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1
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:41,700
Mate, banking's over.
The real money's in charity work.
2
00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:44,840
You know the interesting
thing about this gun is that
3
00:00:44,944 --> 00:00:47,983
I actually carved
it down from a slightly bigger gun.
4
00:00:47,984 --> 00:00:51,984
Do not touch Lord Kranos!
5
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:56,703
Now, we have 11 different tortoise
habitat designs,
6
00:00:56,704 --> 00:00:58,663
all of them
tailored to your own special...
7
00:00:58,664 --> 00:01:01,583
Before you do them,
you have to fill the braid back in.
8
00:01:01,584 --> 00:01:05,423
Oh right, do I choose my own?
9
00:01:05,424 --> 00:01:06,943
They're probably just freaked out
10
00:01:06,944 --> 00:01:09,583
about talking to
successful musicians.
11
00:01:09,584 --> 00:01:13,423
Oh my God,
what are you losers doing here?
12
00:01:13,424 --> 00:01:16,943
We went to school here and
they invited us back for an encore.
13
00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:19,503
Do you know these knobs? No.
14
00:01:19,504 --> 00:01:21,223
Oh, a little bit.
15
00:01:21,224 --> 00:01:25,224
Shouldn't this say "toilet-cleaners
in a shitty ex-bingo hall"?
16
00:01:25,464 --> 00:01:27,543
We have many talents.
17
00:01:27,544 --> 00:01:29,903
Did you clean the toilets
when you were at school here?
18
00:01:29,904 --> 00:01:31,023
No!
19
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,303
Well, only once.
20
00:01:32,304 --> 00:01:35,423
We weren't even
friends from the start.
21
00:01:35,424 --> 00:01:38,583
Oh...
22
00:01:38,584 --> 00:01:39,823
What are you doing?
23
00:01:39,824 --> 00:01:42,343
I'm going all wobbly.
Think I'm having a flashback.
24
00:01:42,344 --> 00:01:46,344
Can we come? Don't see why not.
Just go all wibbly and that.
25
00:01:47,704 --> 00:01:49,543
Oh, yeah.
26
00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:51,183
Here we go.
27
00:01:51,184 --> 00:01:55,184
I'm actually quite curious.
28
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,944
Alaska, what's up? Alaska!
29
00:02:15,224 --> 00:02:17,023
Oh, Ashley mate, sorry,
30
00:02:17,024 --> 00:02:19,823
you've just got a bit of tramp
spunk on your face there. What?
31
00:02:19,824 --> 00:02:23,423
Oh, he checked! Why would you check unless
you'd been sucking off a big dirty tramp!
32
00:02:23,424 --> 00:02:25,663
Oh, oh, oh, oh. Easy!
33
00:02:25,664 --> 00:02:27,103
Alaska, hi.
34
00:02:27,104 --> 00:02:30,023
I tried to flag you down
but obviously you didn't see me.
35
00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:32,183
Listen,
for the end of school show, I was...
36
00:02:32,184 --> 00:02:34,143
Stoppage. You want me in yours?
37
00:02:34,144 --> 00:02:36,743
Everyone knows you're
the prettiest actress in school.
38
00:02:36,744 --> 00:02:39,263
Simon, I don't appear in shows.
I star in them.
39
00:02:39,264 --> 00:02:42,423
And only if there's award potential
like playing a cripple, so...
40
00:02:42,424 --> 00:02:44,064
Can I put you down as a yes?
41
00:02:44,157 --> 00:02:45,396
Whatever.
42
00:02:45,397 --> 00:02:49,397
I'll put a tick.
43
00:02:49,677 --> 00:02:51,396
I'm putting on a solo show.
44
00:02:51,397 --> 00:02:53,036
Can I be in it with you?
45
00:02:53,037 --> 00:02:55,156
What, a two-person solo show? Yeah.
46
00:02:55,157 --> 00:02:57,236
Ashley,
what is wrong with your brain, mate?
47
00:02:57,237 --> 00:03:01,237
Look, there's nothing wrong with my
brain or my face, OK, so... there.
