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Big stuff, eh, watching the world go by?

Right. Big stuff.

Of course, there's different ways of watching.

Take the guy that eats peanuts.

Every time he cracks a shell, he's gotta see that his thumb is in just the right spot.

Then he has to take the peanuts out.

Then he has to throw the shell away.

A guy like that can't concentrate.

- See what I mean? - Mm. Perfectly.

But popcorn?

Popcorn was made for watching the world go by.

Look.

I stick my hand in the bag without taking my eyes off the street.

I throw some popcorn in my craw.

I chew.

And I'm still looking.

That's what I call class.

Sure. Peanut-eaters don't know how to live.

"Lynn. 'Hmm?"

Tell me something.

Do you love me?

No.

That's the way to talk.

No worries, no jealousies.

Just meeting here every Thursday and eating our popcorn.

Why don't you love me?

Maybe I don't know what love is.

But I think I do.

- What do you think? - About love?

About love.

Well.

I think when it hits me I'll start walking three feet off the ground.

You can duplicate that with a shot of bourbon on an empty stomach.

And if the man has a mole on his nose, I won't be able to see it.

I can do that with bourbon too.

And I have a feeling that when I find him, he'll be flat broke.

Right.

And when you're married you won't be able to quit your job until you have to.

And there's plenty reasons why you'll have to.

That's the fun of being married.

Fun? You'll do your own cooking and washing.

- You'll lose your figure. - And I'll love it.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

That's never going to happen to you.

Why not?

Because something tells you that's the ideal existence.

And it is.

But the minute you're smart enough to realize that and start reaching for it,

you might as well give up because you'll never get it.

You newspaper men know everything.

Sure.

What you're trying to be is a Lizzie Glutz.

Lizzie Glutz?

Yeah, the girl that runs her own little world to suit herself

because she's too unimportant to have the world run her.

That sounds great to me.

Of course it does.

The smarter you are, the harder you try for that kind of life.

But Lizzie Glutz is Lizzie Glutz

simply because she's too darned dumb to be anything else.

And that's not you.

Pete, you're talking through your nose again.

There's a dame for you.

You try to tell her she's got it in her to be big stuff and what does she do?

She says let's go for a walk.

Only as far as the subway. I have to work tonight.

- Is that boat docking? - Yeah.

I have to get an interview with some visiting goof

about what he thinks of our beautiful buildings and tall women.

Someday, I'd like to go down and meet a boat with you.

Just to see what celebrities are like.

If people really knew, there wouldn't be any celebrities.

Look.

Get them on.

Just a grandpa at heart.

- Next Thursday. - Same bench.

- Same time. - So long, Lynn.

Lizzie Glutz to you.

Let 'em off, boys. Let 'em off, boys.

Watch your step.

Let 'em off, boys. Let 'em off, boys.

Watch your step. Watch your step.

Ouch!

Say, you're practically threatening the lady.

Shut up and turn around before somebody steps in your face.

Oh, let me out of here.

Oh, a wise guy, huh?

Come on, let's get inside.

A wise QUY-

Going around knocking people down.

How would you like a good sock in the kisser?

Now you let him alone.

I'm sorry you fell over, but the lady was in a little difficulty.

Oh, so I fell over, huh?

Maybe like you're going to fall over.

Oh, you...

A|| right, break it up.

Break it...

Get out before they arrest you.

Come on. Hurry up.

Don't look back, but is anybody following us?

I can't see without looking.

Here, let's duck into a store.

Oh, mister.

Whatever you do, never sock a Subway Guard.

Not even for you?

Well...

What is it, please?

- Ch... - Oh, we're just, uh...

We're just browsing around.

Browsing? What for, an artificial leg?

Huh?

Well.

It's been a lovely day.

- Yes. - Yes. Lovely.

- Yes. - Good day.

Good day.

- Good day. - Good day.

Well, this is it.

It can wait.

Uh-huh.

Oh, did I thank you for dinner?

Yes. Three times.

Am I going to see you again?

- Why not? - Of course. Why not.

Did anyone ever tell you you talk like an Englishman?

Well, I was born in England.

Oh, maybe that's why.

Yes. Maybe that's why.

Yes.

I don't know what I'm talking about.

- Do you? - No, but it's fun.

Well, I...

May I see you tomorrow?

- For what? - For more fun.

What's your name?

Gray. Charles Gray.

Tomorrow is Saturday. Don't you work in the morning?

No.

- Do you work Fridays? - Nope.

- Do you work any day? - No.

Don't you want to work?

Yes.

Why don't you go look for a job tomorrow?

Because tomorrow I want to be with you.

Will you go look for a job Monday?

If you'll let me see you Sunday, too.

Why should I care if you find a job?

Of course.

Why should you care?

Thanks for socking the guard.

Oh, no trouble. No trouble at all.

Yes?

Oh, my name is Marilyn.

Marilyn David.

I forgot to tell you.

Thanks, Marilyn.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

Hello.

Hello.

One o'clock tomorrow. Is that all right?

I was coming early in the morning to wait.

Why are you standing there?

To see if you'll open the door again.

Goodbye. Really.

Goodbye.

Hello.

Why wouldn't you leave and save me this embarrassment.?

What... what's that?

I've even forgotten where I live.

Here, hold this.

You like it?

- Ch, dear. - Well, how about it?

Second ride, ten cents. Keep your seats.

Second ride, ten cents.

Keep your seats. Ten cents, second ride.

- Let's do it again, huh? - Right you are.

- Here, hold these. - Ten cents, second ride.

Keep your seats. Ten cents, second ride.

Oh.

Wait. Hold these.

What are you doing?

Fifty-fifty. You paid for the first ride.

Twenty cents, please.

What is this fifty-fifty?

I can't keep letting you pay half.

Why not?

Twenty cents, somebody.

But why should you pay?

Because you have no job.

