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โ Previously on "Good Girls"...
โ Electrical companies, plumbing, construction,
the shell companies build whatever projects
GangโFairy Godfather could get approved.
โ Which is why he needs you in that seat.
โ So all your projects and whatever,
they're all above board.
[soft dramatic music]
โ Wow, this is, like, kind of amazing.
โ So is he. I'm really happy for you.
โ Oh, it's not like that.
โช
โ You got another zit?
โช
โ Beth's not the only one that's going down.
My wife's in it too. โ The more the merrier.
โ You can't give that stuff to the DA.
โ Vance, what are you guys waiting for?
โ Ask your friend.
โ I just need you to answer something.
How do you make it through your day being such a moron?
โช
[sciโfi explosions play on television]
โ All right, turn it off. โ No.
[person screams on television]
โ Your guy died.
โ I'm not going.
โ What do you mean? โ I told him he could skip.
โ Why?
โ It's a special day.
โ Yeah, he has a math test. โ It's his half birthday.
[explosion plays on television]
โ You got pwned!
โ I just wish you'd ask me first
before you make any promises.
โ Can you cut those a little smaller?
[sciโfi explosions play on television]
โ You know, no other parents celebrate half birthdays.
โ Do I get a present?
โ No. โ Sure.
โ I'll text you guys my list.
โ Just get him half a present.
[phone chimes]
[phones chiming]
โ Here.
โ Who's Vanessa? โ Just take it.
โ I asked for almond milk. โ They were out.
โ So what is this?
โ Milk.
โ I'm lactose intolerant.
โ Don't be such a woman.
[Lisa Loeb's "I Do"]
โช
โ โช You can't hear it, but I do โช
โช
โช You can't hear it, but I do โช
[electronics beeping]
โ Excuse me. Can I download my own ringtone?
My grandson plays clarinet andโโ
excuse me, sir.
โ Vance Madison.
Employee ID number 53802. Thank you.
Yeah, I need to track a stolen phone.
Boland, Elizabeth.
โ It kind of burns.
โ That's how you know it's working.
See?
โ Ow. โ Oops.
โ Okay, that's enough.
Go get ready for school.
โ It's supposed to remove age spots.
[knock at door]
โ Who got you into this?
โ [sighs]
โ Hey, Ruby.
โ Here you go.
What's up, man?
โ Well, I need you to do something for me.
โ Name it.
Share, brother.
โ [sighs]
โ I didn't know what else to do.
โ You could have told me.
โ They were gonna take Ruby down too, Dean.
โ I've known you for 30 years.
โ I'm not the bad guy here, man.
โ They're all I got.
โ Oh, let's do it in the bathtub next.
โ Mm, that never works. โ Why not?
โ Unless you have, like, one of those super fancy tubs,
It's like you're in a bobsled.
โ No, but we'd be facing each other.
โ Then we're, like, in weird rowboat sitch
where everyone's freezing.
โ Fine, okay.
What about...the closet?
โ It's kind of limited.
โ I like a challenge.
โ โช I need a sign
[Train's "Calling All Angels"]
โ Sorry, it must be on shuffle.
โ Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is a banger.
โ โช Over the atmosphere
โช I need to know
โ It's Train.
โ Whatever, I know. They are easy to hate on.
โ I love everything about them. Which closet?
โ Broom. โ Hot.
โ โช When there is no safe place to put my head โช
โ [chuckles]
โ You know, I never thought
that I'd date someone
who loves Train as much as me.
โ โช And I'm โ Are we?
โ โช Calling all angels โ What?
โ Dating?
โช
โ โช And I'm โ Aren't we?
โ Uh, I mean, uh, maybe.
โ โช All you angels
โ [sighs] Um, what do you wanna call it?
โช
โ Why do we have to call it anything?
โ Because we've been doing the other "it" now
for, like, three days straight, so I'm just kind of curious.
โ โช 'Cause my TV set just keeps it all โช
โช From being clear
โ I don't know.
โ Really?
[sighs]
โ Come on.
Isn't this something that we could settle
in the broom closet?
โ No, I'm kind of tired. โ Hey, come on.
โ โช All angels
โ My junk needs to recharge.
โ But... โ โช So they don't disappear
โช While private eyes solve marriage lies โช
โ The song isn't even done yet.
