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- ♪ I pull up ten deep ♪
2
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♪ I military the Jeep ♪
3
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♪ Summon the Grim Reaper ♪
4
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♪ Here's a message from me ♪
5
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♪ I know you thought
it's all sweet ♪
6
00:00:11,343 --> 00:00:13,093
♪ But it ain't ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪
7
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♪ The picture that you paint
don't quite fit the frame ♪
8
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♪ Yeah I go crazy ♪
9
00:00:16,388 --> 00:00:17,608
- Okay.
- ♪ I go stupid ♪
10
00:00:17,709 --> 00:00:19,289
♪ I go loco,
I go dumb ♪
11
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♪ It's all 'bout
where you at ♪
12
00:00:20,712 --> 00:00:21,732
- Transpo has arrived.
13
00:00:21,833 --> 00:00:24,503
I repeat, transpo has arrived.
14
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- Copy. I am en route.
I am en route.
15
00:00:27,879 --> 00:00:30,219
- ♪ Nah, I ain't the one,
I ain't the two ♪
16
00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:32,681
♪ You gon' mess around
and have me on the news ♪
17
00:00:34,605 --> 00:00:36,225
- You think anyone saw me?
- No. All clear.
18
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- All right, good,
'cause I'm a lawyer, you know.
19
00:00:37,368 --> 00:00:38,628
I--I uphold the law.
20
00:00:38,729 --> 00:00:40,349
- Yeah, as we break
into David's apartment.
21
00:00:40,451 --> 00:00:44,721
I cannot believe that I allowed
you guys to talk me into this.
22
00:00:44,815 --> 00:00:47,875
- This would've been a lot
cooler if it wasn't a minivan.
23
00:00:47,978 --> 00:00:49,878
- Okay, but it's gonna get us
to where we need to go, though.
24
00:00:49,980 --> 00:00:51,560
Okay?
- Damn, girl. You movin' in?
25
00:00:51,662 --> 00:00:54,122
- Hardly. Tools of the trade.
26
00:00:54,224 --> 00:00:57,014
I got a blacklight, luminol,
27
00:00:57,107 --> 00:01:00,247
rubber gloves,
magnifying glass, hazmat suit--
28
00:01:00,350 --> 00:01:02,250
- I'm sorry.
Is that a microscope?
29
00:01:02,352 --> 00:01:03,932
- No hunch too big.
No evidence too small.
30
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I like that.
31
00:01:05,115 --> 00:01:06,975
- Go! Go! Go!
- What?
32
00:01:07,077 --> 00:01:07,937
- What?
- What?
33
00:01:08,038 --> 00:01:09,658
[all screaming]
34
00:01:09,759 --> 00:01:11,259
- [laughs]
35
00:01:11,361 --> 00:01:12,821
I just always wanted
to do that.
36
00:01:12,922 --> 00:01:15,312
- Ohh, God, Hazel.
37
00:01:15,405 --> 00:01:19,225
- Whoo.
Oh, my God, Hazel.
38
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:22,109
- All right.
The men are confirmed gone.
39
00:01:22,212 --> 00:01:24,192
We got a long drive
and an investigation
40
00:01:24,294 --> 00:01:26,044
ahead of us, so let's roll.
41
00:01:26,135 --> 00:01:28,135
- Ladies, sunglasses.
42
00:01:31,821 --> 00:01:33,121
Oh, and seat belts.
Safety first, everybody.
43
00:01:33,222 --> 00:01:34,602
Seat belts.
- Oh yeah.
44
00:01:34,704 --> 00:01:36,814
- Gotta really give it some--
get into the slack.
45
00:01:36,906 --> 00:01:38,206
- Can't...
- Okay.
46
00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:39,607
- Just one second.
- Okay.
47
00:01:39,708 --> 00:01:41,288
- Let's go!
48
00:01:41,390 --> 00:01:43,970
- ♪ Beep-beep, is that
my bestie in a Tessie? ♪
49
00:01:44,073 --> 00:01:45,253
[tires squealing]
50
00:01:45,354 --> 00:01:46,464
- Skin on tan,
ooh, she ready ♪
51
00:01:46,555 --> 00:01:48,735
♪ You look goodt,
with a T at the end ♪
52
00:01:48,837 --> 00:01:52,377
♪ I'ma hype her every time,
that my mother[...] friend ♪
53
00:01:52,481 --> 00:01:54,381
♪ ♪
54
00:01:54,483 --> 00:01:56,833
- Gotta disable that.
55
00:01:56,925 --> 00:01:59,985
Gotta disconnect that.
And gotta hack that.
56
00:02:00,088 --> 00:02:02,028
- Damn, kids today really know
their tech.
57
00:02:02,130 --> 00:02:03,870
I could barely work a Roku.
58
00:02:03,972 --> 00:02:05,872
- David and Gary's
last scheduled event
59
00:02:05,974 --> 00:02:07,284
ends at 10:00 p.m.,
60
00:02:07,375 --> 00:02:09,835
so we've gotta be outta here
by 2300 hours.
61
00:02:09,938 --> 00:02:12,718
- In English, honey.
all: 11:00.
62
00:02:12,821 --> 00:02:15,841
- Clock is ticking,
so let's get going.
63
00:02:15,944 --> 00:02:19,774
I want anything and everything
that points to cheating.
64
00:02:19,867 --> 00:02:21,987
We leave no stone unturned.
65
00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:30,735
- Aww, Hazel, now look.
It's the wedding picture.
66
00:02:30,838 --> 00:02:32,298
She was so beautiful
that night.
67
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,580
They look like the Obamas
but with less money.
68
00:02:35,683 --> 00:02:39,033
Oh, look at Megan Wegan.
69
00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:42,246
She's really grown
into her body, mostly her ears.
70
00:02:44,571 --> 00:02:46,751
Oh, God. What am I doing?
71
00:02:46,854 --> 00:02:48,084
- You're supposed to be
in the bedroom
72
00:02:48,175 --> 00:02:49,355
searching like we discussed.
73
00:02:49,456 --> 00:02:51,716
- No, I mean what am I
actually doing?
74
00:02:51,818 --> 00:02:55,118
I just broke into my best
friend's husband's apartment
75
00:02:55,222 --> 00:02:56,922
to try and find
some evidence to,
76
00:02:57,023 --> 00:02:58,933
like, destroy their marriage
or some shit?
77
00:02:59,025 --> 00:03:01,005
Like, what am I doing?
78
00:03:01,107 --> 00:03:03,647
- I look cute in this, right?
- Hazel!
79
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:05,490
Stop TikToking, bitch.
80
00:03:05,592 --> 00:03:07,772
Are you serious?
This is your idea!
81
00:03:07,874 --> 00:03:09,624
We're supposed
to be doing shit!
82
00:03:09,716 --> 00:03:12,576
- Their marriage is not over.
Ari will just know the truth,
83
00:03:12,679 --> 00:03:14,899
and she will be able to make
a more informed decision.
84
00:03:15,001 --> 00:03:18,221
- Yeah, but if you and you
and you and you guys all think
85
00:03:18,324 --> 00:03:19,874
that he's guilty,
which means that, like,
86
00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:21,866
he probably has cheated,
then we have to find evidence.