Twenty cents, anybody.

Ready?

Ready.

Go!

That's all there is to tell about me.

I haven't many friends.

Practically none, but I don't mind.

I don't like friends either.

It must be deeper than that with me.

My people must belong to me.

Be part of me like...

Like a pipe.

Did you ever have a pipe that...

I know. My dad used to have a pipe like that.

All caked up and burned black.

I was a little kid then, I knew he loved that pipe.

And it smelled so terrible.

So one day I washed it for him with soap and water.

Oh.

I would have liked your dad.

Even after that.

I know you would.

He was like you in a way.

Rather play than work.

Are you going to keep your promise about finding a job?

Why are you so interested in a job for me?

It's the right way to live, isn't it?

Instead of going along from day to day

just trusting that something will turn up to keep you going.

That's true, I suppose.

And we're going to see each other again, aren't we?

So often that you will become annoyed with me.

Do you think so?

Not really.

Do you want to hear a secret?

About you?

About both of us.

If I were ever to become annoyed with you,

it would have happened years ago.

That's when I first started thinking about you.

How you would look.

The way you'd have.

What you'd say when we were together.

Do I live up to the picture?

Perfectly, even to being without a job.

But that's the way I wanted you to be so that when I met you actually,

I could help you.

There is not much I can say after that.

If I simply told you I loved you, it would sound rather flat.

Wouldn't it?

I don't think so.

Shall I try it?

Just to see how it sounds.

Will you mean it?

How could I help but mean it?

You try.

I love you.

Ooh! OW!

Papa!

- The man grabbed me. - Sonny, I didn't...

- You did too! - He didn't...

Papa, the man grabbed me.

Oh, the wise guy.

I think we'd better go now.

What shall we do tonight?

Well, let's see.

What would you like to do?

What would you?

Let's have dinner.

All right.

Same place as last night?

I love it.

- And after dinner? - Yes?

Some place where there aren't people.

- Some place where we... - I know that place.

Oh, the swellest spot in town.

Good.

Well, what do you think?

It's perfect.

You are supposed to sit on the bench,

right here,

and eat popcorn and watch the world go by.

Hey, Eddie, when we get aboard, grab those pictures in a hurry.

No fancy set-ups, I'll yell and you snap them... with their mouths open.

Gee, I can't never get ahead that way.

I got a reputation to look out for.

Ah, forget your reputation.

The only picture your family will ever save is the one of your tombstone.

Yeah, well, who we got?

No big stuff.

One ambassador, a couple of millionaires,

the president of a pickle company, and three actresses.

We'll knock 'em off in no time.

Three actresses, you say?

Yeah.

Oh, Pete.

What?

Pete, look.

Three actresses.

Three of 'em.

Now I ain't asking much, but just give me time enough

to get a nice pose out of one actress.

Just one.

What kind of a pose?

Well, something, uh, something with what you might call a lilt to it,

you know, sitting on the railing.

- Legs crossed? - Yeah, legs crossed.

- Something new? - Yeah, something new.

Mm-hm.

Now listen, genius, I got my regular Thursday night date tonight

and I'm waiting for you to snap no actresses with no legs crossed.

Say, what's more important?

Your date or my job?

What do you think?

There is no comparison.

You know something?

There's no reason why we shouldn't force the city to put a water bottle beside this bench.

A guy can't eat popcorn all night without drinking something.

I said a man can't eat popcorn all night without drinking something.

Oh.

Hey.

Look at me.

Pete, I want you to shake hands with Lizzie Glutz.

Lizzie Glutz?

Yeah. Lizzie Glutz.

The girl we were talking about.

The girl you said I wasn't, remember?

Who is going to meet some man who'd sweep her off the ground.

And he'd be broke and neither of them would care.

And all of a sudden they would be living in their own little world.

Oh.

- So it happened, eh? - Yep.

Just like I said it would.

You see, you were wrong.

Who is he?

Just a nobody.

You'd like him.

Would I?

Oh Pete, it's the swellest feeling.

All at once, you're face to face.

You don't know how it happened, but there you are.

And from then on, it's just one roller-coaster ride after another.

Wait until it happens to you.

Do you think it will?

Why sure. It's bound to.

Then what'|| I do?

Well...

I know what I'll do.

Just sit on a bench and eat my popcorn and watch the world go by.

And then all at once there won't be any more popcorn.

A man can't watch the world go by without popcorn, can he?

Can he?

I'll bet he's a darn nice guy.

Yeah.

He is a darn nice guy.

Ah, I was nuts about this bench.

- Weren't you? - I still am.

I'll put a "For Rent" sign out tomorrow.

Oh, Pete, you're still the best friend I've got.

What I do with him won't make any difference with us.

- No? - No.

No, you don't understand about him.

I want you to meet him right away.

There is no reason why the three of us can't get on.

You don't know your guys.

Look, Pete, I don't want to lose you.

I won't.

I'm just "old reliable," that's the way I stack up with you.

All right, forget about the "For Rent" sign.

If you're ever in a spot or if you feel like you want

to talk it over with somebody on a Thursday night,

you know where to find me.

I'll be here.

But don't come unless you have to.

Because things can never be the same anymore. Never.

You understand that, don't you?

Hiya, chief.

You want to see me?

Well, it's old Pete Dawes, the demon reporter.

Say, why don't you wake up and notice what's going on

- in front of those St. Bernard eyes? - What are you talking about?

Would it interest you at all to know on this beautiful sunshiny morning

that the Duke of Loamshire and his son arrived six weeks ago.

And they've been playing round town ever since without a line of print about it.

Well, how'd they get in?

Phony names.

But where have you been?

We ran pictures of the kid when he got engaged to that English girl.

Helen Fergus.

And while you're walking around in a trance,

we've got to pay a smart little ticket clerk five bucks for the tip.

Okay. Where are they?

I don't know.

