye-bye.
88
00:03:33,169 --> 00:03:35,559
- It's good to see you.
- Bye.
89
00:03:39,393 --> 00:03:42,483
- "Hey, Carly Shay.
It's me, Carly Shay.
90
00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:43,790
"I'm writing this while I wait
91
00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,485
for the tether ball court
to free up."
92
00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:49,973
- Ah, tether ball.
The common man's polo.
93
00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:51,745
- "Happy birthday.
94
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:54,540
"Or at least by now I hope
you have happy birthdays
95
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:57,145
"and that you found the courage
to finally face your fears
96
00:03:57,237 --> 00:04:01,977
"and break the birthday curse,
because it's been debilitating,
97
00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:04,237
"which was this week's
vocab word.
98
00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:06,461
"Have fun skydiving
from your hover car,
99
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:11,160
my happier future self.
Love, Carly."
100
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,951
Poor 12-year-old me;
she thought she had it bad,
101
00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:16,166
and she hadn't even met
the goat yet.
102
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,686
- Goat?
- We don't talk about the goat.
103
00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:22,651
- Freddie,
what's your letter say?
104
00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:24,260
- "Hey, stud.
I know you've been partying
105
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,481
"like a baller,
but you're almost 30 now.
106
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:29,970
"So stop debilitating already.
It's time to buckle down,
107
00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:32,232
"start a business,
and maybe have a kid.
108
00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:34,925
"I know it'll be hard to let go
of our sick, nasty party past,
109
00:04:35,013 --> 00:04:37,893
but it's time to start
our next chapter."
110
00:04:37,973 --> 00:04:41,413
- Freddie, you're so ahead
of schedule; good for you, man.
111
00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:43,238
- Yeah, I guess.
I mean, my marriages
112
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:45,676
and the businesses I started
were all colossal failures,
113
00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:47,723
and I have nothing
to show for it.
114
00:04:47,809 --> 00:04:50,729
- Um, hi.
115
00:04:50,812 --> 00:04:53,382
- Other than you, the most
precious part of my universe,
116
00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:57,727
I have wasted my 20s.
I forgot to have fun.
117
00:04:57,819 --> 00:04:59,119
- How do you think I feel?
118
00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:02,131
I wanted to have fun;
I just couldn't.
119
00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:06,264
- Dear Spence, you crushed it.
120
00:05:09,787 --> 00:05:11,917
- And that's why every dress
needs pockets. Okay?
121
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,747
I'm not trying to have
my purse strap pull down
122
00:05:13,835 --> 00:05:16,925
the side of my dress
and expose my bra strap, psh.
123
00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:19,712
- You talk a lot.
- Oh, thank you.
124
00:05:19,797 --> 00:05:22,367
And you're welcome.
125
00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:24,062
- Hello, I'll have--
- Hold up.
126
00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:28,629
I got to turn these croissants
90 degrees every hour
127
00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:32,159
so they get stale
at the same pace.
128
00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:36,994
People are so impatient.
Oh, my God. You're--
129
00:05:37,075 --> 00:05:39,375
- Alexavier,
noted fashion photographer,
130
00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:41,859
bocce enthusiast,
and all-around standup guy.
131
00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:44,870
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, you're adorable.
132
00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:46,693
I love being recognized.
133
00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:48,351
Except when they have
a subpoena, and then I'm like,
134
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:51,915
"Alexavier, what a dumb name."
What's your name?
135
00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:53,963
- It's...
[clears throat]
136
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:56,619
my name...
[clears throat]
137
00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:59,624
Merffin.
- Huh.
138
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:01,667
Your name tag says Harper,
but you know what?
139
00:06:01,752 --> 00:06:05,232
Who uses their government name
anymore?
140
00:06:05,321 --> 00:06:09,631
I'll have a black coffee
and an evenly stale croissant.
141
00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:12,757
Or should I have
the banana bread?
142
00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:14,030
What do you recommend?
143
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:18,812
- Oh, uh...ah.
144
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,860
Okay.
145
00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:23,336
- Oh, wow.
146
00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:32,699
Could I get a black coffee,
a croissant,
147
00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:35,183
and a muscle relaxer
for Merffin?
148
00:06:42,053 --> 00:06:44,323
- Oh, you overpacking too?
149
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,284
I brought three evening gowns
and zero bras.
150
00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:50,763
- I want to be ready
for anything. Anything.
151
00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:54,065
I may want
a fall-side margarita.
