Original subtitles

- ♪ Baby, when you tell me

♪ I'm the only one ♪

♪ Oh, I do, yeah ♪

- That's Regina Crowell!

Back in the day, we recorded a song together

for this movie "Lavender Moon."

The movie flopped, but the song blew up!

Won us a Grammy.

- A Grammy? Big up yourself!

- [laughs]

Yeah, all kinds of shit started coming our way

but Regina wasn't having any of it, picky bitch.

[sighs]

I just had to walk away. Haven't seen her in years.

- ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ I do, I do ♪

♪ I do ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Thank you.

Thank you all for coming out.

Give it up for Gary on guitar.

- Go over there.

No doubt, she'll be glad to see you.

- I dunno about all that, but she's here.

So why not?

- Hey. [chuckles]

[Squash's "Ohh Lala La" playing]

- Regina Crowell.

I would know that voice anywhere.

- Hazel Rachelle. Didn't expect to see you here.

And your son brought you?

- [laughs]

This is Nigel. He's my fiancé.

- It's an honor.

You know, I'm going to say bye to my cousin.

But soon, call me. Nice to meet you, Regina.

- Nice to meet you too, Junior.

- [sighs]

Even with these tragic acoustics,

your voice still sends a chill down my spine.

- Lucky for you, you have him to keep you warm.

- [laughs]

- Well, nice seeing you.

- Oh, wait! I--it's been a minute.

Um, what have you been up to?

- A gig here and there for fun.

Don't have much time to take it too seriously.

I've been pretty busy.

- Oh, yeah? With what?

- Can we not do this?

- Not do what?

- Pretend to be happy to see each other.

Walking away from you was the smartest thing I've ever done.

- [scoffs] That's funny.

I always thought I walked away from you.

Ran, actually.

You were just so impossible to work with.

- Bullshit. Once we got that Grammy,

you only thought about yourself.

And you took every opportunity with you.

- Oh, my God. Always the victim.

Refusing to listen to anyone.

You could have had the same career as me, Boo-boo.

- But I couldn't be a kiss-ass sellout like you.

- If listening to other knowledgeable people

is selling out, then okay. I did.

Because that's how you build a career.

But I guess your way works for you.

So congratulations. This is awesome.

- Still the same old Hazel.

Thinking you know what's best for everybody.

Only now, instead of $60 shoes, yours cost $600.

- [laughs] - How much was the child bride?

- ♪ Miss, miss me with the bull ♪

♪ Miss, miss me with the bull ♪

- More coffee, Gary?

- No, I'm good. Thank you very much.

I'm gonna jump on those lunches, though.

- Already done, señor.

Turkey sandwich for Ollie,

peanut butter and banana for Imani.

- Yes! Yummy!

- Smells so good. Good morning, chicken nuggets.

both: Good morning, Mommy.

- Buenos dias. Can I get you something, Bree?

Waffles, eggs, yogurt parfait?

[lively music]

♪ ♪

[music stops]

[music starts]

- Look, Mommy! I told Jesús

this was my favorite shirt, and look!

He got the stain out!

- That is amazing!

- It was a lot of work,

but I never quit until I get the job done.

- [laughs softly]

- ♪ Oh, he's so handsome ♪

- [groaning]

Well, we better get coming. Going!

We'd better get going. Let's go, chop, chop.

- C'mon, guys. It's time to go.

- Have a great day. Enjoy your lunch, I love you.

- Bye, Dad. I love you. - Ollie.

Here we go.

And thank you very much, Jesús. - De nada.

- We're gonna be late. - Outta my way.

- Okay. [clears throat]

- So, uh, about Jesús.

- You're right, he's a mistake. We should not have hired him.

We should let him go.

I mean, he's spoiling our children.

- Actually, what I was gonna say was you were right.

And I wish we had found him a long time ago.

Let's do it, babe. Let's make him permanent.

- You know, let's put a pin in it,

because I'm gonna be late.

And don't forget we have that cocktail party tonight

for the hospital board. All right?

Speaking of which, I'm trying to find my dress

that I need to steam. I have no idea where it is.

- Yeah? Oh!

Jesús took care of it. Ain't he the man?

- Yeah, mm-hmm. He the man.

Yeah, he is a man.

- The blue. Definitely.

Classic, sophisticated, understated, sexy.

That print is just-- it's trying too hard.

- Are you sure?

It's my first Facebook Live event.

- The blue. Trust me.

- All right. Vanessa?

- Oh, the print. Absolutely.

More stylish, cool.

Oh, hey, Ari!

- Hey, Vanessa.

