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1
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:48,840
Just three sacks of mail for you
this morning.
2
00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:52,320
The usual marriage requests, posies,
knick-knacks.
3
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:55,360
An invitation for you
to speak in Parliament.
4
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,400
Several pairs of ladies
under things,
5
00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:00,280
and just one claim you sired
someone's child.
6
00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,240
Please, God, no more children.
7
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,080
And there's one for me
from my publisher,
8
00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:09,520
asking when they might expect the
cookbook they commissioned from me.
9
00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,280
This letter bears the Royal Seal.
10
00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:14,520
From Queen Victoria herself.
11
00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:17,400
She's heard of my acclaimed
portrayal
12
00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:19,280
in our production of The Frozen Deep
13
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:22,520
and writes to request a private
command performance.
14
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,520
-For when?
-Before she leaves for
Balmoral for the summer.
15
00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:27,680
But there's no time.
We both have books to finish.
16
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,200
I must gather the cast.
17
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,880
We shall rehearse in the
drawing room at every opportunity.
18
00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:33,320
(SIGHS)
19
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:37,480
To play to her Imperial Majesty
places one beyond criticism.
20
00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:39,920
Not that I've ever been the
recipient of a bad review,
21
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:42,360
whether literary or indeed thespian.
22
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,840
Another billet-doux from Copenhagen.
23
00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:52,760
"In honour of St Valentine, I send
my fondest desirings
24
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:56,320
to one whose work I could not love
more largely.
25
00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,800
Hans Christian Andersen."
26
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:00,440
Warrants a reply, wouldn't you say?
27
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,160
I think it best you don't
encourage him.
28
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,160
He is a devoted reader and Dickens
enthusiast.
29
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:06,600
Letters from Mr Andersen...
30
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:08,360
I will not discourage someone who
exhibits
31
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,840
such exceedingly good taste.
32
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,480
..56, 57.
33
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:16,000
Am I to assume the Valentine card
from you, my loving husband,
34
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:17,920
is in the afternoon post?
35
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:20,800
'My dearest Hans...'
36
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,200
"Clara... Clara... Clara..."
37
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,040
"Clara, kiss me."
38
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:36,360
"Oh, kiss me, Clara."
39
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,280
(DOORBELL RINGS)
I'm in the bath!
40
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,000
"Kiss me, sister."
41
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:46,160
"Kiss ME, sister. Kiss me..."
42
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,000
(DOORBELL RINGS)
I'm in the bath!
43
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,160
(MUSIC PLAYING)
44
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:57,840
(DOORBELL RINGS, KNOCK AT DOOR)
45
00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,840
(IN THE DISTANCE) "..my sister..."
46
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,600
(DOORBELL RINGS)
47
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,160
Will someone attend to the door?!
48
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,720
(DOORBELL RINGS REPEATEDLY)
49
00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,320
(SIGHS)
50
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:10,720
(DOOR SHUTS)
51
00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:12,360
-Hello.
-Hello.
52
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:15,760
(MUTTERING) ..at this ungodly hour.
53
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:18,600
Hans?
54
00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:20,240
My own Dickens.
55
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,760
Good Lord.
56
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,600
(LAUGHS)
57
00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:26,640
What brings you to my door?
Your invitation.
58
00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:28,280
My what?(CHUCKLES)
59
00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:34,520
"My dearest Hans.
If ever you happen to be in England,
60
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,760
you'll be most welcome at
Gad's Hill."
61
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,040
I ever happen to be in England.
62
00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:42,920
-Hello!
-Ah...
63
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:44,920
Charles, to whom are you talking?
64
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,000
The house of Dickens.
Catherine...
65
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,400
this is Hans Christian Andersen.
66
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:51,040
Hans, please meet my wife,
Catherine.
67
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:52,840
The wife of Dickens.
68
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,920
(SMOOCHES)
Oh.
69
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:59,400
We've been expecting a visit from
Mr Andersen, haven't we, my dear?
70
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,880
Of course.
71
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,520
It is such a delightful surprise
to finally meet you
72
00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:07,080
after all of your tireless
correspondence.
73
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,320
Oh, you're staying with us.
74
00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:11,400
These will be the happiest days
of my life.
75
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,800
How wonderful.
76
00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:20,440
Here you are.
A Timber Doodle to set you right.
77
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,280
Most esteemed Dickens.
78
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,960
I have for you a gift.
79
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:31,800
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
80
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:37,920
"To Be Or Not To Be,
by Hans Christian Andersen."
81
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,040
The children will be delighted!
82
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,280
No, no, no.
It is a novel for the adults.
83
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,720
I wish to be a writer of serious,
like you.
