Original subtitles

♪ Go, Ninja! ♪

(Randy) I was chosen to protect my school

from the forces of evil.

I am the Ninja.

I am Randy Cunningham.

♪ Smoke bomb! ♪

(bell rings)

(humming)

Hmm.

-(moans) -(chuckles)

Only 42 more minutes, and it is officially winter break.

I say "Winter," you say "Break."

Winter... Winter!

I say "Winter," you say...

-Break! You say "Break." -(gasps)

I gave you the easy part. What the juice?

Oh, sorry, Cunningham. I was, um, thinking about a thing.

It's the holidays! 'Tis the season for not thinking.

(deep voice) Winter break!

♪ This song is for My friend, Flute Girl ♪

♪ Late is my Christmas gift to her ♪

♪ It's a song that I wrote It's a song that I wrote ♪

♪ This is a song It is a song ♪

♪ Song, song, song, song ♪

Hey, you said you wanted the gift of tunes for Christmas.

Ugh! I said I wanted a McFist tunes gift card.

Pull your dinger out of your ear.

(all laugh)

(sobbing)

So what are we doing tonight?

Movie marathon, game marathon?

Oh, I know! Movies based on games marathon?

Look, about tonight...

-I'm out. -What?

-(roars) -(screaming)

We are not done talking about this. Winter break.

-Hmm... -(deep voice) Winter break!

(groans)

-(screams) -(roars)

-(humming) -(cheering)

Okay, Bucky. Time for a little ditty I call "Hark the Herald Ninja Rings".

(growls)

Yah! (yells)

-Ninja wreath wrath! -(gasps)

(muttering)

What happened? Did you like my song?

-Bucky! -Just say "yes."

Uh, yes?

-(sighs happily) -(cheering)

Have a merry winter break, and a happy new smoke bomb!

Uh... Smoke bomb!

-(indistinct chatter) -Well...

Guess I'm gonna take off, so... (grunting)

-(plays sad note) -(laughter)

No offense, but that was the most shoob-tacular Ninja exit ever.

I think I'm out of smoke bombs. How could I be out of smoke bombs?

-(up-tempo music plays) -(laughter)

-(grunts) -(screaming)

-(Howard laughs) -(rock music plays)

Wow. You know, I waste a lot of smoke bombs.

So go to the NinjaNomistore and order more.

-Can I even do that? -Why are you asking me?

(gasps)

(grunts, yells)

"The Ninja smoke bomb is a tool of strategy,

not a toy for show."

Come on! Smoke bombs not for show? Have you seen how Bruce I look?

I'm all, "Smoke bomb." Then I'm like, "Kaboosh!"

(gasps, screams) Ow.

(panting) Okay, smoke bombs are for strategy.

Just tell me how to restock.

Whoa.

Ha!

(Randy) "Only from the sacred sap of the skunk pine

can a Ninja craft bombs of smoke."

A-ha, a quest!

There is no better way to kick off winter break.

(deep voice) Winter break!

-(grunts) -(shouts)

Little change of plans for tonight.

Before we get our movie marathon on,

we've got to take a trip to the forest.

-There's this tree. -But...

I know, you hate nature,

but the sap is the only way to make smoke bombs.

-(grumbles) -Don't worry.

We have 12 more days of winter break.

-(deep voice) Winter break! -I said I can't hang out tonight.

I have a previous engagement?

(laughs) "Previous engagement." That's hilarious!

Wait, are you serious? What... What you up to?

Nothing! It's just, uh, a family thing?

Oh, okay, yeah.

Uh, I guess I'll, um, I'll see you tomorrow.

Uh, yes! Tomorrow.

-(sighs heavily) -(moans)

-Call me! -Mmm...

(grunts)

Hiyah!

Hiyah, hiyah! (grunts)

-Hiyah, hiyah! (groans) -(flatulence)

I think Mother Nature just ripped one.

(birds squawking)

(squawking)

Hello, skunk pie.

Oh, it's awful! But sacred, sacredly awful.

Ninja sap tap! Huh?

What the juice?

McFist, you just snaked my smoke bomb tree!

(shouting)

(grunts)

("Deck the Halls" playing)

Eh! Doesn't smell very festive.

Oh, Hannibal, you got me the biggest tree in the forest!

Just like you asked, sugarplums.

Merry McChristmas faceless drones of my McEmpire.

Enjoy the free eats!

(choir) Aah!

McFist killed a 800-year-old

sacred Ninja tree for his holiday party?

I did not see that coming.

(grunts)

No way McFist is dumb enough to leave these things...

...unlocked!

Oh, McFist, you need to Ninja-proof your house.

Hmm?