But they have sailing reservations for tomorrow at noon.

Noon?

Here, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Here, take along this picture and these clips,

so at least you'll know 'em from Adam.

You got a picture there of the old man, the Duke of Loamshire.

And his son, Charles Gray Granton.

Lord Granton to you.

And keep your mouth shut about this.

We're the only sheet in town that's got anything on it.

Fair enough.

Oh, and, look, while you're passing out five bucks for news tips,

- I'll sell you a hot one. - Yeah? What's that?

You could get lots better stuff out of me if you upped my salary.

Huh?

You can send the five bucks around to the house.

Get out of here.

- Dad, I'm sincere about this. - Of course you are.

You're always sincere about everything.

For the moment.

If this is your way of objecting to Marilyn, I...

I don't object to her.

If you are set on marrying Marilyn, I'll accept her.

And so will your mother.

But there are various ways of dealing with a delicate situation.

You are diving into this all wrong.

Lies and cables.

It's all so crude.

What should I do?

First, remember the family name.

We're proud of it.

We've never had any scandal or cheap notoriety attached to it.

- But I have no intention of... - All right.

Go back to England, tell your mother about it as a son should.

See Helen.

Give her the chance of breaking off the engagement decently.

And then, with your house in order,

you can come back here and ask Marilyn to marry you.

You'll have the right to ask her after that.

I wonder what Marilyn would say if I told her the truth.

Gray.

I called your office, but... but you'd left and I thought this was the only way...

What's the matter?

I have a chance for a job.

Oh, gee, that's great.

What kind of a job?

Come on, tell me.

Well, there is a factory in the south.

Virginia.

They want to open a New York sales office.

That's all you need, Gray.

Just a chance to show them what you can do.

I know, but...

If I take it, I will have to leave town for a couple of weeks.

- Oh... - You know.

Go down to the factory and study the product.

You see, it isn't an ordinary job.

There is a chance for real advancement.

Oh, of course.

Just the thought of you being gone so long.

Do you really feel that way about it?

Can't you tell?

I'll miss you even more.

You couldn't.

Come on, Eddie.

But wait a minute, I got something good here,

- wait a minute. - Oh, come on.

Hey.

Say, what's the idea visiting our little city without letting the papers in on it?

- Papers? - Yes, don't you suppose.

New York would like to know that it's been visited

by the Duke of Loamshire and his son?

All right, Eddie.

My good man, you must be mistaken.

Oh no, I haven't missed picking a celebrity in six years.

Now, come on, how about a little statement

as to why you were here and what you were doing?

Look.

Couldn't you be a good sport and sort of forget that you saw us?

We would appreciate it tremendously.

Oh.

Is it that important to you?

Just a moment.

Let's get over there.

You know, there are times when a man wants...

We can assure you there's no significance to the visit.

None at all.

We simply came here to enjoy ourselves quietly.

- That is so. - And a report of the trip in the papers

might cause personal embarrassment.

To your fiancee for instance, Miss Helen Fergus?

Well, yes. Yes, that's right.

You are still engaged, aren't you?

Yes, of course.

- Well, now how old... - Look here, young man.

We shall be glad enough to make it worth your while.

Seventy, ninety, a hundred.

All right, as far as I'm concerned, I've never seen you.

- You promise that? - Sure.

Let's go, Eddie.

- Pete. - What?

- Well, say, Purser. - Yes, sir?

- You see those two fellows over there? - Yes, sir.

- Take good care of them. - Yes, sir.

Say, what do you mean?

Promising those guys you didn't see 'em.

What of it? You saw 'em, didn't you?

Oh.

Well, let me out!

- Pete. - Hello.

This picture. Did you do it?

Why, sure. Why?

Did you see these people?

Did you talk to them?

Of course. Why all the excitement?

Why?

Because this Lord Granton,

this man engaged to a girl in England,

that's Charles Gray.

- Charles Gray? - Yeah. Charles Gray.

The nobody I was telling you about.

Charles Gray Granton.

So that's it.

That's why I got the run around.

He told me he was going out of town for a couple of weeks.

To get a job.

What did he say?

What did he talk about?

Well, he just...

Go on. I'm asking for it.

He said he'd just been fooling around in America on the quiet.

That he was going back and marry that English dame.

His father offered me a hundred bucks to keep the whole thing quiet.

That's swell, isn't it?

I did all right by myself, didn't I?

Ah, you dames can pick yourselves more wrong guys.

Oh, come on. Let's go for a walk.

He was broke.

A nobody.

He loved me.

What did he think I was?

A cheap pretender like himself?

Oh, will you quit getting worked up about it.

If that guy ever comes back here, I'll break his... neck.

He won't come back.

All right, what are you going to do about it?

What can you do?

I'd like to do to him what he's done to me.

Spoil his happiness.

Make him something to laugh at.

Why not?

Nah.

No, when you're the sap, you're the sap.

And anything you do makes you even more of a sap.

There's a story for your paper.

"Lord Granton walks out on poor working girl."

Can't you see the headlines?

Yeah.

I can see the headlines.

Yes, I want to talk to Mr. Dawes.

This is Miss David calling.

Marilyn David.

Hello, Pete?

He is too in!

You tell that gorilla if he doesn't talk to me, I'll...

Hello?

Hello?

Ooh!

Ouch.

Oh!

Well, our reports are brief, of course, but the girl claims that you...

Well, that you forced your attentions upon her.

That she refused your proposal of marriage.

And that finally she forced you to return to England.

Did she say that?

Obviously.

May I?

These statements followed one newspaper story

that you had been visiting in America secretly.

I hadn't intended disturbing your trip.

But then we received a report from England

that a Miss Fergus had broken her engagement to you

after these reports had appeared at home.

And now the newspapers from both sides

are demanding to know if you are actually aboard.

I hope you will pardon me, but I felt that you ought to be prepared.

