Original subtitles

-♪ Go, Ninja ♪ - (Randy) I was chosen

to protect my school from the forces of evil.

I am the Ninja.

I am Randy Cunningham.

♪ Smoke bomb! ♪

(rock music plays)

(amp volume rising)

Two! Three! Four!

Perfect! Just a couple quick thoughts.

Uh! We've been rehearsing all morning

and I haven't gotten past "2-3-4!"

Well, when you get it right, we'll move on.

Howard, 30 Seconds to Math

is playing the biggest gig of our career tonight!

When are you gonna practice?

(laughing)

Are we not doing that thing where you say something stupid and we laugh?

No, we're not doing that thing.

We're doing this thing!

The one where 30STM takes the first step

toward rock legen... dary... dom.

That is not a word.

(Heidi) Twog-flash, Weiner-migos!

Rock legen-dary-dom has returned to Norrisville!

Hey, what do you know? It is a word.

Former freshman weirdo turned Whine-Core superstar,

LeVander Hart, is back!

(crowd cheering)

No pictures! No pictures!

Okay, now pictures.

LeVander Hart? That shoob wouldn't even be famous if it wasn't for us!

Seriously! He's lucky we kicked him out of our band.

You know what, he owes us.

And he's paying it back, free-style:

LeVander, in concert, 2-Nite!

2-Nite? We're playing 2-Nite!

Why can't he play 2-Morrow?

Or 2-Wednesday? He's wonkin' our gig!

I wish he was here right now

so we could kick him out of the band!

Again!

(crowd cheering)

LeVander?

LeVander!

Great to see you!

Love the new album! It dropped hot and only got hotter!

So... what'cha doin' here?

(British accent) Can't a bloke come to see his old mates?

Why are you speaking British-ese?

It's a fing what happens when you get famous.

Anyhow, I wanted to say there's no 'ard feelings

for tossin' me outta yer band.

(girls moan)

In fact, I was finkin' we could have a reunion of sorts.

Tonight, on stage,

at the Norrisville High Ampi-feater.

That is the worst thing--

we could not do in this moment! We're in!

This feels just like old times! Am I right?

Den I'll see you chaps backstage at zero rock firty.

(drops accent) That's 4:30. Don't be late. Seriously, they hate that.

(cheering)

(with accent) Single tear, no fear.

-(tires screeching) -(girls screaming)

This is amazing!

Nothing can ruin this moment!

-(Howard gasps) -(Nomicon buzzes)

Oh! Why?

-Why did I just say that? -Oh no, it's fine.

There is no way accepting an invitation

to perform in front of the entire town with a guy

we kicked out of our band could come back on us.

(Randy screams, thumps)

-Uh, ow. -Shh!

Sorry, I didn't know. Sorry.

Ooh. Movie...

LeVander has the best rock gear!

Letting him in the band was the smartest thing we did!

-(Randy) Huh? -(door opens)

Bing! Ow!

(playing offkey)

Holy cheese, he's terrible!

We have to kick him out!

Right there with ya! Just one problem!

If we kick him out, he'll take all of his primo equipment!

I mean, I love this gear!

It's the only reason we let him in the band in the first place!

Why aren't you covering your ears?

He stopped playing ten seconds ago!

Okay, so he heard what I said?

(whimpering) You used me? I hate you!

(crying)

That could've gone way better.

Okay, that looks bad.

But it all worked out.

LeVander's a honkin' huge star now. We helped him.

-(loud gong rings) -Ooh!

(Randy) "The wrong not righted pays back ten-fold."

You are absolutely right, Nomicon.

It is wrong... if we don't let LeVander

pay us back ten-fold by inviting us on stage!

Ah!

Howard, it's time to get our rock faces on!

(synthesized drum playing over speakers)

(grunts)

(grunting)

(Randy grunts)

(Randy and Howard) Rock 'n' roll!

(gasping)

(winded) Not... rock... 'n' roll.

Heya, Randy.

(winded) So... not... rock 'n' roll.

See ya, Howard.

(audience screaming)

Fanks! I love you all!

Just gonna have a quick kip in me dressing room before the big show!

'Ello, me lovely. Miss me?

Tonight's the night we've been waitin' for, innit?

Yee-eah!

Finally, the dark seed

I planted months ago bears its fruit!

(whimpers) They'll see!

One day I'll be the biggest rock star ever and I'll show them all!

-(grunting) -(playing guitar terribly)

Yeah!

My power gave him what he wanted.

Now he will give me what I need: chaos!

-(maniacal laughter) -(rat squeaking)

Me-Mail Sup-date!

