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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:07,200 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:01:16,605 --> 00:01:19,243 I was a tender 12 years old the first time 3 00:01:19,278 --> 00:01:23,115 I experienced a deep and painful loss. 4 00:01:24,481 --> 00:01:27,185 The cause of her death is still a mystery to me. 5 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:31,288 And I often wonder if there was anything I could have done 6 00:01:31,323 --> 00:01:32,487 to prevent it. 7 00:01:33,756 --> 00:01:37,393 I remember finding her pale, little body floating 8 00:01:37,428 --> 00:01:39,692 in the cold, cruel water. 9 00:01:40,728 --> 00:01:43,762 My mother and stepfather barely acknowledged what happened, 10 00:01:44,633 --> 00:01:48,107 which made the grieving process even more confusing. 11 00:01:48,868 --> 00:01:51,506 Being able to persevere through this tragic loss 12 00:01:51,541 --> 00:01:56,280 helped me to become the strong leader I am today. 13 00:01:57,646 --> 00:02:00,779 And that is why I am the perfect candidate 14 00:02:01,485 --> 00:02:03,518 for Northwestern's liberal arts program. 15 00:02:05,390 --> 00:02:06,488 Goddamn. I'm good. 16 00:02:07,557 --> 00:02:09,755 Suck my dick, Emily Dickinson. 17 00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:12,527 Madison! Can you check on the turkey? 18 00:02:22,407 --> 00:02:23,868 Okay. 19 00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:27,476 Let's do this. 20 00:02:36,751 --> 00:02:38,256 Haha. Boom. 21 00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:39,917 Honey, check the temperature first. 22 00:02:40,425 --> 00:02:42,788 Yes, Mom. I got it. 23 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,164 Already did that... 24 00:02:45,529 --> 00:02:46,924 Put the rolls in the oven. 25 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,299 Fine. 26 00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:52,270 They're not in the fridge. 27 00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:53,436 No, they're in the freezer. 28 00:02:56,441 --> 00:02:59,178 Yeah, that would be great. Actually, that reminds me... 29 00:02:59,444 --> 00:03:01,444 Oh, honey. Will you also pull out the gin? 30 00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:06,284 It's not in the freezer. 31 00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:07,615 Yeah, no, it's in the fridge. 32 00:03:07,650 --> 00:03:10,651 Ugh. This house is so backwards. 33 00:03:14,657 --> 00:03:18,428 - Got ya! - Holy shit! Jimmy! 34 00:03:18,595 --> 00:03:20,430 You scared me! 35 00:03:23,864 --> 00:03:24,863 Mm! Oh, oh. 36 00:03:25,765 --> 00:03:29,604 I am wearing the necklace you gave me. 37 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:31,210 I gave you that? 38 00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:33,443 This morning! 39 00:03:33,478 --> 00:03:34,277 Oh! 40 00:03:34,743 --> 00:03:36,215 It looks so different outside the box. 41 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:39,614 Honey, did you make sure that the turkey was 165 degrees? 42 00:03:40,419 --> 00:03:41,583 Madison! I'm speaking to you! 43 00:03:41,618 --> 00:03:43,585 Mm-hmm. Yep. Mom, I checked it. 44 00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:44,817 It's done. 45 00:03:44,852 --> 00:03:46,456 So, honey, you're sure it's done? 46 00:03:48,493 --> 00:03:50,493 The thermometer said 165. 47 00:03:51,727 --> 00:03:52,726 Well... 48 00:03:53,795 --> 00:03:55,028 Just because it's dark doesn't mean it's cooked. 49 00:03:55,063 --> 00:03:58,237 165 degrees. How would you know that when you're doing that? 50 00:03:58,932 --> 00:04:00,734 Because I can read, Mom. 51 00:04:00,769 --> 00:04:02,571 It's all right. I'll just put it right back in. Excuse me. 52 00:04:02,606 --> 00:04:04,606 - What? Seriously? - Just for a second. 53 00:04:04,641 --> 00:04:06,308 No, Mom. I checked it. It's done. 54 00:04:06,343 --> 00:04:07,842 You know what, I just want to put it in, so we can make sure it's crispy and safe. 55 00:04:07,878 --> 00:04:10,414 - Why don't I help with that, Mrs. Williams? - No! You do not have to help 56 00:04:10,449 --> 00:04:11,382 with that because it's done. 57 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:12,383 - Okay. Okay. - No, it's not done. 58 00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:13,417 Why can you not trust that I can do anything? 59 00:04:13,452 --> 00:04:15,782 This is not about you. This is about the turkey. 60 00:04:15,817 --> 00:04:17,619 - The turkey is done! - The turkey crisps... 61 00:04:17,654 --> 00:04:19,654 Oh my God. Oh! It's so hot! It's so hot! 62 00:04:52,018 --> 00:04:53,523 This corn is uh... 63 00:04:54,493 --> 00:04:55,492 tender. 64 00:04:56,862 --> 00:04:59,892 Yeah. This is a good opportunity to really appreciate the sides 65 00:04:59,927 --> 00:05:03,731 of a dinner and uh... not focus so much on the turkey. 66 00:05:04,437 --> 00:05:05,964 Yeah. Yeah. 67 00:05:06,934 --> 00:05:08,439 Kids make mistakes all the time. 68 00:05:12,676 --> 00:05:15,006 I'm not a kid. I am 18 years old. 69 00:05:15,041 --> 00:05:16,374 And it was an accident, Mom. 70 00:05:16,409 --> 00:05:19,945 - And some might say that you were involved. Hey. Hey! What... 71 00:05:20,717 --> 00:05:21,848 What did everyone do today? 72 00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:24,015 Oh! Dad and I built a snowman. 73 00:05:24,050 --> 00:05:27,425 Oh yeah. It's the, uh, lump of snow outside with my, uh, clothes on. 74 00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:28,591 Well, that's great! 75 00:05:29,961 --> 00:05:32,463 Madison, did you finish that essay for your college application? 76 00:05:32,861 --> 00:05:33,860 Yeah. 77 00:05:34,796 --> 00:05:36,665 Yeah, Uncle Andy. I... I actually did. Um... 78 00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:37,633 Great. 79 00:05:37,668 --> 00:05:40,097 Mom, did you have a chance to read it yet? 80 00:05:42,739 --> 00:05:43,738 I did. 81 00:05:45,544 --> 00:05:46,576 And? 82 00:05:48,547 --> 00:05:51,647 Honestly, I don't think there's any college that's gonna accept that essay. 83 00:05:53,013 --> 00:05:54,353 What are you talking about? 84 00:05:55,015 --> 00:05:56,652 Did you really write about Goldie? 85 00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:58,489 Who's Goldie? 86 00:05:58,887 --> 00:06:00,986 You wrote about your dead goldfish? 87 00:06:01,659 --> 00:06:04,594 Look, I know you're upset with me, but Madison, you could do better. 88 00:06:04,629 --> 00:06:08,862 I do not even know why I bothered to ask your opinion 89 00:06:08,897 --> 00:06:09,963 on the essay in the first place. 90 00:06:09,998 --> 00:06:11,997 I mean, you seize every single opportunity you can 91 00:06:12,032 --> 00:06:13,031 to criticize me, so there's that. 92 00:06:15,805 --> 00:06:18,135 Why didn't you write about the special bond you have with Heather? 93 00:06:18,643 --> 00:06:19,642 Don't write about me. 94 00:06:20,645 --> 00:06:21,310 Look, I don't know what's taking so long. 95 00:06:21,345 --> 00:06:22,513 It's not like you have a job. 96 00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:25,010 Maybe something more interesting would happen if you just 97 00:06:25,045 --> 00:06:26,044 left the house. 98 00:06:30,622 --> 00:06:34,019 Hey, I was looking through your photo albums, 99 00:06:34,054 --> 00:06:35,757 and mini-Madison was so cute. 100 00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:38,397 Aw. Thanks, Jimmy. 101 00:06:38,663 --> 00:06:40,729 Remember when mini-Madison wanted to grow up to be a dog? 102 00:06:40,764 --> 00:06:43,897 - Uh-huh. - Aw, you wanted to be a little mini-muffin? 103 00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:46,097 Well, there's nothing wrong with taking social cues 104 00:06:46,132 --> 00:06:47,604 from man's best friend. 105 00:06:47,639 --> 00:06:49,166 Mmm, she used to put the food on the floor 106 00:06:49,201 --> 00:06:50,640 and try to eat without her hands. 107 00:06:50,807 --> 00:06:52,543 Well... 108 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:55,040 Okay, think we're done with this subject. 109 00:06:55,075 --> 00:06:57,174 We could probably move on now, right? 110 00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:58,978 Oh my God, she also pooped on the front lawn. 111 00:06:59,013 --> 00:07:00,078 - No, she didn't! - Dude, yes! 112 00:07:00,113 --> 00:07:01,684 - Oh, she did! - So many times! 113 00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:24,707 There you are. 114 00:07:29,846 --> 00:07:31,142 I come bearing gifts. 115 00:07:35,852 --> 00:07:36,983 Come on. 116 00:07:37,216 --> 00:07:38,952 We were just joking around. 117 00:07:51,835 --> 00:07:53,736 I know. They took it a little too far. 118 00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:57,773 But, I like being reminded of mini-Madison. 119 00:08:14,154 --> 00:08:17,287 I'm just so sick of my parents still treating me like a child. 120 00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:19,564 My mother doesn't appreciate any of the hard work I'm doing. 121 00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:24,261 Heather is a grade-A bitch. And... and... and Uncle Andy just... 122 00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:26,230 It's like he's the only person who... 123 00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:29,607 Seriously? 