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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,250 (boy) For 800 years, 2 00:00:02,333 --> 00:00:05,333 Norrisville High has been protected by a ninja. 3 00:00:05,417 --> 00:00:08,667 No one knows that every four years, 4 00:00:08,750 --> 00:00:10,130 a new warrior is chosen. 5 00:00:10,208 --> 00:00:11,748 ♪ Go, ninja! ♪ 6 00:00:11,834 --> 00:00:14,424 A freshman to fight the forces of evil. 7 00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:16,000 I am the Ninja. 8 00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:18,173 I am Randy Cunningham. 9 00:00:18,250 --> 00:00:20,170 ♪ Smoke bomb ♪ 10 00:00:20,250 --> 00:00:21,750 ♪ What the hey Come on, you ♪ 11 00:00:21,834 --> 00:00:23,884 ♪ What the juice He's a Bruce ♪ 12 00:00:23,959 --> 00:00:25,539 ♪ Besta cheese Ninja freeze ♪ 13 00:00:25,625 --> 00:00:27,245 ♪ Ninja rock Don't stop ♪ 14 00:00:27,333 --> 00:00:29,293 -♪ What the hey ♪ -♪ Come on, you ♪ 15 00:00:29,375 --> 00:00:31,325 ♪ Do it, ninja What the juice ♪ 16 00:00:31,417 --> 00:00:33,377 ♪ He's a hero Come on, fighter ♪ 17 00:00:33,458 --> 00:00:35,918 ♪ Just a freshman and a ninja ♪ 18 00:00:48,709 --> 00:00:50,079 (Randy) Smoke bomb! 19 00:00:55,417 --> 00:00:58,247 (Randy) The way to forget is to remember. 20 00:00:58,333 --> 00:00:59,883 What the juice? 21 00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:01,329 (grunting) 22 00:01:03,166 --> 00:01:04,916 You were gonna draw a moustache on my face? 23 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,000 What? No! 24 00:01:07,083 --> 00:01:09,503 I wanted to see how you look with sideburns. 25 00:01:09,583 --> 00:01:13,133 And the word "garbanzo" on your forehead. 26 00:01:13,208 --> 00:01:14,578 What were you doing in the Nomicon? 27 00:01:14,667 --> 00:01:17,417 You think being the Ninja is all flipping and punching and kicking. 28 00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:20,080 And it is, which is awesome. 29 00:01:20,166 --> 00:01:22,326 But every so often, my ninja-ing takes me 30 00:01:22,417 --> 00:01:25,877 to a wicked gross place I call the Shnasty Zone. 31 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:28,880 What? 32 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:31,249 Zippity bop mm-mm. 33 00:01:35,208 --> 00:01:36,788 Shnasty! 34 00:01:36,875 --> 00:01:40,075 (Randy) And there was a time I saw Principal Slimovitz after school. 35 00:01:41,333 --> 00:01:44,833 Yee-haw! I'm a big baby cowboy. 36 00:01:44,917 --> 00:01:47,497 (horse neighing) 37 00:01:47,583 --> 00:01:48,963 Aw, shnasty! 38 00:01:49,041 --> 00:01:52,171 (Randy) And you know Taco Tuesday in the cafeteria? 39 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,880 (splashing) 40 00:01:58,417 --> 00:02:00,207 Shnasty! 41 00:02:00,291 --> 00:02:02,381 (vomiting) 42 00:02:03,583 --> 00:02:05,923 (laughing) Whoa! 43 00:02:06,041 --> 00:02:09,081 Oh, thanks for nothing, Cunningham. 44 00:02:09,166 --> 00:02:11,286 Now, I can't eat the tacos. 45 00:02:12,208 --> 00:02:13,998 Nah, I'm still gonna eat the tacos. 46 00:02:14,083 --> 00:02:16,133 So, I went in the Nomicon to see if there was some way 47 00:02:16,208 --> 00:02:19,458 to unremember that stuff. Uh, like a mind-wipe. 48 00:02:19,542 --> 00:02:21,672 I could totally use a mind-wipe. 49 00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:23,750 You know that stupid Whoopee World commercial? 50 00:02:23,834 --> 00:02:26,674 (upbeat electronic music) 51 00:02:28,208 --> 00:02:29,958 (screaming) 52 00:02:30,041 --> 00:02:33,001 I keep getting it stuck in my head. 53 00:02:33,083 --> 00:02:35,713 Whenever I hear it, I can't think of anything else. 54 00:02:35,792 --> 00:02:36,882 Hmm? 55 00:02:36,959 --> 00:02:38,959 Don't you do it. 56 00:02:39,041 --> 00:02:40,791 ♪ Whoop, whoop, whoop Whoop, whoop, whoopee ♪ 57 00:02:40,875 --> 00:02:42,535 ♪ Whoop, whoop, whoop Whoop, whoop, whoopee ♪ 58 00:02:42,625 --> 00:02:44,915 (groaning) 59 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,710 -♪ Whoop, whoop, whoopee ♪ -(shouting) 60 00:02:47,875 --> 00:02:49,705 Turns out Becky's just a little bloated, 61 00:02:49,792 --> 00:02:51,542 so it was all just a huge misunderstanding. 62 00:02:51,625 --> 00:02:53,455 (cheering) 63 00:02:53,542 --> 00:02:55,172 -Hey, Heidi. -(scoffs) 64 00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:56,330 What the juice, Howard? 65 00:02:56,417 --> 00:02:58,167 Kinda doing a live gossip report here. 66 00:02:58,250 --> 00:03:00,960 Kinda got an emergency here. I need lunch money. 