Original subtitles

I like the way that a cigarette hangs from a mans lips when he's alone.

You only have a few minutes.

All Right.

To have seen a specter isn't everything

and there are death masks piled one atop the other, clear to heaven.

Commoner still are the wan visages of those returning from the shadow of the valley.

This means little to those who have not lifted the veil.

She had a very near brush and was not rallying properly

actually she was in marked decline and still much in danger.

I looked down, and for the first time

I noticed the tight, white sheet clinging to her sunken belly.

For a moment, I wondered if she knew then thought she must.

My role in all this was to make her feel better.

Better than what?

Hello.

Hello.

Thanks for being here.

Where else was I gonna go?

Got everything I need right here.

- Right? - Mmm, hmm.

You shoulda seen all you brought down.

Sirens, ambulances, doctors, nurses

butchers, bakers.

Some big fear you bring down, Miss Joan.

Hello. Oh?

Hello. Ah--it's for you.

Neal.

Sorry I'm late.

Late for what?

Pickin' you up. I'd've been here earlier, but you know

what with the rain and everything.

Did you know it's rainin' out? Cats!

Dogs!

Poodles. The whole bit yeah.

- Neal, what are you doing here? - I'm takin' you out to lunch.

It's four o'clock.

You must be starvin'.

Bye.

You're out of your mind.

Ah, oh, carry on. Fine.

Everything's fine. Good. Beautiful--whoops.

Oh!

Oh! Mr. Goldman finds out I left early--

How's he gonna find out?

He stops by.

So, you couldn't even bring an umbrella.

I could have. But I didn't.

I could watch you do just about anything, you know that?

I know.

But don't.

Why?

'Cause.

New topic.

What?

How do you do this?

This, that I hold in my hands...

is a miracle.

Now the chemistry of this sandwich would seem to make it impossible, but yet...

you have made a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich in which the cheese

still very hot and molten on the outside, yet the tomato

still has that, fresh...

bite to it hmm?

Well, I guess everybody's got their talents, Neal.

Mine's making a grilled cheese sandwich.

Not good enough!

Explain yourself, woman!

I'm afraid you're gonna have to leave now.

I gotta see day again, man.

Well.

Why don't you put it in with Fleming.

See if he can't put you on the day.

I did that.

He said there wasn't any days.

Seniority and all that.

So why don't you try for days.

You been here longer than damned Fleming.

Nah.

Why not?

'Cause.

'Cause why?

A man's got his reasons.

Remember that and respect that.

A man's always got reasons for what he does.

Okay. Sorry.

Jerry...

we come in here five out seven, fifty out of fifty-two

make things that are taking people places, and we're going nowhere.

Jerry...

you ever wake up in the middle of the night because the

the things that you see in your dreams are things you know nothing about?

When I close my eyes I see it.

Fences. I see white picket fences.

I see green, green grass, and...

Things that I honestly never touched, never smelled, except for...

when I go to this place

in my sleep.

Hey, you want some of this sandwich. Sardine.

Check this out, fourteen off the wall

side pocket kiss the nine.

Who are your friends, Har?

Sorry. So rude.

Girls, this is Neal Cassady.

Neal, the girls.

Hi. I'm Sarah. This is Vicky and Jean Ann.

Hi.

Hi.

Hello to you, too.

You rack 'em, I'll crack 'em.

I got some primitive crap to work out.

How is she?

She's uh, weathering the storm, brother.

You workin' tonight?

Nope.

Lovely. Buy me a beer?

Give me another two, will ya?

Something hard on the side.

Doctor Ayres, Doctor Ayres...

Doctor Ayres come to the...

- You okay? - Yeah.

I'm fine. Just go back to sleep.

♪ [smooth jazz music and the sound of rain] ♪

Oh, my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God.

God! Oh, God! Aw, God!

Hey! Somebody call an ambulance!

Hey!

Hey!

You coming in?

Huh?

You going inside the room?

Oh...

not right now.

Thanks.

How is she?

She's still very weak.

Is she dying?

Why don't you come inside the room.

Sit with her for awhile.

I can't.

I don't know...

I never asked her why.

How would I?

Not that she could have answered.

Likely the act was in response to the news that, a...

bouncer was, apparently, in the proverbial making, and..

well, the world bein' what it is and

people bein' who they are...

well.

As for me...

what is one to say about what he's done.

Call it cowardice. Fear.

- - Envy.

I never again went back to the hospital.

Each day I lacerated myself thinking' on her

but I couldn't go back.

Morning, sunshine.

Hey, I brought bread.

The old fat lady, you know the old fat lady?

She gave me a loaf for helpin' her.

I-- I swear to you, my brother

I could not make up a lie this laden with cliché.

I saved her cat.

Morning Benjamin.

I shit you not, I am, floating by on route to su casa

and I hear this screaming.

So I look over

assuming no decent burglar could have his wits about him 'afore noon.

And I see the old fat lady, you know...

the one with the hairy cheek thing.

Yeah.

Anyway, she's standing there howling at this poor

petrified cat that's perched above her in, uh, uh...

kinda like that poor petrified perch.

Anyway, so this poor pussy is

stuck up in her, uh...