Look, you two have fun at the event, okay?

I gotta head to work.

- Can't wait till you're here, babe.

Love you.

- Love you too, Senator.

- [laughs] - Now go kill it.

Bye.

- Oh, you are gonna kill it. - I hope so.

[laughs]

- We are one phone call away

from FAI demanding their advance back.

You need to find an artist, or we'll both be out of a job

and Curtis does not do poverty.

- Well, neither does Hazel.

But how many ways can I say, "I'm looking"?

- What about your friend Regina?

- Regina? [scoffs]

Hell, no.

She's just a painful memory

with a great set of pipes.

- Wait, are we talking "Lavender Moon" Regina?

Regina Crowell?

- Mm-hmm. We saw her last night.

- By accident.

And we're not friends anymore. Or ever.

- What does that matter?

It's not about friendship. It's about business.

We've listened to so many artists.

That's the first one I've heard you say anything nice about.

- [sighs] Okay, I made a mistake.

I must be slipping.

[sighs] Okay.

I admit the woman can sing. Really sing.

And any label would be lucky to have her, except mine.

- [sighs] Look, you have to take a chance on someone.

We're running out of time.

- No.

If you could've seen the way that bitch blew me off.

[scoffs]

- So you had a bad history. So what?

If Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey

can bury the hatchet, so can you.

- I'll think about it. - Mm-hmm.

- I have arrived!

- Oh, yay, Tony!

- Oh, great. Your wedding planner's here.

The perfect way to distract from financial ruin:

spend more money.

- I was thinking the exact same thing.

Yay, team.

A latte, two Splendas. Thanks, dear.

- The insults to my character.

- Darling, ah! My blushing bride!

But if I was getting a piece of that,

I would be blushing too.

- Uh-uh, sorry Tony. I'm taken.

[blowing kisses]

- Oh, my God, stop it, you two. We have so much to discuss.

Venues, dress designers, but first things first.

What are we doing for the bridesmaid proposal?

I brought a bunch of samples.

Unless you already have all that planned.

- Uh, proposals?

Uh, what the hell are you talking about?

- Oh, my young bride. You have so much to learn.

Thank God you have me.

- Ooh! [giggles]

- What we have seen time and time again,

despite promises to the contrary,

is low-income housing being torn down

and turned into high-cost apartments and condos

with absolutely no plan

for serving our vulnerable communities.

- My husband, the Senator.

Would you look at him?

God, he's doing incredible.

- When does gentrification

start to feel more like genocide?

- I like that shirt. He looks cute.

- Ugh, girl, I don't.

He looks like a millennial.

I told him to wear the blue.

- Mm, I don't know, Aria.

I think the people have spoken, and they like it.

- Mm, "You are sexy as fuck." "How married are you?"

- He's talking about low-income housing.

How is that sexy?

- I don't think they care what he's talking about

as long as he keeps on talking.

Someone's just asking if he's into threesomes.

Are you into threesomes?

- Okay, I'm shutting this shit off.

[device beeps]

So, how's Maxine?

- That girls' crazier than a fish with tits.

[laughs] - Jayla!

- The fish just swam in. I gotta go.

Hi, Maxine. You okay?

- [sighs] I need your help.

Brian's girlfriend Waffle Ho keeps posting pictures

of my kids on her Facebook page and I am sick of it.

I need this shit to cease and desist right now.

- Can't. That's legal.

And you're supposed to be keeping a low profile

after that TMZ interview?

Remember, we are making the case

that you're the responsible parent here.

You're making this difficult.

- What, someone puts a camera in my face, I'm not gonna talk?

- Stop--everything you do is gonna be scrutinized.

If you don't like the pictures on Facebook,

then don't look at the Facebook page.

They're doing that to get under your skin.

To egg you on. Don't take the bait.

- Okay.

You're probably right. I should get back to work.

- There you go.

- At the company that I founded.

That my ex doesn't deserve a paper clip from.

- Yeah, okay.

And remember, rise above. When they go low...

- We stab them in the throat and watch them bleed out.

What, isn't that what Michelle Obama said?

- No, that's not-- - Google it.

- Oh, okay. - Bye.

- [sighs]

[laughs]

"My milkshake brings all my boys to the yard."

"He is bootylicious."

"Can I lick you?" Mmm, spicy.

- Welcome to the Organic Space.

Can I take your order?

- I'd like to have a slice

of vegan humble pie.

And a Coke.

- We don't serve Coke.

Not once in 20 years, and now twice in a week?

What have I done to reap this karma?

- Nigel's cousin told me where you worked,

so I came to...

