Original subtitles

-♪ Go, Ninja ♪ - (Randy) I was chosen

to protect my school from the forces of evil.

I am the Ninja.

I am Randy Cunningham.

♪ Smoke bomb ♪

(rock music plays)

(grunts) So miserable, so hot.

Feels like we're standing on the sun.

But we're not. We're on top of McFist Industries and we're first.

-First in line for the... -(both) McFlume!

Frontsies! First rides!

Queue-mero uno! McFist is the best.

Totally! Wait, what? He's my arch-nemesis! He's always trying to destroy me!

And yet he still makes all this Bruce stuff.

-How does he find the time? -(seagull caws)

-Ha! -(pop music plays)

H-Wizzle here with a wet-sclusive!

N-ville's wildest ride is about to H2-Open on the hottest day of the year!

And here's the mac dizzle who made it hizzle: Hannibal McFist!

Thanks, Heidi, big fan. You know, a lot of people

think Hannibal McFist isn't just a great business man,

he's also a great guy. And the McFlume proves it!

Sh'weet! So it flumigates from the tizlle of McFizzle

to a splash down splizzle in Lake LaRusso!

Yeah. It splizzles... Viceroy, you know about the splizzles.

I have channeled the naturally-occurring aquifer

beneath McFist Industries

to create Norrisville's first water-based amusement structure.

-(soft cough) -It's a water slide!

-Who did it? Me! -(cheering)

Wet the good times flow!

-(glass shatters) -(squeaking)

(crowd gasps)

(stammers) It looks a lot wetter than I'd thought.

Pretty sure that's an airplane.

Don't we have a bunch of stuff we have to do today?

Um, somewhere else?

Hey, you're holding up the line!

-(both) Hm? -Hey, um, not because we're scared,

because we're not, but if you don't ride the flume,

how do you get down from here?

-Hm? -"Shame-scalator?" We can't take that.

It'll wonk our cred. We'll be lumped in with the booger-eaters,

the toepickers and Glen!

-(moaning) -(both shudder)

Check it out! They's a gonna take the chicken exit.

'Cause they're chickens!

Moo! Oink, oink, oink, oink!

-Moo! -I'm scared of the ride,

but I'm terrified of getting made fun of! Do something!

-Like what?! Hm. -Moo, moo! Moo! Bark, bark! Oink!

Howard, this flume is about to be out-of-order.

Hey! Where's he goin'?

Don't worry, everybody. He'll be right back.

-He just has to poop. -Poopin's serious. Can't make fun of that.

Whoa! Uh!

Ninja Tiny Exploding Ball!

Ha! (grunts)

Probably should call that "Ninja Tiny Giant Exploding Ball."

Feels good to give back for once. No plan. No scheme.

Sir, this is a plan and a scheme.

(crickets chirp)

-To refill Lake LaRusso? -(crickets chirp)

-The water levels are getting low? -(crickets chirp)

It was in the memo about drought season.

It's too hot to read, Viceroy. Show my eyes with your voice.

-(groans) Flashback. -Ooh!

(Viceroy) You wanted the angriest, most irritated monster ever.

And what's more irritating than dry skin?

So I created the SharkDerma-Nator:

the crack-liest, flakiest, ashiest monster ever.

I think it wants some moisturizer.

(McFist) Mm. What happens if it's moist?

(Viceroy) He'll calm down and sleep forever.

(McFist) Don't give it to him!

(Viceroy moaning, giggling)

(McFist laughing)

(Viceroy) Ooh! (laughs)

(Viceroy) But what we didn't know was that a beast that dry can't be controlled.

(beast growling)

(Viceroy) So we submerged him in Lake LaRusso,

to sleep away the rest of his days.

Ah, the good old days, am I right?

Weren't you listening?! If we don't keep the lake filled to here,

the SharkDerma-Nator will be un-moist.

When he's un-moist, he's unhappy. At us.

For making him un-moist. Which makes him unhappy.

At us. (groans) It's a vicious cycle.

Oh, it's a good thing we've got a steady supply of H2... oh...

-(crackling) -(growling)

Whoa! What do you mean da wet-slide's closed?!

It has a leak. Please, proceed to the Shame-scalator.

(all groan, mutter)

Aw, Shame-scalator! We were going to totally shred that thing.

But hey, if we're all taking the Shame-scalator,

there's no shame, right?

Just plain ol' shameless moving stairs.

(seagull caws)

-You did good, Cunningham. -I did, didn't I?

First you saved our lives, then you saved our rep.

(laughs) And all you had to do was ruin everyone's fun.

-I didn't ruin everyone's fun. -(laughs) You so did.

