Original subtitles

Don't you think I want everyone's happiness?

That nobody suffers?

But what do you care?

You too belong to this filthy society.

All of you sit here in disguise...

...hiding your real faces behind masquerades.

That's why they all look alike, mom.

Look...

...they are all alike.

That's the way of the world, my son.

What will happen...

...will happen.

That's why I feel tired, mom.

I'm weary.

I've lost all desire to stay alive.

I am anyway...

...a mere Joker in this house of cards.

They are the real players.

Son, no!

No!

No, son.

Son... Son, wake up.

Wake up, what have you done? My god!

Whose phone is that? Whose is it?

Will someone speak up?

That's my phone. Just a moment.

Sorry sir, it's my phone. Just a minute.

Sanjay!

I didn't even tear up yet!

It's urgent, sir. From the office.

I've got to go. Sorry, I have to take this.

She...

-Go and lie down. -I...

Make do with her for now, sir.

Yeah.

Send her to lie in the main show too, okay? Scoundrel!

-Just make do for now, mom. -Handle it!

Hey...

-Sir, the role should at least be worthy enough. -I'll see to it, sir.

Best of luck.

The city of Delhi knows me as its Meryl Streep, sir.

Okay.

Next production, you're my leading lady. Okay?

You stay dead!

Son!

Mom, I was hard at work.

I've left, yeah. On my way.

Yeah.

Don't do this, sister.

What would it do to dad?

Relax, Sneha.

I'll flee the nest only after you hatch.

Did you speak to brother or should I help?

Speak to brother!

Will it make any difference?

Won't the blind man listen to his stick?

He will, definitely.

Don't worry.

I'll talk to brother about this.

Brother will listen, so will dad.

Bye.

Hello.

Hi.

Hello.

Hello.

You start.

I tend to be dumb in such situations.

Do dumb guys work in multi-national companies?

My parents sold me well, I suppose.

Great.

Well, I'd like to know more about you so tell me.

I work for a BPO.

But don't worry, no night shifts.

-Is Babloo fooling around? -What?

Is that why you're being shy?

Yeah, mom told me.

If you wish, we'll continue this at night.

My family's fine with it.

Actually,...

...the reception's a bit weak here.

That's why.

No problem.

As long as you receive my signals.

Aditi, you... Are you crazy?

You'll get me executed one day.

Does all evil in you spout out only during my calls?

Then tell mumma dearest to stop hunting wedding proposals for you.

Only then will my inner Satan calm down.

You're receiving my signals, right?

-You sure? -Yes, my love.

Next.

-Name? -Sanjay Lal Singh.

What acrobatics shall you display?

I want to propose to you.

The seniors asked me to.

If the seniors tell you...

...tease the girl, grab her and kiss her...

-...will you mutely comply? -He will.

I'm a senior as well.

From here on out, whenever you see me, you will apologise.

- Okay. - How?

Get lost.

-Go, we don't have much time. -Yes.

-"This is how we met" -"Here we are now forever"

-"This is how we met" -"Here we are now forever"

-"This is how we met" -"Here we are now forever"

-"This is how we met" -"Here we are now forever"

"A little sweet and a little bit tangy"...

... "such is our perfect pair."

-"My heart longs only for you"... -I find one mistake, and...

-" I'm your Juliet and you're my Romeo" -No issues, I'll redo it.

"I'll take on the colours of your life"

"No matter what, we'll never stay apart."

-"This is how we met" -"Here we are now forever"

-"This is how we met" -"Here we are now forever"

-"This is how we met" -"Here we are now forever"

Aditi!

I don't want my son to Romeo around with your daughter.

That's why I want them to be siblings.

-Was that original? -No, read it on Whatsapp.

"Life is incomplete without you"

"Nothing else matters without you"

"If you wish, weekdays will be at home."

"If you wish, I'll leave the world for you."

"If you wish, I'll turn days into nights"

"No matter what, we'll never stay apart."

-"This is how we met" -"Here we are now forever"

-"This is how we met" -"Here we are now forever"

-"This is how we met" -"Here we are now forever"

-"This is how we met" -"Here we are now forever"

-"This is how we met" -"Here we are now forever"

-"This is how we met" -"Here we are now forever"

"Here we are now forever"

You know what?

You decide...

...whether you want to settle in the US or get married?

Both are possible sir, only if you consent.

The vacancy is for a senior position.

I know, sir..

Crap! Sorry.

Take it.

No sir, it's okay.

Sir, I'm aware that the vacancy is for a senior position.

But how would they know that he is a junior?

He does half of my work,

and you've already seen his talent.

You'll get no complaints, sir.

This is what happens when you recruit from your college.

You guys try to take advantage!

Is it important?

It's dad.

Take it.

-No sir, it's okay. -When elders call, you answer.

Bad news never announces itself.

Yes sir. Excuse me.

Sir, should I speak to the US office?

Sir, settling there is our only option.

You already know, how it is with our families.

It's too complicated.

- And don't stress it. - Yes, dad.

-Then grab the first fight and come. -Yes.

Then I'll tell you what it is.

-Yes, dad. -Got it?

- Your blessings. - Blessed.

What could I have done if dad didn't tell me anything?

You mustn't have asked properly, Sanju.

Boss is ready to help. We can't take him for granted.

Even if we don't go to the US, it's okay.

This time, I'll go home and tell...

...them to stop looking for wedding proposals for me.

Because my roommate is not a random Bablu from Kanpur, but a pretty princess from Jaipur.

Okay?

-Don't you want to marry me? -Don't you want to stay alive?

Oh man!

They're just my parents. They'll come around, not behead us.

-Try speaking to your folks too. -Don't you expect that from me.

Dad despises love marriages even in movies.

-He cheers in the Titanic only when... -when Jack is dying.

I'm aware.

Aditi!

Chhotu.

So buddy!

Why the long face?

You look as shaky as a Peepal leaf.

You'll have to wait a while.

You didn't even ask me what I pinched for you.

Wanna know?

A bat for you.

A gorgeous Kanjeevaram Sari for mom...

...an exquisite Titan watches for dad, grandpa and uncle.

-And for your elder sister... -Listen brother...

...don't utter her name at home.

Why?

You remember Arpit?

Satyanarayan's son.

Yeah, the one who broke through AIIMS in the first attempt.

He also broke through our family honour in the very first attempt.

Arpit has eloped with our sister!

Why didn't you tell me?

I thought we'd get our hands on them in a day or two.

Now shit's knee-deep so I'm having to shine the torch.

Anyhow, it was your father's orders...

...to get you here and enlighten you.

What if you had eloped with your girlfriend too?

Uncle is a prophet; he sees everything.

He's filed a case of abduction already on the boy.

Mr Yadav is in deep doodoo.

But it's there's no way to justify a case.

I'll speak to dad.

Don't you poke your nose in this.

Uncle is fuming and Ganga is flowing.

You'll be blowing bubbles when he drowns you.

Think of your own self.

If you've pinched a girl from the same caste, speak up when you reach home.

If you haven't, just keep nodding your head at the meeting.

Meeting?

You want me to spill all the beans right here?

Let's go home.

Come.

So..

We're done.

Shall we?

Come.

-Here. -Oh how much will you feed us?

We'll be carrying the fat till next winter!

Please eat.

Mom!

This is... my son, Sanju.

Take his blessings too.

What a dapper boy!

These days, we get photos of boys looking like movie stars ...

... but what you find...

...a clown in reality.

Exactly.

And I repeat...

...being from the premium institute, you must aim higher.

Apply for administrative services. If you break through,...

...you'd command over the region, right?

Who am I to comment...

... on your well-read, well-bred boy? He's handsome too.

But if Rashmi does, he might consider it.

It's come to my ears, these two...What's it called?

Video chatting.

They've started chatting.

I've to excuse myself to the bathroom.