48
00:03:03,237 --> 00:03:05,676
'Auditions are taking place
in the school hall.
49
00:03:05,677 --> 00:03:07,196
'If you're planning on bribing me,
50
00:03:07,197 --> 00:03:10,196
'I drink whisky - for breakfast
thanks to you lot.'
51
00:03:10,197 --> 00:03:14,197
I want to go beyond the Vagina
Monologues, maybe as far as ovaries.
52
00:03:14,557 --> 00:03:15,836
Go Alaska, go!
53
00:03:15,837 --> 00:03:19,837
Thank you, Alaska.
54
00:03:20,877 --> 00:03:22,556
Right, go.
55
00:03:22,557 --> 00:03:23,796
Help me everyone, Jason,
56
00:03:23,797 --> 00:03:26,396
you're the coolest movie prop maker
in the whole school.
57
00:03:26,397 --> 00:03:28,356
How about giving me a snog?
58
00:03:28,357 --> 00:03:29,956
No, be right back.
59
00:03:29,957 --> 00:03:32,996
Is he one of our special ones?
60
00:03:32,997 --> 00:03:36,997
If I don't get to re-enact Star Wars,
you don't get my props expertise.
61
00:03:38,317 --> 00:03:42,317
Thank you, Jason.
62
00:03:47,277 --> 00:03:50,716
Hi, I'm pitching a nativity, simple,
solid and traditional.
63
00:03:50,717 --> 00:03:52,876
A show to reflect
the school's values.
64
00:03:52,877 --> 00:03:54,516
He's a bit of a suck up, isn't he?
65
00:03:54,517 --> 00:03:57,196
Yes, he gets my vote as well.
66
00:03:57,197 --> 00:03:59,796
It's your show, Stefan,
make us proud.
67
00:03:59,797 --> 00:04:03,797
Yes!
68
00:04:08,397 --> 00:04:12,397
You stupid bastard!
69
00:04:12,957 --> 00:04:15,676
Ow, my ear bone, my ear bone. Ow, ow!
70
00:04:15,677 --> 00:04:19,677
In there, you piece of shit!
71
00:04:35,477 --> 00:04:38,876
Ah cannabis, breasts of the
green-fingered goblin.
72
00:04:38,877 --> 00:04:41,356
Climb out of your pot hole, Dru.
73
00:04:41,357 --> 00:04:42,796
That's not mine.
74
00:04:42,797 --> 00:04:44,636
I don't want to see you expelled,
75
00:04:44,637 --> 00:04:47,196
but nor can I let this pass
unpunished.
76
00:04:47,197 --> 00:04:49,396
I sentence you to drama.
77
00:04:49,397 --> 00:04:51,436
Let's let the head decide.
78
00:04:51,437 --> 00:04:52,836
You will assist Stef.
79
00:04:52,837 --> 00:04:54,876
My parents don't let me
talk to drug users.
80
00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:58,116
Art will be your punishment
and yet also your reward.
81
00:04:58,117 --> 00:05:00,636
Can I have my joint back?
Sorry, my parents were very clear.
82
00:05:00,637 --> 00:05:04,476
And curtain.
83
00:05:04,477 --> 00:05:07,276
What's your first move then?
84
00:05:07,277 --> 00:05:11,277
This.
85
00:05:16,797 --> 00:05:20,436
One at a time. Guys, seriously.
86
00:05:20,437 --> 00:05:21,836
Can we just please, just for...
87
00:05:21,837 --> 00:05:24,756
I'm doing a monologue of a lesbian
trapped in a sexual relationship.
88
00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:27,036
And I could play the other
lesbian, right?
89
00:05:27,037 --> 00:05:28,956
No, what is my donkey doing?
90
00:05:28,957 --> 00:05:31,596
The front half's making out
with the rear half.
91
00:05:31,597 --> 00:05:34,956
Where do you want the death star
or gun planet as it'll be known
92
00:05:34,957 --> 00:05:37,116
for copyright purposes?
93
00:05:37,117 --> 00:05:40,436
Guys, can...
can we just stop talking, please?
94
00:05:40,437 --> 00:05:42,636
I'll do anything you say
if you make me orgasm.
