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1
00:00:02,470 --> 00:00:03,600
(Homer grunts)
2
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:06,869
Bring up the couch.
3
00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:08,614
(grunting)
4
00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:13,552
(sighs)
5
00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:19,178
(clinking)
6
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,203
I'm a return!
7
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:37,967
(exclaims)
8
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,080
(school bell ringing)
9
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:48,308
(Barney belches)
10
00:00:50,851 --> 00:00:51,981
(tires screech)
11
00:00:51,986 --> 00:00:53,416
D'oh!
12
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,189
APP:
Turn left.
13
00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:58,261
You're the driver.
14
00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:00,493
(horns honking)
15
00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:01,694
MAN:
Watch it, ya jerk!
16
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:03,395
APP:
Turn left. Don't look at me.
17
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:04,597
Look at the road.
18
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:05,858
Yes, dear.
19
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:08,266
(tires screeching,
horns honking)
20
00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:12,199
In 50 feet ago,U-turn without signaling.
21
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:13,406
Oh...
22
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,037
(tires screech)
23
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:17,782
(horn honks)
24
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:19,548
Turn left, into Garbage Alley.
25
00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:21,947
(engine revving,
tires screeching)
26
00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:25,384
(tires screech)
27
00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:27,116
Mmm.
28
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,188
Uh, uh...
29
00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:34,633
Huh? What? Huh?
30
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,428
What the hell do those mean?
31
00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:39,131
Can't stop,I have to hit one of them.
32
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:40,573
Man or dog?
33
00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:42,068
Oh, it's a Snoopy's Choice.
34
00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:43,899
(sighs)
I guess your days
35
00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:45,644
of eating out of the garbageare over, Gil.
36
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:47,069
Hey...
(yells)
37
00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:48,414
(moans)
38
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:50,909
APP:
I was never here.
39
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:53,151
I saw nothing.
40
00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:56,922
Now I do have to warn
you, if Gil sues,
41
00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:58,947
he'll end up with
everything you've got.
42
00:01:58,953 --> 00:02:00,593
But that's everything I got.
43
00:02:00,588 --> 00:02:03,918
Okay, kids, give me
your best worried looks.
44
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,494
Ooh, that's good worry.
45
00:02:05,493 --> 00:02:07,263
And Maggie, when we visit Gil,
46
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:10,131
you should think about your mom
and me disappearing forever
47
00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:12,501
any time we step behind a wall.
48
00:02:14,068 --> 00:02:15,668
Where am I?
49
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:16,969
Where am I?
50
00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,501
(footsteps departing)
51
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:21,466
No, seriously, where did I go?
52
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:22,665
It's so dark in here.
53
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:24,136
(shrieks)
Maggie!
54
00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:26,705
(pounding on wall)
55
00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:30,152
Ol' Gil,
56
00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:32,781
there must be something
we can do for you.
57
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,786
Hmm? Hmm?
58
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:37,288
Ah, there sure is, you can
let me scratch your husband.
59
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:38,621
Sure, but why?
60
00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:40,126
Because you're
the lottery ticket
61
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,957
I've been waiting
for all my life!
62
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:43,302
Bam!
63
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:45,297
Zing!
Before this goes
any further,
64
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:48,469
can you just take one look
at our darling daughters?
65
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:51,699
Mr. Gunderson? They don't let
saxophones in the I.C.U.,
66
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:54,135
so I'll just tell you
the song I wrote for you.
67
00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:55,511
B-flat, C, D-flat...
68
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,379
If memory serves,
you have a son.
...B-flat, C...
69
00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:59,648
Where's he at?
♪ Long G. ♪
70
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:03,047
(imitates old woman): I'm here
to give Mr. Gunderson his shot.
71
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:05,150
Boy, the "putting
him in a coma" idea
72
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:06,992
was just dinner
table chatter.
73
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:08,547
I did not sign off.
74
00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:10,156
You tapped your nose.
75
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:11,657
I was scratching it.
76
00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:14,989
Well, I got to put
something in a coma.
77
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:17,725
Why, you little...
78
00:03:17,731 --> 00:03:19,731
(moans)
79
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:22,033
Well, I'll see you in court.
Zing!
80
00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:23,166
Ah, cha-cha-cha!
81
00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,670
Cha-cha-cha?
82
00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:25,842
That's hopeful.
