Original subtitles

My Friends

Perozzi's job as a news editor ends at this hour,

then he gets out of his office to go home.

Oh! Perozzi is me.

Thanks, doctor.

I'm so used to be called "Perozzi" by my colleagues and friends

that I've almost forgotten my first name is Giorgio.

- Hi, Perozzi! - Hi.

Black coffee laced with Fernet. "Branca", please!

"Prostitutes brutally slaughtered by gangs of armed queers!"

"They're dying like flies: 4 in Turin, 2 in Florence and 18 in Lombardy!"

"Panic among the pimps!"

Enough, Perozzi! How can you feel like joking at this time of the day?

"Barkeepers who pick their own nose have licence revoked!"

Give me three packs of cigarettes too.

Come on, Wanda, I'll take you home.

Thanks. I'm waiting for my friend. He'll take me home today.

A glass of hot milk and two brioches.

The fresh ones haven't been delivered yet.

Let's go to the baker's near the station. Those should be ready by now.

Thanks, but I'm tired. I'll go home.

- Yesterday's will do. - Alright.

What's wrong Perozzi? Can't you find your way home today?

If you feel lonely, I can keep you company,

even if I'm off duty. You'll pay half price.

Let him go to sleep! Can't you see he's tired? He's just finished working.

- Well, so have I! - Sorry, Italia, but maybe he's right. Bye all.

I'd better go to sleep.

But I don't feel like it.

The idea of locking myself up at home after spending the night at work

depresses me.

And then it's true. Today I don't feel like being alone.

I really need someone to laugh with, to speak to,

but not a whore.

A friend. Yes, my friends. I'd really like to see them, to be with them.

But at this hour, all I can do is go home.

Perozzi's son is back! Yes, that's his car.

Only Perozzi's son can put a raincoat on his car.

No. I can't stand him,

especially on a day like this.

When I think about my own flesh and blood,

I suddenly turn into a vegetarian.

What now?

They'll surely be sleeping right now.

However...

I should meet at least one of them. Birillo is certainly out peeing already.

Birillo, my goodness!

Slow down, Birillo!

- Hey! - Hey!

- Where are you going? - Who knows? Ask him.

What are your plans for today?

In the morning I have to inspect some council houses

and I'll meet the building commission at the Town Hall at five. Why?

Because today I feel like a gypsy.

What a day! Who knows when we'll have a day like this again.

- I'd like to leave. - Then, I'll leave with you.

I'll send the surveyor to do the inspection and fuck the commission.

Good!

Birillo!

Damn you!

Wait for me in Beccaria Square.

Put a brioche on the seat and keep a door open, so we'll trap him!

What if he slept outside and told his wife he was with us?

We'll tell her: "It's true, Lice. Your husband is with us".

"Go back to sleep and don't worry".

Quick!

Hurry up! Come on!

Lello!

Hush!

Where are you going this time?

Oh, God! What happened?

Lello!

- At least tell me where you're going! - I can't.

- Will you tell me what's happening? - I'll tell you tomorrow.

Later.

Bye!

Lello!

- So she fell for it again! - She fell for it? She believes it!

What else could she do? The poor martyr...

With everything I do to her!

They only have two onions left for today's lunch.

Better this way. If they're worried they won't get hungry.

Who's there?

Gypsies!

- Not again! Oh, God! - Not again? One month's passed by!

Where are you going? When are you coming back?

- We're gypsies: no destination and no future. - Come on, madam, wake him up!

But it's seven o'clock! He was very tired. He came home late last night.

Tired? Of what?

Carmen, I'll take a token.

- I have no money! - Here.

Call Sassaroli in Pescia and tell him to get ready.

Don't tell me that coffee's for him?

Otherwise he'll be nervous all day.

What do you care? He'll stay with us!

Just a moment!

Here! That's better, isn't it?

- Busy! - Who, Sassaroli?

No, not him! I wonder whom that whore's speaking to at this hour!

Don't give up! There's time.

If you don't want me to go, I won't go!

I'll stay here.

Go! Go!

And today the labourer's sick too.

- Will you make it all alone? - Don't worry.

Then hurry up, they're waiting for me!

Have you hooted?

You hooted?

No. Oh, yes! I've lightly touched it with my elbow.

It's a very sensitive horn. Look, a slight touch and...

With the elbow too.

Sometimes I just graze it this way.

- That's impossible. - Try it!

Show me!

See?

Mine is stiff. If I want to hoot, I have to...

What are you writing? Give it a try A finger is enough, see?

Tapioco therapy!

Is the super-dicock premature or are we joking here?

- Sorry? - No, allow me.

I... no, sorry, we are four.

As if it were antani for you too, just in two or also in four, scribai with cofandina.

- Like an antitheft alarm, for example. - Antitheft my foot!

These gentlemen were hooting. Mind your own business.

Wait, give me your finger. Here, lift it up this way. Look!

See the finger? It's provoking, and premature too.

I could also tell you, with due respect for the authority

only two things like the DEPUTY MAYOR, understand?

Deputy mayor?

- Enough, follow me to the precinct! - No, wait!

No, wait, antani according to emendament 12. Have patience, otherwise...

Posterdati for two, also a little antani in the PREFECTURE.

Not counting the premature super.dickola,

which has lost contact with the tapioco therapy.

- What's happening, Paolini? - Nothing! Hi, Necchi.

- Hi! - Hi! These gentlemen feel like playing.

Are they friends of yours?

Of course. They were hooting to call me. Just a little, like this.

Come on, let it slide.

Officer Paolini, you've always been reasonable.

I'll close an eye, but I'm not an idiot.

Good, Paolini!

Necchi, don't you dare interfere when I'm playing the super-dickola.

- If it wasn't for me, he'd have called a tow truck. - Oh, shut up.

- Shut up, prick! He was falling for it! - Sure.

It was working perfectly, we got him in our grasp!

You got your dicks in your grasp! They'd already caught you, before.

- It never happened! - How about that master builder who broke your nose?

Bella figlia dell'amore.

Schiavo son dei vezzi tuoi.

Le mie pene, le mie pene consolar.

Here we are, the four of us, like many times before.

There's also a fifth: Sassaroli, we'll pick him up in Pescia,

but that's a different matter. The four of us are the main group:

schoolmates and fellow soldiers, therefore friends for a lifetime.

Here they are: my friends. My dear friends.

Bella figlia dell'amore.

Schiavo son dei vezzi tuoi.

- Stop! - What?

- A phone booth! - Come on!

- What are you doing? - Gypsies never phone!

I had a date with Titti. I have to tell her.

- You tried to call her for half an hour. - Right.

It was busy.

And I'd also like to know why.

I'll tell you why. She was busy too, too, too...

- Where are you going? - I turned left.

What's on the left?

The hell if I know. Gypsies turn wherever they want.

This means being gypsies.

This is the "gypsy thing": we leave with no destination and no purpose.