67 00:03:01,041 --> 00:03:02,291 What about the money Mom gave you? 68 00:03:02,375 --> 00:03:04,285 That was just brunch money. 69 00:03:04,375 --> 00:03:08,075 Gossip report, huh? Weak, lame, snoozer. 70 00:03:08,166 --> 00:03:09,876 Look, if you want real gossip, 71 00:03:09,959 --> 00:03:12,539 I'll give you the real dish. 72 00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:14,875 Please. The only dish you know 73 00:03:14,959 --> 00:03:16,709 comes with sausage and extra cheese. 74 00:03:16,792 --> 00:03:18,632 -(reaction) - (boy) Oh, man! 75 00:03:18,709 --> 00:03:20,669 Real nice. 76 00:03:20,750 --> 00:03:22,880 Well, stuff this in your gossip hole. 77 00:03:22,959 --> 00:03:25,629 After school P. Slims likes to mosey around 78 00:03:25,709 --> 00:03:28,249 in nothing but a ten gallon hat and training pants. 79 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,423 Nuh-uh! 80 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:33,080 Yee-haw! I'm a big baby cowboy. 81 00:03:33,166 --> 00:03:34,956 (kids laughing) 82 00:03:35,041 --> 00:03:36,831 After school is me time! 83 00:03:38,583 --> 00:03:40,503 (Heidi) All right, that was pretty juicy. 84 00:03:40,583 --> 00:03:42,253 -I'll give you a splart. -(squishing) 85 00:03:42,333 --> 00:03:44,673 So, if you don't have anything else, buh-bye. 86 00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:46,830 Sista, please, they don't call me Double Dip 87 00:03:46,917 --> 00:03:48,207 just 'cause I like ice cream. 88 00:03:48,291 --> 00:03:50,791 I always got another scoop. 89 00:03:50,875 --> 00:03:52,785 -(groaning) -You know Taco Tuesday? 90 00:03:52,875 --> 00:03:55,415 They oughta rename it Roadkill Tuesday. 91 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:56,670 Nuh-uh! 92 00:03:56,750 --> 00:03:58,130 (bell ringing) 93 00:03:58,208 --> 00:03:59,708 (indistinct chattering) 94 00:03:59,792 --> 00:04:01,462 Awesome gossip, Howard! 95 00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:02,882 Double Dip! 96 00:04:02,959 --> 00:04:05,669 He saved us from eating chipmunk-changas. 97 00:04:05,750 --> 00:04:06,750 Huh? 98 00:04:09,834 --> 00:04:12,134 Ah! That's the slow clap. 99 00:04:12,208 --> 00:04:13,628 You're getting the slow clap! 100 00:04:13,709 --> 00:04:14,879 (chuckling) 101 00:04:14,959 --> 00:04:17,249 We're getting the slow clap. 102 00:04:17,333 --> 00:04:19,883 Couldn't have done it without your gossip. 103 00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:21,629 Couldn't have done it without your big mouth. 104 00:04:23,291 --> 00:04:24,921 Howard, my paid views are through the roof. 105 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,170 -I need more gossip, -(shouting) 106 00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:27,500 and I need it in three, two... 107 00:04:27,583 --> 00:04:29,583 (Heidi) It's the Deep Dish 108 00:04:29,667 --> 00:04:32,667 with Howard "Double Dip" Weinerman. Whoo! 109 00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:35,920 So, Howard, everyone's dying to know what other juicy gossip you got. 110 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,130 (breathless) Let's hear it. 111 00:04:37,208 --> 00:04:39,328 Uh... 112 00:04:40,166 --> 00:04:41,576 I don't know. 113 00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,460 Don't embarrass me, Double Dip. 114 00:04:49,542 --> 00:04:51,292 You must know one secret. 115 00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,785 One thing nobody else knows. 116 00:04:53,875 --> 00:04:56,625 One single thing someone's confided in you 117 00:04:56,709 --> 00:04:59,419 that you're not supposed to tell anyone. 118 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,750 -(bell dings) -I know who the Ninja is! 119 00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:03,214 -(gasping) -Wha... 120 00:05:03,291 --> 00:05:05,001 -(exclaims) -(splurting) 121 00:05:05,083 --> 00:05:07,633 You know who the Ninja is? 122 00:05:07,709 --> 00:05:09,539 Yes. Yes, I do. 123 00:05:09,625 --> 00:05:12,415 So, if you want the deep dish, 124 00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:14,330 you'll have to tune in tomorrow. 125 00:05:14,417 --> 00:05:15,957 Double Dip! 126 00:05:18,291 --> 00:05:21,211 Need a mind-wipe, need a mind-wipe, need a mind-wipe, need a mind-wipe! 127 00:05:30,291 --> 00:05:31,921 (Randy) "The way to forget... 128 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,880 is to remember." 129 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,290 Not a mind-wipe! 130 00:05:36,041 --> 00:05:38,381 -(gasping) -(humming) 131 00:05:38,375 --> 00:05:39,915 What were you gonna do this time? 132 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,790 Write "Ninja" on my forehead? 