152
00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:56,242
- Where is it?
- Wait, stop.
153
00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:57,628
- What?
- Her secret stash of things
154
00:06:57,721 --> 00:06:59,291
my mom
won't allow in our apartment?
155
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:01,325
- I'm telling you,
there isn't one.
156
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:02,601
- It's in the drawer
across from the sink.
157
00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:04,903
- Yeah.
- You just made the list.
158
00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:06,079
- No!
159
00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:13,562
- Ooh, that's a nice touch.
You're off the list.
160
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:15,350
- Yes!
161
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:20,305
- Sugary cereal, nunchucks,
a video game where you play
162
00:07:20,396 --> 00:07:22,956
someone playing
a violent video game.
163
00:07:23,051 --> 00:07:25,661
[gasps]
164
00:07:25,749 --> 00:07:30,189
Ohh. This is perfect.
165
00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:31,965
- No, there is nothing sadder
166
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:34,020
than an adult man
on a skateboard.
167
00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:36,015
- It's not a skateboard;
it's a way of life.
168
00:07:39,371 --> 00:07:42,291
Later, haters.
169
00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:44,644
- Hi, Freddie. Bye, Freddie.
170
00:07:44,725 --> 00:07:46,025
[clattering]
171
00:07:46,117 --> 00:07:48,897
- Help me, haters.
172
00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:51,300
- What? He called us haters.
173
00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:52,733
- Big announcement.
174
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:55,000
I'm contemplating
dipping my teensiest toe
175
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:57,743
into the waters
of a birthday celebration.
176
00:07:57,825 --> 00:07:59,385
This letter got me thinking.
177
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,349
I need to face my fears
and do the hardest thing
178
00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:03,527
for a woman
in her mid- to late-20s.
179
00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:05,353
Enjoy her birthdays.
180
00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:08,311
- Uh, Harper,
I eed-nay to alk-tay
181
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:12,840
to ou-yay in the udio-stay.
- Okay-kay.
182
00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:15,797
He probably wants
to talk about the trip.
183
00:08:15,886 --> 00:08:18,536
- At least I've still got
my backup stash in your place.
184
00:08:18,628 --> 00:08:20,278
- I'm sorry, what?
185
00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:22,629
- So you're going to have
a birthday party, huh?
186
00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:25,289
That sounds fun.
187
00:08:25,374 --> 00:08:29,164
- No. No party.
I just want something small.
188
00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:31,417
Something like...
- A total change of plans.
189
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,641
Snoqualmie is out;
surprise party is in,
190
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:36,170
and we have to make it huge.
191
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:39,214
- This is a huge mistake.
She said she wanted
192
00:08:39,301 --> 00:08:41,521
to dip a little toe,
not do a belly flop.
193
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,128
- I'm telling you,
Carly wants...
194
00:08:43,218 --> 00:08:45,438
- A quiet drive
through the park.
195
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:48,475
- Really?
With your driving history?
196
00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:50,701
- You're right; I'm not
thinking small enough.
197
00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:52,661
Maybe I could just
put ice cream on my pie.
198
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:54,879
I just generally
want to avoid...
199
00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:57,929
- People. Balloons.
A champagne tower.
200
00:08:58,015 --> 00:09:00,445
A surprise party to end
all surprise parties.
201
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,800
You heard the letter;
Carly needs this.
202
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:04,240
- But Harper doesn't.
203
00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:06,106
I really wanted to go
to Snoqualmie Falls
204
00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:09,457
so I could
throw myself off of it.
205
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:14,679
- Okay, let it out.
Dr. Spence is here.
206
00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:17,121
- My idol came into work today,
207
00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:18,778
and instead of being my normal,
fun,
208
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:22,342
fabulous, super charismatic,
sexy self, I froze up.
209
00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:24,351
- It's like when I had dinner
with the Dalai Lama.
210
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:26,703
He was a lousy tipper.
211
00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:28,223
- You don't understand.
212
00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:30,046
If I could have impressed
Alexavier,
213
00:09:30,134 --> 00:09:31,794
he might let me style
one of his shoots.
214
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:34,655
And that could change
my entire career trajectory.
215
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:36,528
- Alexavier the photographer?
216
00:09:36,619 --> 00:09:39,879
- You know how Alexavier is?
- I'm going to ignore your tone
217
00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:42,490
while I do you
an enormous favor.
218
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,502
Xay-xay and I go way back.