87
00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:24,868
But do we even need evidence
to, like, ruin a family?
88
00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:27,071
- Bree, you're spiraling,
all right?
89
00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:29,763
You are a surgeon.
You are a mother.
90
00:03:29,855 --> 00:03:32,475
Get it together. All right?
We're gonna do a search.
91
00:03:32,578 --> 00:03:33,598
We're gonna get you
some answers.
92
00:03:33,699 --> 00:03:35,159
We're gonna see what we find.
93
00:03:35,261 --> 00:03:36,481
- Yeah, and whatever happens
94
00:03:36,582 --> 00:03:40,492
we are
going to be there for our girl.
95
00:03:40,586 --> 00:03:43,086
- Okay. Okay.
96
00:03:43,188 --> 00:03:44,808
Sorry, I have to count
backwards from 100 to really,
97
00:03:44,910 --> 00:03:46,610
like, take it down sometimes,
but thank you so much.
98
00:03:46,712 --> 00:03:48,252
I really needed you guys to
check in with me right there,
99
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,263
but also, don't ever
do that shit again.
100
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:51,735
Respect your elders.
101
00:03:51,837 --> 00:03:54,137
All right, bitches.
Let's turn this shit up.
102
00:03:54,239 --> 00:03:55,619
- Oh, look. There's candy.
103
00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,720
- Hazel, focus.
104
00:04:00,765 --> 00:04:02,705
- Get in there
and make those connections.
105
00:04:02,807 --> 00:04:05,107
Brother-to-brother.
- Hello.
106
00:04:05,210 --> 00:04:07,630
- Welcome, brother!
- Hey, thank you.
107
00:04:07,732 --> 00:04:09,232
- You ready to make some
meaningful connections
108
00:04:09,334 --> 00:04:10,924
with your fellow man
and with yourself.
109
00:04:11,015 --> 00:04:13,395
- Yes. Actually,
I'm here to write a piece
110
00:04:13,498 --> 00:04:15,158
on one of the speakers.
I'm a writer.
111
00:04:15,259 --> 00:04:17,759
Mostly I do science fiction.
You know, sci-fi.
112
00:04:17,862 --> 00:04:20,452
This is my first non-fi piece.
I'm--I'm kidding.
113
00:04:20,545 --> 00:04:22,725
Anyway,
embrace the challenge, right?
114
00:04:22,827 --> 00:04:24,487
- I like that spirit.
What's your name?
115
00:04:24,588 --> 00:04:26,448
- Gary Washington.
116
00:04:26,550 --> 00:04:29,610
- Washington.
117
00:04:29,713 --> 00:04:33,263
Huh, doesn't look like you're
registered, Gary Washington.
118
00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,457
We strive to help men
make meaningful connections
119
00:04:35,559 --> 00:04:37,339
after they've paid
the nonrefundable fee.
120
00:04:37,441 --> 00:04:38,861
- You know what?
Try David Montgomery.
121
00:04:38,962 --> 00:04:40,462
That's the person
that I'm writing about.
122
00:04:40,564 --> 00:04:42,954
I did mention
I was doing a profile piece?
123
00:04:43,046 --> 00:04:44,586
- You did.
- Okay, cool.
124
00:04:44,688 --> 00:04:47,668
- Oh, here we go.
- Here it is.
125
00:04:47,771 --> 00:04:53,761
- Okay. Boom.
- Oh. Uh, okay.
126
00:04:53,857 --> 00:04:57,477
- In the end, I realize
that denying the pain
127
00:04:57,580 --> 00:05:00,760
was a way of keeping myself
on the battlefield.
128
00:05:00,864 --> 00:05:05,734
Admitting weakness was
the bravest thing I ever did.
129
00:05:05,828 --> 00:05:07,008
Thank you.
130
00:05:07,110 --> 00:05:11,210
[applause]
131
00:05:11,314 --> 00:05:15,224
- I'm Ernest.
- Oh, okay.
132
00:05:15,318 --> 00:05:16,778
- I'm a father.
133
00:05:16,879 --> 00:05:18,739
I'm a son.
134
00:05:18,841 --> 00:05:20,661
I'm a lover.
135
00:05:20,763 --> 00:05:21,903
- Oh, okay.
136
00:05:22,004 --> 00:05:23,554
- I'm a fighter.
137
00:05:23,646 --> 00:05:25,226
- Okay.
138
00:05:25,327 --> 00:05:29,747
- And a music maker.
- Oh, wow. Okay. Cool.
139
00:05:29,852 --> 00:05:33,482
- And you?
- Hmm? Oh, I'm Gary. Yeah.
140
00:05:33,575 --> 00:05:37,995
- But who are you?
- I'm Gary. Ow.
141
00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:41,840
- Now, please welcome New York
State Senator David Montgomery.
142
00:05:41,943 --> 00:05:44,013
[applause]
143
00:05:44,106 --> 00:05:47,886
- Ha-ha-ha-ha.
144
00:05:47,989 --> 00:05:49,369
- Thank you.
145
00:05:49,471 --> 00:05:52,871
I wanna talk today about
the enemy inside all of us...
146
00:05:55,116 --> 00:05:58,616
About overcoming obstacles
so you can get the career
147
00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:03,600
you want and resist
your Mr. Resistor.
148
00:06:05,446 --> 00:06:08,386
Now, let me break this down
for you in ten easy steps.
149
00:06:08,489 --> 00:06:11,109
One, have a dream.
150
00:06:11,212 --> 00:06:13,712
Two, establish a plan. Three.
151
00:06:13,814 --> 00:06:16,244
- I can't do this.
- Oh, no, no, he just started.
152
00:06:16,337 --> 00:06:17,317
He's got ten.
153
00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:19,278
- I came here to cry, Gary,
154
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:21,360
not listen to some suit
try to sell me vitamins.
155
00:06:21,462 --> 00:06:23,002
- Oh, no,
he's not selling vitamins.
156
00:06:23,103 --> 00:06:24,413
He's got a ten-step--
157
00:06:24,505 --> 00:06:25,685
- You wanna go throw axes
158
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,686
and talk about
what really scares us?
159
00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:30,608
- No, I'ma let you
go throw axes.
160
00:06:30,711 --> 00:06:32,711
- I'll catch you
at the group hug.
161
00:06:33,273 --> 00:06:36,803
- Damn it, I don't see shit.
162
00:06:39,359 --> 00:06:44,379
- Hazel! What are you doing?
- He may not be cheating,
163
00:06:44,484 --> 00:06:48,674
but a man who organizes
his shirts in color progression
164
00:06:48,768 --> 00:06:50,948
has a dead body somewhere.
I know it.
165
00:06:51,051 --> 00:06:53,951
- Oh, this is on some definite
Dexter Morgan shit.
166
00:06:54,053 --> 00:06:58,283
- Now, you know what? It's time
to bring out the big guns.
167
00:06:58,378 --> 00:07:00,678
Hazel, cut the lights.
168
00:07:00,780 --> 00:07:02,640
- What is that?
- A sperm light.
