Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,359
? I wanna play Cluedo with my bros
2
00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:20,439
? I wanna paint rainbows on my toes
3
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:22,359
? I don't wanna ho, I want... ?
4
00:00:22,764 --> 00:00:26,603
Hello and welcome to the
Sloman Show,
5
00:00:26,604 --> 00:00:29,283
aka things I've got on my laptop
6
00:00:29,289 --> 00:00:31,048
of the Midnight Beast
that I want to show you.
7
00:00:31,134 --> 00:00:33,693
I've done that too
bright, it's too bright.
8
00:00:33,694 --> 00:00:37,693
Woo! I've been partying all night
long with the Midnight Beast.
9
00:00:37,774 --> 00:00:41,413
It was a crazy party.
When I say party, I mean
10
00:00:41,414 --> 00:00:42,733
par-tay.
11
00:00:42,734 --> 00:00:45,653
So for the first clip
I've got for you,
12
00:00:45,654 --> 00:00:49,653
it's called I Kicked
A Shark In Its Face.
13
00:00:49,654 --> 00:00:51,093
? The Mid-night Beast! ?
14
00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:54,813
We're the greatest unsigned gimmick
rap band from southwest London.
15
00:00:54,814 --> 00:00:56,573
We're not unsigned
because we're shit,
16
00:00:56,574 --> 00:00:58,653
we're unsigned because
corporations suck!
17
00:00:58,654 --> 00:01:00,413
And because we're shit.
18
00:01:00,414 --> 00:01:02,413
Shut up, Ash.
19
00:01:02,414 --> 00:01:05,213
? Mum, your little boys
flown from the nest
20
00:01:05,214 --> 00:01:06,893
? Moved in with his best boyfriends
21
00:01:06,894 --> 00:01:08,013
? We're the best
22
00:01:08,014 --> 00:01:11,053
? To a very big mansion of a crib
? No more nappies, no more bibs... ?
23
00:01:11,054 --> 00:01:11,893
What?
24
00:01:11,894 --> 00:01:12,973
Nothing.
25
00:01:12,974 --> 00:01:14,733
? We've got our own fridge
26
00:01:14,734 --> 00:01:16,973
? The wide world's very, very mean
27
00:01:16,974 --> 00:01:20,613
? But Mum, I can handle
myself, you'll soon see!
28
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:23,933
? Just the other day I was walking,
felt a tap on my shoulder
29
00:01:23,934 --> 00:01:26,493
? There's a shark standing there
and he looks much older
30
00:01:26,494 --> 00:01:29,053
? He's like "Raar raar raar"
31
00:01:29,054 --> 00:01:31,493
? I turn around and I'm
like "What the hell?"
32
00:01:31,494 --> 00:01:34,133
? He looks back at me,
he's like "Raar raar raar"
33
00:01:34,134 --> 00:01:37,853
? I look at him and
I'm like "What the hell?
34
00:01:37,854 --> 00:01:39,853
? "What the hell?"
35
00:01:39,854 --> 00:01:43,373
? Then I kicked
the shark in the face
36
00:01:43,374 --> 00:01:46,613
? He kicked the shark in the face
37
00:01:46,614 --> 00:01:48,573
? Then I kicked the
shark in the face
38
00:01:48,574 --> 00:01:52,573
? His face was a total disgrace
39
00:01:52,574 --> 00:01:55,773
? Humans are fitter
40
00:01:55,774 --> 00:01:58,373
? You can't punch me with a flipper
41
00:02:05,654 --> 00:02:08,893
? I'm sitting on my
arse playing Xbox games
42
00:02:08,894 --> 00:02:11,893
? Then I hear a voice and
it's calling out my name
43
00:02:11,894 --> 00:02:15,173
? I'm like "Yo, what
you want, motherfucker?"
44
00:02:15,174 --> 00:02:17,933
? He's like "Yo,
y-y-you motherfucker"
45
00:02:17,934 --> 00:02:19,293
? What happened next?
46
00:02:19,294 --> 00:02:20,573
? I'm getting to that
47
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:23,253
? Zip up my flies, roll my
sleeves, grab a baseball bat
48
00:02:23,254 --> 00:02:26,853
? I look left, look right,
but there's no one around
49
00:02:26,854 --> 00:02:29,733
? Then a bear, tap, tap,
pulls me to the ground
50
00:02:29,734 --> 00:02:31,093
? He's like "Raar raar raar"
51
00:02:31,094 --> 00:02:33,893
? Then I get up and I'm
like "What the fuck?"
52
00:02:33,894 --> 00:02:37,293
? He looks back and he's
like "Raar raar raar"
53
00:02:37,294 --> 00:02:39,853
? I'm not even scared,
I'm like "What the fuck?
54
00:02:39,854 --> 00:02:42,773
? "W-w-w-what the fuck?"
