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1
00:00:07,268 --> 00:00:08,941
David, what time is Patrick's
housewarming tonight?
2
00:00:08,965 --> 00:00:10,184
Hmm, you'll have to ask him.
3
00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:12,142
He told me he doesn't want
my help,
4
00:00:12,186 --> 00:00:14,318
so I'm just gonna play
the supportive partner,
5
00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:15,841
and watch him fail.
6
00:00:15,885 --> 00:00:17,800
Okay, it's just that if
Ted and I are gonna be
7
00:00:17,843 --> 00:00:20,150
fashionably late, we need
to know when it starts.
8
00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:23,588
There you are, Alexis!
9
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:25,895
- Good morning, Roses.
- Jocelyn, Roland.
10
00:00:25,938 --> 00:00:29,377
Look at you, positively
flushed with motherly glow.
11
00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:32,249
We've just been running
around looking for Alexis.
12
00:00:32,293 --> 00:00:33,685
That's so sweet; what's up?
13
00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:35,098
Remember that time
that you told me
14
00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:37,776
you'd be there for me
if I ever needed you?
15
00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:39,430
I don't think that was me.
16
00:00:39,474 --> 00:00:42,129
Well, our babysitter for
tonight just cancelled on us,
17
00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:44,218
and we were gonna have dinner,
18
00:00:44,261 --> 00:00:46,437
and uh, a couples massage.
19
00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:49,005
But unfortunately,
the couple that massages us
20
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,225
can only do it
once a month, so...
21
00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,053
Hmm, no. Um...
22
00:00:53,096 --> 00:00:54,576
well, I totally would
think about it,
23
00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:56,926
but I have a housewarming
thing tonight.
24
00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:58,710
Ohhh...
25
00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:02,758
David?
26
00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:05,326
Is Patrick also going to that
housewarming party?
27
00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:08,285
Patrick's throwing the party,
unfortunately.
28
00:01:08,329 --> 00:01:10,244
Well Rollie, we're just
gonna have to cancel.
29
00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:12,550
Because we have asked
literally everyone.
30
00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:14,596
Oh, jeez.
31
00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:16,250
Thanks anyways, Roses.
32
00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:18,078
Sorry.
33
00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:22,691
Well, that was weird.
34
00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:24,736
Seriously. A nighttime
couples massage,
35
00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:27,174
what is this, 1985?!
36
00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:30,264
No! They asked everyone
at the table except us,
37
00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:31,961
we're sitting right here!
38
00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:34,026
They're not going to ask
someone of your age, John.
39
00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:36,792
We raised two kids.
40
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:38,750
"Raised" might be a stretch.
41
00:01:38,794 --> 00:01:41,362
Our nursery was in a different
wing of the house.
42
00:01:41,405 --> 00:01:43,205
- It was a design flaw.
- I'm a light sleeper.
43
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,810
John, you're not still
working on that
44
00:01:54,853 --> 00:01:56,725
cumbersome laundry hamper?
45
00:01:56,768 --> 00:01:58,901
I told you, it's a playpen,
Moira.
46
00:01:58,944 --> 00:02:00,424
I was hoping you were joking.
47
00:02:00,468 --> 00:02:02,948
No. After Roland and Jocelyn's
48
00:02:02,992 --> 00:02:04,515
little oversight this morning,
49
00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:07,910
I took it upon myself
to offer our services.
50
00:02:07,953 --> 00:02:10,434
Why in God's name
would you do that?!
51
00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:12,480
It's a principle thing.
52
00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:15,700
Roland and Jocelyn don't think
we can take care of a kid.
53
00:02:15,744 --> 00:02:19,051
That's an argument
I'm willing to lose.
54
00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:21,402
So now I have go to Ronnie's
by myself.
55
00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:23,099
What?
56
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,463
I told you, the Lifetime Network
57
00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:26,755
is re-airing the movie I did
with Joyce DeWitt.
58
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:29,279
Remember?
"Not Without My Cousin."
59
00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:30,846
And Ronnie's TV gets
that channel,
60
00:02:30,889 --> 00:02:32,064
I told you this, John!
61
00:02:32,108 --> 00:02:33,892
Or at least I'm telling you now.
62
00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:37,418
Okay, well then, have fun.
63
00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:39,115
I'm more than capable
64
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,117
of looking after this kid
myself.
65
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,206
John, my sweet husband.
66
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,948
We have nothing to prove
as parents.
67
00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:47,515
We did our best
for our children.
68
00:02:47,558 --> 00:02:49,256
Yeah, we were there
most weeknights.
69
00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:51,301
For at least a couple of hours.
70
00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:52,713
Unless we were out
for the evening.
71
00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:54,130
Yeah, or jetting around.
72
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:56,088
Or if it was a really long day.
73
00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:58,292
Yeah, no, no, I'm not
the least bit concerned, Moira.
74
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:02,182
Besides, if Roland can look
after a baby,
75
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:03,225
anyone can.
76
00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:07,317
Hey, Jocelyn.