Look!

Look how coyly he shied away!

What's all this, mom?

There's something you must've heard about the family.

This is my younger brother.

You must've heard about his daughter.

Let bygones be bygones.

But why?

Clearing such things up with our own is necessary...

...before society starts poking its sharp nose within.

Shambhu.

Rajput rituals aren't like clothes...

...thin polyester one day...

...and pure cotton the other.

We've prepared everything.

You just wait till we find her.

I'm sure you've seen...

the courtyard; downstairs.

We'll bury her pieces below.

Now I'm convinced...

...I'm marrying my daughter in a family I can boast of.

Spoken like a true Rajput.

Dupe your own son into coming home and trapping him, huh?

Incredible.

Like a sacrificial lamb to the slaughter!

-Don't speak like that. -Why not, mom?

We speak on the phone 10 times a day.

Not once did you mention what dad is up to.

What could I have said?

What could you have--

Is there someone else you like?

Twenty five lakh cash Maruti Swift car...

...and four sets of gold. There you go.

Make it forty.

Upgrade the Swift into Dzire.

And seal the deal.

Uncle how about a swanky SUV?.

Any special model, my lord?

In fact, how about I shift aside and you take over?

Oh, let the boy be.

He's a child. Whichever brand and colour he craves...

...it'll be on your doorstep.

Let's find the auspicious date for the wedding now. Glad it's finally done.

So let's sweeten your mouth. Great! Congratulations!

I don't want to get married.

Have some more..

Oh, do take it!

-Here you go! -I don't want to get married.

-Why aren't you listening to me? - Please don't be shy!

I don't want to marry her. I like someone else.

Grandpa! Grandpa-what are you doing?

By caste-...

...she belongs to the same one as ours.

Her father runs a huge business.

They have oodles of money, a beautiful house in Delhi.

And the degree: Engineering, MBA, university topper!

Her bank balance outweighs what you would ask for dowry.

Put the gun down, please. Help me, would you?

She belongs to our caste, grandpa.

Our caste. She's our caste. Grandpa, she's our caste.

-Yes. -She's our caste!.

She's our caste.

Quite cunning, the both of them.

Their phones are switched off, out of reach.

But we're not in frocks too. We'll nab them.

Your dad couldn't swallow a morsel without Shweta.

And now...

...he's bent on hunting down and killing her.

Never did she seem sad...

...nor upset.

It appears she's planned everything very placidly.

The guy's a doctor, mom.

He'll keep a smile on her face.

Had he been from our caste,...

...dad would have been vying to give him a Mercedes.

Don't worry, now.

Just eat.

I will stop worrying, son,...

...only when you speak to Aditi's parents.

Then we'll come...

...to finalise the wedding date.

And then within a year or two...

...when our yard will be bustling with your children...

...all will be fine.

Let's see.

Hey!

This doesn't seem the kind of place to drink juice.

She turns!

And where are you from?

Shri Ram Colony, Jaipur, Rajasthan.

And if you want to see another day, you'd better flee.

Hail Goddess!

AC in my Jaguar and 'paratha'. Too much fun.

-Perfect date. Come. -How are you, Aditi?

I'm fine.

-And who's this doofus? -Doofus?

This doofus arrived quite before you. So just fuck off!

How are you, brother?

And where will you be going, son?

Hope there's no rush.

Relax.

-Did you have anything? -No, I'm not hungry.

-Brother, about Sneha... -Finish your juice first.

Huh?

Juice.

Finish it.

Kolkata is a distant dream.

Tell Sneha that dad won't agree.

She's been dreaming of IIM for years now.

You've seen all the hours she's spent working for it.

O God!

How about bro-sissy carry on...

...and I'll take my leave.

Did I ask you?

Look, sister,...

...she's going nowhere. It's as simple as that.

You're studied quite well in Delhi, didn't you?

She'll adjust here, as well as her dreams.

You tell me.

You're just spot on!

In fact, I'll go get a t-shirt, saying 'I love Delhi'.

And you...

I'd like you to come meet me someday without reason.

No?

Waiter!

Waiter!

That big gremlin among the four small ones.

She's the one. She splashed my face with drinks.

She's coming here. If she says anything to you...

Bloody waiter!

First, he gets me the wrong drink.

Then...

...he prances in front of me.

She's drunk; she's lost it.

-I gave you the right drink. -Shut up.

You have no idea who you're dealing with.

The lanes of Delhi call me its Meryl Streep.

-Even I become Rambo after two shots. -Hey.

I'm saying...

Get her the drink.

-Come on. -Two.

Get a couple.

Two.

-Now go. -Go.

He could've done that...

...way before...

...but...

...all my rants fell on deaf ears.

But you came,...

... my knight in shining armour!

Who are you?

Never mind.

Oops.

You didn't even tell mom?

Mom's in a really bad place after Shweta's eloping.

She'd be shattered if I had told her the truth.

All she has is me now.

How can I abandon her in good conscience and settle abroad?

It's impossible for you too.

For all we know, they'll pull away Sneha's books and push her into marriage.

That's the way of the world, son.

Whatever has happened...

... will continue to happen

I'm tired, mom

I'm weary.

They have murdered my desire to stay alive.

I am anyway, a Joker in this house of cards.

The real players are these!

What do I do then?

Tell me. Do I have a choice?

Do I? Tell me.

No, right?

No!

If your journey took you through the paved road of lies...

...why did you suffer within the walls of truth?

Even God wore the cloak of lies to hoodwink the forces of evil.

You forgot, my son!

How could you forget?

God!

Aditi.

I've got it!

-I've got it! -What?

We'll hoodwink, beguile and prevail.

What a foolish idea, Sanju! Handcuffs will be waiting for us.

If we prepare everything meticulously chance of success is a hundred.

Aditi!

When will my actor buddies from the theatre come useful?

If we give one shout, moms and dads will be abundant.

Fine.

Let's try Walmart.

Maybe they'll give us a discount on Mother's Day.

-Have a nice weekend. -You too. I'll send you the slides...

-...by Monday. -Okay.

Okay? See you.

Neither can we desert our family for settling in the US,

...nor can we part ways.

Is there any other option you see?

We'll have to plan every detail.

Great!

That's great.

Just a minute, Aditi. Aditi, I love you.

"The mother's forged, the father's fake,"

"But sky-high are the stakes"

"Tightening the pants of fate, all loose,"

"Getting our heads off the noose"

So the plan is, there are going to be two weddings.

First, you have to meet Aditi's family as my dad...

...and then my family as her dad.

Hold on.

Why don't you get them to meet each other directly?

Very simple.

It's not simple at all, sir.

The pinprick is caste. If this reaches their ears, there's going to be murder.

Simple!

-I haven't got life insurance. -Okay.

There's going to be murder! That's how you pitch roles?

For your eternal love...

...I should put my head under the guillotine?

Get executed!

Don't shit me.

You want an artist to paint a Mona Lisa with his own blood?

Zubina,...

...well...

Well!

How long had I been craving such a role!

I swear by Stanislavski.

Layered.

Challenging.

Relevant.

So relevant.

-''It's a river of fire, we'll cross it drowning.'' -I will do it.

''It's a river of fire, we'll cross it drowning.''

-I did a runaway wedding too. -Wow.

So you support love marriage then?

No.

Then fights broke out. And we got divorced.

You shall meet the same fate. Take my advice...

...and go for arranged marriage. Best bet.

"Sending minions to test our patience, oh lord,"

"Why do you trouble your devotee, god?"

"All horoscope are barriers... "

"Confusing us with their mumbo-jumbo"

"All the while pundit says no."

"This is a lost cause."

No traits align.

Punditji...

...all astro-crap, caste, creed, race...

...just take care of it.

Make a chart...

...such that people announce it a match made in heaven.

-Okay. -"Win over the pundit with cash."

