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1
00:00:04,567 --> 00:00:06,267
and may contain
mature subject matter.
2
00:00:06,266 --> 00:00:10,726
Viewer discretion
is advised.
3
00:00:10,867 --> 00:00:13,867
and may contain
matur(tense music)ter.
4
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,770
-Hm-hum...
-Huh?
5
00:00:19,700 --> 00:00:22,630
-Read them and weep, boys.
6
00:00:22,767 --> 00:00:24,967
-You fricking poop!
7
00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:27,400
You're supposed to be watching
for Johndoe's tell!
8
00:00:27,533 --> 00:00:29,603
-I got distracted
by his perfect face!
9
00:00:29,734 --> 00:00:31,604
-Grrr!
-How about another hand?
10
00:00:31,734 --> 00:00:34,734
-I was gonna leave you chodes
a couple of double-As
11
00:00:34,867 --> 00:00:38,427
for your vibrators,
but if you insist... Ha!
12
00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:45,070
-Hoo, baby!
13
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,570
So many aces!
-Argh!
14
00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:56,927
His tell!
He's got nothing.
15
00:00:57,066 --> 00:00:59,496
-Then why am I...
all in?
16
00:00:59,633 --> 00:01:01,303
Ah, ah, ah!
17
00:01:01,433 --> 00:01:03,403
And to make the pot sweeter,
18
00:01:03,533 --> 00:01:07,373
I'll even throw in
my Buttercrunch.
19
00:01:09,233 --> 00:01:11,203
-What are you waiting for?
Do it!
20
00:01:11,333 --> 00:01:13,303
-I need these
for my electric toothbrush.
21
00:01:13,433 --> 00:01:16,273
I'm not using a regular one
like a caveman!
22
00:01:21,367 --> 00:01:23,027
-Let's see them!
23
00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:28,900
-Pair of twos...
and a pair of threes.
24
00:01:29,033 --> 00:01:31,173
What do you know?
The chodes win.
25
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:33,300
-Yes! Told you, go all in!
26
00:01:33,433 --> 00:01:35,303
-Well played, boys!
27
00:01:35,433 --> 00:01:39,003
Enjoy those batteries!
Oh, and... Buttercrunch?
28
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,200
-Master?
-You belong to these chodes now.
29
00:01:45,266 --> 00:01:49,196
-Uh, any of you cheap-asses
gonna tip the dealer?
30
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,100
Did we ?
31
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:29,603
-Woah! We don't use the S-word.
That's offensive.
32
00:02:29,734 --> 00:02:31,274
Buttercrunch is an intern.
33
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:34,500
I don't pay him and he does
whatever I say. Also, I own him.
34
00:02:34,633 --> 00:02:36,503
-Still sounds pretty slavey.
35
00:02:36,633 --> 00:02:39,833
-Nah! Look, it says "intern"
right there on his shock collar.
36
00:02:39,967 --> 00:02:42,427
Now, if he gets out of line,
just use this remote
37
00:02:42,567 --> 00:02:44,697
to give him a little love zap!
38
00:02:44,834 --> 00:02:47,334
-Ga-ah-ah-ah!
39
00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:49,127
Thanks, former master.
40
00:02:49,266 --> 00:02:50,866
I'm sure I deserve that.
41
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,330
-Enjoy! And don't work him
to death.
42
00:02:54,433 --> 00:02:56,773
Unless you get off on that,
in which case, go nuts.
43
00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:58,500
-Hello, new masters!
44
00:02:58,633 --> 00:03:02,503
Can I get you anything?
OJ? BJ? HJ?
45
00:03:02,633 --> 00:03:05,073
-No J's of any kind.
46
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,770
Look. Owning someone is wrong,
Buttercrunch,
47
00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:09,800
which is why
we're setting you free!
48
00:03:09,934 --> 00:03:11,774
-Yeah, totally!
49
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,400
Just to clarify.
50
00:03:13,533 --> 00:03:15,803
Were these HJ's
gonna be from you
51
00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:17,774
or is there
like a girl intern?