Had I been going for the full American fable effect

I would lie and say tree but I shan't go there this morning. No.

The cat is on top of her corrugated steel awning thing.

You look like shit, man.

Yeah. You should see how I feel.

Is that a request?

I've had a rough few weeks.

Been back to the hospital?

Nope.

- ♪ - The title of this is Shaw 'Nuff. - Shaw 'Nuff. ♪

♪ ["Shaw 'Nuff" by Dizzy Gillespie and Charlie Parker plays] ♪

This is him. This is his--

This is him.

This is his form.

It's really moving forward it's everything go, go--

everything defying good racer propriety, ya' see--

This guy's so anxious, he can't just stand to sit back and drive, I mean--

this guy'd sit on the hood if he thought it would help.

If he thought it would get him there... faster.

- This is a story? - What. Yes.

- Did you write it? - What? Yes.

See, the thing is this guy, this new...

racer-hero archetype guy is gonna have to square off

against the conventional icon.

You see it's the man of knowledge and discipline

the man with the seat belt on and helmet snapped down tight. Old time values.

Pww! Running against the new world.

The new contempo legend's this guy, this guy, just wouldn't ease off even if he knew

that he or the car or whatever was about to blow up or break down.

This is you.

- What? - This is you.

This guy, this story...

this is you, Neal.

No, it's...

First of all, it's, it's two guys.

And second of all...

they're icons, man. They're...

symbols.

Who wins, then?

I don't know.

That's the beauty, man, I don't know.

Won't know till we get to the finish line.

Good bread, man.

Sustenance, brother.

So what brings you?

Other than an overwhelming desire to perform feline heroics

and deliver manna to a friend in need.

Well. I was feeling lonely.

A bit blue, and I thought to myself, who makes me happy when I'm sad?

And your name popped to the forefront.

Hmmm, thank you Benji.

Me speaks the truth.

Oh, and I need the suit.

The suit?

Mmm, hmm. Just for a couple of days.

You can grab it back when I'm done.

Why did I have this?

Man.

I love these threads.

New way.

Now hold 'em just right,

the light dances off the shoulders.

What do you think?

I almost look respectable.

Huh?

Probably looks better on you.

You got more of a frame for a suit.

Elegant, proper.

Mean that in a good way.

Trust me, Neal.

Nobody has a better frame for anything than you do.

You wanna pin me?

Not asking for sex.

Hey, listen.

I'm, uh, trying to line up a day job

get out of the land of bats and owls

you know what I mean?

So, if you hear of anything--

Yeah, but. It's pretty slim out there.

Don't I know it.

Not to see no greatness in myself. Greatness in myself.

I see no greatness in myself.

I see no greatness in myself.

Simple-minded, child-like, and insipid kind of--

vaudeville feeling. Moronic--

kind of awkward feeling, adolescent.

Sorry, pal.

You must resign yourself to being exceptional.

You have no right of claim to their fences and their grass.

You're special, man.

You are the Big Cat.

Destined to wander forever...

spreading your... sunshine...

onto the lives of those of us with less.

Your shot.

You know what I think we need?

What's that?

I think we need some road under us.

What say you?

Something in mind?

Here's my suggestion.

I say tomorrow in the A.M. when you get back from tire town...

you and me borrow a vehicle and stretch it out.

You girls up for a ride later?

Watch the sunrise?

We can't.

We've got school tomorrow.

Pity.

♪ ["Move" by Miles Davis plays] ♪

Harry.

Stole my first automobile at fourteen--1940.

- [Harry throws a bottle which breaks] Boo! -

By the time I swore off such soul-thrilling pleasures

nearly a decade later, I had illegally in my possession about five hundred cars

whether taken just for the moment and to be returned to their owner later

or whether taken for the purpose of so altering it's appearance as to keep it for several weeks.

Wow, man, that was all one sentence.

- Is that not what we needed? -

- Movement! - Oh my god!

The only thing that keeps us on this Earth!

Did you know that, girls?

They ever teach you that in, uh, astronomy or physics or geology?

Did they teach you that the only thing that's keeping us from flying off into nowhere...

is spinning. Woo hoo!

- That's right, man. Spinning like tops. We're spun out! - Neal? Neal.

- Faster, baby! Faster. -

- - Go man, go!

We have absolutely nothing to worry about. Yeah!

The time is now, and now is all we have.

- How you doin' there, cutie? -

Hey, Neal!

Jean Ann!

Cassady!

Cassady!

One, two, three, four--Hi--Hu!

I'm taking inventory of productivity.

Assessing our output.

Calculatin' our ever-looming, rubbery demise.

What are you on, son?

Currently I'm on fifty-seven, but my guess is...

there'll be thousands.

Are you high?

Relatively.

I can always get higher.

Neal. Neal.

Come down here, would ya'? Uh...

Look, you better shake whatever you're on...

because the truly higher ups

are comin' down in five to give us a check.

Damn.

You bet.

I'm sorry, Neal, was I distracting you by talking?

Why don't you grab us a couple of more beers while I, uh,

sink this crazy eight?

Hey, Neal, sometimes a little distraction's...

a good thing.

♪ ["Jingle Bells" by Dianne Reeves plays] ♪

♪ Dashing through the snow

♪ On a one-horse open sleigh

- * O'er the hills we go - 'Tis the season to be, but I wasn't.