Bless you.

Bharatpur?

-Dad's aunt lives there. -Ajmer.

Nope, Uncle's married his daughter there.

Your family's apparently everywhere. You tell me.

Sikar. There's no one in Sikar.

-Sure? -Yes.

Uncle, when are you leaving for Jaipur?

This week

Yes, actually I wanted to send some clothes for Sneha.

Oh I see.

- Yes. - Then come to Mishra's shop.

-At Mishra's -Yes, child.

Okay. When?

This Saturday.

Saturday? This Saturday?

Sanju, we'll have to be prepared by Saturday.

Tell me, have the both of you done it?

-Done what? -Consummation, you know.

Yeah, long ago in college.

In college? Love marriage is a test of self-will.

The one who can't keep his urges in control...

...fails this test.

I won't be helping you.

That's right.

When will my theatre buddies help?

We're just meeting wack-jobs.

He got mad as if I had consummated with his wife!

Next.

Let's give just a mother then.

Kill the father.

No.

With both parents, it'll look more genuine.

There's an actor...

Look-wise, neither Rajput nor Jat.

He retired from acting long ago.

Seems passionate.

Was.

Played Dushasan on stage years ago.

He got so into character, that he pulled off his co-actor's costume onstage.

She slapped him and stormed off.

Audience was enraged and thrashed all the actors.

He became a laughing stock that night...

...and he hasn't been seen on stage since.

I must appreciate your courage.

Thank you.

You know the issue, right?

My shop is shuttered, buddy.

Sir,...

-...how long... -I'm done.

Sir, till when will you let the ghosts of your past haunt you?

Till when?

Even Lord Brahma once erred. Right?

Once...

...even Jonty Rhodes missed a catch once.

Even Guru Dutt made a flop film once.

No... Guru Dutt never made a flop film. No.

To be honest sir,...

...the streets of Delhi theatres are chattering about this role.

-Believe me. -Yes sir.

Layered, challengin and so relevant.

Exactly.

But we need an actor of your calibre.

Pure method actor...

...who'll immerse himself into being our real father.

Sir, give acting another chance.

-You'll set the stage ablaze. -Yes sir.

And then this photo...

...will look better here, right?

-Yes? -Wow!

Legends.

-Who's playing the mother? -What sir.

The mother?

"My drunk friend is a dynamite"

"My drunk friend is a dynamite"

This is who you brought?

-Zubina! -Yes.

She's younger than me.

And she's taller too.

-How will she fit as my wife? -Give it a chance, sir.

Wrong casting. It's not going to work, I'm telling you.

Sir, just give it a try.

She'll fit perfectly.

Right under my shoe.

Trust me.

For a legend...

-...I needed the best. - Exactly.

- Sir, Delhi calls her its Meryl Streep. - Meryl Streep!

- Sanjay! - My foot!

-Hi. -You're 20 minutes late.

It takes a bit of time...

Welcome back to the club, sir.

I'm so excited...

I'm exhilarated.

What's up with him?

Nothing. Shall we?

- Is there a problem? - No problem.

Can there be a problem bigger than you?

-"It's a river of fire, we'll cross it drowning" -What's with him?

"It's a river of fire, we'll cross it drowning."

Mishra, here's another.

What'd you call a woman flying a plane?

Tell me, what'd you call her?

You'll call her...

... a pilot!

-Didn't expect that, did you? -Wow.

Hello, uncle.

Hello, child.

Hello, Mr Mishra. Hope you're well.

Hi Aditi. I'm fine.

This is Sneha's gift.

Okay.

Is the ticket booked?

Confirmed?

I always get a confirmed ticket. Look.

Child... Hey!

Irrespective of everything, you insist on taking the sleeper.

Why's your Aditi earning for?

Tell him, Mr Mishra.

I always tell him to get an AC one.

But his hands are clenched.

He's only kidding.

Here's your ticket.

I've booked AC for you! AC.

AC!

But make sure you sit right on your seat, okay?

If you sit on the wrong one, they'll fine you five hundred.

Acting is not just appearances.

Wearing loads of makeup and looking old!

There's some nuance to it. Some craft.

Sanjay, I'll handle myself.

Better see to him.

He's been rusting all these years. Lying forgotten.

How dare she? Did you see?

-He's rusted. -Even if a lion ages...

...he never forgets the smell of prey.

This is all there is.

If you keep squabbling like this, the train will reach Jaipur.

Uncle will get off and that's it.

I respect the talent you have.

I admire both of you respect both of you greatly.

I'm concerned about you, mom and dad. Dad, here!.

15?

Sit, please.

Seat number 15.

May I help you, uncle?

No, it's okay.

I'll handle it all, son. Don't worry.

You can relax, son.

Trust me.

Bless you.

Don't skip your meals, okay?

I'll keep checking on you.

Okay?

Want to buy anything?

Time-pass items...

sixteen GB pen drive, thirty -two GB...

...for the journey or for time pass... Uncle,...

Want it?

How much is it?

A hundred and fifty for thirty-two GB.

Save the hundred, it won't last even fifty minutes!

Right?

Uncle, I'll go down to a hundred.

Shoo.

Sixteen GB pen drive, thirty -two GB...

He's no helpful Henry...

...to pawn off his items so cheaply.

Delhi's brimming with fakes.

Our Sikar's way better.

Anyway,...

...for a job earning a lakh...

...my son shifted to Delhi.

Then for the love of our son...

...we shifted as well.

But it comes with its problems.

A boy as well educated as him finds it tough to find someone suitable...

...for his marriage.

We've met seventy girls yet.

Some lack beauty. Whereas the ones with beauty...

...seem morally conspicuous.

In all this pandemonium...

...the train to his marriage..

...is derailed.

Aditi your uncle is positively nuts.

He's sitting there, mute.

Just nodding and staring into oblivion.

Zubina,...

...hope's still alive.

Just wreathe garlands of my praises.

I'll text you praiseworthy feats of whiz kids.

It's not going to work.

That'll be of no help.

- Yes. - Uncle is a little slow.

A little slow?

- He's not... - Calm down

Zubina, play at the striker's end.

- Directly. - Yes.

And don't forget...

...that uncle should first utter of the proposal.

From his mouth. Okay?

Yeah.

All the best.

Striker's end.

Some tea, brother?

That's it.

Some tea, brother?

Will you have some tea?

- Yes. - It seems...

...you're from Rajasthan as well.

Jaipur.

Jaipur?

Then you must have our homely tea.

Here.

Here you go.

So?

Who's there in the family?

Well, my parents passed away.

And?

Brother...

...or sister?

Sister left for...

Left?

For her heavenly abode.

Then there are two girls.

Sneha and Aditi.

Aditi...

What a pretty name, right?

Yes.

This dress? It's for Sneha.

You sure love your nieces.

No doubt.

But this dress...

...is from Aditi...

-...for her sister. -I see.

She works in Delhi.

-Delhi? -Yes.

Her wedding train is also derailed.

These days it's so tough to find a decent groom.

Yes.

Our stories are kind of similar, right?

- Yes. - Oh no!

You're looking for a bride...

...and I'm looking for a groom.

How can our stories be similar?

Oh yes.

The lord...

...works in mysterious ways.

-How so? -This problem...

...can be easily solved by us.

I don't quite follow.

What I mean, my niece...

...with your son!

My son!

That means...

both our trains are on the same track!

Well, I had booked a sleeper.

Aditi handed me an AC ticket.

-Fate! -Fortune!

Indeed.

Sometimes I feel...

...matches aren't made in heaven.

They're made by people like us!

There is no doubt.

Yes.

"It's the testing time, you've to come out winner."

Today's youth is unpredictable.

Your uncle's been calling the boy's parents angels.

No more excuses.

Come home. We've got to fix the wedding.

Are you hearing me?