84
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,080
"For Charles Dickens."
85
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,000
Oh, Hans.
86
00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:54,480
You should read it. Read it tonight.
87
00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,240
In bed.
88
00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:59,000
This is a book that should be
savoured.
89
00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:00,680
I must take my time.
90
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,640
Yes. Yes, you are right.
91
00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:04,680
You should begin it now.
92
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,760
It is, I dare to say,
a master's piece.
93
00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:10,280
Read it.
94
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:11,920
Yeah. I will watch.
95
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:17,680
I should see how Mrs Dickens fares.
96
00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:24,560
I have had to remove all my work
from the guest bedroom
97
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,480
to accommodate Mr Andersen.
98
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,520
What on Earth is he doing here?
99
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,480
It's quite the mystery.
How long is he staying?
100
00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:31,960
Oh, not long. I'm sure.
101
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,400
I do hope not.
102
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:36,120
I was midway through writing up my
recipe for badger ham.
103
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:39,240
Oh, I love badger ham!
I'm already behind on my deadline.
104
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:41,440
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
105
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,040
Dickens!
106
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:46,640
(PANTING) You are great England's
national treasure maybe.
107
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,240
But you forgot my book. Definitely.
108
00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:51,840
Oh, so I did.
It is impressively upsetting.
109
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,080
Your room is ready, Mr Andersen.
110
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,680
Mrs Dickens, I have for you.
111
00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,560
Oh, how lovely.
112
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,160
And this is...
113
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,200
It is my special bowl for my
eatings.
114
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:06,560
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
115
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,200
(DOOR CLOSES) Oh.
Good morning, Mr Andersen.
116
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:17,680
Did you sleep well?
117
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:21,640
Terribly. It must be the most
uncomfortable night of my life.
118
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,160
Or maybe that was the brothel
in Antwerp.
119
00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:28,160
No, no. It was definitely here.
120
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,760
Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that.
121
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:34,360
The one consolation was knowing that
you were reading my book, Dickens.
122
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,280
Hans, let me introduce you to
my children.
123
00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:38,040
This is Chickenstalker.
124
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:39,840
Mr H.
125
00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,240
And the noble Plorn!
Charles!
126
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:45,200
Francis, Henry and Edward.
127
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,320
-Mary.Mamie.Kate.
-Lucifer Box.
128
00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,800
-And Walter.
-Young Skull!
129
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:52,360
(CLATTERING)
Ow!
Alfred and Sydney.
130
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,400
Skittles and the Admiral.
131
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,480
And this is Charlie.
132
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,080
-Charlie.
-Damn.
133
00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:01,640
And they say your stories have too
many peoples in them. (CHUCKLES)
134
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:04,320
Busy old Dickens! (CHUCKLES)
135
00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,800
Please, sir.
Can I have some more? (LAUGHS)
136
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,960
Children, this is
Hans Christian Andersen,
137
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:14,120
the world-famous children's author.
138
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,000
And now the writer for the adults.
139
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:21,440
He has come to witness my genius
first hand.
140
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:26,560
(SLURPS)
I have no wifes and no childrens,
141
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:29,440
but I have sown my seeds across
the corners of the world.
142
00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:33,440
Are you planning to stay in England
long, Mr Andersen?
143
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,240
Is someone looking after your house?
144
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,600
House? No, I have no house.
145
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,400
I stay wherever I am invited.
146
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,160
(BURPS)
147
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,080
(CHILDREN SNICKER)
148
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:50,840
(PEN SCRAWLING)
149
00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:01,000
It is an honour to watch your father
at his works.
150
00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:05,480
Sorry.
151
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,400
(PEN CONTINUES SCRAWLING)
152
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:18,080
(GASPS)
This is unsupportable!
153
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,960
I have a deadline to meet,
not to mention a play to rehearse!
154
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,840
How can I concentrate with this
relentless racket?!
155
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,480
I could read them something.
156
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,240
Yes, well. That's very generous of
you, Hans, thank you. Er...
157
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,880
Something of mine.
158
00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:37,600
Oh, YOUR book?
159
00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:41,640
(CHUCKLING) Do not worry. I shall
return it in the blink of a thigh.
160
00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:50,360
Oh! (CHUCKLES) "The night was
bitterly cold but the bed was warm.
161
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:54,280
And as he pulled his legs up to the
body of the woman he had paid..."
162
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,480
Ah, good morning, Mrs Dickens.
163
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:04,120
Good morning... Mr Andersen.
164
00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:07,440
I have abandoned my underwearings
in the bathroom.
165
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:11,480
Kindly reunite them with
your...legs.
