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1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000
www.moviesubtitles.org
2
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:22,349
My upstairs neighbor is hot.
3
00:01:24,352 --> 00:01:25,392
I think preggers had
her baby.
4
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:26,249
Yhe bump's gone.
5
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:27,217
Maybe she lost it.
6
00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:27,885
Honey!
7
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,321
You don't know.
8
00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:30,888
Well, I think we should figure
out which apartment is hers
9
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,794
And take her something.
10
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:33,686
Like what? A card to say
congratulations
11
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:34,857
For possibly having the baby
12
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,455
We assumed you were carrying?
13
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,167
You're no fun. Why are you
being difficult?
14
00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:40,369
I'm not being difficult.
15
00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:41,741
I'm just merely challenging
your assumption.
16
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:42,739
Uh-huh.
17
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:43,840
Did you see the guy downstairs?
18
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:45,641
Someone moved in?
19
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:46,343
Yeah, I guess. I saw him
earlier.
20
00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:47,444
Is he cute?
21
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:48,775
You'd probably think so.
22
00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:50,439
He kind of looks like Adam
Levine...
23
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:54,248
If Adam Levine worked the late
night shift at Burger King.
24
00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,387
Did you find the cocoa?
25
00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:04,232
No, this is for you.
26
00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:05,188
What is it?
27
00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:08,896
Hot salt water. Go gargle it.
28
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,667
So you're sure this is over?
29
00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:18,513
I moved out.
30
00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:19,639
What'd you move?
31
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,513
Your loufa?
32
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:22,642
He took his name off the lease.
33
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:23,706
The apartment's mine.
34
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:25,414
Oh, it's always been yours.
35
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:29,276
Like a storage unit with
carpet.
36
00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:35,415
Darren, please tell me this is
new.
37
00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:37,326
I got it like a couple weeks
ago?
38
00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:39,888
Ugh. It's a bacteria ball.
39
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:41,457
Do you realize the only way to
clean those
40
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:44,365
Is to soak them in detergent
after every use?
41
00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:45,368
I mean, who really has that
much time
42
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:49,239
To put into a delicate bath
poof?
43
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:57,852
Have you decided what you're
going to do with yourself?
44
00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:00,348
Other than dust this place?
45
00:03:00,381 --> 00:03:02,481
Greg, I'm fine. I've got it
figured out.
46
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:05,746
You do?
47
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:09,716
Okay.
48
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,926
Don't you have an event to plan?
49
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:18,832
Should you be having drinks
with one of the brides-to-be?
50
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:21,766
Oh, yeah. Drinks and a
cake-tasting.
51
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:23,302
Well, don't let me keep you.
52
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:25,667
Don't worry, I planned
accordingly.
53
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:29,436
My maternal instincts said to
stop here and check on you first.
54
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,009
Well, what's the matter,
Ben?
55
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,476
Don't you think I can?
56
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:37,546
Yeah, that's the trouble. I do.
57
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:40,285
Oh, Ben...
58
00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:41,891
It isn't because I'm not fond
of you,
59
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:44,262
You know that, but...
60
00:03:44,292 --> 00:03:46,362
Well, I've just got to have a
try at it, that's all.
61
00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:48,304
If I don't, I'll turn into one
of those women
62
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:50,529
Who keep talking about what a
great career
63
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:54,374
They would've had if they
hadn't gotten married.
64
00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:05,775
Guess what!
65
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:07,623
What?
66
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:09,548
I have another audition this
week!
67
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,823
That's great, honey! What's it
for?
68
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:12,521
A sausage commercial.
69
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:13,523
A sausage commercial?
70
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,394
Yeah.
71
00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:16,593
See, I look like some greasy,
sausage-eating serial killer
72
00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:17,964
In my head shots.
73
00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:18,831
Have some more taken.
74
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,489
I know. I need to
75
00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:21,498
I'm probably going to lay out
at the pool all day tomorrow.
76
00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:21,999
Not all day, all right?
77
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:22,829
You'll burn.
78
00:05:52,653 --> 00:05:53,493
What are you doing?
79
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:56,085
Watching you fall asleep.
80
00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:57,433
Why?
81
00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:58,088
What else am I gonna do?
82
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,125
Isn't it boring?
83
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:00,830
Like watching a hippopotamus at
the zoo?
84
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,061
What? Why?
85
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,595
Because, nothing happens...
86
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:05,832
Why aren't you tired?
87
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:06,826
I don't know.
88
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:07,797
Are you okay?
89
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:09,565
You've seemed a little distant.
90
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:11,173
Distant? Why?
91
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,614
Because you aren't six inches
deep?
92
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:13,540
Thanks.
93
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,184
What?
94
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,408
Next time I'll use my pinky.
95
00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:18,875
Maybe I'll read some more of
that book.
96
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,452
Have a glass of warm milk.
97
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,181
No, you know, actually...
98
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,045
I think I'm gonna go down to
the gym for a bit.
99
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:26,953
That'll wipe me out
100
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:21,514
Hi. Hi. I'm sorry, I know it's
really late.
101
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:22,842
You said the light in your
kitchen went off?
102
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,046
Yeah, well, I plugged the
toaster in...
103
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:27,878
And then everything along this
wall went out.
104
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:31,785
The lamp, the refrigerator...
105
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,190
There you go.
106
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:34,991
That's it?
107
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:38,192
That's it.
108
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:40,185
What was I not doing?
109
00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:43,957
You've gotta turn it all the way to
the right until you hear it click.
110
00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:46,996
If it happens again, just give
me a call.
111
00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:49,204
Thank you.
112
00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:51,936
Oh...
113
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:55,882
I think you dropped this.
114
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:57,280
Is he yours?
115
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,810
Yeah.
116
00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:00,046
Yeah, he looks like you.
117
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,280
How old is he?
118
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,184
There he's two, but he's three
now.
119
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,917
Well, I bet he's a handful.
120
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:09,594
I'll let you get back to him.
121
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:13,263
He lives with his mom,
actually.
122
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:18,025
I was gonna make some coffee...
123
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:22,643
Would you like a cup?
124
00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:26,744
So... I've forgotten your name,
I'm sorry.
125
00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:28,914
It's Joe.
126
00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:31,182
Joe... how long have you been
working here?
127
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:33,081
About a year, I guess.
128
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:35,023
Do you like it?
129
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:36,848
It beat some of the other jobs
I've had.
130
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,154
How often do you get to see
your little boy?
131
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,045
It's been over a year since
I've seen him...
132
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:41,247
My ex-wife hauled him up north
133
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:45,128
And I don't get much vacation
time, so...
134
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,227
Thanks.
135
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,761
So, are you from Nashville?
136
00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:51,298
Just outside.
137
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:52,331
What about you?
138
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,265
I grew up in California.
139
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:57,342
How'd you end up all the way
over here?
140
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:01,680
Well, I... I met someone and
fell in love
141
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:04,949
And this became home.
142
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:07,208
How long were you together?
143
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:11,077
We were never actually
together, actually...
144
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,690
But, then I met my ex and we
were together eight years.
145
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:19,190
God, yeah, I was eighteen when
we met.
146
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:22,156
I was eighteen when I got
engaged.
147
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:23,655
Why'd you split up?
148
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:26,297
I got tired of carrying around
all the guilt.
149
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:30,103
I wanted to start living more
openly and honestly.
150
00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:32,738
About?
151
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:35,613
About being gay.
152
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:38,783
Oh, I wasn't sure.
153
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,682
Sure of what?
154
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:41,824
If you were.
155
00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:44,319
Yeah, aren't you?
156
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:48,291
Yeah.
157
00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:50,757
Well, thank you, Darren.
158
00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,391
This is real nice.
159
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:55,795
Please, I didn't feel like
sleeping anyway...
160
00:09:55,829 --> 00:09:56,799
Toast?
161
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:57,770
Nah.
162
00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:59,268
Suit yourself.
163
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:02,399
Okay, maybe just one piece.
164
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,335
Are you hungry?
165
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:06,141
I mean, I've got stuff I can
kinda make...
166
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:08,113
No, toast just sounded really
good.
167
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:09,641
Yeah, I feel like I have the
munchies...
168
00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:11,647
Do you do that? Do you smoke?
169
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:13,179
I mean, I haven't in a really
long time.
170
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:14,153
Yeah, me either.
171
00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:17,151
My ex was... quite opposed.
172
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:18,994
And it's not like I can now,
173
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,719
I wouldn't even know where to
get the shit.
174
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:24,955
So, what do you do?
175
00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:27,702
I don't do much of anything.
176
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:30,098
But, I guess calling about a
blown fuse at one a. m.
177
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,130
Is kind of a giveaway.
178
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:35,167
I'm close!
179
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:37,402
Go, baby, go!
180
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:12,842
Did you see this?
181
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,943
Some kid threw a desk
182
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:16,705
And he's being charged with
assault with a deadly weapon.
183
00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:17,784
Hey, that movie's still
playing...
184
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:18,851
What movie?
185
00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:20,349
The new Almodovar film...
186
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:21,780
I think it's closing tomorrow.
187
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:23,875
Do you want to go tonight?
188
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,747
I don't know...
189
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:27,186
I'd probably fall asleep
reading the subtitles.
190
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,160
Maybe there's a decent bootleg
191
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,189
Or screener rip somewhere
online?
192
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:31,933
We could watch it this weekend.
193
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:33,389
I'm checking right now.
194
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,496
I don't see anything.
195
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,028
Well, honey, go.
196
00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:38,334
Go see it tonight.
197
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,865
I don't want to go alone.
198
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,070
When has that ever stopped you?
199
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:41,901
You love Pedro's stuff.
200
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:42,865
Go.
201
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:43,903
Okay.
202
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:44,907
There's an early showing...
203
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,138
I could be back before dinner.
204
00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:47,043
Perfect.
205
00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:50,844
Well, I need to get back.
206
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:52,908
Enjoy the movie.
207
00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:55,146
Thanks for lunch.
208
00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:58,613
Hey, Darren!
209
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,338
Hi.
210
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:01,473
Hey.
211
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:02,178
You like nice.
212
00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:04,139
Were you out?
213
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,377
Yeah.
214
00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:10,023
Joe, I'm really tired.
215
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:12,390
Okay.
216
00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:16,359
Good night.
217
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:06,944
Hi.
218
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:10,944
Hi.
219
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,678
Is that a record?
220
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:17,553
Yeah. I like the sound, it's
warmer.
221
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:20,352
Well, I remembered you said you
wish you had some,
222
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:22,217
So...
223
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:25,155
Uh, wow...