55
00:02:42,774 --> 00:02:46,053
? Then I hit the bear in the balls
56
00:02:46,054 --> 00:02:48,893
? He hit the bear in the balls
57
00:02:48,894 --> 00:02:52,093
? Take one for the team to the balls
58
00:02:52,094 --> 00:02:55,773
? Should have protected his balls
59
00:02:55,774 --> 00:02:58,333
? Go cry to ya' momma
60
00:02:58,334 --> 00:03:01,253
? A bear couldn't cook carbonara
61
00:03:01,254 --> 00:03:03,813
? I hit the bear in the balls
62
00:03:03,814 --> 00:03:07,813
? He hit the bear in the balls
63
00:03:09,174 --> 00:03:12,133
? Swim with a school of fish
64
00:03:12,134 --> 00:03:15,053
? Hunt with a pack of wolves
65
00:03:15,054 --> 00:03:19,053
? The only thing I know
is I love animals
66
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:23,573
? We put this bit in the song
67
00:03:23,574 --> 00:03:26,533
? So the animal lovers
don't come for us
68
00:03:26,534 --> 00:03:27,813
? I love animals
69
00:03:27,814 --> 00:03:29,613
? We put this bit in the song
70
00:03:29,614 --> 00:03:33,613
? So the animal lovers
don't come for us
71
00:03:34,134 --> 00:03:38,133
? Then I kicked the shark
in the face
72
00:03:47,534 --> 00:03:49,773
? Humans are winners
73
00:03:49,774 --> 00:03:52,093
? Cos we'll have
you later for dinner
74
00:03:52,094 --> 00:03:55,373
? Unless you're vegetarian
75
00:03:55,374 --> 00:03:59,373
? And that's OK, being
vegetarian's fine with me-e-ay. ?
76
00:04:02,494 --> 00:04:04,893
Hello and welcome back
to the Simon Show,
77
00:04:04,894 --> 00:04:08,133
aka things what I've
got on my hard drive.
78
00:04:08,134 --> 00:04:12,133
This next song is
called Quirky. Quirky.
79
00:04:16,894 --> 00:04:20,373
? Cos I'm quirky
80
00:04:20,374 --> 00:04:23,893
? Cos I'm quirky
81
00:04:23,894 --> 00:04:26,453
? Cos I'm quirky
82
00:04:26,454 --> 00:04:28,813
? When I'm 30
? Why?
83
00:04:28,814 --> 00:04:30,053
? Cos I'm quirky
84
00:04:30,054 --> 00:04:33,173
? Not married but I wear
a wedding ring on my hand
85
00:04:33,174 --> 00:04:37,053
? I go to sleep when I want,
cos I don't have bedtime planned
86
00:04:37,054 --> 00:04:40,573
? Don't obey by the rules,
sometimes I don't even care
87
00:04:40,574 --> 00:04:43,853
? If I'm out eating at a buffet,
I'll have more than my share
88
00:04:43,854 --> 00:04:46,533
? What?!
? I'm a bad influence
89
00:04:46,534 --> 00:04:47,733
? Don't hang around with me
90
00:04:47,734 --> 00:04:50,173
? I ride my bike on the pavement,
wear my clothes in the shower
91
00:04:50,174 --> 00:04:51,733
? I'm straight up crazy
92
00:04:51,734 --> 00:04:53,733
? I've got a beard
? I've got an afro
93
00:04:53,734 --> 00:04:56,053
? I've got eyebrows that rock
94
00:04:56,054 --> 00:05:00,053
? So if you want to out-quirky us,
then take your best shot
95
00:05:02,494 --> 00:05:04,853
? I don't sing in tune, why?
96
00:05:04,854 --> 00:05:06,533
? Cos I'm quirky
97
00:05:06,534 --> 00:05:09,733
? Backwards lyrics my of all rap I
? Cos I'm quirky
98
00:05:09,734 --> 00:05:12,053
? I sip my coffee
through a straw, bitch
99
00:05:12,054 --> 00:05:13,293
? Cos I'm quirky
100
00:05:13,294 --> 00:05:16,213
? And I still rock a
cap when I'm thirty
101
00:05:16,214 --> 00:05:18,573
? Why?
? Cos I'm quirky
102
00:05:18,574 --> 00:05:21,453
? The other day,
I had a piece of toast
103
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:24,973
? But I didn't even
butter it, it tasted gross
104
00:05:24,974 --> 00:05:28,413
? I don't care what I do,
I'm a real live wire
105
00:05:28,414 --> 00:05:32,253
? I hold a match till it burns,
I'm playing with fire
106
00:05:32,254 --> 00:05:35,853
? Fuck vegetables, I don't
eat none of that shit
107
00:05:35,854 --> 00:05:39,493
? Fuck education, I don't
study one little bit
108
00:05:39,494 --> 00:05:43,413
? Fuck the Fonz, he thinks
he's fucking cooler than me
109
00:05:43,414 --> 00:05:47,413
? And fuck singing this song,
cos I'm too quirky to sing
110
00:05:50,534 --> 00:05:52,933
? I wear red and pink, why?
111
00:05:52,934 --> 00:05:54,093
? Cos I'm quirky
112
00:05:54,094 --> 00:05:56,173
? I greet you with a goodbye
113
00:05:56,174 --> 00:05:57,733
? Cos I'm quirky
114
00:05:57,734 --> 00:06:00,013
? I have eleven beers a day, why?
115
00:06:00,014 --> 00:06:02,893
? Cos I'm quir... ?No, no, that
just makes you an alcoholic.
116
00:06:02,894 --> 00:06:06,013
? ..And I still have a
beard when I'm thirty. ?
117
00:06:06,014 --> 00:06:07,733
Why?!