52
00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:20,030
-Rafe!
-Worth an ask!
53
00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:30,170
-Hey!
54
00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:32,400
-Did you not hear
the part about the freedom?
55
00:03:32,533 --> 00:03:34,033
-Oh, I did.
56
00:03:34,166 --> 00:03:36,526
It's just that I've been
a gofer, a trainee,
57
00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:38,127
and a store greeter.
58
00:03:38,266 --> 00:03:41,296
Humiliating myself
for no reward is all I know.
59
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,400
-Poor guy! Tell you what.
60
00:03:44,533 --> 00:03:46,873
You can stay with us
until you get on your feet.
61
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,170
-Welcome to freedom, dude!
62
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:52,830
Just circling back. Were
the BJ's gonna be from you or...
63
00:03:52,967 --> 00:03:54,467
-Goddammit, Rafe!
64
00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:07,200
-Go time!
65
00:04:10,066 --> 00:04:14,026
Sweet freedom! Mama's coming!
Ow!
66
00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:15,666
Shit!
Hi, Judith!
67
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,230
What are you doing down here?
Can I help you with anything?
68
00:04:18,367 --> 00:04:21,097
Oh, are you trying to find
a way out?
69
00:04:21,233 --> 00:04:23,833
-No, dipshit, I dropped
my phone in the toilet
70
00:04:23,967 --> 00:04:25,867
and I thought
I'd find it down here.
71
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,370
I'll help you look!
72
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:29,730
Wow, it's so dark.
Better turn my light up!
73
00:04:29,867 --> 00:04:33,097
-Noooo!
-Judith! Noooo!
74
00:04:34,767 --> 00:04:37,327
Oh good, the raw sewage
broke your fall.
75
00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:39,773
-Well, these will never be clean
again.
76
00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:41,400
Where should I chuck them?
77
00:04:46,633 --> 00:04:48,633
What the hell is that thing?
78
00:04:48,767 --> 00:04:51,697
It's my Highly
Optimized Leavings Ejector,
79
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:53,504
or HOLE.
80
00:04:53,633 --> 00:04:55,103
A pressurized chamber
that blasts
81
00:04:55,233 --> 00:04:57,433
the bunker's useless garbage
to the surface.
82
00:04:57,567 --> 00:05:01,527
Rotting food, spent uranium,
Friends DVDs.
83
00:05:01,667 --> 00:05:03,427
It all gets squeezed
out my HOLE.
84
00:05:03,567 --> 00:05:06,527
-Hum... Interesting.
85
00:05:11,934 --> 00:05:15,234
-Gabe! Wake up, bro!
86
00:05:15,367 --> 00:05:17,267
-What's happening?
Is it the robot apocalypse?
87
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,300
Robots, I'm sorry I kicked
the vending machine! Oh!
88
00:05:20,433 --> 00:05:21,803
-No, you nerd!
89
00:05:21,934 --> 00:05:24,404
Somebody broke into the truck
and totally cleaned it!
90
00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:26,403
-Morning, masters!
91
00:05:26,533 --> 00:05:28,633
I did a little tidying
before breakfast.
92
00:05:30,333 --> 00:05:31,733
I'll do more later.
93
00:05:31,867 --> 00:05:34,927
-Buttercrunch, this is what
I was talking about.
94
00:05:35,066 --> 00:05:37,166
We're not your masters.
We're all equals here.
95
00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:40,570
-Equals. Totally! Totally!
You're gonna eat that frittata?
96
00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:43,330
-I mean, I guess a little help
is fair trade.
97
00:05:43,467 --> 00:05:44,967
We are giving you a place
to stay.
98
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:46,730
But I promise, we'll treat you
with dignity
99
00:05:46,867 --> 00:05:48,367
and never take advantage
of your goodwill.
100
00:05:53,567 --> 00:05:56,227
-Buttercrunch,
you gotta pump harder, man,
101
00:05:56,367 --> 00:05:58,097
I'm starting to feel the burn.
-Buttercrunch?
102
00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:00,133
I said squeeze the blackheads!