77
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:09,014
- Hi, Johnny.
- Hi, Johnny.
78
00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:10,625
Thank you so much, Johnny,
79
00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:12,975
it just would've never occurred
to us to ask you.
80
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:15,064
Are you sure you're up for this?
81
00:03:15,107 --> 00:03:16,761
Oh, he'll be fine, honey,
82
00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:20,025
And if he does find himself
completely lost,
83
00:03:20,069 --> 00:03:21,810
and believe me, he will,
84
00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:23,899
he will have...
85
00:03:23,942 --> 00:03:25,814
the baby binder to hold
his hand.
86
00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:27,468
Right here, Johnny.
87
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:30,035
Okay, well, here goes nothing.
88
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:31,491
- Yeah.
- I don't know why, I'm just...
89
00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:33,343
I'm having a hard time
letting go.
90
00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:35,215
- I've got him.
I've got him, Jocelyn.
91
00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:36,698
- Oh, okay, okay.
- Well, I know why.
92
00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:38,498
It's because you don't trust
the guy, and believe me,
93
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,108
I don't either,
but we're in this now, so...
94
00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:42,091
try not think about it.
- Okay...
95
00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:44,267
Wow, Moira.
96
00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:47,139
Looking so elegant for
a night of babysitting.
97
00:03:47,183 --> 00:03:50,491
Just dressed to the nines
in choking hazards.
98
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:53,842
Sadly, Jocelyn, I won't be
here this evening to intercede.
99
00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:56,018
Oh wow, so it's just
gonna be Johnny,
100
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:58,020
alone with our precious
miracle baby?
101
00:03:58,063 --> 00:04:00,152
Uh... honey,
102
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:02,329
come on, we're gonna be late
for our massage.
103
00:04:02,372 --> 00:04:04,331
You know Ron and Linda
like to do those stretches
104
00:04:04,374 --> 00:04:07,159
before they get us
on the table, so...
105
00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:09,379
I'll be thinking about all
of you during my massage.
106
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,512
No, no need for that, Roland.
107
00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,775
Okay Johnny, just don't do
anything I wouldn't do.
108
00:04:13,818 --> 00:04:14,993
Love you!
109
00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:16,734
- What?
- Whoop! Whoop!
110
00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:19,781
Boop boop be boop!
111
00:04:28,616 --> 00:04:30,400
Wow. What are those?
112
00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:32,228
These are party shots.
113
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,622
- Hmm...
- You ever had one before?
114
00:04:34,665 --> 00:04:37,538
No, nope.
115
00:04:37,581 --> 00:04:39,191
Fine, once.
116
00:04:39,235 --> 00:04:41,324
Twice.
117
00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:42,847
Fine, I had a tray in Cancun.
118
00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:45,633
Okay, well they kinda go
with my overall theme
119
00:04:45,676 --> 00:04:48,418
of a good old-fashioned
high school slumber party, so.
120
00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:50,725
Mhmm, I still don't know why
you were so quick
121
00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:52,640
to dismiss my theme idea.
122
00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:54,250
Where is anybody gonna find
123
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,948
glass-blown Venetian masks
around here?
124
00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:58,143
Besides, people are kind
of excited
125
00:04:58,167 --> 00:05:00,387
about the high school idea.
126
00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:03,477
Okay. Walk me through
the high school idea.
127
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,914
Models and teen actors
are just gonna lounge around
128
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:07,829
in their bras and thongs,
129
00:05:07,872 --> 00:05:09,918
and take Polaroids
of themselves all night?
130
00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:12,355
What was your high school
experience like?
131
00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:14,096
What was yours like?
132
00:05:14,139 --> 00:05:15,943
Besides, where are we going
to find a salad bowl of E
133
00:05:15,967 --> 00:05:17,447
this last minute?
134
00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:20,145
You know, I think this
could be kind of a...
135
00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:22,713
a fun opportunity for you to
136
00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:24,324
Mhmm.
137
00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:25,736
It's just that my parents
have spent like,
138
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,327
an astounding amount
of money on therapy
139
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,154
to try to do that already.
140
00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:31,940
So forgive me for not wanting
to run back into the fire.
141
00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:34,508
What happened to you?
142
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,151
Nothing, really,
I just didn't like it.
143
00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,556
- Mm. Okay. Oh.
- Yeah.
144
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,712
You might have to make
more of those.
145
00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:47,477
- That's right.
- That's very nice.
146
00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:02,840
Honey, I'm home.
147
00:06:02,884 --> 00:06:05,321
Oh, shouldn't I be the one
saying that?
148
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,645
A little something to celebrate
149
00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:09,194
the end of the week.
150
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:11,632
- Yeah...
- Whoop!
151
00:06:11,675 --> 00:06:14,069
Uh, except it's Neuterpalooza
week at work,
152
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:15,810
and I still have two days
153
00:06:15,853 --> 00:06:17,464
of spaying and neutering
ahead of me.
154
00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:19,117
Oh, let's stop saying
"neutering",
155
00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:20,554
'cause it's killing my buzz!