83
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,509
Cha-cha-ching!
84
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,238
Oh.
85
00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:34,752
Your Honor, my client
had just turned his life around.
86
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:37,048
His daughter recently bought
a washing machine
87
00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:39,081
and promised him the box
to live in.
88
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:41,046
Do you think they'll send
Dad away forever?
89
00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:42,545
Oh, no, sweetie.
90
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,686
They just want
all our money.
91
00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:48,162
(gasps) Will they send us
to live with other families?
92
00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:50,757
(horse neighs)
93
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:55,033
Miss Simpson, from now on
you shall live with us,
94
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:57,865
receiving musical instruction
from Mr. Adolphe Sax himself.
95
00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,271
(whoops)
96
00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:01,573
Adolphe. A name that
will only be associated
97
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:04,035
with beautiful music.
98
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:07,214
BART: We'll be freeto do whatever we want.
99
00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:09,054
A thousand bucks a kidney?
100
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,119
Take them both.
101
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:11,217
Hmm.
102
00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:13,288
BART:
Ay, caramba!
103
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:15,187
(both sigh)
104
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:17,763
Mr. Simpson,
105
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,588
you deliberately ran your car
106
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,463
into my paycheck...
I-I mean, my client.
107
00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:24,433
No, "paycheck" is better.
108
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,901
What possible defense
could you have?
109
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,230
I had no other choice.
110
00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:29,425
I didn't want to hit a dog.
111
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:30,436
ALL:
Aw...
112
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:31,967
A dog?
He saved a dog?
113
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,572
He was gonna
save a dog.
Wow.
114
00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:34,914
People love dogs.
115
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:36,978
This is our key
to winning this case.
116
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:38,107
You're on my side, right?
117
00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:39,242
I am.
118
00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:40,476
(whoops)
119
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,445
Now, go ahead, son.
120
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,820
You tell us how
you got your dog.
121
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,419
(in Cockney accent):
It was Christmas, sir.
122
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:50,261
We saved him
and he saved us.
123
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,917
Now we love the dog,
124
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:54,625
and the dog gives us
all the love we could handle.
125
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,988
Love.
126
00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,256
ALL:
Aw...
127
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:58,964
Could the stenographer
read that last part back
128
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,926
with sentimental music?
129
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:03,304
(sentimental music playing)
(Cockney accent):
"The dog gives us all the love
130
00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:06,344
we could handle. Love."
131
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,638
Does the defendant
ask this court
132
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,183
to believe that in order
to avoid hitting a dog,
133
00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:14,509
it is acceptable
to hit a human--
134
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,105
my client?
135
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:18,346
It's looking good, Homie.
According to our consultant,
136
00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:21,052
the toughest nut to crack
is juror number six.
137
00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:24,022
Aw, good doggy.
138
00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:26,964
Ladies and gentlemen,
this man is a human being,
139
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,290
just like you or me.
140
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:31,496
Surely his life has more value
141
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:35,968
than some creature that scoots
its buttocks along the ground.
142
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:37,299
ALL:
Aw...
143
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:38,774
Or-or gets
its head stuck
144
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:40,812
in an empty
pickle jar.
145
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:42,308
ALL:
Aw!
146
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:44,539
Or walks on
a hot sidewalk
147
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:47,505
in a way that suggests
it's dancing!
148
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,824
ALL:
Aw!
149
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:52,047
This is ridiculous.
I'm a human being here,
150
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:53,992
not some dumb animal.
151
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,317
What?
I never.
152
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:57,162
Who are you
calling dumb?
153
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:59,827
The dogs who sniff for bombs
at the airport?
154
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:04,557
The St. Bernards who save lives
on the slopes of St. Moritz?
155
00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:06,155
Or this one?
156
00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:08,226
(playing "The Maple Leaf Rag")
157
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:13,544
(all laughing)
(Gil moans)
158
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,640
Now, I have a brief instruction
for the jury:
159
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:18,182
"There's more sanctity
in a dog's loyalty
160
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:20,408
than there is
in all your human laws."
161
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:26,518
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury, how...
162
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,350
Not guilty.
(sighs)
163
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:29,715
Case dismissed.
164
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:32,893
We won! It's all
because of you, boy.
165
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,393
Mwah.
CROWD:
Aw...