95
00:05:42,637 --> 00:05:43,676
Stef, what?
96
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,476
I'm doing the monologue, you idiots.
97
00:05:45,477 --> 00:05:49,477
OK, stop! You're going
to audition for roles.
98
00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:51,396
You two, you work for me now.
99
00:05:51,397 --> 00:05:53,396
I want another beer
and something fried.
100
00:05:53,397 --> 00:05:55,396
Just put it on the production
budget.
101
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:58,276
OK, who's gonna audition for the
part of Joseph, Mary's husband?
102
00:05:58,277 --> 00:06:00,676
Me, dibs, dibs, yeah.
You can't call dibs.
103
00:06:00,677 --> 00:06:02,916
Shotgun.
All right, you've got to audition.
104
00:06:02,917 --> 00:06:06,796
OK.
105
00:06:06,797 --> 00:06:10,797
Just improvise something as Joseph.
106
00:06:13,317 --> 00:06:15,916
Hey Mary, let's have sex.
107
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,516
See, I know you're a lesbian,
but I'm... I'm cool with that.
108
00:06:18,517 --> 00:06:21,476
Maybe we can start with a hand job
and I can pretend I'm a girl...
109
00:06:21,477 --> 00:06:25,477
Try it with your shirt off.
No shirts in ancient Judea.
110
00:06:27,317 --> 00:06:31,317
All the, the whole?
Yeah, all of it. Yeah.
111
00:06:32,637 --> 00:06:34,476
You've got the job, darling.
112
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:37,956
But he's awful.
No, my theatre, his chest.
113
00:06:37,957 --> 00:06:40,796
No!
Listen to me, you bunch of fudges,
114
00:06:40,797 --> 00:06:44,797
do what I tell you
or you can go home!
115
00:06:48,357 --> 00:06:52,357
Stop, come back!
I was only kidding, obviously!
116
00:06:53,277 --> 00:06:56,596
Beer? You paid for it.
I do not want a beer.
117
00:06:56,597 --> 00:06:58,036
I want a cast and a crew
118
00:06:58,037 --> 00:07:02,037
and my own unique personal
vision of this nativity.
119
00:07:07,637 --> 00:07:11,637
You sound like you need a beer.
120
00:07:11,797 --> 00:07:14,476
'May I remind you that
the Nativity is in exactly
121
00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:17,076
'one week's time.
Attendance is compulsory.
122
00:07:17,077 --> 00:07:19,596
'Enjoying it is not.'
123
00:07:19,597 --> 00:07:23,596
You have to let me fire Ash.
This is theatre, pumpkin.
124
00:07:23,597 --> 00:07:26,316
It's endless frustration,
boys' bare chests.
125
00:07:26,317 --> 00:07:28,276
It's an intoxicating madness.
126
00:07:28,277 --> 00:07:29,676
Right, so what do I do?
127
00:07:29,677 --> 00:07:33,677
Discovering that IS theatre.
128
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:46,196
Star Wars and feminism.
129
00:07:46,197 --> 00:07:50,197
How the fudge do
I fit that into my nativity?
130
00:07:53,357 --> 00:07:57,357
I was wrong before. Just because it's my show,
it doesn't mean there's not room for everyone.
131
00:07:57,677 --> 00:08:00,236
Star Wars! Award-winning
lesbo cripple?
132
00:08:00,237 --> 00:08:04,237
And the nativity. Let's make
something special, people!
133
00:08:05,757 --> 00:08:09,476
I just feel so angry about issues.
Yeah, it's all right, yeah.
134
00:08:09,477 --> 00:08:10,836
What the fuck, Ash?
135
00:08:10,837 --> 00:08:13,716
Sorry, I thought my character would
kiss you now, cheer you up a bit.
136
00:08:13,717 --> 00:08:15,116
Cheer me up?
137
00:08:15,117 --> 00:08:17,916
I'm doing shit for smelly immigrants
and your character's horny?
138
00:08:17,917 --> 00:08:19,396
I think so.
139
00:08:19,397 --> 00:08:22,116
Am I my character?
What you are is useless.