Cos I'm quirky
118
00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:09,453
? Ripping a hole in your jeans
119
00:06:09,454 --> 00:06:11,573
? Owning a pink limousine
120
00:06:11,574 --> 00:06:14,653
? Learning to ride a unicycle
whilst you're dressed as the queen
121
00:06:14,654 --> 00:06:16,693
? Fighting a bear with one hand
122
00:06:16,694 --> 00:06:18,533
? Getting a full-body tan
123
00:06:18,534 --> 00:06:22,333
? Joining a post-apocalyptic
gothic hardcore band
124
00:06:22,334 --> 00:06:24,573
? I like Home Alone 3
125
00:06:24,574 --> 00:06:26,373
? Cos I'm quirky
126
00:06:26,374 --> 00:06:27,813
? I'm drinking peppermint tea
127
00:06:27,814 --> 00:06:29,093
? Cos I'm quirky
128
00:06:29,094 --> 00:06:31,493
? I got a picture of the Hoff, see?
129
00:06:31,494 --> 00:06:32,853
? Cos I'm quirky
130
00:06:32,854 --> 00:06:35,493
? And I'll still rock
a cap when I'm thirty. ?
131
00:06:35,494 --> 00:06:39,373
Why?
? Cos I'm quirky. ?
132
00:06:39,374 --> 00:06:43,253
Yo, welcome back to the crib.
133
00:06:43,254 --> 00:06:46,373
Shhh. I'm playing a video game.
134
00:06:46,374 --> 00:06:49,773
I like video games because
they allow you to do things
135
00:06:49,774 --> 00:06:52,053
simulated that you
can't do in real life.
136
00:06:52,054 --> 00:06:54,933
For instance, I always wanted
to be an air traffic controller
137
00:06:54,934 --> 00:06:58,933
but they wouldn't let me do it
cos they said I was unstable. Ha!
138
00:06:59,094 --> 00:07:03,093
Fuck that!
139
00:07:04,814 --> 00:07:08,493
? It's the year of the beast
140
00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:10,813
? I'm on it like Sonic
141
00:07:10,814 --> 00:07:12,413
? It is on like Donkey Kong
142
00:07:12,414 --> 00:07:14,093
? I'm gonna tell you like... ?
143
00:07:14,094 --> 00:07:16,053
Shut up. Just do the song.
144
00:07:16,054 --> 00:07:17,133
OK.
145
00:07:17,134 --> 00:07:19,693
? I like games,
they're hot to turn on
146
00:07:19,694 --> 00:07:22,453
? You can cheat 'em and they
don't get pissed when you're gone
147
00:07:22,454 --> 00:07:26,373
? You complete 'em, they don't
hang around wanting more
148
00:07:26,374 --> 00:07:29,093
? And the only thing that
matters is to get top score
149
00:07:29,094 --> 00:07:31,693
? Girlfriends just whine
and bitch and moan
150
00:07:31,694 --> 00:07:35,453
? But I can get more pleasure
when I'm sitting on my own
151
00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:37,733
? Girlfriends just bitch
and moan and whine
152
00:07:37,734 --> 00:07:40,573
? Get out my fucking room,
whore, read the sign
153
00:07:40,574 --> 00:07:43,733
? I don't wanna take Pebbles
for a walk in the street
154
00:07:43,734 --> 00:07:46,613
? I don't wanna take you
dancing, it hurts my feet
155
00:07:46,614 --> 00:07:50,613
? How come my friends understand
when I feel pissed off?
156
00:07:50,854 --> 00:07:53,093
? I wanna put my cock in Lara Croft
157
00:07:53,094 --> 00:07:56,373
? Videogames are better
than girlfriends
158
00:07:56,374 --> 00:08:00,093
? Cos you don't have to do
things to keep them happy
159
00:08:00,094 --> 00:08:01,813
? You just play them
160
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:05,813
? And have numerous amounts of fun
161
00:08:07,014 --> 00:08:11,013
? Maybe life would be
better as a videogame
162
00:08:11,014 --> 00:08:13,493
? I could ride a dragon
through the sky like a plane
163
00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:16,173
? I could solve a problem
with a fight to the death
164
00:08:16,174 --> 00:08:19,653
? For the last can of beans
or a glimpse of a breast
165
00:08:21,294 --> 00:08:23,773
? I'd get paper from
robbing all the banks
166
00:08:23,774 --> 00:08:25,813
? Up, down, left, right, turn
? Gets a tank
167
00:08:25,814 --> 00:08:28,573
? RSI on my thumbs from Call Of Duty
168
00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:31,253
? I'd rather shoot my load
at a virtual booty
169
00:08:31,254 --> 00:08:34,413
? I don't wanna give advice
on your newest dress
170
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:37,533
? I don't wanna wear a trilby,
give it a rest
171
00:08:37,534 --> 00:08:40,533
? How come my friends understand
when I feel pissed off?
172
00:08:40,534 --> 00:08:43,773
? I wanna put my dongle in Microsoft
173
00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:46,253
? Videogames are better
than girlfriends
174
00:08:46,254 --> 00:08:50,253
? Cos you don't have to think
of a conversation
175
00:08:50,654 --> 00:08:52,653
? You just look at 'em
176
00:08:52,654 --> 00:08:56,653
? And turn 'em off when
you're bored and done
177
00:08:56,694 --> 00:08:59,493
? My time with Mario
178
00:08:59,494 --> 00:09:02,613
? Is better than time with you
179
00:09:02,614 --> 00:09:06,093
? You can call me a saddo
180
00:09:06,094 --> 00:09:07,973
? But it's all I want to do
181
00:09:07,974 --> 00:09:11,133
? I'm scared of bajingas
182
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:15,133
? They make me want to hurl
183
00:09:15,294 --> 00:09:17,893
? As long as I have fingers
184
00:09:17,894 --> 00:09:21,893
? I'll never need a girl. ?