- Thank you, Captain. - But if I can help in any way,

such as preventing the newspaper people from embarrassing Lord Charles when we dock...

That will be quite all right.

Well, there's Marilyn.

Yes, there is Marilyn.

I can't understand it.

What's her idea? What is she after?

A girl of her type?

Well, you'll hear from her later.

Asking for money to stop further publicity.

What a gal.

I must admit she had me fooled completely.

That's over, but if there are going to be reporters

waiting for you on the dock at Southampton asking for statements...

I'll give them a statement.

No, you won't.

Dad, if I'd only known that I was going to drag my family

into a cheap scandal like this...

Well, we can stand that,

but we've got to be sure that nothing is done to encourage it.

And if we can only stop her without resorting to the law courts...

That shouldn't be difficult now that I know her language.

The company for the current fiscal year show a 33 percent decrease

from the previous 12-month period.

This should not by any means be construed as an actual loss in business.

It must be remembered that...

Well, young man? Well, well, well, well.

It must be remembered that the margin of profits on our goods

has been cut by the rising cost of raw materials.

Therefore...

Are you listening, Miss David?

Pardon me.

Now what?

Nothing.

Nothing important.

Look.

Just because you have your name in all the papers,

there's no reason why I shouldn't get a little work done around here.

Will you please listen to me?

Excuse me, Mr. Hankerson.

Let's see. Where were we?

Oh.

By the rising costs of raw materials, therefore...

Could you by any chance be too good for this job?

You know, I'm still paying your salary and I want a little attention around here,

my dear Duchess.

By the rising costs of raw materials, therefore...

Therefore, my neck!

- I quit. - But... but Miss David?

Right in the middle of a paragraph.

Go ahead. Shoot.

Oh.

Give me some popcorn.

Say, I'm sorry about not getting here last Thursday.

I... work.

Uh-huh.

All right. Why?

- Why what? - You know what.

Why did you print those fake stories?

Ch, that, I...

Go ahead.

Okay.

I did it because I love you.

And that guy Gray hurt you.

Nobody is going to hurt you while I'm around and get away with it.

That's what I thought.

You old windmill.

Well, at least nobody will ever walk out on you again.

You're somebody now.

Yeah, "you're somebody" is right.

Everybody pointing at me on the subway.

On the street.

Photographers trying to break in my house.

Sure, you're a celebrity.

One of those peculiar people made strangely important

by ordinary newspaper print.

Strangely important?

A busted romance.

- No job. - No job?

No job!

And this.

There's a sweet boyfriend for you.

Yep. Sweet.

And to the point.

Well, if he wants to be forgotten,

here's the one who can do it.

That's the stuff.

Pete, you're a smart fella.

What do poor little working girls usually do next?

Well, they usually drown themselves one way or the other.

I'll take the other.

Come on, get them on.

No, never mind the menu.

Here's the idea. I want a glass, see.

Yes.

- About this high. - Yes.

- Maybe higher. - Mm-hm.

I don't care what you put in it.

Scotch, hair tonic, rat poison.

But when it's all gone, I want to be lying in a neat little heap.

Right there.

Yeah.

Make it two.

Yeah.

Well, there is one thing about Gray.

He gave me the swellest moments I've ever had in my life.

How much would it cost for a poor little working girl to forget?

All right, I'm quiet.

If you ever pull another crack about that guy...

Hello, Pete.

Where have you been?

I figure seeing you when we had that murder here last month.

I'm handling ship news now, Nate.

By-line and everything.

- Don't you read it? - No.

Oh, I want you to meet Marilyn David.

Lynn, this is Nate Porcopolis, the smartest cafe man in the business.

Marilyn David, yes?

Yeah, I've read about her.

Kicking that Lord or Whatchamacallit back in England.

Say, you wrote it, no?

Yes, he wrote it.

Lady, you got the right idea.

Kick them foreigners back where they belong.

How's business?

Ah, this is it.

We have too many nightclubs around.

If we haven't got something to drag them in,

well, we starve.

Have something, Nate?

Four in one.

SaY-

Who is this lady's manager?

- Manager? - Yeah.

I was thinking.

With all her publicity, people talking about her.

You know, last year I booked that Krabaski dame

that chopped her husband with an ax.

Swell business for a while.

She sang a sad song about her mother.

Now, if your girlfriend is looking for some fellow

that could show her the ropes, you know, cash in,

I wouldn't mind maybe...

What are you talking about?

I'm her manager.

What do you know about managing?

Whose widow did you ever book that chopped her husband with an ax?

I know enough to realize that I've got the greatest attraction in the business.

Nate.

Right now, this minute, all I'd have to do

is go up in the street and yell that Lynn David's inside

and this place would be jammed to the walls.

Ah, that's not so easy.

Now, when I booked that Krabaski dame...

Come on, will you forget about that meat-chopper?

I'm talking about a class attraction.

A girl who would draw the best people in town.

Even to this joint.

You think so?

You know what I'd do if I was running this place?

I'd sign her right now.

Get a bigger band, doll the place up,

and get ready for the biggest business in town.

Hey, that costs money.

Oh, not half as much as you think.

I'll handle the publicity and show you how to really go to town on a story.

And not only that, we're not even asking for a salary.

All you do is turn over a percentage of the profits.

Now, is there anything wrong with that?

Well, no.

She might clean up at that.

Oh, it's a cinch.

Look, here's what we'll do.

Say, haven't I anything to do with all this?

You don't object to making more money than you ever saw before in your life, do you?

No.

Why, I just thought you might ask me what I thought about it.

You could do a nice little act.

Something simple like.

Yeah.

Like Mrs. Krabaski maybe?

Yeah.

Somebody is wrong.

What can you lose?

Pete, you're crazy.

I've got no more business in a nightclub than...

Than your grandmother.

They'll throw eggs at me.