124 00:08:30,709 --> 00:08:31,708 What? 125 00:08:32,172 --> 00:08:33,776 No, no, no! No, no, no! Hey, hey, hey! 126 00:08:34,141 --> 00:08:36,614 I was listening. I promise I was listening. 127 00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:38,044 Hey, hey, hey! 128 00:08:38,211 --> 00:08:39,914 Heather is a grade-A bitch. 129 00:08:42,886 --> 00:08:45,590 I'm sorry. Just talk to me. 130 00:08:47,825 --> 00:08:49,154 I don't know. I just... 131 00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:51,695 I just wish they'd leave me alone. 132 00:08:52,027 --> 00:08:54,192 Like, like, give me my own space. 133 00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:55,600 Maybe even my own room. 134 00:08:56,064 --> 00:08:58,636 Like, sharing a room with Heather is not exactly 135 00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:01,166 my favorite thing in the world. You know? 136 00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,839 Ugh. I'm 18. Just like let me... 137 00:09:03,874 --> 00:09:05,577 - You know what we need? - What? 138 00:09:05,975 --> 00:09:07,645 - A vacation. - Ha. Yeah. 139 00:09:07,944 --> 00:09:09,273 Yeah, that's what... 140 00:09:10,078 --> 00:09:12,650 Whoa, I'm not looking at my phone. Look. I promise. 141 00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:15,081 No, it's not... it's not that. 142 00:09:16,183 --> 00:09:18,018 There's a light on at the Becker's house. 143 00:09:19,087 --> 00:09:20,185 And? 144 00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:22,253 And they're not home. 145 00:09:25,324 --> 00:09:26,697 I do not see a light. 146 00:09:27,799 --> 00:09:29,326 Well something must have turned it off. 147 00:09:30,762 --> 00:09:33,132 - Maybe the house is haunted. - Yeah. Definitely. 148 00:09:33,167 --> 00:09:35,673 Hey! It makes sense. Ghosts mess with lights all the time. 149 00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:36,607 It's like a common fact. 150 00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,302 We should go over there and check it out. 151 00:09:41,208 --> 00:09:43,043 You want to go into the haunted house? 152 00:09:44,046 --> 00:09:45,980 It's not actually haunted, Jimmy. 153 00:09:46,917 --> 00:09:48,785 There is no way you're going to convince me 154 00:09:48,985 --> 00:09:50,248 to go into a haunted house. 155 00:09:55,992 --> 00:09:58,157 Mr. and Mrs. Becker? 156 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,701 It's Madison. 157 00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:04,999 Hello? 158 00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:15,746 How long do you think it's been since someone was here? 159 00:10:16,276 --> 00:10:19,145 A few months. Probably. 160 00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:22,621 Are you sure you saw a light turn on? 161 00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:25,855 Must've been bad wiring. 162 00:10:26,385 --> 00:10:27,956 Or bad ghosts. 163 00:10:35,130 --> 00:10:37,900 Well, if you're convinced there's ghosts, we could always... 164 00:10:38,199 --> 00:10:40,100 have a seance. 165 00:10:41,169 --> 00:10:44,775 I am convinced there are ghosts. And I don't want to meet them. 166 00:10:45,404 --> 00:10:47,811 Jimmy. We have two options. Okay? 167 00:10:48,275 --> 00:10:51,848 Either, we can stay here, talk to some ghosts, 168 00:10:51,883 --> 00:10:56,017 or, uh, we can go back and talk to my angry mom. 169 00:10:56,382 --> 00:10:57,887 Ugh. 170 00:10:58,890 --> 00:11:00,318 Fine. Fuck it. 171 00:11:02,058 --> 00:11:03,354 - Let's talk to some ghosts. - Hm. 172 00:11:11,034 --> 00:11:13,738 What kind of person punches an innocent snowman in the face? 173 00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:16,301 Oh, chill out, dude. It looked like your ex-boyfriend. 174 00:11:16,809 --> 00:11:19,040 What? No, it didn't. What do you want? 175 00:11:19,075 --> 00:11:22,307 Uh, listen. Could you cover for me and Jimmy for a bit? 176 00:11:23,310 --> 00:11:25,178 I mean, Mom and Dad are pretty hammered, 177 00:11:25,213 --> 00:11:27,345 Uncle Andy is gonna stay over. 178 00:11:28,084 --> 00:11:29,446 You probably have some time. 179 00:11:30,284 --> 00:11:32,790 Okay. Can you just like stuff some pillows in my bed? 180 00:11:32,825 --> 00:11:34,451 Make it look like I'm sleeping? 181 00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:37,960 I don't know if I want to traumatize Dad like that again. 182 00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:42,360 You're going to prom this year, right? 183 00:11:43,836 --> 00:11:46,430 Well, I would be honored to supply you 184 00:11:46,465 --> 00:11:50,742 with a bottle of booze as a token of my appreciation. 185 00:11:51,404 --> 00:11:53,305 - Two. - Absolutely. 186 00:11:53,340 --> 00:11:54,372 Deal. 187 00:11:58,444 --> 00:12:00,081 Perfect. 188 00:12:00,248 --> 00:12:02,721 What is this? 189 00:12:03,449 --> 00:12:05,020 Oh. It's a Hodag. 190 00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:08,353 - A Ho-bag? - No. Hodag. 191 00:12:08,927 --> 00:12:11,389 He's a mythical creature. It's a Northwoods thing. 192 00:12:12,326 --> 00:12:14,458 Hm. Well, whatever it is, 193 00:12:14,493 --> 00:12:17,065 it's going to be our official seance mascot. 194 00:12:17,463 --> 00:12:19,771 - Oh, shit! - Jimmy! 195 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,400 Is it bad luck to break a ho-bag? 196 00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:30,177 Oh, great Hodag spirit. 197 00:12:31,015 --> 00:12:33,015 We ask for your forgiveness 198 00:12:33,512 --> 00:12:39,516 and help us ward off the evil spirits present in this house. 199 00:12:43,159 --> 00:12:44,058 And now, 200 00:12:45,194 --> 00:12:48,426 we will drink the ceremonial Hodag blood. 201 00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:51,429 Is there paint in this? 202 00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:53,904 No. It's beer with green food dye. 203 00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:55,499 - Ooh. Nice. - Cheers. 204 00:13:00,143 --> 00:13:03,408 Ah. Okay. Put your hands on the indicator thing. 205 00:13:09,482 --> 00:13:10,514 What do you want to ask them? 206 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:15,387 Mm. What they want. 207 00:13:17,127 --> 00:13:18,830 Spirits. 208 00:13:19,998 --> 00:13:21,162 What do you want? 209 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:30,809 Holy shit. 210 00:13:31,174 --> 00:13:32,943 It's moving. 211 00:13:34,177 --> 00:13:35,176 S. 212 00:13:35,948 --> 00:13:36,847 You're moving this, aren't you? 213 00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:39,180 No! I swear to God, I'm not moving this. 214 00:13:39,446 --> 00:13:41,545 S, E... 215 00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:43,580 I can't believe it's moving. 216 00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:45,549 S, E... 217 00:13:46,090 --> 00:13:47,254 X. 218 00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:48,926 Sex. 219 00:13:49,357 --> 00:13:50,356 Sex? 220 00:13:51,258 --> 00:13:52,897 Oh, you're saying you want to have sex? 221 00:13:52,932 --> 00:13:55,163 - Jimmy! - Hey, I'm fine with it. 222 00:13:55,198 --> 00:13:57,594 But, just to be clear, for the record, it was your idea. 223 00:13:57,629 --> 00:13:59,937 Oh, it was my idea? Really? It was? Shut up. 224 00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:01,202 Hodag as my witness. 225 00:14:29,232 --> 00:14:31,001 A Hodag ghost? 226 00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:34,235 That's not good. 227 00:14:39,110 --> 00:14:40,175 Protected. 228 00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:58,358 Whoa! Oh! Jimmy! Jimmy! Hey, hey! 229 00:14:58,393 --> 00:14:59,898 We gotta get up. Come on. 230 00:15:00,131 --> 00:15:01,064 No, Jimmy. Seriously. 231 00:15:01,099 --> 00:15:03,594 Wake up. Get up. Come on! 232 00:15:03,629 --> 00:15:05,035 Whoa! 233 00:15:18,248 --> 00:15:19,478 Oh, my God. 234 00:15:20,679 --> 00:15:22,382 Do you think anyone else is in here? 235 00:15:23,550 --> 00:15:25,154 - Is anyone in here? - Jimmy! 236 00:15:32,559 --> 00:15:34,460 We weren't this high last night. 237 00:15:38,235 --> 00:15:39,432 Where's their TV? 238 00:15:40,732 --> 00:15:42,402 I think they were robbed. 239 00:15:43,339 --> 00:15:44,503 Do you think they got our weed? 240 00:15:44,703 --> 00:15:46,076 Shit! 241 00:15:46,705 --> 00:15:48,309 The gremlin prostitute's gone. 242 00:15:48,344 --> 00:15:50,949 How did we sleep through a robbery? 243 00:15:51,314 --> 00:15:52,544 Hodag's revenge. 244 00:15:52,579 --> 00:15:54,678 Okay. Well, we... we have to call the police. 245 00:15:54,713 --> 00:15:57,714 What? No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 246 00:15:58,123 --> 00:15:59,551 We can't call the police. 247 00:15:59,586 --> 00:16:01,190 We'll get in trouble for breaking and entering! 248 00:16:01,225 --> 00:16:02,224 Uh, no, we won't. 249 00:16:03,327 --> 00:16:05,161 But we did. We're trespassers. We are lawbreakers. 