166
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,360
You are so full of the liquorice
today, Catherine.
167
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,160
No, Mr Andersen!
168
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,200
Mr Andersen! No!
169
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:24,880
-No!
-CHILD SHOUTING: Ass!
170
00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:27,280
-Edward, stay in there.
-Ass!
171
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,840
(HANS SINGING TO HIMSELF)
172
00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:40,440
(SINGING CONTINUES)
173
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,040
(DISTANT, NOISY THUMPING)
"I know nothing.
174
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,120
Only that he... Father!"
175
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:52,160
I imagined he might be of some
service entertaining the children
176
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,840
with his fairy stories.
But instead, he fills their heads
177
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:59,800
with all sorts of er...
dockside ballyhoo!
178
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:02,440
This morning, Edward asked me
what a brothel was.
179
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,320
Oh, Catherine.
You do not understand writers.
180
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,640
Men of literary genius should be
indulged.
181
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:10,400
Yet you have not indulged Hans
by reading his book.
182
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:11,840
(LAUGHING) No, I have not.
183
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:14,440
I fear he will not depart our home
184
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,560
until you bestow some favourable
opinion upon his novel.
185
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,240
It is enormous.
I will not have time.
186
00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,360
Why must people write such
colossal books?
187
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,480
(DISTANT THUMPING, LAUGHTER
AND MUSIC CONTINUE)
188
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:28,400
Read his book, tell him you love it,
and then he will go!
189
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,360
What if it is no good?
I will not know what to say.
190
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,960
Harsh criticism can hurt people...
191
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,480
I imagine.
192
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:38,880
-You imagine?
-It's unfortunate,
but I alone among authors
193
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,600
would be unable to comfort the
poor man.(DOOR OPENS)
194
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:44,480
(RECORDER WHISTLING, DRUM THUMPING,
CHILDREN SHOUTING)
195
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,880
-Oh, ho!
-No, Edward!
196
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,480
-Edward, no!
-Yeah!
197
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,040
(CHILDREN CONTINUE SHOUTING)
Sssh!
198
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:53,560
No! Francis, you should not...
199
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,880
(LAUGHING)
200
00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,720
I simply do not understand where he
got the idea
201
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,560
that he was welcome to come
and stay with us.
202
00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,400
No, me neither.
203
00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:06,760
'Tis peculiar, is it not?
204
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,920
"My dearest Hans.
205
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:33,720
If you ever happen to be in England,
you will be most welcome at...
206
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,000
..Gad's Hill."
207
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:44,680
"My mind clears,
but my eyes grow dim.
208
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:47,480
My sister... Clara.
209
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,560
Kiss me, sister.
210
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:52,320
Kiss me before I die."
211
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,600
(DOOR OPENS) You invited him!
212
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,800
Catherine, I was just dying!
213
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,240
Good!
You were terribly good, Mr Dickens.
214
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:02,760
You invited that boorish
ne'er-do-well into our home,
215
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,960
and now we are unable
to cast him o...
216
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,560
Oh! (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
217
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,840
-Mr Andersen.
-Are you not
happy with me as your guest?
218
00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:16,320
-What? Of course.
-Ye... N.. Yes...
-We are happy with you.
-No, no.
219
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,240
-You misunderstand.
-I haven't
over-remained my welcomes, no?
220
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,160
No. The children love you.
I love you.
221
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,920
Catherine...likes you.
222
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,760
Oh, thank you!
223
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:28,120
Oh, I am so happy to be your rest.
224
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:31,200
May I have a word?
225
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,840
What possessed you to invite that
Nordic cuckoo?
226
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,840
I did not really invite him,
I was being polite.
227
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,920
Polite? You?
228
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,440
It's impossible for me to get any
work done with him here.
229
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:47,000
Personally, I find having him here
quite helpful. A bit of a boost.
230
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,640
It's good to have someone here who
has faith in my genius.
231
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:52,400
Who does not prattle on about
cuckoos and cookbooks.
232
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:55,600
Someone who's prepared to put
my welfare before their own!
233
00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,560
Where are you going?
234
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,200
Wife!
235
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,040
Wife?
(BOX SLAMS SHUT)
236
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:11,040
For 21 years I have been putting
your welfare before my own.
237
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,440
There.
What are these?
238
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,200
Bad reviews of your work.
239
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,880
See?
240
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,760
From Pickwick Papers to
Little Doritt.
241
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,320
Oh, some veritable stinkers for
that last one.
242
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,240
Did you write these?
Are you...
243
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,640
-..a critic?!
-No.
244
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:32,400
I removed them whenever they
appeared in your daily newspaper
245
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,640
and concealed them in my trousseau.