- * Laughing all the way. - I was doing anything I could

to keep the vision deep in the dream.

♪ Bells on bob tail ring

I even met this chick at work, the boss's cousin or something.

- * Making spirits bright - Punchin' the card. Livin' on the family dole.

- * Oh what fun it is to sing - I stole a night of solace there,

- * A sledding song tonight - We both did, I think. From the grind to the grind.

♪ [music really starts to swing] ♪

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse... ♪

♪ open sleigh.

- * Oh, jingle, jingle bells - The pool hall became my temple.

- * jingle bells - My home away from home.

- * Jing-jing-jing-do-dah - To think, a year go, I barely know how to play.

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, jingle, jingle, jingle bells, jingle all the way ♪

So what's your reason?

Huh?

Your reason. Every man has a reason, what's yours?

Why are you here...

with me working the graveyard.

I said every man has a reason.

I didn't say every man want to talk about it.

Okay.

Sorry.

I started days.

And then my wife died.

Car accident.

And then...

I got to where I couldn't stand the nights alone, anymore.

The wood creaks...

somethin' about the drop in the temperature, but the wood creaks awful bad at night.

I look up to see her and...

I like workin' nights.

It's quiet.

Except for you.

Got a picture?

Hmm?

You got a kid.

Ruthie.

Lives out in California.

I've been savin' up to go see her.

We write every week.

Like clockwork, only better.

She's a beautiful young lady, my Ruthie.

Her mom would be real proud.

Yeah. I'll bet she would.

- * - Talkin' to Jerry the other night.

- Jerry? - At work.

- Jerry? - Right.

- The old man. - Exactly.

Run, man, run!

- He's got a kid. - Oh, yeah.

- Little girl. - That's... good for him.

- Ruth. - Pretty name.

- Can I play quarterback? - Sure.

Okay.

Go out over there.

You know they write each other, letters.

Every week. At least one letter a week.

His wife's dead.

Sorry to hear it.

Man, I love this part.

Uh, hike.

- This guy misses more things than I may ever have. - What?

A life, man. He's savin' up money to go visit his little girl.

Suckers walk!

It's not an epiphany or any great notion like that. It's just...

it's a realization. I'm thinkin' about California. The sun.

There's no winter. It's the great outdoors.

I mean, I could start fresh. I could get a job there.

Vanquish myself of the ghosts. Build my own little somethin'.

Hey Coach Rockne...

I gotta be back to work in ten.

- Go long. - Aw, Neal.

- Hike. - Stay with 'em.

- Back to work. - New time in this great land o' ours.

It's a metaphor, man.

I was just saying every man, every woman, for that matter...

wants a person to love, who loves them and a roof over their head when it rains.

Of course, but what does that have to do with the...

fenced in, happily ever after.

Look, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I know you, Cassady...

couldn't live that.

That'd be death for you.

You'd atrophy and die.

P-pow!

My shot.

What? Why?

You touched my ball first.

So, uh...

How long we been playin' here? Nine months, a year.

If you use my ball in a combination, then it's my shot.

Your ball still drops, but it is now my shot.

Do you make this up as you go?

It's a rule, Neal.

There'll be no anarchy on this felt.

Step out of the way and let me finish this off.

- Knock it off. - What?

- I'm trying to concentrate. - Ooooh, sorry.

It's time, Har, I can feel it.

Save the maiden. Swim the moat. Draw the drawbridge.

Ta-da-da-dah!

And they all lived happily ever after.

Oh!

Tell you what.

Why don't you swim over to the bar and rescue me an ale from the evil Beer-keeper?

Hey man a couple of more of the same.

Hi.

Hi.

Are you Neal?

Excuse me?

Are you Neal Cassady?

Yeah.

Well how do you do, Neal?

- I'm Elizabeth. - Oh, it's a pleasure.

Oh, how do you know, you just met me?

- I have a sense about these things. - Mmmm.

You used to date Joan didn't you?

- Yeah. - I thought so.

So, listen. Um...

Do you have somewhere to go tonight Neal?

Why? You going somewhere?

I have to go.

- Ahhh-- -

Before I go on...

I have to give you some information that is essential to the rest of the story...

so bear with me. I gotta give you one of my Hollywood flashbacks.

♪ ["A Tisket, A Tasket" by Ella Fitzgerald plays] ♪

Now, soon after returning from the New Mexico State Reformatory, after doing

eleven months and ten days of hard labor-- you know the song?

I, uh, had the rare luck to meet a sixteen-year-old high school beauty.

- This is October 1945, if you're keeping score. - * A tisket, a tasket

- Her name's Mary Jane Greenway. Cherry Mary... - * a brown and yellow basket

-* I sent a letter to my mommy - because she lived on Cherry Street, you see?

- The other reason for her fruitful name, well, uh, - * on the way I dropped it.

- didn't last long. - * I dropped it, I dropped it

- * Yes, on the way I dropped it. * -

♪ A little girlie picked it up and put it in her pocket. ♪

♪ She was truckin' on down the avenue, ♪

♪ Not a single thing to do.