140
00:08:22,117 --> 00:08:23,876
Sorry, are you talking
to my character
141
00:08:23,877 --> 00:08:25,516
or are we still in the story?
142
00:08:25,517 --> 00:08:27,956
Look guys, you need to be
one whole donkey.
143
00:08:27,957 --> 00:08:30,316
I'm not having that cheating
bitch in my arse.
144
00:08:30,317 --> 00:08:31,916
I didn't do nothing!
145
00:08:31,917 --> 00:08:33,356
Stef, you have to fire Ash.
146
00:08:33,357 --> 00:08:37,036
I've already tried that,
it's not happening.
147
00:08:37,037 --> 00:08:38,756
Oh God no, is that safe?
148
00:08:38,757 --> 00:08:42,397
It's 90 percent safe.
149
00:08:45,397 --> 00:08:49,397
Red leader, I'm here.
150
00:08:49,637 --> 00:08:51,876
That's your 10 percent
margin of error right there.
151
00:08:51,877 --> 00:08:54,556
May Day, Red Leader, I said I'm hit.
152
00:08:54,557 --> 00:08:56,876
Stef, Stef! Stop it!
153
00:08:56,877 --> 00:09:00,036
My back!
Stef, answer me. Stef!
154
00:09:00,037 --> 00:09:02,076
Stop ignoring me, stop ignoring me.
155
00:09:02,077 --> 00:09:04,957
Stef! I need help now!
Stop it! Stefan.
156
00:09:20,957 --> 00:09:22,596
I need help with the show.
157
00:09:22,597 --> 00:09:26,196
Which one? There's at least three
different shows trying to happen.
158
00:09:26,197 --> 00:09:28,196
I might not be the best actor,
but I thought
159
00:09:28,197 --> 00:09:32,036
if I had a sex scene with Alaska
then she might actually like me.
160
00:09:32,037 --> 00:09:34,276
It's a nativity, who's having sex?
161
00:09:34,277 --> 00:09:38,116
Mary, you pleb. She has a baby,
Joseph's her guy.
162
00:09:38,117 --> 00:09:41,957
I'm Joseph. Go, go Joseph,
put it in good.
163
00:09:44,557 --> 00:09:46,796
Dude, it was a virgin birth.
164
00:09:46,797 --> 00:09:49,316
All the joys of childbirth with
none of the good times.
165
00:09:49,317 --> 00:09:53,317
What? That is bullshit!
166
00:09:59,717 --> 00:10:03,516
You! Stay right there.
167
00:10:03,517 --> 00:10:04,836
That's not mine.
168
00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:08,837
The last train to last warning
town's left the station, Andrew.
169
00:10:10,117 --> 00:10:13,556
Welcome to expulsionville,
your new home.
170
00:10:13,557 --> 00:10:16,276
Sir, it... it's a prop.
171
00:10:16,277 --> 00:10:18,196
I asked him to empty it
and he misunderstood
172
00:10:18,197 --> 00:10:19,916
and emptied it into himself.
173
00:10:19,917 --> 00:10:22,556
My fault.
174
00:10:22,557 --> 00:10:26,557
Well, if it had been any other
student, I'd have called bull spit.
175
00:10:26,957 --> 00:10:30,356
Should have told me
you had beer cans, Stefan.
176
00:10:30,357 --> 00:10:33,516
That's a de-merit.
177
00:10:33,517 --> 00:10:37,517
My first de-merit.
This is my worst week ever.
178
00:10:37,797 --> 00:10:41,797
Including the week a
stray dog nipped my bollock.
179
00:10:42,117 --> 00:10:44,676
So, can you help me act better?
180
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:46,436
Course he can.
181
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:49,436
Just needs a director's cap.
182
00:10:49,437 --> 00:10:53,437
Cheers, man.
183
00:10:54,157 --> 00:10:57,556
It's nearly show time and we have
got a show to show tomorrow.
184
00:10:57,557 --> 00:11:00,916
Donkey halves, sort your love life
or you'll be demoted to two sheep.