I'll just invite him
219
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,374
to the party,
and you can have a do-over.
220
00:09:46,455 --> 00:09:48,325
- This party is the best idea
you've ever had.
221
00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:49,633
Carly's going to eat
it up like...
222
00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:52,329
- Rocky road?
Chocolate chip mint?
223
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:53,847
Oh, who am I kidding?
224
00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:56,511
I should stick with vanilla
on my birthday pie.
225
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,856
- Boy, that goat really did
a number on you.
226
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:08,172
- ♪ Happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me ♪
227
00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:14,959
♪ Happy uneventful,
safe birthday ♪
228
00:10:15,049 --> 00:10:16,619
♪ No need risking a gas leak ♪
229
00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:22,186
Probably shouldn't put it
in the exploding,
230
00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:23,883
nuclear box either.
231
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:31,496
Do I risk brain freeze?
I do not.
232
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:39,160
Hmm, a knife would
make things easier...
233
00:10:39,247 --> 00:10:41,637
or deadlier.
234
00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:44,168
[phone dings]
235
00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:54,654
- On it.
236
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:57,611
Plant emoji,
watering can emoji.
237
00:11:03,227 --> 00:11:07,227
[together]
Surprise!
238
00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:09,628
- What have you done?
239
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,237
- How could you?
- Uh, great question.
240
00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:20,900
Took a lot of work to pull this
together in 24 hours,
241
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:24,074
but Spencer
came through once again.
242
00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:25,861
- When I mentioned upping
my birthday game,
243
00:11:25,946 --> 00:11:28,856
I meant maybe sticking
a candle in my pie.
244
00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:30,519
Not lit, obviously.
245
00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:32,652
- But you can have so much
more than just pie.
246
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:36,385
Look at everyone who came.
247
00:11:36,478 --> 00:11:38,788
- Principal Franklin?
- What can I say?
248
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:43,012
I got a Google alert
for champagne tower.
249
00:11:43,093 --> 00:11:44,793
- All of you came
to celebrate me?
250
00:11:44,878 --> 00:11:45,748
[together]
Yes.
251
00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:48,095
- Aw.
252
00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:49,355
Okay, party's over,
everybody out.
253
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:51,057
- No, no!
254
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:52,755
You are celebrating
this birthday.
255
00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:54,632
Duke, you're on the door;
no one leaves
256
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,634
unless they are giving birth
or covered in vomit.
257
00:11:56,716 --> 00:12:00,546
- Their own or someone else's?
- Use your best judgment.
258
00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:04,332
Listen, it's going to be
a curse-free night; I promise.
259
00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:07,119
Just have fun; let me be
the hyper-vigilant one.
260
00:12:07,204 --> 00:12:10,904
Ooh, Jenga.
261
00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:14,391
- I don't feel safe.
262
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:16,612
- Birthday hug.
- Ahh!
263
00:12:16,692 --> 00:12:18,612
Harper,
why would you let this happen?
264
00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:20,224
What would make you think
I want this party?
265
00:12:20,304 --> 00:12:21,744
- Spencer insisted.
266
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:23,608
And I'm getting
absolutely nothing out of it,
267
00:12:23,699 --> 00:12:26,439
except for maybe
Alexavier might be here.
268
00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:29,008
- Hope he's got good insurance.
- Just so I don't get
269
00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:30,746
tongue-tied,
I have subtly placed
270
00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:32,617
a few note cards
throughout the apartment
271
00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:35,188
with fun icebreakers
and quirky fashion facts.
272
00:12:37,495 --> 00:12:38,755
- Do any of them
have instructions
273
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,665
for the Heimlich or CPR?
274
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,330
Saving lives
is always on trend.
275
00:12:43,414 --> 00:12:45,904
Wait, that gives me an idea.
Come with me.
276
00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:50,202
All right, hold on to this,
and then I'll...
277
00:12:53,381 --> 00:12:56,691
Okay, now get my legs.
278
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,166
- Okay, wait.
If we're going to go
279
00:12:58,255 --> 00:13:02,425
full crazy,
at least let me make it cute.
280
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:05,700
Leave it to
Harper Scissorhands.
281
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:10,175
All right, now give me
a little catwalk.
282
00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:11,087
- I like it.
[air bubbles popping]
283
00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:15,321
Also, popping myself
is very soothing.
284
00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:18,583
- Who made this look?
Not only is it gorgeous,
285
00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:21,147
it is a searing commentary
on the role of fashion
286
00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:23,365
in a cruel and dangerous world.