169
00:07:02,742 --> 00:07:04,742
Ahh!
170
00:07:05,585 --> 00:07:11,405
Ahh!
171
00:07:11,510 --> 00:07:12,850
Look at him.
172
00:07:12,952 --> 00:07:14,972
Hmm. All right,
he might be a little kinky.
173
00:07:15,074 --> 00:07:19,424
Maybe he likes it on the floor!
Or on the dresser!
174
00:07:19,518 --> 00:07:21,218
- Okay, Eartha Kitt.
175
00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,460
I understand that you trying
to be Catwoman right now,
176
00:07:23,562 --> 00:07:24,902
and I really do appreciate it,
177
00:07:25,003 --> 00:07:26,513
but this is David
we're talking about.
178
00:07:26,605 --> 00:07:27,785
It's gonna be
on the right side of the bed.
179
00:07:27,886 --> 00:07:31,066
Maybe on the side side
of the bed.
180
00:07:31,169 --> 00:07:33,169
- [purrs]
181
00:07:37,015 --> 00:07:39,435
- Bam! I'm just sayin'.
182
00:07:39,538 --> 00:07:41,318
I'm comin' through
for you hos right now.
183
00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:44,079
Yes. Mm-hmm. Right here.
That's right.
184
00:07:44,182 --> 00:07:46,812
Bree got the clutch.
That's right. I keep it breezy.
185
00:07:46,905 --> 00:07:49,325
I'm a natural born leader.
Excuse me.
186
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,527
You better come to your girl
when you wanna find some shit.
187
00:07:51,629 --> 00:07:53,129
This necklace right here.
188
00:07:53,231 --> 00:07:56,611
Uh-huh,
this is for the side piece.
189
00:07:56,714 --> 00:08:00,144
- "Here's an early graduation
gift for Megan.
190
00:08:00,238 --> 00:08:02,458
"Found it as I was
cleaning out the attic.
191
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:06,140
Love, Aunt Tilda."
Mm-hmm.
192
00:08:06,243 --> 00:08:10,273
- Unless David's smashing
Aunt Tilda, you got zip.
193
00:08:10,367 --> 00:08:12,067
- Shut up.
- All right, look.
194
00:08:12,169 --> 00:08:14,149
At the risk of sounding
a little bit bitchy,
195
00:08:14,251 --> 00:08:15,831
could you two, like,
196
00:08:15,933 --> 00:08:19,323
lean into your adultery
expertises a little?
197
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:23,356
- Excuse me?
Lean in to our expertise?
198
00:08:23,460 --> 00:08:25,880
Uh-uh. That sounded bitchy.
199
00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:28,453
- Girl, I married your father.
200
00:08:28,545 --> 00:08:31,645
I do not have experience
in finding proof.
201
00:08:31,748 --> 00:08:33,968
I have experience
in ignoring it.
202
00:08:34,070 --> 00:08:36,070
- Jackpot.
203
00:08:39,275 --> 00:08:42,375
Ladies, exhibit A.
204
00:08:42,479 --> 00:08:45,619
Shea Moisture Moringa Avocado.
205
00:08:45,722 --> 00:08:46,942
- I wanna smell it.
206
00:08:47,043 --> 00:08:49,633
- Oh, I've been dying
to use that.
207
00:08:49,726 --> 00:08:51,826
It's really good and expensive.
208
00:08:51,928 --> 00:08:55,788
- There's a hint of musk
and avocado.
209
00:08:55,892 --> 00:08:57,672
- David's got good taste.
You know what I mean?
210
00:08:57,773 --> 00:08:59,923
If it's good enough for him,
it's good enough for me.
211
00:09:00,016 --> 00:09:04,476
- Except David--
- Ah, shit.
212
00:09:04,580 --> 00:09:07,280
all: Doesn't have hair!
213
00:09:07,383 --> 00:09:10,213
- He's a black Kojak.
214
00:09:10,306 --> 00:09:14,346
- This is bitch shit.
215
00:09:19,474 --> 00:09:20,364
- This is all the evidence
we need.
216
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:21,775
- I have seen this before.
217
00:09:21,877 --> 00:09:24,257
Derek explained away a lot
of shit with "Baby,
218
00:09:24,359 --> 00:09:25,579
it's a gift for you."
219
00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:28,340
- Excuse me, this is 2/3
full or empty.
220
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:29,953
I can't remember which.
221
00:09:30,045 --> 00:09:32,705
But this is definitely proof
that he's cheating.
222
00:09:32,807 --> 00:09:35,987
- Jackpot, ladies.
223
00:09:36,091 --> 00:09:38,111
I hacked into
David's bank account.
224
00:09:38,213 --> 00:09:40,483
- Whoa, you are scary.
225
00:09:40,575 --> 00:09:43,155
- Damn.
- Thanks.
226
00:09:43,258 --> 00:09:45,198
Looks like David makes
a monthly payment
227
00:09:45,300 --> 00:09:47,400
to sensualromances.com.
228
00:09:47,502 --> 00:09:50,242
- Ooh, you should go
to the site.
229
00:09:50,344 --> 00:09:52,794
For research.
230
00:09:55,309 --> 00:09:57,569
- Yep, it's porn.
- Oh, wow.
231
00:09:57,672 --> 00:10:01,142
Yeah, that's definitely--oh,
how does she bend like--oh.
232
00:10:01,235 --> 00:10:05,175
- Okay, he's paying for porn?
That is shady, okay?
233
00:10:05,279 --> 00:10:06,779
He's probably playing it
for his mistress.
234
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,780
- Stand down, Mindhunter.
235
00:10:08,882 --> 00:10:12,032
Ari told me
that David pays for porn,
236
00:10:12,126 --> 00:10:14,706
because he finds the pop-up ads
are distracting.
237
00:10:14,808 --> 00:10:17,028
- That's true.
They're distracting.
238
00:10:17,130 --> 00:10:18,990
- What is wrong with everybody?
239
00:10:19,092 --> 00:10:22,042
- All right, well, how about
weekly identical payments
240
00:10:22,135 --> 00:10:24,235
to something called
Love Me Long Thai?
241
00:10:24,337 --> 00:10:28,077
- Damn, he's really
into some stuff.
242
00:10:28,181 --> 00:10:30,801
- Oh, no, actually,
that is just a Thai restaurant.
243
00:10:30,904 --> 00:10:33,454
- Hmm, Love Me Long Thai.
- Oh, wait a minute. Shit.
244
00:10:33,546 --> 00:10:35,286
Gary is FaceTiming me.
I gotta pick it up.
245
00:10:35,388 --> 00:10:37,248
You guys be quiet, okay?
- No, just decline the call.
246
00:10:37,350 --> 00:10:39,170
- Yeah.
- I cannot decline the call.
247
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:40,892
We are married,
happily married,
248
00:10:40,994 --> 00:10:42,064
and he's gonna know
something's wrong
249
00:10:42,155 --> 00:10:43,655
if I don't pick up the call.
250
00:10:43,756 --> 00:10:44,756
Plus, he's like really nervous
about this trip.
251
00:10:44,837 --> 00:10:49,297
You guys just be quiet, okay?