185
00:09:22,774 --> 00:09:25,053
Sloman Show!
186
00:09:25,054 --> 00:09:28,813
I've dimmed the lights for dramatic
effect, to be more dramatic.
187
00:09:28,814 --> 00:09:30,493
Woo.
188
00:09:30,494 --> 00:09:34,173
This next song's called
Life Is A Musical. Hit!
189
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,173
? Da-da-da-dum-da-da-da
190
00:09:36,174 --> 00:09:38,053
? Da-da-dum-da-da-da-da
191
00:09:38,054 --> 00:09:40,093
? Da-da-dum-da-da-da-dum-da-da
192
00:09:40,094 --> 00:09:42,053
? Da-da-da-dum-da-da-da
193
00:09:42,054 --> 00:09:43,733
? Da-da-dum-da-da-da-da
194
00:09:43,734 --> 00:09:46,253
? Da-da-dum-da-da-da-dum-da-da
195
00:09:46,254 --> 00:09:48,293
? Da-da-dum-da-da-da-dum-da-da
196
00:09:48,294 --> 00:09:50,253
? Da-da-dum-da-da-da-da
197
00:09:50,254 --> 00:09:54,173
? What the fudge was Mr Jones
on about back there?
198
00:09:54,174 --> 00:09:57,733
? I don't know, man, but that guy
is some kind of crazy
199
00:09:57,734 --> 00:10:01,733
? Are we gonna show these kids
how to kick it or what?
200
00:10:02,014 --> 00:10:06,013
? You're damn right we are,
let's do this thing
201
00:10:06,174 --> 00:10:10,173
? Life could be cool
like American High School
202
00:10:10,254 --> 00:10:13,933
? High school is cool
203
00:10:13,934 --> 00:10:17,453
? We dance around and
use dollars not pounds
204
00:10:17,454 --> 00:10:21,453
? Different currencies
205
00:10:21,894 --> 00:10:25,893
? Standing on a car
playing my guitar
206
00:10:29,494 --> 00:10:33,173
? When we reach the final curtain
207
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:37,173
? That's one thing
we know for certain
208
00:10:37,734 --> 00:10:41,653
? Because we all love a happy ending
209
00:10:41,654 --> 00:10:45,653
? We're blessed, we're the best,
we're all fucking amazing
210
00:10:45,974 --> 00:10:49,253
? We all love a happy finish
211
00:10:49,254 --> 00:10:51,373
? Let's all have a ball
212
00:10:51,374 --> 00:10:53,933
? Cos life is a musical
213
00:10:53,934 --> 00:10:57,933
? Life, life, life is a musical
214
00:10:58,694 --> 00:11:02,573
? Life, life, life is a musical
215
00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:05,853
? We stick together
whatever the weather
216
00:11:05,854 --> 00:11:07,813
? Sunshine
217
00:11:07,814 --> 00:11:10,253
? Ra-ai-i-ai-ain
218
00:11:10,254 --> 00:11:13,733
? Brother to brother,
in love with each other
219
00:11:13,734 --> 00:11:15,533
? But we're not gay
220
00:11:15,534 --> 00:11:17,293
? I mean it, OK? ?
221
00:11:17,294 --> 00:11:19,293
Come on, yeah!
222
00:11:19,294 --> 00:11:22,173
? We all love a happy ending
223
00:11:22,174 --> 00:11:25,853
? Hey, look, there's a clown
There's no frowns in this town
224
00:11:25,854 --> 00:11:29,413
? We all love a happy finish
225
00:11:29,414 --> 00:11:31,253
? Let's all have a ball
226
00:11:31,254 --> 00:11:35,253
? Cos life is a musical
227
00:11:38,014 --> 00:11:39,893
? The Midnight Beast are everywhere
228
00:11:39,894 --> 00:11:42,053
? Now everybody throw
your hands in the air
229
00:11:42,054 --> 00:11:43,933
? The Midnight Beast are in the place
230
00:11:43,934 --> 00:11:47,093
? Now everybody slap
yourself in the face
231
00:11:47,094 --> 00:11:51,093
? Now everybody slap
your friend in the face
232
00:11:55,974 --> 00:11:58,573
? Ohhhhhhhh!
233
00:11:58,574 --> 00:12:01,533
? We all love a happy ending
234
00:12:01,534 --> 00:12:03,293
? I once was a limb
235
00:12:03,294 --> 00:12:05,973
? Now I'm dressed as a tree
236
00:12:05,974 --> 00:12:08,693
? We all love a happy finish
237
00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:12,693
? No need to have timing,
we're all bloody miming
238
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:17,573
? We all love a happy ending
239
00:12:17,574 --> 00:12:21,775
? You'll look like a dick and
you'll dance till you're sick. ?
240
00:12:31,106 --> 00:12:33,905
What show would be complete without
an interview section.
241
00:12:33,906 --> 00:12:36,905
The boys are asleep
but I've got the next best thing.
242
00:12:36,906 --> 00:12:38,865
Bogdan from the cafe.