185
00:11:00,917 --> 00:11:03,636
Ash, I'm promoting you to the
biggest non-speaking role
186
00:11:03,637 --> 00:11:06,236
in history, the baby Jesus.
187
00:11:06,237 --> 00:11:07,596
So no sex scene with Mary?
188
00:11:07,597 --> 00:11:09,916
You get born out of her vagina.
That'll have to do.
189
00:11:09,917 --> 00:11:11,956
Alaska, I've written your lines.
190
00:11:11,957 --> 00:11:13,596
Oh, I'll rewrite my own, I think.
191
00:11:13,597 --> 00:11:17,597
No, we do Stef's lines. He came up
with this Jesus character.
192
00:11:18,117 --> 00:11:22,109
The theatre, it's an intoxicating
madness and we are so behind.
193
00:11:29,238 --> 00:11:32,138
The show is about to begin,
but don't worry, it's a Nativity.
194
00:11:32,230 --> 00:11:34,909
Once Jesus is born,
you can all go home.
195
00:11:34,910 --> 00:11:36,469
Programme. Thank you.
196
00:11:36,470 --> 00:11:37,469
No worries.
197
00:11:37,470 --> 00:11:38,989
Programme.
198
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,509
Programme, anyone?
199
00:11:40,510 --> 00:11:44,510
There you go.
200
00:11:44,590 --> 00:11:48,029
I've rewritten half of it to be
a women's issue awards winner.
201
00:11:48,030 --> 00:11:49,349
The script changes or I'm out.
202
00:11:49,350 --> 00:11:50,749
But you're on in five minutes.
203
00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:51,869
No, I'm not.
204
00:11:51,870 --> 00:11:54,749
Come on, Alaska. Don't be a jerk.
205
00:11:54,750 --> 00:11:56,509
Don't be a what now?
206
00:11:56,510 --> 00:11:58,309
Let's just do the show.
207
00:11:58,310 --> 00:12:00,029
Ash,
you are out of my group of friends.
208
00:12:00,030 --> 00:12:03,709
That is you with no friends. And,
Stef, I'm out of this terrible play.
209
00:12:03,710 --> 00:12:07,710
That leaves you with no play.
Fuck you all.
210
00:12:11,070 --> 00:12:13,309
But that was totally worth it.
211
00:12:13,310 --> 00:12:14,349
We need a Mary.
212
00:12:14,350 --> 00:12:17,069
We need to find a Mary.
213
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,909
I will not play Mary.
214
00:12:19,910 --> 00:12:21,149
Where's my Joseph?
215
00:12:21,150 --> 00:12:24,709
Where's my Joseph?
216
00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:26,429
Ooh!
217
00:12:26,430 --> 00:12:30,430
I need to start tying this
thing down.
218
00:12:31,630 --> 00:12:35,630
Joseph's unconscious I, I need...
219
00:12:36,150 --> 00:12:37,549
Dru.
220
00:12:37,550 --> 00:12:40,949
No, no. Sorry, man.
221
00:12:40,950 --> 00:12:43,149
All right, mate?
Ready to start, then?
222
00:12:43,150 --> 00:12:46,229
Dru has to play Joseph, please,
please, Dru.
223
00:12:46,230 --> 00:12:48,469
Look, it's a story about family,
224
00:12:48,470 --> 00:12:50,589
and I haven't seen my old man
in a while,
225
00:12:50,590 --> 00:12:54,590
so I'm not sure I'd get
through it.
226
00:12:55,350 --> 00:12:58,709
OK, thanks anyway,
you've been a friend.
227
00:12:58,710 --> 00:13:00,669
Places, everyone.
228
00:13:00,670 --> 00:13:04,430
The part of Joseph will be
played by this beaver puppet.
229
00:13:06,430 --> 00:13:10,430
Let's go.
230
00:13:16,710 --> 00:13:20,710
Wake me up when it's over.
231
00:14:00,030 --> 00:14:02,989
I'm really looking forward
to intercourse, Mary.
232
00:14:02,990 --> 00:14:05,549
Oh, my fat tummy just rumbled.
233
00:14:05,550 --> 00:14:08,229
That's no rumble. That's a kick.