166
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:36,355
Aw, I have never
been more glad
167
00:06:36,363 --> 00:06:38,203
that I didn't hit
you with my car,
168
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:40,028
secretly bury you,
get another greyhound,
169
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:43,103
paint it your exact coloring,
then realize it's a girl,
170
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,703
stick on a fake wang, and
pretend that she's you
171
00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:48,066
for however long
dogs live.
172
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,335
CROWD:
Aw...
173
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:53,705
Take us to the dog park!
174
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:55,384
(all cheering)
175
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:57,382
I know I've been through a lot,
176
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,954
but I always believed people
cared about a human being
177
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,793
more than a dog.
178
00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:04,059
HOMER: Hold it,
I forgot my phone charger.
179
00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:05,787
(Gil screams)
180
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:07,133
(sighs)
181
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,127
(screams)
182
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:10,629
HOMER: Oh, wait,
this isn't mine.
183
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:12,861
(moans)
184
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:19,240
It's now official:
a Springfield jury has decided
185
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:22,439
that the life of this greyhound
is more valuable
186
00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:25,143
than the life of this
Greyhound station inhabitant.
187
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:28,745
Look at me, I'm a big man.
A big man!
188
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,119
Anybody got a quarter?
189
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:32,417
Got to be a quarter,
not two dimes and a nickel.
190
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:33,949
That ain't worth jack.
191
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,154
What's your take on all
this, Anger Watkins?
192
00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:39,456
I'm angrier than a beehive
in a paint mixer.
193
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,430
This is the craziest
legal decision
194
00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:43,328
ever made outside
of Arizona.
195
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:45,430
What's next?
Cats get credit cards?
196
00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:47,672
Let a snail race
in the Indy 500?
197
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:49,768
(whispers):
Like that stupid movie Turbo?
198
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:52,440
I tried to inhale
nitrous oxide to get fast.
199
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:55,509
I ended up naked
behind an appliance store!
200
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:56,609
Lies!
201
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:58,510
Lies! Lies!
202
00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:01,682
Oh, you're gonna get
ten walks a day, boy.
203
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,822
(quietly): You can
even bite the mailman.
204
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:04,877
(whines happily)
205
00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:07,646
There he is.
206
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:09,994
America's number one
doggy daddy.
207
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,460
Would you care to
do the honors?
208
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:12,618
Would I!
209
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,786
Uh, that's what I asked.
210
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,595
Would you?
211
00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,127
(shutter clicks)
212
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,971
You're the greatest man
I know one thing about!
213
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:23,238
(cheering, horns honking)
214
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,011
Look at all those voters.
215
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,039
What is our current position
on dogs?
216
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,714
We currently have
a city employee
217
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:34,983
who rounds them up
and puts them to sleep.
218
00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:36,982
What? I can't believe
such a jerk
219
00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:38,984
would even be
elected dog catcher.
220
00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:41,486
From this point forth,
this town will be known
221
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:44,218
as the dog-loving capital
of the world.
222
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,724
That'll put Springfield
on the map.
223
00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:47,556
Yeah, why aren't we
on the map?
224
00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:50,831
I don't know. I made, like,
20 calls to Rand McNally.
225
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,831
They don't even know
what state we're in.
226
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:56,073
Thanks to these hastily-passed
untested pandering laws,
227
00:08:56,069 --> 00:09:00,169
Springfield is now the most
dog-friendly city in America.
228
00:09:00,173 --> 00:09:01,673
(crowd cheers)
229
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:03,435
Er, uh, arf.
230
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,220
♪ ♪
231
00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:31,597
(gasps)
232
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:42,453
Is there anything here
the dogs haven't gotten into?
233
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:44,119
Just the dog food.
234
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,217
Why are you shutting me down?
235
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:48,449
You made a dog wait
for a teeth cleaning
236
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:51,215
while you saved a
racehorse's life?
237
00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:54,434
And you call yourself
a veterinarian. Ha.
238
00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:55,888
And you know what
we found inside?
239
00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,556
Dogs in cages.
240
00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:59,464
That's no way to treat
man's best friend.
241
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:00,596
Lock him up.
242
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:01,731
In a cage.
243
00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:02,925
Like a dog.
244
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,236
Don't you understand?
245
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:06,637
Dogs are born
to follow and obey.
246
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,410
The moment the pack realizes
247
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:11,078
that humans are no longer
their masters,
248
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:14,978
thousands of years
of domestication will fall away.
