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♪ Kick it down on Crash and Bern ♪
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00:00:02,460 --> 00:00:03,960
Bernstein! Bernstein!
3
00:00:04,045 --> 00:00:06,295
I just heard the most amazing thing!
4
00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:08,131
I have to tell you right this second!
5
00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:09,836
It can't wait any longer!
6
00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:12,716
-Oh. Can I have a cheesy bit?
-Sure.
7
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:20,769
Ugh! This is no time
for snacks, Bernstein!
8
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,194
I've got news!
9
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:27,072
A day is coming that sounds like
the awesomest day ever.
10
00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:30,452
It's called Christmas.
11
00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:32,410
Actually, Crash, we don't celebrate--
12
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,660
No worries, Bernstein.
I got everything we need.
13
00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:37,406
This bad boy was just sitting in the park
14
00:00:37,495 --> 00:00:40,955
right in front of a sign that said
"Portland's oldest tree."
15
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,035
And look!
16
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:46,496
Stockings with our names
written in rhinestones.
17
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:48,973
Please tell me these weren't
in front of a sign
18
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,589
that said "Portland's oldest lady."
19
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:53,716
-[grunts]
-Crash, you don't understand.
20
00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:55,563
-We don't--
-I know what you're gonna say.
21
00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:58,218
Everything needs to be
ridiculously overdecorated.
22
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:02,598
That's why I swallowed
73 lbs. of Christmas lights.
23
00:01:02,687 --> 00:01:04,727
[puking]
24
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:09,146
Crash, we don't celebrate Christmas.
25
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:10,445
[gasps]
26
00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:11,778
-[coughs]
-[clatters]
27
00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:13,950
[clears throat]
28
00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:15,702
-Excuse me.
-[sighs]
29
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,624
Crash, I know Christmas sounds great,
30
00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:19,252
but our family celebrates Hanukkah.
31
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,869
Remember when we lit
the Menorah and opened presents?
32
00:01:23,541 --> 00:01:25,921
I don't know why you're
using a regular Menorah.
33
00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:28,052
I built a meno-rocket!
34
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:31,505
[all scream]
35
00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:35,012
-[thuds]
-[laughing]
36
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,965
Yes! Happy Hanukkah!
37
00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:42,231
Oh yeah!
38
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I don't remember any of that.
39
00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:50,192
♪ Let me tell you about the Bernsteins ♪
40
00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:52,316
♪ Yo, I'ma let you finish ♪
41
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:54,114
-♪ But ding-dong ♪
-♪ Who's that? ♪
42
00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:55,277
♪ Yo, it's Crash at the door ♪
43
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:57,945
♪ Don't wait for you to openKick it down hard core ♪
44
00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:00,254
♪ A purple with a 'tudeWhere your mom hide the food? ♪
45
00:02:00,328 --> 00:02:02,908
-♪ In the fridge ♪
-♪ I'ma eat it then we tear it up, dude
46
00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:05,417
♪ No make-up or feelingsTea parties or dolls ♪
47
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,710
♪ Now it's ninjas and football ♪
48
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:07,963
-♪ And face slams ♪
-♪ Good call ♪
49
00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,304
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
50
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:10,509
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
51
00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:11,968
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
52
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:12,878
♪ What he said ♪
53
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,296
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
54
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:15,644
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
55
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,049
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
56
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,097
♪ What he said ♪
57
00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:20,309
♪ It's war against awesomeBut awesome's gotta soar ♪
58
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:23,100
-♪ I'll be grounded forever ♪
-♪ That's what friends are for ♪
59
00:02:23,184 --> 00:02:25,444
♪ Crash and BernsteinCrash and Bernstein ♪
60
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,150
-♪ Crash and Bern... ♪
-♪ I said "Stein" ♪
61
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:28,820
♪ What he said ♪
62
00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:31,191
[chuckles]
63
00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:37,571
That's what I call
a successful trip to the mall.
64
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,407
What? That was horrible.
65
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:42,702
At least when hyenas fight
they let each other live.
66
00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:47,166
It doesn't look like you bought anything.
67
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:48,540
That's why it was successful.
68
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:51,086
I returned all
my Hanukkah gifts for cash.
69
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,801
I love the holidays.
70
00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:55,878
You better not have returned my present.
71
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:56,837
Not likely.
72
00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:59,716
There's no cash value
for hand-drawn coupons.