♪ She went peck, peck, pecking all around ♪

♪ When she spied it on the ground ♪

♪ She took it, she took it

♪ My little yellow basket

- * And if she doesn't bring it back * -

- * I think that I will die. -

- ♪ - On the street? - No, no, no, no. ♪

- ♪ - On the bridge? - No, no, no, no. ♪

- ♪ - On the stoop? - No, no, no, no. ♪

♪ Just a little yellow basket.

♪ A little yellow basket.

She says I can't go out for a whole month.

Just to baby-sit.

Well, you'll just have to baby-sit more often.

C'mon, shhh, it's okay, it's okay, shh, c'mon.

Look at all this stuff.

Look at this rocket ship.

What's this, case he entertains?

C'mon, don't break anything. C'mon, what's the matter, huh?

What's the matter? It's okay.

- Shh! - Hey! What's the matter little man?

C'mere.

You got a thorn in your paw or something? Huh?

You cool now?

Man, smell him. He smells good.

Smell him.

- Look at you. - What? I'm just smellin' him.

He smells really good.

That baby smell.

Like the world hasn't dumped all their stink on him, yet.

You're wild, Neal.

You cool now, soldier?

♪ ["He May Be Your Man" by Dianne Reeves plays] ♪

♪ Well, he may be ours, but he ain't yours all alone. ♪

♪ Well he may be yours, but he ain't yours all alone. ♪

- * He's no more exclusive than a party line telephone. * - Wait! Wait! C'mere!

- Where? - * He's yours, he's mine, he's got another ♪

I've always wanted to do it in the bathroom.

What are you talkin' about? Always?

♪ Well, he yours, he's mine, and he's got another flame. ♪

♪ I knew he ain't true, but I love him just the same. ♪

Man and wife in their living room, phone rings.

Man answers and says

"I wouldn't know, better call the Coast Guard" and hangs up.

Wife says, "Who was it, dear?" Man says, "I don't know.

Some damn fool wanted to know if the coast was clear."

Har. Har. Har.

Wait! What was that?

Relax. He's sleepin'. And if he's not--

No, that's--

Mary?

Mary?

Uh, ah.

- Oh hi. - Hi.

Ah, there. How's Dexter?

Oh, he's fine. He's fast asleep.

Good. Very good.

- How come you're home so early? - I just hate those parties.

Oh. Oh, yes. Help me with my shoes.

Salesmen. Fifty salesmen are all telling the same...

this one horrible jokes and the pictures.

- Yes. - They all have pictures.

Me and Marge in New York City.

Marge at the Empire State Building.

That's crazy stuff.

- Oh, Mary-- - Huh?

Mary, would you get, uh,

there's a little white bottle in the medicine cabinet.

It's got a doctor's prescription taped right to the side.

Sure.

Oh, and the food.

I'm dead.

My goodness, they served some kind of fish. I--

now I don't even know what they call that fish. It's some sort of Jew fish.

Something like that.

Oh, Mary? Mary?

Yes, Father is coming--

Oh, Mary, can you do this up, please?

As Mary got wilder, the old bitch decided to give me a dressing down.

I can't remember the exact little thing that led up to this-- off-hand anyhow.

And since the mother wasn't the type to do it herself, and--

to impress me, I guess

she got the pastor of the parish to stop on by.

- - Oh, Neal.

Mary-- Mary-- you stop-- do not open that door!

Wait for me.

Compose yourself.

Neal.

I'm so happy you could join us this evening. Thank you.

Why don't you go on in--

Why don't you go on into the study and wait for us.

Mary stay with me.

Well.

Now.

Her home was in one the elite parishes, and she got the monsignor himself--

this was a Catholic church, to come over for dinner to give me a little lecture.

I arrived a little before him, so the old crow got to spew a bit of her own gospel

to warm me up for the main event.

- Cheese? - Mm hmm.

Well, the reason I wanted you to join us this evening for supper

was I had a few things I wanted to share with both of you.

Now.

You two, are just too young to understand about respect.

You think you're indestructible, you think you're beyond--

- beyond reproach. - I'll get it.

Stop it, stop it, stop it.

May I have this? Would you--

- hand-- hand-- thank you. -

You think you're beyond reproach.

Well I have a little news flash for you.

I'll get it-- sit, sit. Sheila-- I'll get it.

Father Fletcher. We are so pleased you're with us this evening.

How are you, Catherine.

- I am very fine, Father. May I take your coat? - Well, that's all right.

It's a great honor, sir.

Neal, Mary, we have our special guest here.

Neal, I think you might especially enjoy talking with him.

Girls, girls.

Father Fletcher, I think you remember my daughters, Sheila and Mary.

Of course, how are you, Mary?

Fine, Father. How are you?

Can't complain.

And this is--

Neal-- I don't believe this.

I've found you, at last--

His voice broke as he said his last words,

and his Adam's apple must have refused to articulate further

because all it gave out was a strange blubber.

You two have met?

Ah, shiny luck.

The ecstatic priest was Harlan Fletcher.

And check this--he was my Godfather.

When I was baptized at the age of ten in 1936.

The last time I saw the good Father I was an altar boy

at Holy Ghost Church engrossed in the lives of the Saints

and determined to become a priest or Christian brother.