(whirring)

Speaking of things that ruin everyone's fun.

Oh!

(grunts)

"The easy road often makes for a hard journey."

You get it!

If I took the Shame-scalator,

the next four years of high school would've been miserable.

Thanks, Nomicuz! Ahhh!

-Oof! (groans) -(loud screeching)

-Ah! -Cunningham!

You scared Steven away.

Now what're we gonna do for fun?!

-(monster screeching) -(loud stomping)

(Randy) Ah! It's Ninja time! Hah!

Great, now what am I going to do for fun?

-(seagull screeches) -(gasps) Whoa!

Stay right there! I'll come to you! I've got white bread!

(roaring)

-(scratching) -(purring)

Man, that thing hates McFist-o-plexes, McSatcheles.

Really anything with a "Mc" in it, I think.

-No, sir. It hates us. -Oh, come on!

He doesn't remember us.

Oh, he remembers us.

The way I see it, we have two choices:

-Stay and fight, or... -(McFist screaming)

...hovercraft.

(roaring)

-(scratching) -(moaning)

-(woman screams) -(Randy) Smokebomb!

You are all kinds of... Ugh!

-OK, let's do this. -(roars loudly)

Hey! Where are you going?

I'm the Ninja! We're supposed to fight!

(sighs) There's nothing like a clean getaway, am I right?

(roaring)

Tell you what's not making a clean getaway: my underpants!

(screaming)

Ninja Scarf Save! Ha!

Fear not, innocent Norrisvillians, I... Oh! My mortal enemies.

-Hey. -Uh... uh...

Hey! Oh! Eee! Hm...

-A "thank you" would be nice. -(roaring)

-(Randy screams) -That was close.

Yeah, almost had to say thank you to the Ninja.

No coming back from that.

(screaming)

That's weird. It's like he's only after McFist and Viceroy.

He's after McFist and Viceroy! I could be done with them forever!

-Little help here! -No McFist, no Viceroy...

-(Viceroy) Ninja! -I mean, can I actually do this?

Aren't you supposed to help people?!

Ugh! Yes, I'm supposed to help people.

Ninja doesn't want to hear from the Nomicon later!

-(grunts) -(screaming)

(straining)

-(roaring) -(straining)

(Randy continues straining)

-(groaning) -(roaring)

Ah!

-Oh! -Hm?

-Really? You can't say "thank you"? -Attaboy! Now you're getting it.

-Uh-oh! Oh! -(roaring)

Ho! Oh!

Yes! Yes! Destroy the Ninja!

Sir, the only thing protecting us from the SharkDerma-Nator is the Ninja!

(moans) Go, Ninja.

-(roaring) -(Randy screaming)

Oof! He's... so grumpy.

-What got under his skin? -Not moisture. Right? Am I right?

-(Randy laughs) Wait, what? -His skin's too dry.

That's why we submerged him in Lake LaRusso.

But now there's no Lake LaRusso in Lake LaRusso!

Some flume-breaker broke my flume!

Why would anyone break a fl... Oh!

Destroying the flume wasn't the hard journey.

It was the easy road. Which means I have to take the hard road

-to make the journey easy! -Where are you going?!

-(Randy) To take the hard road! -Hard road? Is this tracking for you?

Ninja Shark Tripping Balls!

(roaring)

Ninja Lifeguard Stand Slash!

-(lifeguard) Ahh! -Yah!

I never should've covered Jim's shift.

Huh! Ah!

-(screaming) -(roaring)

(Randy) Ninja Enemy Snatch!

-Huh? -(scratching)

Get over here, you disgusting fish!

-(screaming) -(babbling)

-Hi-yah! -(screaming)

(straining)

(roars loudly)

Ninja Bait 'N' Switch!

(panting) Yah!

Whoa! I did not think this through!

Ahh!

Oh, my cheese! Oh, my cheese! Oh, my cheese! This is so much fun!

Everybody get your flume face on! Here comes the Splash Flash!

-Ah! (laughs) -(camera shutter clicks)

Hey, Steven. (panting)

Here's that white bread I was telling you about.

-(screeches) -Please! I have issues being alone!

-(gasps) -Ninja Random Student Save!

Huh? Ah!

(screaming) Oof! Yeah!

(all screaming)

So Bruce! Even my socks are soaked!

-You'll pay for this, Ninja! -I... Wait, I'll pay for saving your life?

You gotta give it to him, baby. He's consistent.

(Randy sighs) Smokebomb.

(Howard sighs) Banner day for you, Cunningham.

You released a giant monster, destroyed half of Norrisville

and permanently canceled the McFlume.

