All language subtitles for Schitts.Creek.S05E07.A.Whisper.Of.Desire.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.H.264-CtrlHD

- Hmm. David.
- Hmm?

Perhaps your indigestion
is caused by the speed

with which you consume
your food.

We should do breakfast more
often, this is really fun.

Mhmm.

- Hi, Mrs. Rose.
- Hello, Patrick.

Care to ensconce yourself?
- Oh, I wish I could.

Um, David?
- Hmm?

You told me you were just
running across the street

for a cup of coffee.
- But then I got hungry.

I hadn't eaten since last night.

It's just that I have to get
ready for my audition,

and somebody has to be
at the store, so.

- You're being audited?
Those bastards!

No, uh, audition.

I'm actually trying out
for "Cabaret".

"Cabaret".

You're familiar with the show?

Please don't start.

- The year was 1979.
- '79. Mhmm.

I was but 17.

- She was not 17.
- Ah.

Hostessing at a charming
gas station deli,

when the great director,
Rocky Nickels,

came in for a Reuben.

That's a sandwich.

Little did he know,

he would end up biting into
something

far more suffonsifying.
- Far more suffonsifying.

A ripe young actress
who he'd soon cast

in the leading role
of Sally Bowles.

Sally Bowles, yes.

- In the production of...
- "Cabaret".

Yes!

Ask me how many ovations
I got on closing night.

- Six.
- David, you know the answer!

That's a lot of ovations.

Mhmm, three by demand,
and three on the house.

And who, may I ask,
is bold enough

to scale this cultural monolith?

Jocelyn's actually directing
for the community theatre, so.

Jocelyn?

That's very ambitious
of Jocelyn.

Yeah well, I just thought
it could be a fun thing to do.

Yes, the exact sentiment
expressed by the passengers

as they stepped aboard
the Titanic.

Okay, well, that's really
encouraging.

What?! They were having
a rip-roaring bash

before that bloody iceberg.

- I'm just gonna get the bill.
- Yeah, I'm gonna go.

- I'll be just two minutes.
- Okay.

Hey, Stevie.

Excuse me,
I'll just be a minute.

I just heard from Alexis
that Ted's mom, Cheryl,

will be coming in
from Elm Ridge,

and joining us for the weekend.

So uh, I'd like to just keep
an eye out for her, okay?

She's a lovely woman,
very striking,

full-figured...
- Mr. Rose!

It's Cheryl Mullens.

- Cheryl!
- Yes!

Oh, I-I-I...

I didn't recognize you
there for some reason.

Well, I lost 80 pounds,

I changed my diet,

and I started taking
Zumba classes.

Well, good for Zumba.

And you haven't changed
at all, Johnny.

Still as handsome as ever.

Oh, well, there you go.

Uh anyway, we're gonna put you
in our best room, okay?

- Aw!
- And, tell you what.

It's on us, Cheryl.

- Is it?!
- Thank you.

You're a sweetheart.

They don't make men
like you anymore.

Well, we try to treat
people good.

Try to treat good...

have a nice room.

Day! Day. Have a nice day
in your room.

- What?
- You gonna be okay?

Yeah.

- Jocelyn!
- What the... Moira!

You really snuck up on me there.

Those shoes do not make a sound.

- Blame Wang.
- What're you doing here?

Alas, I was sure there was
a council-related symposium

here this afternoon, but...

it appears the room has been
set up

in an audition configuration?

I'm so glad I'm doing it right.

Today is day one of auditions
for "Cabaret".

"Cabaret!"

Yeah, I actually wanted
to do "Cats",

but everybody said that
it was too political, so.

I'm not sure you're aware
of this Jocelyn,

but "Cabaret" is the very show
that launched my career.

- Right!
- Mhmm.

1979, you had a Reuben.

No, but never mind.

I'm simply here to wish you
the best of luck.

Moira...

since you have the strong

personal connection
to "Cabaret",

do you think that you could...
help me?

No, this is your bebe, Jocelyn,

and an artistic cradle robber,
I am not.

Okay, it's just that I have
this actual baby at home,

plus a whole lot of term papers
to grade.

I wouldn't want to step
on anyone's toes.

But if you would indulge me
a promenade along...

memory lane,

I'd love to sit in
on the auditions.

Okay, if that's as much as
you're willing to contribute.

All righty.
- It's settled, then.

Consider me a silent monarch
on the wall.

- Will do.
- Now, Jocelyn...

is this really how you want
to set up the chairs?

- No?
- Oh God, no!

Roland. You brought
a baby into the store.

Shhh. Yeah.