โ โช 'Cause we don't talk for years โช
โ Your supporters are highly loyal
with 60% being completely or very certain
of their choice.
Hispanic support with some college
to college grad is also solid,
with an overwhelming majority in strong favor
of your "clean up the streets" message.
Polls also show 83% of voters want a visionary
as opposed to a politician.
โ Is that part good? โ Are you a politician?
โ [chuckles] No.
โ Then it's not bad. โ Okay.
โ And women like you in red.
โ Thank you, Scott.
โ Seriously?
โ It's a power color. โ I hate red.
โ You gotta play by the rules. โ Why?
โ 'Cause then we get to do things our way.
Urban garden, basketball courts, ice arena,
nature trails all over.
Olympicโsized swimming pool. Cafรฉ, lounge, amphitheater.
โ Money laundering, bribery,
extortion all wrapped up
in your friendly neighborhood rec center.
โ Okay. โ Okay.
โ That's it?
โ What more did you want?
โ Need a warrant. โ Great, get one.
โ We need someone to sign off on that.
โ Can you do that? โ And you can't do that.
โ No, need access to a judge... โ Need my old job back.
โ To even get access. โ My hands are tied.
โ We're on vacation.
โ What are you gonna do?
โ Not us. โ How would we get it?
โ Isn't that what you guys do?
โ Sorry, are asking us to break the law?
โ Does that make you uncomfortable?
โ Consider it a favor.
โ But the clock's ticking because we used miles
for our room, and they're almost gone.
โ Then we're even.
[Cyril Cyril's "Al Boustan"]
โช
โ [singing in Arabic]
โช
โ Time.
โ 5 minutes, 40 seconds.
โ I can do better.
โ I love that she needs the whole look
to get into character.
โ Okay, what about dinner Thursday?
โ Won't it be weird?
โ Stan loves Deansie.
โ Not the problem.
โ It'll make you guys better. โ Or it'll make us worse.
โ We'll just talk about their stupid skincare business.
โ How's that gonna help?
โ When was the last time we all got boozed up
and it didn't end in a hug fest?
โ When was the last time we got all boozed up?
โ Exactly.
โ Time.
โ It was faster.
โ You didn't even time it, did you?
โ How are we gonna even get into the building?
โ Why don't we just go during the day?
โ Because he'll be there.
โ So distract him. โ How?
โ You know how. โ No, I don't.
โ Why did Watergate fail?
โ 'Cause they got caught.
โ 'Cause they were men.
โ She means use your hooโha. โ Just stop.
โ Worked with the wire.
โ You use your hooโha.
โ I'm just saying,
take the Brousin to lunch or something.
โ I thought we agreed on "GangโFairy Godfather."
โ "Brousin" makes more sense.
โ I'm not doing anything with the Brousin.
โ Why not?
โ Because then he'll know it's me.
โ Okay, you guys, we obviously go at night.
โ What about the security guard?
โ We'll use my hooโha.
โ Can I help you?
โ May I use your bathroom?
[knock at window]
[louder knock at window]
โ Okay, so...
โ What took you so long? โ I actually had to pee.
โ I'm, like, covered in thorns. โ Okay, here we go.
[grunts]
โ The penguin is in the igloo. โ Huh?
โ The horse is in the barn.
โ Then where's the security guard?
โ He's still at his desk.
โ Can you just say that from now on?
โ 10โ4.
โ Bye. โ Over and out.
โ Ugh.
โ Just trying to make it fun.
โ Give me the L15. Wait, the L16.
โ They don't have names on them.
โ The crocodile teeth ones.
โ They all have teeth. โ Oh, my God.
Crocodile, you amateur.
[door clicks]
โ Where is he? โ [whispering] What's his 20?
โ Huh? โ Where is he?
โ Uh, he's eating a Kit Kat. โ But we heard a door.
โ Yeah, he's got a whole stash in the closet.
โ He was just getting a snack.
โ Okay, well, hurry up. โ Come on, come on.
[chuckles] Bada bing!
Bada boom! โ Okay.
What's going on? โ It won't open.
Look, it's unlocked.
โ Oh, my God. โ What?
โ Do you have a tool for one of those?
โ Oh.