Yeah, but we didn't have to take the Shame-scalator.

Well, we had to take it, but everyone had to. No shame in that.

-Just a regular old "scalator." -Hey, look who's back!

-Steven Seagull. -"Steven Seagull"? I don't get it.

-(screeches) -(laughs) Oh, Steven.

(groans) It's like a million degrees out.

Maybe a billion. Let's just get this over with.

-(Randy grunts) -(roaring)

(panting)

Thar she blows. Our first Ninja sighting of the day.

(tourists gasping)

Ninja Tours.

People pay me to watch robots I made fight the Ninja!

(cackles) Gettin' paid to do something I love.

Like you working for me. Hey, Viceroy?

(slurping)

(grunts)

Ahh! Really hating the scarf right now.

You must be miserable.

(roars)

(wheezing)

-Huh? -(cheering)

My Polar Bear-Bot is a masterpiece of macro-technology.

And these hayseeds cheer for the Ninja?

Your masterpiece is looking kinda pooped.

(panting)

Come on, get up. This is embarrassing.

(growling weakly)

(loud growl)

(explosion)

Oh! Thank smokebomb that's over.

(tourists cheering)

We will now have

a five-minute photo stop with the vanquished foe.

A polar bear, during a heat wave!

A polar bear during a heat wave!

I swear to cheese, Viceroy,

you are the worst robot builder ever!

(grumbles) Anyone could build a better robot than you.

Anyone! Like anyone!

Any... one! Any rando at all.

Hey, rando, wanna build a robot?

Well, I'd never say no to you, I can tell ya that much!

Ooh! A Never Say No Man! I love it! You're hired!

-He's what?! -What's your name, New Robot Guy?

My name is Mort. Mort Weinerman!

(laughs, stammers) If that's OK with you.

(grunting)

Look out, Weinerman! Cannonball!

(grunts)

Oh! You said your dad put in a pool.

-(slurping) -I said my dad's gonna put in a pool.

No, wait, it says he put in a pool.

Ha! Honkin' autocorrect.

-(beeping) -Ah!

-Huh? -Hey, there.

I'm here to deliver... a hole in the ground.

Yep, that's us. I'll sign for it.

Your dad's been promising a pool for years! Why's he doing it now?

Um... uh...

Look, don't freak out, but he got a promotion.

-He's... -(engine revving)

He's building robots for McFist!

Did you say, "It doesn't get better than this"?

-I said nothing like that! -I'd love a sun hat!

-(Mort mumbling) -See that, Viceroy?

That's what a Never Say No Man looks like.

Why didn't I just say no? I could have just said no.

(clears throat)

-You want me to build this? -Yes.

What's the matter? Can't do it? (imitates crying)

-I can. It's just stupid. -Never stopped you before.

I've built better things for breakfast.

(grunting)

Soon we'll be soaking in actual water.

(blows bubble) What are we soaking in now?

-My sweat. -(retching)

(explosion)

In Norrisville, where there's smoke, there's Ninja!

Oh! No fight. It's too hot for fight.

Don't take too long, Cunningham. Pool's gonna be done in...

Hey Gene, when's the pool gonna be done? Like ten minutes?

Could be. I never built one of these things before.

(loud thumping)

-(camera shutters clicking) -Ooh!

You're looking pretty smug for a guy who's about to be out of a job.

-Am I? -Yes, you are!

Here it comes, here it comes!

(gasping)

Ooh!

(laughs)

Wait a minute, time out. What the juice is that?

That is the genius creation of your new... ahem... robot guy.

Geh... I love it!

-(explosion) -(weakly) Smokebomb.

Even hotter than before.

-What the juice is that?! -(metal creaking)

-(groaning) -(phone beeps)

-I need a waterslide. -You got it, Howie!

As long as Mr. McFist stays happy with my robot,

you're never gonna have to dry slide again!

Hey, Gene! We're going with the waterslide package!

-(phone beeps) -Dad, gotta jump.

Howard, you should see McFist's robot! It's ridiculous!

I'll destroy this thing in no time!

Wait! You can't destroy that robot!

Uh, I can't not destroy it.

If I leave it alone, it'll probably destroy itself.

If you beat that bot, my dad'll get fired.

Which means he won't have the money to finish the pool!

What's that about not enough money?

Mind your own business, Gene!

Wait a second, that's your dad's promotion?

-Building robots for McFist? -Yes! I told you that!

-Uh, pretty sure you didn't. -Did, didn't. What's the difference?

You can't destroy that robot. Just pretend to let it beat you.

-You want me to take a dive? -Yes! Just until the pool's done.