73
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:00,676
[thumps]
74
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:03,771
Mine says you'll walk my dog for free,
75
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,191
and I don't even have a dog!
76
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:11,395
Are we talking
about Amanda's horrible gifts?
77
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,863
Mom! You said you loved your gift.
78
00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:17,413
I distinctly heard you say,
"I love this coupon."
79
00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:20,119
I was talking about a coupon
for laundry detergent.
80
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:23,407
Ooh! Coupons!
81
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,785
I would like to redeem this one please.
82
00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:29,331
[scoffs] No way.
I am not scratching your back.
83
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:32,837
Hey, you made the coupon,
you honor the coupon.
84
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:33,761
[chuckles]
85
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:40,220
Oh! Oh yeah. Oh, lower. Up! Harder!
86
00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:42,183
Scratchier! Come on, woman!
87
00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:43,973
I spent all week developing these itches!
88
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,807
[groaning]
89
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:48,732
Hey, everyone, remember--
don't make plans this Saturday.
90
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:50,192
Great Aunt Biddy's coming.
91
00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:51,901
[all groan]
92
00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:53,321
What makes her so great?
93
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,650
Nothing. She knits itchy sweaters
94
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,895
and makes fruitcake
that taste like cat turds.
95
00:03:58,571 --> 00:03:59,611
No offense, Dad.
96
00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:01,278
No, none taken. She's pretty horrible.
97
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:06,329
This fruitcake you mentioned,
is it made with real cat turds?
98
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,163
They say the fake stuff
has chemicals in it,
99
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,788
and I'm not putting that in my body.
100
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,327
Eww.
101
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:16,513
Great Aunt Biddy gives 100 bucks
102
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,549
to whichever kid she likes
the most during her visit.
103
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:21,053
-Oh.
-This is her favorite perfume.
104
00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:23,506
Smart! You're gonna give her a gift.
105
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:26,176
No, I'm training myself
not to throw up when I smell her.
106
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:29,386
-Oh.
-[both inhale deeply]
107
00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:33,267
[screaming]
108
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,396
Bernstein, tear my eyes out!
109
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:36,483
I'm begging you!
110
00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:38,238
Do it! Do it!
111
00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:41,779
[grunts]
112
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,579
-Hey, Cleo.
-'Sup, Karl?
113
00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:48,958
Forget it, Wyatt.
I'm totally gonna win the money.
114
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,707
Once again, you've been Cleo'ed...
115
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[whispers] by Cleo.
116
00:04:57,505 --> 00:05:00,215
Guys, guys, it's-- it's the holidays.
117
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The money doesn't matter.
118
00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:04,426
What matters is family.
119
00:05:05,513 --> 00:05:09,143
Hey, dad wrote a song called
"Aunt Biddy, I love you the most."
120
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:10,385
That money's mine!
121
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:14,944
Ah. Families lying
to each other over money.
122
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:19,153
Will the world ever run out
of awesome ways to spend the holidays?
123
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:22,491
In my travels, I've seen
all sorts of celebrations.
124
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:26,162
In Mongolia, they feast
on warm yak yogurt.
125
00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:28,952
The last one to yak gets to keep the yak.
126
00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:33,667
Oh. So I can celebrate any way I want?
127
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:36,879
I can wear a pineapple hat
and punch people in the stomach?
128
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:40,297
Or dip myself in hot dog water
and punch people in the stomach?
129
00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:44,222
Sure. How you choose to celebrate
the holidays is totally up to you.
130
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:46,852
Up to me, huh?
131
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,681
You're thinking about punching
me in the stomach.
132
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:52,096
No-oooo.
133
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,685
May-beeee.
134
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:56,110
Ye-ssss.
135
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,569
[coughs]
136
00:05:57,649 --> 00:06:00,239
[screaming]
137
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,156
[inhales deeply]
138
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:09,453
Actually, it smells quite nice.
139
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:16,040
Oh, universe, please give me a sign.
140
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,086
What holiday should I celebrate?
141
00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,590
Hey. Hey, buddy, you mind?
142
00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:22,092
I'm talking to the universe here.
143
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,223
Fine, you can stay...
144
00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:29,142
Only because you're really good-looking.
145
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:32,184
Hey! Stop pointing at me!
146
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:33,307
Stop it!
147
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,393
[gasps]
148
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,727
Oh, I get it.
149
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:40,653
You're saying the answer is within me.