234
00:14:08,230 --> 00:14:12,230
I think you've got a baby in there.
235
00:14:12,990 --> 00:14:14,869
Oh, it's Gabriel.
236
00:14:14,870 --> 00:14:16,869
Pwoooh!
237
00:14:16,870 --> 00:14:19,589
We've got a little
bit of explaining to do.
238
00:14:19,590 --> 00:14:21,149
God got you pregnant.
239
00:14:21,150 --> 00:14:25,150
It's a boy.
240
00:14:25,470 --> 00:14:27,789
Pregnant without her consent.
241
00:14:27,790 --> 00:14:29,749
I am Mary Wollston Space Craft,
242
00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:31,909
a women's rights droid,
243
00:14:31,910 --> 00:14:34,949
and that angel is
an insufferable pig.
244
00:14:34,950 --> 00:14:38,950
Having this baby
or not must be your choice.
245
00:14:40,390 --> 00:14:44,390
No, it's God's.
246
00:14:46,310 --> 00:14:50,310
Mary, you've got options
Nobody can choose but you
247
00:14:50,350 --> 00:14:53,669
Ba-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da
248
00:14:53,670 --> 00:14:57,670
Mary you've got options - as a
woman, it's your right to refuse
249
00:14:58,550 --> 00:15:02,550
Ba-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da
250
00:15:02,710 --> 00:15:06,710
But if she doesn't have the baby
Daddy's gonna get real mad
251
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:09,989
Ba-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da
252
00:15:09,990 --> 00:15:12,189
As the man, I should decide
253
00:15:12,190 --> 00:15:16,190
Shut it, Joseph
You're not even the dad
254
00:15:18,430 --> 00:15:22,430
Mary, you've got options
You don't have to be a mom
255
00:15:26,070 --> 00:15:30,070
If Mary wanted options
She should have used a Femidom
256
00:15:34,390 --> 00:15:38,390
You've got so many options
As a woman, it's your choice today
257
00:15:42,350 --> 00:15:46,350
? If you wanna do it
We can always call a beer a drink. ?
258
00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:53,229
Die, fem-bot
259
00:15:53,230 --> 00:15:55,469
Die, die, die now.
260
00:15:55,470 --> 00:15:57,149
Die, die.
261
00:15:57,150 --> 00:15:59,469
Argh! Argh!
262
00:15:59,470 --> 00:16:00,789
Argh!
263
00:16:00,790 --> 00:16:04,790
Arghhhhhh!
264
00:16:07,190 --> 00:16:08,949
Thank heavens for that.
265
00:16:08,950 --> 00:16:11,549
I don't know,
some of what she said...
266
00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:15,149
Silly little Mary,
so easily fooled by wacky ideas.
267
00:16:15,150 --> 00:16:19,150
Now let's take your magical
pregnancy to Bethlehem. Donkey.
268
00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:25,749
But, Joseph, I think I'd use my vote
quite constructively.
269
00:16:25,750 --> 00:16:27,829
I'm not saying women aren't
worth the vote.
270
00:16:27,830 --> 00:16:29,949
Just give it several thousand years.
271
00:16:29,950 --> 00:16:33,950
Votes for women.
272
00:16:36,550 --> 00:16:40,550
They're loving it, Dru.
Can you see the headmaster's face?
273
00:16:42,830 --> 00:16:46,349
I can't believe you guys aren't cool
with Scott, it's such a good name.
274
00:16:46,350 --> 00:16:49,229
Look, I'm the daddy
and I say we call him Joe Junior.
275
00:16:49,230 --> 00:16:50,869
Oh, God.
276
00:16:50,870 --> 00:16:52,989
Awkward.
277
00:16:52,990 --> 00:16:55,109
Probably on her period or something.
278
00:16:55,110 --> 00:16:56,510
Yeah, probably.
279
00:17:02,150 --> 00:17:04,510
Damn helmet nearly killed me.
280
00:17:06,070 --> 00:17:08,109
I'm surrounded by men.
281
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:11,589
Even the donkey has a penis!
I just feel so...
282
00:17:11,590 --> 00:17:13,869
Check your privilege, girl.