Maybe tomatoes.

I can't... ooh.

Oh.

Oh, but who cares.

At least we're living.

No.

And that's all that matters.

At least we're living.

That's the stuff, Lynn. Nate, you're set.

For the first time in your life you're really in the money.

I'm going the limit on this.

Publicity that's worth twenty times as much as advertising.

And it won't cost you a cent.

That's what I like, something that won't cost me a cent.

Boy, what an attraction.

Do you think so, huh?

- You can't miss. - That's what I like.

Something that cannot miss.

- She's all ours. - All ours.

Bills.

Bills, and you told me it wouldn't cost a cent.

But, Nate, think of it, a sign that goes on and off

- one line at a time. - Yeah.

On and off one line at a time.

300 bucks a day.

What's the matter?

"What's the matter," can't ya hear?

- I'll never be any good. - Pete said you don't have to be good.

Oh, he did, did he?

Sing!

- Well, Nate, how do you like it? - How do I like it?

Look, Lord Radbury, Lady Rolleston...

Who's this prince with a bunch of Zs on his name, eh?

Here's this guy Bishop, he is worth about 8 million bucks.

- Sure. - Look, we even got a sultan in here.

How did we get so many big shots at the opening, eh?

They had to come after they read the papers.

But all these foreigners with the fancy names.

Listen, I didn't miss one bolt as Dr. New York during the past month.

What did you think I was talking about while I was supposed to be

- interviewing these mugs? - I suppose I'll get a bill for that next, eh?

- No, just an expense sheet. - I'd rather have a bill.

- Who is it? - It's me.

Oh, go jump in the lake.

Lynn, you should see the people, it's packed.

The classiest mob that ever poked his head inside of a nightclub.

Oh, I told you we'd do it.

And they're waiting to see you.

Waiting to see me?

One schooner of highballs and I wake up with my name on the billboard.

Oh, Pete, can't you see how silly it is?

Now, let's pretend we're sane and call the whole thing off.

No, why do that?

Why? Look at me.

I'm supposed to go out there and try to sing.

Try to dance.

And in this outfit, I can't even walk.

Gosh, does it really make you walk like that?

Yes.

Oh, you'll come out all right, just sing your number and do your dance.

All they want is a chance to look you over.

Yeah, I'd like to see you go out there in this

and let 'em look you over.

I feel like... like a fancy porch swing.

Lynn.

- Lynn. - What?

Oh.

Ohh.

Oh, now, Pete, you shouldn't have.

Oh, that's all right, there's lots of other stuff.

Huh?

- Where'd you get those? - The whole layout cost me 87 bucks and a half.

From five feet away, nobody can tell the difference.

Now, we don't know where this stuff came from.

There have been rumors, of course, that this trinket was given to you

by the Prince of Some place-or-other.

And this little token of esteem from the Duke of Whatchamacallit.

- Uh-huh. - And this from some king

of some little country or other... I'll work out a good gag on that.

- Oh, naturally. - Of course, we pay no attention to the rumors.

We just wear our jewelry and let people talk.

Mm-hm.

Pete, isn't there something missing?

- Missing? - Yeah.

Where's that little gadget I got from Napoleon?

Wouldn't be a bad idea at that.

Wonder what's happened to Lizzie Glutz.

- Miss David? - Oh, is that me?

- That's you. - Oh!

- Miss David, we're waiting. - She's coming.

- Oh, no! - Oh, come on now, buck up,

you know, just to show me that everything's all right.

Great.

And now what?

Oh.

Pete, someday I'm gonna knock you down and walk all over that funny face of yours.

Good, say, uh,

Lynn, that first little bracelet I gave you, it's personal from me.

It's on the level.

- No kidding? - No kidding.

- Now go out there and murder 'em. - Murder them?

Do you realize you're talking to the corpse?

Go on, go on, go on, go on.

Introduction.

Sing.

Introduction.

Hey, wait a minute.

I'm gonna let you in on something, because I have to.

I'm so scared I can't even remember the first words of the song.

As long as I've told you that, I might as well tell you the rest.

I'm supposed to sing and dance.

I've had three dancing lessons,

and my legs are so stiff I can hardly walk.

My singing's a little better, because I've had four lessons with it,

but it still sounds like four lessons.

I know why you're here,

and you know why I'm here.

I'm just a freak,

and as an entertainer, I'll probably be the worst flop

that ever hit New York.

But, good or bad, I'm going to try again.

If I can ever get started.

Is that fair enough?

Nate, you built a smart routine for that girl, plenty smart.

Yeah, yeah.

That's the stuff.

Oscar, what's the first line of the song?

"My heart sings a serenade."

Oh, yeah, thanks, Oscar.

All right, play.

My heart sings a serenade.

One that...

Oh, it's gone again.

Lifts up in him desire

Oscar, the...

The romance

I forget what comes next,

but it's about music and talking,

and then we kiss in bliss.

I'll have a drink.

I adore you.

And when you hear my creation.

You know, some more singing.

Elation.

That has to be right, it rhymes.

Think this is a cinch.

Just get up and try it sometime

I forget, I've never forgotten so many words in my life,

but I... I know the finish, I think.

It's, urn... Something about romance.

I told you.

Dance, dance.

All right, if you can stand for that, here comes the dance.

All right, play, Oscar.

It's one that you inspire.

Echoing my desires.

A rhapsody of romance.

It's in the music too.

All of the things I say to you.

When we kiss.

My heart madly sinks with bliss

I adore you.

It's not so bad, is it?

And when you hear my creation.

Your heart joins in with all of me.

Oh, mister, you saved my life.

I might've broken my neck.

- Get off his lap. - Please, Daisy.

Oh, this is all in fun.

- I just happened to... - I said get off his lap.

Oh, look, if this is too much for you, why stay?

Why don't you try and put me out?

I'm not here for that, but, uh, there are... waiter.

