Original subtitles

Don't‐‐get out!

(keyboard clacking)

(chuckles)

(phone chimes)

(phone dings)

(keyboard clacking)

(phone dings)

(keyboard clacking)

(chill techno music)

♪ ♪

Yeah, you should come on Tuesdays.

Has an open mic I try to do every week.

‐Wow. ‐Yeah.

You...let me guess, you...sing.

‐Yeah. ‐Yes!

‐I'm really bad. ‐(both laugh)

I always wanted to be a musician growing up,

but was too lazy to learn the guitar.

WENDY: Classic.

So the open mic just forces me to practice.

Yeah.

I like that. (chuckles)

So you're gonna serenade me later, right?

Ooh, I don't know. On the first date?

Just kidding. Please don't. (laughs)

PARKER: Well, I can‐‐I mean, I can if you want me to.

That would be so horrifically uncomfortable.

I mean, I'm easy. I'm not that easy.

Good morning. (laughs)

Good morning.

What time is it?

Oh, I don't know. Let me check.

It's a quarter after 9:00.

Ooh, shit!

I was supposed to be at work 15 minutes ago.

‐Oh, jeez. ‐Oh, shit.

I can get dressed super quick. No problem.

Yeah, I gotta call you an Uber.

‐Is it actually‐‐shit, it is. ‐Okay, yeah.

‐Sorry about this. ‐WENDY: The worst.

‐Yeah. ‐WENDY: Yeah, sorry.

This was brutal.

That's okay.

Okay. Thank you for this. (laughs)

I will get out of your hair.

Do you...

maybe wanna hang out this week, or...

‐Yeah. ‐The next one?

Yeah, sure I do.

Cool. Okay. I will talk to you later.

All right. I'll see you later.

‐WENDY: Bye. ‐See ya.

(sighs)

(sighs)

(phone chimes)

Yeah, it forces me to practice.

Because I like to learn new things,

but if I don't challenge myself,

I'll never stick with 'em.

Well, then it just starts to feel like work,

and then I'm like, no, thank you,

and I'd rather just have a wine.

Oh, I took a sommelier course a while back.

I had this great wine from Argentina.

You have to try it sometime.

I love Argentina.

(chuckles)

(snoring lightly)

(keyboard clacking)

(phone rings)

‐Oh. ‐Oh, hey. Sorry.

I just got called in last minute

for this work thing.

‐(groaning) ‐Here you go.

And there's‐‐here's your black thing there, too.

‐There you go. ‐Oh.

All right, that was fun...

Argentina?

It's fine.

‐Bye. ‐Bye.

(sighs)

(phone chimes)

Even if we say, "Hey, we're charging you

with crimes against humanity,"

we don't have the jurisdiction,

and their military certainly isn't gonna...

I'm boring you, aren't I?

‐No. ‐No. No, it's boring.

Seriously, it's not.

I was this close to going to law school.

Why didn't you?

I wanted to do something creative.

SOFIA: And what do you do now?

Oh, I just ended up back and forth between things.

Hmm.

(upbeat music)

There's a great open mic here I like doing.

I can't sing.

‐Neither can I. ‐(laughs)

(dishes clattering)

SOFIA: Hey.

You went all‐out.

Yeah, I woke up early,

so I figured I'd make breakfast.

I had fruit?

(laughs)

Oh!

Wow.

So you're super smart, you're super funny,

you're super successful.

You're a killer chef, too?

‐Who are you? ‐(laughs)

What time is it?

Do you have everything?

Fuck you.

Yeah.

(sighs)

(phone dings)

(phone chimes)

Whoa. What the fuck?

(phone dings)

(relaxed techno music)

(laughter and chatter)

♪ ♪

Sorry I'm late.

Were you waiting long?

Whoa!

I didn't know you had a twin, Parker.

Oh, we're not twins.

We're on a date.

And that would be incest.

(laughs) He's funny.

I love this bar.

They've got this great beer that's brewed by monks‐‐

I know that.

‐This is my bar. ‐No way.

Do you ever come during the open mics?

I try to play guitar here once in a while.

I always wanted to be a musician growing up,

but was too lazy to learn the guitar, so‐‐

Can you just stop with the

"Look at how creative and driven I am"

canned story bullshit for a second?

What do you mean?

Who are you?

Some days, I'm not sure, but...

I think I'm figuring it out.

Like when I was traveling in Italy and France

and a took a sommelier course.

I never thought I could grow‐‐

You're not even listening.

Can you just talk to me like a real person?

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What makes you think that I'm not being real?

Because I know exactly what you're‐‐

because I know exactly what you're doing.

(laughs)

This is fucked. I don't know what this is.

Why am I sitting here talking to myself?

(laughs)

This is fu...

Hey‐‐no, no‐‐

hey, do you wanna come back to my place?

I've got this fantastic‐‐

BOTH: Wine from Argentina, and I could show you

a thing or two on that guitar I was talking about.

Wow. Exactly.

Like, I can't believe how in tune we are.

(sighs)

Breathe.

Oh!

Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.

How the hell did you get in here?

Uh... I live here?

You have a really quirky sense of humor.

I like it.

Okay, I'm serious, dude. You need to get the fuck out.

Oh.

Okay. I'm sorry.

Thought we were having a good time.

Oh, no, I'm not pressuring you to have wine or anything.

I'm just trying to be a good host.

You can say no.

I just want you to go.

Okay. I will.

Can you just tell me what I did wrong?

Because I feel like I've been nice about everything,

and I'm a little confused as to why you're so angry.

Parker, you are so full of shit.

Whoa. Whoa.

The guitar thing and the wine thing,

it's all bullshit.

Everything you say is bullshit

because I know for a fact

that you're nothing but a fucking loser.

Come here, Parker.

Come here.

‐Ah, dude! What the fuck? ‐What?

There is something deeply wrong with you, you know that?

Whoa, you were throwing all these mixed signals,

so I just thought‐‐I was‐‐

(both grunting)

Get off!

Get off me! Get off!

Why are you acting so crazy?

(screams)

(glass shatters)

(gasps)

(soft music)

♪ ♪