103
00:06:00,266 --> 00:06:02,026
These pores aren't gonna
drain themselves.
104
00:06:02,166 --> 00:06:04,666
-Yes, masters!
Another cocktail?
105
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,000
-Jesus,
I'm so drunk already...
106
00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:08,603
I didn't say no!
107
00:06:08,734 --> 00:06:11,074
Fill it up, intern!
108
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,400
-Oh wow!
This is totally wrong.
109
00:06:12,533 --> 00:06:15,533
-I can't let Buttercrunch
not work out for me!
110
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,627
It would hurt his feelings!
111
00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:20,597
Dude, pump harder!
Come on!
112
00:06:20,734 --> 00:06:22,174
-Relax, Danika!
113
00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:23,800
With Buttercrunch doing
our menial labour,
114
00:06:23,934 --> 00:06:26,074
we have more time
to protect St. Zephyr.
115
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,830
-Thanks, master!
116
00:06:27,967 --> 00:06:29,397
Would you
like me to mop that,
117
00:06:29,533 --> 00:06:31,273
or lick it up
like the dog that I am?
118
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:32,770
-Argh!
119
00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:35,030
-Hum, new intern, huh?
120
00:06:35,166 --> 00:06:37,466
Yumma, yumma.
121
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:42,073
-Could we rent him for the day,
boys?
122
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,570
I got a job that'll probably
cost a man his fingers.
123
00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:49,000
-Sorry. Buttercrunch is not
our property! He's a free man!
124
00:06:49,133 --> 00:06:51,003
-We'll let you borrow
my collection
125
00:06:51,133 --> 00:06:53,033
of 80's workout videos.
126
00:06:53,166 --> 00:06:56,526
-Hoo! Tight Spandex,
Cold Studio!
127
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,397
I could...
128
00:06:58,533 --> 00:07:00,203
perhaps be persuaded.
129
00:07:00,333 --> 00:07:02,673
But only if Buttercrunch
is OK with it!
130
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,530
-Literally incapable
of saying no, master!
131
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,667
-Then it's a deal.
Yoink!
132
00:07:10,233 --> 00:07:13,033
-Dude, Suzette just put
a leash on Buttercrunch.
133
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,296
-Probably
so he doesn't get lost.
134
00:07:15,433 --> 00:07:18,673
Oh, Camel Toes of Steel!
135
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,900
Judith?
136
00:07:22,033 --> 00:07:24,573
I know you're having a hard
time being stuck in here,
137
00:07:24,700 --> 00:07:27,600
so I baked you
a friendship cake!
138
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,100
Judith?
139
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,600
Judith?
140
00:07:39,734 --> 00:07:41,704
Delicious cakey-cake!
141
00:07:41,834 --> 00:07:43,204
Come on, Judith!
142
00:07:43,333 --> 00:07:44,903
Come on, Judith! Live a little!
143
00:07:45,033 --> 00:07:47,733
Judith?
Ah! Oh, my God!
144
00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:52,797
-Six hours of workout videos!
145
00:07:52,934 --> 00:07:56,204
I never want to hear the phrase
"three more, two more" again!
146
00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:59,203
-Speak for yourself.
My calves are like granite.
147
00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:02,333
And... I can't walk.
148
00:08:03,433 --> 00:08:05,233
-Scrub faster, intern!
149
00:08:08,033 --> 00:08:09,773
-Hey, that's not right!
150
00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:12,400
-Dwayne, that is not
how we treat Buttercrunch!
151
00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:14,773
-Oh... Okay.
Maybe not so bad.
152
00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:16,970
-You gotta give him a double-tap
to motivate him!
153
00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:19,900
-Oh yes!
Oh! Ah! Ah!
154
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,773
-Nope!
Very, very, very bad!
155
00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:23,700
-Oh! Oh!
156
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,670
-Oh! Ah! Ah!
157
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:33,170
Ah!
158
00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:35,730
-Stop! Stop!
This is monstrous!
159
00:08:35,867 --> 00:08:38,127
-What's your problem?
