Original subtitles

Can someone please pass me the gravy?

Yeah, su...

Ya done?

Just about.

Now I'm done.

Yes, you are.

Do you know how long you two have been in this ridiculous dogfight over Jo?

I'll tell you how long.

I started shavin' my legs.

I started growin' a mustache.

So did I.

It's been almost two months. I've had it.

Daddy, Jo kissed me, I didn't kiss Jo.

What am I supposed to do? I can't just snap my fingers and be ugly.

How many times have I told y'all, no phones at the dinner table?

All phones. Come on. The middle of the table, now!

- Are you serious? - Come on!

Beau, there might be some inappropriate texts from Boone

that may not be suitable...

- Not you, Bailey. - Thank goodness.

You can't read that! That's my phone!

And yet, each month, the bill comes to me.

Sugar, you cannot read your daughter's texts.

Thank you, Summer.

I got you, girl.

Yeah, and I got girl's phone.

Cassidy, why aren't you going with Lilly and her mama

to this LeAnn Rimes concert tomorrow?

LeAnn Rimes?

I'm busy.

Busy?

I'm free!

Cassidy, LeAnn Rimes is one of you and your mama's favorites of all time.

I just don't wanna go, Daddy.

She doesn't wanna go, Daddy.

You answer that, I'm taking your cell phone away for a week.

But Daddy, this call is about a big audition for Bailey.

It's cute, her being a nanny now,

but when Chloe's 20, it's just gonna be sad.

So sad.

One week, Dylan.

A week will fly by. Pick it up, baby!

Dylan Management here.

Last chance, Dylan.

Yes, I know exactly where that is. She'll be there.

Gotta run! Beyoncé's on the other line!

One week, no phone.

- Are you serious? - Yes, I'm serious.

Seems like y'all forgot who the boss is around here.

No, "Are you serious?" was to Dylan.

You got me an audition with Rocky Top Records?

Not that you're not the boss. And may I say, an excellent boss.

But boss, Rocky Top Records is the Motown of country music!

And they're looking for five nobodies to sing at their big 25th Anniversary Gala

where they'll pick one of those nobodies and make 'em a somebody.

- And who's more of a nobody than me? - Nobody!

Right, boss?

I don't get it, sweetie.

It's more than just a concert.

Your whole class is getting a meet-and-greet with LeAnn Rimes herself.

I know why she doesn't wanna go, Daddy.

I sure would like your password to buy some new apps.

Honey, my password won't do you any good if you don't have an iPad.

Cass doesn't want to go 'cause it's a mother-daughter class trip.

My iPad's my lifeline!

Honey. I'm so sorry.

Yes, darlin'.

So sorry.

But I totally get why you wouldn't wanna go.

Darlin', what if someone,

who's not tryin' to replace your mama, but someone who cares for you

and doesn't want you to have regrets, offered to go with ya?

Well, Mama would hate for me to miss LeAnn.

Yes, she would.

Thanks, Summer.

Bailey, would you go with me?

What did you say?

She said, "Bailey, would you..."

I heard her.

Cass, there's nothin' I'd love more than to go with ya to see Miss LeAnn.

- I'm fangirlin' just thinkin' about... - We get it. You love her.

But I got this big audition tomorrow.

Guess who has zero to do tomorrow?

- What time's your audition? - Eleven a.m.

Perfect. The bus doesn't leave till 1:00. Please come with me, Bailey.

Sweetie, I've seen LeAnn, like, seven times.

I bet Summer's never even seen her...

It's okay.

It's okay, Bailey.

It doesn't matter who takes her, as long as Cassidy's happy.

Well, isn't that gracious of Summer,

puttin' your happiness in front of everything?

That's the kind of person I wanna spend a whole day with.

Now, is there anything you wanna say to her?

Thank you for not comin' with me, Summer.

Mornin', Daddy.

Sweetie! Look how cute you look in your LeAnn shirt.

"LeAnn Freakin' Rimes!"

Nice boobies!

That is not appropriate for someone your age.