Well that was more than six years ago before I started my

wander down the pleasanter path of evil.

Well, suffice it to say

he never did get around to playing mouthpiece for the old lady.

He was too full blissful joy at finding, as he put it, his lost son.

- Bye, Father. Good-bye. - The meal was done, the Father split

I glowed triumphant, and that old bitch hated me more than ever.

This your house?

- Anyway, back to our story. - Yeah.

That's nice. I mean it's a very nice house.

People dream about houses like this.

You, uh, live with somebody?

Yeah.

Forgot my key.

- Hey. - Hey.

- You made it. - Mm, hmmm.

This Neal?

Mmm, hmm.

How you doin' tonight, Neal?

Good. Ah, listen--

You know, come in.

I got a surprise for you.

So can I get you a drink or anything? A beer?

It's the least I can do. I pulled you away from a full draft.

Sure. Yeah. A beer. Great.

Listen, I'm-- I'm sure you got me confused with somebody else. I mean---

Finally--

Just when you think you learn your lesson...

- and you swear

to watch your step, a single moment off-guard will pop up and hope

will spring high as ever.

Hello.

One startled look and I knew.

I was right back where I started.

- These potatoes are over-cooked. - This is so good.

- Let me see-- - What you think? Think it needs more pepper?

How 'bout some music?

- You like Bee-bop? - Yeah. Yes, sir.

I love it. Thank you.

♪ ["Groovin' High" by Dizzy Gillepsie plays] ♪

Mmm, mmm, mm.

Boy, that looks so good.

- Doesn't it, though? - Yeah.

He's pretty cool, huh?

Uh- yeah.

He thought I was dying, Lizzie.

I know.

That's why he left.

He couldn't just stand there and, and watch me die.

He wanted to help, Lizzie, he really did and there wasn't anything he could do.

Lizzie, he loved me too much just to stand around helpless.

Why don't you set this out on the table

and I'll bring this beast out in a minute.

Lewis! You want to come in here and carve the meat.

- Joan. - Hmm.

He's real cool.

He is.

Uh huh.

Like a mirage.

This is an oasis.

How do you feel?

Over the prosperous supper on which we soon pounced

hung an air of excitement.

Joan and I were leaping with love looks across the roast beast.

While Lou and Lizzie just beamed on us.

And we planned, yes sir, all four of us.

And right out loud, too.

All right, the way I figure it. You kids have wasted too much time already.

You love each other, I can see it.

You gotta settle down, right now. You gotta job, Neal?

Uh, yeah. Yep, I have a job.

I'm working the graveyard shift over at Goodyear, but, uh

to tell you the truth, I've been lookin' for, uh, something during the day.

Those nights--start to take their toll and, uh--

Oh, I'm sure they do. Jeez.

I tell you what we're gonna do, you know

tomorrow morning, you and me are goin' in to see my boss.

Crack of dawn. 'Cause he owes me one.

I introduced him to his wife, remember?

She ain't that bad dear.

And we'll see about gettin' that day job.

Driving?

Yeah. Well, maybe.

I mean you gotta be twenty-one to drive a hack in Denver.

Are you twenty-one, Neal?

Uh, no, ma'am, but I will be twenty in February.

Well, you look a good twenty-one to me.

Life can just beat you up, can't it.

Hey, I mean, no offense. I mean, you know.

Could be worse, sir.

You're right, could be worse.

So, who's got room for dessert?

Look it, Neal, um, if you need a place to live until the first pay check or so

we got an extra bedroom

fold down couch, you know.

Thank you. Thank you, sir, but, uh--

Enough with the "Sir" okay?

You know, I mean, I appreciate the respect, but--

we're friends here, name's Lou.

A lot of people call me Uncle Lou-- I don't know.

All right.

I'll just do "Lou". Thanks.

But what I was gonna say was that, yeah, I have a room,

um, I'm living over by the trains, but, um

thank you, I mean, I'll think about it.

I mean it would be nice for Joan to have you two around.

Hey, you feel like some music, babe?

♪ ["Sugar Blues" by Dianne Reeves plays] ♪

- Hey, there. - Hey.

Sorry to barge in.

Hey, my pleasure.

Many an incident in this man's young life seems to be centered around the toilet.

I'm sure there's some deep and profound logic to all that.

Currently too full to make any rhyme of it.

Oh.

I'm about to burst.

Hmmm.

Pretty good people.

Old Lizzie and Lou.

Yeah.

How'd you meet 'em?

Lizzie works at the hospital.

Oh.

I look pretty crummy, huh.

Yeah, I do.

You--

you look like an angel.

Hi.

- I thought you were gone forever. - I know.

♪ Everybody's singin' the Sugar Blues ♪

♪ My lovin' man as sweet as can be ♪

♪ But the dog gone fool's turned sour on me ♪

♪ I'm so unhappy, I feel so bad ♪

♪ I could lay me down and die

♪ You can say what you choose

♪ But I'm all confused

♪ I got that sweet, sweet Sugar Blues ♪

♪ More sugar-- I-I've got that sweet, sweet Sugar Blues. ♪

They offered us a room here.

I know.

Actually, he offered you a room here.

He offered me the couch.

Till we tie the knot.