224
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:27,592
You didn't have to do this, Joe.
225
00:15:27,627 --> 00:15:30,597
I wanted to.
226
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:33,000
I can't accept that.
227
00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:36,203
Yeah, take it. It's yours.
228
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:40,036
Okay. Well, um... at least have
some with me?
229
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,712
Am I interrupting?
230
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:48,577
Interrupting what?
231
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:49,315
It's just me.
232
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:53,289
Okay.
233
00:15:57,324 --> 00:16:01,294
Why'd that asshole leave you?
234
00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:05,328
He didn't really leave me...
235
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:07,725
He was interested in adding a
third.
236
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,667
To the relationship?
237
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,742
To the bedroom.
238
00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,541
I guess that's how it starts.
239
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:16,013
I don't know...
240
00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:19,253
I was an only child, I'm not
into group activities.
241
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:21,279
Who was it?
242
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,084
Someone he met at work.
243
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,117
Co-worker?
244
00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:28,723
Patient. Some twink.
245
00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:32,255
Urologist?
246
00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:34,792
Plastic surgeon.
247
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:38,497
I guess he was proud of his
work.
248
00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:39,671
Men are fucking assholes.
249
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,499
No...
250
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:43,435
Well, I left my wife...
251
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:44,800
You had a good reason.
252
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,767
I guess I shouldn't have
married her...
253
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:50,136
I was just scared.
254
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:52,707
Scared of what?
255
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:54,445
I don't know.
256
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:55,751
There are moments where it felt
right.
257
00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,622
Moments where I felt like I was
258
00:16:57,650 --> 00:17:00,720
Where I was supposed to be...
259
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:02,593
With the person I was supposed
to be with...
260
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:05,532
Being the person I was supposed
to be.
261
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:07,358
Then there were other moments I
felt like...
262
00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:11,634
I should be sucking a dick.
263
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,074
Do you regret it?
264
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,070
Getting married?
265
00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:16,242
No, I don't really regret it
all, because...
266
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:17,539
I wouldn't have had my son
267
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:18,840
And having him and being able
to hold him
268
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:22,681
Was really worth every bit of
being oppressed.
269
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:26,314
And when my wife took him away,
270
00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,116
I thought things would never
feel right again,
271
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,748
But... all of the sudden, they
start to.
272
00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:39,161
Yeah, well, I don't think...
273
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,692
I don't think your wife yanked
him away
274
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:44,527
Due to your inability to be a
loving father.
275
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:47,469
She's probably just pissed...
276
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:48,840
And taking it out on you.
277
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,598
You know? Maybe she's scared...
278
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:54,867
She probably realizes this is
it...
279
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:59,247
She's not going to find anybody
else like you.
280
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:02,879
I imagine straight men aren't
as gentle.
281
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:05,917
I know this is reaching way
back there, but...
282
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:10,122
Whatever happened to that guy
you moved here for?
283
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:16,302
It, uh... It was problematic.
284
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:20,669
We...
285
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:21,370
We met on the internet,
286
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:26,707
Spent like four days together...
287
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,879
Four days?
288
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:30,478
You packed up your entire life
289
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:34,350
And move across the country for
four days?
290
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:39,151
We were really young...
291
00:18:39,186 --> 00:18:43,316
In lust... It was an adventure.
292
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,456
I haven't had too many of those
since.
293
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:46,362
Did you know anybody here?
294
00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:48,633
Where'd you stay?
295
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:52,401
Until I met Mark, I lived out
of my car for a little while.
296
00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:57,872
Yeah.
297
00:18:57,904 --> 00:18:59,914
Does he know...
298
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:03,639
That's what you went through?
299
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:07,206
No... No, um...
300
00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:11,247
Leigh and I fell out of touch
for a while after that.
301
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:12,724
Do you guys still talk?
302
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:14,822
Mmhmm. Yeah, we talk.
303
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:17,264
He's my oldest friend.
304
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:19,230
So you see each other?
305
00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:23,529
No... um... He moved...
306
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:27,373
To California, actually. He
makes movies.
307
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:30,301
Anything I would've seen?
308
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:33,407
No, not unless you watch gay
movies.
309
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,210
Pornos?
310
00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:37,983
Gay-themed movies.
311
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,810
I mean, yeah, I've Netflixed
some.
312
00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:41,706
They're usually really bad.
313
00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:45,648
Yeah...
314
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:53,260
What's it about?
315
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:56,863
It's about two guys who spend
four days together...
316
00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:00,401
Guess I was just lucky enough
317
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:03,243
To have my heart broken by a
screenwriter.
318
00:20:17,284 --> 00:20:18,994
Honestly, I'm just gonna take a
break...
319
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:22,758
I mean, no one wants to finance
it because it's a drama.
320
00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:25,659
And you know, it's not just
that it's a drama,
321
00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:28,402
It's that it's serious.
322
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:30,728
I mean, gays want drama...
323
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:34,703
Clearly, it's innate... But
within a comedy.
324
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:38,314
A raunchy, feel-good romantic
comedy.
325
00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:40,938
God forbid you deny them a sex
scene...
326
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:44,713
Or make 'em think.
327
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,054
Well, how's everything else?
328
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:50,819
Great! Apparently, I am dating
the son of the Princess of Kuwait
329
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:55,888
And the Sheikh of Qatar.
330
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,792
How'd you meet?
331
00:20:57,824 --> 00:21:01,694
In a bar... aren't we classy.
332
00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:05,530
Gay men don't usually meet in
the
333
00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:07,595
"Let's tell the kids about
this" sorts of ways...
334
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:10,544
It's not like we meet at church
picnics
335
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:14,410
Or bump carts at the
supermarket...
336
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:18,081
I mean, like us! Look at how we
met.
337
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:31,023
Hi!
338
00:21:31,057 --> 00:21:33,057
Hi!
339
00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:34,732
God, I love the way summer
smells...
340
00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:36,001
Like chlorine with a hint of
barbeque.
341
00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:38,028
What have we here?
342
00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:39,474
I'm making duck.
343
00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:41,799
Duck? You've never made duck
for me before.
344
00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:43,774
Well, I've never actually
cooked it before...
345
00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,513
But I did see it done earlier
on the cooking channel
346
00:21:45,538 --> 00:21:49,078
And I'm feeling pretty good
about it so far.
347
00:21:55,081 --> 00:21:57,381
Oh, shit! Is that the entire
building, or just us?
348
00:21:57,417 --> 00:21:59,347
Just us!
349
00:21:59,386 --> 00:22:01,946
I'm sorry - I told you I've
never cooked duck before!
350
00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:06,992
What happened?
351
00:22:07,026 --> 00:22:08,826
I don't know!
352
00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:10,561
I guess the grease caught fire
when I wasn't looking...
353
00:22:10,597 --> 00:22:11,097
I was prepping the plum sauce.
354
00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:13,832
Are you mad?
355
00:22:13,866 --> 00:22:15,066
Why the hell would I be mad?
356
00:22:15,101 --> 00:22:17,401
I don't know...
357
00:22:17,437 --> 00:22:19,707
Maybe because last month we
almost broke up over a sandwich.
358
00:22:30,817 --> 00:22:31,747
Well, what do you
mean?
359
00:22:31,784 --> 00:22:32,924
Well, you're pretty young.
360
00:22:32,952 --> 00:22:34,952
I mean, you're pretty and young.
361
00:22:34,987 --> 00:22:36,487
And I can see you've got a lot
to learn...
362
00:22:36,523 --> 00:22:38,433
Oh, feel free to change the
channel...
363
00:22:38,458 --> 00:22:41,828
This is the only thing I could
find that wasn't a reality show.
364
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:45,971
No, it's fine... I just can't
believe it's on again.
365
00:22:45,998 --> 00:22:47,568
What is it?
366
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,570
Double Exposure.
367
00:22:49,602 --> 00:22:53,172
I mean, it's really good, if
you like old movies.
368
00:23:02,081 --> 00:23:05,121
I'm Luce...
369
00:23:05,151 --> 00:23:08,921
As in Lucy, not as in the
result of being a whore.
370
00:23:17,564 --> 00:23:20,474
So, which apartment are you?
371
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:23,740
Oh, I don't live here.
372
00:23:23,770 --> 00:23:26,010
You don't?
373
00:23:26,038 --> 00:23:27,038
I mean - sorry. I know someone
that lives here.
374
00:23:27,073 --> 00:23:29,183
Okay.
375
00:23:29,208 --> 00:23:30,508
Yeah, I don't just go around to
random apartments
376
00:23:30,543 --> 00:23:32,453
And use their gyms.
377
00:23:32,479 --> 00:23:34,649
No, I'm friends with someone
that lives here...
378
00:23:34,681 --> 00:23:36,721
Gotcha.
379
00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:38,219
They don't ever use their
gym pass,
380
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:40,190
So they gave it to me to use
whenever I want.
381
00:23:40,219 --> 00:23:40,949
You want any more of this?
382
00:23:40,987 --> 00:23:44,087
No, I'm good.
383
00:23:44,123 --> 00:23:47,933
So, you and your ex lived in
Cool Springs? Right?
384
00:23:49,529 --> 00:23:50,129
Uh-huh.
385
00:23:51,063 --> 00:23:52,233
That's kind of fancy...
386
00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:54,174
Yeah... He's still there.
387
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:58,140
Mmm.
388
00:23:58,971 --> 00:24:02,741
So...
389
00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:06,675
Were you, like... kept?
390
00:24:10,082 --> 00:24:12,852
I'm sorry, I hope I didn't
offend you with that question.
391
00:24:12,885 --> 00:24:16,785
No, I... I was.
392
00:24:18,157 --> 00:24:19,227
He was an older guy...
393
00:24:19,258 --> 00:24:20,828
He took care of me, but...
394
00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:22,900
I had my own ambitions...
395
00:24:22,929 --> 00:24:26,899
There were things that I wanted
to do...
396
00:24:26,933 --> 00:24:28,003
I took photographs...
397
00:24:28,034 --> 00:24:30,144
Mmhmm.
398
00:24:30,169 --> 00:24:32,239
I worked with this talent
agency and they'd send me models
399
00:24:32,271 --> 00:24:34,111
And actors looking for
headshots.
400
00:24:34,140 --> 00:24:35,810
That's why I got this place...
401
00:24:35,842 --> 00:24:38,682
But...
402
00:24:38,711 --> 00:24:40,711
I couldn't really stick with it.
403
00:24:40,747 --> 00:24:43,717
Every time they'd call or need
me,
404
00:24:43,750 --> 00:24:46,790
I'd be off with Mark somewhere.