It's your girl Hiddle Diddle with the Rumor Report:

LeVander will be joined on stage by two very special guests!

Deet leak! The V.S.G.s are rollin' up to the red carpet

as we speak!

(Randy panting)

-This is awful. -Shoulda taken the bus.

Definitely shoulda taken the bus.

Uh, Cunningham?

(fans cheering)

-Uhh... -(Randy chuckles)

No. Honkin'. Way.

(fake British accent) Sorry, love. No time for chit-chat. Got a gig to play.

-(fake British accent) Bruce accent. -Yours needs work.

What are you two wonkin' around out 'ere for? Let's rock!

(LeVander) Ladies and ge'l'men!

It gives me great pleasure to bring to the stage

two of me old bandmates, Randy and Howard!

(audience cheering)

This is so much Brucer than playing at Greg's Rock Hole!

It's all happening, Cunningham!

Two! Three! Four!

'Old on, 'old on!

Why can I never get past 2-3-4?

-You're doing it wrong. -(Randy groans)

Little change of plans, boy-o's.

(kisses)

What do ya say, I kick these two shoobs outta me band?

(audience laughing)

Ah... huh?

(chuckles) What shoobs?

You shoobs! Randy and Howard!

They're real shoobs, ain't they?

(crowd laughs in approval)

Uhh...

That's right, I'm kicking you out.

How's that feel, bad? Bet it feels bad.

So...you became a world-famous rock star

just so you ask us to join your band,

just so you could kick us out of your band?

Exactly! Revenge!

Shoobs!

(with accent) If you'll excuse me,

I 'ave a rock 'n' roll show to play.

(audience laughing)

(Howard) My fame!

I left my fame out there!

(both grunt)

You gotta give it to the kid.

That was some plan. In our face.

Three months ago, LeVander was a terrible guitar player.

Now he rocks? What happened?

And why am I just asking this now?

(playing rock solo perfectly)

Blue stank?

W.T.J.?

(cheering)

(crowd gasps and quiets)

(screaming)

(roars)

Mmm, I love this song.

It's the kind of chaos you can really get down to.

(maniacal laughter)

(Ninja) Smokebomb!

Huh?

Sorry, LeVander, but this ain't my jam.

Ninja rings!

Huh?

The rock is strong with this one.

Whoo! Yeah! Yes!

-(growls) -H'oh, boy!

-(Howard) Ah, yeah! -(Randy and Howard grunt)

(growling)

Huh? Ah!

Sometimes you gotta fight rock with rock!

-Is that gonna work? -Maybe.

Ha! Make that tango fireball!

(Ninja strikes chord)

(LeVander grunts, strikes power chord)

Yes!

(Ninja playing arpeggio)

(LeVander playing arpeggio)

(both increasing tempo)

(both grunting)

(music stops)

I can't beat him. He's too fast.

He rocks too hard.

(gasps)

"The wrong not righted pays back ten-fold."

I have to right this wrong...

(LeVander roars, strikes chord)

-(Ninja) Ah! -Ninja! No-oo!

Ninja, yes!

(crying)

Oh, hey. I thought you were dead.

We started this, Howard.

We have to stop it.

-LeVander! -Huh?

-Play with us. -(grunts)

For realzies.

Let's jam.

(synthesized kick drum plays two notes)

Hmm, ohh...

Two! Three! Four! That's how you do it, by the way.

That's exactly how I do it!

(Randy and Howard play "Detention Deficit Disorder")

(grunting)

(strikes chord)

(gasps)

Hmm? Uhh...

Mm-hmm...

C'mon, LeVander, rock with us!

(grunts)

(high-pitched squealing)

(sighs) I prefer the old stuff.

(LeVander playing guitar terribly)

-Oh, this is worse than the monster! -I'm on it.

(Howard grunting)

-And... there you go. -(no accent) What happened?

The last thing I remember is you kicking me out of your band.

That about sums it up.

Let's get outta here. This sweet fro's givin' me a neck ache.

Not yet, Howard.

There's one more thing we gotta do...

I can't believe we're doing this.

We're paying him back ten-fold.

Who's gonna pay us back?

Put your hands together for 30 Seconds to Math,

with special guest, the formerly-British LeVander Hart,

right skee-now!

Two! Three! Four!

(amp sparks and pops, power goes out)

(Randy) What the juice?

(Howard) I know!

(Randy) The one time you get it right.

(Randy and Howard laughing)

(male announcer over P.A.) Whoopee World!

Are you ready for Whoopee and the Jam Banditos?

(Whoopee) Well, ye-ah!

(crowd roaring)

(Whoopee playing "Whoopee World theme")

(laughing)

(Randy and Howard) Whoop-whoop-whoop-whoopee!