(machines clicking)

("Deck the Halls" continues)

-Mm-hmm. -(indistinct chattering)

Oh, this is such a super party, Hannibal.

I've been mingling so much my smile muscles are starting to cramp.

-(Hannibal) Mmm! -Although I still think

-we should've gotten a DJ. -(growls)

Do you know how hard it was to book Doc Matrix and the Inkjet quartet?

-(music continues) -Hmm?

-Shrimp-ba-ba-ru-ba! -Howard?

What the juice are you doing here?

Oh, Cunningham!

Hey! Great to see you at this party which I am also attending.

You said you had a family thing.

It is a family thing!

(sighs) My dad's company was bought out by McFist's company.

We're a McFist family now. Yay...

(gasps) What? Your dad works for my arch-nemesis?

Why didn't you tell me?

Because I knew you'd be all "(gasps) What?"

It's really not such a big deal.

Being lied to by your best friend?

-That's the biggest deal. -(grunts)

-Hmm? -So the Ninja is back.

The Ninja? Hm.

-Attention, everyone! -(gasps)

Our security system has detected an intruder.

-(all exclaim) -I bet it's that guy.

No, you shoob, he means me!

Please display your McFist bands for the robo-elves,

so we can find the uninvited guest and eliminate him!

-(whispering indistinctly) -Eh, nicely. (groans)

Show me your McFist band or be destroyed.

Merry Christmas!

-(gasps) -I'll give you mine.

That'll totally make up for me lying to you.

-It totally won't. -(grunts)

-I gotta get to that tree. -It's getting looser.

No, tighter! It's getting tighter. (yells)

Fist band. Show me your McFist band.

Merry Christmas.

...your McFist band.

Show me your McFist band.

Ah... (grunting)

Huh?

-Show me your McFist band. -Ah, I'm totally shoobed.

"The Ninja smoke bomb is a tool of strategy,

not a toy for show." Show? Strategy?

What if, sometimes, the show is the strategy?

(bells ring)

Merry Christmas, everybody!

-All right! -(chattering)

Whoa. He just came out of that chimney!

The Ninja is Santa Claus? You're a fake!

-My, what a glorious tree. -Yeah. She's a real beaut.

So, what are you doing here, Ninja?

Oh, I just stopped by to see Norrisville's most beloved gazillionaire.

But, while I'm here, Ninja sap attack!

Not sure why you're doing that, but I am not going to let it happen.

Really? In front of all these people.

-(indistinct chattering) -(grumbling)

Merry Christmas, McFist. And to all a good Ninja!

I can't believe that worked.

Oh... boy.

Almost worked. It almost worked.

In the spirit of the holidays, any chance we can just skip this fight?

-(growls) -(screams) So that's a "no."

-Get him. -(growling)

Ninja dodge!

On Dasher, on Donner,

on Dancer, on Blitzen.

And a snowball slash.

Hiyah! Hiyah! Hiyah! Hiyah! (continues)

Mmm.

-Oh-uh. (yells, grunts) -(shouts)

-My sap! -Destroy the Ninja.

-Destroy the Ninja! Yes! -(all gasp)

I mean, no! Wow! Oh, the robots, they have gone crazy!

(screams) Everyone, please exit the room in an orderly fashion.

-(garbling) -(all scream)

(grunts)

Oh, boy.

-(thudding) -(yells)

Give that snowman a raise.

(shouts)

-I got my wristband off! -A little late, buddy.

If only I had a smoke bomb.

Didn't you find your smoke bomb tree?

Howard, that is the smoke bomb tree.

Wait a minute. The smoke bomb tree!

You're a genius! Although I'm still mad at you.

-(grunts) -(groans)

-(grunts) -If you let him escape

Christmas is cancelled!

Huh? Ah!

(Randy shouting)

-Whoa! -Yah!

I've been waiting all night to say this.

Smoke bomb!

(Hannibal) I can't see a thing. Did we get him?

(all exclaim)

-It smells like... -The smoke bomb tree. It's gone.

Listen, I'm sorry I lied to you.

But what if I got you a present that made everything all better?

There's no thing you could get me that would possibly make up for...

Except that.

Now I hit it with some art of heal.

Couple days I be dripping in smoke bombs.

-Thanks, Howard. -Merry Christmas, Cunningham.

I did not think this is how we'd be

-kicking off winter break. -(deep voice) Winter break!

-(deep voice) Winter break! -(both laugh)

Listen, I know why you didn't tell me

about your dad working for McFist,

and I just want you to know we're best friends.

You can tell me anything.

Cool! 'Cause I've been meaning to tell you.

I've been borrowing your underpants for, like, months.