133 00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,075 (nervous chuckle) 134 00:05:43,166 --> 00:05:45,786 I panicked, but I know how to fix it. 135 00:05:45,875 --> 00:05:47,785 I'll just string 'em along 136 00:05:47,875 --> 00:05:49,495 until you figure out how to fix it. 137 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,633 Or I know, I could mind-wipe the entire town. 138 00:05:51,709 --> 00:05:53,289 I like it, I like it. 139 00:05:53,375 --> 00:05:55,245 Except there is no mind-wipe! 140 00:05:55,333 --> 00:05:56,963 I don't like it. 141 00:05:57,041 --> 00:05:59,831 (Howard) Cunningham, don't be so hard on yourself. 142 00:05:59,917 --> 00:06:01,627 This isn't your fault. 143 00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:03,709 I know it's not my fault. It's your fault. 144 00:06:03,792 --> 00:06:05,422 It's your big mouth's fault. 145 00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:08,040 Huh. Didn't hear any complaining during the slow clap. 146 00:06:08,125 --> 00:06:10,495 All I'm saying is, if McFist saw the show, 147 00:06:10,583 --> 00:06:11,543 he might come after you. 148 00:06:11,625 --> 00:06:13,745 Oh, nobody's coming after me. 149 00:06:13,834 --> 00:06:16,464 Mr. Weinerman, your limousine is here. 150 00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:18,582 Listen, I gotta jet, my limo's here. 151 00:06:18,667 --> 00:06:20,877 Call me later and tell me how you are gonna fix this. 152 00:06:21,625 --> 00:06:24,495 -Howard, you don't have a limo. -(door closing) 153 00:06:25,667 --> 00:06:27,497 It occurs to me I don't have a limo. 154 00:06:28,917 --> 00:06:30,327 Ah! 155 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,460 McFist. 156 00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:41,250 Hang in there, Double Dip. I'm coming for ya'. 157 00:06:43,041 --> 00:06:44,381 (sighs) 158 00:06:46,083 --> 00:06:48,173 Ah! Ah! 159 00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:50,460 -(growling) -Ah! 160 00:06:50,542 --> 00:06:53,292 I suppose you're wondering why we brought you here. 161 00:06:53,375 --> 00:06:56,495 Uh, 'cause I said I know who the Ninja is? 162 00:06:57,333 --> 00:07:00,793 Okay. But you must be wondering 163 00:07:00,875 --> 00:07:02,495 how we're going to get you to tell us. 164 00:07:02,583 --> 00:07:04,883 -By torturing me? -By torturing you! 165 00:07:04,959 --> 00:07:06,709 -That's what he said. -I know that! 166 00:07:10,291 --> 00:07:12,251 (exclaiming) 167 00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:15,043 (laughing) 168 00:07:15,125 --> 00:07:16,625 No, no! Okay, okay. 169 00:07:16,709 --> 00:07:19,289 Ninja Scarf Save! (shouting) 170 00:07:21,959 --> 00:07:23,379 Ninja Sprint! 171 00:07:28,083 --> 00:07:29,883 No, no, no, no! Oh, no, no, no! 172 00:07:29,959 --> 00:07:31,539 Ninja Stop, Ninja Stop, Ninja Stop! 173 00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:35,375 No, no, no, no, no, no, eee. 174 00:07:35,458 --> 00:07:37,248 Bring out the Chair of Torture. 175 00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:39,043 The Rack! The Iron Maiden! 176 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:40,285 -Ah! -The Bed of Anguish. 177 00:07:40,375 --> 00:07:43,325 And, uh... Uh, feels like I'm forgetting one. 178 00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:45,285 -Um... -I'll get my Mindreader. 179 00:07:45,375 --> 00:07:47,075 We can figure out what you're forgetting. 180 00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:48,876 You have a Mindreader? 181 00:07:48,959 --> 00:07:50,959 -Why didn't you tell me? -You never asked! 182 00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:52,461 What am I supposed to be, a Mindreader? 183 00:07:52,542 --> 00:07:54,422 (chuckling) You see what I did there? 184 00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:55,920 (chuckling) 185 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,380 Bring in the Mindreader! 186 00:07:57,458 --> 00:07:58,878 Don't get smashed, don't get smashed. 187 00:07:58,959 --> 00:08:00,879 Now don't get smashed, now do not get smashed! 188 00:08:00,959 --> 00:08:02,829 (shouting) Wait for it, wait for it. 189 00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:06,207 Wait for it, now! Ah! Ah! 190 00:08:06,291 --> 00:08:08,671 Scariest vent ever! 191 00:08:10,083 --> 00:08:12,383 It's oil o'clock somewhere. 