252
00:10:49,402 --> 00:10:52,352
- Hey, babe! What's up?
- Baby!
253
00:10:52,445 --> 00:10:55,785
Oh, it's so good
to see your face. I miss you.
254
00:10:55,888 --> 00:10:57,268
- I miss you too.
255
00:10:57,369 --> 00:10:58,589
Come on, Gar Bear,
you know I love you so much.
256
00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:00,391
It's been, like,
two hours though.
257
00:11:00,492 --> 00:11:02,152
- I know. I know.
How are the kids?
258
00:11:02,254 --> 00:11:03,644
Can I see 'em?
259
00:11:03,736 --> 00:11:05,476
- The kids? Our kids?
You wanna see our kids.
260
00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:08,117
Our son and daughter
that we have made together.
261
00:11:08,220 --> 00:11:09,840
You wanna see them.
262
00:11:09,942 --> 00:11:11,402
It's so funny, because
they're so busy right now.
263
00:11:11,503 --> 00:11:13,253
They're playing
the blanket game,
264
00:11:13,345 --> 00:11:15,345
and they can't wait
to show you.
265
00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:20,490
- Really? 'Cause it's just--
'cause they're just so quiet.
266
00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:21,892
- Quiet? Oh, no.
267
00:11:21,993 --> 00:11:23,503
They're not quiet.
They're loud.
268
00:11:23,595 --> 00:11:24,715
They're just listening
to Michael Jackson.
269
00:11:24,796 --> 00:11:26,336
[all giggling]
270
00:11:26,438 --> 00:11:27,938
- Okay, now--now,
they sound weird, baby.
271
00:11:28,039 --> 00:11:29,499
Is everything okay?
272
00:11:29,601 --> 00:11:31,221
- Yeah, Gar Bear,
everything is great, okay?
273
00:11:31,322 --> 00:11:33,632
You're supposed to be
on a getaway. Now get away.
274
00:11:33,725 --> 00:11:35,145
Love you so much.
Mwah!
275
00:11:35,246 --> 00:11:36,866
- I just wanted to say
I love y--okay.
276
00:11:36,968 --> 00:11:41,268
- The ending of Armageddon.
When the Patriots lose.
277
00:11:41,372 --> 00:11:43,192
When you disappoint
your third son.
278
00:11:43,294 --> 00:11:45,584
When your dog dies!
279
00:11:48,659 --> 00:11:49,559
- Oh!
- Gary.
280
00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:51,120
- Huh? One second.
281
00:11:51,222 --> 00:11:52,522
Okay, okay, I'll be back.
I'll be back.
282
00:11:52,623 --> 00:11:54,373
Keep trying. Keep trying.
Keep trying.
283
00:11:54,465 --> 00:11:56,605
Dawg, that was
a great talk in there, man.
284
00:11:56,707 --> 00:11:57,967
- Was it?
- Mm-hmm.
285
00:11:58,068 --> 00:12:00,968
- No, no, no. I tanked, Gary.
- Uh...
286
00:12:01,071 --> 00:12:02,531
- Yeah, I don't think
this is my scene.
287
00:12:02,633 --> 00:12:05,463
I--I should bounce.
My pollsters are right.
288
00:12:05,556 --> 00:12:07,616
Women love me, of course,
but with men,
289
00:12:07,718 --> 00:12:09,618
I'm not somebody
they want to have a beer with.
290
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:11,940
- No, no. I would definitely
have a beer with you, man.
291
00:12:12,042 --> 00:12:13,542
You can't leave.
There's like
292
00:12:13,643 --> 00:12:15,393
a shit ton of stuff
that you're good at.
293
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,225
They have a psychological
obstacle course.
294
00:12:17,327 --> 00:12:18,707
I don't know that that means,
295
00:12:18,808 --> 00:12:21,748
and then,
oh, it's a rap battle. Okay?
296
00:12:21,851 --> 00:12:23,071
And I've seen you at a karaoke.
297
00:12:23,173 --> 00:12:24,313
I know
you can spit a little bit.
298
00:12:24,414 --> 00:12:26,284
- Wait, di--did you just
say rap battle?
299
00:12:26,376 --> 00:12:27,636
- I did say rap battle.
300
00:12:27,737 --> 00:12:30,197
- Oh, hell yeah.
Hell yeah. I'm in.
301
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:33,760
- [lips fluttering]
302
00:12:33,863 --> 00:12:36,733
[peaceful music]
303
00:12:36,826 --> 00:12:43,166
♪ ♪
304
00:12:43,272 --> 00:12:45,822
- ♪ Buffalo gal
won't you come out tonight ♪
305
00:12:45,915 --> 00:12:48,575
♪ Come out tonight,
come out tonight ♪
306
00:12:48,677 --> 00:12:50,977
♪ Buffalo gal
won't you come out tonight ♪
307
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,820
♪ And dance by the light
of the moon ♪
308
00:12:53,923 --> 00:12:55,743
- What is it? I'm at yoga.
309
00:12:55,844 --> 00:12:57,714
- It's Nigel!
310
00:12:57,806 --> 00:13:01,146
I'm out of town, and he hasn't
responded to my text.
311
00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:06,920
Maybe he's dead or kidnapped
or trapped underneath my coats.
312
00:13:07,015 --> 00:13:10,075
I need you to go over there.
It's an emergency.
313
00:13:10,178 --> 00:13:12,318
- A few hours without a text
is not an emergency.
314
00:13:12,420 --> 00:13:15,600
Grandma, may I remind you,
today is Saturday.
315
00:13:15,704 --> 00:13:19,934
- Ugh! May I remind you
that I sign your paychecks.
316
00:13:20,028 --> 00:13:22,288
I need you to get over there
right now
317
00:13:22,390 --> 00:13:25,050
or don't bother
comin' in on Monday.
318
00:13:25,153 --> 00:13:28,643
- Namaste.
- Do what I say.
319
00:13:31,719 --> 00:13:35,619
What?
320
00:13:35,723 --> 00:13:38,613
Ooh.
321
00:13:43,611 --> 00:13:46,451
[gasps]
Oh.
322
00:13:50,658 --> 00:13:56,158
- Soydelish. Huh, no sugar.
Nice.
323
00:13:56,263 --> 00:13:59,293
Hey, what's up with this
Love Me Long Thai?
324
00:13:59,386 --> 00:14:02,266
- Let's call 'em and find out.
- That's a good idea.
325
00:14:09,035 --> 00:14:10,335
- Love Me Long Thai
restaurant.
326
00:14:10,437 --> 00:14:12,897
I can take your order.
What would you like?
327
00:14:12,999 --> 00:14:15,419
- Hi, I'm not sure.
328
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,862
My husband,
Senator David Montgomery,
329
00:14:17,964 --> 00:14:20,114
says you have the best
Thai food in town.
330
00:14:20,206 --> 00:14:21,626
- Oh, yes.
331
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,428
We love your husband.
He's a regular here.
332
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,989
- Well, I'm not sure
what to order for dinner
333
00:14:26,092 --> 00:14:28,192
since he's always
there for lunch.
334
00:14:28,294 --> 00:14:30,524
- Lunch?