You touch my soul, Whoopee!

(laughing)

Whoopee's amazing!

Every time I see him is like the first time!

It's exactly the same as the first time!

I honkin' love these honkers so much!

Oh, if we could get backstage and cool out with Whoopee,

I think he would really like us.

He would love us!

No one is allowed backstage!

You are a threat to Whoopee!

No, I didn't threaten Whoopee!

I said, "Hug him to death!"

Okay, I coulda phrased that better.

Please put me down.

Whoopee, it's me, Irving!

(Irving grunting)

I just wanna suffocate him with kisses!

Whoopee's got some crazed fans, right?

Check it out! We can get backstage!

You heard the guard. No one's allowed backstage.

But-but, um, uh,

what if we had a reason to go backstage?

Like... what if...

What if Whoopee was in danger?

Well, yeah, then I'd have to go backstage, but he's not in danger.

(chuckles) Sweet, sweet naive Cunningham.

-Huh? -He's completely unguarded.

And you said it yourself: he's got crazed fans everywhere!

If something happened to Whoopee,

I couldn't live with yourself!

I mean, I guess it wouldn't hurt

to go back and make sure he's okay...

I'm so sitting in his pouch!

After we make sure he's okay.

Hey, Whoopee, sorry to bother you.

Just poppin' in to see if you're okay.

-So... you okay? -Well, ye-ah!

There, see? He's fine.

Let's get out before the guard gets back.

Of course he's gonna tell you that.

He's just putting on a brave face.

-Whoopee, are you in danger? -Well, ye-ah!

-Seriously? -Well, ye-ah!

Is it because of all the crazed fans?

-Well, ye-ah! -Really?

I was just makin' that up to get back here.

And it's a good thing you did! Howard, do not leave Whoopee's side.

I gotta shloomp on this.

"Danger lies in protecting that which needs no protection."

Which is why I'm gonna protect something

that does need protection.

We did it again, Nomicon! We did it again!

Huh?

So you're telling me that I,

Howard Weinerman, am your favorite fan?

-Well, ye-ah! -I knew it!

Hey, don't tell Cunningham.

It'll crush him.

Nomicon says we gotta protect Whoopee!

But how? Whoopee World is filled with crazies...

So... get him out of Whoopee World.

Howard, there's no way-- we shouldn't not do that!

Whoopee, would you feel safer if we got you outta here?

-Well, ye-ah! -We gotta get him somewhere safe.

My house!

We still got kiddie clasps on the danger drawers!

Then that is where we will go.

-C'mon, Whoopee! -Ha!

Okay, all right. Maybe pick up the pace?

Uh... uh...

No? That's as fast as you can go?

All right then.

(both grunting)

I have neutralized the threat, Mr. Whoopee.

Mr. Whoopee?

Uh-oh.

(alarm blaring)

(crying) No-oo!

Yep. Gone.

Somebody stole him.

(blubbering) Who could do such a thing? Whoopee's so good and kind.

-He'd never hurt a fly! -Well, there's the problem right there.

We got a robot that can't defend itself against flies.

Ta-da!

No? Nothing? Too soon?

Okay, listen, I'm gonna need you

to build a new Whoopee in time for the next show.

I'm not refunding a single cent!

(whimpering)

-(Viceroy) Hmm? -So... feelings...

-(Viceroy) Hmm. -Eeh.

No one will ever steal you, new Whoopee.

I promise.

Cunningham, do you realize what we've done?

We're heroes!

Uh, no, not heroes, Howard.

We're just a couple of guys who saw something

that needed to be did, and we done it.

I am so impressed with us.

D'oh! I'm crampin' in here!

Got a pouch cramp! Get-me-out! Get-me-out! Get-me-out!

(grunting)

It's a tight pouch.

Uh, Whoopee, is there like a trick to this?

-Well, ye-ah! -Could you tell me what it is?

-Well, ye-ah. -Could you tell me now?

-Well, ye-ah! -(both grunt)

Everything below my neck is asleep.

-(grunts) -Whoopee, could you excuse us?

-Well, ye-ah. -I'm so sorry. Just one second.

Have you noticed that Whoopee only says one thing?

-Well, yeah. -Exactly!

You think that's the only thing he can say?

-I dunno. Let's ask him. -(Randy screams)

-Hey, Whoopee! -Whoopee?

Whoopee?

(sighs)

"Kill him with hugs?"

Oh! Talk like that has no place at Whoopee World.

Huh? Whoopee?

(tires screeching)

-Whoopee, is that you? -Well, ye-ah!

You need a ride back to Whoopee World?