156
00:06:20,597 --> 00:06:22,251
This is so silky.
157
00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:24,122
Yeah, it's my dad's housecoat
from storage.
158
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,864
I was thinking we could go
as Hef, r.i.p.,
159
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:28,562
and a Playboy Bunny.
160
00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:30,955
Isn't the theme high school
slumber party?
161
00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:32,914
It is.
162
00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:34,457
My best friend, Summer, used
to date Hef in high school,
163
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:35,545
which isn't as weird
as it sounds,
164
00:06:35,569 --> 00:06:38,485
'cause he was like,
a very young 77.
165
00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:40,791
Uh okay, don't be mad, but...
166
00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:42,532
Ted, no!
167
00:06:42,576 --> 00:06:43,901
I have to perform surgery
on people's pets like,
168
00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:45,317
first thing in the morning.
169
00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:47,102
Why'd you have to pick
this weekend?
170
00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:48,253
You know how much I always
look forward
171
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:49,887
to Patrick's house parties.
172
00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:52,324
Isn't this his first one?
173
00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:53,587
Okay, fine.
174
00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:56,328
I guess I'll just finish
my drink, and...
175
00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:58,200
wander over there
dressed like this,
176
00:06:58,243 --> 00:07:00,463
and see what happens.
177
00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,770
Well, I mean,
178
00:07:02,813 --> 00:07:05,816
maybe you don't need
to leave just yet.
179
00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:09,124
Snip, snip, Mr. Mullens!
180
00:07:10,778 --> 00:07:13,955
I was just hoping you could
make an exception.
181
00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:15,435
Let loose for one night.
182
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:17,219
Next time. I promise.
183
00:07:19,833 --> 00:07:21,832
Well, I'm off.
184
00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:23,704
All right, have fun, sweetheart.
185
00:07:23,747 --> 00:07:25,967
You realize the bebe is crying.
186
00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:27,664
I do, yes.
187
00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:29,492
Isn't it scheduled to be
dormant by now?
188
00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,233
I'll figure it out, Moira.
189
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:33,104
- You have the binder.
- Yes.
190
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:35,542
- Yes.
- Ooh!
191
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:37,631
I think I just found the issue.
192
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:39,371
It might be in the diaper.
193
00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:42,200
- Oh, it was the bebe.
I'm so relieved!
194
00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:44,028
Yeah, I think they left
extra diapers.
195
00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:45,465
They assumed we'd take
care of it.
196
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,249
You wanna grab
the rubber gloves?
197
00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:49,251
They're Tom Ford, John, no!
198
00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:50,600
And they wouldn't fit you
anyway.
199
00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:52,428
The cleaning gloves
under the sink!
200
00:07:52,453 --> 00:07:54,719
Oh! Yes.
201
00:08:00,602 --> 00:08:02,386
And, there.
202
00:08:02,411 --> 00:08:03,934
Oh, it looks like Jocelyn's
203
00:08:03,959 --> 00:08:06,179
left you some nice chapter tabs.
204
00:08:07,496 --> 00:08:09,933
Uh, it's saying here
that you should...
205
00:08:09,977 --> 00:08:13,284
wipe counter-clockwise
direction, ah...
206
00:08:14,546 --> 00:08:17,071
flip it, if you can flip it.
207
00:08:17,114 --> 00:08:19,769
- The baby?
- It doesn't say.
208
00:08:19,812 --> 00:08:22,163
- Honestly, Moira, just go!
I'll be fine.
209
00:08:22,206 --> 00:08:24,382
I'm not sure you will be, John.
210
00:08:24,426 --> 00:08:27,124
It's not like the old days when
we could just call Adelina,
211
00:08:27,168 --> 00:08:29,735
and have her rush home from
her daughter's wedding.
212
00:08:29,779 --> 00:08:31,302
You're gonna miss
your screening.
213
00:08:31,346 --> 00:08:33,304
I'll go after the first
commercial break.
214
00:08:33,348 --> 00:08:34,958
That's when the action
happens anyway,
215
00:08:35,002 --> 00:08:36,786
when my cousin and I begin
216
00:08:36,829 --> 00:08:38,701
our backpack through Lebanon.
217
00:08:38,744 --> 00:08:40,877
What else does the binder say?
218
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,270
Oh my God, John!
219
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:45,316
Don't forget to wash its hands!
220
00:08:45,672 --> 00:08:47,717
Okay.
221
00:08:48,841 --> 00:08:50,887
Okay, my turn. Ahem!
222
00:08:52,758 --> 00:08:55,326
Hmm, never have I ever
pretended to be
223
00:08:55,370 --> 00:08:57,763
a pizza delivery person
so I could get
224
00:08:57,807 --> 00:09:00,418
into Jared Leto's
Halloween party.
225
00:09:00,462 --> 00:09:02,072
You're a bitch.
226
00:09:02,116 --> 00:09:04,988
My mom was engaged to two
pizza delivery guys.
227
00:09:05,032 --> 00:09:07,599
Can that count?