287
00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,244
[air bubble pops]
Plus, it's interactive, ha-hah.
288
00:13:25,326 --> 00:13:28,066
It's a joy for the senses.
Don't you agree?
289
00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:32,855
- Can't...read.
290
00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:35,642
Too far away.
291
00:13:35,727 --> 00:13:37,897
- Always fun to see you again,
Merffin.
292
00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:46,909
- "Mark Jacobs has a SpongeBob
SquarePants tattoo."
293
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,700
Damn it, that's a quirky fact.
294
00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:53,354
- Hey, be careful.
295
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:58,531
That handrail's
not just a suggestion.
296
00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:01,540
I wish someone else responsible
was at this party.
297
00:14:01,623 --> 00:14:02,973
Where's Freddie
when you need him?
298
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:06,979
- Who's ready to get drunk?
299
00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:09,153
- Freddie. It's me, Duke.
300
00:14:09,239 --> 00:14:10,759
- Hey, what's up, D-bag?
301
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:16,770
This is SnotRag,
MC-GymShorts, and Lloyd.
302
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,026
Now, if you'd be so chill
303
00:14:18,118 --> 00:14:20,638
as to direct us
to your fattest keg?
304
00:14:20,729 --> 00:14:23,039
[chuckles]
305
00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:24,473
- Oh, God, Freddie.
306
00:14:24,559 --> 00:14:25,819
You're an iguana guy now?
307
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:28,648
- Living the dream.
308
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:30,297
- Don't you think you might've
taken the time machine
309
00:14:30,391 --> 00:14:32,091
back a little too far?
310
00:14:32,175 --> 00:14:34,475
You're supposed to be
reliving your 20s, not puberty.
311
00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:37,699
- Pfft. Girls are lame.
312
00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:39,309
Not you, SnotRag.
313
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,270
[upbeat funky music]
314
00:14:42,359 --> 00:14:45,929
♪ ♪
315
00:14:46,015 --> 00:14:47,925
- Carly.
- What?
316
00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:49,847
One little bump
and these pretzel poppers
317
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:52,282
become salty shrapnel.
318
00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:54,499
- You know, I thought you might
still be having a tough time
319
00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:56,899
with your curse,
which is why I have a plan B.
320
00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:00,941
- [slurping]
321
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:05,950
That is disgusting.
322
00:15:06,035 --> 00:15:08,385
- Huh?
323
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:12,912
- Respect.
- Hah.
324
00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:14,739
- Mystic Zagnat,
325
00:15:14,826 --> 00:15:17,476
reader of fortunes
and healer of misfortunes,
326
00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:21,658
I present to you
Seattle's lostest soul.
327
00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:25,836
- Please sit,
my bubble-wrapped child.
328
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,355
- Just give it a chance, Carly.
Just let the magic happen.
329
00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:30,929
- Uh, just to clarify,
I don't do magic.
330
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,627
I do real stuff.
331
00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:36,984
Now, pick a card.
332
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:38,286
- What's the worst
that could happen?
333
00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:43,643
- The death card.
334
00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:46,635
The death card is the worst,
and it has happened.
335
00:15:46,728 --> 00:15:50,208
- "Alexavier, hello.
336
00:15:50,297 --> 00:15:54,037
"Flip card.
I am a big fan.
337
00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:56,687
"Smile.
338
00:15:56,781 --> 00:15:58,041
"Flip card.
339
00:15:58,131 --> 00:16:02,001
Alexavier, hello."
340
00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:04,351
- Mmm.
341
00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:09,011
Oh, this champer
goes down so good.
342
00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:11,408
[retches]
343
00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:14,322
Oh, it comes up so bad.
344
00:16:14,408 --> 00:16:16,888
I'm making mistakes!
345
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,536
Oh, hey, man, you got something
on your shirt.
346
00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:22,940
- Help me.
347
00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:24,545
- Sorry, no one leaves
348
00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:26,935
unless you're having a baby
or covered in--yeah.
349
00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:29,339
You can go.
350
00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:32,033
Oh, not you.
351
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,601
- My water just broke. Ow.
352
00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:37,038
- Oh, congratulations.
The miracle of life.
353
00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:42,959
- Carly, it's going to be okay.
- Yeah, an okay time to die.
354
00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:46,135
- Actually, the death card
is deceptive.
355
00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:49,702
It doesn't mean you die;
it signals a rebirth.