192 00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:14,418 -Am I right? -(laughing) 193 00:08:15,709 --> 00:08:16,999 Crack! 194 00:08:17,792 --> 00:08:19,212 Uh. Whoops. 195 00:08:27,417 --> 00:08:28,417 Get him. 196 00:08:29,834 --> 00:08:31,794 (thinking) Okay, don't think about the Ninja. 197 00:08:31,875 --> 00:08:33,035 Think about something else. 198 00:08:33,125 --> 00:08:34,955 Think about, uh... baseball. 199 00:08:35,041 --> 00:08:38,291 I don't know anything about baseball! 200 00:08:38,375 --> 00:08:40,625 (exclaiming) 201 00:08:40,709 --> 00:08:43,669 Sorry, fellas. Break time's over. 202 00:08:44,417 --> 00:08:45,667 (shouting) 203 00:08:50,458 --> 00:08:52,418 (Randy) Leftovers, popcorn. 204 00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:54,670 Oh, here it is. Robo-ape. 205 00:08:55,583 --> 00:08:57,883 -(humming) -(whirring) 206 00:08:57,959 --> 00:08:59,039 (bell dings) 207 00:09:06,625 --> 00:09:08,825 (laughing) 208 00:09:14,583 --> 00:09:18,293 We're about to discover the Ninja's secret identity. 209 00:09:18,375 --> 00:09:20,455 I can't wait to tell Mother. 210 00:09:28,041 --> 00:09:30,381 That's it? That's the Mindreader? 211 00:09:30,458 --> 00:09:32,828 Couldn't have made it any smaller? 212 00:09:32,917 --> 00:09:36,037 I could have, but then you wouldn't have been able to see anything. 213 00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:38,915 (repeating) Forget about the Ninja. 214 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,880 (Randy) Psst. Howard. 215 00:09:40,959 --> 00:09:42,999 Oh, no, I'm hearing his voice. 216 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,543 No, Howard, up here. 217 00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:46,035 Hey, I'm trying to forget... 218 00:09:46,125 --> 00:09:48,705 Oh, Ninja. Took you long enough. 219 00:09:48,792 --> 00:09:50,582 Well, it's good to see you too, buddy. 220 00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:53,207 Right, sorry. You okay? 221 00:09:53,291 --> 00:09:54,331 Now get me outta here! 222 00:09:58,375 --> 00:10:00,535 (exclaiming) 223 00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:01,785 I can't get through. 224 00:10:04,458 --> 00:10:05,578 (shouts) 225 00:10:05,667 --> 00:10:08,497 Down in front, you banana eating trashcans! 226 00:10:08,583 --> 00:10:10,713 Ninja, I haven't sold you out. 227 00:10:10,792 --> 00:10:12,792 I would never sell you out. 228 00:10:12,875 --> 00:10:15,825 -Thanks, pal. -But, they have a Mindreader, 229 00:10:15,917 --> 00:10:17,917 so there's a pretty good chance 230 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,330 -I'm gonna sell you out. -What? 231 00:10:19,417 --> 00:10:21,417 You know what we could really use right about now? 232 00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:23,580 A mind-wipe. Am I right? 233 00:10:23,667 --> 00:10:24,957 There is no mind-wipe! 234 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:28,541 All the Nomicon said was the way to forget is to remember. 235 00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:31,377 ♪ Whoop, whoop, whoop Whoop, whoop, whoopee ♪ 236 00:10:31,458 --> 00:10:33,418 ♪ Whoop, whoop, whoop Whoop, whoop, whoopee ♪ 237 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,420 -♪ Whoop, whoop, whoop ♪ -Why would you do that? 238 00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:38,080 Now that stupid song is all I can think about... 239 00:10:38,166 --> 00:10:40,326 Ohhhh. 240 00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:44,002 Show me the Ninja! 241 00:10:44,083 --> 00:10:47,423 ♪ Whoop, whoop, whoop Whoop, whoop, whoopee ♪ 242 00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:50,130 What is that, some sort of song? 243 00:10:50,208 --> 00:10:51,828 It's the only thing on his mind. 244 00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:54,537 The only thing? There's nothing else? 245 00:10:54,625 --> 00:10:56,705 Bubkis, didley, zippo. 246 00:10:56,792 --> 00:10:58,252 Shut it off, shut it off! 247 00:10:58,333 --> 00:11:00,583 This chucklehead doesn't know who the Ninja is. 248 00:11:00,667 --> 00:11:01,957 (McFist) Get him outta here! 249 00:11:02,041 --> 00:11:03,331 Whoopee. 250 00:11:05,834 --> 00:11:07,254 Listen, Cunningham. 251 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,963 I'm sorry my big mouth got us in so much trouble. 252 00:11:10,041 --> 00:11:11,581 I take full responsibility. 253 00:11:11,667 --> 00:11:13,497 Howard, we're cool. 254 00:11:15,291 --> 00:11:17,881 But this is kinda your fault too, a little bit, right? 