249
00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:18,082
They'll revert
to their wild wolf nature.
250
00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:19,475
Well, then I guess
you'll be happy
251
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:21,916
being nice and
safe in jail.
252
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:24,592
Oh, yes, please!
Take me there now.
253
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,091
You're all doomed!
254
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:28,333
Doomed.
255
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:31,596
Santa's Little Helper
didn't come home last night.
256
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:34,128
If you were a dog these
days, would you come home?
257
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,944
It's like doggy heaven
out there, only real.
258
00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,437
Doggy heaven isn't real?
259
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:39,638
No! No, it's real!
260
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,770
The dogs all have
harps and wings.
261
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,835
How do they play harps
if they don't have fingers?
262
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:46,014
Um... dogs have fingers
in heaven.
263
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,913
How do you know so much
about dog heaven?
264
00:10:47,914 --> 00:10:50,354
I died for five minutes and
was sent there by mistake.
265
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:51,620
Now leave me alone.
266
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:54,018
(whining)
267
00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:57,456
Hmm...
268
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:58,957
Ooh! Come on, girl.
269
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:01,289
Ow! Ow, ow. Just get
him by the collar.
270
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:03,504
You can do it. Come
on, don't bite me.
271
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,457
Come on. Pull.
Come on.
272
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,665
Dad, we don't have
time for this.
273
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:09,498
Quiet. I'm doing
something important.
274
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,843
There you go.
Yes, that's it!
275
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,838
Well, well, well,
276
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,810
look what the cat dragged in.
277
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:18,810
Worth it.
Totally worth it.
278
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:20,152
I know.
279
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:21,647
(dogs barking)
280
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:23,348
(barking continues)
281
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:29,220
Kirk, Taquito is
digging up my dahlias.
282
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,662
Stop him.
Mm.
283
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:34,058
Sorry.
(growling)
284
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:35,331
(gasps)
Please don't hurt me.
285
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:36,698
I'm exposing my belly.
286
00:11:36,697 --> 00:11:39,497
See? Exposing. Exposing!
(gasping)
287
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:41,529
(growling)
288
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:43,365
(dogs snarling)
289
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,112
(growling)
290
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,752
(howls)
291
00:11:57,751 --> 00:12:00,621
(chuckles)
See ya later, Moe!
292
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:05,419
Huh? My car's not starting.
293
00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:07,685
Oh, I see the problem.
294
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:09,534
Out of gas.
295
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:11,759
Well, probably safer
to walk anyway.
296
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:16,197
Yep, nothing safer than walking.
297
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:17,873
This is so healthy.
298
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:20,211
Thanks to this walk,
I'll live a lot longer.
299
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:22,667
(dramatic music plays)
300
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,606
(dogs growling)
301
00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:31,375
Hey, here come some
of my four-footed friends.
302
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:33,624
I guess you want to meet the guy
who's responsible
303
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:35,550
for making
all your lives better.
304
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,115
(dogs growling)
305
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:39,124
Okay, wait a minute.
Let me guess.
306
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:41,286
Collie, dachshund,
Tibetan Mastiff,
307
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,234
otterhound, Swedish Vallhund,
308
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:45,460
Finnish Spitz,
Norwegian Lundehund,
309
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:48,725
Catahoula Leopard Dog,
Lagotto Romagnolo,
310
00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:50,295
and three wolves!
311
00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:52,303
(shrieks)
312
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,535
Stand back! Back!
313
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:56,909
Ow!
314
00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,310
Oh!
(snarling)
315
00:12:58,311 --> 00:12:59,641
You don't scare me.
316
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:01,546
Your bark is worse
than your bite.
317
00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:03,078
(barking)
318
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:05,053
Oh, those horrible barks!
319
00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:07,721
(Homer whimpering)
320
00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:08,791
(dogs barking)
321
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,289
(yipping)
322
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,590
BUDGIE:
Dr. Budgie warned them.
323
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,162
Dr. Budgie warned all of them.
324
00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:16,161
But did they listen
to Dr. Budgie?
325
00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:18,603
All right, that's it.
I'm comin' in there!
326
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:20,428
Oh, for cryin'
out... (sighs)
327
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,433
Maybe if I
turn sideways.
328
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:24,835
(grunts) Lou, get
the bar butter!