Our journey can last one or two days, or a week.

Once it lasted twenty days,

except for a couple of hitches.

Here, brake.

Help!

- Have you got a room for four? - With a bath!

- My shoulder, oh my! - My goodness! Assassin!

Mommy dear! Call a priest!

One of the best times of our lives started that way:

the four of us in the same room out of town.

Far away from our wives, lovers, business, and with a whole hospital at our disposal.

It was about time!

- I've seen the Virgin Mary! - I want the chaplain!

- The bedpan! - The chaplain! - Virgin Mary!

- You've called me four times already! - Sister?

- With the tapioco therapy as if... - I've seen the Virgin Mary!

- I want the chaplain, the chaplain...! - I've seen the Virgin Mary!

- Enough! - I've seen the Virgin Mary!

The other people are really sick here!

Tomorrow you'll settle it with the doctor!

Unhooded?

The long, long, long, long shits...

...run and melt.

They need a bedpan...

...from the sister.

The long, long, long, long shits...

In the end the doctor gave us such powerful sedatives

that we slept all night like babies.

So, the day after we woke up fresh and rested.

Ready to start again.

Well, at this point...

The long, long, long, long shits...

...run and melt. They need a bedpan...

...from the sister.

Be warned:

either you end up this buffoonery, or I'll separate you.

I'll send you all to different floors and wards.

Who wanted the bedpan?

He did!

There's nothing to laugh about.

Cholesterol at 630, glycemia at 3,2.

First off, no more cigars!

0,4 gallons of 3% B6 solution.

Who saw the Virgin Mary?

He did!

Bipolar electroencephalogram.

And who asked for the chaplain?

Well, Call Father Ulrico.

And you, what's wrong with you?

Professor, you won't believe it.

Antani like a traction for two, even if it were a tarred super-dickola.

It's unhooked towards the right.

I see.

Three doses of Afasol, one hour long each.

Immediately!

The fuck is this?!

There's still half an hour to go! Enjoy it!

No! No! What are you doing?

That's not a rubber syringe! I want my lawyer!

Repent, therefore, of your wickedness,

because you're a slave to evil

and eternal darkness awaits you.

- When did you see the Virgin Mary? - Before fainting.

A vision.

Couldn't it be one of our nuns?

No. She wasn't wearing either a uniform...

...or a blue dress. She had a fur on.

Close your eyes.

Stay calm! What are you doing?

Where does that corridor lead?

To the psychiatrist's. Why? Calm down.

I can't! I have seen the Virgin Mary! Again!

What are you doing? Those rings are all crooked.

Should we call Giotto to draw a target?

I'm not crazy! I wasn't hallucinating!

She exists! The most beautiful woman I've ever seen! Look!

- Quick or she'll leave! There she is! - Nice piece of ass.

- Not bad! - Ass? She's Laura! She's Beatrice!

Didn't Laura and Beatrice have an ass? They did!

What Laura! What Beatrice! She's Cleopatra!

- He fell! - Are you okay?

Who told her? Here!

Hello, Miss? I'm Perozzi, room 31.

Someone with a beige dress, curly hair and three roses will ask about me.

Yes. Tell her I'm very sick.

That visits are forbidden, and I can't see anybody.

- What do you think? - Long thighs, like an antelope.

Well, she has a defect though...

What is it?

She messes with that Nazi Head of the Physician.

- Where's he taking her? - Where? Where I'll go in a moment. Look!

That's a pig, besides being a torturer.

He takes advantage of his position to harass his poor patients.

I'll report him to the police!

What are you saying? They're married.

She's the professor's wife. She's undergoing psychiatric treatment.

For Melandri it was love at first sight as usual,

which usually involves the rest of us too.

When Melandri falls in love he becomes an unbearable dead weight.

Macaroni pie! Delicious!

Aren't you joining us? It's awfully good, Necchi's wife made it.

Of course not.

Shall we play target-shooting spitting at the ceiling? You'll get distracted.

- Not while we're eating. - No, thanks.

- Sorry guys, I can't make it. - No! I'm the one who can't make it!

I can't stand him anymore! We can't go on living with a corpse.

I want to change hospital, or at least ward!

I'd rather stay with the leper than with an asshole.

Calm down! Sit down!

Let's have a look at this situation.

Typical threesome: him, her and the other one.

Well, he's a piece of shit who deserves to be cheated on.

- She's... - A nice piece of ass.

Regarding the other man, I've been wondering for a long time:

why does he always give up so soon?

Because she is too beautiful, unreachable.

And he's an important man, with a strong personality and charisma!

- What can I hope for? - Nothing.

Nothing, I agree.

In fact, if you weren't a jerk but a horse, your odds would be 1 on 200.

And I would win,

because Melandri has an advantage:

the shrink.

Who?

The headshrinker, the psychoanalyst.

If a woman goes to the psychoanalyst, there's something missing in her life.

And what does a woman miss in her life 99 times out of 100?

Love!

Intravenous, sister? I'm ready.

One and five!

Hello? May I talk to the lady?

Oh, it's you. Who am I?

You look and act like an educated person.

You'll certainly remember Homer and his Odyssey.

Madam, my name is Nobody!

- I'm such a badass! - No! I think it was too brainy.

It was a masterpiece!

It's a shame. What do you want to achieve?

Leave it to us!

Nothing affects a woman more than eight or ten phone calls a day.

- Yes, 8 or 10 fucks. - Don't count on me.

- This is a scam! Deception! - Keep quiet!

Hello? Yes, it's me again. No, I don't want anything.

I only needed to hear your voice again! Thank you!

Hello? It's me.

Tapioco therapy as if it were antani with a premature super-dicock,

unhooded towards the right. Of course you don't understand, I'm talking nonsense!

When I think about your well-shaped thighs, I go crazy.

Please, thoroughly describe your nipples...

- What are you doing? Pig! - What am I doing? Working, so let me work!

- Putting my two cents in. - Your dirty cents!

To each his own.

One cannot always flirt as you do! Let's give her a few sexual strokes.

Why don't you give them to Titti, ugly pig?

I do, I do!

Material and prosaic, that's what you are!

Who was the first she treated with familiarity? Me.

But who made her weep? Necchi did. When I said:

"Bid me not to call you anymore, and I shall obey".

She sobbed in this ear for an hour.

Because you didn't hear her moan in my ear.

- What kind of moan? - A lust one.

When I told her: "I'd lick you from head to toe".

- When was it? - Yesterday, from the public phone in the hallway.

You wouldn't let me call her from here!

- Because you're a pig who wouldn't understand her! - You think they're all the same!

Yes! Let me work and you'll see.

We're almost there.

- Where? - The phone wank.

- I hope you're joking. - Not at all. I'll show you at once.

- Here, in front of us? - Alright, I'll use the public phone.

Hey, what's he doing?

Hello? It's me.

Love, love, my love!

Enough! I must meet you. Yes.

If you agree as well, tell me where and when.