No, he comes for dinner.
335
00:14:30,616 --> 00:14:33,196
He loves our chili
pepper oysters with asparagus.
336
00:14:33,299 --> 00:14:34,719
- Interesting.
337
00:14:34,820 --> 00:14:37,280
All aphrodisiacs, hmm.
Well, I'm sure it's hard
338
00:14:37,383 --> 00:14:40,213
to find
a good business dinner spot.
339
00:14:40,306 --> 00:14:45,126
- Not business dinners.
He always brings his laptop.
340
00:14:45,230 --> 00:14:47,090
So sad.
So alone.
341
00:14:47,192 --> 00:14:49,622
He tells us he misses you,
his wife.
342
00:14:49,715 --> 00:14:51,375
You should come with him.
343
00:14:51,477 --> 00:14:53,977
- Well, thanks. Actually,
I'm not hungry anymore.
344
00:14:54,079 --> 00:14:57,379
We'll rain check
for later, okay? Bye.
345
00:14:57,482 --> 00:14:59,022
- [clears throat]
346
00:14:59,124 --> 00:15:01,474
How's it going?
- A dead end.
347
00:15:01,566 --> 00:15:03,346
The Thai place is playing
marriage counselor.
348
00:15:03,448 --> 00:15:05,148
- You'll never believe
what I found.
349
00:15:05,250 --> 00:15:07,110
Holy birth control, Batman.
350
00:15:07,212 --> 00:15:09,312
- Oh, shit,
and it's already used.
351
00:15:09,414 --> 00:15:11,964
- Frequently and recently.
352
00:15:12,057 --> 00:15:13,477
- [laughs]
353
00:15:13,578 --> 00:15:14,478
Wait...
- [whispers indistinctly]
354
00:15:14,579 --> 00:15:15,559
- Oh, shit.
- Hide.
355
00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:17,160
Hide, hide, hide.
356
00:15:17,262 --> 00:15:18,802
Where are we gonna hide?
357
00:15:18,903 --> 00:15:22,273
I don't--This isn't my house.
I don't know where to hide.
358
00:15:26,230 --> 00:15:28,230
[indistinct whispering]
359
00:15:34,799 --> 00:15:35,739
- Get down.
360
00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:39,320
- [humming]
361
00:15:52,896 --> 00:15:54,896
- It's Vanessa.
362
00:15:56,059 --> 00:15:57,439
- Is that David?
363
00:15:57,541 --> 00:16:00,981
- I know I shouldn't be
doing this.
364
00:16:09,913 --> 00:16:11,333
- The nerve!
- Whore!
365
00:16:11,434 --> 00:16:13,064
- [screams]
- Ohh!
366
00:16:13,156 --> 00:16:14,696
- You should be ashamed
of yourself!
367
00:16:14,797 --> 00:16:17,177
- Someone just called me
a whore.
368
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,060
- It was me.
- And me.
369
00:16:19,162 --> 00:16:21,942
- What the fuck?
- What the hell is going on?
370
00:16:22,044 --> 00:16:24,114
- You tell us. What are you
doing in David's apartment?
371
00:16:24,206 --> 00:16:25,586
- With your titties
hanging all out.
372
00:16:25,688 --> 00:16:26,988
- Mm-hmm.
- This doesn't look like work.
373
00:16:27,089 --> 00:16:28,349
- Excuse me, menudo.
374
00:16:28,451 --> 00:16:30,231
Who is this?
- What's up? I'm Javier.
375
00:16:30,332 --> 00:16:33,002
I'm just--oh, shit.
376
00:16:33,095 --> 00:16:34,755
Are you Hazel Rachelle?
377
00:16:34,857 --> 00:16:37,557
My mom is such a fan.
Can I get a picture?
378
00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:39,240
- Maybe later.
- No pics, Bruno Mars!
379
00:16:39,341 --> 00:16:40,601
And pull your pants up, boy!
380
00:16:40,702 --> 00:16:42,402
I can see your
medium-sized dick right now.
381
00:16:42,504 --> 00:16:43,774
It's too much!
382
00:16:43,866 --> 00:16:46,486
What in the entire hell
is going on here?
383
00:16:46,588 --> 00:16:49,568
- Wait, wait, did Ari
send you guys to spy on me?
384
00:16:49,671 --> 00:16:51,691
- Oh, no, no, no.
The real question is,
385
00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:53,903
what are you doing
in a married man's apartment
386
00:16:53,995 --> 00:16:55,495
with another man?
387
00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:57,657
- What's she talking about?
What married man?
388
00:16:57,759 --> 00:16:59,379
- David's my boss.
389
00:16:59,481 --> 00:17:01,941
- Whore!
- Bree, try another word.
390
00:17:02,043 --> 00:17:03,633
Like slut.
Go get it.
391
00:17:03,725 --> 00:17:04,785
- Okay.
- Use that.
392
00:17:04,886 --> 00:17:06,426
- Slut!
- Oh, that's good.
393
00:17:06,528 --> 00:17:10,268
- Look, this is my boyfriend,
Javier, okay?
394
00:17:10,371 --> 00:17:11,991
Well, ex-boyfriend.
395
00:17:12,093 --> 00:17:14,483
We're kind of
in an entanglement.
396
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:18,035
Look, I can't exactly hook up
in my place, you know?
397
00:17:18,139 --> 00:17:20,519
I'm so sorry.
Please don't tell David.
398
00:17:20,621 --> 00:17:22,281
I'm begging you, please.
399
00:17:22,383 --> 00:17:24,933
- We won't
as long as you cooperate.
400
00:17:25,025 --> 00:17:29,805
- Yeah, we--we have
a few other questions.
401
00:17:29,910 --> 00:17:31,250
You're not in the clear yet.
402
00:17:31,352 --> 00:17:35,022
- Oh, God,
this is so embarrassing.
403
00:17:35,115 --> 00:17:37,935
And oh, my God,
there's a woman on the ceiling!
404
00:17:38,038 --> 00:17:39,458
- Ooh!
- Ooh!
405
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,260
- What?
- Oh, shit!
406
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,021
I didn't know I could do that.
407
00:17:43,123 --> 00:17:46,513
- I'm so impressed.
- You are jumping like you
408
00:17:46,606 --> 00:17:48,586
have health insurance,
and I know you don't.
409
00:17:48,688 --> 00:17:51,068
- I don't.
- Hey, you know, uh,
410
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:52,671
me crushing this rap battle
411
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,512
could make for a great ending
for the article, right?
412
00:17:54,614 --> 00:17:57,004
- Oh, it'll be an awesome
ending for the article, dude.
413
00:17:57,097 --> 00:17:59,837
Come on, man. You got this.
414
00:17:59,939 --> 00:18:01,839
- ♪ First thing's first,
watch your tone ♪
415
00:18:01,941 --> 00:18:03,601
♪ You're talking to a senator ♪
416
00:18:03,703 --> 00:18:06,413
♪ You really should be honored
that I'm your competitor ♪
417
00:18:06,506 --> 00:18:08,886
♪ But let's me real, man,
there's no competition ♪
418
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:10,488
♪ What's your job?