The parents are angels. Doesn't mean...

...the boy will have a halo too.

Does uncle give a guarantee?

I'll look to it.

Don't argue, Aditi.

- Just take the next train home. - But dad...

I'm not listening to you.

Quietly come home and get ready for this alliance.

" It's a river of fire, we'll cross it drowning."

" It's a river of fire, we'll cross it drowning."

" It's a river of fire, we'll cross it drowning."

Your dad is not completely evil.

Not evil, just afraid.

The restrictions he put up in my childhood.

Don't ride your brother's bicycle. Tie two ponies to school.

Pull your long socks up. What will society whisper?

Even if I kill someone for once, he'll forgive me.

But if he learns about us...

...the community's going to boycott the family and then he'll come after us.

I think...

...we should shift to the US after marriage.

It's safer.

If I'm in the US, there'll be no one there for mom.

She gave her entire life to dad's convenience.

The least we can do is enliven her old age.

But here...

...both of them; brother and uncle and here.

That's why I was thinking the other day.

Why not apply at the office for a transfer to Bangalore?

Bangalore?

It's barely an hour and a half by flight.

And God forbid, in any emergency...

...we can rush back easily.

And how long will Amay and Zubina continue their charade as parents?

Point taken.

Got it!

Here.

What?

Planes keep crashing every now and then.

Even after the marriage...

...whenever this happens,...

...you tell your family Sanju's parents died on that flight.

And I'll do ditto at my folks.

With Amay and Zubina's fake funerals, this entire menagerie...

...will end, Aditi.

-What baloney, Sanju! -Baloney?

It's perfect. Why not?

Listen,...

...after the wedding...

...we'll produce a beautiful daughter like you...

...and stupefy your father.

And I mean it.

I do.

Why's the pundit taking his sweet time?

That's what he's here for.

Yes the chart is already set.

What do you mean?

I mean...

...set the table, sis.

Sanju was saying...

...it's his marriage.

Why waste time on planets?

Matching random horoscopes?

Right, brother?

He's naive.

Just more rote book knowledge...

...and less of tradition.

You check.

Relax.

Yes.

My dad yearned for...

...the entirety of his life...

...to find two horoscopes with zero flaws.

He helped make matches...

...until his death.

But he didn't find a single such couple.

Dad, your dream is now true.

Such astounding and...

...miraculous horoscopes!

What?

What are you looking at me for?

Start preparing for the wedding!

Miraculous. Beautiful.

Son, this is Aditi.

Hello!

She's made this herself.

-I see. -Wow.

-Take it. -No.

What do you do?

She has a job in Delhi.

If you take issue with it, she has no qualms quitting.

Wow.

Yeah, she'll quit.

Anyhow, she knows how to work a stove.

She multitasks easily.

Take a seat, child.

- It's all set, then. - Bittu, keep it here.

We love her.

God blesses his true devotees.

And we don't want any dowry.

The one who's been blessed by above...

...needn't ask for anything more.

Great.

Aunty, do you take trips to Jaipur often?

What?

No, to aunty...

No, son.

It's my first visit here.

My gratitude to your uncle.

Around Hauz Khas in Delhi?

Hauz Khas?

Is it a place? In Delhi?

It's the first time I'm hearing the name.

Right?

- You... - Why do you ask?

Dad, she looks familiar.

Must be a misunderstanding.

- I saw her... - Quiet!

-Quiet. -Brother sir...

Brother sir...

...we'll leave.

Leaving? But how?

No, brother sir...

...I have arthritis.

My joints jam if I sit for too long.

Wedding's fixed. We'll leave now.

Dad! They haven't even talked yet!

What need?

These two are ready already.

Already?

Already?

- I mean to say... - She means...

...with all of your blessings...

...and consent, they will be totally willing.

-Right? -How can kids refute...

...what their elders have decided for them?

All right then this wedding is fixed.

Did you see, brother-in-law?

A family of angels.

No Jatt qualities.

Truly.

Who can be a better matchmaker than uncle?

Truly.

Rightly said.

What has the world come to?

Artists now lounge around in nightclubs! That's the last straw!

It's a big problem, Aditi.

My parents are arriving on Monday.

What if Vivek calls upon us again in Delhi?

Minimise Zubina's role.

- What? - Yes.

There's no other option.

The lesser he sees you, lesser the questions.

I disagree. I disagree

-You want me to put my life on the line for her? -I...

- I disagree. - For her foolishness.

-Foolishness? -Of course.

It's called bad luck. Bad luck.

-Sanju listen to me, cut down her role. -''They went to Jaipur for the first scene''

''The next role is in Bihar''

''New faces with different different motives''

''A fake key opens the real lock''

''Give the paper''...

''Give the paper''...

...''launch name to fame''

''It's a river of fire, we'll cross it drowning''

Dad, please don't mention any dowry.

- What we'll ask... - She'll earn in a year...

...and save it. I know it; I remember.

Ring the bell.

So, after the wedding...

...they'll stay here in this house.

What do you think, Mr Singh?

You mean...

...you'll domesticate your son-in-law?

- Oh no... - Then?

This house belongs to Sanjay now.

- Yes. - We'll both be leaving for pilgrimages.

We'll barely be seen around.

- Right? - Yes.

Of course.

Getting my drift, Mr Singh?

Good enough?

It's not much, just a hut.

It's all yours now.

They's Sanju's grandparents.

I wanted to say..

After they wed, the house is theirs.

Yes.

We will be leaving for pilgrimages.

We'll barely be seen around.

First, the real entourage of Sanjay Singh from Bihar...

...will come to Delhi.

After that, Sanjay Bhalotia...

-Bhalotia. -Present here!

I'll bring my fake family to Jaipur...

...where Aditi Karwasra will wed in reality.

This is Aditi's real family. Take a look.

But we need more than just a pair of parents.

We need family, too.

That's when you guys come in.

''This is a gift that fate has thrust in our hands.''

''On the weird beats of life''...

...'' we dance away''

''We'll roll the dice''...

...'' and see if it's a win or a loss''...

...'' a ladder of help or we'll get bit''...

...'' by a snake''

Can you try talking to Sanju?

He might just take you seriously.

Tell him, there's no other option than to settle in the US.

Please.

Don't tell him I told you.

Okay.

When you face our real relatives,...

...please speak as little as possible.

Okay. Always remember,...

...if you can't convince them,...

...confuse them.

''It's a river of fire, we'll cross it drowning.''

''It's a river of fire, we'll cross it drowning.''

Hold on.

-Who's getting married? -She.

-So who'll get trolled? -You.

Yo..

Sanju...

- Sir. - Finished?

Yeah.

I'll get you one more, come.

Okay. Drinks anyone?

Drinks? Beer?

Beer.

- No one? - One more.

So when is the flight?

- Flight? - There's still time.

Excited, huh?

No, sir.

You know how things are.

I'll be going home and coming back here in two days.

It's crazy.

But she's really happy.

Get her married every day and she'll love every second.

So, I have some good news for you.

- Really? - Yes.

I was in touch with the Bangalore office.

And right before, Aditi's confirmation came from Boston.

- Boston? - Yes.

I mean everything happened pretty quickly.

And we were discussing a project on Skype.

...and...

...you know how good she is, right?

- So it's done. - Yeah I...

Without an interview? I mean...

- How? - I put in a word for you as well.

It'll all be set.

Frankly speaking,...

...given your circumstances...

...I think going to the US is the best option.

What's here anyway?

Right?

Right?

Right?

I'll get this.

Everyone's waiting eagerly for your stories.

There's still time for the flight, right?

What are you doing?

You're going off without saying farewell? Won't the guys outside feel upset?

It all premeditated, right?

- What was? - Please stop acting.

Despite agreeing on Bangalore...

...all this while you were in contact with Boston!