'Cause I am really thirsty.
228
00:09:07,643 --> 00:09:09,471
Stevie!
229
00:09:09,514 --> 00:09:10,514
Uh, um...
230
00:09:13,518 --> 00:09:15,216
Never have I ever...
231
00:09:19,046 --> 00:09:20,327
Sorry, I'm just trying
to think of something
232
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:22,310
I haven't done.
- Okay.
233
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,201
How long did you envision
this game going on for?
234
00:09:24,225 --> 00:09:26,227
Because never have I ever
been so bored.
235
00:09:26,270 --> 00:09:28,446
Aw, I'm sorry, David,
when I suggested the game,
236
00:09:28,490 --> 00:09:30,883
I didn't expect that you'd be
drinking quite so much.
237
00:09:30,927 --> 00:09:32,320
Eating out of the garbage?
238
00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,278
Okay, I did that in front
of you last night.
239
00:09:34,322 --> 00:09:37,107
Now, as a participant, if we
don't change the game soon,
240
00:09:37,151 --> 00:09:39,196
I'm gonna get very drunk.
- Oh.
241
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:40,981
Yep?
242
00:09:42,547 --> 00:09:44,636
- Hey!
- Oh! There he is! Yay!
243
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:46,725
God, what are you doing here?
244
00:09:46,769 --> 00:09:48,423
Hey, sweetie.
245
00:09:48,466 --> 00:09:49,878
You were right,
we deserve a night out.
246
00:09:49,902 --> 00:09:51,817
So, I just pushed all
my morning appointments.
247
00:09:51,861 --> 00:09:53,558
Which will be fine, I guess,
248
00:09:53,602 --> 00:09:55,536
it just means that I'll be
staying up 'til 1:00 A.M.
249
00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:57,910
on a Saturday, spaying
with a pretty shaky hand.
250
00:09:57,954 --> 00:09:59,845
- Mm, that's so cute.
What can I get you to drink?
251
00:09:59,869 --> 00:10:01,479
Oh no, don't worry about that.
252
00:10:01,523 --> 00:10:03,153
After you used all of my booze
for your punch,
253
00:10:03,177 --> 00:10:05,092
the only alcohol left
in my fridge
254
00:10:05,135 --> 00:10:07,703
was a few of your rum,
raspberry, coconut coolers.
255
00:10:07,746 --> 00:10:09,748
So I polished them off, and...
256
00:10:09,792 --> 00:10:11,335
it tasted like burnt plastic,
and I regretted it instantly.
257
00:10:11,359 --> 00:10:12,751
Hi, Ted!
258
00:10:12,795 --> 00:10:14,362
Only you would wear
a little robe,
259
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:17,408
and little slippers to a high
school slumber party.
260
00:10:17,452 --> 00:10:19,169
Oh, no, no, no. This is just
so that I didn't get cold
261
00:10:19,193 --> 00:10:20,803
on the way over.
262
00:10:20,846 --> 00:10:22,587
All right!
263
00:10:22,631 --> 00:10:24,328
What is the game,
because I'm up!
264
00:10:24,372 --> 00:10:25,982
Ohh! Wow.
265
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:26,983
- Oh!
- Okay...
266
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:29,159
Twyla!
267
00:10:29,203 --> 00:10:31,161
I'm not sure if it's just
the punch, but...
268
00:10:31,205 --> 00:10:33,555
he could get it!
269
00:10:33,598 --> 00:10:35,992
Stevie, that's disgu
270
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:37,950
Ted, can I get you a party shot?
271
00:10:37,994 --> 00:10:39,909
- Cool!
- Okay.
272
00:10:39,952 --> 00:10:41,867
- David?
- Wow.
273
00:10:41,911 --> 00:10:43,304
- Yeah.
- We have orange...
274
00:10:43,347 --> 00:10:45,567
- I'll take that.
- Yellow...
275
00:10:56,665 --> 00:10:59,059
Hey! Do you wanna put
Emir away for a hot sec,
276
00:10:59,102 --> 00:11:01,931
so this game can keep going,
and the party can end soon?
277
00:11:01,974 --> 00:11:03,648
Oh, I'm good. I don't wanna
kiss anyone here.
278
00:11:03,672 --> 00:11:05,152
My sister's sitting
in the circle,
279
00:11:05,195 --> 00:11:06,718
You think I'm dying to play?
280
00:11:06,762 --> 00:11:08,068
Thank you very much.
281
00:11:16,293 --> 00:11:18,426
Ohh!
282
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:19,905
Oh!
283
00:11:22,169 --> 00:11:24,040
Okay!
284
00:11:26,651 --> 00:11:28,436
Babe, did you rig this?
285
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:31,439
Maybe I did, and maybe I did!
286
00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,049
Ooh!
287
00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:35,530
Okay, go crazy, babe.
- Mhmm.
288
00:11:35,573 --> 00:11:37,445
All right, who's the lucky lady?
289
00:11:39,751 --> 00:11:43,190
- That's offensive.
- Okay, anyway, re-spin!
