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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,359 ? I wanna play Cluedo with my bros 2 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:20,439 ? I wanna paint rainbows on my toes 3 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:22,359 ? I don't wanna ho, I want... ? 4 00:00:22,764 --> 00:00:26,603 Hello and welcome to the Sloman Show, 5 00:00:26,604 --> 00:00:29,283 aka things I've got on my laptop 6 00:00:29,289 --> 00:00:31,048 of the Midnight Beast that I want to show you. 7 00:00:31,134 --> 00:00:33,693 I've done that too bright, it's too bright. 8 00:00:33,694 --> 00:00:37,693 Woo! I've been partying all night long with the Midnight Beast. 9 00:00:37,774 --> 00:00:41,413 It was a crazy party. When I say party, I mean 10 00:00:41,414 --> 00:00:42,733 par-tay. 11 00:00:42,734 --> 00:00:45,653 So for the first clip I've got for you, 12 00:00:45,654 --> 00:00:49,653 it's called I Kicked A Shark In Its Face. 13 00:00:49,654 --> 00:00:51,093 ? The Mid-night Beast! ? 14 00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:54,813 We're the greatest unsigned gimmick rap band from southwest London. 15 00:00:54,814 --> 00:00:56,573 We're not unsigned because we're shit, 16 00:00:56,574 --> 00:00:58,653 we're unsigned because corporations suck! 17 00:00:58,654 --> 00:01:00,413 And because we're shit. 18 00:01:00,414 --> 00:01:02,413 Shut up, Ash. 19 00:01:02,414 --> 00:01:05,213 ? Mum, your little boys flown from the nest 20 00:01:05,214 --> 00:01:06,893 ? Moved in with his best boyfriends 21 00:01:06,894 --> 00:01:08,013 ? We're the best 22 00:01:08,014 --> 00:01:11,053 ? To a very big mansion of a crib ? No more nappies, no more bibs... ? 23 00:01:11,054 --> 00:01:11,893 What? 24 00:01:11,894 --> 00:01:12,973 Nothing. 25 00:01:12,974 --> 00:01:14,733 ? We've got our own fridge 26 00:01:14,734 --> 00:01:16,973 ? The wide world's very, very mean 27 00:01:16,974 --> 00:01:20,613 ? But Mum, I can handle myself, you'll soon see! 28 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:23,933 ? Just the other day I was walking, felt a tap on my shoulder 29 00:01:23,934 --> 00:01:26,493 ? There's a shark standing there and he looks much older 30 00:01:26,494 --> 00:01:29,053 ? He's like "Raar raar raar" 31 00:01:29,054 --> 00:01:31,493 ? I turn around and I'm like "What the hell?" 32 00:01:31,494 --> 00:01:34,133 ? He looks back at me, he's like "Raar raar raar" 33 00:01:34,134 --> 00:01:37,853 ? I look at him and I'm like "What the hell? 34 00:01:37,854 --> 00:01:39,853 ? "What the hell?" 35 00:01:39,854 --> 00:01:43,373 ? Then I kicked the shark in the face 36 00:01:43,374 --> 00:01:46,613 ? He kicked the shark in the face 37 00:01:46,614 --> 00:01:48,573 ? Then I kicked the shark in the face 38 00:01:48,574 --> 00:01:52,573 ? His face was a total disgrace 39 00:01:52,574 --> 00:01:55,773 ? Humans are fitter 40 00:01:55,774 --> 00:01:58,373 ? You can't punch me with a flipper 41 00:02:05,654 --> 00:02:08,893 ? I'm sitting on my arse playing Xbox games 42 00:02:08,894 --> 00:02:11,893 ? Then I hear a voice and it's calling out my name 43 00:02:11,894 --> 00:02:15,173 ? I'm like "Yo, what you want, motherfucker?" 44 00:02:15,174 --> 00:02:17,933 ? He's like "Yo, y-y-you motherfucker" 45 00:02:17,934 --> 00:02:19,293 ? What happened next? 46 00:02:19,294 --> 00:02:20,573 ? I'm getting to that 47 00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:23,253 ? Zip up my flies, roll my sleeves, grab a baseball bat 48 00:02:23,254 --> 00:02:26,853 ? I look left, look right, but there's no one around 49 00:02:26,854 --> 00:02:29,733 ? Then a bear, tap, tap, pulls me to the ground 50 00:02:29,734 --> 00:02:31,093 ? He's like "Raar raar raar" 51 00:02:31,094 --> 00:02:33,893 ? Then I get up and I'm like "What the fuck?" 52 00:02:33,894 --> 00:02:37,293 ? He looks back and he's like "Raar raar raar" 53 00:02:37,294 --> 00:02:39,853 ? I'm not even scared, I'm like "What the fuck? 54 00:02:39,854 --> 00:02:42,773 ? "W-w-w-what the fuck?" 55 00:02:42,774 --> 00:02:46,053 ? Then I hit the bear in the balls 56 00:02:46,054 --> 00:02:48,893 ? He hit the bear in the balls 57 00:02:48,894 --> 00:02:52,093 ? Take one for the team to the balls 58 00:02:52,094 --> 00:02:55,773 ? Should have protected his balls 59 00:02:55,774 --> 