Pulling your cheap tricks on me.

It's all right, I think you're great.

- Oscar, where were we? - I don't know.

Start anywhere, you can't hurt the dance.

No, I better not do that.

Hello, City Desk? This is Pete Dawes.

I've got a pip for ya, listen.

Well, there ya are, I sure gummed that up.

You think so? They're crazy about you.

- We're set, and we're in the papers again. - Papers?

- What did I do now? - What did you do?

You just gave the air to the girlfriend of Otto Bushe,

the best known playboy in New York.

- Oh, no. - Watch the papers grab it.

Two front-page names in one story.

Pete,

could you, by any chance, be living my life for me?

Ohh.

What next, I wonder.

That girl can do more startling things.

You should be startled personally sometime.

I wouldn't mind in the least.

Tell me, is she really as gorgeous as all this?

- Well, you have no intention of, uh... - Oh, no intention, just, uh...

Yes, she's something to think about, all right.

Of course, I didn't see her in quite that way.

- That was your mistake. - Right.

What would you do if you were ever to run across her again?

Just what half the men in America are trying to do, and like it.

Why not?

You wouldn't mind introducing a pal, would you?

Hello.

"II — - Hey," What?

Do you realize I've hardly seen you in weeks?

Why don't you stick around once in a while,

just to see if I'm getting older or something?

I suppose you think I...

Oh, sit down, you'll wear a path in the rug.

I know it was my idea to have you step out once in a while,

- but I didn't mean that you... - It was your idea, all right.

I must be seen in the right places with the right people, correct?

But, look, I didn't mean all the time.

Fella gets kinda lonesome sitting around talking to himself.

- What are you doing after the show tonight? - A date.

The old guy with the 43 creameries.

I suppose you've forgotten that you introduced me to him.

Oh, call it off, you know, tell him you're sick,

you had your throat cut or something.

- Why? - Well...

All right, just you and I tonight.

- Nothing fancy now, just, uh... - Marie.

- Oui, mademoiselle? - Phone Mr. Decker

and tell him I'm staying home tonight with a headache.

Yes, mademoiselle.

We'll leave these here where you won't forget them.

Where's the butter and salt?

Right on the floor beside you where you put them.

I'm kinda absentminded.

- Lynn. - Mm-hm?

I was just thinking...

Oh, why don't you tear that thing out by the root?

No, it might be one of those people,

you know, "the right people."

Here, hold this, I'll take care of that call.

Hello? Who's calling?

Mr. Randall?

She's not in.

What?

This is her father.

Papa's getting burned up, huh?

The way those mugs talk, you'd think they owned ya.

How do you think I feel about it?

Think I asked for this?

No time for myself, working most of the night,

reporters hounding me all the time.

People expect me to do something crazy every time I step outside.

Yeah, what happened to your thought of having me pushed over Niagara Falls

in a kiddie car?

Can't we call the whole thing off?

It was my idea, and I'm admitting it's wrong.

Ohh.

We could go away some place, to the mountains maybe,

where you could get some rest,

and then, well...

Oh, Lynn, I know I'm just a mug with no class,

not even a crease in my pants, but...

You know what I'm trying to say.

Well, how do you feel about it?

Pete, something happened to me,

and I'm not going to be satisfied until I find out why.

Are you gonna let that guy bother you all the rest of your life?

I can tell you this because I know you'll understand.

I feel...

I feel like... like a kid must feel when somebody he loves

slaps him in the face.

He's hurt, he's angry,

but he still loves.

I thought for a while that this crazy existence we've been thrown into

might knock that romantic school-kid heart out of me,

but it hasn't.

Same old Lynn.

Pete, I've got to see him.

Sure you do.

I wonder what would happen if I took one of those London nightclub offers.

Then, if he really wanted to see me...

You do that and you'll be camping on the doorstep.

Say, how many times do I have to tell you that you've developed into a mighty swell dish?

- I'm going to London. - And what's gonna happen?

You'll see Gray, find out in ten minutes that he's still a lug,

and come tearing back home.

Well, at least I'd know.

Right, I'm just blabbing.

Sure, you go ahead, and I'll stay here and sorta keep things rolling.

- Well, you're coming along! - Me?

Yes, you.

What do you expect to do while I'm barging around a strange country?

Stay here and write fan letters?

- Oh, Lynn. - Oh, nothing.

Why the devil anyone should wanna go all the way to that doggone place,

I don't know.

Yes, gentlemen, Miss David looks forward with high anticipation

- to her work in London. - Very good.

Of course, there may be considerable difficulty

in arranging our daily routine.

Do you have honey here?

- Honey? - Yes, that stuff from bees.

- Oh, naturally. - Oh, that's fine,

because Miss David must have her honey bath every morning.

- Do you mean she actually bathes in it? - Why not?

- It's the best skin tonic in the world. - All right, sir.

Telegram for Miss David.

Miss David has quite a system to keep her in trim

- for appearances at the club intimate. - Yes?

An exercise known all over America as the Lynn David method...

- Pardon me, sir, but may I ask a question? - Why, certainly.

Has Miss David any intention of seeing Lord Granton?

Well, I, uh... as a matter of fact...

Pete.

You gentlemen have been very nice and we appreciate it.

Anytime you're around our hotel, just drop up and make yourselves at home.

- But, my question, sir. - There's always something on tap,

a shot of scotch, a swig of sherry, after all,

the place has always been our greatest friend.

- Good day, gentlemen. - Good...

I didn't know what to say for a minute.

Out of a clear sky they...

Well, that's great.

- Swell. - I was afraid for a while.

Ah, I knew he'd pop up.

Oh, wise guy.

I merely mumble.

Something about romance.

Well, here it goes.

- Hello. - Hello.

Marilyn.

There are so many things we might explain to each other

about why we did what we did,

but it'd be so much easier to pretend it never happened.