150
00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:42,737
[hawking]
151
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,777
[coughs, gasps]
152
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:50,446
Jelly! Of course!
153
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:55,285
I should create my own holiday
in celebration of jelly!
154
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:59,042
Oh. I see you have jelly, too.
155
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:01,593
I like yours better.
156
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,585
Hey, look! Huh?
157
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:08,514
Huh? [gasps] You are good.
158
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,425
[chuckling]
159
00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,190
What are you eating?
160
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,770
Cereal with tomato juice.
161
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,315
I figure if I can keep this down,
162
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:22,478
I can keep Aunt Biddy's
homemade fruitcake down,
163
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,277
then hello 100 bucks.
164
00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,574
Although I'll probably have to spend
10 of it on stomach medicine.
165
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:32,992
[spits, groans]
166
00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,789
Lightweight. You can't compete with me.
167
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:42,708
I wuv you, Aunt Biddy.
168
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,166
See you on the flip flop, rookie.
169
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:47,012
[sighs]
170
00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:49,302
Hey, great news, Bernstein.
171
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,966
-What?
-[grunts]
172
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,474
I did a lot of soul-searching
173
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,925
and decided to create my own holiday--
174
00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:57,056
Crashenfest!
175
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,731
-Wow, that's great.
-Not finished.
176
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:04,033
Crashenfest is the celebration
of many wondrous traditions,
177
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:07,609
like exploding sharks, underwear brittle
178
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,816
and cleaning up shark parts.
179
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,526
But can your made-up holiday
help me win Aunt Biddy's money?
180
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,537
Jasmine's taken her cuteness up a notch.
181
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:16,749
All I've got is good-natured tomfoolery.
182
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:19,872
That's right.
I looked up old-people words.
183
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,457
Ah. Well, I'd love to help, Bernstein,
184
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,804
but I have some important
holiday work to do.
185
00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:30,182
[grunts, laughs]
186
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:31,260
[sighs]
187
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:32,644
I love the holidays.
188
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:40,484
♪ Of all the holidays, one's the best ♪
189
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:43,942
♪ It's the day called Crashenfest ♪
190
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,944
♪ A holiday with no tradition ♪
191
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,026
♪ Just random thingsLike toilet fishin' ♪
192
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:50,031
♪ Slap a dude with a loaf of bread ♪
193
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,953
♪ Wear toilet paper on your head ♪
194
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,162
♪ Wrap yourself in provolone ♪
195
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,912
♪ Auction off your neighbor's bones ♪
196
00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:59,865
Oh, Bernstein! Grab some jelly.
197
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,746
You're just in time
to celebrate Crashenfest.
198
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,380
Whoa! Where'd you get all those swords?
199
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:06,592
At the sword mart.
200
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,341
Oh yeah, over in the sword district?
201
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,673
You know it.
202
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:12,505
Crashenfest legend has it
203
00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:16,264
if you run through a field of swords
with your eyes closed and don't die,
204
00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:17,718
that means you have good luck.
205
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:18,637
Watch.
206
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:23,609
See? I found a lucky penny.
207
00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:25,689
On an unrelated note,
208
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:28,494
do you have a unpunctured
spleen I could borrow?
209
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,907
-[ringing]
-Merry Crashenfest!
210
00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:34,281
[cockney accent] Pardon me, good sir,
211
00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:37,236
t'is anyone here decorating
for the feast of Crashenfest?
212
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,953
-Yeah!
-I have here
213
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:43,918
some authentic, one-of-a-kind
Crashenfest decorations.
214
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,170
[clatters]
215
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,092
Whoa. I normally wouldn't
be interested in this,
216
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:51,882
but you wouldn't have put it
in that disgusting burlap bag
217
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,176
if it wasn't nice.
218
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,045
Straight away, guv-nor.
219
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:58,806
This entire pile can be yours
for the paltry sum of--
220
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,980
How much does he
usually have in his pocket?
221
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:04,149
Not counting dead bugs and stuff
he's found stuck to other stuff?
222
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:05,359
Nothing.
223
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,976
You can pay me later.
224
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:10,276
Or I'll break your legs.
Either way, it'll be fun.
225
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,490
Deal! But I'm not falling
into debt with you.
226
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:15,371
-[grunts]
-[rips]
227
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,698
-[grunts]
-[snaps]
228
00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:21,575
Now we're even.