255 00:11:17,959 --> 00:11:19,749 I mean, you know I can't keep a secret, 256 00:11:19,834 --> 00:11:21,834 and it's not like I ever asked if you were the Ninja, 257 00:11:21,917 --> 00:11:24,077 -you just told me, so... -Howard. 258 00:11:24,166 --> 00:11:26,536 -You know what, we'll call it even. -Oh, here's the thing. 259 00:11:26,625 --> 00:11:29,035 The whole school thinks you're revealing the Ninja's identity. 260 00:11:29,125 --> 00:11:30,745 So, how are you gonna handle that, Double D? 261 00:11:30,834 --> 00:11:33,924 Relax. I got this. 262 00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:37,670 So, Howard, who's the Ninja? 263 00:11:37,750 --> 00:11:39,630 The Ninja is... 264 00:11:39,709 --> 00:11:41,379 ♪ Whoop, whoop, whoop Whoop, whoop, whoopee ♪ 265 00:11:41,458 --> 00:11:43,078 ♪ Whoop, whoop, whoop Whoop, whoop, whoopee ♪ 266 00:11:43,166 --> 00:11:46,326 Howard! I knew you didn't know! Ah! 267 00:11:46,417 --> 00:11:48,037 ♪ Whoop, whoop, whoop Whoop, whoop, whoopee ♪ 268 00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:49,745 ♪ Whoop, whoop, whoop Whoop, whoop, whoopee ♪ 269 00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,834 ♪ Whoop, whoop, whoop Whoop, whoop, whoopee ♪ 270 00:11:52,917 --> 00:11:54,877 ♪ Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop ♪ 271 00:11:54,959 --> 00:11:57,919 (bell ringing) 272 00:11:58,625 --> 00:12:01,375 Is it me, or is Coach Green completely insane? 273 00:12:01,458 --> 00:12:04,328 Well, I think he's just trying to keep gym class interesting. 274 00:12:05,709 --> 00:12:06,829 (laughing) 275 00:12:06,917 --> 00:12:09,077 This baby has a light trigger. 276 00:12:10,041 --> 00:12:11,331 Nope, he's totally insane. 277 00:12:11,417 --> 00:12:12,457 -So. -(shrieking) 278 00:12:12,542 --> 00:12:14,542 Who's ready to play hopscotch? 279 00:12:14,625 --> 00:12:15,955 (cell phone ringing) 280 00:12:16,041 --> 00:12:18,211 Uh-huh, uh-huh. Okay, cheers. 281 00:12:18,291 --> 00:12:20,331 Apparently, your "fire marshal" 282 00:12:20,417 --> 00:12:23,997 has some safety concerns, so hopscotch is off. 283 00:12:25,125 --> 00:12:26,785 I know, I'm bummed too. 284 00:12:26,875 --> 00:12:29,245 Guess I'll just have to go with my back-up plan. 285 00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:31,293 Climbing a rope! 286 00:12:32,166 --> 00:12:33,746 See, that is refreshingly rational. 287 00:12:33,834 --> 00:12:35,384 But to ensure a spirited romp, 288 00:12:35,458 --> 00:12:37,668 I've enlisted a few of your classmates 289 00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:40,710 to assault you with balls as you ascend! 290 00:12:40,792 --> 00:12:42,422 Aw, we just got greened! 291 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:43,790 Greened hard. 292 00:12:45,166 --> 00:12:47,706 Mick! Now we got one less crushing ball! 293 00:12:47,792 --> 00:12:49,002 (whistle) 294 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:53,170 Ready to give it a go... Stevens. 295 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,500 Ha! You're gonna eat it, Stevens. 296 00:12:56,959 --> 00:12:58,329 According to his family physician, 297 00:12:58,417 --> 00:13:01,787 young Stevens here has some sort of "medical condition" 298 00:13:01,875 --> 00:13:04,075 that forbids him from climbing a rope. 299 00:13:04,166 --> 00:13:05,626 (blowing the trumpet) 300 00:13:05,709 --> 00:13:09,749 Well, then, Mr. Weinerman, you're first to shimmy the wipple. 301 00:13:09,834 --> 00:13:12,834 -(Howard muttering) -(bird calling) 302 00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:14,627 (grunts, inhales) 303 00:13:14,709 --> 00:13:16,629 -(bell ringing) -Ooh! 304 00:13:16,709 --> 00:13:18,039 Oh, man! 305 00:13:18,125 --> 00:13:19,875 Outta time. (chuckles) 306 00:13:19,959 --> 00:13:21,539 And I was just about to get my shimmy on. 307 00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:23,325 Chin up, Weinerman. 308 00:13:23,417 --> 00:13:25,327 You'll be first on the rope tomorrow. 309 00:13:25,417 --> 00:13:26,707 Stupid wipple! 310 00:13:26,792 --> 00:13:28,422 (groaning) 311 00:13:30,750 --> 00:13:33,710 I do not want to climb that rope. 312 00:13:35,375 --> 00:13:37,745 We're gonna crush you tomorrow! 313 00:13:37,834 --> 00:13:41,384 Crush you like the thing that crushes... 314 00:13:41,458 --> 00:13:42,998 other things! 315 00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:44,633 (shouting) Yeah! 316 00:13:44,709 --> 00:13:45,789 (shrieks) 317 00:13:45,875 --> 00:13:47,535 (laughing) 318 00:13:47,625 --> 00:13:50,415 Mick, bro. You're killin' me. 319 00:13:51,041 --> 00:13:54,501 What would you say if I said you don't have to climb that rope? 320 00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:57,293 I would say great! And then I might ask how. 321 00:13:57,375 --> 00:14:00,535 I don't know. But I bet the answer lies within... 