Wouldn't it?

No.

There's one thing I have to know.

Gray, when you left me, did you have any intention

of ever coming back?

Why, yes.

I believe you, and that's why I want to explain what I did.

I don't want explanations, honestly.

You're here,

I'm here.

- Hello there. - Hello.

- How do you do? - How are you?

Let's get away from this mob.

- How are you? - How do you do?

I'll change a little later, Marie, you can go now.

Merci, madam.

- Thanks for the lovely flowers. - My pleasure.

- Bonsoir, mademoiselle. - Goodnight.

You're prettier than ever, aren't you?

I couldn't say.

- Do you mind if I say it? - No.

Are you glad I said it?

- Yes. - Then, maybe you wouldn't mind if I said

I loved you as much as ever, more than ever,

because that's the way I feel.

A man can't help the way he feels.

How about a woman?

Same with a woman, I guess.

Miss David wants to see you, sir, in her dressing room.

Thanks.

Come in.

How are you?

Oh.

How do you do?

Marilyn.

Coming.

Oh, Pete.

This is Charles Granton.

"Gray" for short.

Gray, this is Peter Dawes.

- Pete. - Mr. Dawes, we've met.

Oh, that's right, yes, you have met.

Yes, indeed.

Pete, uh, Mr. Granton and I are going out for a while.

- You don't mind? - Why, no, why should I?

I just wanted to let you know.

- Well, see you tomorrow. - Mm-hm.

Pete's my best friend.

Have a good time.

You lug.

Oh, Pete.

Where are you going?

I didn't want to awaken you.

I was going to leave word downstairs I'd be back tonight.

Some place with Gray?

Yeah, just a little trip into the country for a rest.

You know, this is Sunday, and I don't have to work tonight.

Sure, can I talk to you a minute?

Why, yes, of course.

I'm sailing today.

Sailing?

Why?

Well, I can't express it exactly.

But you've been going right along so swell,

and I seem to be in the way more and more.

- That's not true. - Oh, it is true.

Can't you see that you've reached a point where,

where I can't help you anymore,

where the best thing for both of us is for me to bow out in a hurry.

I couldn't stay here without you.

What about Gray?

Don't you intend to keep on seeing him?

- Yes, but... - All right.

You know what's gonna happen, I know.

He seems to be a nice guy and he's crazy about you,

and all of a sudden you'll be married to him.

That's what's in your heart, isn't it?

- Honestly? - Mm-hm.

Well, that's all great with me.

I'm glad to see you get what you wanted.

And now that my job's finished, I'm going home.

Pete.

- Have I hurt you? - No.

I'm the one that should be asking that.

You'll never be sore, will you, Lynn, about the crazy way I shoved you into this racket?

- Oh, of course not. - You know now

that it made certain things possible,

things that couldn't have happened any other way?

Yeah, I guess it did.

Okay, just tell them at the club that I got a cable from New York

with some bad news, anything.

Wait, you've definitely decided to go back?

I can't stop you?

I'll call up Gray and tell him I'm going down to the boat with you.

Oh, no, no, please, I'd just rather say goodbye to you here.

- You know how it is. - Oh, but you're leaving so suddenly.

And look, if things don't go so well with you...

Oh, but they will, I know they will.

Goodbye, Lynn.

Pete.

So long.

What's the matter?

You've been so quiet all morning.

I know.

- I'm all right now. - Good.

There you are, sir.

As nice a lunch as ever you wanted, sir.

Thank you, we've been hungry.

Eat while you're young, that's what I always say.

That's what I always say, too.

You're a lady after my own heart, Miss. Four and six pence, sir.

Pardon, sir, but have you followed the high road yet?

Oh, I don't know, we're...

We're just driving wherever we feel like driving.

- Right? - Right.

I know, sir, I used to be that way myself once, sir.

That's why you should follow the high road.

You drive a bit till you come to the spot where the stream meets the road.

- Are you interested, sir? - Oh, yes, go on, go on.

Well, when you come to the spot where the stream meets the road,

you stop your car.

See the idea, sir?

And you leave your car and cross the little bridge.

- A little bridge? - Yes, sir.

There you are, right on a little island

with a place to sit beneath the tree.

Thirty years ago it was, sir.

Thirty years ago what was?

Thirty years ago that my wife said she'd marry me

right underneath that tree.

Hugo!

Yes, my love?

Stop your annoying, and take up that mop where you dropped it!

Yes, my love.

Thirty years ago it was.

Right under that tree.

Perhaps you'd better take the low road, sir.

He'll take the high road and like it.

- High road it is. - Yes, sir, you'll...

- ' Hugo! - Uh' yes' my love';

Your lunch, sir.

- And all of a sudden... - Cross the little bridge.

Thirty years ago right here.

It must've been funny in a way.

I'd have loved to have seen them.

- Hugo and Lizzie Glutz. - Glutz?

- Who told you that was her name? - Oh, it had to be.

I bet she sat right here where I'm sitting,

and Hugo stood up because he had on his Sunday trousers.

Maybe Hugo stood up.

Hugo's that sort of a duck.

Probably they didn't talk for about 10 minutes,

because they'd seen each other the Sunday before

and nothing had happened to either of them since then.

All at once, Hugo pulled at his collar,

and he said, "Lizzie,

all I know is that you're gorgeous."

Of course, Lizzie knew what Hugo was going to say next.

But she wanted to hear him say it.

Marilyn, do you realize what's happened to you?

You're known all over the world.

Men everywhere have talked about you, wanted you,

even though they knew that you were way beyond their reach,

and now those people, the same persons

who laughed at me when they thought I'd lost you,

they're going to see that you belong to me,

that you always did belong to me.

- This ain't private, is it? - No, don't let me bother you.

"'No' Girl May Say 'Yes."'

Boy, there's a girl come up from nowhere.