That is a whole different set of YouTube videos.
โ Okay.
Maybe his assistant has, like, a spare or something.
โ Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, he's kind of cute.
โ Got it. โ Sick.
โ He has a card for everything.
โ Talk to me, baby.
โ We okay?
โ He's on the move. You got this.
โ Come on, ladies, give me a sign.
Well?
โ I tore my jeans on the way back out the window.
โ No. โ Yeah, my favorite pair.
โ Where we at?
You guys want in on this?
โ What are we gonna do?
โ 10% off at Chili's.
โ I could do a marg.
โ Hill, you up?
โ Nope.
โ Guess where I went.
โ You smell like a cantina. โ I only had one.
โ I didn't ask how many. โ Fine. Three.
[chuckles]
โ All right, where did you go?
โ When's the last time you had Southwestern egg rolls?
โ I bought some from Kroger's last week.
โ No, at Chili's.
โ I don't know, Ruby.
โ Remember that time someone pulled the fire alarm
and we all had to go outside?
โ And we sat at the wrong booth when they let us back in.
โ You got halfway through that guy's black bean burger
before you even realized.
โ Yeah, we were pretty bombed.
โ We haven't had fun like that in forever.
โ We need more like it.
โ How about Thursday?
โ They still got that Texas lemonade?
โ They do. โ In.
โ So are the Bolands.
โ What do you mean?
โ We all used to have fun together.
โ Babe, I'm not going to Chili's
with no damn Bolands.
โ Fine.
โ Good.
โ They can come here.
โ What is wrong with you?
โ What is wrong with you? โ I don't want a situation.
โ It's just dinner. โ It's gonna be weird.
โ Don't worry. I got you covered.
โ How? โ Dean will be there.
โ [sighs]
โ [yawns]
Mmm, something smells good. What you working on over there?
โ Spanish omelet. โ Mmm!
โ Little chorizo. โ Mmm!
โ Red peppers, fried potatoes, and a pinch of salt.
โ Mmm!
Just like we are in Barcelona.
โ Mmโhmm.
โ Mmm. Oh, whoa, whoa, sir.
โ What?
[phone chimes]
โ Well, where's mine?
โ Everything you need is on the counter.
[phone chimes]
โ Well, it's just that,
you know, you usually make me one.
[phone chimes]
โ Well that's when we were roomies.
โ Well, what are we now?
โ You tell me.
โ Oh, come on.
โ I mean, we're definitely not dating, right?
โ We really can't just move past this?
โ Oh, I have.
[phone chimes]
โ What is that? โ Hinge.
[phone chimes]
Wait, no, this is Tinder.
โ You're back on the apps?
โ I mean, how else am I supposed
to put myself out there?
โ Why do you need to put yourself anywhere?
โ [sighs]
'Cause you don't wanna do this, right?
โ I don't...
I don't wanna not do this, okay?
And I definitely don't want you doing this with anyone else.
โ So you don't wanna date?
โ Right.
โ But you don't wanna not date? โ Right.
โ Essentially, you wanna not not date?
โ I think so.
โ But do you wanna not not date anyone else?
โ No.
โ I mean...
I'm down with that.
โ Cool.
โ You want cheese in yours? โ Duh.
[phone chimes]
โ You can just turn that off. โ Yeah, I think I will.
[phone chimes]
Jesus, how did you get so many matches on this?
โ I'm a catch. โ Obviously.
โ No, you wanna know my secret? โ Yes, please.
โ I just...I think about the kind of tail
I wanna land, right?
And then I just sort of cater my profile to the customer.
โ Sorry, like, you make stuff up or?
โ I mean, it's more like I just sort of tell them
what they wanna hear, and then they come to you.
Have I ever volunteered at an animal shelter?
I mean, no, but I don't want 'em gassed either.
Yeah, once you figure it out,
it's like shooting fish in a barrel.
And I'm no, like, coder,
but I'm don't want some algorithm
telling me who I should be with.
โ Ooh, Oaxacan street corn. โ Dad hates that cheese.
โ She is not wrong. โ I'll make coleslaw.
โ Then after dinner, you and Stan
can be on the same team.
โ For what? โ Scattergories.
โ Wait, now we're doing a game night?
โ We just need to be normal around each other.