(Randy) Ooh... Why would you tell me that?

(flatulence)

Hiyah!

Hiyah! (grunts)

(screams)

Yah! (grunts)

I'm Mac Antfee, world-famous butt-whooper.

(grunting)

(woman) Butt-whooper.

Give me two days, and I can turn anyone into a ninja.

Even me, Mac Antfee?

Ooh!

Mac Antfee's Fantasy Ninja Camp-splosion!

(woman) Camp-splosion.

Get ready to eat fist!

Two for this weekend's Camp-splosion.

Howard, I can't play Ninja with you this weekend.

Why not? We used to play Ninja together all the time!

-Hiyah! Hiyah! Hiyah! -Hiyah! Hiyah! Hiyah!

Those were the bruise-old days.

Then go to Ninja Camp with me, Cunningham.

Fate and this credit card have given us a chance to Ninja as we once did.

-Yah! -Yah!

I can't. I have to stay here and train.

In case you haven't noticed, I've been off my Ninja game lately.

Oh-ho, I noticed.

Everybody's noticed.

Ninja chop!

Huh?

Ooh, my bad.

So you've had a few off days.

Don't start questioning if you're the right guy to be the Ninja.

-I'm not! -Neither am I.

The point is, you need to sharpen your skills.

Where better than Ninja Camp?

Camp-splosion!

-(book humming) -Seriously?

We're in the middle of a conversation here.

And it's a good one.

(grunts)

Ah! I just got Nomiconned.

(screams)

I'm not the wrong guy to be the Ninja, right?

(gasps)

"The questions of the present can be answered by the past."

Mac Antfee was the Ninja?

He could tell me if I'm truly a Ninja or just some shoob in black jimmy jams.

Guess I'm getting my 'splosion on!

(rock music)

-(toilet flushing) -(groans)

(all gasping)

Hey, it smelled like that before I went in there!

No, Howard, look!

(both gasp)

(grunting)

I am Mac Antfee, master Ninja, fitness model,

and world-famous butt-whoop-smith!

Mr. Antfee, it is an honor to meet you.

I have so many questions.

(grunting)

What does it mean to be a Ninja?

Being a Ninja means protecting the weak and fighting for good, sir!

Wow... not even close!

Being a Ninja means winning by any means necessary.

No matter what!

You're a fan of the Ninja of Norrisville, aren't you?

Oh, you and me both, right?

(nervous chuckle)

I don't like you.

And I doubt I ever will.

Aside from Johnny Nicewad here, who's up for winning some fights?

-(all shouting) -Now, get out there and hurt each other!

This guy's a little more... intense than I expected.

I know! He's like the coolest ninja I've ever met!

Second coolest, Cunningham, second coolest.

Prepare to learn the battle-owned wisdom of the masters!

-(grunting) -I'm talking fish-hookin',

foot-stompin', and a little beauty I like to call...

...the conversation-stopper!

-(gasps) -Yah!

Yes! In your face, Ninja!

-(snarling) -Ha-ha! I love this guy!

Really, Nomicon? This is the past Ninja you wanted me to learn from?

Okay, candy apples,

time to separate the winners from whatever you call people who don't win.

I wouldn't know. I don't hang out with un-winners.

-On your mark, get set... -(devious chuckle)

(gonging)

(all grunting)

(all shouting)

Hey, he cheated!

No, he won.

-Yeah! -(groans)

(Mac) Mark my words, as a Ninja,

you will find yourself staring down the business end

of a pressurized gravy cannon.

-(grunts) -You never told me about the gravy!

There is no gravy.

I'm starting to think Mac's a little... off.

Where's my man-gong?

(gonging)

(all grunting)

(all grunting)

(screams)

(grunting continues)

Huh?

Help! I can't move.

-(groaning) -(grunting)

-What was that? -Braden needed help.

"Braden needed help." That little weasel out-Ninja-ed you!

Time to step it up, chowder face!

-(groans) -All right, Nicewad,

can't wait to see how you totally blow this one.

(weak grunting)

Throw muck in his eye. Bam!

-Make him eat fist! -But he's half my size.

Then you only gotta throw half the muck.

-Man-gong! -(skidding)

(grunts)

-(both grunting) -Braden, I'm not gonna... Ah!

Are you...? What...? Your hands are so tiny!

-(Braden laughs, grunting) -Ah!

Winner! This little twerp's got the spirit of Ninja in him!

-Winner! Winner! Both winners! -(both) Yeah!

Everyone makes the Smackdown Squad...

-(all cheering) -...except you.

You are not a Ninja.

Not now, not ever!

Come, my Macolytes,

join me in the Pagoda of Infinite Knowledge.