Alright.

She said no, didn't she?

- She said yes. - Where? - When?

You think I'm going to tell you? You think I'm an idiot, don't you?

Melandri escaped on April 23rd at 8:40 PM.

We watched him leave, secretly hoping that he'd screw it up.

We counted on the shock she would get seeing Melandri,

whose aspect we had carefully avoided to describe her.

Hello? It's me.

I knew it.

I should have kept being only a voice. Goodbye.

Wait! Why?

Why? I frightened you so much that you broke a glass!

As if I was King Kong.

Not at all.

I'm sorry. I'm a little nervous.

Me too. I'm knotted like a pretzel.

You've invited me to dinner, if I'm not wrong.

Well...

...have a seat.

Sit down.

- Do you mind if I keep the... - No, but...

- On the phone you weren't so formal. - You're right, but...

I don't know why, but everything feels different now.

So it does to me.

So...

What do we start with?

How about a seafood appetizer?

I mean how do we start to know each other better.

- Sorry, I'm a little... - I don't even know your name.

You never wanted to tell me your name.

- Architect Rambaldo Melandri. - Pleased to meet you.

After that night we didn't see each other.

We let him stew in his own juice, like every time he fell in love.

We tried to go back to our usual lives,

after the car accident which had left marks on us all.

Marks that I decided to exaggerate a little

to break up with a certain person in an elegant way.

Someone who had started to say eerie things such as:

"I would need that you needed me so much".

It's 800.

Therefore, I emphasised a little the after-effects of my fractures.

Wait for me, my love! This hump prevents me from running as I used to.

Come on, the train is leaving.

- I can't... - I'll take it.

- Bruna! Bruna! - Yes!

- Get back soon, my kitty, as soon as you can. - Yes.

You know how much I need you.

My sister needs me too. As soon as she recovers I'll...

She will, you'll see. My hump brings good luck. You're not trying to get rid of me, are you?

- What are you saying, Giorgio? - I've got a bad feeling about this.

See, madam,

besides the hump, hunchbacks get kind of a sixth sense.

- All right, bye. - Bye bye!

The bad feeling proved true. I never saw her again.

Since I was a hunchback, I stayed a hunchback till I got home,

but I hadn't considered my son.

I never remember if he teaches in Milan on the odd days

and here in Florence on the even days, or vice versa.

On which Sunday he stays with me or visits his mother.

In any case, he always shows up when I'm not expecting him.

Dad!

- Don't worry, Luciano. - How couldn't I, with a dad like you?

He didn't believe it for a second.

He is smart, no doubt, but he lacks sense of humour.

Don't think you can do to me what you did to mum.

You made her go crazy.

When will you grow up, dad, and stop acting like an idiot?

I wondered if I was the idiot, treating life like a game,

or him, who lived it like an hard labor sentence.

Or if we were both idiots.

Necchi, on the other hand, found out his right arm still hurt

when he made specific movements,

above all when he had to stick stamps on football pools coupons.

Ouch! The professor told me:

"Total recovery. You can make any movement except pressing your thumbs".

Just what I need to do, unlucky me.

Leave it to me. We'll hire someone else for Saturdays.

I can't do it. It hurts.

Mascetti was busy with a delicate financial operation.

100.000? Are you crazy?

We're talking the whole leg here, not just the little toe!

- It's the right leg too. - I know, so what?

Look. The cast is up to the knee.

It's blocked.

- Here, up to the ankle. - But it can be unblocked.

- Are you serious? - It can just be unblocked!

Why do you care? It's already been evaluated by the insurance.

With such a leg you'll get at least 800.000.

Here is the assessment. Give me 200.000 cash, and the leg is yours.

- Why, what good is it? - Then I'll go to another usurer.

In the end he sold the rights on his leg to a greengrocer from Candeli

who gave him 330 lbs of potatoes and a 1959 Oldsmobile

which even a car-wrecker would have refused,

but made Mascetti self-confident,

as he thought it could widen his turnover.

No news from Melandri,

until one day Mascetti summoned us to Pescia with great urgence.

- Too late. - Why?

- Why is it too late? - Because he got in long ago.

- Who? - Melandri. There.

There where?

He got into the Nazi's villa... the doctor's.

- I came to sell him an encyclopaedia. - And then?

And then I saw Melandri's car approaching.

I hid back here and saw him get off all suited up,

with a collared coat and a bow tie...

Great Scott, he went to tell her husband! Come here, go on!

I called you at once because he's going to ruin his life. We have to do something.

- What can we do? - Calm down, guys!

- Calm down my ass! - You know her husband, don't you?

You know he's a beast. Then let him settle it, light and easy.

He'll peel off his skin and make a lampshade out of it.

We were making a bad miscalculation.

If this was a sophisticated comedy instead of a drama,

at this point the protagonist would tell the antagonist:

"Professor, I came to ask your wife's hand in marriage".

Is that all?

Yes. No! Let me add that in front of you there's a man who's ready for anything.

- Even taking the beast? - Sorry?

That thing there.

Donatella's dog. She loves him a lot.

His name is Birillo.

Of course I'll take him.

He eats 2 lbs of ground meat a day, 2.5 lbs of rice

and every day he needs to be walked out at 5 AM or he floods the house.

I don't care about these details!

Let's discuss serious things, instead. Important things.

- Let's talk about your daughters. - Let's.

Since you're so comprehensive and civilized,

I appeal to your good heart

so that Donatella can see her creatures. Regularly.

At least once every two weeks.

No?

- Here's the blackmail, I knew it. - No, you misunderstand me.

I said no because I'm the one who will come to see the creatures at your place.

Maybe not once every two weeks, but we'll come to an agreement.

Then, you...

Of course.

See, this is a whole chain of affections that neither you nor I can break.

You love my wife.

My wife is attached to Birillo.

Birillo adores the children.

The children are devoted to the governess.

The governess?

German, two-year contract, very strict, in uniform.

I mean, who takes Donatella has to take the whole package.

We knew we had lost him and we didn't look for him anymore.

We preferred to remember him alive.

We only received third-hand and fourth-hand news,

occasionally and more and more tragic.

Where are you going?

Come here!

Here!

But on a rainy night the lost sheep returned to the fold.

Good evening, you all.

It's been a while, huh?

- How are you? Are you well? - We are. - So and so.

Such bad weather!

I'm so cold and damp.

- How about some punch? Shall I heat up...? - No, I'm fine thanks.

How about a game?

We've just started. We'll play in couples.

- You and Mascetti vs. me and Perozzi. - Good, you'll warm up.

Pick your usual cue and go for the opening shot.

Here's the cue ball. Shoot well, alright?

So, guys. What's up?

How are you?

- Well. - Good!

How's the lady? The children? The doggie?

- Very well. - Very well my ass!

What kind of opening is that? You missed a lot of pins!

My hand shakes.

Let's take off the mask, guys.

I can't take it anymore.