Whoa, girl. If I may say...

No, you may not.

Better be careful, bro. You don't wanna make your girlfriend, Jo, jealous.

Brody, I thought we were movin' on from this.

I thought so, too.

I was wrong.

I told Jo I only liked her as a friend.

Do you lick all your friends?

Boys!

Now, we're settling this today.

And not like two screaming hens, like two grown men.

After I drop Cassidy off at the bus, we're heading to the archery range.

Wait, seriously?

Isn't that a little Neanderthal-ly?

You wouldn't understand, okay? You're not a man.

Not with those boobies.

See, men will just keep on arguing until there's a clear winner and a loser.

So, what does the winner get? Jo?

Bailey, that is offensive.

Jo is a human being, not some kind of prize.

- That is so... - Neanderthal-ly?

Look, my point is,

this is about winnin' and losin'.

Tuck's won one, now Brody has to win.

- What if Brody doesn't win? - He will.

How do you know?

I know.

Come on. Let's get movin', boys.

Prepare to be humiliated.

I am always prepared.

Shoot.

Hey! If y'all are leavin', who's gonna take care of me?

Well, sweetie, your daddy was kind enough to give me the whole day off,

so I thought it might be a nice idea if...

Chloe!

No, you didn't!

I know how you want the kids to warm up to Summer, so…

That is very thoughtful, Bailey.

Chloe, we are gonna have us such a good time today!

Have you seen Handmaid's Tale?

Summer, when I mentioned movies,

I was thinkin' more like Frozen or The Incredibles.

- What is she, six? - Yes.

Come on, Bailey, we can't be late. I have a reputation to start.

Bailey, wait.

Okay, you don't have to do this,

but all the mothers and daughters

are gonna be wearin' LeAnn T-shirts, and I know you're not my mama...

You mean somethin' like this?

- Same! - Same!

Bailey, you're the best!

Isn't she?

- You crushed it, sweetheart! - Okay.

A, you're 12, stop callin' me sweetheart. And B, you really think I crushed it?

Trust me, Bailey, I know talent.

Of course you do. You've been in this business ten minutes? Okay.

How we doin' on time?

We gotta move! I gotta meet Cass.

What kind of manager are you? You're supposed to manage my time.

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

- Bailey. - Boone.

That's Boone? I pictured him more Brad Pitt-y.

- So good to see you, Boone. - Good to see you, too, Bailey.

- I mean, how long has it been? - Two months and 16 days.

Which I only know 'cause I'm keepin' track

of the exact amount of time I've been happier than I've ever been.

- Well, I'm happy you're... - So happy.

Well, I gotta run. It's crazy seein' ya.

- You know what's crazy? - Bet you're gonna tell me.

Runnin' into you at this audition.

You were sure that dumpin' me from the group

would propel ya into stardom. Guess I wasn't what was holdin' you back.

All due respect, aren't you auditioning too?

I didn't have to dump you to not make it. I'm a failure all on my own.

Okay, it was great seein' ya, Bailey.

Whoa, let it go, Boone.

Relationships end. It happens.

But you need to move on. I have.

And I truly do wish you and the girl who replaced me

nothin' but the best.

With that, I bid y'all adieu.

I forgot to wish y'all good luck!

Break a leg on the audition, y'all!

Got it.

You know, even when you kill a fake bug to distract me,

I'm still a better shot than you.

Really? Then why am I winnin'?

'Cause you're better?

That's right, I'm better.

- That's what I said. You're better. - Who's better?

- I think we've established Brody's better. - And why is Brody better?

‘Cause Daddy asked me to let you win ‘cause you lost out on Jo

and he didn't want you to be a double loser.

Daddy, is that true?

Of course that's not true. What are you talkin' about?

I brought you out here to bond

and have fun and start acting like brothers again.

Now, go get your arrows and let's start havin' some fun.

What is wrong with you?

It's not enough that the girl he liked liked you?

Now you gotta make him feel insecure about how he shoots his arrow?

I don't think we have to worry about him ever shooting his arrow.