405
00:24:46,819 --> 00:24:48,919
Holiday in Bermuda, whatever...
406
00:24:48,955 --> 00:24:52,825
It just didn't materialize.
407
00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:59,728
Yeah? Sure, why not.
408
00:25:01,167 --> 00:25:01,627
So, what do you do now?
409
00:25:01,668 --> 00:25:03,168
Now?
410
00:25:03,202 --> 00:25:07,072
Uh... Now, I... Uh...
411
00:25:12,979 --> 00:25:16,849
What is it, like, top secret?
412
00:25:17,717 --> 00:25:19,547
I grow facial hair...
413
00:25:19,586 --> 00:25:21,286
For a man I've never met...
414
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:25,060
Who pays me two hundred dollars
a week to see photographs.
415
00:25:29,061 --> 00:25:32,131
He pays you two hundred dollars
a week...?
416
00:25:32,164 --> 00:25:35,034
To take pictures of your
fucking facial hair?
417
00:25:35,067 --> 00:25:37,597
He PayPals me every Friday.
418
00:25:37,637 --> 00:25:39,607
That's the most incredible
thing I've ever heard.
419
00:25:39,639 --> 00:25:40,739
It takes care of the Amex bill.
420
00:25:40,773 --> 00:25:42,713
So, wait a minute though,
okay...
421
00:25:42,742 --> 00:25:46,682
How the fuck does someone
become a freelance beard-grower?
422
00:25:46,713 --> 00:25:48,083
How does that even happen?
423
00:25:48,114 --> 00:25:49,284
I answered an ad on Craigslist.
424
00:25:49,315 --> 00:25:50,775
What!
425
00:25:50,817 --> 00:25:51,917
"Can you grow a thick beard?"
426
00:25:51,951 --> 00:25:53,621
Yes.
427
00:25:53,653 --> 00:25:55,093
"Do you own a digital camera?"
428
00:25:55,121 --> 00:25:57,091
Yes.
429
00:25:57,123 --> 00:25:57,723
"Do you want to make two
hundred bucks a week?"
430
00:25:57,757 --> 00:25:59,827
Sure!
431
00:25:59,859 --> 00:26:01,189
That's incredible!
432
00:26:01,227 --> 00:26:02,797
I mean, I know it's crazy,
but...
433
00:26:02,829 --> 00:26:06,599
It motivated me to do something
about my situation.
434
00:26:06,633 --> 00:26:08,873
Oh, I'm not judging you by any
means.
435
00:26:08,901 --> 00:26:12,871
Trust me, I would gladly -
gladly -
436
00:26:12,905 --> 00:26:14,635
Hand the department of motor
vehicles
437
00:26:14,674 --> 00:26:16,244
My two week notice,
438
00:26:16,275 --> 00:26:18,275
If some cyber-perv wanted to pay
439
00:26:18,310 --> 00:26:20,180
My two hundred dollars a
fucking week
440
00:26:20,212 --> 00:26:21,282
To grow out my leg hair!
441
00:26:21,313 --> 00:26:23,623
Are you kidding me?
442
00:26:23,650 --> 00:26:26,920
I mean, my love life would
probably go down the toilet...
443
00:26:26,953 --> 00:26:28,093
But it would probably be worth
it...
444
00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:29,820
For a while, at least.
445
00:26:29,856 --> 00:26:32,086
Well, my gig pales in
comparison.
446
00:26:32,124 --> 00:26:35,094
You wouldn't believe some of
the other shit I saw on there.
447
00:26:35,127 --> 00:26:36,657
I wouldn't believe?
448
00:26:36,696 --> 00:26:40,266
Trust me, I frequent CraigsList
solely for amusement.
449
00:26:42,101 --> 00:26:44,041
The missed connections are
hilarious.
450
00:26:44,070 --> 00:26:45,400
What are missed connections?
451
00:26:45,437 --> 00:26:47,637
They're sort of like
personals...
452
00:26:47,674 --> 00:26:50,644
But for people who have kind of
already met.
453
00:26:50,677 --> 00:26:53,307
You know, they used to have
them in regular newspapers...
454
00:26:53,345 --> 00:26:55,145
Okay, example
455
00:26:55,181 --> 00:26:57,821
:We hung out the other night at
my apartment...
456
00:26:57,850 --> 00:27:00,750
And we watched The Breakfast
Club
457
00:27:00,787 --> 00:27:03,687
And then we fucked and then I
went to the bathroom...
458
00:27:03,723 --> 00:27:07,193
When I came out you were sticking
my flash drive up your vagina.
459
00:27:07,226 --> 00:27:08,356
I'd really like to see you
again,
460
00:27:08,394 --> 00:27:10,764
And my flash drive.
461
00:27:10,797 --> 00:27:12,027
You really have never seen
them?
462
00:27:12,064 --> 00:27:16,744
You need to.
463
00:27:16,769 --> 00:27:20,239
This nugget is shaped like
Indiana.
464
00:27:20,272 --> 00:27:21,942
I went to Indiana once.
465
00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:23,184
For what?
466
00:27:23,209 --> 00:27:24,379
A colonoscopy.
467
00:27:25,912 --> 00:27:27,312
You asked!
468
00:27:27,346 --> 00:27:28,976
I lost my virginity to a
colonoscopy.
469
00:27:29,015 --> 00:27:30,675
Shut the fuck up!
470
00:27:30,717 --> 00:27:32,077
For all intents and purposes!
471
00:27:32,118 --> 00:27:33,448
My doctor looked like C. Thomas
Howell.
472
00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:35,885
Ponyboy?
473
00:27:35,922 --> 00:27:37,692
Among other roles.
474
00:27:37,724 --> 00:27:38,694
Other roles?
475
00:27:38,725 --> 00:27:39,085
Yeah.
476
00:27:39,125 --> 00:27:39,755
What?
477
00:27:39,792 --> 00:27:40,362
Soul Man?
478
00:27:40,392 --> 00:27:41,392
Soul Man! Really?
479
00:27:41,427 --> 00:27:43,097
Exactly!
480
00:27:43,129 --> 00:27:44,159
'Cause that's what I like to
imagine...
481
00:27:44,196 --> 00:27:45,196
My doctor in fucking black face,
482
00:27:45,231 --> 00:27:48,301
Sticking a tube up my ass.
483
00:27:48,334 --> 00:27:50,974
I hate to be the bearer of bad
news...
484
00:27:51,003 --> 00:27:53,873
But I think these are
frostbitten.
485
00:27:53,906 --> 00:27:58,176
Well, they look fucked up.
486
00:27:58,210 --> 00:28:01,210
They have a sackful.
487
00:28:01,247 --> 00:28:02,307
You just get a lot of them?
488
00:28:02,348 --> 00:28:04,048
Yeah, you get twelve
489
00:28:04,083 --> 00:28:07,423
And then you get some fries and
two drinks.
490
00:28:07,453 --> 00:28:08,823
Let's do that.
491
00:28:08,855 --> 00:28:10,355
I like mine with cheese and
mayonnaise only,
492
00:28:10,389 --> 00:28:11,389
I hope that's not a problem.
493
00:28:11,423 --> 00:28:12,163
Uh-uh.
494
00:28:12,191 --> 00:28:13,931
No.
495
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,860
I fucking hate mustard!
496
00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:21,771
Thank you.
497
00:28:21,801 --> 00:28:24,771
Is that a birth mark?
498
00:28:24,804 --> 00:28:27,274
Uh, well... I don't want to be
too obvious.
499
00:28:27,306 --> 00:28:28,936
Too obvious about what?
500
00:28:28,975 --> 00:28:31,735
Oh, I think it's just...
501
00:28:31,778 --> 00:28:33,778
You know, like that dude in
Grease.
502
00:28:33,813 --> 00:28:36,083
What?
503
00:28:36,115 --> 00:28:38,315
You know, the one that's the
leader of the Scorpions.
504
00:28:38,350 --> 00:28:39,790
They call him Crater Face.
505
00:28:39,819 --> 00:28:40,819
Crater Face, yeah.
506
00:28:40,853 --> 00:28:42,023
Like Seal.
507
00:28:44,023 --> 00:28:45,293
I know, what's up with that?
508
00:28:45,324 --> 00:28:48,764
Why do girls like that shit so
much?
509
00:28:48,795 --> 00:28:51,155
Cha Cha wasn't bad looking.
510
00:28:51,197 --> 00:28:52,027
Remember?
511
00:28:52,064 --> 00:28:53,074
Cha Cha?
512
00:28:53,099 --> 00:28:54,069
The one that came...
513
00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:56,400
And caused Sandy and him
514
00:28:56,435 --> 00:28:59,535
To have a big tiff because she
danced with him?
515
00:28:59,571 --> 00:29:01,041
Oh! The fucking Puerto Rican
bitch!
516
00:29:01,073 --> 00:29:04,813
Oh - yes, yes.
517
00:29:04,844 --> 00:29:07,314
So, whatever happened to him?
518
00:29:07,346 --> 00:29:08,406
Who?
519
00:29:08,447 --> 00:29:10,877
C. Thomas Howell.
520
00:29:10,917 --> 00:29:13,287
Rae Dawn Chong and a ruptured
appendix.
521
00:29:17,323 --> 00:29:19,063
I had it bad for him.
522
00:29:19,091 --> 00:29:21,131
Oh, yeah?
523
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,960
Uh... I mean, I could tell from
our conversation earlier, but...
524
00:29:23,996 --> 00:29:27,826
I wore out my VHS copies of The
Outsiders,
525
00:29:30,302 --> 00:29:32,572
Side Out, and Soul Man...
526
00:29:32,604 --> 00:29:35,074
Like regular people wear out
hardcore porn.
527
00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:37,037
Did you ever seen that one movie
528
00:29:37,076 --> 00:29:39,976
Where he munched on Joan
Severance's box?
529
00:29:40,012 --> 00:29:43,522
And he had the handlebar
mustache?
530
00:29:43,549 --> 00:29:44,479
You didn't like that?
531
00:29:44,516 --> 00:29:47,586
Yeah, it was all right.
532
00:29:47,619 --> 00:29:51,419
I remember... racing back to
Blockbuster
533
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,560
To inquire about purchasing it
"previously viewed. "
534
00:29:57,596 --> 00:29:58,356
Mmhmm.
535
00:29:58,397 --> 00:29:59,967
They wouldn't do it.
536
00:29:59,999 --> 00:30:03,099
So then, I asked if I could
special order it...