290
00:11:43,233 --> 00:11:45,105
Yeah, it actually looks
like it sorta landed
291
00:11:45,148 --> 00:11:46,715
between two people.
- No, no, no, no!
292
00:11:46,758 --> 00:11:48,064
I know exactly who it landed on.
293
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:49,500
Oh, Ted! That's not okay.
294
00:11:49,544 --> 00:11:51,241
Man, come here, big guy!
295
00:11:51,285 --> 00:11:52,460
Mmmph!
296
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,114
Muah!
297
00:11:54,157 --> 00:11:56,638
Oh my fucken God.
298
00:11:58,466 --> 00:12:00,337
It looks like the punch
needs a refill.
299
00:12:00,381 --> 00:12:02,209
Oh hey, I could use
a refill too, big guy.
300
00:12:02,252 --> 00:12:04,056
Okay, I don't know where
"big guy" is coming from,
301
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:05,821
but it needs to stop.
302
00:12:05,864 --> 00:12:09,694
Um, I don't know about you,
but I smell drama.
303
00:12:09,738 --> 00:12:11,827
Okay, my turn!
304
00:12:11,870 --> 00:12:14,003
You know
Helen, despite everything...
305
00:12:14,046 --> 00:12:15,744
Oh, if it weren't
for Joyce Dewitt
306
00:12:15,787 --> 00:12:17,920
insisting on wearing
those pigtails,
307
00:12:17,963 --> 00:12:21,053
this movie could've been a hit!
308
00:12:21,097 --> 00:12:22,968
We're supposed to be
astrophysicists,
309
00:12:23,012 --> 00:12:24,144
it just takes you out of it.
310
00:12:24,187 --> 00:12:27,625
And yet, she,
she gets the close up!
311
00:12:27,669 --> 00:12:30,193
- Well, that was shocking.
- I know, right?
312
00:12:30,237 --> 00:12:32,195
And I get the aerial shot
for my love scene.
313
00:12:32,239 --> 00:12:34,197
No, no, I'm talking
about the kid.
314
00:12:34,241 --> 00:12:35,938
To think this little
thing could...
315
00:12:35,981 --> 00:12:38,419
create so much destruction.
316
00:12:38,462 --> 00:12:40,986
Oh, you've completed
the diaper substitution.
317
00:12:41,030 --> 00:12:44,207
Aren't you the Sephardic
Mr. Clean!
318
00:12:44,251 --> 00:12:48,429
Well, I did the kid,
but I'm not doing the bathroom.
319
00:12:48,472 --> 00:12:50,233
It appears you may need
a change yourself, Mr. Rose.
320
00:12:50,257 --> 00:12:52,389
What is that on your shoulder?
321
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,537
Oh Moira, he spit up on me.
322
00:12:57,185 --> 00:12:59,013
And he's spit up in the playpen!
323
00:12:59,056 --> 00:13:02,233
Ew! That cannot be good, John!
324
00:13:02,277 --> 00:13:05,280
Its body is ejecting things,
what did you do to it?!
325
00:13:05,323 --> 00:13:08,239
Nothing! I-I changed
his diaper, that's all.
326
00:13:08,283 --> 00:13:10,633
Well, perhaps you've swaddled
its abdomen too tightly,
327
00:13:10,677 --> 00:13:13,331
Or maybe it's allergic
to something.
328
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:15,464
John, did you feed it shellfish?
329
00:13:15,507 --> 00:13:17,292
What did you do?!
330
00:13:17,335 --> 00:13:19,487
I've gotta wipe him up,
and change his clothes again.
331
00:13:19,511 --> 00:13:22,123
For all we know, it's got
crawling pneumonia.
332
00:13:22,166 --> 00:13:24,647
Oh, he doesn't have
crawling pneumonia, Moira!
333
00:13:24,691 --> 00:13:26,214
I don't want to say
I told you so,
334
00:13:26,257 --> 00:13:27,955
but this is an infelicitous
burden.
335
00:13:27,998 --> 00:13:29,826
I could be at Ronnie's
right now,
336
00:13:29,870 --> 00:13:32,002
preparing for the
post-screening Q&A.
337
00:13:32,046 --> 00:13:34,091
Well then, go to Ronnie's!
338
00:13:34,135 --> 00:13:36,703
Because I've gotta get him
a change of clothes.
339
00:13:36,746 --> 00:13:38,530
Well, at least put
the gloves back on.
340
00:13:41,055 --> 00:13:42,534
John, it says right here,
341
00:13:42,578 --> 00:13:46,451
spitting up is normal.
342
00:13:46,495 --> 00:13:49,672
Jocelyn's written,
"Spit happens."
343
00:13:49,716 --> 00:13:51,674
Very clever.
344
00:13:51,718 --> 00:13:53,720
For Jocelyn.
345
00:13:58,072 --> 00:13:59,551
Oh my God, they just
need to chill.
346
00:13:59,595 --> 00:14:01,031
Okay, I'm done.
347
00:14:01,075 --> 00:14:02,598
Who chose this theme, anyway?