243
00:12:38,866 --> 00:12:40,865
Please welcome... Now.
244
00:12:40,866 --> 00:12:44,865
Bogdan from the cafe.
245
00:12:45,706 --> 00:12:46,745
Awesome.
246
00:12:46,746 --> 00:12:49,985
Bogdan, welcome to the show.
247
00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:51,585
You're welcome.
248
00:12:51,586 --> 00:12:53,865
Now, you work in the cafe.
249
00:12:53,866 --> 00:12:55,385
You own the cafe.
250
00:12:55,386 --> 00:12:58,265
What do you sell there?
251
00:12:58,266 --> 00:13:02,265
Eggs.
252
00:13:03,106 --> 00:13:05,665
What else do you sell there?
253
00:13:05,666 --> 00:13:08,545
Bacon.
254
00:13:08,546 --> 00:13:12,105
What else do you sell
in the cafe, Bogdan?
255
00:13:12,106 --> 00:13:13,105
Napkins.
256
00:13:13,106 --> 00:13:14,305
Oh, really? No, you don't.
257
00:13:14,306 --> 00:13:16,105
For 5p.
258
00:13:16,106 --> 00:13:17,705
Tight.
259
00:13:17,706 --> 00:13:21,705
The next one
is specially for Bogdan.
260
00:13:21,866 --> 00:13:23,625
It's called Strategy Wanking.
261
00:13:23,626 --> 00:13:27,625
What? What are you talking...?
262
00:13:37,986 --> 00:13:40,865
? You're stressed about a meeting
Cos you haven't got a clue
263
00:13:40,866 --> 00:13:44,145
? Your girlfriend won't have sex
With you because she's got the flu
264
00:13:44,146 --> 00:13:47,665
? Your cat won't eat it's dinner
Cos it doesn't like the taste
265
00:13:47,666 --> 00:13:51,665
? Your parents had a baby
And you're sad you've been replaced
266
00:13:52,946 --> 00:13:56,465
? Act like you mean it
267
00:13:56,466 --> 00:13:59,225
? Don't make a sound
268
00:13:59,226 --> 00:14:01,465
? Keep it a secret
269
00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:02,985
? People in the place
Gotta listen up, right
270
00:14:02,986 --> 00:14:04,425
? We gonna get loose
In our pants tonight
271
00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:06,145
? Strategy Wanking
272
00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:07,825
? Oh-oh-oh
273
00:14:07,826 --> 00:14:09,585
? Got to cure your frustration
274
00:14:09,586 --> 00:14:11,145
? Oh-oh-oh
275
00:14:11,146 --> 00:14:13,065
? Strategy Wanking
276
00:14:13,066 --> 00:14:14,745
? Oh-oh-oh
277
00:14:14,746 --> 00:14:18,745
? It's only meditation
278
00:14:20,946 --> 00:14:24,505
? You could've scored
The winning goal But you missed the shot
279
00:14:24,506 --> 00:14:27,705
? You've seen the monkeys
Procreating Boy it's got you hot
280
00:14:27,706 --> 00:14:31,385
? You owe the mob some money
But you'll never find the cash
281
00:14:31,386 --> 00:14:35,385
? You found out you got herpes
When you thought it was a rash
282
00:14:36,186 --> 00:14:39,465
? Urge the temptation
283
00:14:39,466 --> 00:14:42,825
? Don't feel ashamed
284
00:14:42,826 --> 00:14:44,625
? Feel the inflation
285
00:14:44,626 --> 00:14:45,985
? People in the place
Put your hands down there
286
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,505
? And shake it all around
Like you just don't care
287
00:14:47,506 --> 00:14:49,305
? Strategy Wanking
288
00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:50,545
? Oh-oh-oh
289
00:14:50,546 --> 00:14:52,745
? Undercover masturbation
290
00:14:52,746 --> 00:14:54,065
? Oh-oh-oh
291
00:14:54,066 --> 00:14:55,785
? Strategy Wanking
292
00:14:55,786 --> 00:14:57,345
? Oh-oh-oh
293
00:14:57,346 --> 00:15:00,665
? When the pussy's on vacation
294
00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:02,385
? It's not dumb
295
00:15:02,386 --> 00:15:04,465
? It's fun
296
00:15:04,466 --> 00:15:07,465
? It only takes one
297
00:15:07,466 --> 00:15:09,945
? Strategy Wanking
298
00:15:09,946 --> 00:15:11,385
? Oh-oh-oh
299
00:15:11,386 --> 00:15:12,585
? Strategy Wanking
300
00:15:12,586 --> 00:15:13,785
? Oh-oh-oh
301
00:15:40,826 --> 00:15:43,985
? You hit the floor
302
00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:47,945
? With your new song
303
00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:51,265
? It's immature
304
00:15:51,266 --> 00:15:53,905
? Your career's bombed
305
00:15:53,906 --> 00:15:56,825
? Tragedy Wanking
306
00:15:56,826 --> 00:16:00,265
? Got to pick up the pieces
307
00:16:00,266 --> 00:16:03,665
? They call it Tragedy Wanking
308
00:16:03,666 --> 00:16:07,665
? When you've just been defeated
309
00:16:10,226 --> 00:16:12,225
? Strategy Wanking
310
00:16:12,226 --> 00:16:13,385
? Oh-oh-oh
311
00:16:13,386 --> 00:16:15,505
? You won't feel neglected
312
00:16:15,506 --> 00:16:17,225
? Oh-oh-oh
313
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,865
? Strategy Wanking
314
00:16:18,866 --> 00:16:20,225
? Oh-oh-oh
315
00:16:20,226 --> 00:16:23,825
? You'll never be rejected
316
00:16:23,826 --> 00:16:25,425
? It's not dumb
317
00:16:25,426 --> 00:16:27,145
? It's fun
318
00:16:27,146 --> 00:16:30,385
? It only takes one
319
00:16:30,386 --> 00:16:31,905
? Strategy Wanking
320
00:16:31,906 --> 00:16:33,425
? Oh-oh-oh
321
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:35,305
? Strategy Wanking
322
00:16:35,306 --> 00:16:39,305
? Oh-oh-oh. ?