I want to kill that filthy beast!

- The dog? - Not the dog! The husband!

Fuck him and his pewter coasters.

- Coasters? - The ones he has, while I don't.

It's always the same: he comes and goes, eats and sleeps at my place.

And he criticizes, he makes comparisons.

I'm always on trial, I'm depressed.

The other night he even fucked the maid!

- Wow! - Yes!

- What a fellow. - I'd have never conceived that.

Because he's inconceivable! He's a devil.

Guys, help me.

Tomorrow he'll come back. Join us for dinner.

I wouldn't make it by myself, but the four of us together, like in the good old days...

Someone makes a joke, someone else a cutting remark...

We've ruined so many people! Together we'll destroy him!

Bella figlia dell'amore.

Schiavo son dei vezzi tuoi.

Le mie pene, le mie pene consolar.

- Bravo, dad! - Great! Beautiful voice.

Rambaldo?

Dinner's ready! Take seats.

- Please... - Good!

- To my left. - Thanks.

- That's your seat. - Thanks, madam.

- Please - You're very kind. - This is my seat.

Well? Wasn't dinner ready?

- Just a moment! The jacket! - It was about time!

Finally!

- Isn't the maid here? - We have hired a new one part-time.

She sleeps at her place.

- Wine? - Yes, please.

- Watch out for the drop! - Oh! Too late!

- Why don't you get pewter coasters? - That's true.

You know them, don't you?

- They're so handy! You put them under the glasses... - Please!

No pewter coasters allowed in this house.

Am I correct, architect?

Surgeon, why don't you cut yourself a piece of meat pie before claiming it got cold?

This should be a meat pie?

Yes sir!

Well, the architect is right. It doesn't look like one.

It couldn't be more deformed that. It looks like a failure!

My friend, in this house substance matters more than form.

Speaking of which...

4.5 lbs less.

- What are you talking about? - The children.

I have weighed them as soon as I've arrived.

You too, Donatella, you're wasting away.

- Wasting away? - You look five years older!

I mean, don't you go out, don't you do sports?

- Don't you ride? - She does ride... Tell him!

Every two weeks.

- It's like not riding at all. - It's worse!

- Just enough time to enter the stable! - You should ride more often, Rambaldo.

The children look pale too. Doesn't he take them skiing?

What are you talking about? Ski, horses, seaside... pewter coasters!

I don't even remember what they're like anymore!

A new pair of shoes for school are already a problem!

I always do my best! But it's never enough!

- My love! Sweetie pie, I don't... - You!

Me what?

I do the impossible! Why are you blaming me?

You're no longer the amazing man you were on the phone!

- Of course, it was us on the... - Shut up!

And then, you bit off more than you could chew!

Stop it!

Stop making such a scene! Now go and wash your face!

Don't get back unless you calmed down. March!

Why do you let her treat you like this?

- In front of guests! - Sweetie pie.

- In front of the children. - Sweetie pie!

Speaking of the children...

Why are you still up?

Off to bed, jump to it!

- Yes, daddy! - Bye, daddy!

Good night, daddy.

What kind of family is this? What kind of head of the family are you?

He's not so wrong.

Daddy, I'm going to smash your head in!

Put it down!

- Let go of me! - Stop it!

- Knife! - It isn't sharp, it's for the fish.

- We have fish too? - Yeah, frozen.

Crook! You dumped a crazy woman on me! A megalomaniac!

You met her at the psychiatrist's! What were you expecting?

And what do you want from me?

Let go of me!

- It's over. Now vent, all right? - Don't act like this, sweetie pie.

- Give him some water. - No! Whisky.

Ungrateful!

She's so ungrateful.

I couldn't do more for her.

I've even started to freelance again.

- I've designed five family crypts. - Wow!

- I've sacrificed everything! - Come on now.

Don't think about it.

- Shall we go out? - No.

Do you want us to walk you out to pee?

- No. - No!

What could we do for you? I know!

Let's go to the station.

- Yes! Good idea! - Yes, he needs that.

To do what?

It's none of your business. Just help us convince Melandri.

That's easy! Dear Melandri, listen to your doctor.

Diagnosis: you can't go on with such a woman.

- Cure: break up! - But how?

- Just leave. Sneak out. - Of course.

- Where's your coat? - Upstairs.

- Never mind. Let's go. - Be careful.

Hush!

Come on.

- How should I face her? - Why do you care?

- What should I tell her? - Nothing, just leave and disappear.

- How will they make ends meet? - She's so beautiful, she'll find another idiot.

- Will she? - Don't waste time.

But I...

- But I love her! - Hush! She'll hear you!

- That's a trivial matter. - And it won't last forever.

I've suffered terribly too, for almost 45 minutes.

- Go ahead, come on! - Be quiet down the stairs.

Quiet, let's go.

- Have a safe trip, sir! -Ouch! What's going on?!

- Help! - Go fuck yourself!

Nobody move, that one's mine!

Are you crazy?

Dad!

Are you always leaving? He's always in my way!

Come on guys, the train to Empoli leaves from platform 3.

- To platform three! - Come, professor.

Whose idea was it?

It feels so good to be with you guys, among men!

We should have been born gay!

Here.

Sister, check if it's a blue car.

Yes.

- Back to the ward. Let's delay. - Why?

Unlace! Because I have a more urgent case. This one can wait.

- I'm going to get him. - Yes, otherwise he'll never come.

Sister! I need professor Sassaroli to come down. Every minute is precious.

Excuse me, which of the three phones is tapioco therapy,

so I can warn the super-dicock? Which one?

You don't understand me? Which one has an area code?

- Ah! That one. - Thanks.

Sister? With the tapioco therapy as if it were antani, the stretcher,

even for two, unhooded towards left?

No? Doesn't mater.

- Hello, Titti? Where the fuck were you? - Enough! There's no time for that!

Let me speak to her!

Speak to her? Wasn't this a gypsy thing?

Now that I've found her... let me speak to her.

Come on! It's late!

The demolition of small towns was Necchi's invention.

With this kind of ideas he's better than Guglielmo Marconi.

This one looks perfect. Did you bring the stuff?

As always. Come on, guys! Help me.

- Give me the tripod! - Here it is, engineer!

It has to pass through here!

- Shall I get the tools? - Pronto, surveyor.

I'm ready, engineer!

Goniometre, theodolite, levels and shafts! This side, tear everything down.

- An overpass to the south! - The map.

We'll have to raze two hills to the ground.

Bring me a ruler to edit the map!

Excuse me! Decametre unhooded towards the right. Here!

- Is the level ready? - We're taking measures with theodolite.

- Hurry with those shafts! - Yes, engineer!

- Measurement! - Give it back to me.

- Shafts set. - How long?

- 26 feet and 3 inches! - 383!

- Shall we begin? - Yes. Mark the houses to be demolished.

- Alright. - What are they doing?

- 114! - 114!

Here and here! Total demolition.