329
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:28,938
This is what happens when
you buy European prison cells.
330
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:29,942
(gasps)
331
00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:31,443
(growling)
332
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:34,314
(grunting, panting)
Kids, lower the Purge armor!
333
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,154
We don't have
any Purge armor.
334
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,819
Oh, right. I always mean to buy
it the day after the Purge,
335
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,649
when it's cheaper.
What happened?
336
00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:42,154
The dogs have gone savage!
337
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,785
They've taken over the town!
338
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:44,790
(howling in distance)
(whines)
339
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:45,791
(gasps)
No, boy.
340
00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:47,632
Resist the call of the wild.
341
00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:49,857
Like I did when they assigned
that book for summer reading.
342
00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:52,063
Somebody help! Stop him!
343
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,000
(laughing)
344
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,001
(grunts)
345
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,172
D'oh!
346
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,970
Oh, we've lost him to the pack.
347
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:01,673
No, he's a good dog.
348
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,465
He'd never turn against us.
349
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:06,336
Hmm, he's ripping the stuffing
out of your car seats.
350
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,646
Oh, yeah?!
351
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:08,847
You think you're so smart?!
352
00:14:08,849 --> 00:14:11,979
Okay! I'm eating your dog food!
353
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,685
This is on you!
354
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,547
Mmm. Oh, yeah.
355
00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:21,759
(dogs howling)
356
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:26,734
Hmm. Not one student
showed up to school
357
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:29,733
just because a pack
of ferocious, masterless dogs
358
00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:31,496
are roaming the playground.
359
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,344
GIL:
Ow! Damn it!
360
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:36,340
I thought we sent Willie
out there to deal with them.
361
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:39,683
I did. But he, uh,
hasn't returned.
362
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:42,679
I've finally been accepted
for who I truly am.
363
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:45,022
(howls)
364
00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:47,588
(grunting, snarling)
365
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:51,692
(dogs snarling)
366
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,691
How come I don't get
a dog-proof suit?
367
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,693
Because I smell
like lamb, Lou.
368
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:58,355
Very well. You were
right and we were wrong.
369
00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:01,865
Yes. Um, can you remove
the shackles?
370
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:03,368
Don't push your luck.
371
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:06,070
These dogs, they walk around
all high and mighty,
372
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,412
no regard for anyone else
on the planet.
373
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,238
I mean, that's humans' job!
374
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:13,083
Repeal the stupid new laws!
375
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,049
Yes. Repeal the dog--
376
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:17,418
(quietly):
and child labor-- laws!
377
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:20,047
Fine, just the dog ones.
378
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:21,623
I say "status," you say...
379
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:22,621
CROWD:
Quo!
380
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:24,062
So passed!
381
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:27,287
Well, everything's back
to normal again.
382
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:29,864
It's a pity no one told
the dogs that.
383
00:15:29,863 --> 00:15:31,733
CROWD: Huh?
Wha?!
384
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:34,571
You fools have surrendered
your position as alpha dogs.
385
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,937
Until you reassert
human dominance,
386
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:41,107
it is you who will be calling
these savage canines master.
387
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:45,077
Who among you is brave enough
to tame this slobbering horde?
388
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,738
(panicked chatter)
389
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:48,276
(chatter dies away)
390
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:51,081
Well, I guess
it's up to ol' Gil.
391
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,824
Gil? Why are you helping
these people
392
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:54,419
who think
so little of you?
393
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:56,091
That's why
I'm doin' it!
394
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:58,989
To show everyone I'm
not the town failure.
395
00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:01,432
I thought I was
the town failure!
396
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:03,328
(chuckles)
You're not even that.
397
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:04,560
Aw!
398
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,104
So who will come with me?!
399
00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,769
CROWD:
None of us!
400
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,097
One more time!
401
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:10,302
CROWD:
Nobody!
402
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,143
I can't hear you!
403
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,708
CROWD:
Yes, you can!
404
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,344
Standing next to me
405
00:16:16,343 --> 00:16:18,343
is the man whose life
we all agreed
406
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:20,345
was worth less than a dog.
407
00:16:20,347 --> 00:16:24,517
I say we stand behind him
as he redeems himself!
408
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:26,177
Even though he did
nothing wrong.
409
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:28,646
CROWD (chanting):
Gil, Gil, Gil, Gil,
410
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:31,285
Gil, Gil, Gil, Gil, Gil,
411
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,731
Gil, Gil!