322 00:14:00,625 --> 00:14:02,205 the Nomicon! 323 00:14:02,291 --> 00:14:03,381 That's your math book. 324 00:14:03,458 --> 00:14:06,078 I meant the Nomicon! 325 00:14:06,166 --> 00:14:07,786 (Randy) Listen, Nomicon. 326 00:14:07,875 --> 00:14:09,705 You and I both know Howard can't climb that rope. 327 00:14:09,792 --> 00:14:12,632 We have to help him. Whatta ya' got? 328 00:14:16,291 --> 00:14:18,541 (evil laughter) 329 00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:23,080 "The best way to avoid an attack, is to avoid an attack?" 330 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,460 What the juice? Fine. You know what? 331 00:14:26,542 --> 00:14:27,962 Forget it, Nomicon. 332 00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:29,251 If you didn't want to help, 333 00:14:29,333 --> 00:14:31,923 all you had to do was not suck me in here. 334 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:35,130 Okay, the floor is splitting. 335 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,668 (screaming) 336 00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:38,750 (grunts) 337 00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:40,334 (moaning) 338 00:14:40,375 --> 00:14:41,625 So, you got it? 339 00:14:41,709 --> 00:14:43,079 Book was a dead-end. 340 00:14:43,166 --> 00:14:45,286 -And kinda jerky about it. -(growling) 341 00:14:45,375 --> 00:14:47,625 (blowing the trumpet) 342 00:14:47,709 --> 00:14:48,749 Ha-ha! 343 00:14:48,834 --> 00:14:53,714 Stevens. Thinks he's so cool 'cause he's got that fancy doctor's note. 344 00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:55,462 (sigh) Wish I had IBS. 345 00:14:55,542 --> 00:14:56,922 Ah, that's it, Howard! 346 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,420 We need a doctor's note. 347 00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:01,080 We need a golden doctor's note. 348 00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,376 Cunningham. Everyone and their brother's 349 00:15:03,458 --> 00:15:04,668 gone looking for that notepad. 350 00:15:04,750 --> 00:15:06,540 It doesn't exist, it's a myth. 351 00:15:06,625 --> 00:15:09,245 A fairytale seventh graders tell each other at sleepovers. 352 00:15:09,333 --> 00:15:10,833 Right now it's our only hope. 353 00:15:10,917 --> 00:15:13,287 We just have to find a way into... 354 00:15:13,375 --> 00:15:15,415 the old gym. 355 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:19,043 This is a terrible plan. Just want you to know that. 356 00:15:19,125 --> 00:15:21,455 No. No. No. 357 00:15:21,542 --> 00:15:24,422 -Ah! -Greetings, normals. 358 00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:26,880 If you seek the entrance to the old gym, 359 00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:30,459 it lies not in this tin tomb. 360 00:15:30,542 --> 00:15:32,882 (giggles) Ouch. 361 00:15:32,959 --> 00:15:35,329 -Julian? -Weirdo. 362 00:15:35,417 --> 00:15:37,497 I haunt this locker room every day, 363 00:15:37,583 --> 00:15:39,383 yet the entrance eludes me. 364 00:15:39,458 --> 00:15:41,248 And I even possess a map. 365 00:15:41,333 --> 00:15:44,133 But I've never been able to decipher the riddle. 366 00:15:44,208 --> 00:15:46,288 Solve it, and you can join me 367 00:15:46,375 --> 00:15:49,245 on a quest into the deep, cavernous void. 368 00:15:49,333 --> 00:15:51,333 I'm awesome at riddles. 369 00:15:51,417 --> 00:15:54,207 "In this room, amid the sweat stink and such, 370 00:15:54,291 --> 00:15:57,381 the entrance lies where no boy would ever touch." 371 00:15:57,458 --> 00:15:59,038 Where's the one place in a boys' locker room 372 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,665 no one's ever touched? 373 00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:02,920 -(zipping) -(flushing) 374 00:16:05,625 --> 00:16:07,165 Soap dispenser! 375 00:16:09,542 --> 00:16:11,382 What'd I tell you? It's a myth. 376 00:16:11,458 --> 00:16:12,998 (shrieking) 377 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:16,668 (sniffs) 378 00:16:16,750 --> 00:16:19,170 Mmm, now there's a scent 379 00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:22,000 I haven't smelled in some time. 380 00:16:22,083 --> 00:16:26,293 Someone's searching for the golden doctor's note, eh? 381 00:16:26,375 --> 00:16:29,245 -(squeaking) -I don't know what I'm going to do! 382 00:16:29,333 --> 00:16:30,963 I just found out. 383 00:16:31,041 --> 00:16:33,131 (all shouting) 384 00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:35,168 (grunting) 385 00:16:36,041 --> 00:16:37,461 (all) Whoa! 386 00:16:37,542 --> 00:16:38,712 (Julian) The old gym. 387 00:16:38,792 --> 00:16:42,082 Just as I imagined. So dark, so creepy. 