Being a nanny? ♪
419
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:11,530
♪ Well, I'm a politician ♪
420
00:18:11,631 --> 00:18:12,851
♪ I'm in a different league ♪
421
00:18:12,952 --> 00:18:14,572
♪ You don't fit in my circle ♪
422
00:18:14,674 --> 00:18:15,904
♪ Can't believe I came
to battle ♪
423
00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:17,295
♪ And y'all
gave me Urkel ♪
424
00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:18,616
♪ I wear the best suits ♪
425
00:18:18,718 --> 00:18:20,058
♪ I'm a success,
it's true ♪
426
00:18:20,159 --> 00:18:21,619
♪ But tell me why's it look
like your mom ♪
427
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,220
♪ Still dresses you ♪
428
00:18:23,322 --> 00:18:25,912
♪ Feel me? Now, everybody,
look at him close up ♪
429
00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:28,785
♪ Ain't he the type to try to
talk to girls but froze up? ♪
430
00:18:28,887 --> 00:18:31,147
♪ This isn't personal,
I gotta do what I must ♪
431
00:18:31,250 --> 00:18:33,950
♪ Now RIP 'cause I just
left you in the dust ♪
432
00:18:34,052 --> 00:18:37,002
♪ You dig? ♪
433
00:18:37,095 --> 00:18:38,555
- ♪ Ooh ♪
434
00:18:38,657 --> 00:18:39,677
♪ Oh, you funny as hell
which is fittin' ♪
435
00:18:39,778 --> 00:18:41,118
♪ 'Cause you're a joke ♪
436
00:18:41,219 --> 00:18:43,239
♪ This fake Barack Obama
tryna act all woke ♪
437
00:18:43,341 --> 00:18:44,921
♪ Shouldn't have gotten
me heated ♪
438
00:18:45,023 --> 00:18:46,323
♪ When you don't want
any smoke ♪
439
00:18:46,424 --> 00:18:47,694
♪ You overstepped,
it ain't workin' out ♪
440
00:18:47,786 --> 00:18:49,086
♪ Now they watchin' you choke ♪
441
00:18:49,187 --> 00:18:50,447
♪ Okay, my turn ♪
442
00:18:50,548 --> 00:18:52,008
♪ Let's look at him
really close ♪
443
00:18:52,110 --> 00:18:53,370
♪ Don't he look like the type ♪
444
00:18:53,471 --> 00:18:55,251
♪ Whose wife be
pickin' his clothes ♪
445
00:18:55,353 --> 00:18:57,543
♪ If he was any more dependent,
she'd be pickin' his nose ♪
446
00:18:57,635 --> 00:18:58,975
♪ His rap was wack ♪
447
00:18:59,077 --> 00:19:00,657
♪ Maybe she should be
pickin' his flows ♪
448
00:19:00,758 --> 00:19:02,578
♪ Man, look at the way
that I'm beatin' him ♪
449
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,460
♪ You really want it,
come get it then ♪
450
00:19:04,562 --> 00:19:06,782
♪ Everybody's laughing at you
like you're a damn comedian ♪
451
00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:08,834
♪ It's over. No need to wonder.
Oh, yeah ♪
452
00:19:08,926 --> 00:19:12,746
♪ Your wife can pick the coffin
when I put you six feet under ♪
453
00:19:12,850 --> 00:19:15,630
[cheers and applause]
454
00:19:15,733 --> 00:19:18,083
- You got served!
455
00:19:18,175 --> 00:19:20,395
[cheers and applause]
456
00:19:20,498 --> 00:19:23,038
- And the name
is Gary Washington!
457
00:19:23,140 --> 00:19:25,380
[cheers and applause]
458
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,526
- Can I get you some Soydelish?
459
00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:32,728
- How would you like that?
460
00:19:32,829 --> 00:19:35,049
With a scoop of birth control?
461
00:19:35,152 --> 00:19:38,702
- Boom, bitch! We found it.
Also, your body, your choice.
462
00:19:38,795 --> 00:19:40,775
- What am I on trial for?
463
00:19:40,877 --> 00:19:43,097
I already told you
about Javier.
464
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:44,500
- Do we have to spell it
out for you?
465
00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:46,821
- H-O-E.
466
00:19:46,923 --> 00:19:49,913
- Oh, my God. You think
I'm sleeping with David.
467
00:19:50,006 --> 00:19:51,586
- You said it.
468
00:19:51,688 --> 00:19:53,748
- Okay, the optics aren't
great, but I don't know.
469
00:19:53,850 --> 00:19:55,430
I must've left them earlier.
470
00:19:55,531 --> 00:19:58,071
- Earlier when?
- Today.
471
00:19:58,174 --> 00:20:01,804
David asked me to come over and
water his little finicky plants
472
00:20:01,898 --> 00:20:05,038
while he was gone.
It's such a nice place.
473
00:20:05,141 --> 00:20:08,721
I live with three other people.
My bed is in the living room.
474
00:20:08,824 --> 00:20:10,214
- So get a hotel.
475
00:20:10,306 --> 00:20:11,686
- I have student loans.
476
00:20:11,787 --> 00:20:14,647
- What about a motel?
- Eww. That's nasty.
477
00:20:14,750 --> 00:20:16,330
- Yeah.
- That is kinda nasty.
478
00:20:16,432 --> 00:20:19,012
- You're right.
- I messed up by coming here.
479
00:20:19,114 --> 00:20:22,704
- Understatement.
- Look, David is the best boss
480
00:20:22,798 --> 00:20:24,458
I've ever had,
481
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,060
and I can tell he's
a great husband too.
482
00:20:27,162 --> 00:20:29,102
- Says the woman that's been
married how many times?
483
00:20:29,204 --> 00:20:30,354
- Zip. Zero.
484
00:20:30,445 --> 00:20:31,665
- That's none.
485
00:20:31,767 --> 00:20:33,187
- When he's not talking
about work,
486
00:20:33,288 --> 00:20:35,548
all he talks about
is his family.
487
00:20:35,650 --> 00:20:37,390
- That is sweet.
- That's so beautiful.
488
00:20:37,492 --> 00:20:40,042
- He's, like, loving.
- Just like David.
489
00:20:40,135 --> 00:20:41,875
- Really? Don't fall for that.
490
00:20:41,977 --> 00:20:44,797
- She has not answered
everything.
491
00:20:44,899 --> 00:20:48,119
- Yeah, cut the bullshit,
Vanessa.
492
00:20:48,223 --> 00:20:50,493
What is this?
493
00:20:50,585 --> 00:20:52,845
- Oh, that is Shea Moisture.
494
00:20:52,947 --> 00:20:55,327
The moringa
and avocado reconstructor.
495
00:20:55,430 --> 00:20:58,250
It's the best. Let me tell you,
I use it all the time.
496
00:20:58,352 --> 00:20:59,852
- We know what it is!
497
00:20:59,954 --> 00:21:01,264
What the hell is it doing
in David's apartment?
498
00:21:01,355 --> 00:21:03,615
- Seems like
you've been using it.
499
00:21:03,718 --> 00:21:05,178
- What?