283
00:17:13,870 --> 00:17:15,589
I am black.
284
00:17:15,590 --> 00:17:19,590
I am a woman and I am blind.
285
00:17:20,630 --> 00:17:22,589
And I eat pussy.
286
00:17:22,590 --> 00:17:26,590
I'm so marginal, they'll probably
write me out this whole story.
287
00:17:27,070 --> 00:17:29,789
Oh, well, I'm Jewish.
288
00:17:29,790 --> 00:17:31,709
We all Jewish, fool.
289
00:17:31,710 --> 00:17:34,029
We in Israel.
290
00:17:34,030 --> 00:17:38,030
I'm sorry, I just... I don't know
if I can support patriarchy.
291
00:17:38,550 --> 00:17:42,109
Boy or girl, your baby gonna be
sucking on your titties
292
00:17:42,110 --> 00:17:43,989
and calling you Momma.
293
00:17:43,990 --> 00:17:46,909
And damn,
but that's a beautiful thang.
294
00:17:46,910 --> 00:17:50,149
Beautiful like eating pussy.
295
00:17:50,150 --> 00:17:51,669
And now I'm done.
296
00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:53,509
Why?
297
00:17:53,510 --> 00:17:56,069
Prominent gay character?
298
00:17:56,070 --> 00:17:58,669
Shit and it's Christmas.
299
00:17:58,670 --> 00:18:00,590
It's what?
300
00:18:10,550 --> 00:18:14,550
Oh, the pressure of a name
301
00:18:15,590 --> 00:18:19,590
A little baby with a path
already made
302
00:18:23,590 --> 00:18:27,590
The most famous child of all
303
00:18:28,870 --> 00:18:32,870
But with a future
that's still hypothetical
304
00:18:34,390 --> 00:18:37,189
Even if you can't
make the sun shine
305
00:18:37,190 --> 00:18:41,190
Even if he can't turn
water to wine
306
00:18:41,590 --> 00:18:45,590
Or cure leprosy
or walk over the sea
307
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:49,869
Even if he can't
grow his hair long
308
00:18:49,870 --> 00:18:53,870
Even if I catch him smoking
309
00:18:54,070 --> 00:18:57,669
Even if he's exiled
310
00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:01,670
He'll still be my child
Just a boy
311
00:19:05,070 --> 00:19:09,070
Surely I have also sinned
312
00:19:09,950 --> 00:19:13,950
With a husband and a baby
not from him
313
00:19:15,990 --> 00:19:18,109
Even if he can't make
the stars shine
314
00:19:18,110 --> 00:19:19,309
Make the stars shine
315
00:19:19,310 --> 00:19:22,149
Even if he can't give sight
to the blind
316
00:19:22,150 --> 00:19:23,429
Make them see
317
00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:27,430
Or he's fired by his mind
Get a job Or nailed to a cross
318
00:19:28,590 --> 00:19:31,549
Even if he's not the chosen one
319
00:19:31,550 --> 00:19:35,550
Even if he can't have the force
from up above
320
00:19:36,030 --> 00:19:40,030
Or take on the world
He'll give it his all
321
00:19:42,030 --> 00:19:46,030
Just a boy, a Jedi boy
322
00:19:47,430 --> 00:19:51,149
Just a boy
323
00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:54,349
? Just a boy. ?
324
00:19:54,350 --> 00:19:56,549
Stand up, stand up.
325
00:19:56,550 --> 00:20:00,550
? Boy. ?
326
00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:03,830
I'm having my baby,
I'm having my baby!
327
00:20:06,510 --> 00:20:08,389
And I'm going to call him...
328
00:20:08,390 --> 00:20:10,949
'You shall call him Jesus.'
329
00:20:10,950 --> 00:20:13,349
A baby's trying to be born
out of my tiny vagina,
330
00:20:13,350 --> 00:20:15,589
and you want to argue with me?!
331
00:20:15,590 --> 00:20:17,629
'We can talk about this later.'
332
00:20:17,630 --> 00:20:21,630
Close your eyes.
Use the force-ceps.