229
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,620
[grunting, hopping]
230
00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:32,796
Who wants an invitation
to my Crashenfest feast?
231
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:35,432
-I'd love one.
-[grunts]
232
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:36,470
[grunts]
233
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:40,807
Next time, just text me.
234
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:45,189
Don't worry, Mrs. B. You're invited, too.
235
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,230
[grunts]
236
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:52,435
Oh. Looks like that vase
got the last invitation.
237
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,280
[sighs] Unless you have another rock.
238
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:58,703
Just tell me where
the party is and I'll be there.
239
00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:00,873
It's in a very fancy place.
240
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:03,462
Make sure you dress properly.
241
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,075
Okay, I feel a teensy bit overdressed.
242
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:10,922
[clinks glass]
243
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:12,668
Thank you, everyone,
244
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:15,756
for coming to my traditional
Crashenfest meal.
245
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:19,262
Mrs. B., I have given you
the seat of honor.
246
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,346
Oh. [chuckles]
247
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,595
Mom, just a head's up--
248
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,606
I might need that seat
after the corned beef.
249
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,404
-[sighs]
-[clears throat]
250
00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:34,987
It is that special time of Crashenfest
251
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:36,820
when we go around the table
252
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:40,825
and everyone says
what they love most about Crash.
253
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,789
Why are we in a bathroom?
254
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,659
Thank you, Cleo,
I feel the same about you.
255
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:47,077
-Okay.
-[bells jingling]
256
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,745
[gasps] What's that?
257
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:52,093
Could it be?
That sounds like Crudsworth,
258
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:54,340
the Crashenfest beaver!
259
00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:59,181
[lisping] Hey, kids! I brought presents.
260
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,550
Yay!
261
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,641
Jasmine, for you.
262
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,853
That's my music box.
263
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:09,311
[gnawing rapidly]
264
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:16,152
And now it's a pony.
265
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,606
No, it's not.
266
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:19,411
Oh.
267
00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:22,582
Did I miss Crudsworth?
268
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,079
Oh, darn it.
269
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:27,330
Well, I guess we'll just get
to the jelly throwing.
270
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,254
No jelly throwing.
271
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:35,630
Oh! Did you say no jelly throwing?
272
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,724
I thought you said no jelly throwing.
273
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:39,259
You understand my confusion.
274
00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:43,300
Okay, that's it.
275
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:45,848
No more Crashenfest in this apartment.
276
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,022
Okay? Aunt Biddy will be here soon
277
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,151
and I want all of you in the living room,
278
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:53,228
looking good, wearing the sweaters
that Aunt Biddy made for you!
279
00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:54,774
Do you want us looking good
280
00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:56,688
or wearing the sweaters
Aunt Biddy made us?
281
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:58,824
-Out!
-[flushes]
282
00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:04,367
Did you hear that, children?
283
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:10,251
Every time a toilet flushes,
Crudsworth punches an angel.
284
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,262
Do we have to wear these sweaters?
285
00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:27,676
Yes, aunt Biddy made them.
286
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:29,846
Why? Is she mad at us?
287
00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:33,443
[groans] I can't stop itching.
288
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:35,481
What does she knit
these with, athlete's foot?
289
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,529
-[knocks on door]
-Okay okay, that's her.
290
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:40,860
Everybody put your fake smile on
and, whatever you do,
291
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,735
don't let her see the fear in your eyes.
292
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,952
Hello, I'm a Southern millionaire
293
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:53,878
and I present myself
for the Crashenfest hootenanny.
294
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:55,628
I'm sorry, whose nanny?
295
00:13:56,252 --> 00:14:00,302
Ah, Mr. Crash told me
if I encountered a cranky missus
296
00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:03,642
who says that Crashenfest
is not permitted in this apartment,
297
00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:06,468
I should remind her
that the patio is technically
298
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:09,184
outside the confines of said apartment.
299
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,685
Now, where can I hang my money?
300
00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:14,354
Ah, thank you, dear.
301
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,855
[knocks on door]
302
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:24,526
Fear not! I have arrived!
303
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:28,164
E pluribus, I want to party!
304
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:31,155
[southern Crash] Ah, Mr. Gladiator, sir.
305
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:35,250
Wow. Parties have really
changed since I've been away.
306
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,043
It's like I've been living in a cave, man.
307
00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:39,127
-Oh, don't say "caveman"!
-[loud thud]
308
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:43,587
[grunts]
309
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:45,585
Sorry late.