No bulldozers nor dynamite. TNT!

- Please, go away. Let us work. - Move!

Calm down.

Please!

That's enough!

The church is set too. Sorry counselor: District directives.

Allow me...

Make sure somebody will take care of the future homeless:

tents, rations, antibiotics, blankets and above all lots of umbrellas.

- Let's go! - Load completed.

Why do I always have to sit in the middle?

Look at the priest!

What's going on? Who are you?

Don't you know, reverend? The Broom Highway will pass through here.

Right through here.

Down there we'll build a junction to the eastern bypass. District orders.

Mother of God...

Quick, ring the bells! The bells!

- There! Look at that one! - Which one?

The one bending over. My God, look at that!

Guys, I'm looking, however we're acting like savages.

We don't even consider them as objects, they're like zoo animals to us.

Especially that chick with the ponytail.

- Where? - The one on the left.

Stiff ass, let me pass!

- Shall we have lunch? - Alright.

Shall we go to the Ramaiolo's here or up to Biagio's in Pistoia?

As if I can make it to Pistoia! I'll go to the Ramaiolo's.

- Just a moment, guys. - What?

Oh, right... one, two, three!

What are you doing?

Nothing, we're deciding who's going to pay for you.

- What was it, Necchi? - 3.

4 plus 4 is 8... 9, 10, 11.

Pay for me? I'm a guest.

Everybody's guest. Let's go for the usual collection.

- Collection? - Yes.

Let's call it "subscription", if it sounds better to you.

I'm not a beggar, understand?

Up until I was 21, I had a butler dressing me up and undressing me.

Count Lello Mascetti had a 3 and a half years honeymoon

with his wife and a 6ft tall bear on a leash.

18 years ago, Count Mascetti would have paid for you, bunch of shitty people,

and all the workers down there.

If the factory owner hadn't agreed, I would have bought his ass.

Understand? Now you want to make a collection. Asshole!

I won't accept a cheese crust from you.

I'll wait for you in the car. Buon appetito.

We really pissed him off!

Whatever, let's go.

After the pappardelle in duck sauce, I'll have an Aretino liver skewer.

Yes, but with fennels.

I'll have grilled mushrooms, if they have some.

I've seen someone deliver a basket full of big ones.

Then I'll start with mushrooms and truffles.

It's true, he wasn't lying. Mascetti burned through two fortunes:

his own and his wife's. Pride is all he has left.

Helping him is hard, since he only accepts phone tokens and hospitality.

Hospitality is a given among gentlemen.

Moreover, he interprets it his own way.

Like 2 years ago, when he lost his house.

- Mr. Mascetti, may I? - Come in.

Good morning. You have a telephone notice. You should call back...

...urgently.

Wow, brioche and cappuccino!

- A notice for me? Who is it from? - Gavinana's public dormitory.

Oh, the holidaymakers!

What happened? I owe you a call, sorry.

There should be two cups. Don't worry, I'll get the other one.

- Wanna know what your friend did tonight? - What?

- He brought a whore into our house! - No way, he can't pay for a whore.

Where is the bathroom?

- Sorry? - The bathroom.

Oh, the bathroom! Hold on, it's not easy to explain. You have to...

It's down the hallway!

- How would you call her? - Titti, she's the daughter of a retired Colonel.

Colonel Ambrosio. Come on, don't be too formal.

She has been Mascetti's lover for 6 months.

Poor guy, he can't make love to her at his father's place!

But he can here, right? Do you think my house is a motel?

I want you out of here in half an hour!

Gavinana's public dormitory?

This is Count Mascetti. My wife should be there. Could you please put me through to her?

He had a nickname for his wife and daughter: "the holidaymakers".

He had sent them to his wife's hometown in May

and he still hadn't found the money to bring them back.

It's snowed, Lello, almost up to the knees.

You almost gave me an heart attack to tell me it snowed?

- That's good! You and the child can have some fun. - Yes...

Why don't you build a snowman?

- What about our shoes and all the rest? - What about the shoes?

We only have summer shoes!

And it's not only the shoes. It's everything, Lello.

How long will the poor Batacchi host us for free?

- Come on, it's only been 2 months. - He hasn't been paid since July.

Come on, it's just a room with a kitchen.

We don't use the kitchen anymore! Sorry, but the child can't take it anymore.

Alright, don't worry, I'll get there and I'll fix everything.

When will that be?

Let me organize. I can't tell you on the spot. Let's see how things go.

Alright, Lello.

In any case, I'll call you back.

Please, be strong. Understand?

Tell the child too: "Dad asks you to be strong".

- Don't worry, she's a good child. - Talk to you later. Bye!

- What happened? - That friend of yours said his wife...

Really? Now they'll hear me.

Thank you for the exquisite hospitality.

- What are you doing? - I'm packing my stuff.

You don't understand, this is always going to be your home!

If it were I could have invited anyone I liked, but I couldn't, so this isn't home anymore.

Stop being silly, otherwise I'll get offended.

- Try to understand, if it were up to me... - Give me the suitcase.

It's up to Carmen, she's old-fashioned.

Old-fashioned? She's a mean shopkeeper, like you. You're two tobacconists!

Anyway, never mind. We're still friends, but each one to the place they belong.

He meant my place, of course.

Dad!

There's a naked woman in my bed. Can you tell me who she is?

I think it's Mascetti.

Mascetti's a man. Will you enlighten me, please?

You weren't there, she didn't know where to go, I thought it was OK.

Everything is OK for you.

However, I'll stay in a hotel.

When you'll find it OK to free my room, let me know.

- Good night! - Bye.

If you won't tell me what you've done, I'll throw acid in your face!

Don't be so dramatic! You're the only man of my life, OK?

Titti, I can stand anything, but don't treat me like a moron!

I'm not, I've got other things to do.

Don't read magazines while I'm arguing with you!

I've called you seven times, seven phone tokens! Where were you the whole evening, you whore?!

I went riding.

- Whom did you ride? Bitch! - You'll wake up the whole building.

Sorry, but if she doesn't tell me what she did from 4 to 8 o'clock,

I'll destroy her! Where were you?

- At school. - You've just said you went riding!

- So what? I went to school then riding. - Horses are sleeping at 7am!

Maybe she went riding first and then went to school.

I didn't go to school, nor riding!

Oh yeah? Then I'll kick your ass to teach you a lesson!

Ugly faggot!

- I wish I'd never met you! - Take this, asshole!

Are you crazy? Take this!

- You dumb whore! - Not Luciano's pipes!

- He really cares about those! - She's hysterical!

- I'm going to kill you, you know? - Here!

No, not Luciano's files! He's going to be pissed!

I forgive you!

I will come and go and I will do as I please, understand?

I'll see whoever I want!

That's two.

Then why did you swear I'm the only man in your life?

Because it's true, you idiot!

Don't insult me or I'll...!

- You'll what? - I'll...

- Come here! - Let go of me, you pig!