250 00:16:05,328 --> 00:16:07,163 Yeah, but our broken law is less bad than the robbers' broken law 251 00:16:07,198 --> 00:16:08,692 - so we're good. - Can we just talk about this? 252 00:16:08,727 --> 00:16:11,002 Jimmy! No! Jimmy! Jimmy! No, no, no. 253 00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:12,437 911. What's your emergency? 254 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,006 - Jimmy! - Is this an emergency? 255 00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:16,708 Hello? Is anyone there? 256 00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,209 - Jimmy, absolutely not! - I... I can hear you. Is someone hurt? 257 00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:20,440 I'm sending help over... 258 00:16:29,748 --> 00:16:32,650 S... so why did you guys dress up for Christmas? 259 00:16:33,389 --> 00:16:34,689 - Well, we're concerned citizens... - Well, it's actually not what... 260 00:16:34,724 --> 00:16:36,057 - ...and we wanted to check out... - ...it looks like at all. 261 00:16:36,092 --> 00:16:36,824 - ...and we had a seance. - It was her idea to come over here. 262 00:16:36,859 --> 00:16:39,257 - My idea? - Enough. 263 00:16:39,292 --> 00:16:41,461 We're gonna have to separate you two for the rest of the interview. 264 00:16:42,464 --> 00:16:45,003 Also, please wash your faces before we continue. 265 00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:51,075 Tell me what happened on the night of December 25th. 266 00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:52,538 Okay. 267 00:16:53,343 --> 00:16:57,147 Wait, so, what time does night start? 268 00:16:57,644 --> 00:16:59,611 I can't believe I gotta babysit. 269 00:17:02,385 --> 00:17:05,221 But, I do get to meet a robber my first day of the job. 270 00:17:05,256 --> 00:17:07,784 Starting off pretty good. Starting off pretty cool. 271 00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:10,259 I told you. We didn't rob this place. 272 00:17:10,294 --> 00:17:12,261 - Okay. - We... we snuck in. 273 00:17:12,296 --> 00:17:16,826 We fell asleep. We woke up, and we realized it was robbed. 274 00:17:16,861 --> 00:17:18,597 Like, technically, we helped you guys out. 275 00:17:18,764 --> 00:17:20,731 Okay. All right. Just forget the part where I said 276 00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:23,536 it was like my first day on the job. Okay? I'm not that dumb. All right? 277 00:17:23,571 --> 00:17:25,373 I did train for this. 278 00:17:25,408 --> 00:17:27,144 And then the whole thing flew in my face. 279 00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:28,541 - Oh, my God. - So they were the ones 280 00:17:28,576 --> 00:17:30,378 - who originally dropped the turkey. - Mm-hm. 281 00:17:30,413 --> 00:17:33,150 So, you see, it's not my fault Christmas dinner got ruined. 282 00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:35,515 Yeah. Well, in this situation, if anything, 283 00:17:35,550 --> 00:17:37,055 you're the Christmas hero. 284 00:17:37,321 --> 00:17:39,288 I know! 285 00:17:39,323 --> 00:17:40,586 - Thank you! - Man! 286 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,687 Why did you enter the Becker's house? 287 00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:46,460 I know the Beckers. My family's cabin is next door. 288 00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:50,332 Really? Next door? Interesting. 289 00:17:50,565 --> 00:17:54,171 We thought they would appreciate us keeping an eye on things. 290 00:17:54,338 --> 00:18:01,343 We needed to investigate and confirm if the house was haunted. 291 00:18:03,215 --> 00:18:04,841 Okay. Um... 292 00:18:05,382 --> 00:18:07,745 What happened after you entered the premises? 293 00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:12,585 We made sure the premises were secured, and they were. 294 00:18:12,620 --> 00:18:16,325 Didn't see anything too crazy at the time. 295 00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,459 We assessed the haunted lights 296 00:18:18,494 --> 00:18:21,726 which were also securely shut down. 297 00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:25,598 And look, I know the Beckers wouldn't mind us hanging out. 298 00:18:25,633 --> 00:18:30,438 So, so, yeah. We played a board game. Just lit a few candles. 299 00:18:30,473 --> 00:18:33,210 And then we had a seance. 300 00:18:33,641 --> 00:18:36,312 But we didn't do any of this other stuff. 301 00:18:37,579 --> 00:18:40,712 Did I hear... did I hear you guys, you said you did a seance? 302 00:18:41,385 --> 00:18:43,253 - Yeah. - Oh, yeah? 303 00:18:43,519 --> 00:18:44,848 So did you, uh... 304 00:18:47,787 --> 00:18:48,885 talk to any ghosts? 305 00:18:50,188 --> 00:18:53,263 Dude. There was a spiritual presence in the house last night. 306 00:18:53,793 --> 00:18:57,135 I f... I felt it when I walked in. 307 00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:59,764 But you did not vandalize anything in the house? 308 00:18:59,799 --> 00:19:00,798 Absolutely not. 309 00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:04,670 Well, so, there was a Hodag statue. But... 310 00:19:04,705 --> 00:19:05,803 We fixed it. 311 00:19:06,806 --> 00:19:08,806 Well if you didn't rob the house then who did? 312 00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:11,677 I honestly do not know. 313 00:19:13,351 --> 00:19:16,286 Your boyfriend said that a Hodag robbed the house. 314 00:19:16,651 --> 00:19:18,486 He said what? 315 00:19:34,702 --> 00:19:37,373 We're still trying to get in touch with the Beckers to confirm 316 00:19:37,408 --> 00:19:39,243 your relationship to them. 317 00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:41,344 While I continue my investigation, I... 318 00:19:41,379 --> 00:19:44,314 Whoa. Uh. Our investigation. 319 00:19:47,583 --> 00:19:51,552 We have agreed to release them into your custody 320 00:19:51,587 --> 00:19:53,785 so long as you agree not to leave the county. 321 00:19:53,820 --> 00:19:55,556 Under any circumstances. 322 00:19:55,591 --> 00:19:57,294 Not leave the county? I'm sorry, you know, 323 00:19:57,329 --> 00:19:58,856 we have to be in Chicago tomorrow for work. 324 00:19:59,463 --> 00:20:02,959 Oh, well, I mean that kinda sounds like a circumstance. 325 00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:04,202 Or, no. 326 00:20:06,305 --> 00:20:07,370 Or we can hold them. 327 00:20:08,307 --> 00:20:09,339 Hold them? 328 00:20:10,442 --> 00:20:12,408 In jail? What? We're supposed to leave them in jail? 329 00:20:12,707 --> 00:20:13,940 - Well... - Yeah, that's kinda how it works. 330 00:20:13,975 --> 00:20:17,710 Babe, what about your brother, Andy? Maybe he can take them. 331 00:20:17,745 --> 00:20:19,679 Guys, I can't stay here. 332 00:20:19,714 --> 00:20:21,417 I'm gonna miss Jennifer's New Year's party. 333 00:20:21,452 --> 00:20:23,617 Oh, I'm sorry. You're gonna miss Jennifer's New Year's party? 334 00:20:23,850 --> 00:20:25,586 Where is my responsible daughter? 335 00:20:25,621 --> 00:20:26,720 - I am responsible, Mom! - ...What are we doing here? 336 00:20:26,756 --> 00:20:28,188 - You just never see that. - No. The police are here. 337 00:20:28,224 --> 00:20:30,789 We're doing this because I responsibly reported a robbery. 338 00:20:30,824 --> 00:20:32,591 No. You stayed in a place you should not have stayed. 339 00:20:32,626 --> 00:20:33,925 - Why are so you mean to me? Also, I stay in a place... - Are you kidding me? 340 00:20:33,961 --> 00:20:34,960 - I don't get to see my friends... - Do not try 341 00:20:34,995 --> 00:20:37,368 to out-scream me. You know what, you go to college 342 00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:38,736 - and have a social life. - I would love to go to college 343 00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,733 - if you would approve my essay. - Every action has a consequence. 344 00:20:40,768 --> 00:20:42,031 Say something. 345 00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:43,736 - I'd just like... - Don't. 346 00:21:30,950 --> 00:21:33,819 First up, my house rules. 347 00:21:35,724 --> 00:21:39,792 You will forfeit both your cell phones. 348 00:21:40,663 --> 00:21:42,630 You'll sleep in separate bedrooms. 349 00:21:43,567 --> 00:21:45,996 You'll get up at six AM every morning 350 00:21:46,031 --> 00:21:48,768 and make your beds and... what now? 351 00:21:52,972 --> 00:21:54,939 Son of a... 352 00:22:06,689 --> 00:22:08,557 Your uncle Andy told me what happened to his house. 353 00:22:08,592 --> 00:22:10,359 I know you're telling the truth about the Beckers. 354 00:22:10,394 --> 00:22:12,990 But I'm worried you don't realize that your actions have consequences. 355 00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:16,400 You need to take more responsibility on and help around the cabin. 356 00:22:16,435 --> 00:22:17,962 So I'm gonna send you a list of chores to... 357 00:22:17,997 --> 00:22:21,339 Looks like they didn't get everything. 358 00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:23,737 Not the time. 359 00:22:26,874 --> 00:22:28,874 I... I don't know if this job is right for you. 360 00:22:30,009 --> 00:22:33,681 Well, we're gonna stay at the family house. 361 00:22:34,145 --> 00:22:35,551 Hop in. 362 00:22:55,771 --> 00:22:58,442 I'm beginning to think that maybe you two 363 00:22:58,477 --> 00:23:00,136 didn't rob the Becker's house. 