I mean, I come here

- thinkin'--I don't know-- - Mmm, hmm.

And then, and then, there you are--

like... a miracle.

Here I am.

- Thinkin'? - Yeah.

I kept goin', you know, I kept takin' in breaths

spittin' 'em out.

I missed you so much.

You slay me, Lady Joan.

Oh, damn.

Oh.

What?

You know, I , uh...

I--uh--

Neal, what?

Look at this.

- What? - This. I--I cant, I can't go meet somebody lookin' like this.

I don't know what to do.

I'm supposed to meet my hoped-for employer lookin' like--

Neal, what? I'm sorry. I don't know--

I'm gonna walk into this guy's office tomorrow. He's gonna smell my dinner from a week ago.

Neal.

What?

Neal-- that's--It's gonna be fine.

Yeah. It'll be fine. Everything's gonna be fine.

Calm down.

I promise you, this man tomorrow-- he's, he's gonna love you.

He's gonna love you almost as much as I do.

I don't want this--

I don't want this to go bad. I can't. I just--

Shhh. What's, what's gonna go bad.

We're together aren't we?

There's a little switch.

What?

You takin' care of me.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Well, things change.

- - Mmmm.

So you're gonna take care of me now?

If I have to.

For a little while.

You're back.

Yeah.

- The suit. - Huh?

The suit. You remember the suit I got with Peter and Ben?

- Uh, huh. - Ben's got it now. It's perfect. Finally.

A proper use for the suit.

I'll just do a little speed run and grab necessary clean duds. Ben's got it.

- He lives right around Twelfth and Ogden. - What?

I'll be back before you miss me.

- You're just running out? - An hour. An hour, it'll take me like.

- You've got to be kidding me. - What?

What?

- Okay. - Okay, what?

I'm coming with you.

Hey, you can't-- Joan, Joan? You're--

- What? - I don't think that's such a wise idea.

- Why not. - Because-- I haven't seen you in two months.

The first night we're together, I drag you out into the freezing air.

I mean, c'mon, I'm trying to take care of you, here.

What's worse? Dragging me out or running out?

- I'm not running out. - Yes, you are.

Okay, I'm running out, but I'll be running back even faster.

I want you healthy. I don't want anything to happen to you.

I got big plans for us. Understand?

Now, listen, I won't be gone long, I promise.

I'll be mercurial. I'll kiss you when I get back. Then we'll start a life together.

Just you and me, kid.

- Right? - 'kay

Okay.

Neal! Hey, Neal!

Ho, ho, ho.

Where's the fire, buddy?

I--

Come on in.

You're just the man I wanted to see.

- Har, I got somewhere to be, man. Uh-- - I'll buy you a beer.

- I'll see you later. - Come on, It's Christmas time.

Neal.

Have a drink with your pathetic, lonely, loser, piece of crap friend, for Christ's sakes.

Make my night.

I'm buying for God's sake.

I think it's one of the signs of the apocalypse.

C'mon.

What's a guy got to do to get some company in this town?

Just taste it.

That's egg nog, man.

Who drinks egg nog? I don't even know what's in that.

Well, that's part of its beauty. It's a drink with mystery.

And who's ever heard of a nog, right? Besides, it's the drink of the season.

Here, Have a taste. It'll warm you cockles.

Har, I gotta go. I shouldn't have stopped in the first place.

But you sounded so damned pathetic.

Can paint it pretty nice, eh?

What're you doing here, anyway?

- What'd they kick you out of the pool hall? - As a matter of fact, yes.

Said I was harassing the patrons.

Can you believe that?

Yeah.

But--I gotta go.

Let me buy you a shot.

Ah, I can't. I gotta go over to Benji's pad and then back to that chick's place.

Chick's place?

Are you still with that old chick from the pool hall?

Cassady, you are unbelievable.

- How do you--? - Shh.

Joan's back.

- Come again. - Joan--is back.

She survived.

That's what that older chick, Lizzie's comin' on to me about, you see?

She wanted be to go back to her place, because that's where Joan's been stayin'.

You kiddin' me?

That's not exactly the sort of thing you joke about, brother.

Did you check for stigmata?

So elaborate. How is she back?

I have no idea.

But she is.

She came back.

What're you doin' out. Why aren't you with her?

I'm gonna be.

I gotta job interview tomorrow. Go to work at Treat's Cab Company.

That's why I'm walking the wintry streets, sans maiden, you see.

- I have to get the suit. - Well, who's got it?

Well, Ben's got it. See-- he's done with it, though

so I'm gonna go--

Go get it.

Well let me get this all straight.

You have re-found your lost love.

And will soon be starting a job, a day job.

Thus, uh, living your dream life that you've been waxing on about.

Woody wagon, two-car garage...

the whole deal.

Holy shit.

Yeah.

This is good.

This is great.

This is harmonious.

Coincidental.

Symbiotic.

Freaky.

All right, so, here I am sittin' here nursin' the nog.

Let me buy you another draft.

Beer-tender! Another frosty draft for my friend.

- Okay. - Har, I thank you for the libations, brother

but I have a "happily ever after" to start.

See you around the bend, huh?

Okay.

I lied.

I do need something.

And note, I use the word "need" and not "want".