537
00:30:03,135 --> 00:30:04,165
Couldn't do that...
538
00:30:04,203 --> 00:30:05,373
The damn thing was in
moratorium,
539
00:30:05,404 --> 00:30:06,844
They weren't making it anymore.
540
00:30:06,873 --> 00:30:08,843
You were fucking persistent.
541
00:30:08,875 --> 00:30:12,435
So, I rented it again and took
it home and tried to copy it...
542
00:30:15,081 --> 00:30:16,481
But that didn't work out so
well because
543
00:30:16,515 --> 00:30:18,845
Fucking Trimark had put one of
those
544
00:30:18,885 --> 00:30:23,115
Macrovision distorted signals on it
that prevent you from copying it...
545
00:30:23,155 --> 00:30:24,855
Like when you try and watch a
cable...
546
00:30:24,891 --> 00:30:26,161
Like Cinemax...
547
00:30:26,192 --> 00:30:28,362
Yeah, yeah - back before things
were digital
548
00:30:28,394 --> 00:30:30,504
And you're trying to get a
channel
549
00:30:30,529 --> 00:30:32,499
You're supposed to have and
it's all like...
550
00:30:32,531 --> 00:30:35,101
That's pretty much
what it looked like...
551
00:30:35,134 --> 00:30:37,174
And with that sound effect too.
552
00:30:37,203 --> 00:30:39,643
Well...
553
00:30:39,671 --> 00:30:41,471
Anyway, go ahead, I know what
you're saying...
554
00:30:41,507 --> 00:30:43,507
Anyway, I gave up after that...
555
00:30:43,542 --> 00:30:46,082
And it wasn't much long after
that
556
00:30:46,112 --> 00:30:49,922
That I had my first experience
with a man.
557
00:30:54,386 --> 00:30:55,286
Five people, right?
558
00:30:55,321 --> 00:30:59,291
Mmm...
559
00:31:01,327 --> 00:31:05,197
Seth Rogen... David Duchovny...
560
00:31:06,999 --> 00:31:09,599
Hold on. How do you spell
Duchovny?
561
00:31:12,371 --> 00:31:16,441
I don't know. It looks like
Dutch-oveny.
562
00:31:16,475 --> 00:31:19,245
It is - David Dutch-oveny.
563
00:31:19,278 --> 00:31:21,948
That's is name on the streets.
564
00:31:21,981 --> 00:31:22,611
All right...
565
00:31:22,648 --> 00:31:25,218
Uh, Rainn Wilson...
566
00:31:25,251 --> 00:31:27,651
Rainn Wilson from The Office?
567
00:31:27,686 --> 00:31:29,586
What other Rainn Wilson is
there?
568
00:31:29,621 --> 00:31:32,291
I always get him confused with
Bruce Willis' daughter.
569
00:31:32,324 --> 00:31:35,164
Rumor?
570
00:31:35,194 --> 00:31:38,564
The bitch looks like Big Mac
Tonight.
571
00:31:38,597 --> 00:31:40,567
Two more.
572
00:31:40,599 --> 00:31:42,029
Rob Zombie...
573
00:31:42,068 --> 00:31:45,238
And Alan Rickman.
574
00:31:45,271 --> 00:31:46,511
Snape?
575
00:31:46,538 --> 00:31:49,138
He's hot.
576
00:31:49,175 --> 00:31:50,305
Actions?
577
00:31:50,342 --> 00:31:54,512
Uh... bite... Lick...
578
00:31:57,149 --> 00:32:00,449
Suck... Fuck...
579
00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:04,360
Kiss.
580
00:32:04,390 --> 00:32:05,690
Body parts?
581
00:32:05,724 --> 00:32:08,594
Mouth... and, or lips...
582
00:32:08,627 --> 00:32:11,597
Breasts...
583
00:32:11,630 --> 00:32:15,070
Ass...
584
00:32:15,101 --> 00:32:19,411
Uh... vagina...
585
00:32:19,438 --> 00:32:21,208
Don't fucking do that.
586
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,340
What?
587
00:32:23,375 --> 00:32:25,235
I fucking can't stand when gay
guys do that.
588
00:32:25,277 --> 00:32:27,377
They act like fucking vaginas
589
00:32:27,413 --> 00:32:29,753
Are some kind of like toxic
wasteland
590
00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:31,521
And the grossest thing ever.
591
00:32:31,550 --> 00:32:33,020
Um, they are.
592
00:32:33,052 --> 00:32:35,192
Uh, first of all, you came out
of one!
593
00:32:35,221 --> 00:32:37,691
Second of all, you stick your
dick in a place
594
00:32:37,723 --> 00:32:40,193
That shit comes out of...
595
00:32:40,226 --> 00:32:43,396
I can't think of anything
groser.
596
00:32:43,429 --> 00:32:47,399
One more.
597
00:32:47,433 --> 00:32:51,403
Neck.
598
00:32:53,372 --> 00:32:57,242
Okay, I have to ask about
this...
599
00:32:59,211 --> 00:33:02,281
Enlighten me.
600
00:33:02,314 --> 00:33:04,284
Mark's idea of a gift.
601
00:33:04,316 --> 00:33:06,016
Like a gag gift?
602
00:33:06,052 --> 00:33:09,562
No, like, "Hi, honey. I went to
Germany, enjoy!"
603
00:33:09,588 --> 00:33:13,288
This was his idea of a romantic
gesture?
604
00:33:13,325 --> 00:33:15,355
Mark's one of those
ultra-conservatives
605
00:33:15,394 --> 00:33:19,104
Who's a radical in the bedroom.
606
00:33:19,131 --> 00:33:23,041
Wow... Who?
607
00:33:26,505 --> 00:33:30,335
Yeah... This is not good... At
all.
608
00:33:32,111 --> 00:33:34,081
You know what would be good...?
609
00:33:34,113 --> 00:33:37,753
Seth Rogen... sucking your
ass...
610
00:33:39,618 --> 00:33:42,588
On the rooftop of an
apartment building...
611
00:33:42,621 --> 00:33:45,821
To "Lay Lady Lay. "
612
00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:47,287
That happens to everyone...
613
00:33:47,326 --> 00:33:49,156
Seth Rogen's out sucking asses.
614
00:33:49,195 --> 00:33:51,255
Mmm! What?
615
00:33:51,297 --> 00:33:55,267
I need to go take a picture of
my face!
616
00:33:55,301 --> 00:33:57,771
Man, I wish I could read German!
617
00:33:57,803 --> 00:34:01,243
This stuff does look quite
fascinating...
618
00:34:01,273 --> 00:34:03,243
Like this dude in a gas mask...
619
00:34:03,275 --> 00:34:07,075
He looks like he just came out
of a fucking coalmine.
620
00:34:08,847 --> 00:34:10,177
Honey, change the
channel...
621
00:34:10,216 --> 00:34:11,816
No. Okay, wait a second,
622
00:34:11,850 --> 00:34:14,750
So... If gay marriage
supposedly devalues
623
00:34:14,786 --> 00:34:17,756
The sanctity of marriage, then
what's all this bullshit?
624
00:34:17,789 --> 00:34:20,359
Who's out there actively
protesting shows like The Bachelor?
625
00:34:20,392 --> 00:34:21,792
I love that you don't need a
football game
626
00:34:21,827 --> 00:34:23,557
To get drunk and scream at the
television.
627
00:34:23,595 --> 00:34:25,625
Well, it pisses me off, and I'm
tired of living here.
628
00:34:25,664 --> 00:34:29,574
Hey... Come here...
629
00:34:31,803 --> 00:34:33,413
We'll never be able
to get married here,
630
00:34:33,439 --> 00:34:35,439
It's fucking illegal to say the
word "gay" in this state.
631
00:34:35,474 --> 00:34:36,744
Please tell me you can hear
these people talking.
632
00:34:36,775 --> 00:34:38,535
Yeah, it's my upstairs
neighbors.
633
00:34:38,577 --> 00:34:42,347
How is it that we're able to
hear them so well?
634
00:34:42,381 --> 00:34:45,351
I don't know... it's some
acoustical oddness.
635
00:34:45,384 --> 00:34:47,624
Can they hear us?
636
00:34:47,653 --> 00:34:50,463
I don't think so.
637
00:34:50,489 --> 00:34:51,759
They're this really cute gay
couple...
638
00:34:51,790 --> 00:34:53,230
Oh, yeah? Uh-uh
639
00:34:53,259 --> 00:34:54,559
One of them looks like C.
Thomas Howell...
640
00:34:54,593 --> 00:34:55,663
Oh, Lord!
641
00:34:55,694 --> 00:34:57,634
I'm serious.
642
00:34:57,663 --> 00:34:58,703
And the other one looks like
Patrick Wilson.
643
00:34:58,730 --> 00:35:00,130
Oh, now he is hot!
644
00:35:00,166 --> 00:35:01,426
Did you ever see Little
Children?
645
00:35:01,467 --> 00:35:02,597
Mmhmm.
646
00:35:02,634 --> 00:35:04,744
That scene with him and Kate
Winslet...
647
00:35:04,770 --> 00:35:06,340
Oh, my God...
648
00:35:06,372 --> 00:35:07,372
On the washing machine?
649
00:35:07,406 --> 00:35:08,766
I didn't know who to look at!
650
00:35:08,807 --> 00:35:11,707
I knew what to look at -
between his legs.
651
00:35:11,743 --> 00:35:15,253
I just remember pausing it
right on his ass
652
00:35:15,281 --> 00:35:17,851
And looking at it for long
periods of time.
653
00:35:17,883 --> 00:35:19,393
Hey, how was the -uh
uh
654
00:35:19,418 --> 00:35:20,248
Almodovar film?
655
00:35:20,286 --> 00:35:21,586
I forgot to ask you.
656
00:35:21,620 --> 00:35:26,860
You forgot to ask me?
657
00:35:26,892 --> 00:35:29,302
I feel uncomfortable that it's
in the sex books.
658
00:35:29,328 --> 00:35:31,598
What?
659
00:35:31,630 --> 00:35:32,460
It was good.
660
00:35:32,498 --> 00:35:33,528
A lot better than I thought.
661
00:35:33,565 --> 00:35:34,265
Yeah?
662
00:35:34,300 --> 00:35:35,570
He's lying.
663
00:35:35,601 --> 00:35:36,741
Who?
664
00:35:36,768 --> 00:35:38,368
Patrick Wilson?
665
00:35:38,404 --> 00:35:39,914
No. C. Thomas Howell.
666
00:35:39,938 --> 00:35:41,908
What?