And I don't know why I haven't
brought him in sooner,

this place is perfect.

Thank you so much.

Yeah, they say that babies
fall asleep quickest

when they're surrounded
by an eerie,

almost crypt-like silence.

What can I do to shorten
your stay in my store, Roland?

Oh, uh, Joce wanted me
to pick up uh, some of this.

This organic applesauce.

Organic. Listen to me!

Who am I? Gwyneth Paltrow?

No, no, you're not.

Ah.

Ooh sorry, I gotta take this.

What about this, though?

- Uh, hello? Ronnie.
Hi, what's going on?

No! Oh my God!

What?

Dave, please,
I'm on a private call.

Uh huh, okay,
I'll be right over.

Oh boy, sheeesh.

Everything okay?

Well, Gwen was trimming
that big oak tree

behind her place, and she took
out a power line,

and now there are live wires

flailing every which way
but loose.

So I guess uh,

Rollie Jr. and I should
head over there.

Hey, this applesauce,

it's not gonna go bad
in the sun, is it?

I'd be more concerned
about the baby,

but what do I know?
- You're right!

You know what I'll do?
I'll leave 'em both here.

No! No, absolutely not!

I have a meeting in half an hour

with a potential big money
client,

and a rogue baby in my store
does not present as polished,

or professional.
- He'll be fine.

If he gets cranky,
give him some applesauce.

Those are $10 a jar!

- Okay.
- Dammit!

No, I will not accept that.

No, but I entered that
in there already.

Dad, Cheryl wants to take
a shower,

and all she has is a facecloth.

Oh, okay. Well, Stevie uh...

can you run some towels down
to room four?

- Why do I need to do it?
- Okay, what's the big deal?

Just walk them over,
and drop them off.

Well, Alexis, if you must know,

when I was checking Cheryl
in this morning,

I-I got a bit of a vibe.

Ew, what kind of vibe?

I think I might've gotten...

a whisper...

of desire.

"Whisper of des..." Oh my God!

Please never use that phrase
like, ever again.

My face was touched.

She was doing this.
She called me handsome!

Okay, Cheryl is in a happy
marriage.

She just happens to be
very like,

warm, and affectionate.

Her hand was warm
and affectionate.

Ted! Hi!

Uh, my mom was just wondering

if she could maybe get
some towels?

Towels? Yes!

And perhaps you could take
these to her?

Oh yeah, sure.

My mom also wants you
to join us for lunch today.

She said she won't take no
for an answer.

Uh, that would leave Stevie
alone here at the counter.

And I-I don't think that uh...

Oh, but I prefer it that way,
though.

Oh my God, Dad,
um yes, he can come.

Okay great,
I'll go let her know.

She was just saying
how she wants to get

to know you better.
- Hmm. Hmm.

- Psh! Shh! Wait!
Do you hear that?

- What?
- It's like a...

faint whisper of desire.

- That was a good one.
- Thanks!

Oh boy. Don't do that.

Wow, Bob.

Who knew you were a man
of so many talents?

Well, I don't need to see
any more.

Bob... - Ahem!

Moira, is there anything
you'd like to add

to Bob's audition?

I'm just marinating in memories.

Okay well,
we start rehearsals...

But while I marinate,

it might be worth observing

your giving Bob a slight
redirection.

- Mhmm...
- If that's all right?

Oh, I've cleared
my afternoon for this.

Okay, uh...

well, try it um,

angrier? You know, like, grr,

put your hands on your hips.

Like this?

Oh dear.

Okay. Well, it seems to me,

that it would be helpful
to both of us

if you would just join us
here at the table.

Well, there's a note
I'm incapable of rebuffing.

You heard the director.

Thank you.

Do you want me to sing
"Ave Maria" again?

If you must, but I think what
Jocelyn is looking for here

is a foreboding vibration
of pre-war Berlin,

easy on the accent.

Roger that, yeah.

Okay, so this is what
we call mutual respect.

So if you could just stay
like this for the an hour,

that would be ideal. Okay.

- Hi, David?
- Tina?

- Mhmm.
- Oh my goodness!

We are so excited
at the prospect

of working with "Premium
Parties".

- Oh, that's very sweet.
- Yeah, so as you know,

we can source basically
anything you need

when it comes
to party essentials.

Gift bags, catering,
Shaman-blessed crystals,

artisanal Reiki gloves.

For today, I was just hoping
to hear about the store,

and make a connection with you.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, no, I love making
connections.

Oh.

Oh no, that's not...

Oh, I didn't know that
you had a little guy!

Yeah, his dad is just out
right now,

but he should be back any time.