And it was boss whom you sent to convince me, Aditi?

- Sit down and we'll talk. - We did talk, right?

- No, we didn't. - Then what was that?

You were too emotional that day.

Sanju, you were difficult to reason with.

- Difficult to reason with? - Yes.

- Really? - You...

Let's talk it out, Sanju.

Sanju, storming off suddenly is no solution...

Bangalore is an hour and a half away by flight.

If they get even an inkling, they'll be there instantly.

Sanju, when we have a getaway pass from all this...

...why risk it at all?

Because mom is left alone after Shweta ran.

If I shift to the US,...

...how many times will I be able to see her?

Leaving the battleground is easy; the fight is the test.

And we talked about fighting together.

Right?

We'll invite mom to stay with us.

And you think she'll uproot everything, leave dad and come?

- We're leaving everything too! - It's easy for us!

For her, everyone's equal; equally important!

Why can't you get this?

Even the US is just a day far.

Why would we tell her...

- ...that we're in Boston? - Aditi,...

...if death is in our fortune it'll follow us anywhere.

Anywhere and everywhere.

Guns and bullets are easily available there.

But your family won't even clear the visa interview.

Really?

Sanju, I'm sorry.

Listen.

Listen...

...we'll convince mom and she'll consent.

Guess you know my mother better than me?

Right?

-"The bridal heart sinks like a rock" -Sanju.

"May someone placate it now"

- Let's go. - "She calls to her henna-dyed hands"

"To help give her a solution"

"The groom is also conflicted"

"Why does the thorn of love prick us in pain"

"The knot in our relations"

"Needs to be untied by someone"

Yes, my greetings.

I can't hear- There's pure chaos here!

Yeah, because it's a wedding house!

"The groom is here bringing the bride riding a horse"

"Get the turmeric and we'll apply it really well"

"The groom is here bringing the bride riding a horse"

"Get the turmeric and we'll apply it really well"

"My eyes are filled with many dreams"

"With the turmeric I mix in blessings"

"All the joys in the world"

"may my son get them all"

"Come smear this on him"

"Let his clothes be coloured with happiness"

"Come all aunties"...

.."shower him with blessings"

"Turmeric paste, kohl and vermillion"...

"Turmeric paste, kohl and vermillion"...

"My son looks like Ram"

"Sing away"

"The groom will bring the bride riding a horse"

"Get the turmeric and we'll apply it really well"

"The groom will bring the bride riding a horse"

"Get the turmeric and smear it really well"

"Donning hope the groom leaves"

"Sing away"

"Look at his face shine"

"Sing away"

"From playing on her lap to getting married, his mother watches"

"From feeding him blessings to loving him his mother watches"

"The groom will bring the bride riding a horse"

"Get the turmeric and smear it really well"

"The groom will"

"The groom will"

"The groom will bring the bride riding a horse"

"The groom has arrived on a horse to get his bride"

Please come, o bride, we wait eagerly"

"The groom has arrived on a horse to get his bride"

"Please come, o bride, we wait eagerly"

"The groom has arrived on a horse to get his bride"

"Please come, o bride, we wait eagerly"

"The groom has arrived on a horse to get his bride"

"Please come, o bride, we wait eagerly"

"The groom has arrived on a horse to get his bride"

- "Please come, o bride, we wait eagerly" - Smile a little.

It's our first marriage. Photos will not turn out good.

"All dressed up, guests wait eagerly"

"The groom has arrived to get his bride"

"All dressed up, guests wait eagerly"

My child...

...is leaving our nest!

Apple of my eye!

Oh good lord!

God!

Zubina, take it down a notch.

I can't match your acting prowess.

Quiet down.

The band party has left and she's still blowing her trumpet.

Stop her, someone!

Quiet down.

-Hello. -Have said your vows, little brother?

Shweta!

How's my sister-in-law doing?

She's doing great.

We work at the same office.

Wow.

Hope you don't bully her around for chores?

No, sister.

Each time she cooks, I am assigned to the dishwashing duty.

Sanju,...

...is she the one with whom you chatted those late nights...

...secretly under your blanket?

You knew all along?

-Her name's Aditi, right? -Yes.

I am your elder sister, remember?

So I kept it to myself.

I'm happy for you, brother.

The girl you fell in love with is from our caste.

I feel ashamed that I couldn't do anything for you.

I'm no damsel in distress.

Arpit keeps me very happy.

You always stayed away from home.

You wouldn't know their narrow mentalities and hypocrisies. I did.

There's no point sacrificing your happiness for them.

Sanju!

-Come, brother. -Right behind you.

But...

I'll be right with you. Go on.

-Hello, Sanju? Can you hear me? -I'm here, sister.

Chhotu came to call me.

Mom's been worried sick about you.

Tell her all is fine.

Does James Bond ever get caught?

And tell Aditi that when I meet her...

... she'd better hone her cooking.

Sisters-in-law deserve special treatment, right?

Of course. When are you arriving?

I will, soon.

There's a different story behind this wedding too.

I'll explain it all later.

Take care. I need to go now. We'll talk later.

(cacophony of traditional welcome songs)

Out of the way! What is all this crowd?

We must make the bride feel welcome; not scare her.

Driver, roll down the windows.

Darling just two minutes.

Not letting these busy bees buzz around for you for long.

"Ram and Sita stand gracefully"

..."on the doorstep, dear friend."

"Ram and Sita stand together"

..."on the doorstep, dear friend"

"Somebody wake me"...

..."for I can't believe my eyes"

"Your presence illuminates all I can see"

"The lights of the lamps shimmer in your grace"

"A new glow has spread in my house"

"Joy glitters in my eyes"

"What luck it of mine truly"

"To have you between us"

"The aroma of your presence"

"pervades all I see"

"What luck it of mine truly to have you between us "

"What luck it of mine truly to have you between us "

"In deep red colour"...

..." you look ethereal"

"This courtyard blooms lik a meadow"

"You step in"...

..."with feet adorned in vermillion"

"I just can't hold"...

..."my tears of joy; they trickle"

"My eyes and lips"...

..."seem contrary to each other"

"My mind convinces the heart"...

.."of forthcoming joys"

"Your feet are getting washed"...

..."by a stream of my tears"

"Ram and Sita stand together"...

..."the doorstep, o friend"

"Somebody pinch me"...

..."for I can't believe my luck"

"Your arrival brightened up the place"

Arpit's house has been getting calls from unknown numbers.

Who is the caller?

We're still figuring it out. We'll get back to you.

So what are you presenting me your faces for?

-Sorry, sir. -Sorry? Get lost.

Sister! Dad's consented to send me to Kolkata.

Oh wow! Congratulations.

Dad told me I should be thanking you. When are you coming back home?

Everyone's stressing about your wedding. I'll be leaving for Kolkata soon.

There's a huge workload at the office. I'll come in three, four days.

There'll be work everyday, sis. It's not everyday you get married.

I'll come soon.

So I'll catch you later. Okay, Sneha? Bye.

(faking accent) Excuse me?

There's a wedding at my house too.

And people are murmuring that the bride is late.

When will she reach home?

Tell me.

She'll reach in a couple of days.

Make sure the bride and the mother-in-law don't keep talking constantly...

...or she won't reach on time.

Besides, it's the bride at fault here.

She's busy huddling with her mom-in-law...

...forgetting she'll be leaving in a day or two.

I was so afraid of your rituals.

But mom made it all look so easy.

At the back of my mind,...

...we had court marriage and elopement as a backup.

But everything happened so smoothly, so nicely.

Feels like a miracle, Sanju.

Hey!

I'm sorry.

For the fight at the night party?

-I may have overreacted a little. -A little?

Will some natural calamity befall us...

... if you decide to stay for the next couple days?

But no!

An important appraisal at work,

If I take too many leaves, they won't hesitate to leave me forever.