667
00:35:41,940 --> 00:35:44,580
Oh, you mean the neighbor that
looks like him?
668
00:35:44,610 --> 00:35:45,910
He's lying.
669
00:35:45,944 --> 00:35:47,684
He didn't go to the movie.
670
00:35:47,713 --> 00:35:49,383
How do you even know what
fuckin' movie
671
00:35:49,415 --> 00:35:50,675
They're talking about?
672
00:35:50,716 --> 00:35:53,216
Uh... I was there.
673
00:35:53,252 --> 00:35:54,852
What'd you do? Comb the theater?
674
00:35:54,886 --> 00:35:56,586
Get a part time job as an usher?
675
00:35:56,622 --> 00:35:58,292
Okay. One.
676
00:35:58,324 --> 00:35:59,894
A subtitled movie on Wednesday
night
677
00:35:59,925 --> 00:36:02,355
In Nashville doesn't exactly
draw a crowd.
678
00:36:02,394 --> 00:36:04,304
Okay, that's fair.
679
00:36:04,330 --> 00:36:07,930
Two. I went to purposely bump
into him.
680
00:36:08,834 --> 00:36:10,644
What?
681
00:36:10,669 --> 00:36:12,839
He's fucking lying.
682
00:36:12,871 --> 00:36:14,371
Okay, he's lying.
683
00:36:14,406 --> 00:36:17,976
But do you realize that this
says way more about you
684
00:36:19,678 --> 00:36:21,608
Than it does about him?
685
00:36:39,731 --> 00:36:41,831
Hi. Hi. I'm sorry, I know it's
really late...
686
00:36:41,867 --> 00:36:43,737
I just... I need to ask you
something.
687
00:36:43,769 --> 00:36:46,239
I'm all ears, angel.
688
00:36:46,272 --> 00:36:48,012
Hypothetically,
689
00:36:48,039 --> 00:36:50,409
Let's say you've got this character
in this screenplay you're writing.
690
00:36:50,442 --> 00:36:52,442
He looks like C. Thomas Howell.
691
00:36:52,478 --> 00:36:54,708
He's in what appears to be an
otherwise,
692
00:36:54,746 --> 00:36:57,376
Functioning, garden variety
domestic partnership.
693
00:36:57,416 --> 00:37:00,016
Uh. He's He's...
694
00:37:00,051 --> 00:37:03,321
Maybe he's got some sort of
Madame Bovary complex.
695
00:37:03,355 --> 00:37:06,425
He started doing things that
are a little out of character.
696
00:37:06,458 --> 00:37:09,828
He's going out alone and lying
about where he's been.
697
00:37:09,861 --> 00:37:13,331
So... where's he been?
698
00:37:13,365 --> 00:37:15,795
Hypothetically?
699
00:37:15,834 --> 00:37:20,014
This is a little arduous for
2AM my time.
700
00:37:20,038 --> 00:37:23,478
Remember that couple that used
to live on either side of you?
701
00:37:23,509 --> 00:37:27,009
Yeah. Isabelle and the
charlatan...
702
00:37:27,045 --> 00:37:28,945
I forget his name.
703
00:37:28,980 --> 00:37:31,020
Okay well you didn't know them,
per Se,
704
00:37:31,049 --> 00:37:33,749
But you knew from certain
context clues that, you know,
705
00:37:33,785 --> 00:37:36,315
They were in a pretty rocky
relationship.
706
00:37:36,355 --> 00:37:38,955
Hearing them scream, and
slamming doors,
707
00:37:38,990 --> 00:37:40,890
And going back and forth
between apartments
708
00:37:40,926 --> 00:37:44,656
Is all really anyone would need
to figure out the situation.
709
00:37:46,465 --> 00:37:48,495
Even someone in typhlotic
shock.
710
00:37:48,534 --> 00:37:51,074
Okay, well, what if uhh what if
they hadn't been so operatic.
711
00:37:52,738 --> 00:37:56,538
What if uh maybe you'd heard
more intimate moments
712
00:37:57,543 --> 00:37:58,513
Between the two of them?
713
00:37:58,544 --> 00:38:02,514
Okay. Spit it out.
714
00:38:02,548 --> 00:38:06,648
Okay. My upstairs neighbor,
who, yes, I'll admit,
715
00:38:06,685 --> 00:38:08,885
I've had a crush on since the
day I moved in.
716
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,490
But, even if I wasn't so
socially awkward
717
00:38:11,523 --> 00:38:12,923
And could speak to him, nothing
would come of it because,
718
00:38:12,958 --> 00:38:15,658
He he isn't single and what
would I want with him anyway?
719
00:38:15,694 --> 00:38:18,434
I believe in fidelity.
720
00:38:18,464 --> 00:38:19,734
And his boyfriend's some guy in
a suit and I'm nothing,
721
00:38:19,765 --> 00:38:20,965
But anyway -
722
00:38:23,869 --> 00:38:25,339
I think he's hiding something.
723
00:38:32,811 --> 00:38:33,851
Damn. They are...
724
00:38:33,879 --> 00:38:37,049
Yeah-So.
725
00:38:37,082 --> 00:38:40,852
What's the deal? Do you think
he's like cheating or what?
726
00:38:43,722 --> 00:38:45,862
I don't know. I guess I'll
never know
727
00:38:45,891 --> 00:38:47,731
Unless they talk about it.
728
00:38:47,759 --> 00:38:50,359
Well, if they do, you're bound
to hear it.
729
00:38:50,396 --> 00:38:51,526
Cause I can hear everything.
730
00:38:53,499 --> 00:38:55,799
Oh. Man.
731
00:38:55,834 --> 00:38:56,644
I didn't mean to sleep that
long.
732
00:38:56,668 --> 00:38:58,768
What're you doing?
733
00:38:58,804 --> 00:39:00,844
Well, I should probably go.
734
00:39:00,872 --> 00:39:02,412
See my friend in Building Four.
735
00:39:02,441 --> 00:39:03,781
You can stay.
736
00:39:03,809 --> 00:39:05,479
No, you can stay, it's late.
737
00:39:05,511 --> 00:39:06,851
I appreciate that and normally
I'd take you up on that,
738
00:39:06,878 --> 00:39:09,418
all my work clothes
are over there.
739
00:39:09,448 --> 00:39:10,548
Oh, okay, gotcha.
740
00:39:10,582 --> 00:39:12,522
And two,
741
00:39:12,551 --> 00:39:15,521
He has texted me like ten times,
742
00:39:15,554 --> 00:39:17,624
Cause I did promise him a
piece, so...
743
00:39:17,656 --> 00:39:19,856
Oh he's that kinda friend?
744
00:39:19,891 --> 00:39:22,131
He's that kinda friend.
745
00:39:27,933 --> 00:39:28,833
That's out of control.
746
00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:29,997
How do you sleep at night?
747
00:39:32,604 --> 00:39:34,014
I've gotten used to it.
748
00:39:34,039 --> 00:39:35,709
You better invest in some ear
plugs.
749
00:39:35,741 --> 00:39:36,981
Stat.
750
00:39:37,008 --> 00:39:38,408
Oh my God, do you wanna see
beard guy?
751
00:39:38,444 --> 00:39:39,414
Yes! Yes!
752
00:39:39,445 --> 00:39:43,415
Okay.
753
00:39:57,463 --> 00:39:57,803
What'd you say this guy's name
was?
754
00:39:57,829 --> 00:39:59,129
Aldo.
755
00:39:59,164 --> 00:40:00,534
Aldo?
756
00:40:00,566 --> 00:40:04,496
Hmmm...
757
00:40:10,008 --> 00:40:13,448
Thank you for your
photos.
758
00:40:13,479 --> 00:40:17,119
Your beard is looking great,
man.
759
00:40:21,152 --> 00:40:23,622
This can't be for real.
760
00:40:23,655 --> 00:40:27,225
I was wondering - when
did you start shaving?
761
00:40:57,288 --> 00:40:59,828
Thanks for breakfast.
762
00:40:59,858 --> 00:41:03,058
You're welcome.
763
00:41:03,094 --> 00:41:04,934
Sure you don't want any?
764
00:41:04,963 --> 00:41:07,833
I don't really eat breakfast.
765
00:41:07,866 --> 00:41:11,736
At least at breakfast time.
766
00:41:14,706 --> 00:41:17,736
I've been meaning to ask you
something.
767
00:41:17,776 --> 00:41:19,136
I've never really done anything
like this before,
768
00:41:19,177 --> 00:41:23,047
So, bear with me. Uh.
769
00:41:24,282 --> 00:41:28,192
Joe?
770
00:41:31,957 --> 00:41:32,957
I think I know what you're
gonna ask.
771
00:41:33,725 --> 00:41:35,555
You do?
772
00:41:35,594 --> 00:41:39,534
And... I'd prefer it if you
didn't.
773
00:41:39,565 --> 00:41:40,925
No, no, I was gonna ask if you
wanted to
774
00:41:40,966 --> 00:41:42,926
Go to the movie sometime.
775
00:41:42,968 --> 00:41:46,098
Joe, I just asked you not to
ask me.
776
00:41:46,137 --> 00:41:47,637
So you don't want me to ask you
to go to the movies?
777
00:41:47,673 --> 00:41:49,073
You don't like movies?
778
00:41:49,107 --> 00:41:50,777
Clearly I like the movies
779
00:41:50,809 --> 00:41:53,209
And I'd like to go sometime if
there's something playing
780
00:41:53,244 --> 00:41:57,184
That we both wanna see, I just.
781
00:41:57,215 --> 00:42:00,745
I don't want you thinking that
it can be anything more than that.
782
00:42:00,786 --> 00:42:04,316
More than what?
783
00:42:05,924 --> 00:42:09,764
More than just going to the
movies.
784
00:42:10,996 --> 00:42:14,866
Why'd you cook me breakfast?
785
00:42:17,035 --> 00:42:20,835
Why'd you invite me for coffee
that night?
786
00:42:22,674 --> 00:42:26,344
Because, Joe, I like you.
787
00:42:28,113 --> 00:42:29,213
I like you, too. I'm really
comfortable around you.
788
00:42:29,247 --> 00:42:33,117
I like spending time with you.
789
00:42:42,794 --> 00:42:45,104
Is this, um, cause of what I do?
790
00:42:45,130 --> 00:42:47,270
Because I'm just a maintenance
man?
791
00:42:47,298 --> 00:42:50,068
Come on, Joe.
792
00:42:50,101 --> 00:42:52,341
You know I don't think of you
like that.
793
00:42:52,370 --> 00:42:56,110
Look at me... you know, I'm single
for the first time in my life.