323
00:16:44,186 --> 00:16:45,745
(BLEEP) loser!
324
00:16:45,746 --> 00:16:48,625
Oh, yeah, shouting at me
in my own house.
325
00:16:48,626 --> 00:16:50,185
It's not my house, I live next door.
326
00:16:50,186 --> 00:16:51,945
I will see you (BLEEP).
327
00:16:51,946 --> 00:16:54,065
You, I know where you are.
328
00:16:54,066 --> 00:16:54,625
Sloman.
329
00:16:54,626 --> 00:16:56,505
Shut up!
330
00:16:56,506 --> 00:16:57,985
All right.
331
00:16:57,986 --> 00:17:00,105
What the...?
What the fuck are you doing?
332
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:01,825
Hello, boys.
333
00:17:01,826 --> 00:17:05,825
Nice to have you here
and for you to wake up, eh?
334
00:17:05,946 --> 00:17:07,185
What are you playing at?
335
00:17:07,186 --> 00:17:08,545
I was here for the party.
336
00:17:08,546 --> 00:17:09,345
What are these?
337
00:17:09,346 --> 00:17:10,385
What party?
338
00:17:10,386 --> 00:17:11,665
Just some cameras.
339
00:17:11,666 --> 00:17:13,185
We didn't have a party.
340
00:17:13,186 --> 00:17:14,745
Yeah, we had a crazy party.
341
00:17:14,746 --> 00:17:16,785
I downed that beer. Remember?
342
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:19,705
There was no party.
343
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,985
And next up, Lez Be Friends.
344
00:17:22,986 --> 00:17:24,945
What?
345
00:17:24,946 --> 00:17:27,265
? I'm at a party
I'm a girl machine
346
00:17:27,266 --> 00:17:30,305
? I'm gonna have sex with them all,
If you know what I mean
347
00:17:30,306 --> 00:17:33,465
? It's like a sweet sixteen
But the girls are eighteen
348
00:17:33,466 --> 00:17:36,225
? And I can't wait to peel 'em
Like a tangerine
349
00:17:36,226 --> 00:17:39,545
? I'm gonna g-go down on 'em
Like a submarine
350
00:17:39,546 --> 00:17:42,185
? Submarines are fun
He-he-he-he-he
351
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:45,145
? I walk to a hottie
And turn on my charm
352
00:17:45,146 --> 00:17:48,425
? But before I can start
I hear a rape alarm
353
00:17:48,426 --> 00:17:49,545
? It's going...
354
00:17:49,546 --> 00:17:51,225
? I can't feel my ears
I think they're bleeding
355
00:17:51,226 --> 00:17:52,305
? From the...
356
00:17:52,306 --> 00:17:54,625
? I can't work out
Why the girls are screaming
357
00:17:54,626 --> 00:17:56,385
? I'm the best-looking boy
In the world
358
00:17:56,386 --> 00:17:59,705
? Oh, wait
I bet she likes kissing girls
359
00:17:59,706 --> 00:18:01,785
? If a girl won't come round
360
00:18:01,786 --> 00:18:03,745
? She must be a lesbian
361
00:18:03,746 --> 00:18:04,905
? Or turns me down
362
00:18:04,906 --> 00:18:06,745
? She must be a lesbian
363
00:18:06,746 --> 00:18:08,865
? If she doesn't fancy me
364
00:18:08,866 --> 00:18:10,065
? Way-oh
365
00:18:10,066 --> 00:18:11,945
? She must bat for the other team
366
00:18:11,946 --> 00:18:13,025
? She's a lesbian
367
00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:15,585
? Take two
It's my rapping debut
368
00:18:15,586 --> 00:18:18,705
? I'm having trouble trying to find
A better girl to pursue
369
00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:20,385
? I'm like a fire truck
370
00:18:20,386 --> 00:18:22,185
? What? Full of muscly guys?
371
00:18:22,186 --> 00:18:24,465
? I meant a pun where I compare
The hose to my (BLEEP) size
372
00:18:24,466 --> 00:18:26,465
? And then I see her
And I start feeling sick
373
00:18:26,466 --> 00:18:29,745
? I say my name is Pogo
You want to jump on my stick?
374
00:18:29,746 --> 00:18:32,385
? I woo her with my words,
Ask if I can poker face?