He wants to become a big shot!

Money holds more value than real parents, right?

-Ugh, this connection! -What happened?

She's getting us checked-in, mom. Internet's down since the morning.

Listen, mail me the details. I'll go down to the cyber cafe and finish it.

No one's leaving anywhere.

You barely have four hours.

And even in those, he wants to go wandering!

Aditi, ring Chhotu up. When will he come of use?

(Mimicking mother) Aditi! Call Chhotu, he'll get it done.

Pintu print out coming through.

Hand it over.

What an antique machine. I can see moss growing within the keys.

Get your shit together.

What?

Aditi Kar-

Can't finish one job without bothering me, huh?

-Bark. -I won't be barking, brother...

...but biting.

What did you think? You consider all of us idiots!

You faked the girl to be our caste and brought her home?

She hails from Jaipur, right?

Different surname...

-Brother, brother, let's talk about it. -Relax.

We'll be talking at length at home, along with...

...your dad, my dad, grandpa and everybody.

Buddy, listen to me.

Where are you right now?

Just on my way to your execution.

Aditi! Chhotu knows everything.

Grab what you get your hands on, we're leaving.

What do you mean Chhotu knows?

-Sanju! - "Within the valleys of the mind"

"my carriage of dreams in you"

"in you"

"I see my green earth"

"And my blue sky in you in you"

"in you"

"You're the smile on my lips"

" The tear of my eye is you"

"is you"

"In the lost lanes of time"

"The familiar face is you"

"is you"

"Within the valleys of the mind"

"my carriage of dreams"

For Gurgaon?

Sanju brother!

For Gurgaon?

Brother Sanju!

-Let's go. Let's go. -Sanju brother!

Sanju brother!

-Finally got my hands on you. -Aditi, run!

- Aditi, run! Run! - Brother Sanju!

Where are you running? Sanju brother, where are you going?

- Listen to me.. - Look, Chhotu...

Where are you running, brother? I didn't tell anyone anything.

- I swear. - Better speak the truth, Chhotu.

Why would I lie, brother?

Do you think that evil of me?

After sister's elopement, do you think I could...

...afford to lose you too?

I'm truly not wicked brother.

Come here.

My heart's in the right place. My lips were sealed. No one knows.

Both of you need to come to Aditi's home.

Uncle and aunty are at her place bubbling with anger.

-My place? -Yes.

Initially, I had thought of blackmail to extort some favours out of you.

But this dweeb switched off his phone and fled.

Uncle was red in the face.

He called her father.

Uh, sister-in-law, he is really your dad, right?

Good god.

He has no idea either.

Uncle thought that it was a case of abduction. Who'll tell him...

... it is of fraud instead.

I couldn't see them like that.

So I got them here by flight.

I knew you'd board a train since you missed your flight.

-I also knew... -Alright, keep quiet now.

What excuse do we give?

Shall we kill our boss?

Let's kill him.

(friendly chattering)

Move...

- Brother-in-law! - Sanjay!

How are you?

- I'm good, and you? - I'm fine too.

How about we take it inside?

Let's sit inside.

Is this seat already booked by someone else?

No.

- No. No. - Then sit.

Okay, this works fine too. No problem.

-I'll be back. -No.

It'll be a moment.

You seem flustered?

-Me? -Yes.

-Why have you switched off your phones? -Screw that, why is brother Vivek here?

How would I know? He's right in my lap!

- Where are Sanjay's mom and dad? - In the room.

Crap!

Come inside.

Go on, take it.

Here you go.

Your house is like mine now.

So is your stress. So hand over your stress to me.

All your problems are mine now.

- And your house... - Well...

...how's Aditi?

Just ditto like you.

Her phone's off too. Buried in office work.

Wonder..

They'll make a great pair then. Like two peas in a pod!

Isn't your dear mother around?

She's...

She's gone to the beauty salon.

Beauty salon?

Why would she ever need any beauty salon?

What I mean is her face betrays her age!

Our boss passed away suddenly, mother.

Yes.

It wouldn't have been wise to miss the funeral.

So, we had to...

... leave earlier instead of flying out in the evening.

You mean...

... fleeing without informing first.

No, not at all, father. I did tell Sanjay...

... to inform you first.

But then he pointed out that talk of death...

... in a wedding house is a bad omen.

Besides, he did tell you about the appraisal.

Now if the whole office turns up for the funeral, and they notice our absence,...

...it will affect our increment also. Right, mother?

I'm sorry for hurting you.

Sorry, father. Sorry, mother.

I'll be taking your leave.

- Yes. - Come.

Come. Well...

... say hello to your wife.

I mean, give her my regards.

-Sure. Regards. -This way.

Sanjay, consider me a sponge now.

I'll absorb all your stress.

So you can chill.

Come.

Come.

Sanjay, who are they?

They're from a clingy NGO.

Keep your eyes off them.

They are looking to honeytrap donors like you.

They're pretty persistent.

- Then I'd better buzz off. - Come.

If this happens again,...

...not my mouth, but my shoes...

... will be doing the talking.

Absolutely and truly!

Are these the values I've taught you, Aditi?

You've got your parents-in-law all bothered!

Who disappears just like that?

Come on, hold your ears.

Apologize.

-Sorry, father. -Sorry, father.

So many degrees and yet behaving like buffoons!

Calm down, brother sir, calm down.

It wasn't that big of a deal.

On this pretext we will live with them for another day or two.

I was anyway reluctantly sending them.

I had prayed to God...

... to be able to take you to a holy pilgrimage after marriage.

Since we've come all this way no better time to do that too.

Aditi? You'll be coming, right?

We'll have a great time.

The wedding's in five days in Jaipur.

I'll have to fly there tomorrow morning. Send them back.

How can I just simply send them back?

Do you sense what's cooking here?

Our presence here causing them great distress.

Fine, keep them here. They've planned a nice family holiday.

How about we hand them our new wedding card?

We'll have a great time.

Unbelievable.

They're freshly married.

We've come here as uninvited guests.

Poor kids aren't able to have a moment alone.

Is that what your surmised?

Now only God will help us.

Meaning when he closes a door...

... he opens two more!

-What's going on? -'What's happening, Aditi?'

'Don't you want to get married?'

'All relatives have arrived already. And their questions are piling up.'

'What do you expect me to say?'

Papa, the train got cancelled because of the fog,

or I'd be there by now.

Due to the fog?

'First wedding in the family and the bride is amiss!'

Sorry, papa.

'The only apology I need is the one after you arrive.'

Yes papa, I'll be there.

-'Bye.' -Okay.

Ram Ram.

'Sir, there's a phone number...'

'... that keeps calling the Arpit's family.'

'The same number has been calling Sanjay many times.'

'Hope I'm making sense, sir?'

Dad, I needed to talk to you about something.

Go ahead.

Meenal, Aditi's childhood friend...

...is getting married in Jaipur.

You're calling her a friend?

She's more like family.

Meenal is another daughter to me.

For their wedding...

... she arrived a week in advance to help around.

If we don't go, father, won't she feel bad?

Besides, the tickets are already booked.

The money will go wasted otherwise.

All right. You can go.

Thank you, father.

Well do one more thing.

Book two tickets more.

I've never seen a Jaipur wedding before.

But I... I thought mother wanted to go to for her pilgrimage?

I thought we'd attend the wedding, and meanwhile, you can finish your pilgrimage.

Mother, a comfy car and a hotel room are waiting for you.

And you needn't even climb the mountain.

A helicopter will fly you directly up the mountain.

- Directly? - That's great.

But son, it'd be way better if we had...

...the both of you with us. Isn't that right?

- Yes, but... - Oh, come on!

Youngsters these days aren't very fond of temples.

Or are they?

They want to go for a tour.

Why stop them? You'll be attending a wedding, right?

Yes, we will.

Okay.