โ We've never played Scattergories.
โ Twister?
โ You guys, I can get us into that office.
We've been using my hooโha all wrong.
Hey, Sara, how are you?
It's a little late for you to be up, isn't it?
โ My bedtime's not for another two hours.
โ Go to your room.
โ What?
โ I can't believe I finally met a girl who butt chugs.
โ Well, how else are you gonna pound a White Claw?
โ Cheers. โ [chuckles]
So what did you major in at Michigan?
โ Oh, science.
โ How did you get through organic chem?
โ I just really love organic stuff.
It's actually pretty easy at Whole Foods.
[laughter]
โ Well, uh... โ [sighs]
โ You know, most girls are turned off by my profile.
โ You're kidding me. Why?
โ They get all uptight about the hating kids stuff.
โ Ugh, I mean, kids suck. โ Right?
โ Yeah. โ Oh, hell yeah.
JellโO shots. โ Our fave.
โ To not remembering anything tomorrow morning.
โ I will drink to that.
โ Mmm.
โ Whew.
โ They go down easier the more you do 'em.
โ Oh, no, I'm justโโI'm cold.
โ You should've brought a jacket.
โ I need you to have the full picture.
โ Appreciate it.
โ Now that you had a preview...
Can I borrow yours?
โ Seriously? โ The next round will be on me.
โ Fine.
โ You're sweet. โ My mom always says that.
โ [chuckles] She's right.
Mmm. [chuckles]
โ Ready when you are.
โ Uh, ready for what? โ That shot.
โ Right, yes. Okay.
โ Let's just get the waitress.
โ But then you'd see me roofie it.
โ Will you marry me? โ [laughs]
[Cannibale's "Au Revoir"]
โช
โ You gotta be kidding me.
โ Please, Clark, I'm gonna burst.
โ You should see a doctor.
โช
โ Showtime.
โช
[quirky vocalizations]
โช
โช
โ โช She's fed up with seeing
โช The same dead people over and over โช
โช The same dead people
โช Hanging out in the streets
โช
โช She screams
โช Hang on a crucifix
โช She screams
โช Open hands on the IVs
โช
โช Low, afraid, and pissed off โช
[quirky vocalizations]
โช
โช In quivering voice
โช She says
โช
โช Au revoir
โช
โ What took you so long? โ Oh.
These are, like, really complicated.
[chuckles]
Mmm.
โ Just tastes like tequila.
โ Really?
No, theyโโtheyโโ
first, they light 'em on fire.
โ I came in and looked for you.
โ Well, theyโโ they wouldn't do it inside.
โ What's going on?
โ Okay.
I'm gonna level with you. โ That's never a good sign.
โ I went outside
to ask the valet
if I could leave my car here overnight.
โ Or maybe it's a great sign. โ Yeah, maybe.
[chuckles]
โ Uh, hey.
โ Beat it, bro. We don't have any money.
โ No, no, it's okay. I know him.
โ How?
โ He's my...
Roommate.
โ Oh, we're back to that now, huh?
โ Clark is on the prowl. I repeat, Clark is aโprowlin'.
[knock at door]
โ Who is that guy?
โ He's just aโโhe's a coworker.
โ You work at a miniโmart.
โ Yeah, he's the boss.
โ So now you wear your boss's jacket?
โ No, he was thinking about adding a jacket to the uniform,
and he wanted feedback,
so obviously I'm gonna tell him smaller sizes.
โ Hey, you know what? I'm sorry.
โ Kevin, please. โ This is my fault.
โ Can we please just talk about this later when we get home?
โ See, I really thought things would be different now.
โ I promise you. It's not what it looks like.
Okay, but I can't talk about it here, so pleaseโโ
โ Is everything cool?
โ Yeah, it's fine.
โ Listen, I don't wanna get in the way of anything here.
โ No, it's fine, I was just leaving.
โ No. โ No, I feel like I should go.
โ No.
โ No to me or no to him? โ We literally just met, so...
โ How'd you meet?
โ Bumble, Hinge, I don't even remember.
โ All right, she's all yours man.
โ You wanna go do another shot?
โ Yes.
โ I got phone records, bank accounts, names, numbersโโ
โ Quite a haul.
โ He knows everything.