388 00:16:42,166 --> 00:16:43,496 So marvelous! 389 00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:45,003 You're a freak. You know that, right? 390 00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:45,963 (giggles) 391 00:16:46,041 --> 00:16:49,831 "Never stray from the course, follow the path across the horse." 392 00:16:49,917 --> 00:16:52,747 Horse? Pommel horses! 393 00:16:52,834 --> 00:16:54,504 Awesome at riddles me! 394 00:16:54,583 --> 00:16:57,043 So, to get out of doing gym stuff, we gotta do gym stuff? 395 00:17:01,375 --> 00:17:04,245 (grumbling) 396 00:17:06,375 --> 00:17:08,455 (grumbling) 397 00:17:10,959 --> 00:17:12,629 -(grunts) -Howard! 398 00:17:12,709 --> 00:17:14,419 (screams) 399 00:17:16,291 --> 00:17:18,791 -Are you okay? -Oh, yeah, I'm fine. 400 00:17:18,875 --> 00:17:20,495 No, I'm not okay! I almost died! 401 00:17:20,583 --> 00:17:22,293 (Julian) How I envy thee. 402 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,825 Death is so cool. 403 00:17:24,917 --> 00:17:26,457 (giggles) Look! 404 00:17:26,542 --> 00:17:29,082 I found an adorable instrument of torture. 405 00:17:30,291 --> 00:17:31,921 Isn't it delightful? 406 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,880 (shrieking) My hat! 407 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,710 Hang on, Julian. 408 00:17:40,875 --> 00:17:43,785 (screaming) 409 00:17:43,875 --> 00:17:46,745 I don't wanna die! Death isn't cool! 410 00:17:46,834 --> 00:17:48,964 I knew Lord Creepy was a fraud. 411 00:17:50,792 --> 00:17:52,132 Ah! 412 00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:56,248 (engine whining) 413 00:17:56,333 --> 00:17:58,293 Come on, Howard. Pull, big fella. 414 00:17:58,375 --> 00:18:00,125 What do you think I'm doing? 415 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:08,330 Any other must-see sights on our Tour de Terror, Julian? 416 00:18:08,417 --> 00:18:09,667 (Randy) Julian? 417 00:18:09,750 --> 00:18:11,750 Julian want a wittle snackie. 418 00:18:11,834 --> 00:18:13,794 I think Julian's gone bye-bye. 419 00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:15,415 This is getting a little too real. 420 00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:17,630 I'll get the notes, you stay with Julian. 421 00:18:17,709 --> 00:18:18,629 (grumbles) 422 00:18:18,709 --> 00:18:21,169 -Hold me! -Yeah, I don't think so. 423 00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:23,000 -Cunningham, wait up. -(moaning) 424 00:18:24,750 --> 00:18:26,040 (sniffing) 425 00:18:26,125 --> 00:18:29,035 Finally. Sheer terror. 426 00:18:29,125 --> 00:18:32,325 Go, go, foul funk, 427 00:18:32,417 --> 00:18:35,077 and destroy the notes. 428 00:18:35,166 --> 00:18:36,956 Be gone! 429 00:18:37,041 --> 00:18:40,541 (evil laughter) 430 00:18:42,417 --> 00:18:44,537 (chuckling) There it is. 431 00:18:44,625 --> 00:18:46,915 That must be where the golden doctor's notes are. 432 00:18:47,041 --> 00:18:49,131 All we gotta do to get out of climbing Green's rope is... 433 00:18:49,208 --> 00:18:50,958 climb a rope. 434 00:18:51,041 --> 00:18:52,421 How's that for irony? 435 00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:55,750 I'll just ninja out, grab the notepad, we'll get Julian and we bounce. 436 00:19:03,083 --> 00:19:05,333 (grunting) 437 00:19:05,417 --> 00:19:06,877 You all dressed? Good. 438 00:19:06,959 --> 00:19:08,959 -'Cause, that! -Whoa. 439 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:13,753 Probably shouldn't have left Julian behind. 440 00:19:13,834 --> 00:19:16,294 (grunting) 441 00:19:16,375 --> 00:19:18,705 Boom. Stuck it! 442 00:19:24,583 --> 00:19:26,793 Ah, sweet ninja, that hurt. 443 00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:27,745 Hey, watch it. 444 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,674 Howard, you can climb a rope? 445 00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:31,130 Of course I can climb a rope. 446 00:19:32,125 --> 00:19:34,205 But we're down here risking our lives 447 00:19:34,291 --> 00:19:35,881 because I thought you couldn't climb a rope. 448 00:19:35,959 --> 00:19:38,539 Well, that's dumb. You should have asked me. 449 00:19:38,625 --> 00:19:40,285 Why wouldn't I be able to climb a rope? 450 00:19:40,375 --> 00:19:42,705 (gasping) It's because you think I'm... 451 00:19:42,792 --> 00:19:45,382 No! No, no, no. No, it's not that. 452 00:19:45,458 --> 00:19:49,578 You're perfect exactly the way you are. 453 00:19:49,667 --> 00:19:52,077 Don't patronize me, Ninja. Go on, say it. Go ahead. 