500
00:21:05,279 --> 00:21:08,059
No, no, no, I actually
gave that to David, because--
501
00:21:08,162 --> 00:21:11,432
- Because what?
- Because it adds moisture.
502
00:21:11,525 --> 00:21:14,385
Okay, listen.
I'm trying to correct a trend,
503
00:21:14,488 --> 00:21:17,808
because David
has been polling as ashy.
504
00:21:20,454 --> 00:21:21,684
- All right, hold up.
I'ma look this up
505
00:21:21,775 --> 00:21:24,595
on Gallup right now.
Whoa, yep.
506
00:21:24,698 --> 00:21:27,958
It does seem that David is
suffering from an ash factor.
507
00:21:28,061 --> 00:21:30,761
11% polled it as tragic.
508
00:21:30,864 --> 00:21:32,614
- Okay, I gotta take this.
- Now?
509
00:21:32,706 --> 00:21:35,606
- What? Just ignore it.
- I got shit going on too.
510
00:21:35,709 --> 00:21:38,649
And he does look ashy.
511
00:21:38,752 --> 00:21:41,252
- Damn.
512
00:21:41,354 --> 00:21:44,984
- Don't hang up.
Don't hang up. Don't hang up.
513
00:21:45,078 --> 00:21:47,818
Hello? What's the tea?
514
00:21:47,921 --> 00:21:49,861
- There's no emergency.
515
00:21:49,962 --> 00:21:53,152
- Uh, so he's not trapped
under a wine fridge
516
00:21:53,246 --> 00:21:55,466
just out of reach of his phone?
'Cause I figured
517
00:21:55,568 --> 00:21:58,588
that's the only way
he wouldn't hit me back.
518
00:21:58,691 --> 00:22:00,311
- Well, here's another way.
519
00:22:00,413 --> 00:22:01,993
Maybe he doesn't want to talk
to you right now, Hazel.
520
00:22:02,094 --> 00:22:04,324
Sometimes that happens.
521
00:22:04,417 --> 00:22:06,717
- He doesn't wanna talk to me!
- Hazel.
522
00:22:06,819 --> 00:22:09,399
- He doesn't wanna talk--
- Hazel!
523
00:22:09,501 --> 00:22:13,091
Excuse me, but this is not
our home, and we broke in,
524
00:22:13,185 --> 00:22:14,645
and you are just a Black woman
525
00:22:14,747 --> 00:22:17,647
yelling on a porch
calling all the Karens!
526
00:22:17,749 --> 00:22:19,089
- Oh, you're right.
You're right. You're right.
527
00:22:19,191 --> 00:22:20,691
- Yeah, you wanna be on
the "Today Show?" Come on.
528
00:22:20,792 --> 00:22:24,022
- Okay.
529
00:22:24,116 --> 00:22:26,776
Where is low-budget Omarosa?
530
00:22:26,878 --> 00:22:28,218
- We let her leave.
She's telling the truth
531
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:30,740
so no point
in interrogating her anymore.
532
00:22:30,842 --> 00:22:32,982
- Hazel, who were you
screaming at?
533
00:22:33,084 --> 00:22:35,034
- Curtis.
Nigel and I had a fight,
534
00:22:35,126 --> 00:22:37,866
and he's acting like it's
the end of the goddamn world.
535
00:22:37,969 --> 00:22:41,869
- Well, if you date a kid,
expect him to act like a kid.
536
00:22:41,973 --> 00:22:44,883
- Can you warm me before
you hit me with a truth bomb?
537
00:22:44,976 --> 00:22:46,236
- Oh, it's Gary.
538
00:22:46,337 --> 00:22:47,557
Okay, it's my turn
on the porch.
539
00:22:47,658 --> 00:22:50,158
- You think I can
use your services.
540
00:22:50,261 --> 00:22:53,121
- Tech? Yeah, I can help.
541
00:22:53,224 --> 00:22:54,774
- Hey, baby.
- Hey, babe.
542
00:22:54,865 --> 00:22:57,165
David left the retreat.
I think I pissed him off.
543
00:22:57,268 --> 00:22:58,648
- Oh, what now?
544
00:22:58,749 --> 00:23:00,409
- Hazel, what're you gonna
do about Nigel?
545
00:23:00,511 --> 00:23:02,211
- You guys! You guys!
Oh, my God!
546
00:23:02,313 --> 00:23:03,533
- What?
- What is it?
547
00:23:03,634 --> 00:23:06,024
- Gary said that he gave
David the beats!
548
00:23:06,116 --> 00:23:07,176
- What does that mean?
549
00:23:07,277 --> 00:23:09,017
- It means David
is on his way now!
550
00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:10,399
He's coming here now!
We've gotta clean all this up!
551
00:23:10,481 --> 00:23:11,941
[all screaming]
552
00:23:12,042 --> 00:23:13,662
- The laptop's on fire!
553
00:23:13,764 --> 00:23:16,114
- We need water!
554
00:23:16,206 --> 00:23:20,326
[all screaming]
555
00:23:24,694 --> 00:23:29,044
- Oh!
556
00:23:29,139 --> 00:23:30,519
- Flour?
557
00:23:30,620 --> 00:23:34,120
Who the hell puts out
a fire with flour!
558
00:23:34,224 --> 00:23:36,374
- Girl, I'm sorry!
I just saw sparks flying,
559
00:23:36,466 --> 00:23:37,686
and I grabbed
the closest thing to me.
560
00:23:37,787 --> 00:23:41,407
- [sobbing]
561
00:23:41,511 --> 00:23:43,131
I'm gluten-free!
562
00:23:47,917 --> 00:23:50,137
- I mean,
it's not leaving a mark.
563
00:23:50,239 --> 00:23:54,859
But it's definitely
caked in there.
564
00:23:54,964 --> 00:23:56,754
- Oh, no.
- It's in her hair.
565
00:23:56,846 --> 00:23:58,506
- Oh, shit.
566
00:23:58,607 --> 00:24:00,267
All right,
we gotta do something quick
567
00:24:00,369 --> 00:24:02,389
'cause David's cell phone
just pinged from 17 miles away.
568
00:24:02,491 --> 00:24:03,951
- Okay, okay, okay.
569
00:24:04,053 --> 00:24:05,673
We'll just send him some money
on the Veen-mo,
570
00:24:05,774 --> 00:24:07,444
and then we can get
the hell outta here.
571
00:24:07,536 --> 00:24:10,196
- Okay, Hazel, we can't
"Veen-mo" him the money,
572
00:24:10,299 --> 00:24:12,399
'cause then he's gonna know
it's us, bitch.
573
00:24:12,501 --> 00:24:14,921
- Well, you got
a better idea, bitch?
574
00:24:15,023 --> 00:24:16,533
- Ladies, calm down.
575
00:24:16,625 --> 00:24:18,805
Since it already looks
like a break-in,
576
00:24:18,907 --> 00:24:21,927
let's just lean all the way in
and make it an actual break-in.
577
00:24:22,030 --> 00:24:23,330
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's a good idea.
578
00:24:23,431 --> 00:24:24,731
And then insurance
will cover the damages.