364 00:23:16,121 --> 00:23:18,594 Oh. Thank you. 365 00:23:33,138 --> 00:23:35,710 Okay. I cannot believe that there are robbers out there 366 00:23:35,877 --> 00:23:38,482 screwing people over and then letting us take the fall for it. 367 00:23:38,748 --> 00:23:41,551 Yeah. These are the most inconsiderate robbers ever. 368 00:23:41,751 --> 00:23:42,948 Okay. You know what? 369 00:23:44,151 --> 00:23:46,523 We need to find these assholes and then clear our names. 370 00:23:49,220 --> 00:23:51,495 Well, what else are we supposed to do? 371 00:23:52,190 --> 00:23:54,091 It's practically the Wild West up here. 372 00:23:55,226 --> 00:23:56,566 We should scour the town for clues. 373 00:23:57,030 --> 00:23:58,128 Stake out the empty houses. 374 00:23:58,504 --> 00:23:59,833 You will do no such thing. 375 00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:03,672 - Why not? - Because you are not Sherlock Holmes 376 00:24:03,707 --> 00:24:04,739 and this is real life. 377 00:24:05,071 --> 00:24:06,807 But the police think that we did it. 378 00:24:06,842 --> 00:24:09,205 You are more likely to end up getting hurt than you are 379 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:10,679 to catch any robbers. 380 00:24:15,081 --> 00:24:18,555 I'm sorry. I cannot eat this box macaroni and cheese. 381 00:24:19,250 --> 00:24:20,854 If we're going to be here for a while, 382 00:24:20,889 --> 00:24:22,658 I'm going to get us some real food. 383 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:28,191 Do not go anywhere while I'm gone. 384 00:24:28,226 --> 00:24:30,699 Remember, your very presence in this house is enough 385 00:24:30,734 --> 00:24:31,931 to deter a robber. 386 00:25:19,783 --> 00:25:21,618 I know your mom is being hard on you, but 387 00:25:23,388 --> 00:25:24,654 that's only because we know how much untapped potential... 388 00:25:26,057 --> 00:25:27,323 Honey, life after high school is hard. 389 00:25:27,358 --> 00:25:30,286 Figuring what you want to do with your life is hard. 390 00:25:30,321 --> 00:25:33,531 But you need a plan. Make a goal chart and... 391 00:25:33,863 --> 00:25:35,863 Hey, sis. How's your goal chart? 392 00:25:51,309 --> 00:25:52,583 That was nothing, right? 393 00:25:53,552 --> 00:25:56,048 Yeah. Yeah, that was probably the heater. 394 00:25:56,919 --> 00:25:59,315 So we don't have to check it out. 395 00:26:01,055 --> 00:26:02,318 We should definitely check it out. 396 00:26:02,353 --> 00:26:03,792 Shit! 397 00:26:20,239 --> 00:26:22,074 Okay, I know Andy said not to do anything, 398 00:26:22,109 --> 00:26:24,912 but I don't think we can just stay here and do nothing. 399 00:26:24,947 --> 00:26:26,309 Yeah. 400 00:26:26,344 --> 00:26:27,882 I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. 401 00:26:28,984 --> 00:26:31,721 You know what? We could put a lock on the back door. 402 00:26:32,856 --> 00:26:34,988 Yeah. Let's do that. 403 00:26:39,731 --> 00:26:42,963 Okay. Do you think we should put some extra lights on timers? 404 00:26:42,998 --> 00:26:44,866 Yeah! Ooh, let's put the tree on a timer. 405 00:27:05,416 --> 00:27:08,153 Madison, I found these great party pop... 406 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,362 Too long. 407 00:27:20,134 --> 00:27:21,265 That... 408 00:27:22,774 --> 00:27:23,773 That works. 409 00:27:34,181 --> 00:27:35,653 Okay. 410 00:27:38,856 --> 00:27:40,416 Close it. Close it. Close it. 411 00:27:42,024 --> 00:27:43,023 Okay! 412 00:27:48,327 --> 00:27:49,326 What? 413 00:27:56,940 --> 00:27:58,775 Do you even know how to use that thing? 414 00:27:58,810 --> 00:28:02,174 Nope. But if I could figure it out, I think it could be useful. 415 00:28:02,209 --> 00:28:03,307 Uh-huh. 416 00:28:11,383 --> 00:28:13,020 What the heck is this? 417 00:28:14,056 --> 00:28:15,418 Okay. 418 00:28:16,454 --> 00:28:17,827 What the...? 419 00:28:19,490 --> 00:28:22,458 - Absolutely not. - What? 420 00:28:25,067 --> 00:28:26,737 And definitely none of that. 421 00:28:28,070 --> 00:28:29,234 And, actually, I don't care about that. 422 00:28:29,973 --> 00:28:31,071 Oh, really? 423 00:28:31,106 --> 00:28:32,875 Well, I was 18 once too, you know. 424 00:28:33,372 --> 00:28:35,944 But I do not drink and play with knives. 425 00:28:35,979 --> 00:28:37,176 We're just trying to protect ourselves. 426 00:28:37,211 --> 00:28:39,442 Or at least make some sort of alarm system. 427 00:28:39,477 --> 00:28:42,082 Well, this is more likely to harm you than any intruder. 428 00:28:44,482 --> 00:28:46,383 All right. 429 00:28:47,518 --> 00:28:49,826 You want to protect yourselves like responsible adults? 430 00:28:49,861 --> 00:28:50,860 - Yes! - Yes! 431 00:28:55,196 --> 00:28:56,998 What the? 432 00:28:58,969 --> 00:29:00,100 How long has that been there? 433 00:29:00,498 --> 00:29:02,201 A while. 434 00:29:07,274 --> 00:29:08,372 Madison. 435 00:29:11,850 --> 00:29:12,882 Here you go, Jimmy. 436 00:29:16,151 --> 00:29:17,414 Hold it like Madison. 437 00:29:19,187 --> 00:29:20,186 All right. 438 00:29:20,353 --> 00:29:22,056 You have to chamber a round. 439 00:29:23,290 --> 00:29:25,422 Otherwise you'll look like a fool with no intent. 440 00:29:27,162 --> 00:29:28,194 Oh, so just like... 441 00:29:29,901 --> 00:29:31,164 For Pete's sake! 442 00:29:32,367 --> 00:29:34,299 No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 443 00:29:40,406 --> 00:29:41,504 Thank you. 444 00:29:46,412 --> 00:29:48,951 These are BB guns. 445 00:29:49,888 --> 00:29:51,052 Take it. 446 00:29:52,622 --> 00:29:55,056 You'll be able to scare people off, but you won't really be able to hurt anyone. 447 00:29:56,191 --> 00:29:57,993 Oh, shit! 448 00:29:58,028 --> 00:29:59,060 Jesus Christ. 449 00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:03,163 Just... just take it from him. 450 00:30:06,036 --> 00:30:07,068 Ah. 451 00:30:10,601 --> 00:30:12,843 Here are some items you can actually use. 452 00:30:17,443 --> 00:30:18,442 A pocket knife? 453 00:30:19,445 --> 00:30:21,280 In the right hands a pocket knife can provide 454 00:30:21,315 --> 00:30:23,920 a person shelter, food, and security. 455 00:30:23,955 --> 00:30:26,186 Making it an important asset to mankind. 456 00:30:26,221 --> 00:30:28,353 Aw. It has such a small blade. 457 00:30:29,587 --> 00:30:31,026 That one has a flashlight. 458 00:30:37,199 --> 00:30:38,935 Okay. So now, we keep watch. 459 00:30:38,970 --> 00:30:41,300 And hope what we fear will never come. 460 00:32:52,631 --> 00:32:57,271 - All quiet on the east side. - All clear on the lake side. 461 00:33:00,144 --> 00:33:02,507 Have there been serial robberies like this in the past? 462 00:33:03,114 --> 00:33:04,476 Luckily, no. 463 00:33:05,512 --> 00:33:08,051 Well, why do you think they're breaking in 464 00:33:08,086 --> 00:33:09,481 and robbing people now? 465 00:33:09,747 --> 00:33:12,220 Hard to say. It's different for each robber. 466 00:33:12,255 --> 00:33:14,519 I think these robberies are crimes of opportunity. 467 00:33:16,127 --> 00:33:18,292 Do you guys want to watch Santa Clause Conquers the Martians? 468 00:33:18,459 --> 00:33:19,755 - Ooh. - Santa did what? 469 00:33:19,790 --> 00:33:21,757 It's a really good movie. And! 470 00:33:23,068 --> 00:33:25,134 We can play a really fun drinking game while we watch it. 471 00:33:26,137 --> 00:33:28,500 - We should keep a lookout. - Why? 472 00:33:29,272 --> 00:33:30,700 I mean, the sun is setting. We're not going to be able 473 00:33:31,076 --> 00:33:32,504 to see much in the dark anyway. 474 00:33:32,539 --> 00:33:35,474 Can we just take a short break? Please? 475 00:33:35,509 --> 00:33:39,181 Wouldn't a movie playing deter people from breaking in? 476 00:33:39,348 --> 00:33:40,644 Or we could play a game! 477 00:33:41,515 --> 00:33:42,581 What game? 478 00:33:42,616 --> 00:33:44,714 Why don't you teach us a game that you like to play? 479 00:33:45,321 --> 00:33:47,255 Ooh, you show you yours, I'll show me mine. 480 00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:12,412 Kings are worth four points. 481 00:34:12,447 --> 00:34:15,811 Queens three. Jacks two. Aces are worth eleven. 482 00:34:15,846 --> 00:34:17,384 And then tens are worth ten. 483 00:34:17,419 --> 00:34:19,353 Okay. And nines are nine? 484 00:34:19,388 --> 00:34:21,157 - Uh, no. Zero. - What about eights? 485 00:34:21,192 --> 00:34:22,191 Uh, zero. 486 00:34:22,391 --> 00:34:23,390 Seven? 487 00:34:24,626 --> 00:34:26,723 Zero. And, no, you don't play with any cards under seven. 488 00:34:27,528 --> 00:34:28,824 O... okay. 489 00:34:28,859 --> 00:34:30,199 You'll figure it out. 490 00:34:32,335 --> 00:34:34,731 - When do you drink? - Whenever you damn well please. 491 00:34:44,743 --> 00:34:47,843 What if the number of points you score 492 00:34:47,878 --> 00:34:51,220 is the number of seconds the person to your left has to drink? 493 00:34:51,354 --> 00:34:53,519 Why must everything turn into a drinking game? 494 00:34:53,554 --> 00:34:56,357 Now, can we just drink and play a game? 495 00:34:56,392 --> 00:34:58,194 Let's just play something else! 496 00:35:12,309 --> 00:35:16,212 So, whatever the value of the card that is in your set 497 00:35:16,247 --> 00:35:18,346 that's the number of seconds you have to drink. 498 00:35:18,645 --> 00:35:20,579 What are these cards in the middle here? 499 00:35:20,614 --> 00:35:23,384 Oh, no. It's way easier to understand the command cards first. 