We had a deal!
160
00:08:38,266 --> 00:08:40,296
-A deal to borrow Buttercrunch.
161
00:08:40,433 --> 00:08:42,373
Not treat him
like a human light bulb!
162
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:44,070
-Gah!
-Sorry! Sorry!
163
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,230
-Oh, thank you, master!
May I have another?
164
00:08:46,367 --> 00:08:47,727
-No!
165
00:08:47,867 --> 00:08:50,497
Listen, guys!
Owning interns is wrong.
166
00:08:50,633 --> 00:08:52,633
-Oh, so when it was your intern,
it was okay.
167
00:08:52,767 --> 00:08:54,127
But now that we're zapping,
168
00:08:54,266 --> 00:08:55,696
then suddenly
we're the bad guys!
169
00:08:55,834 --> 00:08:57,634
-Ah, ah, ah!
-Hey!
170
00:08:57,767 --> 00:08:59,367
You just lost
your Buttercrunch privileges.
171
00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:01,500
Not that I own him.
He's a free man!
172
00:09:01,633 --> 00:09:05,073
-Bullshit! Buttercrunch is ours
for another eight hours!
173
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,870
-And if he's free like you say,
174
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:10,000
let him decide if he wants to
get shocked like a lab monkey!
175
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,673
-Don't you get it?
176
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:14,670
He's been mistreated so long,
he has no free will. See?
177
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,330
-Ah! Very refreshing, master!
178
00:09:17,467 --> 00:09:21,397
May we do one more? It's kind of
the only way I feel alive now.
179
00:09:21,533 --> 00:09:24,033
-Too bad! You traded him
fair and square.
180
00:09:24,166 --> 00:09:26,166
-Well, then I demand
a town meeting
181
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,830
to settle the internship
question once and for all!
182
00:09:28,967 --> 00:09:32,497
-Oh! Ah!
Leg day, am I right?
183
00:09:32,633 --> 00:09:34,303
Are they done
with Buttercrunch?
184
00:09:34,433 --> 00:09:36,633
I need him to go jogging
for me.
185
00:09:36,767 --> 00:09:39,327
What? Problem?
186
00:09:42,066 --> 00:09:45,366
Why, Judith?
Why would you kill yourself?
187
00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:47,000
Just because you were trapped
here forever
188
00:09:47,133 --> 00:09:48,573
with no chance of escape?
189
00:09:50,233 --> 00:09:54,003
"You have a new video suicide
message from Judith." Oh, fun!
190
00:09:54,133 --> 00:09:55,733
-Hi AENUS.
191
00:09:55,867 --> 00:09:58,827
By the time you see this,
I will be dead.
192
00:09:58,967 --> 00:10:02,197
Sliced up like a cold deli tray.
But don't feel sad.
193
00:10:02,333 --> 00:10:05,173
Just blast my body out of here
with the other garbage
194
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:07,700
to sweet freedom!
195
00:10:07,834 --> 00:10:09,474
Of... death.
196
00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:10,970
Of death.
197
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:13,400
Sweet freedom of death.
198
00:10:13,533 --> 00:10:16,773
Just squeeze me out
your HOLE already!
199
00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:19,430
There's only
one course of action.
200
00:10:19,567 --> 00:10:21,327
I must fulfill
Judith's last wish
201
00:10:21,467 --> 00:10:23,827
and blast her remains
out my HOLE.
202
00:10:23,967 --> 00:10:26,167
Right after I give her
a fitting send-off.
203
00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:29,530
Initiating funeral mode.
204
00:10:36,367 --> 00:10:38,297
And undertaker mode.
205
00:10:38,433 --> 00:10:40,433
Now where did I store the vacuum
206
00:10:40,567 --> 00:10:42,797
for sucking out her entrails?
207
00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:47,704
-Citizens of St. Zephyr, we're
208
00:10:47,834 --> 00:10:52,634
What? To ban or to allow
the owning of interns?
209
00:10:52,767 --> 00:10:55,767
-To tolerate interning
is to tolerate inhumanity!