246
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:37,360
-Why?
-So you could remain Dickens!
247
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,080
The mighty un-criticised Dickens!
248
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,880
I did that for you.
249
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:43,560
And why preserve them?
250
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:47,080
So I could read them privately,
whenever I was furious with you.
251
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,440
So I would not feel quite so alone.
252
00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:55,080
(DOOR OPENS)
253
00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:57,240
(DOOR SLAMS)
254
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:07,560
"Mr Dickens is a..." (SHUDDERS)
255
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,480
"..vain, silly and transparent
cockscomb."
256
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:15,080
That's just mean.
257
00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:23,880
You're wearing my bridal gown!
258
00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:28,240
Yes. Imagine being married to the
great Charles Dickens
259
00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,520
wearing this dress.
260
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,640
Everyone watching.
261
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:36,560
I was just this moment reading about
the happy day, here in your diaries.
262
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:40,240
Mr Andersen, my diary,
like my wardrobe, is private!
263
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:45,800
I find, tucked in your diary also,
these works in your hand, yes?
264
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,440
I did write those, yes.
265
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:50,360
You are an artist.
266
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,000
Really, you think so?
267
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:55,200
That is most kind.
Is not kindness. Is truth.
268
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:58,120
He must be so proud of you to write
such poems.
269
00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:00,280
Er...they're not poems.
They're recipes.
270
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,200
What-ipes?
For a cookbook.
271
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,440
Mrs Dickens, your...
272
00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,240
..recipes make me weep.
273
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,920
I am honoured to make the
acquaintance of such a poet of soup.
274
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,640
(CLEARS THROAT) Maybe we could
pick it up from after your death.
275
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:38,160
You could just lie there.
276
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:39,840
How can I lie there?
277
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:43,920
I am, it seems, a "maudlin boob"
and a "circumloquacious ninny."
278
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,320
Oh.
279
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,480
What is your matter, my friend?
280
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,680
Mr Dickens fears that he's no
Earthly good.
281
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,480
What absolute nonsense.
282
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,600
Without the fire that this man has
lit inside my bottom,
283
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,360
I would not have written this.
284
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:07,440
And when my new novel transforms
my reputation
285
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:11,960
from ugly fairy-tale duckling
to fat literary swan,
286
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:16,320
it will be down to the encouragement
of this wonderful man.
287
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,320
Good, is it, Mr Andersen's book?
288
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,480
Er...yes, it's marvellous.
289
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,120
You have read it?
290
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,120
What was your favourite part?
291
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,360
All of it.(GASPS)
Oh, you burst my chest.
292
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,880
I particularly enjoyed that you
ended with an inheritance plot
293
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:33,680
so convoluted and improbable
294
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:35,960
it would insult the intelligence
of a whelk.
295
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,800
-What?
-No, my mistake.
296
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:39,440
That was me...
297
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,080
..according to the
London Weekly Post.
298
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,960
-You insult yourself?
-No, sir!
I insult whelks.
299
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,720
It is here in black and white.
300
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,480
This, Charles, is criticism.
301
00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,320
(BLOWS)
302
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:00,840
And she is gone.
303
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:06,520
A work that is good lives by itself
and needs no opinions,
304
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:08,000
save those of friends.
305
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:10,280
I believe in you.
306
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:12,920
-Thank you.
-No, thank you.
307
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,280
Aw!
308
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,000
Ow! (GROANS)
309
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,120
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
310
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:29,120
Whenever will he leave?
311
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,200
He's a good man. He means well.
312
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,000
I think we have misjudged him.
313
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:35,280
Oh, sweet Lord.
314
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:36,880
(BLOWS)
315
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:42,800
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
316
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:45,360
(DOOR CREAKS OPEN)
317
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,400
It is very raining on the windows
in my room.
318
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,200
I will come and sleep here
with you instead.
319
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:59,080
Ah!
(KISSES BOTH)
320
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:16,560
(THUMPS)
321
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,720
We must be rid of him.
322
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,040
He was tossing and turning
all night.
323
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:22,640
-I know.
-And when I say tossing -
324
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,400
I know, I know!
325
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,880
What else can I do? I've told him
I love his wretched book.
326
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,840
-You must tell him to leave!
-Yes,
well, I'm just not very good with...
327
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:32,720
words.
You are Charles Dickens!
328
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:36,720
And you will find the words,
or God help me!
329
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,200
(DOOR OPENS)
330
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:45,360
Oh, Mr Andersen.
331
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,240
Are you going somewhere?
332
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:49,200
Yes, yes. Indeed.