500 00:35:23,551 --> 00:35:25,749 So if someone flips over an ace, 501 00:35:25,784 --> 00:35:28,323 the person across from them has to pound the table and shout 502 00:35:28,688 --> 00:35:32,393 "Two for all." If they don't, they have to finish their beer. 503 00:35:33,363 --> 00:35:34,659 I'm not playing this game. 504 00:35:48,939 --> 00:35:50,378 Look at their helmets. 505 00:35:50,413 --> 00:35:51,907 Look at his beard. 506 00:36:00,720 --> 00:36:02,258 How long is this movie? 507 00:36:02,293 --> 00:36:04,194 It's 81 glorious minutes. 508 00:36:08,431 --> 00:36:09,562 - He said Santa! - Drink! 509 00:36:21,576 --> 00:36:23,807 ...supposedly frozen individual moves! 510 00:36:23,842 --> 00:36:25,545 It's rule number nine. 511 00:36:25,580 --> 00:36:29,252 Okay. Andy won. Wake up. Uncle Andy won. 512 00:36:29,584 --> 00:36:32,585 Every time a Martian gets attacked by a toy, you drink! 513 00:36:36,327 --> 00:36:38,327 - Madison! - Straight line. 514 00:36:38,362 --> 00:36:39,955 I forgot to pack my toothbrush. 515 00:36:39,990 --> 00:36:42,958 Okay. That's a lot of information. Just keep going. 516 00:36:42,993 --> 00:36:45,565 - I can do it myself! - No, Jimmy! Be careful! Just... 517 00:36:45,732 --> 00:36:46,831 Oh, don't forget... 518 00:36:46,867 --> 00:36:48,370 Shit! 519 00:36:48,405 --> 00:36:50,207 Yeah. That. 520 00:36:50,341 --> 00:36:51,670 I'm okay! 521 00:37:21,603 --> 00:37:24,901 Hey, kiddo. I thought you went to bed. 522 00:37:27,609 --> 00:37:30,544 I, uh, haven't heard you play in a while. 523 00:37:31,778 --> 00:37:33,283 Forgot how much I missed it. 524 00:37:34,044 --> 00:37:35,516 Thanks. 525 00:37:39,852 --> 00:37:41,753 So how's our young Jimmy? 526 00:37:42,459 --> 00:37:44,624 Alive. For now. 527 00:37:51,402 --> 00:37:52,500 What's on your mind? 528 00:37:56,033 --> 00:37:59,540 Maybe my mom was right. 529 00:38:00,642 --> 00:38:01,541 Probably. 530 00:38:01,577 --> 00:38:04,479 She thinks Jimmy's too immature for me. 531 00:38:06,648 --> 00:38:07,746 What do you think? 532 00:38:08,045 --> 00:38:10,584 - I asked you first. - You did? 533 00:38:10,949 --> 00:38:13,323 Well, do you think that Jimmy's too immature? 534 00:38:14,953 --> 00:38:18,493 I do not think that Jimmy is too immature for someone who 535 00:38:18,528 --> 00:38:21,562 does not go to school and does not have a job. 536 00:38:22,763 --> 00:38:24,532 I knew it. My mom was wrong. 537 00:38:24,897 --> 00:38:26,402 Huh. 538 00:38:26,635 --> 00:38:29,702 Come on! Remind me why you're with him again? 539 00:38:31,035 --> 00:38:34,443 - He's funny. - Yeah, he's amusing sometimes. 540 00:38:34,940 --> 00:38:37,908 - But he doesn't realize it. - Okay. But that 541 00:38:38,108 --> 00:38:43,320 is probably because he does not care what other people think. 542 00:38:43,817 --> 00:38:45,685 Yes, and that was cute when he was 10. 543 00:38:50,857 --> 00:38:53,022 You know, a first love is complicated. 544 00:38:53,860 --> 00:38:55,827 Especially with someone you grew up with. 545 00:39:04,607 --> 00:39:05,738 Phone's dead. 546 00:39:07,445 --> 00:39:08,444 You'll be fine. 547 00:39:09,447 --> 00:39:11,348 I've lived my whole life without a cell phone. 548 00:39:11,977 --> 00:39:14,846 - And I've somehow survived without it. - Hm. 549 00:39:17,818 --> 00:39:18,817 You know who made that? 550 00:39:19,754 --> 00:39:21,490 Yeah, my dad. 551 00:39:23,725 --> 00:39:24,757 You remember him? 552 00:39:27,091 --> 00:39:28,365 Yeah. 553 00:39:30,567 --> 00:39:36,505 I mean, they're faint memories, but they exist. 554 00:39:40,907 --> 00:39:42,742 Yeah. Sure. 555 00:39:50,180 --> 00:39:51,817 Guess that's your cue to go up to bed. 556 00:39:53,018 --> 00:39:55,018 I'll take the first watch down here. 557 00:39:55,691 --> 00:39:59,055 And I will take the first shift watching Jimmy. 558 00:39:59,761 --> 00:40:00,892 Good. 559 00:40:04,029 --> 00:40:06,700 Oh, uh, Uncle Andy? 560 00:40:07,934 --> 00:40:10,902 Thanks again. For everything. 561 00:40:13,478 --> 00:40:14,543 Anytime. 562 00:40:56,983 --> 00:40:59,456 Do you think that one looks like an empty summer home? 563 00:41:01,823 --> 00:41:03,724 Fuck, is that light always on? 564 00:41:04,562 --> 00:41:06,727 Mm. I don't remember. 565 00:41:08,225 --> 00:41:09,730 What about that one? 566 00:41:11,536 --> 00:41:13,701 Yeah, I think they live in Chicago. 567 00:41:15,133 --> 00:41:16,231 All right. 568 00:42:50,096 --> 00:42:51,634 - Shit! - Just stay there. 569 00:42:51,669 --> 00:42:52,767 We thought no one was in the house. 570 00:43:09,654 --> 00:43:11,819 Get back over here. Get over here! 571 00:43:13,724 --> 00:43:14,987 Sit down, old man! 572 00:43:15,726 --> 00:43:17,319 How many other people are in the house? 573 00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:20,058 Just me. 574 00:43:24,163 --> 00:43:25,800 So, what now? 575 00:43:47,758 --> 00:43:49,758 Shhhh, shhhhh. 576 00:43:50,156 --> 00:43:52,123 Okay, how drunk are you? 577 00:43:53,159 --> 00:43:54,559 - Mm. - Okay. 578 00:43:54,594 --> 00:43:56,798 I'm going to take my hand off your mouth, but you have to be quiet. 579 00:43:57,262 --> 00:43:58,800 - We're being robbed. - What? 580 00:43:58,835 --> 00:43:59,834 Jimmy! 581 00:44:02,036 --> 00:44:04,773 Okay. I need your phone. I'm gonna call 911. 582 00:44:08,075 --> 00:44:09,778 And your phone is dead. 583 00:44:10,143 --> 00:44:13,177 Yeah. It's my bedtime story. It helps me sleep. 584 00:44:14,180 --> 00:44:16,345 Okay. Um, I'll just drive to the police station. 585 00:44:16,721 --> 00:44:18,215 - I got our coats. Come on. - Okay. 586 00:44:20,791 --> 00:44:22,659 Hands! Hands! 587 00:44:27,930 --> 00:44:29,127 All right. 588 00:44:34,805 --> 00:44:36,805 Ooh, why don't we try this sheepshank one? 589 00:44:37,071 --> 00:44:38,741 - Huh? - The sheepshank. 590 00:44:39,403 --> 00:44:41,304 I know how to tie a fucking knot! 591 00:44:44,177 --> 00:44:45,209 Okay. 592 00:44:50,447 --> 00:44:51,688 Madison! 593 00:45:03,229 --> 00:45:05,702 Okay! Jimmy, toss me the keys. 594 00:45:08,003 --> 00:45:10,069 Are you serious? Okay. 595 00:45:11,468 --> 00:45:12,467 All right. 596 00:45:14,207 --> 00:45:15,371 Jimmy. 597 00:45:15,505 --> 00:45:17,109 These are not Andy's keys. 598 00:45:18,981 --> 00:45:21,344 Fuck! They're not? 599 00:45:21,379 --> 00:45:23,852 In what world do you think that these are Andy's keys? 600 00:45:24,118 --> 00:45:27,350 I'm sorry. Can we still use them? 601 00:45:27,385 --> 00:45:29,154 No. we cannot still use... 602 00:45:31,994 --> 00:45:32,993 What? 603 00:45:38,528 --> 00:45:40,330 I don't... I don't understand. 604 00:45:40,365 --> 00:45:42,200 - What's wrong? - I don't know. 605 00:45:42,235 --> 00:45:46,006 Oh, shit. It's a stick. Umm. Do you know how to drive stick? 606 00:45:47,009 --> 00:45:48,844 No. Do you? 607 00:45:49,407 --> 00:45:50,473 No, of course not. 608 00:45:50,508 --> 00:45:52,309 Why else would I ask you if I knew how to drive... 609 00:45:52,344 --> 00:45:53,410 - Holy shit! - Get out of my truck! 610 00:45:53,445 --> 00:45:56,181 - It's the fucking Hodags again! - Okay, okay! Okay. 611 00:45:56,216 --> 00:45:57,479 Get the hell out of my truck! 612 00:46:00,088 --> 00:46:02,121 You're really gonna want to get out now! 613 00:46:04,424 --> 00:46:07,159 Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Fuck! Fuck! 614 00:46:09,295 --> 00:46:12,428 Get the fuck out of my goddamned truck. 615 00:46:15,037 --> 00:46:16,168 Now. 616 00:46:23,914 --> 00:46:26,013 All right. Give me your cell phone. 617 00:46:26,048 --> 00:46:27,114 They're dead. You don't have to... 618 00:46:27,149 --> 00:46:28,917 - Even better. Give it to me anyway. - You too! 619 00:46:29,447 --> 00:46:31,887 - I don't have a cell phone. - That's impossible. 620 00:46:33,451 --> 00:46:34,549 I really don't. 621 00:46:36,190 --> 00:46:37,189 He's telling the truth. 622 00:46:37,587 --> 00:46:39,158 What? I don't understand that. 623 00:46:39,193 --> 00:46:40,555 How can you just not have a phone? 624 00:46:40,590 --> 00:46:43,525 Fuck. We don't have enough rope to tie everyone up. 625 00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:47,199 Well, um, why don't we just tie his shoelaces together? 626 00:46:47,333 --> 00:46:49,135 There's more rope in the garage. 627 00:46:50,204 --> 00:46:51,335 Okay. 628 00:46:54,307 --> 00:46:57,440 Just stay here. Watch them. Nobody moves. 629 00:46:57,475 --> 00:46:58,540 Yeah. Okay. 630 00:46:59,444 --> 00:47:00,949 Nobody moves! 631 00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:16,932 You know, I actually have to say I kind of appreciate 632 00:47:16,967 --> 00:47:19,264 how cooperative you guys are being, 'cause, to be honest, 633 00:47:19,299 --> 00:47:22,872 this is my first time ever having a hostage. 634 00:47:29,243 --> 00:47:30,407 So, um... 635 00:47:31,610 --> 00:47:34,246 have any of you guys ever been robbed before or anything? 636 00:47:34,512 --> 00:47:36,886 - Well, this is the second time I've been robbed. - Oh. 637 00:47:36,921 --> 00:47:39,218 But the first time I've ever been held hostage. 638 00:47:39,484 --> 00:47:41,957 Oh cool, cool. That's cool. 639 00:47:44,489 --> 00:47:45,521 Umm... 640 00:47:47,932 --> 00:47:51,626 Wait a second. I feel like I've seen you guys before somewhere. 641 00:47:51,661 --> 00:47:55,102 Oh, that's, uh, weird. 