This is truly a matter of need.

What do you need?

What's Mary's phone number?

What?

Cherry Mary-- what's her phone number.

I've been pining, Neal

ever since you brought her by the pool hall, I have been a wounded man.

Laughin' on the outside, cryin' on the in.

And now that you've moved on

and happily-ever-after awaits...

can't you share a little mirth with a friend.

Harry. She's sixteen years old.

- What're you. You're thirty-two, thirty-three-- - You judging me?

I'm not judgin' you, I'm just sayin' that--

Besides, she's probably seventeen by now.

Harry.

Harry. Please.

For a friend.

C'mon, man, it's just numbers, man. It's just numbers.

Harry, I, uh--

I gotta tell you, man.

She really didn't dig you.

So-- give me the rope.

Let me hang myself.

Hi. Is Mary there?

Thanks.

Yeah, well--

I know. Sure, I know.

Right, well. Listen.

Okay. Okay.

Hey, Cassady!

Cassady! I--uh--

What's up, man?

I just, uh

I just wanted to--

Damn, it's cold out here.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for the number

and uh, I don't know buy you another beer--

Har, I go somewhere to be, man. I told you before.

Sure. Right. And I would never wanta--

How far do you think that was?

It feels like a God damn mile, man.

Man, I gotta get in shape like you, Neal.

Strong, Lean. You know, that's how you--

Har, let's do this fast, shall we?

Why don't you tell me precisely what it is that you need and I'll tell you no, all right?

Okay?

She said she couldn't come down right now.

- But to call her in half an hour. - Great.

Call her in half an hour and have a great time.

Well, she sort of said that--

She said.

She asked for you to call her.

Excuse me?

She said she would love to hear the sound of your voice.

- And her mother's not even that mad-- - You told her I was there?

I had to, brother. I was gettin' nowhere. I really ice at Christmas. I needed help.

And I can't help you, Harry.

Okay? Okay, man? I can't help you.

- Please. - Just a call. A conversation.

- Harry-- - For a friend.

You are a true one, Neal.

Last resort, you understand?

Absolutely. I will--

Hey. Hello.

Could I please speak with Mary, please?

This is Harry.

Thank you.

I can't do this. I, uh-- I gotta split. This whole thing's feelin' real bad.

Hey, Mary.

So what'd you think?

You think maybe you can uh.

Huh?

Oh. Uh.

He's, uh-- He's uh--

Right here. Yeah. He just didn't want to have a run in with the old lady, you know, um

Here. Let me put him on.

Just get her here and then you're on your merry way, and I'm on my "Mary" way

if you know what I'm saying'? Just talk.

I love you for this, buddy.

Hey, Mar, how's it going?

Hey.

Where have you been? I miss you.

Yeah. Well.

Listen, Harry here was wondering if--

You remember Harry. Long guy, my pool hall compadre.

Yeah.

Well, uh, listen, Harry was wondering if maybe

you might want to slip out from under the watchful eye of guard-mother and, uh--

I know.

Right.

- So-- - What bar?

Uh. The Tavern. It's over--

- You two just hanging out? - It's over between Colfax and Pearl.

You gonna be there for a while?

No, actually, I was just passin' by

happened to see Harry, here and uh

Where are you going?

Well, uh, I was on my way over to Ben's house. Pick up a suit.

Got a big job interview tomorrow.

Really?

- Yeah. - That's great. My mom was so mad at you.

Uh huh? Oh, yeah.

I can't believe you knew Father Fletcher.

That was-- that was really-- funny.

Yeah, well, sometimes-- good fortune follows those who least deserve it.

What?

Nothing.

Listen, Mar, why don't you come down, I mean -- Harry really-- love--

- Hello, this the operator-- - Hello.

five cents for the next three minutes.

- Give me a nickel. - What?

You're out of time. I need a nickel for the phone. Damn it.

- Hang on Mary, we're just getting-- - If you are unable

to deposit the additional five cents I'm sorry, but I'll have to disconnect the call.

No, we have it, ma'am. Just, please, hang on one second, operator. My friend is--

Sorry.

Is she still there? Did we lose her?

Relax, man.

Give me the phone.

Never mind, you just--

Listen, Mar, why don't you talk to Harry. He's right here, chomping at the--

I miss you, Neal.

Why don't I put Harry on? All right?

We had some real fun. Huh, Neal?

Yeah.

Listen, I'm gonna put you on with Har, all right?

I miss saying your name again.

Neal.

Oh.

I'm gonna put you on with Harry.

I like saying your name.

Screaming your name.

What? Is she coming?

- Uh, maybe. - You are my god, man.

Remember? Me being blind?

Yeah, I remember.

In that big house that my mom was selling over on Forest.

I can't do this right now, Mar.

I swiped the key and we just walked right through the big front door

just like the place was ours.

She used to like to play at blindness.

It could happen anywhere.

While she was driving-- I'd grab the wheel.

When she was walking-- I'd lead her.

She really played the true martyr thing.

It'd begin simply enough with her just announcing that she couldn't see.

And it would go on till she said she could see again.

Mar, Why don't I put Harry on.

He could give you directions over here.

Remember?

Big bedroom?

And the bath.