Oh yeah, they say that,
and next thing you know,

it's been an hour, am I right?

Yes. Yeah.

They say it's an emergency,
but is it really, Tina?

Yeah, so tell me the last
time that watching

the new "Fast and the Furious"
was an emergency!

You know, I have
a two-year-old at home.

- Oh.
- How old's this little one?

He's um, three to four months.

- Oh, wow.
- Mhmm.

He's huge for four months.

- Mm, big eater.
- Ah.

You know, we-we do sell these
delicious granola bars.

You're giving him granola?

No, no, I eat the granola bars,

while taking care of him.

He prefers um...

the organic applesauce.

It must be so helpful to have
your own little product tester

here in the store with you.

You know what?

Why don't you take this home
with you,

try it out on your little one.

You know, I'm actually
throwing a baby shower

next week, uh, but I mean,

that's probably not enough
notice for you.

I threw a baby shower
for my dear friend, Jocelyn,

within a day,

I'm pretty sure I can get
supplies by next week.

You two might be my new
favourite vendors.

Do you think that maybe
he could um,

show me around?

Yeah. You want,
you wanna show her around,

little tyke?
- Show me around. Hm.

And there he was,

naked as the day he was born,
just wailing!

It had rained, and his
cotton candy was melting

all down his hand!

Yeah, that was fun, but uh,

maybe we can start telling
some stories

about someone else
who was naked and crying?

Okay, fine, but I think
everyone here

has already heard about
my Vin Diesel adventure.

Mind if I have a fry, Johnny?

No, no, go ahead, help yourself.

And if anyone else wants a fry,

please feel free to take one.

Mom, I really wish I'd have
known about this trip

a little bit sooner, I wouldn't
have asked Alexis

to help me out at the clinic
today,

and she could've kept
you company.

Mhmm, I also wish you hadn't
asked me to help out

at the clinic today.
- Oh, don't worry,

this was just a last
minute whim.

I just don't know what
I'm gonna do with those tickets

that I bought to the Elmdale
Gallery.

Johnny...

I don't suppose you'd be
interested in playing

hooky today, huh?
- Oh, no!

I haven't played hooky
since college.

Dad, I think you can spare
a couple of hours

to accompany Mrs. Mullens,

who otherwise would be going
by herself.

Well, when you put it
that way, Alexis,

uh, I'd look like a real jerk
if I said no.

Then lunch is on me.

A free room and now a hot date

with the owner of the motel?

Lucky me!

Yeah...

I can't tell you how much
this means to me, Mr. Rose.

- Oh, I'm just...
being a good host.

See, my mom and my Step-Dad
separated a while ago.

What? Why have I not heard
about this before?

Well, I wanted to tell you,

but she made me promise
to keep it quiet.

You know, small town,
people talk.

So Ted, your mom is currently
unattached?

Yeah, yeah, but she's in
a much better place these days.

She's got like,
a whole new lease on life.

She told me that she's just
going after whatever she wants,

no holds barred!

Oh, well hopefully,
some holds barred.

- Johnny?
- Hmm?

- I'm ready to go.
- Oh!

Um Dad, if you do have
too much work this afternoon...

Well, we're in it now, Alexis.

- Here we go. Oh, after you.
- Oh!

- Please, don't go.
- Are you serious?

Okay, I'm just
gonna stop you there.

Thank you.

Um Beth, I was wondering
if you could maybe...

Dig deeper, yeah.

Let's throw away the lines,
soften the edges.

Yes, I was gonna say,
speak louder,

but that also sounds important.

So why don't we um...
- Yes, tap her out!

You step in, and lay the
groundwork for Patrick. Yes.

You want me to tap in
and act with him?

Mea culpa, Jocelyn,

I sorely underestimated
your instincts.

Okay.

Okay, the thing you must
understand about Cliff,

Patrick, is that he has been
with many women,

but he's never derived
true pleasure from it.

I think I can wrap
my head around that.

Okay, when you're ready.

Don't go.

- What?
- Please, don't go!

Ooh, less desperation.

Are you serious?

- The hell with Bobby!
Maybe I like you here.

Firm, but not loud.

The truth is, Sally,
when you're out all night,

I can't sleep.

- Better, better.
Now seduce her.

Oh my.

Our little bed suddenly
seems so empty.

I've never felt this way
about anyone.

You truly mean this?

Bring it home...

More than I've ever
meant anything.

And, scene!

Oh!
- Whew!

Now that is a breakthrough.

Patrick, thank you.

Or should I say thank you
to our new Emcee!

Oh no, no, Patrick
was auditioning

for the role of Cliff.
- Yes, he was.