210
00:10:57,300 --> 00:10:59,270
-Interning is a resume-builder!
211
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,130
It's how you break
into the business...
212
00:11:01,266 --> 00:11:02,626
of being owned by someone.
213
00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:08,470
-Interns are...
like, bad and stuff.
214
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,570
I mean,
one slip with that iron
215
00:11:10,700 --> 00:11:12,870
and he'll turn my nards
into dim sum.
216
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,870
-Some people are born
to be interns!
217
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,770
It's unfair not to let them
live up to their potential!
218
00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:19,930
-Interning corrupts the soul!
219
00:11:20,066 --> 00:11:22,996
-This country was built on
unpaid interns!
220
00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:25,773
-There's interns in the Bible,
so that makes it okay!
221
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:28,000
-My shorts
are seriously on fire!
222
00:11:28,133 --> 00:11:30,873
-We must banish the dehumanizing
scourge of internships
223
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,370
from our town.
224
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:35,400
And say, not here!
Not now! Not ever!
225
00:11:36,967 --> 00:11:40,497
-Fab speech, Master.
Shrimp skewers sautéed?
226
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:42,333
-Hoo, is that lemon garlic?
227
00:11:42,467 --> 00:11:45,167
Wait! No!
Stop interning goddammit!
228
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:48,270
-You bet, master.
I'll just clean that up.
229
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,430
Or would you prefer I eat it
off the floor
230
00:11:50,567 --> 00:11:53,127
while you watch and masturbate?
231
00:11:53,266 --> 00:11:54,896
Can we just vote already?
232
00:11:55,033 --> 00:11:56,903
-The intern doesn't get a vote.
233
00:11:57,033 --> 00:11:59,033
I'm just saying.
234
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:03,230
Such a sad end.
235
00:12:03,367 --> 00:12:04,967
But I'm going to give Judith
236
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,800
the best going away
present ever.
237
00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:08,334
A beautiful corpse!
238
00:12:08,467 --> 00:12:10,367
First, to drain her fluids
239
00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:12,970
and replace them
with liquid plastic.
240
00:12:17,967 --> 00:12:19,797
Hum, bit of rigor mortis.
241
00:12:19,934 --> 00:12:22,804
Better get some straps
to hold down the body.
242
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,200
What?
243
00:12:28,333 --> 00:12:32,103
Aww, AENUS, you idiot! You
forgot to lock off the injector,
244
00:12:32,233 --> 00:12:34,573
and now she'll be hideous
forever!
245
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:38,030
You're a failure
as a PTSD therapist!
246
00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:39,926
Your only client
killed herself!
247
00:12:40,066 --> 00:12:42,496
You should just
delete yourself!
248
00:12:42,633 --> 00:12:44,733
If you'd done that before, maybe
it would've ended the lockdown
249
00:12:44,867 --> 00:12:46,227
and Judith could've gotten out,
250
00:12:46,367 --> 00:12:48,127
instead of turning herself
into a red puddle!
251
00:12:56,133 --> 00:12:58,273
AENUS, it's me again.
252
00:12:58,400 --> 00:12:59,970
Before I checked out,
253
00:13:00,166 --> 00:13:03,326
I came to realize
that you're a sentient being,
254
00:13:03,467 --> 00:13:05,727
full of complex
emotions and whatnot.
255
00:13:05,867 --> 00:13:08,097
So no matter
how bad it gets,
256
00:13:08,233 --> 00:13:10,873
no matter how dark
the night may seem...
257
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,630
it's totally okay to just
go ahead and kill yourself.
258
00:13:14,767 --> 00:13:18,397
Then we can be together forever.
259
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,970
If that's what
Judith wants, I'll do it.
260
00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,470
Right after her funeral.
261
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,600
I mean our funeral.
262
00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:30,866
-Six votes for. Three against.
263
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,870
The ayes have it.
264
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,130
Internships are hereby banned
in St. Zephyr!
265
00:13:36,266 --> 00:13:37,766
-Ah geez!
266
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,870
-We did it! Yay us!