Father, I was thinking I'll take Chhotu with us.

He'll be more than happy to see the Amer fort.

-Chhotu? -Yes.

But if there's any...

No, its great.

First, he speaks to Shweta on call.

Then he runs away from home.

And now he's running to attend a wedding in Jaipur...

... with daughter-in-law and Chhotu.

Whose wedding bells are calling him so loudly and urgently?

Are you getting the picture?

'Yes, sir. Totally'

I guess the ending of Shweta's story will be in Jaipur.

So gather your sniffing dogs.

-'Okay, sir.' -The hunt is ending.

-Okay. -Bye.

"A knight riding a horse Has come for his wedding"

"We finally arrived with a smile The bride's family, wait a while"

"Marriage is a grand affair Dance till you lose your hair"

"Change the party, come to us We got the orchestra"

"Let the food turn cold We'll finish it and all extra"

"Keep the pundit on hold We'll get him to recite the chants"

"The groom is jittery as if he'll get sacrificed"

"Tell the queen The king's here to get her"

"An entourage is no good if it's not late"

"What's the hurry? Let them wait"

"An entourage is no good if it's not late"

"What's the hurry? Let them wait"

"Very sorry Sorry"

"We'll dance away today"

"We got the band with us... Come make some noise"

"Nobody should stop me today Come make some noise"

"Please come, silly son-in-law"

"Please come, silly son-in-law"

"Your mom-in-law Your mom-in-law beckons"

"Come over, I'll pamper you"

"Your mom-in-law beckons Come over, we'll enter grandly"

"come make some noise."

"come make some noise."

"come make some noise."

"A knight riding a horse Has come for-"

What's wrong?

"Scared? Lost all your marbles now?"

Brother-in-law!

"Welcome to the family, brother-in-law"

Welcome.

Thank you, brother-in-law!

"Come get up, get up"

-Don't you want to get it started? -Where's the groom party from?

They're from Delhi.

Did you spot a distant relative?

Greetings, madam.

Is the groom your son?

Or what? Is he yours?

Is there some connection you have with Bihar?

Excuse me, fellow! Are you a man or a maths book?

Why so many questions?

Go check why the DJ isn't playing a bollywood number.

Choose an item number. Go now.

'The GPS is on, sir' 'Triangulation is working as well.'

'I've held the police there.'

'They'll be ready to go at your command.'

Step on the accelerator.

Sanju will never lie to me.

I say with conviction that it's a friend's wedding.

When you see Shweta...

... ready to be married...

... you'll know...

... how royally your son and daughter-in-law have screwed you over.

'Hello.'

Hello sir.

-This is Mishra speaking. -Mishra who?

'Jayant Mishra, sir.'

I had booked tickets for your son's wedding.

Alright, go on.

I needed a favour from you, sir.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

What are they doing?

Marrying in every house?

They're same.

Vivek!

-Police stopped us when were leaving... -Vivek!

- Vivek... - ... and I said "Bullet or blows?

Mr. Mishra has appeared!

All liquor is waiting upstairs.

Go have a quick sip or two quickly...

...or else don't complain about being duped later!

You're the one being duped tonight.

I didn't get it.

May I speak freely, sister-in-law? Don't hit me.

Your younger sister is looking like a heart-stealer.

How about you introduce us?

- Hello. - Hello.

Yes, son. What is it? Speak now.

Do you see what game your daughter is playing?

Aditi, who's that man?

-Which man? -The one talking to your dad and brother.

He's not from the office team.

Why does it feel that I've seen him somewhere?

Why would he seem familiar to you? He's a friend of uncle's.

Aditi, I've met him somewhere before.

The chump was questioning Miss Zubina a lot too.

- Is it? - Yes.

He runs a small travel agency outside the railway station.

-Mishra Tours and Travels? -Yes.

Your journey with ease, for a low fees.

Oh no!

Father booked tickets from him for our first wedding.

-What? -Everything's ruined.

Everything.

All these guests all this money.

Our family's honour is in the dirt!

What face shall I show to my foreign business associates?

Brother-in-law, give it a calm thought.

What would have people said in the village if they had eloped secretly?

They did this keeping you in mind...

... so you could wed them yourself.

You were the one who brought the proposal, right?

Who can be a better matchmaker than uncle?

-You.. -Not now, dad.

Dad is boiling with anger, guys. Mishra told him everything.

It's fortunate that we have some bullets left after the entrance.

They'll be useful now.

Mr Mishra and uncle wait here...

... and keep an eye on everyone. Nobody must go anywhere.

Chhotu...

... get the office people on board and tell them to abort the mission.

Run, Chhotu.

Bittu, where are they bullets?

Upstairs. In room 208.

Come. Let's go, dad.

Come on.

If you value your life, run.

Run immediately.

First, let's evacuate the guests one by one.

Then we'll deal with them.

What will our family elders say?

No one has ever seen such a scandal in our family.

We'll settle the scores today, dad.

We won't let them die out so easily.

Let's go.

The groom's mother is missing.

She has a whole different story, dad.

-We'll kill her first. -Kill anyone you want.

But don't touch Aditi.

There's something worse waiting for her.

-Where are they? -I don't see anyone.

Come on. Come fast.

-Hey. -There.

Dad!

Clingy NGO people?

Come here, you.

-Fill this up. -No, mister.

It's not allowed to fill it up.

I'll advise you to fill the car up instead.

Come here.

What is it? Not getting through your skull?

How much should I fill?

I have to set ten to twelve people on fire.

Fill it up accordingly.

Have you seen the open gutter at the back of the highway?

That's where I'll throw your chopped pieces.

You won't be doing anything. It'll be us who'll take the real action.

Your sister has driven my name in the sewer.

I will feed her to the dogs.

-Hey old man! I'll shoot him right now, dad. -Vivek, wait.

Just because you have a pistol doesn't mean...

... you can whip it around mindlessly.

- Uncle... - Quiet!

- I'll deal with her later.

Take whatever action you want against me.

But please let Sanju go unscathed.

He didn't run away. He did all this for your sake.

-Shut up! -Consider it delicately...

... before Vivek does something you later regret.

Dad!

At your own will, you married a guy of another caste?

What had you thought coming here? That we'll never learn the truth?

Vivek...

...set the boy and his fake father on fire

Hey!

Lock Aditi up in a room.

We'll keep her locked up for a few weeks.

Then we'll get her married again.

Nobody will ever hear of it.

We'll keep our honour intact.

But I'm married already. Isn't it, dad. This is the second time.

Exactly. This is a repeat telecast.

The real game has been played in Delhi with uncle's presence.

Shut up!

Even if you get me married again...

... do you really think I'll keep my mouth shut?

- You... - Unbelievable.

- How she blabbers such filth!

There's only one way out. Chop them into pieces and throw them away.

-Don't talk nonsense! -Quiet!

Start making the guests leave. Then we'll see to all of them.

-And how will you answer their questions? -Keep your mouth shut!

Why should she? We don't see anything wrong in what we did.

And when the questions begin to pile up...

... about aborting the pompous ceremony all of a sudden...

... what shall you say?

What will you say, dad?

Tell us, dad.

The both of you, come with me.

Where?

You will tell everyone...

...that your son is of unsound mind.

- Who's son is of unsound mind?

Hence the bride party calls off the wedding.

Who's son is of unsound mind?

Dear in-law, I'd urge you to think this through.

If the guests leave on an empty stomach...

... they will resort to chattering rumours.

Yes, people will talk behind your back.

Some might say that maybe your dowry was insufficient.

Questions shall be splashed on Aditi's character.

Bittu, pour the petrol on the boy's father.

- No, wait! - Stop!

- Hold on! - Stop it!

Dear in-law, kindly contemplate coolly. Think what it was that you wanted.

That the kids marry into good, prosperous families. They remain happy.