333
00:20:24,630 --> 00:20:27,710
We've nailed it.
Wait until they see the next bit.
334
00:20:33,350 --> 00:20:35,509
Oh, fuck!
335
00:20:35,510 --> 00:20:37,990
Jesus, Jesus Christ!
336
00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:42,549
For fuck's sake.
337
00:20:42,550 --> 00:20:46,550
Water into wine is nothing compared
to what my mum has just achieved.
338
00:20:47,950 --> 00:20:51,950
Let's hear it for Mary, everyone.
339
00:20:52,350 --> 00:20:54,069
Whoo, Mary!
340
00:20:54,070 --> 00:20:56,469
Whoo, yeah, come on, everyone,
brilliant.
341
00:20:56,470 --> 00:20:57,669
Let's have a sing-song.
342
00:20:57,670 --> 00:21:00,109
Woo. Hi, Jesus. Hey.
343
00:21:00,110 --> 00:21:02,509
This is the birth
of something special
344
00:21:02,510 --> 00:21:04,109
It's a time to start anew
345
00:21:04,110 --> 00:21:06,469
This is the birth
of something magic
346
00:21:06,470 --> 00:21:08,269
Now it's time to adjust the tune
347
00:21:08,270 --> 00:21:10,389
This is the time to be forgiven
348
00:21:10,390 --> 00:21:14,390
The stealing and dealing, Lord
We can be free-ee-ee now
349
00:21:14,710 --> 00:21:17,229
? In zero AD... ?
350
00:21:17,230 --> 00:21:20,389
You might just want to step
back inside for a minute.
351
00:21:20,390 --> 00:21:22,589
For fuck's sake!
352
00:21:22,590 --> 00:21:24,709
..Sins I guarantee-ee
353
00:21:24,710 --> 00:21:28,429
No good dwelling
on what happened in the past
354
00:21:28,430 --> 00:21:32,430
? Oh! Jesus is our saviour, he can
kick Bin Laden's arse, ho... ?
355
00:21:32,870 --> 00:21:36,870
Right, thank you. Most entertaining.
356
00:21:37,190 --> 00:21:40,070
Complimentary mince pies
in the library, everyone.
357
00:21:43,750 --> 00:21:47,750
My office, first thing.
358
00:21:47,790 --> 00:21:51,710
Now, then.
Good of you to come, thank you.
359
00:21:52,910 --> 00:21:54,509
It's a bloody disgrace.
360
00:21:54,510 --> 00:21:58,510
Well, um, yes, I'll certainly
think about what you said. Bye.
361
00:22:00,630 --> 00:22:03,989
Still here?
362
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:07,909
I don't get it.
I just tried to make everyone happy.
363
00:22:07,910 --> 00:22:11,429
I don't think things are going
to work out with me and Alaska.
364
00:22:11,430 --> 00:22:13,229
Being on stage was cool, though.
365
00:22:13,230 --> 00:22:17,230
Maybe we should start a band.
366
00:22:17,350 --> 00:22:18,830
Uh-oh!
367
00:22:30,110 --> 00:22:32,949
That's what you learnt.
368
00:22:32,950 --> 00:22:36,189
Well, obviously, the lesson there
was that you three should never
369
00:22:36,190 --> 00:22:40,190
be allowed on the same
stage ever again.
370
00:22:45,150 --> 00:22:49,149
What are you arseholes doing here?
371
00:22:49,150 --> 00:22:52,029
You invited us.
We're high-achievers.
372
00:22:52,030 --> 00:22:55,309
I invited you, actually.
Well, Ashley, really.
373
00:22:55,310 --> 00:22:56,989
I mean, look how he's turned out.
374
00:22:56,990 --> 00:23:00,990
Do pull yourself together, Yvonne.
You three are excused.
375
00:23:02,470 --> 00:23:06,470
For ever.
376
00:23:06,590 --> 00:23:10,590
Yvonne! Oh!
377
00:23:16,790 --> 00:23:18,549
Come on, guys.
378
00:23:18,550 --> 00:23:20,756
Let's go and see
if there's any room at the inn.
379
00:23:20,806 --> 00:23:25,356
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