794
00:42:57,709 --> 00:42:59,849
I'm unemployed.
795
00:42:59,878 --> 00:43:03,618
I'm a mess. I need to figure
things out.
796
00:43:03,649 --> 00:43:07,349
So figure it out.
797
00:43:26,337 --> 00:43:28,067
Listen, I got to get back.
798
00:43:28,106 --> 00:43:32,006
Okay.
799
00:43:47,425 --> 00:43:51,295
I forgot my keys.
800
00:44:15,453 --> 00:44:19,363
Hey. I was wondering.
801
00:44:22,493 --> 00:44:26,263
You have any baseball caps or
anything?
802
00:44:26,297 --> 00:44:29,197
I would love to see you in a
baseball cap.
803
00:44:29,234 --> 00:44:33,174
With the beard.
804
00:44:34,940 --> 00:44:36,310
Hey, honey, it's me.
805
00:44:36,341 --> 00:44:37,981
Call me back when you get this.
806
00:44:38,009 --> 00:44:39,179
I've got some news! I'm going
for a swim,
807
00:44:39,210 --> 00:44:40,950
So if I don't answer, I'll call
you back.
808
00:46:31,556 --> 00:46:33,016
Hello?
809
00:46:33,058 --> 00:46:36,958
Leigh. I'm in their apartment.
810
00:46:52,143 --> 00:46:53,883
Get out of there, go.
811
00:46:53,912 --> 00:46:55,352
If this were one of your movies,
812
00:46:55,380 --> 00:46:58,880
Where would I look for a clue
or something?
813
00:46:58,917 --> 00:47:02,847
Uh, we'll talk more from your
apartment.
814
00:47:07,125 --> 00:47:10,995
Hello?
815
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:23,170
Hello?
816
00:47:23,208 --> 00:47:24,608
Hi.
817
00:47:24,642 --> 00:47:27,912
Hey, baby, how are you doing?
818
00:47:27,946 --> 00:47:29,376
Did you get my message?
819
00:47:29,414 --> 00:47:31,584
What message?
820
00:47:31,616 --> 00:47:34,516
I got a callback for the
sausage commercial.
821
00:47:34,552 --> 00:47:35,922
That's great.
822
00:47:35,954 --> 00:47:37,324
Who took this picture?
823
00:47:37,355 --> 00:47:38,555
What picture?
824
00:47:38,589 --> 00:47:41,329
The one you sent me.
825
00:47:41,359 --> 00:47:44,129
Um, I don't know, really, I
don't remember.
826
00:47:44,162 --> 00:47:46,162
You don't remember?
827
00:47:46,197 --> 00:47:46,997
So how long have you been in
the habit
828
00:47:47,032 --> 00:47:48,632
Of posing nude for cell phone
cameras?
829
00:47:48,666 --> 00:47:49,936
It's an old picture.
830
00:47:49,968 --> 00:47:51,298
It's like two years old.
831
00:47:51,336 --> 00:47:53,266
So?
832
00:47:53,304 --> 00:47:54,374
Now you remember when it was
taken.
833
00:47:54,405 --> 00:47:55,335
Do you remember where?
834
00:47:55,373 --> 00:47:57,083
What do you want me to do,
835
00:47:57,108 --> 00:47:59,138
Lie to you and tell you I used
a self timer?
836
00:47:59,177 --> 00:48:03,047
My ex boyfriend took it.
837
00:48:04,215 --> 00:48:05,375
Hello?
838
00:48:05,416 --> 00:48:07,916
Hi.
839
00:48:07,953 --> 00:48:09,193
Are you all right?
840
00:48:09,220 --> 00:48:11,220
No.
841
00:48:11,256 --> 00:48:12,416
Why haven't I ever seen this
before?
842
00:48:12,457 --> 00:48:15,027
Honey, why is it such a big
deal?
843
00:48:15,060 --> 00:48:16,290
You're always asking for photos
at work.
844
00:48:16,327 --> 00:48:18,397
I thought you'd like it.
845
00:48:18,429 --> 00:48:19,699
You thought I'd like looking at
a memory of you
846
00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:21,370
With your ex?
847
00:48:21,399 --> 00:48:24,539
I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
848
00:48:24,569 --> 00:48:26,069
I mean. That phone call proves
everything.
849
00:48:26,104 --> 00:48:27,944
Even his boyfriend's
suspicious.
850
00:48:27,973 --> 00:48:30,243
Suspicious codependents aren't
that hard to come by,
851
00:48:30,275 --> 00:48:31,705
Especially if they're gay.
852
00:48:31,742 --> 00:48:33,042
And all the phone call proves
853
00:48:33,078 --> 00:48:35,248
Is that you were hiding under
their bed.
854
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:37,550
Darren, you leave a life of
luxury,
855
00:48:37,582 --> 00:48:38,982
To live in a paper thin cave,
856
00:48:39,017 --> 00:48:41,117
And break into strangers' homes?
857
00:48:41,152 --> 00:48:43,392
Have you completely lost your
mind?
858
00:48:43,421 --> 00:48:45,721
I should've gone through the
hamper and checked his pockets.
859
00:48:45,756 --> 00:48:47,386
Who cares about his pockets.
860
00:48:47,425 --> 00:48:48,655
You need to think about your
own pockets
861
00:48:48,693 --> 00:48:51,133
And how you're gonna line them
from now on.
862
00:48:51,162 --> 00:48:53,662
Christ, the least you could've
done was rob them.
863
00:48:53,698 --> 00:48:54,628
I need to call Leigh back
864
00:48:54,665 --> 00:48:55,695
Leigh?
865
00:48:55,733 --> 00:48:57,703
Is he encouraging this behavior?
866
00:48:57,735 --> 00:49:00,135
Of course he is, he's probably
writing a movie about it.
867
00:49:00,171 --> 00:49:01,541
Hey. Um.
868
00:49:01,572 --> 00:49:02,472
No, I got out.
869
00:49:02,507 --> 00:49:04,037
Um. The boyfriend?
870
00:49:04,075 --> 00:49:05,275
Very suspicious.
871
00:49:05,310 --> 00:49:07,250
He's really mistrustful.
872
00:49:07,278 --> 00:49:08,178
I heard them talking -
873
00:49:08,213 --> 00:49:10,553
I'm just. I'm gonna go.
874
00:49:10,581 --> 00:49:11,651
Hey, hold on a sec.
875
00:49:11,682 --> 00:49:12,522
No, no no no no.
876
00:49:12,550 --> 00:49:13,750
No.
877
00:49:13,784 --> 00:49:15,554
Could you stay?
878
00:49:15,586 --> 00:49:17,416
I was hoping you'd shave my
back for me?
879
00:49:17,455 --> 00:49:20,425
It's grown out to the point
where I can't go to the pool.
880
00:49:20,458 --> 00:49:24,198
I'm gonna go, but I'm glad to
see you've learned how to burgle.
881
00:49:37,342 --> 00:49:38,412
Hello?
882
00:49:38,443 --> 00:49:40,313
Hey, listen.
883
00:49:40,345 --> 00:49:44,045
The object of your distrust is
down here at the gym.
884
00:49:44,082 --> 00:49:46,382
And I just heard him on the
phone with someone,
885
00:49:46,417 --> 00:49:50,217
Saying that he's gonna meet
them downtown in half an hour.
886
00:49:50,255 --> 00:49:52,085
Hold on.
887
00:49:52,123 --> 00:49:55,693
I've got another call.
888
00:49:55,726 --> 00:49:57,156
Hello?
889
00:49:57,195 --> 00:49:59,155
You not busy Thursday night,
are you?
890
00:49:59,197 --> 00:50:00,197
There's someone you have to
meet.
891
00:50:00,231 --> 00:50:01,671
Oh yeah? Who?
892
00:50:01,699 --> 00:50:03,299
His name's Walt DePore,
893
00:50:03,334 --> 00:50:04,704
He owns a very successful
business,
894
00:50:04,735 --> 00:50:06,595
He's adorable,
895
00:50:06,637 --> 00:50:08,707
And I'm sure it would be his
honor to shave your back
896
00:50:08,739 --> 00:50:10,509
For as long as you both shall
live!
897
00:50:10,541 --> 00:50:11,581
What're we having?
898
00:50:11,609 --> 00:50:13,179
I don't know, pasta or
something.
899
00:50:13,211 --> 00:50:16,311
Bring an appetite.
900
00:50:16,347 --> 00:50:19,347
I'll meet you in five minutes.
901
00:50:45,310 --> 00:50:47,650
Um. You have an aluminum bat in
your car?
902
00:50:47,678 --> 00:50:48,508
Yeah!
903
00:50:48,546 --> 00:50:50,546
Why?
904
00:50:50,581 --> 00:50:53,281
Well, I don't trust myself to
own a firearm.
905
00:50:55,386 --> 00:50:56,446
And so I feel like, if shit
went down,
906
00:50:56,487 --> 00:50:58,387
Anyone can bust out a gun,
907
00:50:58,423 --> 00:51:01,763
But if I come at them with
this, and just start screaming?
908
00:51:01,792 --> 00:51:05,732
Yeah.
909
00:51:15,806 --> 00:51:18,606
So. This dumb girl I work with
who I hate
910
00:51:20,211 --> 00:51:23,511
Invited me to this shrimp party.
911
00:51:23,548 --> 00:51:24,718
What the fuck is a shrimp
party?
912
00:51:24,749 --> 00:51:27,489
I have no idea, but she said
that
913
00:51:27,518 --> 00:51:31,318
I have to bring my own chair,
side item,
914
00:51:31,356 --> 00:51:32,756
And booze.
915
00:51:32,790 --> 00:51:34,590
Mm-mm.
916
00:51:34,625 --> 00:51:35,785
Yeah! What incentive is that?
917
00:51:35,826 --> 00:51:37,296
For people who have to drive
twenty minutes
918
00:51:37,328 --> 00:51:39,758
Across town when I can go to
fuckin' Red Lobster
919
00:51:39,797 --> 00:51:42,367
Down the street, where shrimp
is bottomless,
920
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:44,340
And I don't have to put up with
people
921
00:51:44,369 --> 00:51:47,209
That I fucking hate that I have
to deal with all the time anyway?
922
00:51:47,238 --> 00:51:48,708
And you get those cheddar
biscuit things.
923
00:51:48,739 --> 00:51:50,139
Those are good.
924
00:51:50,175 --> 00:51:51,305
Where is she getting the shrimp?
925
00:51:51,342 --> 00:51:52,312
Is she catching it?