Hello, Melandri? Have you got a bed for Mascetti?

In about fifteen minutes. Yes.

I'll kick both of them out in a minute.

Sorry, what's the room of the lady who just got in?

- Room 18. - Thanks.

- I'm sorry, who are...? - What?

As if it were antani for the MANAGER too, the unhooded super-dicock.

- What? - To the right. For two.

Whatever...

What do you want, idiot?

Didn't I swear you were the only man in my life? What do you want now?

I could bear her cheating on me with another man.

But not with a blondie!

- What was she like? - Beautiful!

Better than Titti.

Yes, because that coward also chooses them beautiful.

I'll be honest with you.

When I saw all those tits and asses all tangled up...

When I saw that scene...

I felt sick.

The mark of depravation and vice... Something I couldn't...

I'll tell you the truth.

It really made me sick.

- You don't agree, do you? - We do, we do.

Where's the line between vice and normality, today?

Everything's so uncertain, but one thing's for sure: I would have plunged into it.

- Me too! - What about you, Melandri?

Honestly, considering that such a situation isn't that common

and a man's pride forces him to show his virility to two women together...

- Well, I would have plunged into it. - Right.

- So, am I an asshole? - You're on the right track.

Maybe if you run you'll still find them there.

No! Enough! It's over!

Don't even mention it.

I'll rent a house, even if I'll have to rob a bank.

The poor holidaymakers can't suffer cold and hunger anymore, do you understand?

And if you see me with Titti again...

- ...you can spit in my face. - Will do.

Where's the paper? Thanks. Let's see what's for rent.

A house for Mascetti... Easier said than done!

Even a dump was too expensive for him.

How could we help him, given his personality?

We had to do it in secret.

There was a basement he liked, but even that was too expensive for him.

We arranged with the landlord to pay almost 2/3 of the rent under the counter.

Mascetti provided the furniture himself.

Dining area.

There's also room for a guest, just in case.

Bedding area.

One, two, three.

We also have a deckchair.

A table...

...and a closet. Beautiful, ample, comfortable.

Here is the built-in wardrobe...

...with the hooks for when we'll have something to hang.

A little kitchen...

We can also wash clothes by hand, here.

And finally, excuse me...

Excuse me.

Bathroom.

The toilet is outside, in the courtyard.

It's functional. Conventional furniture is out of fashion.

Modern style: it looks like there's nothing, but there's everything.

It looks like there's everything, but there's nothing.

Look, there's a heating pipe!

That's the building's sewer system.

- Come on! They must be hungry! Let's eat! - Wine!

- Come on! We're hungry too. - Meatballs!

- Mulled wine! - Russian Salad!

And chestnuts for dessert.

Please, not those! We survived on chestnuts up there.

I see. Jelly!

- Chicken! - My two saints!

What time is it?

7:00? Already?

- It's 3 am. - Then why are you up?

Did something happen again?

Oh God, oh God.

- What happened? - Later, later.

What happened?

Bye.

How may I help you?

Good evening.

I'm looking for flathead mullet pills.

I see.

- You meant for headache. - No, flathead pills.

- What are they? - You don't have them?

Then I'll call the doctor.

Is that you, Titti?

Come!

- Is it true that I'm the only man in your life? - Yes, you are.

- Swear it. - I swear it.

- But you like girls? - It isn't my fault.

Then, you find all men disgusting.

All of them!

- Except me. Swear it again. - I swear it again.

So you love me even if I'm a man?

- Yes. - Do you?

If it wasn't for you, I would have never had a man.

Oh, yes, my Titti! Oh, Titti! My Titti!

Oh, Titti, Titti! My love! I'm going crazy, Titti.

- Scoundrel! - Oh, God! My father!

Is that a shotgun? Watch out!

- Does Mr. Lello Mascetti live here? - Yes.

- I have to speak with him. - He's out.

- Are you his wife? - Yes.

Colonel Ambrosio. May I come in?

- It's about your husband. - Oh my God.

Alice!

What's going on?

It's gas!

It's the gas!

Leave it on! Leave it!

- Are you crazy? - So we'll all die!

Let go of me!

Shame on you! A teen!

- Do you want to kill us all? - I want to die!

Let go of me! What are you doing?

- I want to die! - Mom!

Help!

Oh, it's you.

Listen...

Have you got a blue suit to lend me?

What happened to your cheek?

Nothing. It's been a hell of a night. I'm alive by miracle. A tragedy.

Have you got a blue suit to lend me?

No, but Luciano may have one. Let's see if it fits you.

And a nice tie. A serious one.

Shoes and everything.

- Are you going to a funeral? - Worse. Much worse.

Don't worry.

I'll be done within the day.

- I'll get it back in an hour. - Alright.

You haven't helped me, have you?

Whatever. I'll do it myself.

I told you to spit in my face if I saw Titti again.

You didn't.

- No. - Well.

Then I'll do it myself.

No! That's Luciano's mirror!

Where are you going, to your wedding?

- I'm going with you. - Of course.

We need to talk.

And he spoke for almost an hour, with a firm voice.

The voice of who clearly knows what's his duty

and sticks to it at the cost of his life.

I feel guilty enough towards the poor thing.

God forbid she tried that again.

Don't even make me think about it, I could not bear it.

I could kill myself too.

You are young and have the right to be irresponsible, but I'm not.

I'm not! Do you understand?

I know, I'm spoiling your life. I can't stake a claim on your future.

I would never forgive myself.

You could say we knew all this from the start

and this may only be an excuse to get rid of you,

after I've discovered...

...your little problem.

Well, it's not that much of a problem, after all.

No, that's not the truth.

We have to face reality.

It was just a beautiful dream.

You're 18, I'm 52.

It's not because I'm 34 years older than you, that's the least of our problems.

Our love won't have any chance.

Come on, Titti...

Let's put an end to this pain and stop thinking about it.

It's the only way.

Goodbye, Titti.

Goodbye, you piece of shit. See you same place tomorrow at noon.

Let's make it half past, at noon I've got a foreclosure.

Alright.

- Where are we going? - Dunno... to that beautiful villa.

Alright, but whose villa is it?

Hell if I know. Let's go in and we'll see.

There's a party. How shall we get in?

Should a gypsy bother?

- We'll get in, one way or another. - Come on, I'm getting hungry again.

And I have to take a shit. Hurry up.

Hold it in.

Hey, hi!

- Excuse me. - Yes?

- Who are the landlords? - The couple over there.

- Next to the fireplace. - Thanks.

- Come on, act natural. - Right, natural. Let's go.

After you.

Nice chick!

Good evening! Here we are!

Good evening.

Thank you for coming.

- Rossella, may I introduce you to... - Introduce me to Rossella?

Rossella, how are you? Beautiful party!

- Melandri - You look great.

- Nice to meet you. - May I introduce you to the architect Melandri?

Very pleased.

- Dr. Perozzi, he's a journalist. - My regards.