[clears throat] apologize.

- For which offense?

I have a list, and I wanna make sure to check the right one.

- I may have come across too strong the other night.

I was just so shocked to see you singing in that dump.

- If you insult someone while apologizing,

it doesn't really count.

- Uh, no. Regina.

Reeg, Reg, Regina?

Um, look.

You've got more talent in your baby toe

than half the bitches out there.

I've got my own record label now.

- Oh! Good for you.

You always did like telling everybody what to do.

- It's called Ladies First,

which-- uh, you kind of qualify for.

[laughs]

Why don't you come in, and we can talk about

doing something together?

- Oh, so now you wanna help me?

- I'd be helping me out too.

Your voice deserves to be heard.

Why don't you let me put it out there?

- I got a feeling

that if I were to throw the I Ching sticks,

I would divine that your company

is in some serious trouble

for you to be sniffing around me.

- Well, I hate to break it to your "I-Chi" whatever,

but my company is doing just fine.

Actually, great.

- You know how I know you're lying?

Your mouth is moving.

- [scoffs] Fine.

If you want to spend your life

working at a "can't even get a damn Coke" diner

and singing on a roof, then you go right ahead.

I'm done trying.

Stay miserable.

And I'm not leaving you a damn tip.

Look like something dogs piss on.

Y'all are out here eating this.

- Namaste, bitch.

- You guys want anything else?

- Babe, I never even dreamed it would go so well.

And the upside is, I was at 1,000 followers this morning,

now I'm at 9.7.

- 9.8! - 9--

Wait, what? 9.8?

9.8k.

We're gonna pop champagne in the office when we hit 10.

- Oh, I mean, I remember when you hated follower counts.

- I know, I know.

But I'll admit it's nice to see the excitement.

Ugh, can't wait until you get here.

Oh, my external hard drive

sent you the flight info, right?

- Uh, your external hard drive?

- Uh, sorry. Inside joke.

They call Vanessa my external hard drive

because she remembers everything I can't.

- Ha, ha, ha, ha. So fun.

- 10,000!

- 10,000? We--babe, we hit 10,000.

[laughs]

I told you we would do it.

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

- [laughs] Whoo!

[champagne cork pops]

- [laughing]

Thank you.

- It looks so good. - Okay, did you rent out

the whole restaurant for us 'cause this is fancy.

- What, I can't take my girls and Jayla

to an elegant high tea every once in a while?

- Yes, you could, but you don't.

- Yeah, you've literally never done this before, Hazel.

But thank you for the invite. It's really nice.

- And Ari will be excited to celebrate when she gets here.

- Which is why you're in charge of opening her gifts.

- What? - No.

- Oops. - Thanks.

- And Versace, I need you to snap some pics for Insta.

Just to make her jealous.

- Got it. Pics to induce jealousy.

- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

- Oh, it says my name. - Yes.

- It says Bree. - Ari.

- Okay, this isn't, like,

some sort of murder mystery tea thing, is it?

Because I have a hospital function that I can't die for.

- What are we supposed to do with this?

- Put them together, duh.

- But it doesn't fit.

- Here we go. - Okay.

- Here we go.

- Okay. - Ah!

- All right, bingo. What do I win?

What do I win?

- Read it.

- "Will you be my maid of honor?"

- Oh, that's so cute! - Wait, okay, okay.

I haven't put mine together yet.

Let me read them when I put it together.

- [scoffs]

It says the same thing, genius.

- Wait, we're all maids of honor?

Oh, that's adorable. Oh, my God.

I say, "Yes!" Give me hugs.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

There's more. [laughs]

- Oh, there's more? Whoa, okay.

[laughter]

- Thank you. - Ooh!

- Thank you very much. - Oh, wow. It's heavy.

- Oh, hold up. Wait, wait.

I need to record this.

Tony says we're gonna need this for the video wedding album.

Oh wait, why's the bride doing this?

I have bridesmaids. You do it.

- Oh. Okay.

- Whoa! "Bridal Party Bitches"!

Yay, you're getting married!

- Oh, yes! Ari's gonna love this.

- Matron of honor.

Oh, look, I'm also a matron of honor.

- Mm-hm.

- Did you know this had my name on it?

- Oh, my gosh. So cute.

- What is this for?

- Those are the shoes you leave on, with nothing else.

- Oh, this is-- - I think I have one too!

- What-- where they going in this?

- Oh, wow. - Where's the rest of it?

- Tony must have guessed the sizes.

- Oh, no. This is my size.

- Oh, really? - Sure.

- I didn't really know bridesmaid proposals

were a thing until Tony schooled me.