The ceremony is grand and pompous.

That's exactly what's happening. Then why all this ruckus?

Look around you. People are licking their fingers lavishly.

Everyone's contented.

Yes, uncle. Ask my uncle...

... what chaos ensues after a daughter's scandal.

-You... -Uncle...

- You're dead meat. - Dad! No, dad!

Dad...

... put the gun down. Lower it, please. Lower it.

Just think about it.

If they had wished, they'd eloped long ago like us.

What could you done then? Nothing! Couldn't have even found them.

Even after all of it, they're bent...

... marrying as per your customs just so they see you happy.

Why are you wasting your energy, sister?

Their vision is polluted by the lenses of society.

All that matters to them is what people say about them...

... even if it means ruining our lives.

Kill all of them!

Conclude it all.

Pump them with bullets. Set them ablaze. Incinerate the whole family.

And then sit with your pride all alone in your mansion.

You've lived out more than half of your life, dad.

But ours is just beginning.

Don't you want your own children to be happy?

What drama is this?

Oh leave it! Bittu, pour the petrol on his parents.

Yes, but on the real ones or the fake ones?

Where's everyone vanished?

Did some guest get popped during the firing?

Very possible.

At Varsha's wedding, it was the groom who got blasted.

-What? -Yes.

Did you hear?

At Varsha's wedding, it was the groom who got blasted.

Vivek, you don't need to do this.

-We'll sit down and talk it out. -Bittu.

-What are you doing? -Move.

Hey! What are you doing?

- Stop! - Someone stop him!

-Sanjay! -What insanity is this?

People'll chatter for a couple of days.

Then it'll fade away. They'll forget; it's what happens.

-That's what will happen. -And if you get caught?

-If you get caught, they'll hang you all, dad. -They're lying.

Your foreign investors will repel you. They'll dispose of your business.

Think calmly, dad.

Hashtag 'Boycott Karwasra Industries' will trend on Social media.

What refuge will you have then?

You'll be surrounded by human rights activists banning your business.

-Bittu, light the fire. -Hey! Vivek, stop...

- He has lost his marbles. - What are you all doing?

And if the news about me and Sanjay gets leaked even slightly...

...who'll marry Sneha?

She's right, dad.

And since you won't be able to get me married...

...set me ablaze as well.

Shut up!

They're trying to manipulate us to prove themselves right, dad!

Brother-in-law, try to get the bigger picture.

Even if you kill us you'll still lose face.

Let everything happen just as it is happening right now...

... and you'll walk with your honour intact.

And if your honour is unharmed, then why the killing?

Let things run as smoothly as they already are, dad.

Everyone will be happy.

Business and honour, both will be safe.

-Don't let them fool you, dad. -Shut up!

- Quiet down! - Don't listen to them, please.

Lower the gun.

Lower it.

What's the matter, Dharampal? Why've the wedding rituals stopped?

Hope nothing unseemly has happened?

If there's some hitch, tell you uncle.

He's drenched in petrol.

-Is this some sort of hobby? -Ponder again, dad.

You're a flourishing businessman. Don't cut a bad deal.

Tell them the truth, dad. I want no more drama.

What is he saying, Dharampal?

Well...

Dharampal, look tell the truth to your uncle.

Uncle...

-...the thing is... -Dad!

Don't set yourself ablaze, dad.

What about mummy?

Don't do such a thing for meat. Don't do this for meat. Please don't.

-Mummy, why don't you say something to him? -Yes.

That's the way of the world, son.

-Whatever will be, will be. -Exactly.

-But why is setting himself on fire? -I'll explain everything, uncle.

My whole family is pure vegetarian.

My parents saw the meat on the menu and boiled up.

They are saying they will call off the wedding right away.

That's why my dad got infuriated and now wants to immolate himself.

- Uncle, he's lying. - I'm saying the truth.

I will truly set myself on fire!

Uncle, they are phony parents.

Phony are your manners!

-You're phony. - Bloody meat-eaters.

-Phony's your father. -Uncle.

-Uncle... - No, dad.

Please Stop! Good, very good!

This thing's been blown out of proportion, uncle...

Don't let your Aditi's life get ruined. Don't let it get ruined like this.

- No child. - Dharampal!

Is this the truth?

-Is it true, Mr Dharampal? -Tell them, dad.

Tell them.

Uncle...

...this is all Vivek's blunder.

-Really? -What?

-I... -Shut up.

-Uncle... -Shut up!

The elders are speaking!

Keep quiet!

Uncle...

... he got really careless.

He forgot that the groom's family are pure vegetarians.

He got angry and upset.

He says he'll die before letting the wedding go through.

Bittu give me the matches.

No!

- I'll immolate myself! - No!

I will kill myself.

-They don't understand. -Dad...

-I want to burn out like a firecracker. -Uncle.

Vivek will burn my wedding house down before it's built.

Don't let your Aditi's life get ruined.

Mom!

Dharampal, this marriage can't, and won't be compromised.

-But, uncle.. -Keep quiet!

Carelessness is common at your age. Mistakes happen.

-Uncle, listen to me. -Keep quiet!

Is a leg piece more important than family peace?

Is a leg piece more important than family peace?

Speak up.

Lost your tongue, boy?

No, sir.

Then hurry up and whisk away the non-veg dishes...

... and start preparing the rituals.

Another thing double the dowry.

- Papa's fine now. - We are ready too.

Uncle!

What would we have done without you?

-Didn't even need the fire brigade. -Didn't even need the fire brigade.

Dharampal, do this.

Take Aditi to the ritual stage.

I don't want to see tears in her eyes today.

Vivek for everyone's sake, don't interfere.

Let the vows commence. Understand what I'm telling you.

- Uncle! - Uncle!

My blessings.

My blessings.

Do you become fake parents professionally...

...or is it just for them?

-Just this once... -You can make a full career out of it.

Our country will always need great artists like you.

Did you ever imagine that you'd be mingling here with the entire family?

Never. But you made it possible.

-I did nothing. -Sanju...

...what about uncle?

Don't worry. Now he won't be saying anything.

How about you honour this?

Take it.

I am Mrs. Gupta.

I was their maternal aunt in the first wedding.

And paternal aunt in the second.

We work in the same office. In the HR department.

-Namaste. -Namaste.

And I was the elder brother on both occasions. Anuj Mathur.

-Namaste. -I'm the boss in their company.

But hadn't you died already?

Tell your master...

... he'd give me a discount next time I drink at his bar.

Aren't we relatives now?

Oh!

The alcoholic!

"Oh she shines"

"Oh she shines"

"Sometimes I'm salty"

"Sometimes like vanilla ice-cream"

"Like a tequila shot that hits you hard"

"Sometimes I'm salty or like vanilla ice-cream"

""Like a tequila shot that hits you hard"

"Hit is our pairing"

"one in a trillion"

-"It fires everywhere" -"like bungle in the jungle"

"Turn off the lights, baby is shining"

"Turn off the lights baby is shining"

"Baby is shining"

"Baby is shining"

"Baby is shining"

"Baby is shining"

"Shining"

"Shining"

"Your sandals go tick tick are like hit songs"

"Your walk is like a song on the loop"

"The shine of my lip gloss lights up the heart"

"Swirl on the terrace once and the stars go blinking at night"

"'My moves"

"One in a trillion"

"Set the leaves ablaze"

"Like fun in the jungle"'

"Turn off the lights, Baby is shining"

"Turn off the lights baby is shining"

"Baby is shining"

"Baby is shining"

"Baby is shining"

"Baby is shining"

"Shining"

"Shining"

"The way you injured my heart gave me sweet pain"

"The way you injured my heart gave me sweet pain"

"My beloved"

"My beloved"

"I like you"

"I like you"

"Baby is shining"

"Baby is shining"

"Baby is shining"

"Baby is shining"