โ Gotta say,
none of this looks good for a lady who's tough on crime.
โ What do you want? โ Let me buy you guys a drink.
โ Why?
โ Talk strategy. What's good around here?
โ There's a Chili's. โ Perfect.
Can I throw my bike in the back?
[door handle clicking repeatedly]
Could you take the child lock off?
โ That doctor dude sounds way more messed up than you.
โ Therapist. โ Textbook.
โ Mm, textbook what? โ Gay.
โ He's just British. โ Your exโhusband, super gay.
โ Don't tell meโโNoah?
โ Everyone in law enforcement's gay.
โ And why is it that I'm listening to you
about any of this again?
โ 'Cause I'm the only one who calls it like it is.
โ But you just have the one call?
โ Okay, you know who couldn't be
more straight and into you?
โ Let me guess.
โ Your hobo friend.
โ He's experiencing homelessness.
โ Whatever. That dude's all sac.
โ I just don't think I should be with anybody right now.
โ Why is that?
โ Because I have issues.
โ Everyone does. โ Well, mine could be studied.
โ Well, at least you're not in denial.
โ Thanks.
โ I'm serious.
Being aware of it
means you can't be that messed up.
โ How can a bro like you be such a good listener?
โ I'm not really a bro.
โ Sorry, bruh.
โ I'm gay. โ Funny.
โ Everything on my profile is made up.
โ But what about the picture of you
in Jamaica with the cheetah?
โ Photoshop.
โ But you had on a backwards hat?
โ To convince my dad.
โ Well, okay then.
[laughter]
โ Mm. โ Mm.
โ Mmโhmm, mmโhmm, mmโhmm.
โ You know, this is actually one of the best dates
I've ever had with a girl.
โ And you, my friend,
make very convincing human garbage.
โ Could I get a selfie for my dad?
โ Why not?
โ I'm sorry.
โ Why?
โ For what I'm about to do.
[indistinct dialogue playing on television]
โ [chuckling] Hey.
Have you seen this bit where the guy,
that dude from "SNL," he recaps TV shows?
โ Nope. โ It's genius.
He does this thing where he tries to guess
what the show is based on the title,
but he has no idea.
โ How could you?
โ How are those housewives in the ATL?
โ Didn't watch.
โ Uhโhuh, what'd you guys do?
โ We went out for drinks.
โ Twice in one week?
โ We ran into a friend of yours.
โ Yeah?
โ What, were you trying to show off
in front of your bike dads? โ No.
โ You must've felt like a real big shot.
โ It's not like that. โ What's it like then?
โ You put me in jail. โ Not on purpose.
โ What's the difference? โ You would still be in there.
โ Well, this guy is trying to make sure I don't go back.
โ Oh, the grown man in tights. โ He's got my back, okay?
โ You are such an idiot. โ Yeah, for trusting you.
โ He's not your friend.
โ At least he's trying to help. โ To get to me.
โ What are you talking about?
โ I have to get the city to plug his stupid face creams
for, like, conventions or hotels or whatever.
โ Wait, he said that?
โ He was never in it for you.
I really did want Nevada.
โ She could lose everything. โ So could we.
โ She has kids, Stanley.
โ Who's sleeping down that hall?
โ Since when do you get to decide to put a woman away?
โ It's not just about her.
โ 'Cause I don't remember marrying a judge.
โ You can't even see it anymore.
โ I can see we're not in a courtroom.
โ You could dress it up, talk around it.
โ At least in court, you get a jury.
โ But we're just criminals now.
You remember our old Nissan?
โ Rust bucket? โ Mmโhmm, mmโhmm.
It started out with a little patch on the door...
but, eventually, I took over the whole car.
โ Come on.
โ When's the last time we've been to church?
โ It bought our daughter a kidney.
โ Or volunteered at the food bank?
โ It pays for Harry's school.
โ And the crazy thing
is that I don't even feel guilty anymore.
โ 'Cause we deserve it.
โ Justify it all you want...
but, eventually, it rots out the floorboards.
โ I guess we should cancel dinner with the Bolands.
โ Yeah, probably.
[laughter]
โ No, dude, dude, she practically broke my jock.
โ Sounds like a wild night, buddy.
โ I was likeโโ I was like, "Chill.