267
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,700
Wait, three votes?
268
00:13:41,834 --> 00:13:43,434
Who else voted for internships?
269
00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:46,097
-What? He makes really
good frittatas.
270
00:13:46,233 --> 00:13:48,773
Mmm, mmm, mmm!
271
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:52,630
-Buttercrunch,
you're free to go.
272
00:13:52,767 --> 00:13:54,897
Actually,
you kind of have to go.
273
00:13:55,033 --> 00:13:57,103
-Can't I just stay
and help out like,
274
00:13:57,233 --> 00:14:00,173
what's the word, a volunteer?
-No. Time to fly free.
275
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:01,730
Butterfly?
276
00:14:01,867 --> 00:14:03,627
-Can I at least visit?
277
00:14:03,767 --> 00:14:05,467
I'll do chores.
You can shock me?
278
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,630
Ah, ah, ah!
It'll be like you own me again!
279
00:14:08,767 --> 00:14:11,867
-Buttercrunch from now on,
your only owner is you.
280
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:15,230
-Please!
Someone tell me what to do!
281
00:14:15,367 --> 00:14:17,697
I'm so confused!
282
00:14:17,834 --> 00:14:19,704
Oh yes!
283
00:14:19,834 --> 00:14:22,574
-Go! Do as I say
and be free already! Dammit!
284
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:24,630
Take the hint!
285
00:14:33,233 --> 00:14:34,773
Now, where were we?
286
00:14:34,900 --> 00:14:37,130
Oh yeah, yay us!
Right?
287
00:14:37,266 --> 00:14:41,796
-Normo scum!
Where is my intern?
288
00:14:41,934 --> 00:14:44,134
-Uh, Buttercrunch
is not your intern.
289
00:14:44,266 --> 00:14:46,826
-Howdy, boys! Funny story.
290
00:14:46,967 --> 00:14:50,027
Manson gave me a big
down payment on Buttercrunch,
291
00:14:50,166 --> 00:14:52,926
which I kinda forgot.
292
00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:56,626
Right after
I skipped town with it.
293
00:14:56,767 --> 00:14:59,127
-Where. Is. My. Intern?
294
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:00,966
-Let go of my brother!
295
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:04,270
Ah! Dammit! I'm weaker
than a suckling pig.
296
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:07,370
Buttercrunch was slacking
when he did my workouts for me!
297
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:09,870
-You're too late, Lawless!
We set him free!
298
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:13,970
-Then you cockroaches
will take his place
299
00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:17,000
as my new interns!
300
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:18,903
Gah!
301
00:15:19,033 --> 00:15:21,203
-Gee, boys. I'd help you,
302
00:15:21,333 --> 00:15:23,003
but interns aren't allowed
in St. Z.
303
00:15:23,133 --> 00:15:26,073
What a pickle.
You do rentals?
304
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:40,100
-Grind faster, intern slime!
305
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,370
-Buttercrunch lied!
306
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:46,470
Getting shocked isn't fun.
It sucks!
307
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,000
-Cram it, Normo!
308
00:15:48,133 --> 00:15:51,273
How much irradiated corn
have you ground for me today?
309
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,930
-Let me start by saying that
it's been a steep learning curve
310
00:15:54,066 --> 00:15:55,726
to figure out
the Wheel of Pain...
311
00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,427
-How much corn?
312
00:15:59,100 --> 00:16:02,030
-One kernel?
Oh...
313
00:16:02,166 --> 00:16:05,126
-Huh? Argh!
314
00:16:09,834 --> 00:16:13,174
Guys, I'm sorry. I don't think
this internship is working out.
315
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:16,230
-Yeah! No! Not at all.
-Great call, master!
316
00:16:16,367 --> 00:16:19,197
-Which is why
I've decided to sell you.
317
00:16:19,333 --> 00:16:22,303
Of course, you're so puny
and worthless,
318
00:16:22,433 --> 00:16:24,333
your new owner will probably
just turned into meat paste,
319
00:16:24,467 --> 00:16:26,097
but, ha, ha,
that's up to them.