That's not nice. Funny, but not nice!

Come on. This boy needs a win.

Fine. I tell ya what.

I'll shoot this next one with my eyes closed.

No, wait, your brother!

Dang, look at this traffic.

Call Cass. I thought I calculated my time perfectly.

Maybe you should've left a minute or 20

to let the guy who dumped you know how happy you are.

So happy. I bet he's still talking about how happy I am.

Ya know when someone's real upset, they keep talkin' and talkin'...

- And talkin'. - Yeah, right?

Bailey?

Cassidy!

It's almost 1:00. Where are you?

Sorry I'm late, sweetie, but guess who I ran into?

Boone. Girl, you would've been so proud.

I was cool as a cucumber in a summer salad.

- I was cool, right, Dylan? - So cool.

The bus has to leave at 1:00 or we won't make it to the concert.

- We're close, hon. Dylan, how far are we? - ETA is 2:15.

We're not close.

You ride there with Lilly and her mama and I'll meet ya at LeAnn Freakin' Rimes!

Cross at the crotch. Cross at the crotch.

Cross at the crotch.

Why are we crossin' at the crotch?

'Cause it makes your hips look smaller.

Now, pivot, turn,

keep your eyes on the judges

and smile as they ask you the big question.

What question?

Why doesn't Cassidy like me?

Cassidy? Lilly? Lilly's mama?

- Over there! - Where?

Right there! That's Carrie Underwood! Carrie! Dylan Management!

Dylan!

Hey, Lilly!

No. You didn't already meet LeAnn?

Don't tell me I missed Cassidy's face when...

Where is her face? Still in there?

Her face didn't come.

What?

Bailey, when you told Cassidy you'd be late

'cause your ex-boyfriend was more important than her,

you were on speakerphone.

The child was crushed. Her whole being was deflated and she went home.

- But I told her I'd meet her here. - Bless your heart.

You obviously don't have any children of your own.

- What am I missin'? - You mean other than the bus?

Who cares about the bus?

The important part was Cass meeting LeAnn. Did you know LeAnn was her mom's favorite?

Course I know that. I'm her best friend.

You wanna know what else I know that you don't?

When Cassidy's mama was sick, she recorded a LeAnn song special for Cass

that Cass still needs to listen to every night just to fall asleep.

She does?

Bailey, I don't wanna make you feel worse.

Do it, Mama.

But the only reason that Cassidy had the strength to take

this mother-daughter trip was because you were gonna be on that bus with her.

Do you know what that sweet girl swimming in that big ol' bus seat

all by her lonesome said to me

- before you called saying you'd meet her? - No.

She told me it was the first time since she lost her mama

she was startin' to feel normal again.

Bailey!

Hey, Lilly. Hey, Lilly's mama.

I just gave Carrie Underwood my card. And the second she said she'd call me,

I knew right then and there that was not Carrie Underwood.

Dylan, we gotta get home.

Cassidy never came here.

She's sitting at home crying because I didn't show up on the bus for her.

It's okay, Bailey.

Tell ya what. On our way out, we'll swing by LeAnn's ride.

I'll give her my business card and ask her to sign this koozie,

which I promise you will put a smile right back...

That's Kacey Musgraves.

Kace! Dylan Management!

How many times do I have to tell you it was an accident?

You almost killed me!

What happened, Brody?

What happened? Tuck, do you wanna tell Chloe?

First, he stabs me in the heart by stealing my girl.

Then, he literally tries to stab me in the heart!

Cass? What are you doin' here? Why aren't you at the LeAnn concert?

There was an unfortunate situation with Bailey.

I don't like to talk out of school,

but "selfish" is not a pretty color on a nanny.

Honey, what happened?

Cassidy, sweetie, I'm so sorry.

Before you say anything...

I never wanna see you again.

I said "before you say anything."

Will someone tell me what happened?

Bailey never showed up for the bus, but I was there for Cassidy.

You're up to speed!

Beau, I went on my audition as planned, was about to leave as planned,

then I ran into Boone, which was not planned...