375
00:18:32,386 --> 00:18:35,785
? She doesn't see the funny side
And sprays my face with mace
376
00:18:35,786 --> 00:18:38,345
? If a girl won't come round
377
00:18:38,346 --> 00:18:39,785
? She must be a lesbian
378
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:40,945
? Or turns me down
379
00:18:40,946 --> 00:18:42,785
? She must be a lesbian
380
00:18:42,786 --> 00:18:44,105
? If she don't like me
381
00:18:44,106 --> 00:18:45,945
? She must be a lesbian
382
00:18:45,946 --> 00:18:47,305
? I'll let her down lightly
383
00:18:47,306 --> 00:18:48,465
? She must be a lesbian
384
00:18:48,466 --> 00:18:51,665
? If a girl won't kiss
She's taking the piss
385
00:18:51,666 --> 00:18:53,985
? Or get down with this
I can't believe it
386
00:18:53,986 --> 00:18:56,785
? If she don't give me the eye
387
00:18:56,786 --> 00:18:57,905
? Way-oh
388
00:18:57,906 --> 00:18:59,545
? She must drive on the other side
389
00:18:59,546 --> 00:19:01,425
? She's a lesbian
390
00:19:01,426 --> 00:19:02,745
? It's your birthday
391
00:19:02,746 --> 00:19:03,785
? You go, girl
392
00:19:03,786 --> 00:19:05,345
? What's your name?
393
00:19:05,346 --> 00:19:09,345
? I like your... shoes
394
00:19:11,946 --> 00:19:13,945
? We are two boys
395
00:19:13,946 --> 00:19:15,745
? And we're looking for two girls
396
00:19:15,746 --> 00:19:18,545
? They are two girls
Let's talk to the girls
397
00:19:18,546 --> 00:19:20,425
? How are you?
What's your name?
398
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:21,745
? I try to talk but I just came
399
00:19:21,746 --> 00:19:23,225
? In my pants
I am sad
400
00:19:23,226 --> 00:19:24,865
? Chatting up girls is really rad.
401
00:19:24,866 --> 00:19:27,185
? Les-lesbians
402
00:19:27,186 --> 00:19:29,105
? That girl
She must be a lesbian
403
00:19:29,106 --> 00:19:31,665
? She's a lesbian
404
00:19:31,666 --> 00:19:32,865
? Les-lesbians
405
00:19:32,866 --> 00:19:35,265
? That girl
She must be a lesbian
406
00:19:35,266 --> 00:19:39,265
? She's a lesbian. ?
407
00:19:44,626 --> 00:19:46,065
So, let me get this straight.
408
00:19:46,066 --> 00:19:49,745
You broke into our flat
whilst we were sleeping,
409
00:19:49,746 --> 00:19:53,745
you've set up cameras and you've
started to make your own TV show?
410
00:19:54,066 --> 00:19:56,825
Not that bad. I didn't break in,
I sort of snuck in.
411
00:19:56,826 --> 00:19:59,505
And I didn't touch any of you
when you were asleep.
412
00:19:59,506 --> 00:20:01,265
It's still a bit weird though,
isn't it?
413
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:02,745
It's really weird.
414
00:20:02,746 --> 00:20:06,425
Why don't we watch
funny video clips on the internet?
415
00:20:06,426 --> 00:20:07,865
I know some hilarious ones.
416
00:20:07,866 --> 00:20:10,225
No, I don't...
417
00:20:10,226 --> 00:20:11,545
I don't know.
418
00:20:11,546 --> 00:20:12,865
I think you'd better go home.
419
00:20:12,866 --> 00:20:14,665
Just for a bit. Please.
420
00:20:14,666 --> 00:20:15,905
Please.
421
00:20:15,906 --> 00:20:17,865
No.
422
00:20:17,866 --> 00:20:18,985
Please.
423
00:20:18,986 --> 00:20:21,265
One minute. One minute.
424
00:20:21,266 --> 00:20:22,865
Twenty.
425
00:20:22,866 --> 00:20:23,985
Twenty minutes.
426
00:20:23,986 --> 00:20:26,105
Four.
427
00:20:26,106 --> 00:20:27,345
Eleven minutes.
428
00:20:27,346 --> 00:20:29,305
Four and a half.
429
00:20:29,306 --> 00:20:30,305
Nine minutes.
430
00:20:30,306 --> 00:20:31,945
All right, five. Five.
431
00:20:31,946 --> 00:20:34,225
Just five. Five minutes.
432
00:20:34,226 --> 00:20:35,945
All right, five minutes, cool.
433
00:20:35,946 --> 00:20:39,745
I know a great clip about a monkey
pissing into its own mouth.
434
00:20:39,746 --> 00:20:43,745
Check it out.
435
00:20:48,626 --> 00:20:51,705
? Now that we rolling in dough
Let's get a yacht with a bed
436
00:20:51,706 --> 00:20:54,825
? But we don't have enough
Let's buy a dinghy instead
437
00:20:54,826 --> 00:20:58,105
? We wanna drink Cristal
But settled with soda
438
00:20:58,106 --> 00:21:01,585
? We couldn't buy a Porsche
Let's pimp out a Skoda. Yeah!