348
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,861
It was a mistake.
349
00:14:04,905 --> 00:14:07,255
What are you guys
doing over here?
350
00:14:07,298 --> 00:14:09,146
You remind me of me
at a high school house party
351
00:14:09,170 --> 00:14:10,843
judging all the attractive
and popular kids
352
00:14:10,867 --> 00:14:12,826
for being attractive
and popular.
353
00:14:12,869 --> 00:14:14,499
David, do you have anything
you wanna say
354
00:14:14,523 --> 00:14:15,805
to me and Patrick?
- Actually, yes.
355
00:14:15,829 --> 00:14:18,962
Now, as an attractive
and popular kid
356
00:14:19,006 --> 00:14:21,182
at a house party,
I can confidently say,
357
00:14:21,225 --> 00:14:23,750
it's very fun.
- That's it?
358
00:14:23,793 --> 00:14:25,577
That's all you have to say?
359
00:14:25,621 --> 00:14:26,927
What's going on here?
360
00:14:26,970 --> 00:14:28,711
Mm, things got effed,
361
00:14:28,755 --> 00:14:30,757
and we're not having
fun anymore.
362
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,150
For what it's worth,
I'm having a great time.
363
00:14:33,194 --> 00:14:34,717
You're like a tsetse fly.
364
00:14:34,761 --> 00:14:36,501
Where's your cell phone
boyfriend?
365
00:14:36,545 --> 00:14:38,721
- On my cell phone.
- Okay.
366
00:14:38,765 --> 00:14:40,070
You're not having fun?
367
00:14:40,114 --> 00:14:42,769
I don't know David, sure.
368
00:14:42,812 --> 00:14:44,684
What exactly did I do
wrong here?
369
00:14:44,727 --> 00:14:46,642
Oh, I don't know. David,
370
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,600
mmm, was it the time
you kissed my boyfriend?
371
00:14:48,644 --> 00:14:52,082
Or... was it the time
you kissed my boyfriend?
372
00:14:52,126 --> 00:14:53,581
I think it was the time
you kissed her boyfriend.
373
00:14:53,605 --> 00:14:56,086
Okay, he kissed me!
374
00:14:56,130 --> 00:14:57,827
And I was just told
to have some fun.
375
00:14:57,871 --> 00:14:59,829
So I played the game.
376
00:14:59,873 --> 00:15:01,701
I'm sorry that the bottle
landed on me.
377
00:15:01,744 --> 00:15:03,504
Hm, technically it landed
between you and Stevie, so.
378
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:05,356
Yeah.
379
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:06,769
Okay, so you're upset
about this as well, then?
380
00:15:06,793 --> 00:15:08,098
- Looks like it.
- No, I'm not!
381
00:15:08,142 --> 00:15:10,013
I'm not upset.
I just, I guess I wonder
382
00:15:10,057 --> 00:15:12,494
how you would react
if the tables were turned.
383
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:13,906
Yeah David, like,
what would you do
384
00:15:13,930 --> 00:15:16,063
if Patrick and I suddenly
kissed at a party?
385
00:15:16,106 --> 00:15:17,629
- Yeah.
- Or Patrick and me.
386
00:15:17,673 --> 00:15:19,719
Okay, we're done with you.
387
00:15:19,762 --> 00:15:21,198
It was spin the bottle!
388
00:15:21,242 --> 00:15:23,984
If Patrick was wasted,
and spun the bottle,
389
00:15:24,027 --> 00:15:26,073
and it landed on you,
and you guys kissed,
390
00:15:26,116 --> 00:15:28,728
I wouldn't care.
- You're lying, David.
391
00:15:28,771 --> 00:15:30,140
Okay, is that
what needs to happen
392
00:15:30,164 --> 00:15:32,557
to clear the air here?
You guys need to kiss?
393
00:15:32,601 --> 00:15:33,970
- David, let's not be dramatic.
- Yeah, maybe it does.
394
00:15:33,994 --> 00:15:35,604
- What?
- Well, by all means.
395
00:15:35,647 --> 00:15:37,538
I think it's actually more
the principle of the thing...
396
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:38,955
- Okay, here we go.
- Hmm!
397
00:15:42,959 --> 00:15:44,787
Is that really...
398
00:15:44,831 --> 00:15:47,964
Uh huh.
399
00:15:48,008 --> 00:15:50,140
Mmm! Mmmm!
400
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:54,536
Mmmmmmmm!
401
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:56,973
Yum. That was fun.
402
00:15:57,017 --> 00:15:59,236
Hey, are we spinning
more bottles?
403
00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:00,803
Uh, was that fun for you guys?
404
00:16:00,847 --> 00:16:03,893
That like, satisfying?
- I was never not okay. So.
405
00:16:03,937 --> 00:16:06,548
It was really good for me.
406
00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:07,854
I say we play truth or dare.
407
00:16:07,897 --> 00:16:09,464
Oh Stevie, I'm in!
408
00:16:09,507 --> 00:16:11,683
Oh no, Ted.