You had to guide me all around because I couldn't see anything.

Mary.

Then you undressed me.

And you washed me.

And you soaped me

And you washed my hair.

Oh. God.

Can't believe I'm talking about this.

I'm getting all--

You know?

Hmm.

Can I come down to the bar and see you?

Neal? Let me come down.

Is she coming down or what?

Please tell me you didn't screw this up.

Neal? I need this.

Wait for me, okay?

I'll sneak out.

We'll borrow a car and go joy riding.

Yeah.

Why don't you come down?

Great.

I'll sneak out right now.

Okay.

You'll be there, right?

I'll be there in twenty-five minutes. I'll hitch.

- Unless-- - I'm--

You want to come here.

I'll hitch.

I love you, Neal.

She's on her way.

I love you, man.

You are it! You are the big daddy of all big daddies.

Let me hang up the phone, man.

Give me your shoe.

- What? - Give me your God damn shoe.

I want to kiss the ground you walk on.

She still thinks you're a creep, man.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't even matter one bit.

Shows she's got good taste.

I am a creep.

Hell, you know that, I know that. It's good that she knows that.

Get things out in the open. Start with honesty.

That's what my old man said before he took off.

And, I might add that creepiness just so happens to be one of my most powerful traits.

Creepiness, and neediness.

So listen, uh. I'm-- Look, when Mary gets here, you tell her that I'm--

You're not staying?

I still gotta get back to the house man. Hell, I still gotta make it to Ben's.

Road pop? Huh?

Let me buy a final adieu for my savior.

My Elijah.

Where'd you get all this cash from, anyway?

Robbed a bank.

Kidding.

The dole man.

Drinkin' from the government tit.

Come on.

What's another fifteen minutes when you've already blown an hour.

One more. Then I'm on the road.

Done!

Mas nog and another brew for my bestest buddy in the whole wide world.

He's gonna blow.

Excuse me for a moment.

Tried to tell you, man. You gotta stay away from them sweet drinks.

You got some gum or something?

No. Sorry.

Shit.

She's gonna get here and I'm gonna stink all over.

Hi.

Remember me? I'm Harry.

You all right, man?

Yeah. I'm cool.

Give me a hand up.

I just gotta wash off my face.

You better split, brother.

Cherry Mary's liable to strut through that door and

blow your happily ever after all to hell before you even get a taste of it.

You want it, don't you?

What?

The wild stuff.

You talk a good game about the...

picket fences and the honey at home, but...

when the seven deadly sins start lining up at your door step

and you see that little lady lust all dressed in black--

What're you? The devil?

It's in your eyes, brother.

It's in your soul.

You are meant to roam the plains

live off the fat of the land.

Or the lamb.

This other crap.

It's just dreamin'

Screw you, man.

I'm just lookin' and reportin' what I see.

Yeah?

No.

No.

You know what, Harry? You don't see jack.

Hey, man.

Hey!

Brother Neal.

Get a little happy for all of us.

You Neal Cassady?

Uh, who's asking?

It seems Cherry Mary's mother was listening on the phone

and heard her sufficiently under age little angel talking nasty, nasty to yours truly-truly.

I guess she jotted down the address I gave Mary and sent in the goons.

See -- Mom was very politically powerful.

If you're dying with some guy holding a knife to your throat,

you might have to wait awhile for the men in blue

but when Frau Bitch calls

- - the boys jump.

She won't testify.

Flat out said no to her mother.

So then I-- I'm free to go?

Well, actually, I'm afraid it's not quite that easy.

Well now, I don't understand. What, uh--

Well, it seems that there've been some other charges brought to our attention.

Like?

We're gonna have to return you to your cell just for the day so that we can work this all out.

But I didn't do anything.

No-- I-- just-- Sir, um, I'm sure that there's been some kind of big misunderstanding.

But I have somewhere to be.

Somewhere other than this.

And, and, well I have to leave.

Well, it's, uh, uh.

Well...

I'm not supposed to be here, so I have to go.

Well, I'm sorry but I'm afraid you're not going anywhere today.

All right, but I should be able to make a phone call. That's the least right? Phone call?

Well what're you waitin' for?

A sign.

I didn't even know their last name.

Lou and Lizzie what?

So I sat there.

Well, actually, I walked there.

Nine by eleven.

I must have covered twenty miles in the two long weeks they kept me there.

Oh, the charge?

Suspicion of burglary.

Of my pool hall hang out, yet.

Oh, and because the charge had superficial plausibility

because I racked balls there some, and I knew the layout

they were able to keep me there for more time than one might think.

Not to mention the fact that Mary's mom was flexing

all her political muscle to keep me there as long as possible.

Sorry, kid. Nothin' I could do.

She wanted you done. We had to do ya.

The trees were down.

The toys were already broken.

And Christmas cheer had given way to winter blahs

before the Captain of Dicks admitted that he knew I was clear all along.

So...

all this in explanation of why Joan and I didn't live happily-ever-after.

It's very simple, really.

We were given no chance.

Or perhaps we were given every chance and took none.

I guess I could've waited.

Probably, I should've waited.

But, as you know

this was not the last time I committed suicide.

And so love goes.

And so life goes.

And so I go.

You carry on, my brother.