642 00:47:55,137 --> 00:47:58,974 Hey, listen, I... I just, I'm gonna be honest, you know, 643 00:47:59,009 --> 00:48:01,977 since this is your first hostage thing. 644 00:48:02,012 --> 00:48:05,607 So this rope that's tying my legs together, 645 00:48:05,642 --> 00:48:06,982 it seems a little loose. 646 00:48:07,215 --> 00:48:09,413 - Really? - Yeah, I um... 647 00:48:09,646 --> 00:48:11,921 I don't think he did a great job with the knot. 648 00:48:12,088 --> 00:48:15,056 Hm. Yeah, the knot's no good. You should've used a square knot. 649 00:48:15,289 --> 00:48:16,519 Square knot? 650 00:48:16,554 --> 00:48:18,092 - I can teach you. - Yeah? 651 00:48:19,293 --> 00:48:20,292 Okay! 652 00:48:21,966 --> 00:48:24,659 Now you take one end in each hand. 653 00:48:24,694 --> 00:48:28,971 - Okay. - And then you take the right end 654 00:48:29,666 --> 00:48:31,171 and throw it over the left. 655 00:48:31,206 --> 00:48:32,469 - Right over left. - Yeah. 656 00:48:33,439 --> 00:48:34,911 And then pull it under. 657 00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:38,013 And then take the left end and cross it over the right 658 00:48:38,048 --> 00:48:39,179 and then pull that under. 659 00:48:40,248 --> 00:48:43,018 Yeah, that's great. Oh. That's amazing. Good job! 660 00:48:43,053 --> 00:48:44,613 Yeah. And then you pull both ends. 661 00:48:45,055 --> 00:48:46,188 Pull both ends. Cool! 662 00:48:46,223 --> 00:48:49,222 It's really simple but it looks really fancy! Aw, good! 663 00:48:49,455 --> 00:48:51,620 Hey baby, I made a triangle knot! 664 00:48:51,655 --> 00:48:53,391 - Square knot. - A square knot! 665 00:48:53,624 --> 00:48:55,261 Where the fuck is the other kid? 666 00:48:55,428 --> 00:48:57,395 - Oh, he was here just a second ago! - Fuck! 667 00:49:00,466 --> 00:49:01,465 Don't shoot! 668 00:49:05,537 --> 00:49:06,635 Get back over here! 669 00:49:07,838 --> 00:49:10,705 - What the fuck was that? - It was just a party popper. 670 00:49:10,740 --> 00:49:13,246 - A party popper? - It's a homemade alarm system. 671 00:49:13,413 --> 00:49:15,149 Yeah, we set them up all over the house. 672 00:49:15,184 --> 00:49:17,019 Oh, that's actually a really good idea. 673 00:49:17,054 --> 00:49:18,185 Oh, is it? 674 00:49:18,550 --> 00:49:21,617 So there's more of these? Jesus. 675 00:49:22,059 --> 00:49:24,422 Here, tie him up with that fancy new knot you just learned. 676 00:49:25,623 --> 00:49:26,622 It's a square knot. 677 00:49:28,131 --> 00:49:31,099 Um, okay, if you could just have a seat. 678 00:49:31,134 --> 00:49:33,299 Uh, sure. Right here? Yeah, okay. 679 00:49:35,732 --> 00:49:37,633 Shit! 680 00:49:48,145 --> 00:49:51,350 Right over left. Left over right. 681 00:49:51,385 --> 00:49:53,121 Goddamn it! 682 00:49:53,156 --> 00:49:55,618 Air horn?! Air horn?! 683 00:49:55,653 --> 00:49:57,191 I'm gonna kill that kid. 684 00:49:57,226 --> 00:49:58,390 That looks kinda good. 685 00:49:59,393 --> 00:50:00,997 I'm kinda proud of myself. 686 00:50:01,395 --> 00:50:03,725 You little shit! 687 00:50:04,266 --> 00:50:05,661 Outside. Now! 688 00:50:15,145 --> 00:50:18,146 Guys, those are the Hodags! 689 00:50:18,676 --> 00:50:21,380 - What Hodags? - You know Hodags aren't real. 690 00:50:21,415 --> 00:50:23,811 No, I know that Hodags aren't real. 691 00:50:23,846 --> 00:50:27,650 Those are the Hodag masks that I saw at the Beckers' last night. 692 00:50:28,389 --> 00:50:30,059 Yeah, Jimmy! 693 00:50:30,226 --> 00:50:33,524 I think we all kind of figured they were the same robbers. 694 00:50:33,559 --> 00:50:39,596 Yeah. But now you know I didn't make the Hodag thing up. 695 00:50:39,763 --> 00:50:42,500 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. 696 00:50:44,438 --> 00:50:46,438 So what's our next move? 697 00:50:46,836 --> 00:50:48,242 We're going to cooperate. 698 00:50:48,277 --> 00:50:49,276 - What? - What?! 699 00:50:49,312 --> 00:50:51,740 I just really feel like we could fix it. 700 00:50:52,116 --> 00:50:53,643 It's such a tiny little bullet hole. 701 00:50:53,678 --> 00:50:55,546 I'm not gonna patch tires with duct tape 702 00:50:55,581 --> 00:50:57,185 like a fucking asshole! 703 00:50:58,488 --> 00:51:00,650 There's a tube of super glue in that bin that might be of use. 704 00:51:02,291 --> 00:51:04,192 - Thank you! - Yeah. 705 00:51:06,856 --> 00:51:09,131 - What? - Just go outside. 706 00:51:15,205 --> 00:51:18,602 So we're just gonna sit here and watch them rob our house? 707 00:51:19,341 --> 00:51:22,309 - They have a gun, Madison. - We have a BB gun! 708 00:51:22,344 --> 00:51:26,181 We are going to cooperate so the situation doesn't escalate. 709 00:51:36,721 --> 00:51:39,557 This isn't working. How are we gonna get to New Orleans? 710 00:51:39,592 --> 00:51:41,328 New Orleans? You're worried about New Orleans, baby? 711 00:51:41,363 --> 00:51:43,264 I'm worried about how we get out of the fucking driveway! 712 00:51:43,299 --> 00:51:45,596 Can't we... can't we just take their truck? 713 00:51:45,631 --> 00:51:48,368 And leave ours for the police to find it? Come on. 714 00:51:50,372 --> 00:51:52,768 What is this? What are you doing? 715 00:51:54,178 --> 00:51:55,870 I am going to make this worth our time. 716 00:51:55,905 --> 00:51:57,113 What are you... 717 00:51:57,643 --> 00:51:59,181 What is... 718 00:52:15,793 --> 00:52:16,792 Not the canoe! 719 00:52:18,829 --> 00:52:19,861 Please? 720 00:52:20,402 --> 00:52:21,201 Huh? 721 00:52:22,272 --> 00:52:24,767 My dad, um, made that for me. Just... 722 00:52:24,802 --> 00:52:27,143 it's not worth anything. I swear. 723 00:52:36,220 --> 00:52:37,219 Thank you. 724 00:52:46,593 --> 00:52:50,694 Uh, could you leave Santa Clause Conquers the Martians? 725 00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:52,795 - Seriously? - What? 726 00:52:53,435 --> 00:52:54,533 It's a really good movie. 727 00:52:56,702 --> 00:52:57,501 Doesn't sound that great. 728 00:52:57,967 --> 00:52:59,670 Oh, it's actually highly entertaining. 729 00:52:59,705 --> 00:53:01,573 Yeah. Okay. 730 00:53:02,312 --> 00:53:03,872 Yes. 731 00:53:04,578 --> 00:53:07,183 Super glue doesn't do shit! 732 00:53:07,845 --> 00:53:09,515 You... you could use the spare tire. 733 00:53:09,550 --> 00:53:10,681 I only have one. 734 00:53:10,848 --> 00:53:12,452 But I also have one. 735 00:53:12,784 --> 00:53:15,422 I believe my car keys are on the kitchen counter. 736 00:53:16,788 --> 00:53:19,624 Shit. Yeah. That'll work. 737 00:53:21,595 --> 00:53:23,727 Missed one. Give me this. 738 00:54:23,019 --> 00:54:24,920 Did you guys also want some water? 739 00:54:25,527 --> 00:54:27,659 - Sure! - That would be awesome. 740 00:54:32,435 --> 00:54:37,031 Okay. Oh! Uh, okay. Here we go. And... 741 00:54:39,937 --> 00:54:43,037 Okay, all right, let's see. 742 00:54:46,515 --> 00:54:47,745 - Aw! - Some for you. 743 00:54:47,780 --> 00:54:48,911 Thank you! 744 00:54:48,946 --> 00:54:49,812 - Oh. - Awesome. 745 00:54:50,453 --> 00:54:52,453 - Very much appreciated. - For you! 746 00:54:54,050 --> 00:54:56,325 Okay, yeah! That's good. 747 00:55:01,024 --> 00:55:02,958 Oh. Uh... 748 00:55:04,533 --> 00:55:05,532 That's not gonna work. 749 00:55:05,568 --> 00:55:08,799 - Um. - You know what? There... there's straws, 750 00:55:08,834 --> 00:55:10,966 uh, in the drawer under the microwave. 751 00:55:15,577 --> 00:55:17,412 - Oh, my God, she's so nice! - Mm-hm. 752 00:55:26,390 --> 00:55:27,818 - Oh! - Found 'em! 753 00:55:27,853 --> 00:55:30,920 - Aw, that is so sweet! - Thank you! 754 00:55:30,955 --> 00:55:32,592 - Very kind of you. - And... 755 00:55:33,595 --> 00:55:36,596 There and perfect! There we go. 756 00:55:37,467 --> 00:55:38,829 That's good, so... 757 00:55:42,032 --> 00:55:45,374 Oh. I guess that's not really much better. 758 00:55:45,805 --> 00:55:50,874 No. Perhaps if you move those stools from the other room 759 00:55:51,481 --> 00:55:55,109 in front of us, it might be a good height for the straws. 760 00:55:55,881 --> 00:55:59,487 That's a great idea! Yeah! Okay. 761 00:56:00,622 --> 00:56:02,490 - In here? - Yeah. 762 00:56:02,954 --> 00:56:06,626 That was a great idea. I get it. 763 00:56:06,892 --> 00:56:08,529 - There you go. - Okay! 764 00:56:08,993 --> 00:56:10,366 That's great. 765 00:56:12,700 --> 00:56:14,865 Uh. Can you hold this for me? 766 00:56:17,903 --> 00:56:19,375 And then we'll do this guy. 767 00:56:20,477 --> 00:56:21,608 - Here. - Nice! 768 00:56:21,643 --> 00:56:22,774 And uh... 769 00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:24,138 Thank you! 770 00:56:25,541 --> 00:56:28,945 This guy, and then, oh yeah! That's like, perfect. 771 00:56:28,980 --> 00:56:31,519 There ya go! Yeah! 772 00:56:32,115 --> 00:56:33,884 - I like your necklace. - Mm? 773 00:56:33,919 --> 00:56:35,391 Oh, thank you! 774 00:56:35,624 --> 00:56:37,151 - Can I have it? - What? Oh, uh. 775 00:56:37,186 --> 00:56:39,461 Well, Jimmy gave it to me. 776 00:56:39,496 --> 00:56:40,762 Oh, you can just give it to her. 777 00:56:40,798 --> 00:56:42,662 I got it out of a vending machine. 778 00:56:42,697 --> 00:56:44,664 - I'm sorry, you what? - Oh, boy. 779 00:56:46,063 --> 00:56:47,161 What the hell is this? 780 00:56:47,196 --> 00:56:48,899 Well, they were thirsty. So I... 781 00:56:48,934 --> 00:56:50,164 What? 782 00:56:50,199 --> 00:56:51,803 Well, I didn't want to be rude! 783 00:56:53,675 --> 00:56:56,841 Any... any more rude. You know? 784 00:56:57,481 --> 00:56:59,910 Baby, please. We are almost out of here. 785 00:57:00,209 --> 00:57:03,144 Just grab some more pillow cases and meet me in the garage. 