- Tony Cataldo? - Mm-hmm.

- The wedding planner? He is pretty expensive.

I mean, that can't be cheap.

- No, it is not cheap.

Especially with these fancy-ass gift bags?

Girl, you are doing it.

- Well, it's like Tony says.

You only get married once. At a time.

- Well, Ladies First must be raking in the green.

- Not yet, but it will be. [laughs]

- Oh, well, you know what? I'm okay, thank you.

I have to try to stay sober enough

to suck up to a room full of board members.

- Well, if you drink up,

you'll tell your husband about Jesús.

- Wow, what are you, my couples therapist?

I'm gonna tell him when the time is right.

And when Jesús stops making all that slammin' arroz con pollo.

His chicken is never dry.

- But you're gonna have to tell Gary sooner than later.

- Okay. [laughs]

Now that that's settled, let's get back to Hazel.

You know, the one who's getting married?

The one who gave you all those great gifts?

And the one you ingrates haven't bothered to toast yet?

- [laughs] To Hazel, our blushing bride.

- For me. [giggles]

Best bridal bitches ever!

all: Yay! - Congratulations!

- Thank you! I'm so happy!

- ♪ Like a few trees and a light breeze ♪

- Yeah.

- You know, it takes such a great level of commitment

to be a surgeon,

I marvel at anybody willing to take on

any added responsibility, like Chief of Surgery.

- It's a lot, but, um, I think I might be up for the task.

- [laughs] My wife's so modest, isn't she?

She's definitely up for the task.

And not only is she an amazing surgeon,

but she's also very active in all of our kids' activities.

Trust me when I say this woman knows all about hard work.

- Oh. - I'm sure she does.

Good luck, dear. - Thank you.

- Nice meeting you. I love that brooch.

- You too. Yeah.

They look like they still do it.

They got good hips and everything.

- Yeah, I liked them. - Really?

They remind me of a couple in "Get Out."

- [laughs] - I don't know.

- You stop it. - Look.

- Mm. - I don't know how much

you're making for all this good PR,

but you're gonna get a raise.

- Oh, no, no, no. This isn't PR, baby.

I'm telling the truth.

- Aww, thank you, babe. I just love that you're here.

- I'm glad to be.

It just really feels good to be out of the house.

Thanks to Jesús.

Which reminds me, I gotta call the agency

and let them know that we wanna make--

- Let's just put a pin in that right now.

- It'll be quick. It'll be quick.

I just wanna pull the trigger so we don't lose him.

- Hi--can we just talk about that later?

- The contract expires at midnight tonight.

- So let's talk about it tomorrow.

- What is there to talk about? And I don't understand.

Why are you not jumping on this?

I mean, this dude is amazing, right?

The kids, they love him.

You even said his arroz con pollo goes hard.

And it does go hard. I mean, what's the problem?

- I slept with him. - What?!

- Elaine, Joseph, I want you to meet Dr. Washington.

This is the orthopedic surgeon that I messaged you about.

- Oh, yes. We already just met.

- [gasps] Gary was just telling us

how active she is in her children's activity.

- Yes, I'm very active.

- Oh, well active AF.

- Gary, I'm Dr. Reynard. Nice to finally meet you.

- Yeah, likewise.

- And Gary is just so amazing.

I mean, without him I wouldn't be able to do

half the things I could do without his support and love.

- Oh, that's good to hear.

As challenging as this job is, it comes with loads of perks,

like that, uh, substantial pay raise I mentioned to you.

- Which will come in handy.

Two kids, private school. Doesn't come cheap in New York.

- Actually, our kids go to public school.

- Oh, really?

I thought Bree was expressing interest in having your kids

go to Heathwood Academy at some point.

- Oh, really?

Well, I don't know what Bree said or didn't say,

but we're not interested in private school.

I believe in public education.

That's why I teach at a public school.

- Mm. - My apologies.

I did not know that. Bree never mentioned that.

- Well, there's a whole lot Bree

didn't mention before tonight, right Bree?

- [laughs nervously]

Gary--well, what Gary means is that--

- No, don't do that. Don't do that.

That's not funny at all. 'Cause what Gary means

is I cannot believe you lied to me.

The whole time, Bree. Excuse me.

- Uh...

- [laughs nervously]

Um, he is just not feeling well right now

because he's got a low blood sugar thing.

And I'm going to make sure he gets, like, an orange slide.

Excuse me.

[light music]

- Where is the talent? [sighs]

♪ ♪

- Seriously?

- What is she doing here? - Um...