00:02:58,333 ? Go cry to ya' momma 60 00:02:58,334 --> 00:03:01,253 ? A bear couldn't cook carbonara 61 00:03:01,254 --> 00:03:03,813 ? I hit the bear in the balls 62 00:03:03,814 --> 00:03:07,813 ? He hit the bear in the balls 63 00:03:09,174 --> 00:03:12,133 ? Swim with a school of fish 64 00:03:12,134 --> 00:03:15,053 ? Hunt with a pack of wolves 65 00:03:15,054 --> 00:03:19,053 ? The only thing I know is I love animals 66 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:23,573 ? We put this bit in the song 67 00:03:23,574 --> 00:03:26,533 ? So the animal lovers don't come for us 68 00:03:26,534 --> 00:03:27,813 ? I love animals 69 00:03:27,814 --> 00:03:29,613 ? We put this bit in the song 70 00:03:29,614 --> 00:03:33,613 ? So the animal lovers don't come for us 71 00:03:34,134 --> 00:03:38,133 ? Then I kicked the shark in the face 72 00:03:47,534 --> 00:03:49,773 ? Humans are winners 73 00:03:49,774 --> 00:03:52,093 ? Cos we'll have you later for dinner 74 00:03:52,094 --> 00:03:55,373 ? Unless you're vegetarian 75 00:03:55,374 --> 00:03:59,373 ? And that's OK, being vegetarian's fine with me-e-ay. ? 76 00:04:02,494 --> 00:04:04,893 Hello and welcome back to the Simon Show, 77 00:04:04,894 --> 00:04:08,133 aka things what I've got on my hard drive. 78 00:04:08,134 --> 00:04:12,133 This next song is called Quirky. Quirky. 79 00:04:16,894 --> 00:04:20,373 ? Cos I'm quirky 80 00:04:20,374 --> 00:04:23,893 ? Cos I'm quirky 81 00:04:23,894 --> 00:04:26,453 ? Cos I'm quirky 82 00:04:26,454 --> 00:04:28,813 ? When I'm 30 ? Why? 83 00:04:28,814 --> 00:04:30,053 ? Cos I'm quirky 84 00:04:30,054 --> 00:04:33,173 ? Not married but I wear a wedding ring on my hand 85 00:04:33,174 --> 00:04:37,053 ? I go to sleep when I want, cos I don't have bedtime planned 86 00:04:37,054 --> 00:04:40,573 ? Don't obey by the rules, sometimes I don't even care 87 00:04:40,574 --> 00:04:43,853 ? If I'm out eating at a buffet, I'll have more than my share 88 00:04:43,854 --> 00:04:46,533 ? What?! ? I'm a bad influence 89 00:04:46,534 --> 00:04:47,733 ? Don't hang around with me 90 00:04:47,734 --> 00:04:50,173 ? I ride my bike on the pavement, wear my clothes in the shower 91 00:04:50,174 --> 00:04:51,733 ? I'm straight up crazy 92 00:04:51,734 --> 00:04:53,733 ? I've got a beard ? I've got an afro 93 00:04:53,734 --> 00:04:56,053 ? I've got eyebrows that rock 94 00:04:56,054 --> 00:05:00,053 ? So if you want to out-quirky us, then take your best shot 95 00:05:02,494 --> 00:05:04,853 ? I don't sing in tune, why? 96 00:05:04,854 --> 00:05:06,533 ? Cos I'm quirky 97 00:05:06,534 --> 00:05:09,733 ? Backwards lyrics my of all rap I ? Cos I'm quirky 98 00:05:09,734 --> 00:05:12,053 ? I sip my coffee through a straw, bitch 99 00:05:12,054 --> 00:05:13,293 ? Cos I'm quirky 100 00:05:13,294 --> 00:05:16,213 ? And I still rock a cap when I'm thirty 101 00:05:16,214 --> 00:05:18,573 ? Why? ? Cos I'm quirky 102 00:05:18,574 --> 00:05:21,453 ? The other day, I had a piece of toast 103 00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:24,973 ? But I didn't even butter it, it tasted gross 104 00:05:24,974 --> 00:05:28,413 ? I don't care what I do, I'm a real live wire 105 00:05:28,414 --> 00:05:32,253 ? I hold a match till it burns, I'm playing with fire 106 00:05:32,254 --> 00:05:35,853 ? Fuck vegetables, I don't eat none of that shit 107 00:05:35,854 --> 00:05:39,493 ? Fuck education, I don't study one little bit 108 00:05:39,494 --> 00:05:43,413 ? Fuck the Fonz, he thinks he's fucking cooler than me 109 00:05:43,414 --> 00:05:47,413 ? And fuck singing this song, cos I'm too quirky to sing 110 00:05:50,534 --> 00:05:52,933 ? I wear red and pink, why? 111 00:05:52,934 --> 00:05:54,093 ? Cos I'm quirky 112 00:05:54,094 --> 00:05:56,173 ? I greet you with a goodbye 113 00:05:56,174 --> 00:05:57,733 ? Cos I'm quirky 114 00:05:57,734 --> 00:06:00,013 ? I have eleven beers a day, why? 115 00:06:00,014 --> 00:06:02,893 ? Cos I'm quir... ?No, no, that just makes you an alcoholic. 116 00:06:02,894 --> 00:06:06,013 ? ..And I still have a beard when I'm thirty. ? 