412
00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:38,156
We've got to get
Santa's Little Helper back.
413
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,804
(stammers)
It's too dangerous!
414
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,470
You kids
ain't goin' nowhere!
415
00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:43,769
I got this.
416
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,541
(snoring)
417
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,540
Fine. But we
can't go out alone.
418
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:53,042
We need someone who knows
how to fend off angry dogs.
419
00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:55,376
(raving indistinctly)
420
00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:57,052
Here, boy! Come on, boy!
421
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:59,150
Oh, where can he be?
422
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,992
(Cat Lady moans)
423
00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:03,217
(creaking)
424
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:18,195
Grampa, I called to make sure
the kids are okay.
425
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,714
They're not okay!
The boy's got sass,
426
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:23,037
and the girl thinks
she's Queen of the May.
427
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:25,713
You leave 'em with me
and I'll straighten 'em out!
428
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,382
I did leave them with you.
429
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,350
Why the hell would you do that?!
430
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,719
Here, boy.
Here, boy. Here, boy.
431
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,218
(squeaking)
432
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,919
(both whimpering)
433
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:39,617
(gasps)
It's the alpha.
434
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,225
I know that dog.
435
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,860
It's the one Milhouse got
436
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:48,425
when he didn't wet
the bed for a week.
437
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:53,604
(growling)
438
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,042
We're about to die
at the hands of a dog!
439
00:17:58,044 --> 00:17:59,744
Paws. Dogs have paws.
440
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:02,076
Just remember the last thing
you did in life was correct me.
441
00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:04,222
Oh, that actually
makes me feel better.
442
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:06,677
♪ ♪
443
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:13,894
This has gone on long enough!
444
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:15,593
(yipping)
445
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:16,585
You sit!
446
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:17,726
(growling)
447
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:18,800
(growling)
448
00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:20,798
(growling)
449
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,970
(yipping)
450
00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:24,699
I'm sorry!
451
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:28,905
Mom, you've become
the alpha dog!
452
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:31,738
Dogs are nice.
I love dogs.
453
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:33,984
Because, in dogs,
we see the things we wish
454
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:36,250
we saw more of in people:
455
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:39,449
lifelong friendship,
unwavering loyalty,
456
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:42,752
and a willingness
to eat anything you cook.
457
00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:44,085
You rang?
458
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:46,290
Ol' Gil's here
to save the day!
459
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:48,292
Where are those out
of control pooches?
460
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:50,804
Sorry, ol' Gil,
you're too late.
461
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:53,257
But-but I was supposed
to redeem myself
462
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:55,296
and finally earn
the town's respect.
463
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,101
Uh, good job, Gil.
464
00:18:57,103 --> 00:19:00,813
You had to stop at the Automat
for an egg salad sandwich.
465
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:03,007
Well, at least
you still have the sandwich.
466
00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:04,909
(growls)
Uh... Aw...
467
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:08,009
Baz, you belong
with the Flanders.
468
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:09,114
Okily-dokily.
469
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:10,845
Dalmatian, fire department.
470
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:13,020
(barks, siren wails)
471
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:14,649
Mr. Burns, the hounds.
472
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,154
Excellent.
473
00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:17,616
Uh, since you were gone,
474
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,294
all I had to release were
the June bugs.
475
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:22,632
(buzzing)
476
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:23,999
Willie, Skinner.
477
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:26,057
Aw, good boy.
478
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,130
(howls)
479
00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:33,435
♪ Oh, you're my best friend ♪
480
00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:35,139
♪ ♪
481
00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:38,811
♪ Ooh, you make me livenow, honey ♪
482
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,141
♪ Ooh, you make me live... ♪
(meows)
483
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:42,006
You'll have your day.
484
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:43,075
(meows)
485
00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:50,393
It's gonna be hard to cheer
myself up after this day.
486
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:51,820
(whimpering)
487
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,164
Hey, little fella!
488
00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:54,859
You had a bad night, too, huh?
489
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:58,001
Come on out. I won't hurt ya.
490
00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:02,197
(chuckles) You just licked away
a very bad day.
491
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,832
(barking)
492
00:20:03,836 --> 00:20:05,636
Attaboy!
493
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:54,088
(dog howling)
Shh!
494
00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:58,959
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