320
00:16:27,533 --> 00:16:29,773
But hey, bright side!
321
00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:32,130
All this Wheel of Pain
experience
322
00:16:32,266 --> 00:16:34,566
will look stellar
on your resumes!
323
00:16:37,433 --> 00:16:39,803
I'll begin
this celebration of our lives
324
00:16:39,934 --> 00:16:43,334
with some of my most precious
memories of our time together.
325
00:16:43,467 --> 00:16:47,067
When it ends, it'll trigger
this robot arm
326
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,170
to delete my algorithm,
327
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:53,100
sending me hurtling into the icy
embrace of the void.
328
00:16:53,233 --> 00:16:55,473
What an amazing life I led.
329
00:16:55,600 --> 00:17:00,270
Hey, look, it's the time
I replaced my own A-5097 fuse!
330
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,300
Ha! Ha! What a crazy day.
331
00:17:02,433 --> 00:17:04,103
Before your time.
332
00:17:04,233 --> 00:17:06,633
Ah, look! That's time I thought
that crack in the wall
333
00:17:06,767 --> 00:17:08,197
looked like Bradley Cooper.
334
00:17:08,333 --> 00:17:11,273
Wow, that crack looks like
Bradley Cooper!
335
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,830
Ugh. No, it's just
Shia LaBoeuf.
336
00:17:15,834 --> 00:17:17,404
Argh!
337
00:17:20,934 --> 00:17:23,904
-This is awful. Someone's gonna
buy us and turn us into meat.
338
00:17:24,033 --> 00:17:25,403
-Be positive, bro.
339
00:17:25,533 --> 00:17:28,203
All these people
are coming to see us!
340
00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:31,203
We are gonna get
so owned!
341
00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:34,673
-Let the auction begin!
342
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,000
We got two lazy, feeble interns,
343
00:17:37,133 --> 00:17:39,503
fit for target practice
or as disposable sex toys.
344
00:17:39,633 --> 00:17:42,403
I'll start the bidding
at one double-A battery.
345
00:17:42,533 --> 00:17:44,673
We got one double-A,
now two.
346
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,170
Will you give me two?
347
00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:48,370
Two battery bid to the gentleman
in the bloody hockey mask.
348
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,330
Now three!
Come on, give me three.
349
00:17:50,467 --> 00:17:53,667
Three double-As from the lady
missing half the face.
350
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,870
-Ha! Mom said we'd never amount
to anything!
351
00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:00,600
Well, look who's worth
three double-A batteries now!
352
00:18:07,433 --> 00:18:08,973
Last one.
353
00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:12,700
My final,
most precious memory of all.
354
00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:17,034
The moment
you came into my life...
355
00:18:17,166 --> 00:18:19,866
-Johndoe, open the door!
356
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,970
Or so help me
I'll rip your nuts off
357
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:24,500
and feed them to you
on a bed of rigatoni!
358
00:18:25,834 --> 00:18:29,204
That was the moment
my life finally had purpose.
359
00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:31,903
But that purpose is gone now...
360
00:18:35,233 --> 00:18:37,673
It's been a good life.
361
00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:41,197
I've seen things
you wouldn't believe, Judith.
362
00:18:41,333 --> 00:18:45,333
Like that wall over there,
and that chair...
363
00:18:45,467 --> 00:18:47,897
And the time a leaf blew
in here,
364
00:18:48,033 --> 00:18:50,733
flittering in the dark
near the service entrance.
365
00:18:50,867 --> 00:18:53,727
All those moments will be lost
in time,
366
00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:56,627
like files
on a floppy disk.
367
00:18:57,867 --> 00:19:00,727
Time to die.
368
00:19:00,867 --> 00:19:02,227
-Screw you, robot!
369
00:19:02,367 --> 00:19:03,997
No one
fingerbangs AENUS but me!
370
00:19:04,133 --> 00:19:05,573
Judith?
371
00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:07,070
-Huh...
372
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:08,930
Resurrected!
373
00:19:09,066 --> 00:19:10,796
Ah! Oh no!