117 00:06:06,014 --> 00:06:07,733 Why?! # Cos I'm quirky 118 00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:09,453 ? Ripping a hole in your jeans 119 00:06:09,454 --> 00:06:11,573 ? Owning a pink limousine 120 00:06:11,574 --> 00:06:14,653 ? Learning to ride a unicycle whilst you're dressed as the queen 121 00:06:14,654 --> 00:06:16,693 ? Fighting a bear with one hand 122 00:06:16,694 --> 00:06:18,533 ? Getting a full-body tan 123 00:06:18,534 --> 00:06:22,333 ? Joining a post-apocalyptic gothic hardcore band 124 00:06:22,334 --> 00:06:24,573 ? I like Home Alone 3 125 00:06:24,574 --> 00:06:26,373 ? Cos I'm quirky 126 00:06:26,374 --> 00:06:27,813 ? I'm drinking peppermint tea 127 00:06:27,814 --> 00:06:29,093 ? Cos I'm quirky 128 00:06:29,094 --> 00:06:31,493 ? I got a picture of the Hoff, see? 129 00:06:31,494 --> 00:06:32,853 ? Cos I'm quirky 130 00:06:32,854 --> 00:06:35,493 ? And I'll still rock a cap when I'm thirty. ? 131 00:06:35,494 --> 00:06:39,373 Why? ? Cos I'm quirky. ? 132 00:06:39,374 --> 00:06:43,253 Yo, welcome back to the crib. 133 00:06:43,254 --> 00:06:46,373 Shhh. I'm playing a video game. 134 00:06:46,374 --> 00:06:49,773 I like video games because they allow you to do things 135 00:06:49,774 --> 00:06:52,053 simulated that you can't do in real life. 136 00:06:52,054 --> 00:06:54,933 For instance, I always wanted to be an air traffic controller 137 00:06:54,934 --> 00:06:58,933 but they wouldn't let me do it cos they said I was unstable. Ha! 138 00:06:59,094 --> 00:07:03,093 Fuck that! 139 00:07:04,814 --> 00:07:08,493 ? It's the year of the beast 140 00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:10,813 ? I'm on it like Sonic 141 00:07:10,814 --> 00:07:12,413 ? It is on like Donkey Kong 142 00:07:12,414 --> 00:07:14,093 ? I'm gonna tell you like... ? 143 00:07:14,094 --> 00:07:16,053 Shut up. Just do the song. 144 00:07:16,054 --> 00:07:17,133 OK. 145 00:07:17,134 --> 00:07:19,693 ? I like games, they're hot to turn on 146 00:07:19,694 --> 00:07:22,453 ? You can cheat 'em and they don't get pissed when you're gone 147 00:07:22,454 --> 00:07:26,373 ? You complete 'em, they don't hang around wanting more 148 00:07:26,374 --> 00:07:29,093 ? And the only thing that matters is to get top score 149 00:07:29,094 --> 00:07:31,693 ? Girlfriends just whine and bitch and moan 150 00:07:31,694 --> 00:07:35,453 ? But I can get more pleasure when I'm sitting on my own 151 00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:37,733 ? Girlfriends just bitch and moan and whine 152 00:07:37,734 --> 00:07:40,573 ? Get out my fucking room, whore, read the sign 153 00:07:40,574 --> 00:07:43,733 ? I don't wanna take Pebbles for a walk in the street 154 00:07:43,734 --> 00:07:46,613 ? I don't wanna take you dancing, it hurts my feet 155 00:07:46,614 --> 00:07:50,613 ? How come my friends understand when I feel pissed off? 156 00:07:50,854 --> 00:07:53,093 ? I wanna put my cock in Lara Croft 157 00:07:53,094 --> 00:07:56,373 ? Videogames are better than girlfriends 158 00:07:56,374 --> 00:08:00,093 ? Cos you don't have to do things to keep them happy 159 00:08:00,094 --> 00:08:01,813 ? You just play them 160 00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:05,813 ? And have numerous amounts of fun 161 00:08:07,014 --> 00:08:11,013 ? Maybe life would be better as a videogame 162 00:08:11,014 --> 00:08:13,493 ? I could ride a dragon through the sky like a plane 163 00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:16,173 ? I could solve a problem with a fight to the death 164 00:08:16,174 --> 00:08:19,653 ? For the last can of beans or a glimpse of a breast 165 00:08:21,294 --> 00:08:23,773 ? I'd get paper from robbing all the banks 166 00:08:23,774 --> 00:08:25,813 ? Up, down, left, right, turn ? Gets a tank 167 00:08:25,814 --> 00:08:28,573 ? RSI on my thumbs from Call Of Duty 168 00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:31,253 ? I'd rather shoot my load at a virtual booty 169 00:08:31,254 --> 00:08:34,413 ? I don't wanna give advice on your newest dress 170 00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:37,533 ? I don't wanna wear a trilby, give it a rest 171 00:08:37,534 --> 00:08:40,533 ? How come my friends understand when I feel pissed off? 172 00:08:40,534 --> 00:08:43,773 ? I wanna put my dongle in Microsoft 173 00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:46,253 ? Videogames are better than girlfriends 174 00:08:46,254 --> 00:08:50,253 ? Cos you don't have to think of a conversation 175 00:08:50,654 --> 00:08:52,653 ? You just look at 'em 176 00:08:52,654 --> 00:08:56,653 ? And turn 'em off when you're bored and done 177 00:08:56,694 --> 00:08:59,493 ? My time with Mario 178 00:08:59,494 --> 00:09:02,613 ? Is better than time with you 179 00:09:02,614 --> 00:09:06,093 ? You can call me a saddo 180 00:09:06,094 --> 00:09:07,973 ? But it's all I want to do 181 00:09:07,974 --> 00:09:11,133 ? I'm scared of bajingas 182 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:15,133 ? They make me want to hurl 183 00:09:15,294 --> 00:09:17,893 ? As long as I have fingers 184 00:09:17,894 --> 00:09:21,893 ? I'll never need a girl. ? 185 00:09:22,774 --> 00:09:25,053 Sloman Show! 186 00:09:25,054 --> 00:09:28,813 I've dimmed the lights for dramatic effect, to be more dramatic. 187 00:09:28,814 --> 00:09:30,493 Woo. 188 00:09:30,494 --> 00:09:34,173 This next song's called Life Is A Musical. Hit! 189 00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,173 ? Da-da-da-dum-da-da-da 190 00:09:36,174 --> 00:09:38,053 ? Da-da-dum-da-da-da-da 191 00:09:38,054 --> 00:09:40,093 ? Da-da-dum-da-da-da-dum-da-da 192 00:09:40,094 --> 00:09:42,053 ? Da-da-da-dum-da-da-da 193 00:09:42,054 --> 00:09:43,733 ? Da-da-dum-da-da-da-da 194 00:09:43,734 --> 00:09:46,253 ? Da-da-dum-da-da-da-dum-da-da 195 00:09:46,254 --> 00:09:48,293 ? Da-da-dum-da-da-da-dum-da-da 196 00:09:48,294 --> 00:09:50,253 ? Da-da-dum-da-da-da-da 197 00:09:50,254 --> 00:09:54,173 ? What the fudge was Mr Jones on about back there? 198 00:09:54,174 --> 00:09:57,733 ? I don't know, man, but that guy is some kind of crazy 199 00:09:57,734 --> 00:10:01,733 ? Are we gonna show these kids how to kick it or what? 200 00:10:02,014 --> 00:10:06,013 ? You're damn right we are, let's do this thing 201 00:10:06,174 --> 00:10:10,173 ? Life could be cool like American High School 202 00:10:10,254 --> 00:10:13,933 ? High school is cool 203 00:10:13,934 --> 00:10:17,453 ? We dance around and use dollars not pounds 204 00:10:17,454 --> 00:10:21,453 ? Different currencies 205 00:10:21,894 --> 00:10:25,893 ? Standing on a car playing my guitar 206 00:10:29,494 --> 00:10:33,173 ? When we reach the final curtain 207 00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:37,173 ? That's one thing we know for certain 208 00:10:37,734 --> 00:10:41,653 ? Because we all love a happy ending 209 00:10:41,654 --> 00:10:45,653 ? We're blessed, we're the best, we're all fucking amazing 210 00:10:45,974 --> 00:10:49,253 ? We all love a happy finish 211 00:10:49,254 --> 00:10:51,373 ? Let's all have a ball 212 00:10:51,374 --> 00:10:53,933 ? Cos life is a musical 213 00:10:53,934 --> 00:10:57,933 ? Life, life, life is a musical 214 00:10:58,694 --> 00:11:02,573 ? Life, life, life is a musical 215 00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:05,853 ? We stick together whatever the weather 216 00:11:05,854 --> 00:11:07,813 ? Sunshine 217 00:11:07,814 --> 00:11:10,253 ? Ra-ai-i-ai-ain 218 00:11:10,254 --> 00:11:13,733 ? Brother to brother, in love with each other 219 00:11:13,734 --> 00:11:15,533 ? But we're not gay 220 00:11:15,534 --> 00:11:17,293 ? I mean it, OK? ? 221 00:11:17,294 --> 00:11:19,293 Come on, yeah! 222 00:11:19,294 --> 00:11:22,173 ? We all love a happy ending 223 00:11:22,174 --> 00:11:25,853 ? Hey, look, there's a clown There's no frowns in this town 224 00:11:25,854 --> 00:11:29,413 ? We all love a happy finish 225 00:11:29,414 --> 00:11:31,253 ? Let's all have a ball 226 00:11:31,254 --> 00:11:35,253 ? Cos life is a musical 227 00:11:38,014 --> 00:11:39,893 ? The Midnight Beast are everywhere 228 00:11:39,894 --> 00:11:42,053 ? Now everybody throw your hands in the air 229 00:11:42,054 --> 00:11:43,933 ? The Midnight Beast are in the place 230 00:11:43,934 --> 00:11:47,093 ? Now everybody slap yourself in the face 231 00:11:47,094 --> 00:11:51,093 ? Now everybody slap your friend in the face 232 00:11:55,974 --> 00:11:58,573 ? Ohhhhhhhh! 233 00:11:58,574 --> 00:12:01,533 ? We all love a happy ending 234 00:12:01,534 --> 00:12:03,293 ? I once was a limb 235 00:12:03,294 --> 00:12:05,973 ? Now I'm dressed as a tree 236 00:12:05,974 --> 00:12:08,693 ? We all love a happy finish 237 00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:12,693 ? No need to have timing, we're all bloody miming 238 00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:17,573 ? We all love a happy ending 239 00:12:17,574 --> 00:12:21,775 ? You'll look like a dick and you'll dance till you're sick. ? 240 00:12:31,106 --> 00:12:33,905 What show would be complete without an interview section. 241 00:12:33,906 --> 00:12:36,905 The boys are asleep but I've got the next best thing. 242 00:12:36,906 --> 00:12:38,865 Bogdan from the cafe. 243 00:12:38,866 --> 00:12:40,865 Please welcome... Now. 244 00:12:40,866 --> 00:12:44,865 Bogdan from the cafe. 245 00:12:45,706 --> 00:12:46,745 Awesome. 246 00:12:46,746 --> 00:12:49,985 Bogdan, welcome to the show. 247 00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:51,585 You're welcome. 248 00:12:51,586 --> 00:12:53,865 Now, you work in the cafe. 249 00:12:53,866 --> 00:12:55,385 You own the cafe. 250 00:12:55,386 --> 00:12:58,265 What do you sell there? 251 00:12:58,266 --> 00:13:02,265 Eggs. 252 00:13:03,106 --> 00:13:05,665 What else do you sell there? 253 00:13:05,666 --> 00:13:08,545 Bacon. 254 00:13:08,546 --> 00:13:12,105 What else do you sell in the cafe, Bogdan? 255 00:13:12,106 --> 00:13:13,105 Napkins. 256 00:13:13,106 --> 00:13:14,305 Oh, really? No, you don't. 257 00:13:14,306 --> 00:13:16,105 For 5p. 258 00:13:16,106 --> 00:13:17,705 Tight. 259 00:13:17,706 --> 00:13:21,705 The next one is specially for Bogdan. 260 00:13:21,866 --> 00:13:23,625 It's called Strategy Wanking. 261 00:13:23,626 --> 00:13:27,625 What? What are you talking...? 262 00:13:37,986 --> 00:13:40,865 ? You're stressed about a meeting Cos you haven't got a clue 263 00:13:40,866 --> 00:13:44,145 ? Your girlfriend won't have sex With you because she's got the flu 264 00:13:44,146 --> 00:13:47,665 ? Your cat won't eat it's dinner Cos it doesn't like the taste 265 00:13:47,666 --> 00:13:51,665 ? Your parents had a baby And you're sad you've been replaced 266 00:13:52,946 --> 00:13:56,465 ? Act like you mean it 267 00:13:56,466 --> 00:13:59,225 ? Don't make a sound 268 00:13:59,226 --> 00:14:01,465 ? Keep it a secret 269 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:02,985 ? People in the place Gotta listen up, right 270 00:14:02,986 --> 00:14:04,425 ? We gonna get loose In our pants tonight 271 00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:06,145 ? Strategy Wanking 272 00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:07,825 ? Oh-oh-oh 273 00:14:07,826 --> 00:14:09,585 ? Got to cure your frustration 274 00:14:09,586 --> 00:14:11,145 ? Oh-oh-oh 275 00:14:11,146 --> 00:14:13,065 ? Strategy Wanking 276 00:14:13,066 --> 00:14:14,745 ? Oh-oh-oh 277 00:14:14,746 --> 00:14:18,745 ? It's only meditation 278 00:14:20,946 --> 00:14:24,505 ? You could've scored The winning goal But you missed the shot 279 00:14:24,506 --> 00:14:27,705 ? You've seen the monkeys Procreating Boy it's got you hot 280 00:14:27,706 --> 00:14:31,385 ? You owe the mob some money But you'll never find the cash 281 00:14:31,386 --> 00:14:35,385 ? You found out you got herpes When you thought it was a rash 282 00:14:36,186 --> 00:14:39,465 ? Urge the temptation 283 00:14:39,466 --> 00:14:42,825 ? Don't feel ashamed 284 00:14:42,826 --> 00:14:44,625 ? Feel the inflation 285 00:14:44,626 --> 00:14:45,985 ? People in the place Put your hands down there 286 00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,505 ? And shake it all around Like you just don't care 287 00:14:47,506 --> 00:14:49,305 ? Strategy Wanking 288 00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:50,545 ? Oh-oh-oh 289 00:14:50,546 --> 00:14:52,745 ? Undercover masturbation 290 00:14:52,746 --> 00:14:54,065 ? Oh-oh-oh 291 00:14:54,066 --> 00:14:55,785 ? Strategy Wanking 292 00:14:55,786 --> 00:14:57,345 ? Oh-oh-oh 293 00:14:57,346 --> 00:15:00,665 ? When the pussy's on vacation 294 00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:02,385 ? It's not dumb 295 00:15:02,386 --> 00:15:04,465 ? It's fun 296 00:15:04,466 --> 00:15:07,465 ? It only takes one 297 00:15:07,466 --> 00:15:09,945 ? Strategy Wanking 298 00:15:09,946 --> 00:15:11,385 ? Oh-oh-oh 299 00:15:11,386 --> 00:15:12,585 ? Strategy Wanking 300 00:15:12,586 --> 00:15:13,785 ? Oh-oh-oh 301 00:15:40,826 --> 00:15:43,985 ? You hit the floor 302 00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:47,945 ? With your new song 303 00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:51,265 ? It's immature 304 00:15:51,266 --> 00:15:53,905 ? Your career's bombed 305 00:15:53,906 --> 00:15:56,825 ? Tragedy Wanking 306 00:15:56,826 --> 00:16:00,265 ? Got to pick up the pieces 307 00:16:00,266 --> 00:16:03,665 ? They call it Tragedy Wanking 308 00:16:03,666 --> 00:16:07,665 ? When you've just been defeated 309 00:16:10,226 --> 00:16:12,225 ? Strategy Wanking 310 00:16:12,226 --> 00:16:13,385 ? Oh-oh-oh 311 00:16:13,386 --> 00:16:15,505 ? You won't feel neglected 312 00:16:15,506 --> 00:16:17,225 ? Oh-oh-oh 313 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,865 ? Strategy Wanking 314 00:16:18,866 --> 00:16:20,225 ? Oh-oh-oh 315 00:16:20,226 --> 00:16:23,825 ? You'll never be rejected 316 00:16:23,826 --> 00:16:25,425 ? It's not dumb 317 00:16:25,426 --> 00:16:27,145 ? It's fun 318 00:16:27,146 --> 00:16:30,385 ? It only takes one 319 00:16:30,386 --> 00:16:31,905 ? Strategy Wanking 320 00:16:31,906 --> 00:16:33,425 ? Oh-oh-oh 321 00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:35,305 ? Strategy Wanking 322 00:16:35,306 --> 00:16:39,305 ? Oh-oh-oh. ? 323 00:16:44,186 --> 00:16:45,745 (BLEEP) loser! 324 00:16:45,746 --> 00:16:48,625 Oh, yeah, shouting at me in my own house. 325 00:16:48,626 --> 00:16:50,185 It's not my house, I live next door. 326 00:16:50,186 --> 00:16:51,945 I will see you (BLEEP). 327 00:16:51,946 --> 00:16:54,065 You, I know where you are. 328 00:16:54,066 --> 00:16:54,625 Sloman. 329 00:16:54,626 --> 00:16:56,505 Shut up! 330 00:16:56,506 --> 00:16:57,985 All right. 331 00:16:57,986 --> 00:17:00,105 What the...? What the fuck are you doing? 332 00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:01,825 Hello, boys. 333 00:17:01,826 --> 00:17:05,825 Nice to have you here and for you to wake up, eh? 334 00:17:05,946 --> 00:17:07,185 What are you playing at? 335 00:17:07,186 --> 00:17:08,545 I was here for the party. 336 00:17:08,546 --> 00:17:09,345 What are these? 337 00:17:09,346 --> 00:17:10,385 What party? 338 00:17:10,386 --> 00:17:11,665 Just some cameras. 339 00:17:11,666 --> 00:17:13,185 We didn't have a party. 340 00:17:13,186 --> 00:17:14,745 Yeah, we had a crazy party. 341 00:17:14,746 --> 00:17:16,785 I downed that beer. Remember? 342 00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:19,705 There was no party. 343 00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,985 And next up, Lez Be Friends. 344 00:17:22,986 --> 00:17:24,945 What? 345 00:17:24,946 --> 00:17:27,265 ? I'm at a party I'm a girl machine 346 00:17:27,266 --> 00:17:30,305 ? I'm gonna have sex with them all, If you know what I mean 347 00:17:30,306 --> 00:17:33,465 ? It's like a sweet sixteen But the girls are eighteen 348 00:17:33,466 --> 00:17:36,225 ? And I can't wait to peel 'em Like a tangerine 349 00:17:36,226 --> 00:17:39,545 ? I'm gonna g-go down on 'em Like a submarine 350 00:17:39,546 --> 00:17:42,185 ? Submarines are fun He-he-he-he-he 351 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:45,145 ? I walk to a hottie And turn on my charm 352 00:17:45,146 --> 00:17:48,425 ? But before I can start I hear a rape alarm 353 00:17:48,426 --> 00:17:49,545 ? It's going... 354 00:17:49,546 --> 00:17:51,225 ? I can't feel my ears I think they're bleeding 355 00:17:51,226 --> 00:17:52,305 ? From the... 356 00:17:52,306 --> 00:17:54,625 ? I can't work out Why the girls are screaming 357 00:17:54,626 --> 00:17:56,385 ? I'm the best-looking boy In the world 358 00:17:56,386 --> 00:17:59,705 ? Oh, wait I bet she likes kissing girls 359 00:17:59,706 --> 00:18:01,785 ? If a girl won't come round 360 00:18:01,786 --> 00:18:03,745 ? She must be a lesbian 361 00:18:03,746 --> 00:18:04,905 ? Or turns me down 362 00:18:04,906 --> 00:18:06,745 ? She must be a lesbian 363 00:18:06,746 --> 00:18:08,865 ? If she doesn't fancy me 364 00:18:08,866 --> 00:18:10,065 ? Way-oh 365 00:18:10,066 --> 00:18:11,945 ? She must bat for the other team 366 00:18:11,946 --> 00:18:13,025 ? She's a lesbian 367 00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:15,585 ? Take two It's my rapping debut 368 00:18:15,586 --> 00:18:18,705 ? I'm having trouble trying to find A better girl to pursue 369 00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:20,385 ? I'm like a fire truck 370 00:18:20,386 --> 00:18:22,185 ? What? Full of muscly guys? 371 00:18:22,186 --> 00:18:24,465 ? I meant a pun where I compare The hose to my (BLEEP) size 372 00:18:24,466 --> 00:18:26,465 ? And then I see her And I start feeling sick 373 00:18:26,466 --> 00:18:29,745 ? I say my name is Pogo You want to jump on my stick? 374 00:18:29,746 --> 00:18:32,385 ? I woo her with my words, Ask if I can poker face? 375 00:18:32,386 --> 00:18:35,785 ? She doesn't see the funny side And sprays my face with mace 376 00:18:35,786 --> 00:18:38,345 ? If a girl won't come round 377 00:18:38,346 --> 00:18:39,785 ? She must be a lesbian 378 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:40,945 ? Or turns me down 379 00:18:40,946 --> 00:18:42,785 ? She must be a lesbian 380 00:18:42,786 --> 00:18:44,105 ? If she don't like me 381 00:18:44,106 --> 00:18:45,945 ? She must be a lesbian 382 00:18:45,946 --> 00:18:47,305 ? I'll let her down lightly 383 00:18:47,306 --> 00:18:48,465 ? She must be a lesbian 384 00:18:48,466 --> 00:18:51,665 ? If a girl won't kiss She's taking the piss 385 00:18:51,666 --> 00:18:53,985 ? Or get down with this I can't believe it 386 00:18:53,986 --> 00:18:56,785 ? If she don't give me the eye 387 00:18:56,786 --> 00:18:57,905 ? Way-oh 388 00:18:57,906 --> 00:18:59,545 ? She must drive on the other side 389 00:18:59,546 --> 00:19:01,425 ? She's a lesbian 390 00:19:01,426 --> 00:19:02,745 ? It's your birthday 391 00:19:02,746 --> 00:19:03,785 ? You go, girl 392 00:19:03,786 --> 00:19:05,345 ? What's your name? 393 00:19:05,346 --> 00:19:09,345 ? I like your... shoes 394 00:19:11,946 --> 00:19:13,945 ? We are two boys 395 00:19:13,946 --> 00:19:15,745 ? And we're looking for two girls 396 00:19:15,746 --> 00:19:18,545 ? They are two girls Let's talk to the girls 397 00:19:18,546 --> 00:19:20,425 ? How are you? What's your name? 398 00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:21,745 ? I try to talk but I just came 399 00:19:21,746 --> 00:19:23,225 ? In my pants I am sad 400 00:19:23,226 --> 00:19:24,865 ? Chatting up girls is really rad. 401 00:19:24,866 --> 00:19:27,185 ? Les-lesbians 402 00:19:27,186 --> 00:19:29,105 ? That girl She must be a lesbian 403 00:19:29,106 --> 00:19:31,665 ? She's a lesbian 404 00:19:31,666 --> 00:19:32,865 ? Les-lesbians 405 00:19:32,866 --> 00:19:35,265 ? That girl She must be a lesbian 406 00:19:35,266 --> 00:19:39,265 ? She's a lesbian. ? 407 00:19:44,626 --> 00:19:46,065 So, let me get this straight. 408 00:19:46,066 --> 00:19:49,745 You broke into our flat whilst we were sleeping, 409 00:19:49,746 --> 00:19:53,745 you've set up cameras and you've started to make your own TV show? 410 00:19:54,066 --> 00:19:56,825 Not that bad. I didn't break in, I sort of snuck in. 411 00:19:56,826 --> 00:19:59,505 And I didn't touch any of you when you were asleep. 412 00:19:59,506 --> 00:20:01,265 It's still a bit weird though, isn't it? 413 00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:02,745 It's really weird. 414 00:20:02,746 --> 00:20:06,425 Why don't we watch funny video clips on the internet? 415 00:20:06,426 --> 00:20:07,865 I know some hilarious ones. 416 00:20:07,866 --> 00:20:10,225 No, I don't... 417 00:20:10,226 --> 00:20:11,545 I don't know. 418 00:20:11,546 --> 00:20:12,865 I think you'd better go home. 419 00:20:12,866 --> 00:20:14,665 Just for a bit. Please. 420 00:20:14,666 --> 00:20:15,905 Please. 421 00:20:15,906 --> 00:20:17,865 No. 422 00:20:17,866 --> 00:20:18,985 Please. 423 00:20:18,986 --> 00:20:21,265 One minute. One minute. 424 00:20:21,266 --> 00:20:22,865 Twenty. 425 00:20:22,866 --> 00:20:23,985 Twenty minutes. 426 00:20:23,986 --> 00:20:26,105 Four. 427 00:20:26,106 --> 00:20:27,345 Eleven minutes. 428 00:20:27,346 --> 00:20:29,305 Four and a half. 429 00:20:29,306 --> 00:20:30,305 Nine minutes. 430 00:20:30,306 --> 00:20:31,945 All right, five. Five. 431 00:20:31,946 --> 00:20:34,225 Just five. Five minutes. 432 00:20:34,226 --> 00:20:35,945 All right, five minutes, cool. 433 00:20:35,946 --> 00:20:39,745 I know a great clip about a monkey pissing into its own mouth. 434 00:20:39,746 --> 00:20:43,745 Check it out. 435 00:20:48,626 --> 00:20:51,705 ? Now that we rolling in dough Let's get a yacht with a bed 436 00:20:51,706 --> 00:20:54,825 ? But we don't have enough Let's buy a dinghy instead 437 00:20:54,826 --> 00:20:58,105 ? We wanna drink Cristal But settled with soda 438 00:20:58,106 --> 00:21:01,585 ? We couldn't buy a Porsche Let's pimp out a Skoda. Yeah! 439 00:21:01,586 --> 00:21:03,585 ? Medium pimpin' Living the dream 440 00:21:03,586 --> 00:21:06,625 ? Instead of caviar, bitch Got vanilla ice cream 441 00:21:06,626 --> 00:21:09,785 ? No care in the world Just got numerous pounds 442 00:21:09,786 --> 00:21:11,585 ? We only travel first class On the underground 443 00:21:11,586 --> 00:21:13,425 ? Medium pimpin' 444 00:21:13,426 --> 00:21:14,545 ? Car with wheels 445 00:21:14,546 --> 00:21:16,225 ? Moderately pimpin' 446 00:21:16,226 --> 00:21:17,745 ? Fancy meals 447 00:21:17,746 --> 00:21:19,105 ? Averagely pimpin' 448 00:21:19,106 --> 00:21:20,545 ? Sex appeal 449 00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:24,105 ? Medium pimpin' Pimpin' pimpin' 450 00:21:24,106 --> 00:21:26,705 ? Train to Soho Pick up some ho-hoes 451 00:21:26,706 --> 00:21:29,905 ? Can only get a chat Not enough for a blow-blow 452 00:21:29,906 --> 00:21:32,665 ? Ha! Medium bitches Hard to afford 453 00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:35,905 ? I shop so much at ASDA I'm sponsored by George 454 00:21:35,906 --> 00:21:38,585 ? We wanted some dancers But children were cheaper 455 00:21:38,586 --> 00:21:41,545 ? Got so much fucking money I could buy your sister 456 00:21:41,546 --> 00:21:43,225 ? Buy your mama 457 00:21:43,226 --> 00:21:44,505 ? Buy your papa 458 00:21:44,506 --> 00:21:47,665 ? Dress 'em up as animals And take a picture 459 00:21:47,666 --> 00:21:49,705 ? Medium pimpin' 460 00:21:49,706 --> 00:21:50,985 ? Chandelier 461 00:21:50,986 --> 00:21:51,785 ? Standardly pimpin' 462 00:21:51,786 --> 00:21:53,665 ? Unlimited beer 463 00:21:53,666 --> 00:21:55,265 ? Mediocre pimpin' 464 00:21:55,266 --> 00:21:56,625 ? New career 465 00:21:56,626 --> 00:22:00,465 ? Medium pimpin' Pimpin' pimpin' 466 00:22:00,466 --> 00:22:02,265 ? N-N-N-Now I am a rich man 467 00:22:02,266 --> 00:22:05,305 ? Na-na, na-na, na-na Na-na-na-na-naaa 468 00:22:05,306 --> 00:22:08,345 ? Medium pimpin' 469 00:22:08,346 --> 00:22:12,185 ? Medium pimpin' 470 00:22:12,186 --> 00:22:14,625 ? Medium gangster Medium height 471 00:22:14,626 --> 00:22:15,985 ? Ba-na-na-na 472 00:22:15,986 --> 00:22:17,025 ? Optician told me I got medium sight 473 00:22:17,026 --> 00:22:18,465 ? Ba-na-na-na 474 00:22:18,466 --> 00:22:20,025 ? Average pits With an average smell 475 00:22:20,026 --> 00:22:21,305 ? Ba-na-na-na 476 00:22:21,306 --> 00:22:22,625 ? And downstairs Pretty average as well 477 00:22:22,626 --> 00:22:24,225 ? Ba-na-na-na 478 00:22:24,226 --> 00:22:25,865 ? Medium dance With a minimal beat 479 00:22:25,866 --> 00:22:27,505 ? Ba-na-na-na 480 00:22:27,506 --> 00:22:28,345 ? Minimum clothes On medium seats 481 00:22:28,346 --> 00:22:29,825 ? Ba-na-na-na 482 00:22:29,826 --> 00:22:32,265 ? Medium shoulders, minimal hands 483 00:22:32,266 --> 00:22:33,825 ? Spread your legs, Lois Lane 484 00:22:33,826 --> 00:22:35,305 ? I'm super-medium-man 485 00:22:35,306 --> 00:22:36,665 ? Medium pimpin' 486 00:22:36,666 --> 00:22:37,705 ? Bronze shoes 487 00:22:37,706 --> 00:22:39,185 ? Moderately pimpin' 488 00:22:39,186 --> 00:22:40,745 ? Bronze cane 489 00:22:40,746 --> 00:22:41,945 ? Averagely pimpin' 490 00:22:41,946 --> 00:22:43,305 ? Bronze gloves 491 00:22:43,306 --> 00:22:45,105 ? Medium pimpin' 492 00:22:45,106 --> 00:22:46,465 ? Bronze brain 493 00:22:46,466 --> 00:22:47,505 ? Wow 494 00:22:47,506 --> 00:22:48,865 ? Now I am a rich man 495 00:22:48,866 --> 00:22:50,985 ? Na-na, na-na, na-na Na-na-na-na-naaa 496 00:22:50,986 --> 00:22:53,745 ? Medium pimpin' 497 00:22:53,746 --> 00:22:54,985 ? Bigger than small 498 00:22:54,986 --> 00:22:56,945 ? Medium pimpin' 499 00:22:56,946 --> 00:23:00,945 ? Smaller than big 500 00:23:01,306 --> 00:23:02,665 ? Ba-na-na-na 501 00:23:02,666 --> 00:23:03,865 ? Medium pimpin' baby 502 00:23:03,866 --> 00:23:05,145 ? Ba-na-na-na 503 00:23:05,146 --> 00:23:06,905 ? That's right spending cheese 504 00:23:06,906 --> 00:23:08,345 ? Ba-na-na-na 505 00:23:08,346 --> 00:23:08,985 ? Cheese? 506 00:23:08,986 --> 00:23:10,025 ? Yeah, that means money 507 00:23:10,026 --> 00:23:10,745 ? Ba-na-na-na 508 00:23:10,746 --> 00:23:12,076 ? Oh. ? 509 00:23:12,126 --> 00:23:16,676 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36073

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