- You told me she was hysterically begging for me

to come over here and that she needed to be sedated.

- Well, technically, wine is a sedative.

Sorry, Hazel. I took the initiative

and extended an olive branch on your behalf.

- Well, you know where you can stick that branch.

Thanks for coming by.

- This was such a waste of time.

- No, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait, okay, stop.

Let's just drop the pretense and be honest here, okay?

Uh, Hazel has a company

she's trying hard to get off the ground.

And you have a talent that's underserved.

If you two could just put your petty differences aside,

you would see that this could be a win for both of you.

♪ ♪

- [sighs]

- Yes!

- Having had a chance to meditate on it,

getting back in the studio

isn't the worst idea I've ever heard.

- [sighs]

Is that your way of telling me

how spiritually superior you are,

or that you're ready to work?

- Yes. I want to work.

I just don't know if I want to work with you.

- Why is everything always so difficult with you?

- I'm not being difficult. I'm being cautious.

I just need some time to think this through.

- Okay, well think on this.

How many people are gonna take a chance on you?

- Ugh.

- I believe in you, Regina.

- I need a formal contract.

- Ah!

- [laughs] Curtis.

- Consider it done.

- [laughs]

Oh, well, cheers! [laughs]

- Oh, yes!

Oh, I need one too!

- I'm so glad you still drink.

- I'm spiritual, but I'm not stupid.

[both laugh]

- Mmm. I gotta call my sponsor now.

[lively string music playing]

- [sighs]

♪ ♪

- You fucked Jesús?

- Yes. Once.

But when we were separated, okay?

He was some bartender.

I had no idea he had, like, a secret manny life.

- How could you not tell me,

like, the moment you saw him at our house?

- I know.

I know, but the kids were so happy.

You were finding time to write.

I mean, the man is a beast with the air fryer and a steamer.

That's really rare.

- C'mon, Bree. You could've told me.

- In my defense, I did ask you

to hire someone that looked like Mrs. Doubtfire.

- I was just hiring the best person for the job.

Now, sadly, in the interview, I forgot to ask,

"Hey, did you have sex with my wife?"

Now, thanks to you,

I gotta fire him and I gotta tell the kids.

- Okay, look, Gary, yes. I know.

Maybe I should have first told you about Jesús

when I first saw him in the kitchen,

but let's not act all victim-y and self-righteous

like you didn't have a whole-ass relationship

when we were married.

And I don't remember you running home

to tell me about that shit at all, all right?

In fact, you were, like,

flaunting this fit bitch in my face,

bringing her to my child's birthday party!

- You invited her. I didn't invite her.

- Yes! Yes, I did, indeed.

And I had to put on a brave face and not embarrass you,

unlike what you just did to me in there!

- You have no idea how you made me feel.

- Are you serious?

Yes, I do. I actually do.

Except your betrayal happened when we were married,

not separated.

I had to get over it, and so do you.

If you're playing for tips,

you are not getting anything from me!

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, how are you? So nice to meet you.

Um, I'll be right back.

David? The Mayor's arrived.

His office wants to do press photos.

- Uh, have you heard from Ari? She should be here by now.

- Not yet. I've left several messages.

- Senator, can we get a few photos

in front of the banner, please?

- Uh, sure. Yeah, yeah, just a minute.

- Thank you.

- Hey, babe. Uh, I'm not sure

if I should be worried or angry that you're not here,

but please call me back.

- Still nothing? - Nope.

[sighs] My wife is a no-show.

- Okay, don't worry about it. You're good.

Um, I'll fill in for the photos.

No one will even notice the difference.

- You know, I-- - Come on, come on.

It's your big day. Let's go.

- You know what?

You're-you're right. This is my big day.

- Exactly. Let's go.

- All right.

- ♪ I wonder if you need me ♪

♪ Wonder if you see me ♪

♪ See me when you're dreaming ♪

[reporters talking over each other]

- Mrs. Montgomery? - Perfect.

- Right here.

- Ma'am? - Perfect.

- Perfect.

- ♪ What am I? ♪

- ♪ Hell yeah ♪

- ♪ Number one, yeah, I'm still number one ♪

- ♪ Hell yeah ♪

- ♪ Number one, I'll always be number one ♪

♪ Hell, I took you from minor to major ♪

♪ You wanted me for the fruits of my labor ♪

- ♪ Hell yeah ♪

- ♪ Number one, yeah, I'm still number one ♪

- ♪ Hell yeah ♪

- ♪ Number one, I'll always be number one ♪

♪ Don't forget, yeah, I'm still number one ♪

- ♪ Hell yeah ♪