- Count Mascetti. - Madam, the super-dicock.

- And commander Necchi. - Nice to meet you.

We were at the NATO and thought we couldn't make it.

Luckily enough, we made it and here we are.

Of course, I'm glad you're here. Would you fancy a drink?

- Yes, please! - Would you take care of it, Mario?

Don't worry, we'll help ourselves.

- As if it were antani. - Excuse me, dear.

Excuse me.

- Anything good? - Do you know them? Who are they?

- I have no idea! - Who could they be?

Damn it!

What is genius?

It's imagination, intuition, resolution and quickness.

Come here, cutie.

Alright. Wait, okay?

Here. Good boy! Cute boy! Come here!

Good boy! Like that!

- Where's my glass? - Up there.

Madam, come! Quickly!

Puccetto, the child! Come and see what he has done!

Oh, God! Mario, run!

What happened?

Look! Look!

Mario, look!

- That's huge! - Poor Puccetto... and he's not finished yet!

- Hurry up, Mario. Call the doctor, do something! - Yeah, sure.

You can't imagine how precious is a friend like Necchi.

Especially in tough times, when you kinda lose hope.

"Annabelle, the hot model".

They're screening "Nothing butt serious" at Moderno's, starring Maronelli.

What about Mazzini's?

"Nuns rock: first they convert you, then they jerk your..."

Fuck off!

Last year we went through one of those periods of existential crisis

and it was Necchi who gave us faith in life back, thanks to a discovery.

A hateful retired old man, with avid, greedy, suspicious eyes

started going to his bar.

- How much did you open with? - 100 liras.

So, are you calling?

Look how many he's eating.

That makes five.

And now wait and see.

How many?

- One. - Exactly.

- Kick him out. - No way, too much work.

So? Whose turn is it?

What do you mean? I bet 100 liras.

Who's in?

- How many cards did you change? - Three cards. 100 liras.

- Jeez, I have to think about it! - You're a pain in the ass!

Did you say 100.000?

- Yes, that's what I said. - Not enough: 300.000!

- My cards ask for 1.000.000. - I call.

Can't pass on this rich pot. 1 plus 4 million makes 5.

- I call. - You'll call without me.

I don't want to be brutal, but three of a kind, sevens.

You owed me 10 million, now you only owe me...

5 plus 1 makes 6. I'll sign you a check.

Ixnay, guys! Undercover cops.

The one who's pretending to browse the postcards.

- The one who's pretending to get a coffee too. - Hurry!

- Let's sneak out the backdoor! - Stop, it could be under watch.

- I'll go and check! - Don't move. Stay calm.

You too: don't turn around, don't look.

There's a police car. What about the snow?

WHITE SUGAR

- Don't put it on the table! - Give it here, goddamnit.

Don't move.

Now, you'll get out as if you were a regular customer and you'll wait for us in the park.

Don't move until we get there, understood?

- Hurry! - What is it?

- It's just sugar. - Now go! Run!

- Be cautious! - But also casual!

Yes.

Oh! Whistle!

Good.

Fucking idiot.

Indeed!

- Shall we go? - Let's go!

Curiosity killed the cat. Give it back.

I think I have the right to know...

- Give it back! - You know too much already.

- Vanish and don't come back. - Why should I?

Vanish, change bar, don't show up anymore. Go!

Piss off or I'll throw you into the Arno river!

- We'll never find an old guy like him again. - True.

Therefore, two evenings later, we heard a voice that sounded heavenly to us.

Sugar, was it?

The door.

What do you want?

- Nothing. - So why did you come back?

To blackmail us!

Blackmail you? No way!

I was just thinking maybe I could make some money.

How?

I don't know, doing what I did the other night, for example.

You know, my record is clean. I used to be a post office clerk.

I'm beyond suspicion and nothing scares me.

We believe you.

Look at those evil eyes. No, not evil, look: wicked.

Meeting.

I absolutely can't make the call.

- We'll bring you to the boss. - To whom?

The boss! The chief!

Only he can make a choice like this.

- Call him and ask if we can meet. - Token.

Ask the "Redhead".

Wait!

The password has changed, mind you.

Really? What's the new one?

Now it's: "To jump the ditch you must be ready, with her purse walks the lady".

Wow... OK.

...walks the lady.

Take his hood off!

- Wait, the boss is a doctor?! - Shut up!

Watch your mouth, he's a world-class surgeon.

And he's just a local boss! Nobody knows who's above him.

The organization is a pyramid.

No one knows who's at the top.

- What's your name? - Righi Niccolò.

AKA?

AKA nothing. Just Righi Niccolò.

- Do you at least have a good memory? - Yes, I do.

How does the lady walk?

With her purse.

- And how do you jump the ditch? - Being ready.

Let's test him.

- Hood on! - Come on!

- Quiet! - Don't move!

- Shut up, moron! - I've hit my nose again!

- Don't talk back to us. - That's the florist.

- Who's going in? - I am. - OK.

- Come with me. - Alright.

- It's not "alright", it's OK! Start learning! - OK.

We'll wait for you here with the engine on.

- Hurry! Walk by my side. - OK!

- What am I supposed to do? - No questions. You'll be the lookout, I'll go in.

Stop.

Me?

What was the freaking password?

- The lady opens the purse... - How could you forgive it?

- No, the lady jumps in the ditch... - Listen...

Look, I'm going to write it down.

- Tell me. - Are you crazy? Are you really writing it down?

- What is he making him do? - Next time, I'm going with him.

No, we'll draw straws.

- I feel more relaxed now. - What if they catch you with it on you?

Remember, rule #1: if the police finds us, swallow the password. Understood?

Come on, be on the lookout and don't talk back.

Isn't this 171/b?

- Nope, it's 126! - Dangit, you have to be careful!

Me? How are you still in the gang?!

At the end of that first day, which was devoted to underground connections,

suppliers, informers, drug dealers... we went to cash in our booty.

Mr. Pettinelli had prepared it for us.

He was our old supplier of papier-mâché turds, colouring powders...

In short, various objects to have some fun with.

- Good evening. - Is the stuff ready?

Of course.

- Farewell. - Bye.

The cops! There's a police car!

- To the right! Turn the headlights off! - We have to get rid of the password!

- Well said, Righi. Swallow it! - Good!

Why me? He's the one who wrote it down!

I'm chewing gum and besides I won't eat your leftovers!

This is yours.

This is yours.

This is yours.

This is mine.

This is yours.

This is yours.

This is yours.

This is mine.

The last million...

...is mine.

Because I'm the boss. Alright?

- How about a coffee? Righi? - No!

Then, fellas, meeting adjourned. Let's go.

Bella figlia dell'amore.

How about 20.000 for the big blind?

At least tell me how I performed.

By the way, how did the newcomer manage?

Not bad, for a first timer.

"Not bad"? How dare you say "not bad"? You?!

What, do you have complaints towards Fox Paw?