409
00:16:11,727 --> 00:16:12,684
Get your housecoat
and your other slipper.
410
00:16:12,728 --> 00:16:15,470
It is time to go.
411
00:16:15,513 --> 00:16:17,341
- You got it, big guy.
- Okay.
412
00:16:17,385 --> 00:16:19,474
Okay. Sorry. I'm sorry.
413
00:16:19,517 --> 00:16:21,128
Good game!
414
00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:26,046
Look at him.
415
00:16:26,089 --> 00:16:29,789
Awful peaceful when
he's sleeping.
416
00:16:33,488 --> 00:16:36,056
Well, we did it, sweetheart.
417
00:16:36,099 --> 00:16:38,754
And, uh...
418
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:41,061
what do you think
we've learned here today?
419
00:16:41,104 --> 00:16:44,455
That Adelina was grossly
underpaid.
420
00:16:44,499 --> 00:16:47,502
No, I mean,
we could've been good,
421
00:16:47,545 --> 00:16:49,721
hands-on parents
if we wanted to.
422
00:16:49,765 --> 00:16:51,462
We've got it in us.
423
00:16:51,506 --> 00:16:53,595
That was never
in question, John.
424
00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,771
I'm even more convinced
that our hands-off approach
425
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:57,555
served them better.
426
00:16:57,599 --> 00:17:00,602
I'll go,
but not without my cousin!
427
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,778
That had its moments.
428
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:05,694
When it shone,
it shone brightly.
429
00:17:05,737 --> 00:17:07,870
And I have to hand it to DeWitt.
430
00:17:07,914 --> 00:17:10,960
She had a real breakthrough
during the denouement.
431
00:17:11,004 --> 00:17:13,658
I believe she believed
we were cousins.
432
00:17:16,313 --> 00:17:18,185
John?
433
00:17:27,020 --> 00:17:28,848
- Oh, hello!
- Shh! Shh! Shh!
434
00:17:28,891 --> 00:17:31,111
- Greet... what?!
- Shh!
435
00:17:31,154 --> 00:17:33,243
- What?
- I just put him down!
436
00:17:33,287 --> 00:17:35,898
Oh my gosh, you got little
Roland Jr. to sleep?
437
00:17:35,942 --> 00:17:37,049
Oh no, I'm talking about John.
438
00:17:37,073 --> 00:17:38,640
Oh.
439
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:40,487
No, Roland's been asleep
for quite some time.
440
00:17:40,511 --> 00:17:42,731
- And everything was fine?
No major problems?
441
00:17:42,774 --> 00:17:46,126
He is a slice of meringue,
Jocelyn.
442
00:17:46,169 --> 00:17:48,650
You know, I don't know if uh...
443
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:51,131
I'm just all zen'd out
from an hour and a half
444
00:17:51,174 --> 00:17:53,742
of Linda's magic fingers on me,
445
00:17:53,785 --> 00:17:55,502
but I can actually see myself
leaving Roland Jr.
446
00:17:55,526 --> 00:17:57,964
With you people more often.
447
00:17:58,007 --> 00:18:00,488
Ah!
448
00:18:00,531 --> 00:18:02,161
Well, that something Linda
might want to massage
449
00:18:02,185 --> 00:18:04,579
right out of your mind,
the next appointment.
450
00:18:04,622 --> 00:18:06,059
I actually have Ron
the next time,
451
00:18:06,102 --> 00:18:09,932
we like to mix it up
a little bit.
452
00:18:09,976 --> 00:18:11,518
And with that, I believe
your little inchling
453
00:18:11,542 --> 00:18:14,415
is out past its curfew.
454
00:18:14,458 --> 00:18:16,001
Oh, you get the binger,
I'll get the baby.
455
00:18:16,025 --> 00:18:18,941
Okay.
456
00:18:18,985 --> 00:18:20,812
Ohh, jeez.
457
00:18:20,856 --> 00:18:22,814
Look at him.
458
00:18:22,858 --> 00:18:25,258
You know, I almost think I like
him better asleep than awake.
459
00:18:31,171 --> 00:18:34,565
He's on my side.
460
00:18:34,609 --> 00:18:35,740
Bye bye.
461
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,614
What?
462
00:18:39,657 --> 00:18:41,572
Oh, shh!
463
00:18:51,204 --> 00:18:52,785
Ahem! I'm just gonna take
the garbage out.
464
00:18:52,885 --> 00:18:54,212
Okay.
465
00:18:54,237 --> 00:18:55,586
Yeah, and if I don't come back,
466
00:18:55,611 --> 00:18:57,787
it's probably because
I've run off with Ted.
467
00:18:58,474 --> 00:18:59,534
Thanks for the heads up.
468
00:18:59,577 --> 00:19:00,883
We're just gonna go for a ride,
469
00:19:00,927 --> 00:19:02,406
see where it takes us.
470
00:19:02,450 --> 00:19:04,539
Maybe start a vet clinic
somewhere along the way.
471
00:19:04,582 --> 00:19:06,758
He'll the animals back
to heath, I'll...