579
00:24:24,833 --> 00:24:26,843
- And how are we supposed
to do that?
580
00:24:27,916 --> 00:24:29,816
[zipper unzips]
581
00:24:29,918 --> 00:24:31,018
- ♪ You don't own me ♪
582
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:33,779
all: Ooh. Ohh.
583
00:24:33,882 --> 00:24:36,912
- Hell yeah.
I could get down with this.
584
00:24:37,005 --> 00:24:40,705
- Ooh, it's hammer time.
585
00:24:40,808 --> 00:24:43,628
- Don't mess with
Hazel Rachelle.
586
00:24:43,731 --> 00:24:47,481
- And, I'll make this work.
587
00:24:47,575 --> 00:24:51,075
- ♪ Don't tell me what to do ♪
588
00:24:51,178 --> 00:24:55,038
♪ And don't tell me
what to say ♪
589
00:24:55,142 --> 00:24:58,932
♪ Please,
when I go out with you ♪
590
00:24:59,026 --> 00:25:03,046
♪ Don't put me on display ♪
591
00:25:03,150 --> 00:25:07,490
♪ You don't own me ♪
592
00:25:07,594 --> 00:25:11,984
♪ Don't try to change me
in any way ♪
593
00:25:12,079 --> 00:25:13,259
♪ You don't own me ♪
594
00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:15,380
- Ahh!
595
00:25:15,482 --> 00:25:17,862
- ♪ Don't tie me down,
'cause I'd never stay ♪
596
00:25:17,964 --> 00:25:20,674
- Ahh!
597
00:25:20,767 --> 00:25:22,027
Wahh!
598
00:25:22,128 --> 00:25:26,148
- ♪ Don't tell me what to do ♪
599
00:25:26,252 --> 00:25:29,642
- Ahh!
600
00:25:29,736 --> 00:25:33,316
- ♪ Please,
when I go out with you ♪
601
00:25:33,419 --> 00:25:36,199
♪ Don't put me on display ♪
602
00:25:36,302 --> 00:25:39,932
- ♪ Re-really though,
Honestly ♪
603
00:25:40,026 --> 00:25:41,166
- Hold up. Hold up.
604
00:25:41,267 --> 00:25:45,087
Ladies, hold up!
605
00:25:45,191 --> 00:25:46,251
Daddy's home.
606
00:25:46,352 --> 00:25:47,852
- ♪ Yeah yeah ♪
607
00:25:47,953 --> 00:25:50,343
♪ Girl gang, girl gang,
squad goals, bang bang ♪
608
00:25:50,436 --> 00:25:53,096
- Holy shit.
- ♪ Sauced up, sauced up ♪
609
00:25:53,198 --> 00:25:55,138
God, can this day
get any worse?
610
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:56,380
- ♪ Brought the troop out ♪
611
00:25:56,482 --> 00:25:58,262
- Oh.
- ♪ And they all bang ♪
612
00:25:58,363 --> 00:26:00,233
♪ Girl gang, girl gang ♪
- Oh, yeah!
613
00:26:00,325 --> 00:26:03,025
- ♪ Girl gang, girl gang,
girl gang, girl gang ♪
614
00:26:03,128 --> 00:26:04,868
♪ Yeah, squad goals,
bang bang ♪
615
00:26:04,970 --> 00:26:05,910
- Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
616
00:26:06,011 --> 00:26:07,511
[all screaming]
617
00:26:07,612 --> 00:26:11,042
[tires squealing]
618
00:26:11,136 --> 00:26:12,556
- Whoo!
619
00:26:12,657 --> 00:26:13,757
- You're right!
That is fun to say!
620
00:26:13,858 --> 00:26:17,758
[laughter]
621
00:26:17,862 --> 00:26:20,532
Oh, my goodness.
Good work, ladies.
622
00:26:20,625 --> 00:26:22,005
Now, we may have smashed
the place,
623
00:26:22,106 --> 00:26:24,206
but at least we know
he's not cheating.
624
00:26:24,309 --> 00:26:25,809
- Right.
- Yeah, mission accomplished.
625
00:26:25,910 --> 00:26:27,450
- Oh, yeah.
Now, I'm gonna text Ari
626
00:26:27,552 --> 00:26:30,782
and let her know that
David is as boring as always.
627
00:26:30,875 --> 00:26:32,415
- Well, that's for sure.
628
00:26:32,517 --> 00:26:34,217
- And we gotta go somewhere
where we can get plucked.
629
00:26:34,318 --> 00:26:36,738
- I know that's right.
- Ooh, and I have to call Gary,
630
00:26:36,841 --> 00:26:38,341
because I hung up on him
so quick
631
00:26:38,442 --> 00:26:40,952
when he said David was home--
well, coming home.
632
00:26:41,045 --> 00:26:45,185
I just have to--
633
00:26:45,289 --> 00:26:46,789
can someone just call my phone?
634
00:26:46,891 --> 00:26:48,711
- Oh, I'll call it.
635
00:26:48,812 --> 00:26:50,592
- Don't tell me you left your
phone in David's apartment.
636
00:26:50,694 --> 00:26:51,704
- No, I'm not saying that.
I'm not gonna tell that to you.
637
00:26:51,775 --> 00:26:53,395
- ♪ Troop out ♪
638
00:26:53,497 --> 00:26:55,117
- Hello,
this is David Montgomery.
639
00:26:55,219 --> 00:26:57,959
I'd like to report a break-in
at my apartment.
640
00:26:58,061 --> 00:27:01,531
♪ ♪
641
00:27:01,625 --> 00:27:03,045
- ♪ Girl gang, girl gang ♪
642
00:27:15,078 --> 00:27:16,178
- ♪ Number one yeah,
I'm still number one ♪
643
00:27:16,279 --> 00:27:17,779
- ♪ Hell yeah ♪
644
00:27:17,881 --> 00:27:19,221
- ♪ Number one,
always be number one ♪
645
00:27:19,322 --> 00:27:20,822
- ♪ Ah-ooh ♪
646
00:27:20,924 --> 00:27:22,034
- ♪ Party down took you
from minor to major ♪
647
00:27:22,125 --> 00:27:23,625
- ♪ Ah-ooh ♪
648
00:27:23,726 --> 00:27:25,066
♪ You wanted video,
the fruits of my labor ♪
649
00:27:25,168 --> 00:27:26,748
- ♪ Hell yeah ♪
650
00:27:26,849 --> 00:27:28,189
- ♪ Number one yeah,
I'm still number one ♪
651
00:27:28,291 --> 00:27:29,751
- ♪ Hell yeah ♪
652
00:27:29,852 --> 00:27:31,072
- ♪ Number one,
always be number one ♪
653
00:27:31,173 --> 00:27:32,843
- ♪ Ah-ooh ♪
654
00:27:32,935 --> 00:27:34,035
- ♪ Don't forget it, yeah,
I'm still number one ♪
655
00:27:34,136 --> 00:27:35,356
- ♪ Hell yeah ♪
656
00:27:35,458 --> 00:27:37,318
[fingers snap]
- Whoo!
657
00:27:37,420 --> 00:27:39,420
[animal bleats]
48881
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