I wonder how much dough that Englishman's got.

- She doesn't care. - No?

- How do you figure? - Oh, it's just my guess.

Maybe so, but a couple of million bucks comes in handy on a cold winter.

Two million bucks or two cents, it doesn't make any difference to that girl.

She's got an idea in the back of her head about what the perfect life should be,

she's not gonna stop hunting till she finds it.

And I suppose you got this all straight from her?

You're darn right, and she was sitting right where you are now.

- Here? - Yeah.

- With you? - Yeah.

Well, I think I'll be going.

Popcorn all the way from America.

Mr. Pete must've been drunk.

He knows what he's doing.

You old windmill.

Something wrong, mademoiselle?

No.

I'll answer it.

- Right on the hour. - Mm-hm.

Is that the reception I get?

I'm tired.

Oh.

You haven't anything arranged for this afternoon, have you?

Oh, nothing much, just tea at the Clydes'.

- Oh. - Oh, they've been hounding me for weeks.

Absolutely dying to get a first-hand view of the notorious Marilyn David.

We're not going to the Clydes'.

- Oh, why not? - We're not going, that's all.

That's too bad my friends annoy you.

Gray, we'll have to decide something right now.

I came to England because I loved you,

and because I thought you still loved me.

But something's wrong.

Something has changed.

Have you ever really forgiven me for what happened in America?

Oh, I told you I was as much to blame as you.

Well then, what is it? Why can't we be satisfied with each other?

Why do you insist on spending day and night

putting ourselves on display?

Is that the only thrill you get out of being with me?

Oh, I've been selfish I suppose, but...

Why don't you get away from the nightclub for a while?

It could be arranged, couldn't it?

- Yes. - We could go into the country,

some little inn where we could be alone

for about a week.

- "For about a week"? - Yes.

"Some little inn"?

Why, yes, that wouldn't bother you, would it?

And then what?

- Well, uh... - Back to London,

as though we'd never been away, is that it?

Marilyn, what on Earth do you gain

by constantly adopting this attitude of an offended schoolgirl?

Here you are, promoted and managed by an out-and-out blackmailer.

- — Gray! - Traveling from America to England with him,

yet when I suggest that we spend the week at an inn,

you'd think that...

Shall I answer it?

Yes. Who?

Photographers from the American syndicates.

- Photograph... - You don't want to see them, do you?

- Send them right in. - Well, we don't wanna see them here.

I'll handle this, you just entertain them until I'm ready.

- Well, this isn't exactly the place... - What's wrong?

You want to show the world.

Marilyn.

Marilyn!

So, what's the meaning of all these pictures?

Well, we have to be prepared in case of a surprise wedding.

- Wedding? - Why, sure,

and then our papers will have honeymoon pictures.

Well, haven't I anything to say about this?

Sure you have.

You can make your statement after I make mine.

Come on, boys, bring your cameras in here.

Marilyn, what are you doing?

Ah, you've been playing around with a celebrity, huh?

And all the time I've been Lizzie Glutz enough to think you were on the level.

Come on, boys, get some of this.

Now, I'll show you how this celebrity racket is really worked,

- the way Pete taught me. - Hold it!

That's a pip, no matter what you do, surprise me.

Oh, Marilyn, don't, please, I'll admit it, I was wrong!

Hey, thanks.

It's all right, so you agree finally?

Don't bother because you're right again.

- Ch, but... - The whole thing's off.

I'm walking out.

Don't pack them, dump them.

Marie, get all that stuff down to the boat and I'll meet you later.

- Marilyn, please! - Here, grab this.

- Good. - Where's the phone?

Right there, and tell your papers I'm going home to sit on a bench

and eat popcorn.

Maybe he'll show up and maybe he won't, but if he does,

I'm gonna sit back and watch the world go by

with the greatest mug on Earth.

Hey!

- Hey, you're practically going backwards. - What do you want me to do?

Smash my cab for a buck and a quarter?

Oh, don't let a little snow make a monkey out of ya.

The boat'|| be halfway back to England before we show up.

- Yes? - Reporters, Miss David.

Pete?

Marilyn, it's Eddie.

- Marilyn... - Where's Pete?

Oh, I don't know, he didn't come out with us.

Marilyn, look, we got time for a couple of swell pictures.

I even brought along my portrait lens.

Marilyn, look, a portrait lens.

Will you forget the Cook's tour?

I wanna go to Pier 27.

Say, listen you, if you don't like the way I'm driving, just...

- Hey, stop! - What's the matter?

Stop!

Popcorn, make it a large one with lots of butter.

Ten cents, please.

Hey, ten cents, please!

Hey, let me have a dime for this popcorn, will ya?

- I left my money in my other suit. - Oh, in your other suit, huh?

- Yeah. - And what was you gonna use for cab fare?

Well, uh... now, wait a minute, I can fix this.

- All you gotta do is... - Ten cents, please!

- He's gonna pay. - In your other suit, huh?

- I want ten cents! - You're gonna get your money.

Your other suit, huh?

- I want my ten cents! - Wait a minute.

In your other suit, huh?

Miss David?

Ship News, is Peter Dawes there?

Pete?

No, ma'am, he never works on Thursday night.

Thursday night.

Marilyn.

Marilyn, what in the world... Marilyn!

- Miss David! - Right, I'll tell you where later.

Marilyn, Marilyn, wave your handkerchief!

42nd and 5th.

Hurry!

Oh, Pete!

Lynn!

Pete, oh!

Oh!

Oh, Pete, what in the world happened to you?

Ch, I just bought a bag of popcorn.

Well, what's happened to you? Your clothes.

- Well, I just made a phone call. - Oh.

Look.

All the way across the Atlantic and I find that on our bench.

Hey, you.

Remember me?

- Well, yeah. - Boo!

Boy, this is what I call living.

You old mug, take off your shoes and kiss me.