333
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:53,320
I will partake of a small
breakfast biscuit, perhaps.
334
00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:56,880
And then I must be taking my leaves.
You're going?
335
00:18:56,920 --> 00:19:00,400
-Oh, what a shame.
-I hoped in my
heart you would praise my new book,
336
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,120
-and you have.
-Yes! Yes, I did.
337
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:04,720
So now I go.
338
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:06,440
I will miss you very much.
339
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,240
Oh!
340
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:12,440
(CLEARS THROAT)
341
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,440
Where will you go, Hans?
342
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,000
I...
343
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:20,160
sent a copy of my book to the famous
novel writer Anthony Trollope,
344
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:24,560
and I plan to spend a few nights
or months with him
345
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,360
reading through his favourite
passages.
346
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,200
Capital idea. Tony will love that.
347
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:29,920
Yes, he will love that!
348
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,480
He will.(CHUCKLES)
349
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:36,160
My book is excellent. I know because
my idol, Charles Dickens, says so.
350
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:41,240
Yes-s-s-s-s!
351
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,400
Catherine, are you shushing to
conceal the fact
352
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:46,000
you're tearing a portion out of the
London Weekly Post?
353
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,160
-No!
-You know what I said.
354
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:51,800
If there is a review of my work,
fair or foul, I will read it!
355
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,720
I am Charles Dickens.
356
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,800
-It is like soot in the wind.
-Indeed.
357
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,040
No.
358
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,520
-Catherine.
-No.
359
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,080
-Catherine.
-No, just try -
(FIRMLY) Catherine.
360
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,720
No.
361
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,000
Oh.
362
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:14,960
Catherine, as a gentleman, you know
I cannot retrieve it from there!
363
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,680
Mr Andersen!
364
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:27,000
I will read it to you.
No, please don't.
365
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:28,720
Pish pish.(CHUCKLES)
366
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,480
Oh, "The great Hans."
367
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,760
Oh.
368
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:37,520
"Hans Christian Andersen has
delighted generations for decades
369
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:41,920
with his tales of princesses,
emperors and Mer creatures.
370
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:47,160
His debut foray into the
adult novel asks the question...
371
00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,480
..'Should he have strayed from
the fantasy land
372
00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,680
in which he was so popular?'"
373
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,880
Yes, yes, yes, he should.
There you go.
374
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,280
They love the book as much as I do,
no need to read any further.
375
00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:01,720
"When compared to the contemporaries
he pitches himself against,
376
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:05,560
like the matchless
Charles Dickens..." (CHUCKLES)
377
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,400
"..Mr Andersen's attempts are
laughable."
378
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,080
(SIGHS)
379
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,680
(WHINES)
380
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,760
(WHINING CONTINUES)
381
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,400
(WHINING CONTINUES)
382
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:35,880
Like soot in the wind, Hans.
Like soot in the wind.
383
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:37,560
(WHINING CONTINUES)
384
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,080
(MOUTHING)
385
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,080
(KISSES)
Ah!
386
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:52,800
You love my book?
387
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,200
Yes. Yes.
388
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,520
What did you like best about
my book?
389
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,880
Er...the...
390
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:04,920
..the mermaid.
391
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:07,960
-The mermaid?
-The duckling?
The ugly duckling?
392
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:10,400
(GASPING)
Oh, you never read my book!
393
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:12,040
(GRITTING TEETH) I will, Hans.
I will!
394
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:13,560
-He lied to me!
-No!
395
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,200
No, I was going to read it after
I finished my play,
396
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:19,080
but books are so long these days,
one seldom gets the time.
397
00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:21,720
Well, I cannot go to see Mr Trollope
now, can I?
398
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:23,880
I will be his laughing sock.
399
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:28,280
No! No, you must...stay...here
with us!
400
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,760
Take off your hat, take off
your coat.
401
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:32,800
Oh, I can unpack my suitcases.
402
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:34,320
Yes, do that.
403
00:22:34,360 --> 00:22:36,800
Oh, oh, thank you.
404
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:38,800
Dickens, thank you.
405
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:40,440
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
406
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,080
Oh.
407
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:46,240
I know I am safe if I am with you.
408
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:01,600
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
409
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:08,840
'Hans stayed with us for
five whole weeks.
410
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,640
He wrote a glowing review for a
Danish newspaper
411
00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:14,680
of his stay with, and I quote,
412
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,400
"The happy and cordial Dickens."'
413
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:19,280
'By the time it was published,
414
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:22,120
Charles and I were already
divorced.'
415
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:26,680
'Dickens never wrote to me again.
416
00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:30,120
I never understood why.'
417
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,480
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