310
00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:48,427
Traffic bad.
311
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:55,693
[techno music playing]
312
00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:58,150
[southern Crash] Mr. Crash,it's such a pleasure to see you.
313
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:01,361
[Crashes chattering]
314
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:06,701
Okay, everybody stop moping.
315
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:10,084
It's not like it's
the greatest party of all time.
316
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,120
[gladiator Crash] This isthe greatest party of all time!
317
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:14,544
[party horns tooting]
318
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:16,752
[cheering]
319
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,502
Mom, we have to go to that party.
320
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,546
Caveman's doing karaoke.
321
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:27,549
[caveman Crash grunting]
Now old ladies sing!
322
00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:30,349
Okay, nobody's going to the party.
323
00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:32,564
Aunt Biddy would not approve.
324
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:35,941
Karl, back me up on this.
She's your great aunt.
325
00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:38,649
Yeah, your mother's right, guys. No party.
326
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,570
-[oven beeps]
-Oh! Oven's ready.
327
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,358
I'm gonna go make more mushroom puffs.
328
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,111
[whispers] Let's go to the party.
329
00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:51,834
[music continues]
330
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:56,709
Attention! Attention everyone!
331
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:59,540
The sumo wrestlers are
running slightly late,
332
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,876
so until then,
sumo wrestle amongst yourselves.
333
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:06,052
-Merry Crashenfest!
-[all] Wohoo!
334
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:07,840
Guys guys, listen.
335
00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:10,386
As long as mom doesn't catch us
out here, we're fine.
336
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:11,930
So, Jasmine, you're the lookout.
337
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:14,765
-Practice your whistle.
-[shouts] Whistle!
338
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:17,017
Good enough. Let's party!
339
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,732
Hey, can I borrow that?
340
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:30,819
Thanks.
341
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,868
[grunts, spits]
342
00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:36,542
Hey, Wyatt, we're bobbing for socks.
343
00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:38,672
I don't know why I'm into this, but I am.
344
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:41,671
[grunts, spits]
345
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:45,711
Cottony, sweaty,
with just a hint of fungus.
346
00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:47,547
This is why I come here.
347
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,258
Whistle! Whistle!
348
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,644
[music continues]
349
00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:56,978
Well, mushroom puffs are done.
350
00:16:57,058 --> 00:17:00,308
-Oh, hey, Mom, let me help you with these.
-Thank you.
351
00:17:00,395 --> 00:17:02,015
Oh! Oh! Oh!
352
00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:05,185
-Wyatt!
-Oh, sorry, Mom.
353
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:07,275
Looks like you're gonna
have to make more puffs.
354
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,950
-[Karl]Oh.
-Sorry.
355
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:19,622
[crowd chants] Snow, snow, snow!
356
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,916
Hey, everyone, it's time
for the jelly volcano!
357
00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:25,051
[crowd chants] Go, go, go, go!
358
00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:28,718
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
359
00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:30,508
No volcanoes!
360
00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:33,514
Jasmine, you were supposed
to be our lookout.
361
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,387
Oh yeah.
362
00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:37,813
Whistle, whistle.
363
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,349
No volcanoes.
364
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:44,397
Aunt Biddy is going to be here very soon.
365
00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:46,901
You're just all lucky
that you kept your sweaters clean.
366
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:51,113
-And get inside!
-Wait! You can't leave yet!
367
00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:52,946
It's that time of Crashenfest
368
00:17:53,031 --> 00:17:56,911
where we blindfold a hungry Crudsworth
and see what happens!
369
00:17:58,161 --> 00:17:59,701
It's chewing time!
370
00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:02,368
-[gnawing]
-[people screaming]
371
00:18:17,472 --> 00:18:20,022
Great Aunt Biddy will not be happy.
372
00:18:21,810 --> 00:18:25,310
So it'll just...
be like every other holiday.
373
00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:28,109
Well, it could be worse.
374
00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:30,651
The red in my sweater makes
it hard to tell I'm bleeding.
375
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,657
I wonder where Aunt Biddy is.
She's never late.
376
00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:37,659
Even when she broke her hip,
she dragged herself to kickboxing.
377
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:42,035
Oh! Oh, great party out there.
378
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:44,872
You know who would've
loved it? Aunt Biddy.
379
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,838
It's a shame she missed her flight--
380
00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:49,088
At least that's
what she said in the message.