But we all know you put
your biggest talent

front and centre.

Isn't that right, Jocelyn?
- Sure.

As long as I never have to act
again.

Okay, no.

Thank you!

We'll-we'll call your people.

I did not think I would
find a new vendor today.

Well, sometimes
it just clicks. Here.

Well, why don't I swing
back on Wednesday,

and pick everything up
for the baby shower?

Perfect!

And I hope I'll see you
on Wednesday, too!

Hey!

How's my big boy?
- This must be Dad.

- Yes.
- Roland Schitt.

- Tina Holbridge.
It is so nice to meet you.

I've just been spending
the whole afternoon

with your two special guys.

Oh, well, you know,
Roland Jr. and I,

are gettin' there,
but uh, this guy,

I've known him for a long time.

You know that he uh,
took me shopping once?

- Yeah, you know what?
Are you ready to take um, him?

Because I'm sure you have
a busy day.

Yeah, I should probably
grab him, and go.

I'm sorry, I would've been
here sooner,

but I got electrocuted
three times,

and the last time I didn't
bounce back quite as fast.

Oh. Well, the important part
is that you're-you're here now.

Yeah, and luckily
Gwen's fine, too.

I don't know why she was
wearing that rubber dress

when she cut that wire,
but it saved her life.

- Hmm!
- Wow...

Well, I should probably let
you guys have some family time.

I am so looking forward
to working with you, David.

Likewise.

Hey, sounds like the meeting
went pretty well.

- It couldn't have gone better!
Yeah.

So, if ever you need me
to babysit this little one,

I have some openings.

Oh, well, that's great,
because Joce and I

were thinking about going to
the movies tomorrow night.

I was thinking next Wednesday
between four and five pm.

Mm, yeah, no, Thursday,

that's probably gonna be
better for us.

Let's go with Wednesday.

Thank you, Johnny,
for a lovely afternoon.

Well, it's always a thrill
to experience a collection

of nude photographs with a...
a new friend.

It was eye-opening.

Johnny, I have something
to tell you.

Uh huh?

Umm, what's going on over here?

Hey, you crazy kids.

Hope you didn't have too much
fun this afternoon.

Alexis, I was just
about to tell Johnny,

so I might as well
tell you, too.

Ted's Step-Dad and I
have separated.

- Oh my gosh.
- Oh!

It's for the best.

In fact, I think I've already
started to develop feelings

for someone new.
- So soon?

- You wanna know the best part?
- Not necessarily.

He's charming, and handsome.

Okay, I think we understand
where this is going.

And ten years younger!

Than?

I've fallen for
my Zumba instructor.

- Bill?
- Bill.

Well, Bill's great!

Does this mean that I get
his gym discount?

- It does!
- Awww!

This is great news.

Isn't this great news, Dad?

Yes, yes, I'm relieved...

that you're so happy.
- Mhmm.

Thank you for providing such
a safe place for me

this afternoon.

You know, you remind me
of my older brother.

Hey, maybe I should
start calling you

"Uncle Johnny," then, huh?

- Oh, ha ha ha.
- No. Nope. Nope.

Mom, come on, tell me
all about it.

Oh!

I'm just worried about
what that young,

hot young Zumba instructor
is gonna do

when he finds out that Cheryl
has a huge crush on you.

Okay, Alexis.

But you bought into it
for a second there.

Well, that was a great day
of auditions today, Moira.

Agreed.

Wow, in a desert of mediocrity,

you managed to divine
a quiet revelation

in Ronnie's Fraulein Schneider.

Well, I think you deserve
most of the credit.

You know, watching you work
with the actors today,

I think it was pretty obvious
that you should...

Reprise my role of Sally?

Uh, maybe? But...

- There's the age discrepancy.
Bit of a challenge there.

Although I did play
Liesl Von Trapp at 50.

Actually...

working with you made me
realize that I may not

have the skills to do this.

But you, you were practically
directly by yourself today.

Oh, Jocelyn, thank you.

And now I fear I've overstepped.

- No, no, no, please!
Step all over me.

You should be the director,
it's clearly in your blood.

Well, humility forbids me
from thinking

I could become a quadruple
threat that easily.

- Please, Moira.
You'd be doing me a favour.

I mean, it's either that,

or you could call
Mr. and Mrs. Tekenos

and let them know
that their daughter

bit another student
at school today.

- I accept.
- Thank you, Moira!

I am happily stepping down.

In title only.

You will be there with me
every step of the way, Jocelyn.

Assistant directing.

- Assistant directing?
- Mhmm,

some would argue it's even more
responsibility than directing.

What have I done? No!