356
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,011
Has something been
holding you back
357
00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:52,617
that you wish
to break free from?
358
00:16:52,707 --> 00:16:54,137
- Yes.
359
00:16:54,230 --> 00:16:56,100
Are you saying it's possible
to break the curse?
360
00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:57,279
- That's exactly what he--
361
00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:59,844
- Zagnat,
I was talking to Zagnat.
362
00:16:59,931 --> 00:17:02,671
- Yes, but I'll need an object
that represents the curse.
363
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,200
- I could rustle up
a Tamagotchi.
364
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:10,245
- I have something else
in mind.
365
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:13,033
It has pockets.
366
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:18,169
- Place it on the tray.
Now, repeat after me.
367
00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:23,224
Mysterium Casu Interficere.
368
00:17:23,303 --> 00:17:25,833
Mysterium Casu Inter...
- Mysterium Casu...
369
00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:28,404
Vanilla latte.
370
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,832
- [grunts]
- Oh, my God.
371
00:17:30,919 --> 00:17:32,619
- Too real!
372
00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:35,273
- The gods of Fortuna
have broken your curse.
373
00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:38,838
- That's it? I just had to burn
a stupid letter?
374
00:17:38,927 --> 00:17:40,147
- I mean, if you want
to totally diminish my role
375
00:17:40,233 --> 00:17:42,803
in all this, okay.
376
00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:44,757
- I can't believe it.
377
00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:47,236
This entire party has been
a series of death traps,
378
00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:51,067
the handrail, the toothpicks,
a spontaneous fire,
379
00:17:51,157 --> 00:17:53,287
and nothing has gone wrong.
380
00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:55,936
I think I might
actually be cured.
381
00:17:56,031 --> 00:18:00,251
In fact, I'm free.
382
00:18:00,340 --> 00:18:04,210
I'm going to use the microwave.
383
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:06,390
- Albert, that was amazing.
384
00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:09,036
- I see spirits
and smell toast.
385
00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:11,311
- You can drop the act;
she's gone.
386
00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:14,054
Oh, best 20 bucks of my life.
387
00:18:14,136 --> 00:18:16,486
We both know there's no curse.
388
00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:20,319
That's not great.
389
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:25,275
- What do you mean aneurysms
are the number one cause
390
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:27,015
of death for party performers?
391
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,146
Wow. Yes, in the corner.
392
00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:30,978
Also, we're low on ice if you
want to grab some on the way...
393
00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:32,326
hello?
Hello?
394
00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:41,600
[laughs]
395
00:18:41,685 --> 00:18:43,725
That is hilarious, Zagnat;
you kill me.
396
00:18:43,818 --> 00:18:45,038
Oh, hey, Carly.
397
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,394
- Hey. I just wanted to say
398
00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:49,264
you're the best
big brother ever.
399
00:18:49,345 --> 00:18:52,825
Zagnat, you really are amazing.
400
00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:55,444
- He's in a trance.
401
00:18:55,525 --> 00:18:57,215
- Time to open presents.
402
00:18:57,310 --> 00:19:01,580
- Time to wrap you up.
403
00:19:01,662 --> 00:19:04,362
- Oh, Beezus, let this work.
404
00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:06,147
- Thank you.
405
00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:08,362
I just had to scrub myself
all the way down to my soul.
406
00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:12,721
I'll get you a new loofah.
Merffin, you are a lifesaver.
407
00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:17,937
- Alexavier,
allow me to explain.
408
00:19:18,026 --> 00:19:18,936
[phone rattles]
409
00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:20,637
Oh, crap, dropped my phone.
410
00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:21,904
Oh, it's under the fridge.
411
00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:24,026
One second. Augh!
412
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:26,429
Oh, there's
my driver's license.
413
00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:30,173
Okay, I'm back.
You are my idol.
414
00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:32,166
That is why every time
you come near me
415
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:33,428
I am speechless.
416
00:19:37,524 --> 00:19:41,404
- Was that you speaking
on the phone?
417
00:19:41,484 --> 00:19:44,974
Take my hands.
Take my hands.
418
00:19:45,053 --> 00:19:48,063
Now, speak.
You can do it, Merffin.
419
00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:49,803
- Ooh.
- You can do it.
420
00:19:49,884 --> 00:19:51,544
Put one syllable
in front of the next.
421
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:53,445
Come on now, you can do it.
422
00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:54,850
- Oooh...
- Tell me something amazing.