-Well, ye-ah! -Well, "hop" in!

Oh, I've been waiting to use that joke for 16 years!

Huh?

(tires screeching)

So you're telling me that I,

Irving Slimovitz, am your favorite fan?

-Well, ye-ah. -I knew it!

Whoopee, would it be inappropriate if I asked for a hug?

Well, ye-ah!

Darn it, Irving!

-You had him and you lost him! -(Whoopee) Thought you were gone.

Who the whoop are you?

The new and improved Whoopee.

Whoopee 2?

-Did you know about him? -Well, ye-ah!

No, you didn't! Liar!

They built me when this loser went walk-about!

But this park ain't big enough for two Whoopees.

Which is why I'm going to make sure

there's only one Whoopee: Whoopee 2.

-That sound good? -Well, ye-ah!

Whoopee, no!

Also: Whoopee 2, no!

Yeah...

Oh, we lost Whoopee.

So, what do ya wanna ride first?

That's not why we're here!

We have to tell the Robo-Guard what we did.

Maybe he can help us find Whoopee.

(chuckles) Yeah, I'm not doing that.

(panting)

(groans)

(panting) (groans)

(sighs)

Buck up, Viceroy, we didn't have to refund a single ticket for the evening show.

I call that a win.

You would. 'Cause you don't really care about Whoopee.

Wha-aat? No, you're right. I don't really care about Whoopee.

They all look the same to me.

Well, they aren't.

Original Whoopee was made with laughter, joy and goodness.

What's Whoopee 2 made with?

-Not that. -Oh, should be an interesting show.

(male announcer over P.A.) Whoopee World!

Are you ready for Whoopee and the Jam Banditos?

He came back! Everything's okay!

(gasping) Oh, thank cheese.

(crowd roaring)

You're all a bunch of losers!

You're a loser, and you're a loser, and you're a loser...

Yep. Everything's all right.

Does something seem off about Whoopee to you?

You're a loser, and you're a loser, and you're a loser.

I'm a robot, I could do this all night.

And you're a loser, and you're a loser.

You right there. You're a loser. You're a loser, you're a loser.

-(laughing) -I'm gonna go check it out.

I'm gonna stay right here!

(band playing Whoopee theme)

Quit froggin' the spotlight!

And you're a loser, and you're a loser, and you're a loser.

You're a big loser. You're a loser...

(Ninja) Smokebomb!

Hey, Whoopee. Everything okay?

No! There's a Ninja on my stage!

-(Ninja) Whoopee, is that you? -Well, ye-ah!

(crowd gasps)

Did you see that?

Whoopee 2 just tail-whipped the Ninja!

What have I done?

I turned our beloved Whoopee

into just another weapon of Ninja destruction.

Eh, I don't say this often, Viceroy, but...feelings.

(grunting)

Robo-Guards! Stop that ninja!

(Robo-Guards) Must protect Whoopee.

(Ninja gasps)

That's not the real Whoopee!

I was gonna save this for the end of the show,

but I think it's best if I clear up

this whole Whoopee/Whoopee 2 thing right now.

Whoopee, I'm coming to destroy you.

-Does that sound fun? -Well, ye-ah!

Oh, he loves it. See, he wants me to destroy him.

-(audience gasps) -(Ninja) Huh?

"Danger lies in protecting that which needs no protection."

If I put Whoopee in danger by protecting him,

then to protect him, I need to put him in danger!

Yeah, yeah, that sounds right! Oh...

Any last words, Whoopee?

-Well, ye-ah! -Oh, forget I asked.

(crowd gasps)

Ninja Whoopee Endangering Ring!

(Whoopee 2 screams)

-Whoopee! No! -Whoopee! No!

We-eell, yee-aah!

(Ninja grunts)

Ninja scarf save!

(Ninja) Whoa!

-(Ninja laughs) -(Whoopee 2 screams)

(cheering)

Um...hmm...

(grunting)

Oh. You okay, Whoopee?

Well, ye-ah!

He's okay!

-(audience roars) -Whoopee World!

Are you ready for the real Whoopee and the Jam Banditos?

(crowd) Well, yeah!

-(band playing "Whoopee World theme") -(Ninja) Smokebomb!

Whoopee! Yay!

I hate this show!

-See? -See what?

I told you Whoopee was in danger.

Yeah, from us.

If we hadn't saved him, Whoopee 2 never would've existed,

Viceroy never would've built him because we never

would have put him in danger by trying to save him.

Like I said... see?

Whoopee, could you untie me?

Well, ye-ah!

Could you do it... now?

(Whoopee) Well, ye-ah!

(rock music playing)