926
00:51:52,343 --> 00:51:53,843
I don't know.
927
00:51:53,878 --> 00:51:55,278
Maybe she's married to a
fisherman.
928
00:51:55,313 --> 00:51:57,553
I try not to ask her too much
about herself,
929
00:51:57,582 --> 00:52:00,452
Cause that gives her the
impression that I care.
930
00:52:00,485 --> 00:52:04,385
I think going to a party she's
having and bringing a chair,
931
00:52:04,422 --> 00:52:08,332
Side item, and alcohol gives
her the impression that you care.
932
00:52:08,359 --> 00:52:11,329
I didn't say I was going.
933
00:52:11,362 --> 00:52:13,602
I just said she invited me.
934
00:52:13,631 --> 00:52:17,601
Kay.
935
00:52:20,805 --> 00:52:21,665
So how's your friend?
936
00:52:21,706 --> 00:52:25,436
What friend?
937
00:52:25,476 --> 00:52:28,676
Your friend in building four.
938
00:52:28,713 --> 00:52:30,853
He's fine I guess.
939
00:52:30,881 --> 00:52:33,921
I mean he was fine the last
time I saw him.
940
00:52:33,951 --> 00:52:36,491
Has it always been casual?
941
00:52:36,521 --> 00:52:38,861
Define casual.
942
00:52:38,889 --> 00:52:40,459
Has it always been about sex
943
00:52:40,491 --> 00:52:42,631
Or have you guys ever dated?
944
00:52:42,660 --> 00:52:45,700
Eh. I mean it's pretty much
always been about sex.
945
00:52:45,730 --> 00:52:47,870
We never dated, if you mean
like,
946
00:52:47,898 --> 00:52:49,398
Take me to dinner and a movie.
947
00:52:49,434 --> 00:52:50,504
No, that's never happened.
948
00:52:50,535 --> 00:52:52,895
Then what do you guys do?
949
00:52:52,937 --> 00:52:53,867
You just go over there?
950
00:52:53,904 --> 00:52:57,384
And - I mean - what?
951
00:52:57,408 --> 00:52:59,878
You go to the gym, and go over
there and screw?
952
00:52:59,910 --> 00:53:00,910
Do you spend the night?
953
00:53:00,945 --> 00:53:04,875
Yeah. Usually.
954
00:53:06,817 --> 00:53:08,517
Okay. I mean that's not all we
do.
955
00:53:08,553 --> 00:53:09,653
So it's a nocturnal
relationship?
956
00:53:09,687 --> 00:53:11,287
If that's how you choose to
define it.
957
00:53:11,322 --> 00:53:12,362
We were friends before.
958
00:53:12,390 --> 00:53:13,690
How long?
959
00:53:13,724 --> 00:53:15,694
About five years.
960
00:53:15,726 --> 00:53:17,926
So, you were legitimately
friends?
961
00:53:17,962 --> 00:53:18,832
Yeah!
962
00:53:18,863 --> 00:53:22,373
When did sex come into it?
963
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:24,000
I don't know. It was kinda
weird.
964
00:53:24,034 --> 00:53:27,414
He just... asked me to come
over one night
965
00:53:27,438 --> 00:53:29,738
And it just kinda happened.
966
00:53:29,774 --> 00:53:33,614
I mean it's nice and enjoyable
and...
967
00:53:35,446 --> 00:53:36,806
He doesn't mind seeing me naked,
968
00:53:36,847 --> 00:53:40,687
So, I guess, you know, that's a
plus.
969
00:53:42,019 --> 00:53:43,649
Have you always been attracted
to him?
970
00:53:43,688 --> 00:53:45,618
Yeah.
971
00:53:45,656 --> 00:53:47,356
We've always really gotten
along.
972
00:53:47,392 --> 00:53:48,032
Do you ever have sex during the
day?
973
00:53:48,058 --> 00:53:50,258
Yeah that's happened some.
974
00:53:50,295 --> 00:53:52,855
You guys both get a day off at
the same time.
975
00:53:52,897 --> 00:53:55,497
I don't know, we don't have a
schedule.
976
00:53:55,533 --> 00:53:58,503
It's not like on each one of our
refrigerators there's a schedule.
977
00:54:10,448 --> 00:54:14,048
Look. I'm about to cut my
fuckin' arm off.
978
00:54:14,084 --> 00:54:15,754
Why?
979
00:54:15,786 --> 00:54:19,056
My fuckin' elbow it's just been
so dry.
980
00:54:19,089 --> 00:54:23,429
And it's just the left one, and
I try everything.
981
00:54:23,461 --> 00:54:25,831
I try lotion, cream. Nothin'
works.
982
00:54:25,863 --> 00:54:28,403
Um.
983
00:54:28,433 --> 00:54:30,033
Oh my God.
984
00:54:30,067 --> 00:54:30,597
Our elbows were separated at
birth.
985
00:54:30,635 --> 00:54:31,935
No, for real. I've got-
986
00:54:31,969 --> 00:54:33,769
What do you use?
987
00:54:33,804 --> 00:54:35,744
Because I've got this cocoa
butter.
988
00:54:35,773 --> 00:54:37,713
I just told you that nothin'
else works.
989
00:54:37,742 --> 00:54:39,412
I've got this cocoa butter cream
that every other part of my body?
990
00:54:39,444 --> 00:54:41,354
Fine.
991
00:54:41,379 --> 00:54:43,409
I've used a loofah and
washcloth in the shower...
992
00:54:43,448 --> 00:54:45,318
I've scrubbed it to the point
where it's bled.
993
00:54:45,350 --> 00:54:48,720
Nothing. It's just forever
ashy.
994
00:54:48,753 --> 00:54:50,823
I know exactly what you mean,
it sucks.
995
00:54:50,855 --> 00:54:52,815
I'm telling you it's an
epidemic.
996
00:54:52,857 --> 00:54:54,017
They need to do a special on it.
997
00:54:54,992 --> 00:54:57,802
Dry elbows.
998
00:54:57,828 --> 00:54:59,698
And how they're ruining
America.
999
00:54:59,730 --> 00:55:02,470
Um.
1000
00:55:02,500 --> 00:55:06,470
What?
1001
00:55:13,478 --> 00:55:14,648
All right.
1002
00:55:14,679 --> 00:55:18,519
So he's probably having an
affair.
1003
00:55:24,555 --> 00:55:26,585
That guy looks like Taylor
Lautner.
1004
00:55:26,624 --> 00:55:29,364
Who?
1005
00:55:29,394 --> 00:55:30,934
You know there are other ways
of getting the truth
1006
00:55:30,961 --> 00:55:33,631
Without having to stalk a
person.
1007
00:55:33,664 --> 00:55:35,374
What do you mean?
1008
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:37,640
Well, generally when you're
more familiar with someone,
1009
00:55:37,668 --> 00:55:41,608
The easier it is to get them to
reveal shit.
1010
00:55:41,639 --> 00:55:43,769
How am I supposed to do that?
1011
00:55:43,808 --> 00:55:46,778
He's your neighbor, D, just
borrow some sugar.
1012
00:55:46,811 --> 00:55:48,611
Start a conversation.
1013
00:55:48,646 --> 00:55:49,376
You're joking.
1014
00:55:49,414 --> 00:55:51,784
What would I say?
1015
00:55:51,816 --> 00:55:55,546
All right, you said something
about him needing new headshots.
1016
00:55:57,187 --> 00:56:00,017
So I'm going to make you some
business cards.
1017
00:56:00,057 --> 00:56:02,427
Just drop one in his mailbox,
1018
00:56:02,460 --> 00:56:03,690
He'll give you a call,
1019
00:56:03,728 --> 00:56:05,128
You will have his number,
1020
00:56:05,162 --> 00:56:08,632
And before you know it he'll be
in your apartment
1021
00:56:08,666 --> 00:56:10,966
Ready to pose.
1022
00:56:11,001 --> 00:56:12,001
Since he doesn't have to drive
home,
1023
00:56:12,036 --> 00:56:16,036
It'd be kind of impolite not to
stay for a drink.
1024
00:56:17,575 --> 00:56:18,575
I wasn't thinking.
1025
00:56:18,609 --> 00:56:20,139
I overreacted, I'm sorry.
1026
00:56:20,177 --> 00:56:23,777
No, honey, it was completely
inappropriate.
1027
00:56:23,814 --> 00:56:24,954
I wasn't thinking.
1028
00:56:24,982 --> 00:56:26,022
I'm sorry.
1029
00:56:26,050 --> 00:56:27,550
I overreacted.
1030
00:56:43,568 --> 00:56:47,468
Is this why you haven't been
going to the pool lately?
1031
00:56:47,505 --> 00:56:50,935
Maybe.
1032
00:56:50,975 --> 00:56:53,435
Well, let's do it.
1033
00:56:53,478 --> 00:56:57,178
Just let me pee first.
1034
00:57:14,031 --> 00:57:16,771
Joe, shut up.
1035
00:57:16,801 --> 00:57:19,071
It used to be a lot worse,
1036
00:57:19,103 --> 00:57:22,913
But my ex had a colleague try
the laser removal.
1037
00:57:24,575 --> 00:57:27,035
Oh, it didn't work?
1038
00:57:27,077 --> 00:57:31,047
No, not entirely, no, but you
know
1039
00:57:31,081 --> 00:57:32,851
I'd like to have the rest
removed one day
1040
00:57:32,883 --> 00:57:34,523
When I can afford to.
1041
00:57:34,552 --> 00:57:37,052
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
1042
00:57:37,087 --> 00:57:39,657
Yeah, well, it's lookin' pretty
broke to me.
1043
00:57:39,690 --> 00:57:41,890
It's the way you're made, kid.
1044
00:57:41,926 --> 00:57:43,826
Yeah, well, women were made
with hair under their arms,
1045
00:57:43,861 --> 00:57:45,931
On their legs, and sometimes
their upper lips,
1046
00:57:45,963 --> 00:57:49,703
You don't see them walking
around town looking like beasts.
1047
00:57:52,202 --> 00:57:53,902
I've been trying to think of
some money making schemes lately.
1048
00:57:53,938 --> 00:57:56,138
Not for laser removal?
1049
00:57:56,173 --> 00:57:58,183
No. Other than being
broke and having bills
1050
00:57:58,208 --> 00:58:02,108
I can't pay, I don't know, maybe
1051
00:58:02,146 --> 00:58:04,276
I want to start taking some
classes in the fall,
1052
00:58:04,314 --> 00:58:06,924
But I'm thinking my credit
needs some improvement
1053
00:58:06,951 --> 00:58:08,851
Before that can happen.