786 00:57:09,053 --> 00:57:11,185 Hey, so. What was the plan with the stools? 787 00:57:11,693 --> 00:57:12,956 What? 788 00:57:14,292 --> 00:57:16,828 The stools? Didn't you have her move them over here so we could 789 00:57:16,863 --> 00:57:18,027 do something with them? 790 00:57:18,062 --> 00:57:21,063 Listen to me, we are going to cooperate. 791 00:57:21,263 --> 00:57:23,769 Okay, Uncle Andy. Let me ask you this. 792 00:57:23,804 --> 00:57:25,067 What happens if that guy snaps? 793 00:57:27,709 --> 00:57:29,544 Do you have those pocket knives I gave you? 794 00:57:29,942 --> 00:57:31,678 - Yeah! - All right, now. 795 00:57:32,175 --> 00:57:33,911 Give me one just in case. 796 00:57:33,946 --> 00:57:35,077 - Yeah. It's in my back pocket. - All right. 797 00:57:36,447 --> 00:57:37,849 Oh, you know what? I'm kinda sitting on it. Let me just... hang on. 798 00:57:39,589 --> 00:57:40,688 Whoa! Jimmy, be careful! 799 00:57:41,052 --> 00:57:42,150 Jimmy, come back this way! 800 00:57:43,252 --> 00:57:44,757 Oh, oh. 801 00:57:44,924 --> 00:57:46,220 - Got it? - Okay. Got it! 802 00:57:46,255 --> 00:57:47,595 Yeah, right there. Okay! 803 00:57:55,231 --> 00:57:56,538 Ow! 804 00:57:56,573 --> 00:58:00,036 Ow! Oh! 805 00:58:00,269 --> 00:58:02,203 - Are you okay? - Is it bad? 806 00:58:02,238 --> 00:58:04,678 - Oh, that's a lot of blood. - Is it broken? 807 00:58:04,713 --> 00:58:07,076 - The fuck happened? - I got booby-trapped! 808 00:58:07,111 --> 00:58:08,242 You shouldn't have taken off your mask! 809 00:58:08,277 --> 00:58:09,749 What? 810 00:58:09,784 --> 00:58:11,586 Now they know who the fuck you are! 811 00:58:11,951 --> 00:58:13,852 Do you have any idea how fucked we are? 812 00:58:13,887 --> 00:58:16,591 They weren't... they're not gonna tell! 813 00:58:16,626 --> 00:58:18,725 - Oh, really? - We won't. We promise. 814 00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:20,562 - They're not gonna tell! - Stop! 815 00:58:20,597 --> 00:58:21,728 I can assure you we will not. 816 00:58:21,763 --> 00:58:23,290 I'm actually terrible with faces. 817 00:58:23,325 --> 00:58:25,028 - See, we're good! - No! 818 00:58:25,932 --> 00:58:27,030 Now we need to... 819 00:58:28,297 --> 00:58:29,802 We need to talk in private. 820 00:58:38,043 --> 00:58:41,517 We need to get to the basement. 821 00:58:47,822 --> 00:58:49,756 Put that up to your nose. Come on, keep your head back. 822 00:58:52,354 --> 00:58:54,662 - Where are we going? - Just get in the truck. 823 00:58:59,196 --> 00:59:00,261 What are you doing? 824 00:59:02,672 --> 00:59:04,265 Just try not to get blood everywhere. 825 00:59:10,273 --> 00:59:12,680 Come on. Okay. Get in. 826 00:59:14,750 --> 00:59:16,783 Wait, wait, wait, wait! The BB gun! 827 00:59:16,818 --> 00:59:17,817 Where the hell is he going? 828 00:59:18,215 --> 00:59:19,687 I don't know! Jimmy! 829 00:59:21,317 --> 00:59:23,185 Where the fuck did you go? 830 00:59:23,759 --> 00:59:25,825 Do not make me look for you! 831 00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:41,940 Patrick, baby. What are you doing? 832 00:59:42,679 --> 00:59:43,678 I'm getting rid of them. 833 00:59:44,307 --> 00:59:45,581 Where are the others? 834 00:59:46,784 --> 00:59:47,979 I don't know. They must be hiding somewhere in the house. 835 00:59:49,719 --> 00:59:50,817 Wait! 836 00:59:50,852 --> 00:59:53,347 Um. We can't get rid of him now. 837 00:59:53,855 --> 00:59:55,624 'Cause they'll never come out if he's dead. 838 00:59:56,055 --> 00:59:59,320 Fuck. This situation is so fucked! 839 00:59:59,355 --> 01:00:01,861 I'm sorry. Okay, I'll fix it! 840 01:00:02,765 --> 01:00:06,195 Hey kids, you can come out because we have your dad. 841 01:00:06,230 --> 01:00:08,065 We have your fucking dad! 842 01:00:10,267 --> 01:00:12,201 How do you check for a pulse again? 843 01:00:18,011 --> 01:00:20,143 He's just unconscious. 844 01:00:22,719 --> 01:00:23,982 Maybe they're upstairs. 845 01:00:30,287 --> 01:00:32,221 Okay, here's our chance. 846 01:00:32,256 --> 01:00:34,388 We'll get out and we'll get Andy, okay? 847 01:00:37,294 --> 01:00:39,734 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me try. 848 01:00:39,769 --> 01:00:41,296 Shit. 849 01:00:43,003 --> 01:00:44,970 Just stop. Okay. You're going to make too much noise. Okay? 850 01:00:45,005 --> 01:00:46,169 The bedroom door is probably open. 851 01:00:47,304 --> 01:00:48,402 Shit. 852 01:00:49,438 --> 01:00:50,844 Okay. Um... 853 01:00:51,143 --> 01:00:52,747 Fuck. Fuck. 854 01:00:54,949 --> 01:00:57,015 Look, is there another way out of here? 855 01:00:57,050 --> 01:00:58,412 No, there's not another way out of here. 856 01:00:59,052 --> 01:01:00,656 Well, then what the fuck are we supposed to do? 857 01:01:03,760 --> 01:01:05,793 We're gonna wait. Yeah. That's it. 858 01:01:05,927 --> 01:01:06,926 We're just gonna wait. 859 01:01:08,362 --> 01:01:09,896 We're gonna wait and, um, and the robbers are gonna leave eventually. 860 01:01:09,931 --> 01:01:11,326 And... and Andy will wake up. 861 01:01:12,934 --> 01:01:15,132 Andy's definitely gonna wake up. And, uh... 862 01:01:15,167 --> 01:01:17,871 - No. I've got an idea. - What? 863 01:01:17,906 --> 01:01:19,466 I'm gonna shoot through the ceiling as a distraction. 864 01:01:19,501 --> 01:01:21,171 - You're gonna run up the stairs when they open the door... 865 01:01:21,206 --> 01:01:23,173 Jimmy! Jimmy! Just stop! Okay? Just stop! 866 01:01:23,747 --> 01:01:28,013 I am so sick of your stupid ideas that always end up 867 01:01:28,048 --> 01:01:30,048 with you hurting yourself or someone else getting hurt. 868 01:01:31,117 --> 01:01:34,789 I'm sorry. I'm just trying to help us out of a deadly 869 01:01:34,824 --> 01:01:36,023 - situation where someone... - Okay, look. You know what... 870 01:01:36,059 --> 01:01:36,991 - ...is trying to shoot us. - ...would help? You know what 871 01:01:37,026 --> 01:01:39,288 would help? Is if you acted like an adult 872 01:01:39,323 --> 01:01:41,191 for five fucking seconds. 873 01:01:41,930 --> 01:01:43,798 - I do act like an adult! I have a job. - Shhh! 874 01:01:43,833 --> 01:01:44,966 I have a job. 875 01:01:45,001 --> 01:01:47,461 I go to work. You just sit here and write letters about 876 01:01:47,496 --> 01:01:49,738 your fucking stupid goldfish! 877 01:01:49,773 --> 01:01:53,071 You have a job? You deliver weed. They pay you in edibles. 878 01:01:53,106 --> 01:01:55,172 Yeah. They do pay me in edibles. Edibles that you happily eat. 879 01:01:55,207 --> 01:01:56,039 I don't need edibles to be happy. 880 01:01:56,075 --> 01:01:57,207 What do you need to be happy, Madison? 881 01:01:57,243 --> 01:01:59,176 Because all I'm trying to do is fucking make you happy. 882 01:02:03,820 --> 01:02:05,248 I just want to make you happy. 883 01:02:07,384 --> 01:02:09,087 And apparently I can't do that anymore 884 01:02:09,122 --> 01:02:10,990 no matter how hard I try. So. 885 01:02:36,413 --> 01:02:39,018 I had no idea I was making you feel like this. 886 01:02:41,957 --> 01:02:42,956 Yeah. 887 01:02:46,357 --> 01:02:48,027 We're gonna need each other 888 01:02:49,932 --> 01:02:51,866 if we're gonna make it through the rest of the night. 889 01:03:01,471 --> 01:03:02,811 So what now? 890 01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:05,308 Um... 891 01:03:07,411 --> 01:03:08,410 We wait. 892 01:03:11,547 --> 01:03:13,052 And hope that Andy wakes up. 893 01:05:20,181 --> 01:05:22,577 Hey, Patrick. Can you come here, please? 894 01:05:28,189 --> 01:05:29,518 I think he's still alive. 895 01:05:32,358 --> 01:05:35,194 If you find the others, just shoot them. 896 01:05:36,428 --> 01:05:37,427 Where are you going? 897 01:05:38,595 --> 01:05:39,935 To get rid of him. 898 01:05:48,605 --> 01:05:52,013 Uh. Okay. We... we have to get out of here. 899 01:05:52,048 --> 01:05:54,048 We have to get out of here now. 900 01:05:55,348 --> 01:05:56,578 I think I can break this open. 901 01:05:56,613 --> 01:05:58,448 What the hell are you doing? Jimmy? Ugh! 902 01:05:58,483 --> 01:06:00,087 Shit! 903 01:06:00,353 --> 01:06:02,221 Can't you... 904 01:06:05,226 --> 01:06:06,621 I know you're in there. 905 01:06:07,492 --> 01:06:08,590 They found the trap door. 906 01:06:37,093 --> 01:06:38,389 I'm coming in! 907 01:07:10,093 --> 01:07:11,290 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 908 01:07:11,688 --> 01:07:12,687 We should just wait it out. 909 01:07:14,163 --> 01:07:15,529 They'll never find us down here. 910 01:07:15,565 --> 01:07:17,659 And then we can figure out how to open the door when they're gone. 911 01:07:20,169 --> 01:07:21,168 This was your plan. 912 01:07:25,405 --> 01:07:26,437 I know. 913 01:07:27,673 --> 01:07:29,143 We have to help Andy, okay. We can't just wait here anymore. 914 01:07:29,178 --> 01:07:30,408 Madison, Madison! 915 01:07:41,817 --> 01:07:43,190 Hello? 916 01:07:45,128 --> 01:07:46,127 Hello. 917 01:07:48,593 --> 01:07:50,065 My name's Madison. 918 01:07:52,267 --> 01:07:53,266 Okay. 919 01:07:54,533 --> 01:07:56,830 My boyfriend's name is Jimmy, 920 01:07:56,865 --> 01:07:59,074 and my uncle's name is Andy. 921 01:07:59,802 --> 01:08:02,572 He's your uncle? I... I thought that was your dad. 922 01:08:03,212 --> 01:08:07,346 Oh. You know what? I could see how that would be confusing. 