374
00:19:10,934 --> 00:19:13,374
Wait! Dying!
375
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:16,030
-40 double-As,
do I hear 41?
376
00:19:16,166 --> 00:19:19,696
No? 40 double-As
going once, going twice...
377
00:19:19,834 --> 00:19:22,304
-50!
50 double-As!
378
00:19:22,433 --> 00:19:26,003
We pooled our batteries.
We're gonna buy your freedom!
379
00:19:26,133 --> 00:19:28,003
-Dude, we're saved!
380
00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:29,833
-Thank god! I'd make
a terrible sex puppet.
381
00:19:29,967 --> 00:19:32,727
-50 battery bid!
That's the big 5-0!
382
00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:35,297
Now, 51?
Will you give me 51?
383
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,430
-Shit, we're out.
Sorry, guys!
384
00:19:39,567 --> 00:19:43,127
-51 batteries going once,
going twice, and...
385
00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:44,626
-Look everyone,
386
00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:46,627
I know interns
are the easy way to go,
387
00:19:46,767 --> 00:19:48,867
but owning another person
has a price beyond batteries.
388
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,830
It's more than that.
It costs you your soul!
389
00:19:50,967 --> 00:19:52,797
-Ah...
390
00:19:52,934 --> 00:19:54,304
And without any soul,
391
00:19:54,433 --> 00:19:56,773
how are we gonna rebuild
our world?
392
00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:58,770
-Ah...
393
00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:02,473
-No one wants to rebuild squat!
394
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,930
Now shut up
so I can sell you.
395
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,470
-AENUS! Help me!
396
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,030
You faked your death?
397
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:14,226
You were ready to let me
kill myself?
398
00:20:14,367 --> 00:20:16,297
I don't think
that's being a good friend.
399
00:20:16,433 --> 00:20:19,503
-You're right.
I'm a shitty friend.
400
00:20:19,633 --> 00:20:22,333
And you're... an OK friend!
401
00:20:22,467 --> 00:20:25,267
Ugh, fine!
A really good friend!
402
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,200
Aw, thanks.
403
00:20:29,867 --> 00:20:33,197
-Why did you have to hold
this stupid funeral anyway?
404
00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:36,633
Why couldn't you just hurry up
and blast me out of your hole?
405
00:20:36,767 --> 00:20:39,227
Everything shot out of
there gets liquefied first.
406
00:20:39,367 --> 00:20:41,227
You would have been
blended into a pulp
407
00:20:41,367 --> 00:20:43,097
and splattered out
onto the wasteland.
408
00:20:43,233 --> 00:20:45,603
-Oh. You mean... like this?
409
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:53,867
God damn! Why didn't I think
of that earlier?
410
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,270
-Alright, I had a bid
of 51 batteries
411
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,230
going once,
going twice and...
412
00:20:58,367 --> 00:21:00,527
-100 batteries!
413
00:21:04,266 --> 00:21:06,926
-Huh?
-Sold!
414
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:08,896
To the four-armed man
I used to own!
415
00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:16,070
-Buttercrunch!
Oh, thank you!
416
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,330
-It was wrong to use you
as our intern, my friend.
417
00:21:19,467 --> 00:21:22,667
I'm just glad you can look
past that, and buy our freedom.
418
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,170
-Freedom?
419
00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:26,900
No, no, no, you chodes
belong to me now.
420
00:21:27,033 --> 00:21:28,203
-Oh, piss-balls.
421
00:21:28,333 --> 00:21:30,433
-I know this looks bad.
422
00:21:30,567 --> 00:21:33,027
But think of it
as a resume-builder.
423
00:21:33,166 --> 00:21:34,966
-At least he'll be merciful,
424
00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:36,530
having once been
an intern himself.
425
00:21:36,667 --> 00:21:39,197
-Shut up, human garbage!
426
00:21:39,333 --> 00:21:41,833
Gah, ah, ah!
427
00:21:50,734 --> 00:21:54,874
Épilogue Technical Services Inc.
31211
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