439
00:21:01,586 --> 00:21:03,585
? Medium pimpin'
Living the dream
440
00:21:03,586 --> 00:21:06,625
? Instead of caviar, bitch
Got vanilla ice cream
441
00:21:06,626 --> 00:21:09,785
? No care in the world
Just got numerous pounds
442
00:21:09,786 --> 00:21:11,585
? We only travel first class
On the underground
443
00:21:11,586 --> 00:21:13,425
? Medium pimpin'
444
00:21:13,426 --> 00:21:14,545
? Car with wheels
445
00:21:14,546 --> 00:21:16,225
? Moderately pimpin'
446
00:21:16,226 --> 00:21:17,745
? Fancy meals
447
00:21:17,746 --> 00:21:19,105
? Averagely pimpin'
448
00:21:19,106 --> 00:21:20,545
? Sex appeal
449
00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:24,105
? Medium pimpin'
Pimpin' pimpin'
450
00:21:24,106 --> 00:21:26,705
? Train to Soho
Pick up some ho-hoes
451
00:21:26,706 --> 00:21:29,905
? Can only get a chat
Not enough for a blow-blow
452
00:21:29,906 --> 00:21:32,665
? Ha! Medium bitches
Hard to afford
453
00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:35,905
? I shop so much at ASDA
I'm sponsored by George
454
00:21:35,906 --> 00:21:38,585
? We wanted some dancers
But children were cheaper
455
00:21:38,586 --> 00:21:41,545
? Got so much fucking money
I could buy your sister
456
00:21:41,546 --> 00:21:43,225
? Buy your mama
457
00:21:43,226 --> 00:21:44,505
? Buy your papa
458
00:21:44,506 --> 00:21:47,665
? Dress 'em up as animals
And take a picture
459
00:21:47,666 --> 00:21:49,705
? Medium pimpin'
460
00:21:49,706 --> 00:21:50,985
? Chandelier
461
00:21:50,986 --> 00:21:51,785
? Standardly pimpin'
462
00:21:51,786 --> 00:21:53,665
? Unlimited beer
463
00:21:53,666 --> 00:21:55,265
? Mediocre pimpin'
464
00:21:55,266 --> 00:21:56,625
? New career
465
00:21:56,626 --> 00:22:00,465
? Medium pimpin'
Pimpin' pimpin'
466
00:22:00,466 --> 00:22:02,265
? N-N-N-Now I am a rich man
467
00:22:02,266 --> 00:22:05,305
? Na-na, na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na-naaa
468
00:22:05,306 --> 00:22:08,345
? Medium pimpin'
469
00:22:08,346 --> 00:22:12,185
? Medium pimpin'
470
00:22:12,186 --> 00:22:14,625
? Medium gangster
Medium height
471
00:22:14,626 --> 00:22:15,985
? Ba-na-na-na
472
00:22:15,986 --> 00:22:17,025
? Optician told me
I got medium sight
473
00:22:17,026 --> 00:22:18,465
? Ba-na-na-na
474
00:22:18,466 --> 00:22:20,025
? Average pits
With an average smell
475
00:22:20,026 --> 00:22:21,305
? Ba-na-na-na
476
00:22:21,306 --> 00:22:22,625
? And downstairs
Pretty average as well
477
00:22:22,626 --> 00:22:24,225
? Ba-na-na-na
478
00:22:24,226 --> 00:22:25,865
? Medium dance
With a minimal beat
479
00:22:25,866 --> 00:22:27,505
? Ba-na-na-na
480
00:22:27,506 --> 00:22:28,345
? Minimum clothes
On medium seats
481
00:22:28,346 --> 00:22:29,825
? Ba-na-na-na
482
00:22:29,826 --> 00:22:32,265
? Medium shoulders, minimal hands
483
00:22:32,266 --> 00:22:33,825
? Spread your legs, Lois Lane
484
00:22:33,826 --> 00:22:35,305
? I'm super-medium-man
485
00:22:35,306 --> 00:22:36,665
? Medium pimpin'
486
00:22:36,666 --> 00:22:37,705
? Bronze shoes
487
00:22:37,706 --> 00:22:39,185
? Moderately pimpin'
488
00:22:39,186 --> 00:22:40,745
? Bronze cane
489
00:22:40,746 --> 00:22:41,945
? Averagely pimpin'
490
00:22:41,946 --> 00:22:43,305
? Bronze gloves
491
00:22:43,306 --> 00:22:45,105
? Medium pimpin'
492
00:22:45,106 --> 00:22:46,465
? Bronze brain
493
00:22:46,466 --> 00:22:47,505
? Wow
494
00:22:47,506 --> 00:22:48,865
? Now I am a rich man
495
00:22:48,866 --> 00:22:50,985
? Na-na, na-na, na-na
Na-na-na-na-naaa
496
00:22:50,986 --> 00:22:53,745
? Medium pimpin'
497
00:22:53,746 --> 00:22:54,985
? Bigger than small
498
00:22:54,986 --> 00:22:56,945
? Medium pimpin'
499
00:22:56,946 --> 00:23:00,945
? Smaller than big
500
00:23:01,306 --> 00:23:02,665
? Ba-na-na-na
501
00:23:02,666 --> 00:23:03,865
? Medium pimpin' baby
502
00:23:03,866 --> 00:23:05,145
? Ba-na-na-na
503
00:23:05,146 --> 00:23:06,905
? That's right spending cheese
504
00:23:06,906 --> 00:23:08,345
? Ba-na-na-na
505
00:23:08,346 --> 00:23:08,985
? Cheese?
506
00:23:08,986 --> 00:23:10,025
? Yeah, that means money
507
00:23:10,026 --> 00:23:10,745
? Ba-na-na-na
508
00:23:10,746 --> 00:23:12,076
? Oh. ?
509
00:23:12,126 --> 00:23:16,676
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
36072
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof