Original subtitles

-♪ Go Ninja! ♪ - (Randy) I was chosen

to protect my school from the forces of evil.

I am the Ninja. I am Randy Cunningham.

♪ Smoke bomb! ♪

New Game Tuesday, Howard! What do you think it's gonna be?

Who cares, as long as it's new!

Also, on the subject of New Game Tuesday,

I'm gonna need you to not Cunningham the vid for once.

Uh, "Cunningham the vid"? What the juice is that?

That thing you do every New Game Tuesday.

You get so excited about the new game, you take all the turns.

(gasps) When have I ever?

-(video game sounds) -(Randy grunts)

Oh, my turn. I'm player two! I'm player two!

(whimpers)

(grunting and laughing)

(screams)

(groans)

See what I mean? You have a problem.

I do not "Cunningham the game."

I've never heard such a crazy thing. And to prove it, I'll let you go first.

Oh, no! You don't let me go first.

I let you let me let you go first!

(grunting)

Hey, slow down! Let me go first!

Ow!

(Greg) Bad news, boys.

Upstairs neighbor's got some toilet issues.

Skee-oo, man, skee-oo!

So whomp!

Oh, this is the worst!

There's not even a game for me to let you not let me play.

Nah, I'm not lying, I don't have eights.

-(bleeping noises) -Go fish.

Ooh, oh, you bad! (laughs)

Viceroy, less laughing,

more Ninja destroying Berzerkobot making!

Did it and done. Show him, Otto.

(gasps)

(groans) What idiot told you

to make them all rowdy and uncontrollable?

I want them rowdy and uncontrollable!

Oh, Otto, you're terrible. (chuckles)

What was that? Was he making fun of me?

-Hmm... -What... Make fun of me?

Otto!

Whoa, that smug little fellow really flew, didn't he?

Okay, it's time to get those Berzerkos berzerking.

No! I'm not doing anything until I get my Otto back.

(bawling)

This counts as a personal day!

Oh, look at me, I've gotta press something!

Button, joystick anything, we've gotta find a new game.

Oh! New games don't just fall from the sky. (gasps)

(electrical zapping)

Oh, that timed out well.

What the juice? (gasps)

Greetings. If you're watching this, you found my beloved Otto.

I need him back, so please deposit him

in the nearest McFist Industries Pickup Box.

Thank you.

Guess I'll return this to Viceroy.

But he works for my arch-enemy.

Still, it doesn't belong to me.

But there could be vital McInfo on it.

-(beeping) -Hmm.

What the juice is a shell company?

Map of toxic dump sites?

(snickers) "Dump."

(man) McFist-O-Vision presents Grave Puncher 10 Cab-Normal Behavior.

(both gasp)

Howard, we have to...

(both) ...take this to my house, right-honkin' now!

(both laugh hysterically)

-(sniffling) -(beeps)

Otto? Otto?

This is so Bruce!

I'm running over graves and I have a $30 pair!

-Hit the bonus zombie! -(videogame sounds)

Nope, that was the undertaker.

(man) And license revoked. Player two.

(laughs) That's me! I'm player two.

No, you distracted me. It's still my turn.

(man) Get yourself ready for Cab-Normal Behavior.

Come on, give me!

(both shouting)

(grunts) That's it! I'm going to the Gamehole.

where there's no Cunningham to Cunningham the vids!

One second, Nomicon, I'm about to beat my high sco...

(gasps)

(Randy) "A Ninja's wants must not blind him to other's needs."

I was gonna let Howard play. It's just, uh, it wasn't his turn yet.

(loud roar)

All right, fine, it's his turn.

Howard, it's your turn. You have two seconds to take it.

One, two. See, I tried.

Hey, buddy, where are you going?

(distorted voice) We're having a great time, you and me!

What else you got in there?

(man) Only you can cure you're dad.

(chuckles)

(Viceroy sighs) Good times, good times.

(groans)

Who does he think he is?

Thinks I'll just stand there watching while he does whatever he wants.

Nuh-uh, I'm not putting up with it anymore.

I am so sick of getting Cunninghamed.

I am fed up with that Hannibully.

(both groan)

(McFist) Hey, look who I found. Bee-boop! Bee-boop!

It's Otto! Yay! Look, everybody.

Boop. Beep.

Wow! That is just insulting.

Otto is way Brucer than that.

Uh... I mean, I assume.

He assumed right. Otto was way Brucer than that.

I miss him! (bawling)

Oh, I hear you. You know what I like to do when I miss things?

I throw myself into my work.

(grunts) Work?

You have no idea what it's like working for you.

(bawling) Otto was the one who kept me rational.

So, where are you at now?

Irrational! I need Otto back, now!

Berzerkos, find Otto!

I don't care if you have to tear the whole city apart!

Find him!

(snickering)

(nervous laugh) When you said,

"Tear the whole city apart," did you mean...?

(banging on glass)

Burn, Norrisville, burn! (snickers)

(ringtone)

Hey, uh, Cunningham...

You shouldn't have left, pal. You're missing the Grave-steroid.

Um, I think it's time to return Otto.

(laughs) I am never giving Otto back. We are having way too much fun.

Yeah, um, before you commit to anything,

Viceroy seems a little upset.

(cackling)

-Huh? Um... -(video game music)

Uh... Uh...

Uh... Huh...

Eee... you think it can wait two more levels.

-(roaring) - I do not.

Fine, I'll handle it,

-but I'm not giving Otto back. -(beeps)

(sighs) Pause it, Otto.

I've got Ninj... something to take care of. I'll be right back.

(bleeping)

No, no, no, you stay here. It could be dangerous out there.

Besides, I don't want to lose my saved games.

(electronic noises)

(loud crash)

Ah!

-Hmm. -(bawling)

Naughty robot. You make-a the boy go, "Wah wah..."

(Randy) Smoke bomb!

Ninja leap!

(grunting)

Yah!

-Ninja scoop. -(continues bawling)

-(stops bawling) -Mm-hmm.

That Ninja, he's a some good ice cream scooper.

Too easy.

Time to get back to... Otto!

What are you doing? Where are you going?

Hey, come back! I want... I mean, there's a boy, probably,

who wants to keep playing you, I'm assuming.

Huh? (gasps)

(mumbles)

(roaring)

Yah!

(video game sound)

Otto, come back!

Ooh, Viceroy, I found Otto! Viceroy?

Otto! Come back! (bawling)

Oh, you found him too.

Ha! Uh...

(grunts)

Ooh, my guts.

Ninja three for one!

(groaning)

Wow, that's really in there.

(gasps) Otto!

(gasps)

Otto!

(grunts)

Why do you have my Otto?

I didn't have him. I just, you know, someone else did and I was...

I need my Otto. Stop at nothing!

"A Ninja's wants must not blind him to other's needs."

Oh, this wasn't about letting Howard play the game.

It was about Otto. I wanted him but Viceroy needs him.

I Cunninghamed Otto and almost destroyed the city!

Huh? Huh?

Norrisville's safer when you're with Viceroy, Otto.

Ninjabot return!

(laughs) Way to go, Ninja.

When those Berzerkos catch Otto, they'll tear him apart!

-(screams) -And you thought I was a jerk.

-Why did you do that? -I did not do that!

Ooh!

Ninja one step ahead of the game!

Oh! Otto!

Oh, Ninja, how can I ever thank you?

(loud kissing) My sweet sweet baby.

Eww.

Wow, well, this feels intimate so, I'm just gonna smoke bot.

Oh, Otto! (chuckles)

Oh, good, you're doing that leaky face thing again.

-(bleeping) -(snickers)

That was about me wasn't it? What'd he say? What'd he say?

If Viceroy has Otto,

then what did you hurl into the return box?

It looked like a bowling ball with lipstick but that can't be right.

Oh, that's right. Stuff got weird in the Gamehole.

(video game music)

Listen, Howard, you were right, I do Cunningham the vids.

-I know. -But come on, me letting you go first,

that kind of makes up for it, right?

I let you let me go first.

(man) That's goal achieved. Maximum fair.

Okay, time to wreck this thing.

(rumbling)

(groaning)

Hey out of order.

-Again. -(groans)

-What a day. -But it all worked out.

(roaring)

-What say we knock off early? -Mm-hmm.

It's too big, it's too fast, it's too big and too fast!

(roaring)

We're gonna get the Ninja! Uh, what's that light mean?

(beeping)

-It means we're out of gas. -Why didn't you...?

Oh, wait, I was the last one to drive the T-bot, wasn't I?

(nervous laughter) Oh.

Um...

Smoke bomb.

Wanna know how you can make this up to me?

Go Viceroy up the launch of Operation B.B.D.!

(snickers) Viceroy up, that's what me and the robos call it.

Uh, are you sure you should be talking about Operation B.B.D.

in front of you know who?

I was, uh, smoke bomb,

but I dropped a, oh, look at this, here it is.

Okay, so smoke bomb for real this time!

You really Viceroyed up that move.

What is Operation B.B.D.?

Or the words you wrote all over our essay?

What the juice?

You know, sometimes I wonder why I let you do our homework.

And then I remember it's because I'm not gonna do it.

If only I knew what Operation B.B.D. was I could stop it.

Big Bag Dog? Box of Burning Dynamite.

-Oh, how about this: Big Bad Dog? -Already said that one.

This is so hard! I need to find out what B.B.D. means but how?

(Bash) ...so I can hear McFist yelling at his science guy

through the dumb vent in my idiot bathroom.

I'm trying to do my business but all's I can hear

is his doing his business. It's wicked distracting!

(sighs) I'll give you a "B" to stop talking!

Like, like now? Like I should stop talking now?

Like like right now? Now? What about now?

Should I stop talking now?

-Is this good? -(sighs)

That's it. If I could get into Bash's bathroom,

I can find out what McFist is up to.

Okay, Nomicon, looking to get into Bash's bathroom.

What do you got?

(all grunting)

Ninja wears a mask. Bash doesn't hang out with the Ninja.

He hangs out with mean bros. I need to look like a mean bro.

(Randy) "The mask worn too long becomes the face."

I know what I have to do, Nomicon!

If I'm gonna get into Bash's bathroom, and find out what Operation B.B.D. is,

I have to be willing to go all the way.

-Consequences-bishoo! -(razor buzzing)

(groans)

There's still time to turn back, Cunningham.

Nope, I'm kidding, there's no turning back from this.

(razor buzzing)

(gasping)

(gasping)

(screaming)

Your hair don't follow the rules.

(scoffs) Rules. I don't even know what rules are.

Rules is stuff you ain't supposed to do.

This dude don't even know what rules is.

(chuckles) Let's get out of here.

No! No! No, wait, I know what rules are!

No running in the hall! You're breaking the rules!

Huh, maybe you're a mean bro after all.

You're coming over for a playdate!

And this is my room. That's a poster of a minibike

and that's a poster of a minibike and that's a poster of a minibike.

Wow, you really like minibikes.

So, which way is the bathroom?

(chuckles) Gotta make a Mr. Grumpy, huh?

Well, the can's behind that poster... of a minibike.

Hmm. Hmm.

(McFist) Viceroy!

(groans) Come on, mohawk, work with me.

(McFist) What's the status of Operation B.B.D.?

(Viceroy) B.B.D.'s going down Friday.

This Friday.

(Bash) Hey, you ain't eating my toilet sandwich, are you?

(gags)

-Are you serious? -Yeah.

Operation B.B.D.'s going down this Friday but I don't know where.

Toilet snacks! How have I not come up with that?

I have to get back in that bathroom.

You ain't sitting with that shoob, are ya?

Uh, what shoob?

This shoob? Nah, I was just walking with him so I could do this.

(gasps) What the juice?

(laughter)

I'm so sorry. I had to do it.

Ha, ha! That kid dropped his tray when I hit it.

(laughter continues)

Sweet innocent rectangle pizza.

(whimpering) You never hurt anyone.

A new poster? Get it up there! Bet it's a minibike.

(McFist) Hmm, Viceroy, are you sure the school is the right place,

the absolute best place

to initiate Operation B.B.D., at the school?

(Viceroy) That's where he's going to be.

-Friday at school, just say what it is. -(knocking)

(Bash) Come look at this poster or you're not my friend.

-(squashing noise) -Seriously!

When and the where but not the what? What's the what?

Yeah, speaking of, what's the what with you spiking my lunch?

Don't get your cheese in a wad. I had to. You get it.

I don't. I don't get it.

Just 'cause you get a mohawk, doesn't mean...

Hey! He's talking to that shoob!

Uh, more like spraying this shoob in the face.

-(gurgling) -(laughs)

(groans)

(blowtorch hissing)

Done. Now the only thing that could go wrong

is if something happens to the truck bringing this to the school.

(chuckles) What are the chances?

-No, seriously, what are the chances? -Slim.

More like fat, which is the opposite of slim.

-(bell dings) -(Bash) Yo, you done in there?

I heard my bathroom burrito ding and I'm hungry.

(groans)

Hot burrito! Hot burrito!

-(splash) -(toilet flushs)

What do you think you're doing, shoob?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did I spike your lunch or spray you with water?

No, you slammed my hair in my locker. Let me out.

I've gotta Ninja when Operation B.B.D. goes down.

I get it, you want to stop this whatever it is,

but if you have to wonk your best friend's cheese, is it worth it?

Is it, Cunningham?

(Slimovitz) Attention, students,

a truck carrying mysterious cargo is on its way.

Please join me outside for a completely non-school related assembly

with Hannibal McFist.

I've gotta stop that truck!

Let me out of here, you hunkin' shoob!

Oh, ask your new friends for help.

I have a completely non-school related assembly to attend.

(groaning)

(McFist) Today is a historic day,

a day that will be remembered forever!

Truck's still five minutes away. Just keep talking.

No problemo. I am really, really, really, really, really, really,

really, really, really...

Ahh... really...

Ninja semi snag.

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Whoa! Ya! Whoa!

Ha! Operation B.B.D.? More like Operation Ninja Slice.

(banging)

-...really... really... -(bell dings)

...really excited about today.

I have some unfinished business with one of you.

-Bash, get up here! -(all gasping)

-Me? What did I do? (groans) -Just get up here!

It's come to my attention that my stepson

is actually passing his English class.

I get "B"s to stop talking.

What does he mean by that?

I'll give you a "B" not to worry about it.

Make it an "A" and you've got a deal. (grunts)

In honor of your nearly impossible achievement

your mother made me... um, asked me to reward you...

-It better be a minibike. -It's a minibike.

Yeah! Whoo!

You really suck all the joy out of giving, you know that?

(chuckles) Whoo hoo!

I remember the first minibike I got for not failing something.

"Bash's big day. Bash's big day."

B.B.D. Cunningham, you epic shoob!

(gasping)

Ninja Tengu fireball!

My minibike! You killed it! Why did you do that?

-Why did you do that? -Why did you do that?

Because I'm awesome.

Did you see that? I crushed Operation B.B.D.

Operation B.B.D.: Bash's Big Day.

You just crushed your new BFF.

(bawling)

But B.B.D. and mohawk and... Oh, boy.

(bawling)

-(squeaking) -(Sorcerer) I'm coming! I'm coming!

-This better be good. -(bawling continues)

Ooh, that is good.

(cackling)

(roaring)

Minibike!

Ninja!

(nervous laugh) Funny story. See, I thought that...

How do I stop him?

(Randy) "The mask worn too long becomes the face."

I wore the mask of a mean bro so long I became a mean bro.

So, to unstank Bash, I need to be a nice bro!

(groaning)

Ninja jump! Ninja jump! Ninja turn around kick!

Let's hope this works on minibikes. Ninja art of heal!

Bash, wait! Ninja friend, Ninja heal minibike.

Hmm. Friend? Minibike? Minibike!

-(crash) -My car!

Ninja!

(bawling)

(squeaks)

(groans)

(Randy) Hey, buddy, brought you something.

Hey, buddy, not interested.

Oh, okay, not even in a bathroom burrito.

(gasps and sighs)

(chuckles) It's as magical as I imagined!

I was trying to protect the school but all I ended up doing was hurting you.

-I'm sorry, bro-migo. -(loud belch)

You were the worst!

But that burrito was the cheese.

How did you get that ridiculous mohawk out of your locker, anyway?

-I didn't. -(laughs hysterically)

Oh, man, we could not be more even right now.

Yeah! (chuckles)

Oh, no! (crash)

I crashed! (chuckles) But I'm okay!

(both laugh)

(theme music playing)