454 00:19:52,166 --> 00:19:54,036 You have tiny hands, all right? 455 00:19:54,125 --> 00:19:56,665 I knew it! And I prefer delicate. 456 00:19:56,750 --> 00:19:58,290 Yo, that almost hit me. 457 00:19:59,792 --> 00:20:04,212 "The best way to avoid an attack is to avoid an attack." 458 00:20:04,291 --> 00:20:06,171 Ninja, avoid the attack. 459 00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:07,290 (grunts) 460 00:20:07,375 --> 00:20:09,375 Climb, climb, climb. 461 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,828 Stop yelling at me! 462 00:20:13,083 --> 00:20:14,383 Jackpot. 463 00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:18,955 (gurgling) 464 00:20:20,417 --> 00:20:21,457 Yah! 465 00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:33,920 I got the notes. 466 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,790 (screaming) 467 00:20:35,875 --> 00:20:37,495 Whoa, boy. 468 00:20:40,333 --> 00:20:42,043 And I broke the office. 469 00:20:44,291 --> 00:20:46,081 (grunts) 470 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,580 No! No! 471 00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:52,417 Hey! I climbed up a rope to get those. 472 00:20:54,542 --> 00:20:56,542 -Stop him, Ninja. -Okay. 473 00:20:56,625 --> 00:20:58,285 -Stop him! -I said okay! 474 00:20:58,375 --> 00:20:59,575 Gotta de-stank him. 475 00:20:59,667 --> 00:21:01,917 There must be something he holds dear. 476 00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:06,080 The hat! Totally figured it out. 477 00:21:13,250 --> 00:21:14,170 (shrieking) 478 00:21:18,208 --> 00:21:20,128 One note left. 479 00:21:20,208 --> 00:21:21,748 Don't mind if I do. 480 00:21:21,834 --> 00:21:23,334 Ninja Hat Punch. 481 00:21:26,542 --> 00:21:28,792 No, no, no! 482 00:21:28,875 --> 00:21:31,205 My chaos. Where's the misery? 483 00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:33,671 Where's the suffering? 484 00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:35,170 (squeaking) 485 00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:41,330 Mr. Wienerman. The wipple beckons. 486 00:21:41,417 --> 00:21:44,247 (chuckles) I don't think so, Coach G. 487 00:21:44,333 --> 00:21:46,083 Wait. There's something I need to tell you. 488 00:21:46,166 --> 00:21:49,326 I know, you're sorry you almost got me killed 489 00:21:49,417 --> 00:21:52,077 and completely insulted me by assuming I couldn't climb a rope. 490 00:21:52,166 --> 00:21:54,126 Well, yeah, that. But also... 491 00:21:54,208 --> 00:21:55,708 Shhh! 492 00:21:55,792 --> 00:21:57,332 We're good. 493 00:21:57,417 --> 00:21:59,747 All that matters is that I'm not going up that rope. 494 00:21:59,834 --> 00:22:03,004 -About that. -Read it and weep, Green. 495 00:22:03,709 --> 00:22:06,169 Ten percent off a Charlie Cluckers chicken bucket. 496 00:22:06,250 --> 00:22:07,420 Is this a bribe? 497 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,500 What? Gimme that! 498 00:22:09,583 --> 00:22:10,833 -♪ Charlie's ♪ -(chicken crowing) 499 00:22:10,917 --> 00:22:13,747 What have you done? 500 00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:15,504 Well, Julian shared his map, 501 00:22:15,583 --> 00:22:17,883 and he really fell apart down there. 502 00:22:17,959 --> 00:22:19,419 So, I figured since you can climb a rope... 503 00:22:19,500 --> 00:22:21,880 Stop talking! We're not good anymore. 504 00:22:21,959 --> 00:22:23,999 Don't worry. I have a new plan. 505 00:22:24,083 --> 00:22:27,883 The best way to avoid an attack is to avoid an attack. 506 00:22:28,667 --> 00:22:31,207 (all shouting) 507 00:22:31,291 --> 00:22:32,961 Follow my lead! 508 00:22:33,917 --> 00:22:36,077 Swing, guys, swing. 509 00:22:36,166 --> 00:22:38,036 Climb, Howard, climb. 510 00:22:38,125 --> 00:22:41,035 New strategy. Pound the nerds. 511 00:22:41,834 --> 00:22:43,754 (Bash) Hit that little guy! 512 00:22:43,834 --> 00:22:45,424 -(Randy) Run! -Huh. 513 00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:47,250 Climbing ropes ain't so bad. 514 00:22:47,333 --> 00:22:48,793 (giggles) 515 00:22:48,875 --> 00:22:52,245 (groans) But I have the note! 516 00:22:52,333 --> 00:22:56,083 (sad trombone) 517 00:22:56,667 --> 00:23:01,377 (theme music playing) 36340

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