381
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:50,380
[sighs]
382
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,513
Someone was supposed to tell you guys.
383
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:53,630
Oh yeah, it was me!
384
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:56,135
What? She's not coming?
385
00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,968
[laughing]
386
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:01,595
Crash, I don't know whether to kill you
387
00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:03,063
for not giving me the message
388
00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:05,193
or bake you a cake
for delivering the good news.
389
00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:07,807
Why does it have to be either/or?
390
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:12,107
Hoo! Well, dinner's already made.
We might as well just eat, right?
391
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:16,611
It's gonna be weird without her
criticizing my scalloped potatoes.
392
00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:18,408
They really are disgusting.
393
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,081
Thanks, honey, but it's not the same.
394
00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:25,708
Daddy, what are you doing?
395
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,670
I just miss Aunt Biddy pinching my cheek.
396
00:19:28,752 --> 00:19:31,502
I guess the holidays just
aren't the same without her.
397
00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:35,761
Hello!
398
00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:40,559
Your Great Aunt Biddy is
here to pinch some cheeks.
399
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:41,768
Whoa! Wrong cheek.
400
00:19:42,766 --> 00:19:44,306
You loved it.
401
00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:47,647
Come here, bubala.
402
00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,979
Give your Aunt Biddy a kiss.
403
00:19:50,065 --> 00:19:51,645
Oh! Oh jeez!
404
00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:53,283
Close your mouth at least.
405
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:57,364
Well, I have a big holiday surprise.
406
00:19:57,447 --> 00:20:00,527
I made my special fruitcake!
407
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:04,791
-Oh yeah.
-That's the jelly volcano.
408
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,961
No, dear, it's a fruitcake.
409
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:10,920
-Wanna see it erupt?
-No!
410
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:18,132
-[yelps] Oh no!
-Ah!
411
00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:19,888
Get down! Get down!
412
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,930
Whoa. What happened?
413
00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:25,184
[gasps] Did I miss Aunt Biddy?
414
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,266
Crash? Come here.
415
00:20:31,606 --> 00:20:33,476
Merry Crashenfest.
416
00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:36,534
[laughs]
417
00:20:36,611 --> 00:20:39,741
-Merry Crashenfest!
-Merry Crashenfest!
418
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:45,291
[holiday music playing]
419
00:20:45,370 --> 00:20:46,790
♪ Crashenfest is here ♪
420
00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:48,831
♪ And everyone will cheer ♪
421
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,745
♪ Run a race in a toga ♪
422
00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:52,634
♪ Make prank calls while doing yoga ♪
423
00:20:52,711 --> 00:20:54,381
♪ Play one-on-one with chupacabra ♪
424
00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:57,222
♪ Eat fondue with Tim McGraw-bra ♪
425
00:20:57,298 --> 00:21:00,218
♪ May your holiday smile glow ♪
426
00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:03,681
♪ While you're sampling yellow snow ♪
427
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,313
♪ Crashenfest is here to stay ♪
428
00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:07,430
♪ And all my friends are here to say ♪
429
00:21:07,517 --> 00:21:09,097
♪ A holiday with no tradition ♪
430
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:10,895
♪ Just random thingsLike toilet fishin' ♪
431
00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:12,559
♪ Slap a dude with a loaf of bread ♪
432
00:21:12,647 --> 00:21:14,107
♪ Wear toilet paper on your head ♪
433
00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:15,650
♪ Wrap yourself in provolone ♪
434
00:21:15,734 --> 00:21:20,744
♪ And auction offYour neighbor's bones ♪
435
00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:23,158
Merry Crashenfest!
436
00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:26,331
And happy face slam!
437
00:21:26,411 --> 00:21:28,751
[grunts, moaning]
438
00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:31,827
Your TV is hard.
439
00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:36,248
♪ Crash and Bern, hard core ♪
440
00:21:37,756 --> 00:21:38,796
♪ Bass, bass ♪
441
00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:43,799
♪ What ♪
442
00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:48,725
♪ That's what friends are for ♪
443
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:49,928
♪ Crash and Bern ♪
444
00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:51,308
♪ Tear it up, dude ♪
445
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:53,855
♪ Good call ♪
446
00:21:53,938 --> 00:21:55,728
♪ Crash and BernCrash and Bern ♪
447
00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:58,815
-♪ I said, "Stein" ♪
-♪ What he said ♪
32813
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