-(whirring) - (Howard) Forget the book, listen to me!

-Cool water. Unlimited cannonballs. -Oh...

Wearing swim suits all day! It'll be an underpants-free summer!

(Randy groans)

Fine, I'll do it. For the pool.

Yes! Dive, dive, dive!

I'd hold off on any diving till we get some water in this thing.

Get out of my business, Gene!

OK. Takin' a dive.

Just gotta make it look like this piece of junk actually beat me.

-(loud crash) -Oh... Hah!

Yikes! This thing is unbeatable!

Hey! Hah!

Ah! (grunting)

(groans) Hah!

Huh? Ah!

(tourists cheering)

(grunting)

This is the toughest robot I have ever fought!

Ha! Hear that, Viceroy? In your face!

-We'll see. -Yeah, you'll see...

-...when it's in your face! -Ah!

Oh! Don't think I can win this one!

Might be curtains for your pal the Ninja! Whoa, baby!

-(gasping) -Ah!

Yah! Huh?

Ninja Taking a Dive! Smokebomb!

(electric fizzling)

-(gasping) -Uh...

-Wha...? -Eee!

-Hey, Sorcerino! I did it! -Did what?

It! That thing you're always squawkin' at me about?

I did it! It's done! By me!

-(slurps) -Fear. Despair.

A sudden spike in the price of Ninja memorabilia?

You did do it! Oh, yes! (cackles)

-(beeps) -A "thanks" would have been nice.

I just can't believe it.

(man) The Ninja's gone! We're doomed!

Doomed? We should probably get out of here.

(Randy groans) Nomicon, relax.

It's just until the pool's done. It's gonna be fine.

(roaring)

-(roaring) -(screaming)

Smokebomb! All right, random monster!

Prepare to get de... stanked? Huh?

Nomicon, what the cheese is going on?

Hey, Ninja, would you sign my...

-(Randy) Smokebomb! -Aw! Now I have to wash this belly again.

(grunts)

-(screaming) -(roaring)

Why did that tourist de-stank like that?

Why are there monsters rampaging?

Why is it so hot? What is going on?

Seriously? A second ago you couldn't wait to shloomp me in there!

Why don't you make up your mind! I swear, sometimes I just wanna...

Whoa! Ow, ow, ow! Oh!

(groans) Ow...

-(roaring) -(metal slices)

-Huh? -(roaring)

(gulps)

(cheering)

"Hope is the light that vanquishes all shadows."

(gasps) Everyone lost hope when they thought I was defeated!

I gotta show 'em that I'm OK. Smoke...

But if McFist finds out I'm OK, we'll lose the pool!

I have to let every person in town know I'm OK except McFist. I can do this!

Smokebomb!

-(roaring) -(coins jingle)

(shrieks, laughs)

(screaming)

(roaring)

-(growling) -(Randy whistles)

(straining) Yah!

-High five, Viceroy! -(grunts)

Hm... Um...

-(screaming) -(roars)

Ah! Uh!

-Oof! -(screaming)

Uh...

-(cheering) -Oh!

Uh!

(McFist grumbles)

I can't keep doing this. It's too hot. Too many.

I gotta show 'em all at once! (groans) I really wanted a pool!

Ahhh!

-(tires screeching) -(coughing)

-I need a lift! -Sure thing, Ninja!

-Say, could you sign my... -No time, random fan!

-(roaring) -Mm-hm.

-Ha! Yah! -Ooh. Real scorcher out here.

-I didn't notice. -Can I catch a breeze off one of those?

-Uh, Hannibal? -(Randy) Attention, Norrisville.

This is the Ninja! I am OK!

Do not lose hope. I am totally still here.

In other news, let's remember to reapply the sunscreen.

It's a hot one out there, right?

(cheering)

No!

(groans)

-(grumbles) -Mm-hm.

-I can feel you smirking. -Oh, I'm way past smirking.

This is a full-on gloat! (chuckles)

(groaning)

Cunningham! The pool's done!

This is the greatest day of my life!

-(moans) -Ah! Huh?

I'm sorry, Howie, I lost the promotion. We gotta return the pool.

You did this, didn't you?

Oh, if you mean battle monsters on the hottest day of the year

to save the town, then yeah. No, yeah, that was me.

-I mean ruin my pool! -Oh, yeah, I did that, too.

-(engine revving) -(Howard) Yah!

Aw, Howie, you're not disappointed

-in your old man, are ya? -No.

I'm disappointed in Cunningham.

Well, better him than me!

What do ya say we fill up the old Sweat Hole?

Let's do it!

(laughing) Yah! That's sweat, all right!

(gagging) Well, I'm going home.