472
00:19:06,802 --> 00:19:08,630
offer grooming services.
473
00:19:08,673 --> 00:19:10,023
Okay, you know what?
474
00:19:12,447 --> 00:19:15,058
Maybe I overreacted
for a second.
475
00:19:15,376 --> 00:19:17,639
I was just talking to Alexis,
476
00:19:17,682 --> 00:19:19,138
and we sorta wound
each other worked up.
477
00:19:19,162 --> 00:19:20,879
Abd Stevie didn't help.
- Stevie never helps.
478
00:19:20,903 --> 00:19:23,427
So I didn't love seeing
my boyfriend
479
00:19:23,471 --> 00:19:25,865
kissing some other guy.
480
00:19:25,908 --> 00:19:28,868
I'm sorry, are you saying
you were jealous?
481
00:19:28,911 --> 00:19:31,000
David, I'm not playing
this game with you.
482
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:32,654
No, you just said
you didn't like
483
00:19:32,697 --> 00:19:34,743
seeing your boyfriend
kissing another guy.
484
00:19:34,786 --> 00:19:36,658
- Okay, fine.
He's a handsome guy.
485
00:19:36,701 --> 00:19:38,051
I might've been a little
jealous.
486
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,419
So, you think
he's handsome then?
487
00:19:39,443 --> 00:19:41,881
- What?
He's like-he goes to the gym.
488
00:19:41,924 --> 00:19:43,883
- Goes to the gym?
- Oh my God.
489
00:19:43,926 --> 00:19:46,320
Wow, okay, so when you
said you were jealous,
490
00:19:46,363 --> 00:19:48,539
were you saying you were
jealous of him,
491
00:19:48,583 --> 00:19:50,411
or jealous of me?
492
00:19:50,454 --> 00:19:53,501
Because I thought you were
saying you were jealous of him.
493
00:19:53,544 --> 00:19:55,024
Both?
494
00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:56,504
Not the answer
I was looking for.
495
00:19:56,547 --> 00:19:58,854
Hey.
496
00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:00,334
Mhmm?
497
00:20:00,377 --> 00:20:01,572
I wonder what would've happened
498
00:20:01,596 --> 00:20:04,251
if we had met in high school.
- Hmm.
499
00:20:04,294 --> 00:20:07,341
Well, unless you were
into candy ravers
500
00:20:07,384 --> 00:20:09,082
with asymmetrical haircuts
501
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:11,084
and a lot of pacifier necklaces,
502
00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:12,847
I think our paths crossed
at the right time.
503
00:20:17,829 --> 00:20:18,961
How jealous, though?
504
00:20:19,005 --> 00:20:20,963
Why don't you take out
the garbage?
505
00:20:21,007 --> 00:20:22,965
- How jealous were you?
- Nope!
506
00:20:23,009 --> 00:20:25,141
Scale of one to ten.
507
00:20:25,185 --> 00:20:27,839
Like, enraged, or...
- Bye, bye.
508
00:20:27,883 --> 00:20:29,102
Like fuming, did you sweat?
509
00:20:32,243 --> 00:20:34,724
- That was fun.
- Yep.
510
00:20:34,846 --> 00:20:36,500
- That was really fun.
Did you have fun?
511
00:20:36,544 --> 00:20:38,067
Yes.
512
00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:40,504
- Did everyone had fun?
- Yes, Ted.
513
00:20:40,548 --> 00:20:43,725
That's good, it's good
that everyone had fun.
514
00:20:43,768 --> 00:20:45,224
Okay, you still have
your slippers on,
515
00:20:45,248 --> 00:20:46,834
Yeah, I know, sometimes
my feet get really cold
516
00:20:46,858 --> 00:20:49,209
when I drink too much.
- It's not a thing.
517
00:20:49,252 --> 00:20:51,211
- Okay, well, gimme a kiss.
- No!
518
00:20:51,254 --> 00:20:53,169
You kissed my brother tonight,
519
00:20:53,213 --> 00:20:55,128
I'm not kissing you after
you kissed my brother.
520
00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:58,000
Pffft! Who kissed
your brother?
521
00:20:58,044 --> 00:21:00,872
Okay, it's time for
"Fun Ted" to just pass out.
522
00:21:00,916 --> 00:21:03,179
- No, he's not even tired.
In fact, if anything,
523
00:21:03,223 --> 00:21:05,790
I'd say he's only
becoming more fun.
524
00:21:05,834 --> 00:21:07,444
Okay. Okay! Okay! Okay!
525
00:21:07,488 --> 00:21:11,231
I think we should just like,
sleep it off.
526
00:21:11,274 --> 00:21:13,407
Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah.
527
00:21:13,450 --> 00:21:15,496
But first just give
your brother a kiss.
528
00:21:15,539 --> 00:21:16,888
- Ew, Ted, Ew!
- Come on.
529
00:21:16,932 --> 00:21:19,674
Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!
530
00:21:19,717 --> 00:21:22,068
Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! That's you.
38176
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