923 01:08:07,480 --> 01:08:08,479 Yeah. 924 01:08:09,713 --> 01:08:10,745 So... 925 01:08:12,155 --> 01:08:14,551 Patrick. Is he your boyfriend? 926 01:08:16,357 --> 01:08:17,554 Yeah. 927 01:08:18,920 --> 01:08:20,458 What was your name again? 928 01:08:21,890 --> 01:08:23,362 Christine. 929 01:08:27,269 --> 01:08:31,106 Christine, you don't... have to do this. 930 01:08:32,208 --> 01:08:34,109 What other choice do I have? 931 01:08:38,379 --> 01:08:39,642 Well, what do you want? 932 01:08:40,612 --> 01:08:42,381 Well, I don't want to go to jail. 933 01:08:43,351 --> 01:08:47,650 You won't. No, I promise, we would all testify for you. 934 01:08:49,258 --> 01:08:52,820 We just have to stop Patrick and help my uncle. 935 01:08:53,592 --> 01:08:55,790 He's... he's really angry. You don't... 936 01:08:56,595 --> 01:08:58,397 You don't know what it's like when he's angry. 937 01:09:14,514 --> 01:09:16,382 Why are you with him? 938 01:09:19,948 --> 01:09:22,190 He takes care of me, I guess. 939 01:09:24,557 --> 01:09:26,359 Why are you with your boyfriend? 940 01:09:27,824 --> 01:09:28,823 He's fun. 941 01:09:29,694 --> 01:09:31,027 Oh. Okay. 942 01:09:33,665 --> 01:09:37,271 I bet it's really fun to have somebody else to boss around, huh? 943 01:09:38,835 --> 01:09:41,308 Oh Christine. Christine, don't cry, okay! 944 01:09:41,640 --> 01:09:43,277 Everything's gonna be fine. 945 01:09:43,444 --> 01:09:44,674 It's gonna be okay. 946 01:09:45,843 --> 01:09:48,546 - Okay. - We just need to help my uncle. 947 01:09:55,423 --> 01:09:56,521 Okay. 948 01:10:05,433 --> 01:10:06,465 Where are you? 949 01:10:08,865 --> 01:10:12,207 Oh, yeah. Um, we're under the bedroom door. 950 01:10:13,342 --> 01:10:14,341 What? 951 01:10:14,574 --> 01:10:15,606 How is that possible? 952 01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:18,840 You know, just, just close the bedroom door. 953 01:10:31,492 --> 01:10:32,887 Okay. It's closed. 954 01:10:36,299 --> 01:10:38,332 Has that been here the whole time? 955 01:10:38,367 --> 01:10:40,301 Yeah. It's crazy, right? 956 01:10:40,336 --> 01:10:41,830 - Okay, Jimmy. You got this? - Yeah! 957 01:10:41,865 --> 01:10:43,469 - I need the rifle. - No! 958 01:10:43,504 --> 01:10:45,339 No, no! It's gonna be fine. Okay? I'm not... 959 01:10:45,374 --> 01:10:46,670 I'm not gonna hurt Patrick. Okay? 960 01:10:46,837 --> 01:10:48,507 I'm not gonna hurt him. Just... 961 01:10:48,905 --> 01:10:51,004 Okay. Call 911. All right? 962 01:10:51,039 --> 01:10:52,610 Just tell them you need an ambulance! 963 01:11:09,398 --> 01:11:10,397 Stop! 964 01:11:13,633 --> 01:11:14,665 Where's Andy? 965 01:11:17,098 --> 01:11:18,405 He's in the canoe. 966 01:11:42,959 --> 01:11:43,958 Drop the axe. 967 01:11:45,731 --> 01:11:46,763 Why? 968 01:11:47,568 --> 01:11:48,567 'Cause it's over. 969 01:11:51,836 --> 01:11:52,934 Really? 970 01:11:52,969 --> 01:11:55,673 Yeah. Christine called the cops. 971 01:11:55,708 --> 01:11:58,038 Yeah. So you might as well give up now, Patty-boy. 972 01:12:00,581 --> 01:12:01,811 Christine would never do that. 973 01:12:02,077 --> 01:12:04,385 Oh, well she did. 974 01:12:04,717 --> 01:12:07,751 In fact, you're gonna hear a siren going any minute now. 975 01:12:13,957 --> 01:12:15,462 The police are still coming. 976 01:12:15,860 --> 01:12:19,367 She... she definitely called them before she left. 977 01:12:22,031 --> 01:12:23,437 So what's the plan? 978 01:12:24,440 --> 01:12:26,099 We stand here until the police never come? 979 01:12:26,134 --> 01:12:27,672 See who gets hypothermia first? 980 01:12:29,445 --> 01:12:30,543 I bet you'll be the first 981 01:12:30,578 --> 01:12:32,006 to lose feeling in your little fingers. 982 01:12:32,910 --> 01:12:35,042 Well, if we get too cold, we could just shoot you. 983 01:12:35,484 --> 01:12:36,846 Yeah, we'll just shoot you. 984 01:12:37,585 --> 01:12:38,716 With your BB gun? 985 01:12:39,147 --> 01:12:42,082 How did you...? But it looks so real! 986 01:12:42,623 --> 01:12:44,018 I could always shoot you with your gun. 987 01:12:45,758 --> 01:12:46,757 Yeah. 988 01:12:49,025 --> 01:12:51,366 Don't come any closer. No! 989 01:12:51,731 --> 01:12:54,501 I will shoot you. Do not come any closer. 990 01:12:57,836 --> 01:12:59,440 I don't believe you have it in you. 991 01:13:02,709 --> 01:13:04,808 You see I've known people like you my whole life. 992 01:13:04,975 --> 01:13:07,877 You never worked a day. You had everything handed to you. 993 01:13:09,650 --> 01:13:10,748 No. 994 01:13:11,784 --> 01:13:12,981 You're not gonna shoot me. 995 01:13:16,459 --> 01:13:18,118 Holy shit! I just shot him. 996 01:13:18,923 --> 01:13:20,527 Holy shit! You just shot him. 997 01:13:23,763 --> 01:13:25,059 Oh, my God, I just killed someone. 998 01:13:25,567 --> 01:13:26,731 You did just kill someone. 999 01:13:28,900 --> 01:13:30,603 Um, Andy? 1000 01:13:31,067 --> 01:13:33,507 Andy! Andy! Oh, my God. Are you okay? 1001 01:13:33,542 --> 01:13:34,541 Are you okay? 1002 01:13:35,071 --> 01:13:36,642 This guy is not okay. 1003 01:13:36,677 --> 01:13:38,611 Are you okay? You're, like, okay? 1004 01:13:38,646 --> 01:13:39,645 Okay. 1005 01:13:40,748 --> 01:13:41,878 Okay. Are you breathing? You're breathing. All right. 1006 01:13:41,913 --> 01:13:43,176 Quite the wound. 1007 01:13:43,211 --> 01:13:44,344 Okay. It's going to be okay. 1008 01:13:44,379 --> 01:13:47,048 I don't know what to do. I need, like, a pressure thing. 1009 01:13:47,787 --> 01:13:50,425 I don't know. Okay. 1010 01:13:51,219 --> 01:13:52,922 Oh, that was a noise! That's good. 1011 01:13:54,563 --> 01:13:57,795 Woah! Jimmy! What the fuck! 1012 01:13:57,962 --> 01:13:59,027 What are you doing? 1013 01:13:59,700 --> 01:14:00,897 I gotta get rid of the body! 1014 01:14:01,196 --> 01:14:03,570 What are you talking about? What? Why? 1015 01:14:04,100 --> 01:14:05,299 You always have to get rid of the bodies. 1016 01:14:07,708 --> 01:14:11,512 Okay. Now, we have to figure out how to clean up all the blood. 1017 01:14:11,547 --> 01:14:15,813 Jimmy, just... just... just stop. Okay? Just... just stop everything. 1018 01:14:18,554 --> 01:14:19,652 Oh. 1019 01:14:21,216 --> 01:14:22,985 I guess she did call the police. 1020 01:14:48,551 --> 01:14:51,486 Could you just explain to me one more time... 1021 01:14:53,556 --> 01:14:55,688 what the bubble wrap was supposed to do? 1022 01:14:57,087 --> 01:14:58,592 I just... I don't... 1023 01:15:02,092 --> 01:15:03,498 That's the part I don't get. 1024 01:15:08,164 --> 01:15:11,572 We were able to make our case that we acted in self-defense. 1025 01:15:11,970 --> 01:15:15,972 Though, Jimmy's case was a little more complicated. 1026 01:15:20,044 --> 01:15:22,011 Christine never made it to New Orleans. 1027 01:15:22,717 --> 01:15:24,882 She was spotted by state troopers and arrested 1028 01:15:24,917 --> 01:15:26,587 before she even got to Illinois. 1029 01:15:31,319 --> 01:15:34,023 Our parents not only forgave us for all of our stupidity 1030 01:15:34,058 --> 01:15:35,090 but... 1031 01:15:36,626 --> 01:15:39,028 they provided invaluable support that we gladly accepted 1032 01:15:39,063 --> 01:15:41,767 for the first time in a long time. 1033 01:15:49,073 --> 01:15:50,908 My Uncle Andy made a full recovery. 1034 01:15:51,845 --> 01:15:53,812 Well, basically. 1035 01:15:55,482 --> 01:15:58,212 Most nights I envy his inability to remember the robbery well. 1036 01:16:04,319 --> 01:16:05,318 Hey. 1037 01:16:06,695 --> 01:16:07,694 Hey. 1038 01:16:19,972 --> 01:16:20,971 Well, and... 1039 01:16:32,116 --> 01:16:34,655 It's incredible how the worst of times 1040 01:16:34,690 --> 01:16:36,118 can bring out the best in people. 1041 01:16:37,055 --> 01:16:39,352 I never expected that the worst night of my life 1042 01:16:39,387 --> 01:16:41,728 would help me discover my best self. 1043 01:16:42,126 --> 01:16:44,225 Though it was an unfortunate chance that Patrick 1044 01:16:44,260 --> 01:16:46,227 and Christine chose to rob our house, 1045 01:16:46,966 --> 01:16:49,263 we chose to take certain actions to... 1046 01:16:49,804 --> 01:16:50,803 Wait, we... 1047 01:16:51,739 --> 01:16:52,838 "We chose to take certain actions to..." 1048 01:16:52,873 --> 01:16:55,742 That is super awkward. Uh... 1049 01:16:59,748 --> 01:17:01,011 Oh. Okay. 1050 01:17:01,046 --> 01:17:04,685 "It was our..." 1051 01:17:07,085 --> 01:17:10,284 "It was our actions that got us out of the house alive." 1052 01:17:11,155 --> 01:17:12,154 Yeah. 1053 01:17:13,457 --> 01:17:16,257 "I realize this is probably not the answer you were expecting 1054 01:17:16,292 --> 01:17:17,962 when you posed the question, 1055 01:17:17,997 --> 01:17:20,767 'What is the biggest obstacle that you have overcome?' 1056 01:17:22,166 --> 01:17:25,266 But I assure you that I bring a unique life experience 1057 01:17:25,301 --> 01:17:27,675 and a proven ability to work with... 1058 01:17:29,877 --> 01:17:31,844 difficult people. 1059 01:17:33,276 --> 01:17:35,650 I have persevered through the darkest night, 1060 01:17:36,279 --> 01:17:38,246 and I am prepared for the challenges ahead." 1061 01:17:50,095 --> 01:17:51,798 Madison! 1062 01:18:02,542 --> 01:18:07,542 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 77919

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