Are you calling him Fox Paw?

Yes, why?

- Righi, why are you mad at me? I love you. - Don't get me started.

If you've got something to say, spit it out.

What has he done?

Nevermind. Forget it.

My friend,

we make easy money in our line of work,

but behaving is hard, and we pay for our mistakes.

So? Should we keep him or take him out?

Let's give him another chance, we could use one more hired gun: the Marseillaise Clan's back.

No, Titti, I can't tonight either.

Nope. Why? Because I'm busy.

Yes, I have to hit the road.

I don't know when I'll finish.

Titti, when a man is busy, he's busy, alright?

Come on, Titti!

- Come on, Fox Paw! - Yes, boss.

Throw it in the river!

Not that one, the waterproof one, Paw!

They look the same, one white and one black!

The usual Fox Paw.

Where do you think you're going?

- I need to pee! - No pissing on duty!

Is the booty there?

Mission accomplished! 85 millions.

- You can go, Righi! - At last.

We fucked the Marseillaise Clan too.

- Run, the Marseillaise Clan! - Not now!

Run, quick! There's no time to lose! Go, go!

Stay down! Why are you all wet?

- The pig pissed his pants! - You said we had no time!

Come on, you just got scared. Scoot over, you're disgusting!

Take cover! Heads down!

- Step on it or they'll catch us! - I can't go any faster!

Stay down!

Why am I the only one who has to?

Now you know the risks we take.

We are lost souls, hardened criminals, but you... getting involved in the drug business at your age...

Drugs kill.

Our dealers sell it to minors.

- I haven't seen anything. - They're selling it in schools!

My conscience is clear, I just follow orders.

Nothing more. Also, you say it's drugs...

Maybe. Looks like sugar to me.

Yeah, he's right.

That's the way to be: disgusting and cynical like this old fart.

- Ruthless, like him. - Yes, boss.

Let's share the booty and enjoy it!

Well, this time we're splitting it in five parts.

You deserve your share too.

It was about time! You've been splitting among yourself for 25 days!

I haven't seen anything yet! You split 312 million already.

I haven't seen a dime.

Goddamnit, they tricked us!

The Marseillaise Clan! Sons of bitches!

They beat us to the punch!

What a pity, right now you would have gotten your share.

I'm really sorry.

Right, you're sorry.

Suddenly there's no money anymore!

Yet I've always risked my life like all of you.

Like you, like this idiot here! This moron!

Fuck you! Find some other guy!

We'll never find someone like him!

Stop, Righi!

Now you're tied to us!

Don't force us to kill you!

- Halt! - You can't break these chains!

I bet 7.

Listen to me.

I'll tell you in front of them, since you're all here.

I haven't seen you in over a month.

No more eating together, you don't care about family, about anything anymore!

- You say you go out with that old man. - Yeah.

Maybe. But that's enough!

Look, I swear it on our baby's grave:

either you stop it or I'll tell the old man everything!

Understood?

I hope she's joking. Would she really do that?

When she swears on our baby's grave, she means it.

Well, guys, I'll drop out. You go on.

- Alright. - Alright my ass!

It's easy for you, you play the boss!

We bring them to you blindfolded, don't we?

I'm the most fucked up of us all: love, family, business.

Look, Encyclopedia Britannica fired me: "we don't need you anymore, fuck off".

- What about you? - I can still do it.

I'm a bit tired.

I don't sleep anymore. However...

I got it. We're a gang... a gang of clowns.

Alright.

Let's call him and tell him: "Mr. Righi, it was a joke.

Sadly our wives want us to stop, so let's have a last drink and that's it."

No, not like this!

We started this, we have to end it with a bang.

POLICE ON THE TRAIL OF ACCOMPLICES - WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE - 10 MILLION REWARD

- How many copies do you need? - Just this one, thanks.

It took me all night, but I made a masterpiece.

The bloodiest gang war after St. Valentine's Day Massacre.

Our gang is no more, the boss is dead, the Marseillaise win and the Police is on our trail.

- How come my newspaper was different? - This is an extra, it isn't out yet.

You have to disappear asap.

Why is only my identikit on here? I count for little!

You're green, you must have been careless.

Enough! If they catch us, we're fucked. Either you disappear or we'll kill you!

Where should I go? I've got nobody and I'm broke!

You're millionaires, give me some money!

Impossible, those bills are marked for sure.

- Do you have a sister? - Yes.

Go to her.

- She's in Reggio Calabria! - It's not that far.

I still don't understand...

Fuck you and your family!

Cuck! Son of a whore!

Shall we go for a ride?

Guys, I don't know about you, but I'm in no mood.

I haven't slept in 24 hours.

I mean, I don't feel much of a gypsy anymore.

Well, I have an operation early in the morning.

I have to pay up two promissory notes, plus the rent... and I'm broke.

- I've got to plow Carmen. - Alright, it's over.

Freedom, imagination, desire: that's the beauty of the Gypsy Thing.

It's something like love: it comes when it wants to and forcing it is useless when it's over.

The stars again: the same from last night and many other nights.

Nights, days, lovers, events.

My baggage is already full of things from the past.

What about future things? This may be the reason...

...the reason why I still don't take anything seriously: to avoid this burden.

Or maybe my son is right?

Maybe it's that shitty pudding I ate at the villa?

However, it was a good day: beautiful, free, stupid...

...like when we were kids.

Who knows when there's going to be another one like this.

Hello, fuck you, whoever you are at this hour.

What? He's sick?!

Sick how?

- Are you done, doctor? - Yes.

Now...

...get...

...the fuck out...

...because I have to die.

It's not the right moment!

- He isn't able to... - No, no...

In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

Tell me, son.

Venal spillygooda...

...with the super-dicock...

...premature.

Excuse me, son?

I confess, like if it were antani...

...unhooded...

...to the right...

...constantined, don't mallick.

How many times, son?

Fifty-fifty...

...reumatina as if it were...

...mea culpa.

- The super-dicock... - I absolve you from your sins.

In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Is he really dead?

Come on, mom.

Are you sure it's not a joke?

Is he really dead?

Do you think he's pretending?

I expect anything from him.

Not even a single tear?

He made me shed them all already.

We cry when someone dies.

Nobody died.

What was he?

Nothing.

He was nothing.

Let's go, mom.

Well...

He was never that great.

But I liked him.

Me too.

I liked him too, didn't I?

Is that mandatory to be someone?

That prick of his son is.

And that bitch...

Fuck, may his funeral be so great that they'll get a heart attack!

Thousands of people crying!

Flowers, telegrams, bands, flags, whores, soldiers!

Bella figlia dell'amore.

Schiavo son dei vezzi tuoi.

Le mie pene, le mie pene consolar.

- Hey! - Hmm?

That's Righi.

What happened?

That's the boss.

Wasn't he dead?

He's like a cat, he has seven lives.

What about the other one? How did he end up in there?

He was a traitor.

We had to get rid of him.