I know you can't get enough, but Papa has got to sleep."
โ [chuckles]
Hey, where's the file key? โ Top right.
โ Yeah, that's where I left it.
Are you gonna see her again? โ Hell, no.
โ I cannot keep up with your women.
โ Oh, here.
โ That's weird.
โ You must have moved it.
โ I didn't. โ It wasn't me.
โ Can you grab the night logins from security?
โ Yeah.
โ [chuckles]
โ Who is she? โ That's your boy's girl.
โ You think this is funny? โ [laughs]
What'd she get? โ What do you think?
โ I think you got played, brother.
[laughs]
[sciโfi explosions play on television]
โ Yes, suck it!
โ All right, chief, time for homework.
โ One more level.
โ You got a book report, buddy. โ I'll do it later.
โ It's late.
โ Mom said I could stay up.
[gunshots and screaming play on television]
โ Did you get almond milk?
โ I got oat milk. It's better for you.
โ Where'd you get this?
โ It was on my car in the parking lot.
She's your buddy's wife, right? I like her.
โ Why? โ I don't know.
She seems like a leader. I hope she wins.
โ You know what? Me too.
โ Die!
[sciโfi explosions play on television]
Hey. โ Turn it off.
โ I can't see.
โ Turn it off.
โ Mom, tell your husband to move.
โ Just let him finish, honey.
โ Mom! โ Vance!
What the hell are you doing?
โ Book report, now!
โ Hey, you're here.
I know you're not allowed
to endorse one way or the other,
but I thought you could wear one while you work out.
โ Just take a seat.
โ Uhโoh, am I falling behind with working women
ages 18 to 34 who like to eat food?
โ No, I have something that's gonna help you.
โ I thought you weren't allowed to do that?
โ Well, I don't mean the election.
โ What's this?
โ Everything you were looking for last night.
โ I don't know what you're talking about.
โ Well, you or your sister or someone else
that you're working for swiped in at 9:38
with my assistant's ID, so when you're done,
I am gonna need 'em back.
โ What happens now?
โ I don't understand.
โ I wake up with a gun to my face
in the middle of the night?
โ You have a campaign to win.
โ And then when we're done,
you roll me up in a carpet for trash day?
โ Relax, jeez. No, that's not my style.
I'm more the guy that makes things difficult.
I know people, right?
You got a husband that's facing a long stretch.
Sister's got a record.
I mean, those two are lowโhanging fruit,
and there's no way that that friend of yours
can pay for her son's private school.
That's just a quick call to state,
get her tax returns, you know how that goes.
Yeah, can't let you off that easy, Beth.
You have a lot of work to do.
["Water" by Anna St. Louis]
[acoustic folk music]
โ Oh, wait, wait, wait, stop.
Right there. Zug Island Holdings.
โ Where's it go?
โช
โ Romeo Pipe Fitters and B and J Construction.
โช
Could make a case from the numbers
that it's padded for kickbacks.
โ But none of it goes back to him.
โช
โ โช How deep's the water?
โช
โช You say it's not
โช
โช How long is it flowing?
โช
โช You say, "It's gone"
โช
โช I guess I dreamt โช
โช
โช Slowโtraveling times
โ Just leave it on the table, man.
โ Beth wanted to, you know,
make sure you guys still had it, so...
โช
โ That's a lotta slaw, bro. โ It's half of what she made.
โ [chuckles]
โช
โ Listen, man, I'm sorry that...
[music stops abruptly]
โ We're in a cult, dude.
โ Yeah, they got us good.
[sighs]
โ You wanna...
you want to take the brotherhood down?
[knock at door]
โ Now you're knocking?
โ You said to.
โ When have you ever listened to me?
โ Nah, don't be like that. โ What do you want?
โ I'll take an apology.
โ What did I do now? โ You hurt my feelings.
โ How's that?
โ If you need something, darling,
all you gotta do is ask.
โ He's your brother. โ Cousin.
โ Family.
โ He's in our way.
["Water" by Anna St. Louis]
โช
โ โช Oh, lover
โช You seem to be hiding โช
โช
โช Something from me, and โช
โช I'll find it
โช
โช Silver shining across the
โช Deep end
โช
โช But we're swimming...
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