Where you will receive your Smackdown suits

and coupons good for ten percent off anything in the Smackdown shop!

(all cheering)

Slappage! Hah!

If we could get the slappage happening, that would be great.

I got a tent of wisdom to get to.

It's the Pagoda of Knowledge.

And it's stupid. This whole place is stupid.

How could you make the squad and I didn't?

I'm the Ninja!

Are you? 'Cause right now, you're acting like a real chowder-face.

Smoke bomb, Cunningham, smoke bomb.

(groans)

(grunting)

What am I supposed to learn from that psycho?

If that's the kind of Ninja I'm supposed to be,

then you got the wrong freshman.

-(humming) -(grunts)

-(grunts) -You are condemned

for conduct unbecoming a ninja.

Turn in your mask.

-Huh? -You can't do this!

I'm Mac Antfee!

Someday, I'll come back for that ninja suit.

And when I get it, I'll kick every butt in Norrisville!

"The questions of the present can be answered by the past."

(gasps)

You could've just told me Mac Antfee was a nutjob.

What was this, some kind of test? Oh, my ninja, it was a test!

And I aced it!

I am the right guy to be the Ninja.

Mac Antfee, prepare to get your butt whooped

by a nicewad.

You have proved you will do anything to win.

Now you must prove you will do anything for Mac Antfee to win!

-(all) Yeah! -Begin the Mac Antfee Loyalty Oath.

It is the spark that lights the fuse of your ninja-splosion.

Repeat after me:

Mac Antfee is the one true ninja.

(all) Mac Antfee is the one true ninja.

I follow every order Mac gives without question.

(all) I follow every order Mac gives without question.

The Ninja of Norrisville is a jerk!

-(all) The Ninja of Norrisville is a jerk! -Hang on a second.

We will find him, crush him, strip him of his suit,

give said suit to Mac Antfee, and applaud loudly

as Mac Antfee kicks every butt in Norrisville!

-(crickets chirping) -Just say "okay"!

(all) Okay! Crush the Ninja!

-(all repeating) -I'm not really much of a chanter,

so I'm gonna... On second thought, I could chant.

-Hah! -Ninja!

-Ninja! -Oh, hey, Mac.

Thought I'd stop by, see how the whole 'splosion's going.

-Red Suits, this is my moment. -(all shouting)

This is why we meet every first and third Saturday of the month.

This is the time!

Let him eat fist!

Looks like it's just you and me.

You know you don't have to do this.

Perfect. I'm gonna go hide in the kitchen.

Uh-oh.

Unleash the 'splosion!

(grunting)

(grunts)

Hiyah! Hiyah! Hiyah!

-Attack! -(grunts)

I got this.

(both shouting)

-(grunting) -Ow! Oh! Ow!

-A-ha! -(Mac) Finally,

I will take the suit back and make the world kiss my butt.

Not while I'm the Ninja.

-(shouting) -Ooh!

Huh? What?

You didn't think I was gonna fight you? You got the suit, it wouldn't be fair.

You are dumb.

Hand over the mask.

No honking way.

-(snaps fingers) -(Randy) Howard!

Just so you know, Ninja, I totally took down that shoob, Braden.

And then these guys showed up.

You have betrayed me, Macolyte.

Yeah, well, that's 'cause I realized you were wiggety-nuts!

(screams)

Give me the mask or I drop him!

Don't do it, Ninja. What am I saying? Give him the mask!

Fine. Just one thing. Smoke bomb!

-(grunts) -It's not possible!

That kid has escaped, bro!

Hey, why don't you reel me in and we'll look for him together?

-(beeping) -(whirring)

Ninja bluff! Hiyah!

(screams)

(grunts) Let him go!

You just read my mind.

(screams)

(grunts)

(grunts) Don't mean to be ungrateful, but

you're giving me an epic wedgie right now!

Hiyah. Hiyah. (grunts) Where's Mac Antfee?

Hey, Ninja, sorry about that whole trying-to-take-you-down thing.

We just kinda assumed it was part of the 'splosion.

It's cool. I'm just thankful one of you stuck with me through it all.

This dainty-handed warrior

possesses the spirit of a true Ninja.

Yeah! In your face, Braden!

Smoke bomb!

Ah, Ninja Camp, great idea, Howard.

You know, we should go again next year.

Hey, don't be bitter, Cunningham.

So you're not cut out for Ninja Camp.

You're just too much of a nicewad.

Guess you're just gonna have to settle for being the best Ninja

Norrisville ever had. Of course, you did let Mac get away.

I'm Mac Antfee.

World-famous butt-whooper.

And I will 'splode again!

(theme music playing)