You didn't show up for my daughter 'cause you ran into your ex-boyfriend?

I called Cass and said I'd meet her at the concert, not havin' any idea that

the most important part of that trip was the two of us ridin' the bus together.

How could I have not known that?

I'll tell you how. 'Cause I obviously know nothin' about children.

Make like you didn't hear that.

All I know is when Lilly told me that you got off that bus,

it broke my heart.

I've had plenty of heartbreak, but it has never felt like this before.

So, what are you doing to me, kid?

When I took this job, I thought it was just a job, but then you went and made me

start carin' about you, and worryin' about you, and lovin' you.

It's…

It's hard.

How do mamas do it?

The same way daddies do it.

One day at a time.

Look, Cass, I know I can't make up for missin' the bus.

But I know how special LeAnn Rimes is to you and your mama.

And since it's my fault you missed her,

I brought you back a really cool present from the LeAnn concert.

I don't want anything from the LeAnn concert.

Not even LeAnn?

That's LeAnn Rimes. In our house!

Hey, girl.

Son, show some respect for Miss Rimes,

who I can't believe is standin' in our house.

Hi, Miss Rimes.

Hi, y'all. I'm LeAnn...

Freakin' Rimes! Ooh!

Forgive me for starin', Miss Rimes, it's just…

seein' you in person, I never realized how much you look like my wife.

Summer.

Big fan.

- Just like my boyfriend! - Yeah.

And you must be Cassidy.

Mind if I sit?

My gosh. Miss Rimes, what are you doing here?

Not that I don't want you to be here, but what are you doing...

It's ‘cause of me! I told her how much you love her

and how much your mama loved her and how...

Didn't we agree that I'd do the talking?

But can you get to how you were moved by the heartbreaking story

I told you about Cassidy to get you to come here? That's all.

Well, my band and I were on our way back to the hotel

when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, this lunatic jumps...

I'm the lunatic! Sorry.

So, she jumps on the hood of the car

and smashes her face against the windshield like...

Well, why don't you just go ahead and show 'em, lunatic?

If I were your manager,

you wouldn't have any riffraff like this stalkin' you.

My card.

[Rimes chuckles[

Look, Cassidy, Bailey is not the first crazy fan

that's tried to get me to come home with them.

But she is the first that I have ever said yes to.

And you know why?

'Cause she wouldn't stop talkin'?

And talkin'?

And talkin'?

Yeah, but all that talkin' touched my heart.

I understand that you lost your mama and you needed a nanny.

But I think this nanny needs you more than you need her.

I do. And I didn't even tell her that.

LeAnn Freakin' Rimes.

Well, you know what can sometimes heal a heart even better than words?

The right song at the right time.

You have any requests?

Can you be my nanny instead of Bailey?

I was thinkin' more like… What's your favorite song?

All your songs are my favorite.

I can't pick just one.

How about the one your mama recorded?

How do you know about that?

Was I not supposed to know about it? ‘Cause Lilly told me about it,

but she didn't tell me I wasn't supposed to know about it.

Do you know what, Cassidy?

I sure would love to hear your mama sing my song.

If you wanna play it for me. 'Cause if you don't, I completely understand.

Actually, I think LeAnn Rimes listenin' to Mama sing LeAnn Rimes

would be Mama's dream come true.

Sweetie, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to sing with your mama.

It's just that she's really good.

I got a little carried away.

And you're LeAnn Rimes,

and you're on my couch singing with my mama,

and I got carried away!

Well, do you think your mama would mind if I finish it?

I got you, Miss Rimes.

Sorry I hurt you, brother!

Hey, can we turn off this Dr. Phil episode and maybe hear a little somethin' more...

Coyote Ugly?

How do you know about that movie?

Me and Summer watched it today.

After The Incredibles!

Why are you cryin', honey?

Happy tears, darlin'.

Seein' Cassidy has Bailey to lean on again.

Even closer than ever.

My cup runneth over with joy!

LeAnn Freakin' Rimes!