423
00:19:54,932 --> 00:19:59,982
- I made bubble dress.
- Ahh!
424
00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:02,678
Pop goes my mind.
425
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:12,170
- Here we go, Lloyd,
nice and fast.
426
00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:15,874
[together]
Whoa!
427
00:20:15,953 --> 00:20:18,963
- Brava, Carly. Everybody loves
a good party trick.
428
00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:22,183
- Thank you. Great suit.
It's amazing.
429
00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:25,274
- No, it's a Merffin.
430
00:20:25,354 --> 00:20:28,144
[knock at door]
431
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,747
- Thank God you guys are here.
432
00:20:29,837 --> 00:20:31,097
Now, listen,
it's my sister's birthday,
433
00:20:31,186 --> 00:20:32,486
and she cannot know
someone died.
434
00:20:32,579 --> 00:20:35,709
So just give me a second.
435
00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:38,449
Hey, everybody,
can I get your attention?
436
00:20:38,541 --> 00:20:41,461
It's time for grown up piñata.
437
00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:43,074
[cheers and applause]
438
00:20:43,154 --> 00:20:44,724
- What makes it grown up?
439
00:20:44,808 --> 00:20:47,328
- Oh, it's filled with
gift cards and lottery tickets.
440
00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:48,640
- But I still get
to hit it, right?
441
00:20:48,725 --> 00:20:52,285
- Oh, yeah.
Let's get you blindfolded.
442
00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:55,731
All right, and swing away.
443
00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:57,339
Hey, batter, batter,
batter, batter.
444
00:20:57,430 --> 00:21:00,130
[together]
Whoa! Whoa!
445
00:21:00,215 --> 00:21:02,085
- Okay, he's over there
under that inconspicuous pile
446
00:21:02,173 --> 00:21:03,783
of bubble wrap.
447
00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:06,791
Take your time; she's never
broken a piñata in her life.
448
00:21:06,874 --> 00:21:08,964
- I broke the piñata!
449
00:21:09,050 --> 00:21:11,970
- Move, move, move, move, move.
450
00:21:12,053 --> 00:21:14,623
- Spence, this is so fun.
You came up with everything.
451
00:21:14,708 --> 00:21:19,708
- Almost. Um, hey, you guys,
452
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,410
who wants to watch
Freddie crowd-surf?
453
00:21:21,497 --> 00:21:24,107
- I do.
- Freddie. Freddie.
454
00:21:24,195 --> 00:21:26,495
both: Freddie.
Freddie. Freddie. Freddie.
455
00:21:26,589 --> 00:21:28,419
- I got you, bro.
456
00:21:28,504 --> 00:21:31,684
- Woo!
457
00:21:31,768 --> 00:21:33,508
- Oh. Oh, sorry.
Oh, I don't got you.
458
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:39,335
- I'm okay.
- Yeah!
459
00:21:39,428 --> 00:21:43,348
- Ha-ha! Hey!
460
00:21:43,432 --> 00:21:45,092
- Neck feels weird, though.
461
00:21:45,173 --> 00:21:46,743
- Thanks for
the best birthday ever.
462
00:21:46,827 --> 00:21:49,657
- Oh.
Hey, it's a piece of cake.
463
00:21:49,743 --> 00:21:52,093
- The curse is broken.
464
00:21:52,180 --> 00:21:55,360
Next year, I'm going to go to
that unlicensed amusement park.
465
00:21:55,444 --> 00:21:58,584
- Hey, since Albert died,
can I have his little hat?
466
00:22:03,844 --> 00:22:06,674
- Hello, future Millicent,
or should I say,
467
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:10,370
"Congresswoman?"
Happy 27th birthday.
468
00:22:10,459 --> 00:22:13,029
I don't need to tell you
my goals as the next 20 years
469
00:22:13,114 --> 00:22:15,334
are already planned out
in our bullet journal.
470
00:22:15,421 --> 00:22:16,811
So I'd just like to thank you
471
00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:18,820
for turning into
an amazing woman
472
00:22:18,902 --> 00:22:22,522
despite all the odds
being against you.
473
00:22:22,602 --> 00:22:25,342
- [mumbling]
474
00:22:25,431 --> 00:22:27,261
- Have fun skydiving
from your hover car.
475
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:30,476
Love, Millicent.
476
00:22:56,505 --> 00:22:58,585
[footsteps tapping]
- Ooh.
477
00:22:58,635 --> 00:23:03,185
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
35253
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.