1054
00:58:08,886 --> 00:58:10,046
Are you coasting on credit?
1055
00:58:10,087 --> 00:58:15,057
I'm living on credit.
1056
00:58:16,994 --> 00:58:17,964
What do you know about eBay?
1057
00:58:17,995 --> 00:58:19,825
What about it?
1058
00:58:19,864 --> 00:58:20,934
People can actually sell stuff
on there and it works?
1059
00:58:20,965 --> 00:58:22,995
Yeah. People do it all the
time.
1060
00:58:23,033 --> 00:58:25,643
What do you want to sell?
1061
00:58:25,670 --> 00:58:28,540
Um. I don't know,
1062
00:58:28,573 --> 00:58:32,143
I mean, I've got a shit ton of
movies
1063
00:58:32,176 --> 00:58:35,946
And a lot of records that I'm
guessing are pretty rare.
1064
00:58:37,715 --> 00:58:40,245
Yeah, I think people would eat
those up.
1065
00:58:40,284 --> 00:58:42,754
You ever used eBay?
1066
00:58:42,787 --> 00:58:46,787
Uh, once.
1067
00:58:46,824 --> 00:58:50,604
There was this gorgeous upright
from 1880, pale green,
1068
00:58:52,262 --> 00:58:55,072
And in God awful disrepair, but
I didn't care,
1069
00:58:56,934 --> 00:58:59,744
I wanted it for the looks. It
was $10.80.
1070
00:58:59,770 --> 00:59:02,340
Sure, $10.80 is great for a
piano, but it wasn't until
1071
00:59:02,372 --> 00:59:04,142
After I'd won the goddamn thing
1072
00:59:04,174 --> 00:59:06,714
That I realized it was halfway
across the country
1073
00:59:06,744 --> 00:59:10,584
And shipping would be a
nightmare.
1074
00:59:10,615 --> 00:59:14,075
Um, so, I wrote them a check
for $11,
1075
00:59:14,118 --> 00:59:16,618
Apologized profusely for the
inconvenience,
1076
00:59:16,654 --> 00:59:20,264
But by that time they had left
me horrible feedback
1077
00:59:22,326 --> 00:59:23,726
And eBay had suspended my
account.
1078
00:59:23,761 --> 00:59:24,801
I'll get your records listed.
1079
00:59:24,829 --> 00:59:26,029
If you don't mind.
1080
00:59:26,063 --> 00:59:29,903
I don't mind, actually.
1081
00:59:29,934 --> 00:59:33,774
By the way, why'd you take that
key?
1082
00:59:39,243 --> 00:59:40,243
You knew?
1083
00:59:40,277 --> 00:59:42,007
Of course I knew.
1084
00:59:42,046 --> 00:59:44,306
Five keys and one goes missing?
1085
00:59:46,050 --> 00:59:49,920
Uh. Why didn't you say
anything?
1086
00:59:51,288 --> 00:59:53,958
Darren, I gave you pot.
1087
00:59:53,991 --> 00:59:55,691
A great deal of pot, actually.
1088
00:59:55,726 --> 00:59:59,326
I can't exactly report you for
taking a key.
1089
01:00:10,307 --> 01:00:13,837
But, you know, I am awfully
curious.
1090
01:00:13,878 --> 01:00:15,778
Do you wanna tell me why you
took it?
1091
01:00:15,813 --> 01:00:19,723
No.
1092
01:00:43,340 --> 01:00:45,910
Who is this person?
1093
01:00:45,943 --> 01:00:46,913
You told me to bring an
appetite.
1094
01:00:46,944 --> 01:00:48,714
Cute.
1095
01:00:48,746 --> 01:00:49,976
You're always trying to fix me
up with someone
1096
01:00:50,014 --> 01:00:51,924
Just because he has money.
1097
01:00:51,949 --> 01:00:53,979
That is not the only reason I'm
trying to fix you up with Walt!
1098
01:00:54,018 --> 01:00:54,888
It's not?
1099
01:00:54,919 --> 01:00:58,759
No! Walt is... lovely.
1100
01:00:58,789 --> 01:01:00,989
Uh huh.
1101
01:01:01,025 --> 01:01:03,785
Well, let's see if he can get
along with my friend.
1102
01:01:06,163 --> 01:01:10,133
So, uh, when did you get all
that?
1103
01:01:10,167 --> 01:01:11,967
Oh it's taken years.
1104
01:01:12,002 --> 01:01:12,842
Really?
1105
01:01:12,870 --> 01:01:13,770
Uh huh.
1106
01:01:13,804 --> 01:01:15,414
It's cute, I really like it.
1107
01:01:15,439 --> 01:01:17,979
Yeah. It's quite an investment.
1108
01:01:18,008 --> 01:01:20,978
Yeah, there's still some more
that I wanna add to it.
1109
01:01:21,011 --> 01:01:21,711
Oh yeah?
1110
01:01:21,746 --> 01:01:23,276
Uh huh.
1111
01:01:23,313 --> 01:01:25,153
Like what were you thinking
about adding?
1112
01:01:25,182 --> 01:01:28,122
I was thinking about adding
maybe E.T. in drag.
1113
01:01:29,119 --> 01:01:30,419
In drag?
1114
01:01:30,454 --> 01:01:32,994
Not like Priscilla, Queen of
the Desert drag,
1115
01:01:33,023 --> 01:01:34,833
But like how E.T. was in the
movie,
1116
01:01:34,859 --> 01:01:36,929
With the blonde wig and pearl
necklace.
1117
01:01:36,961 --> 01:01:38,061
Oh, yeah!
1118
01:01:38,095 --> 01:01:42,165
Yeah.
1119
01:01:42,199 --> 01:01:44,129
I love that she has a Freddy
Krueger hand.
1120
01:01:44,168 --> 01:01:47,968
Like she's killing people in
their dreams.
1121
01:01:54,144 --> 01:01:56,414
So. How long have you known
Greg?
1122
01:01:56,446 --> 01:01:59,246
A long time.
1123
01:01:59,283 --> 01:02:00,793
Those shoes would look
fantastic on you.
1124
01:02:00,818 --> 01:02:02,288
They do.
1125
01:02:02,319 --> 01:02:04,119
You should borrow them.
1126
01:02:04,154 --> 01:02:05,764
I don't know what occasion
you'd wear them for.
1127
01:02:05,790 --> 01:02:07,360
For work? Where would I not
wear them?
1128
01:02:07,391 --> 01:02:08,361
I thought that you did weddings?
1129
01:02:08,392 --> 01:02:09,362
I thought that was your deal?
1130
01:02:09,393 --> 01:02:11,163
I do a lot of weddings.
1131
01:02:11,195 --> 01:02:12,525
Like, how many do you do?
1132
01:02:12,562 --> 01:02:13,762
How many have you done this
year?
1133
01:02:13,798 --> 01:02:15,828
Twenty eight, so far.
1134
01:02:15,866 --> 01:02:16,366
But after -
1135
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:17,970
A lot!
1136
01:02:18,002 --> 01:02:19,842
But after the next one,
1137
01:02:19,870 --> 01:02:23,010
I have two months off to reclaim
my position as a celebutante!
1138
01:02:23,040 --> 01:02:24,940
What the fuck is that?
1139
01:02:24,975 --> 01:02:29,275
So how'd you meet Greg?
1140
01:02:29,313 --> 01:02:33,153
Oh, we met at some get together
a while ago.
1141
01:02:34,985 --> 01:02:37,145
Some business professionals
thing?
1142
01:02:37,187 --> 01:02:38,787
Yeah.
1143
01:02:38,823 --> 01:02:40,393
Something like that.
1144
01:02:40,424 --> 01:02:42,134
Yeah he's incredible.
1145
01:02:42,159 --> 01:02:44,799
You know, he's - he paints, too.
1146
01:02:44,829 --> 01:02:45,999
Yeah?
1147
01:02:46,030 --> 01:02:47,230
Full of surprises.
1148
01:02:47,264 --> 01:02:48,974
Look at this little guy.
1149
01:02:48,999 --> 01:02:52,369
Yeah. He's really imaginative.
1150
01:02:52,402 --> 01:02:55,512
Yeah, look, she's like a pie
secretary.
1151
01:02:55,539 --> 01:02:58,239
She's on the phone telling her
boss's lies.
1152
01:02:58,275 --> 01:02:59,475
Her boss the pie.
1153
01:02:59,509 --> 01:03:01,309
That fucker!
1154
01:03:01,345 --> 01:03:03,005
And then, run and get the
coffee while a smile
1155
01:03:03,047 --> 01:03:05,247
Hides the rage in your eyes.
1156
01:03:05,282 --> 01:03:06,122
Yeah.
1157
01:03:06,150 --> 01:03:06,850
I know, it's -
1158
01:03:06,884 --> 01:03:08,124
She's pissed.
1159
01:03:08,152 --> 01:03:10,052
Well, her boss.
1160
01:03:10,087 --> 01:03:11,517
And then this one is my
favorite one
1161
01:03:11,555 --> 01:03:13,255
Because it's "tonight she's
searching for a reason"
1162
01:03:13,290 --> 01:03:15,490
As she's walking home alone in
the rain. "
1163
01:03:15,525 --> 01:03:16,985
And I really like that she's so
sad
1164
01:03:17,027 --> 01:03:19,257
And when a pie cries... it's so
sad.
1165
01:03:19,296 --> 01:03:21,066
Yeah.
1166
01:03:21,098 --> 01:03:21,828
Anytime a pie cries it hurts me
in the feelings.
1167
01:03:21,866 --> 01:03:23,496
Mm-hmm.
1168
01:03:23,533 --> 01:03:27,443
Do you like to fish?
1169
01:03:28,438 --> 01:03:30,468
Are you a fisherman, Walt?
1170
01:03:30,507 --> 01:03:34,307
Yes. I'm an avid
offshore fisherman.
1171
01:03:36,280 --> 01:03:38,380
I don't know, I've never really
fished
1172
01:03:38,415 --> 01:03:41,285
Except for maybe once when I
was five.
1173
01:03:41,318 --> 01:03:45,118
We could take my boat out this
weekend maybe.
1174
01:03:47,257 --> 01:03:49,027
Who's calling you?!
1175
01:03:49,059 --> 01:03:52,359
It's this asshole Christian TV
personality.
1176
01:03:52,396 --> 01:03:54,156
I thought you were supposed to
call them.
1177
01:03:54,198 --> 01:03:57,328
Well this one will not
leave me alone.
1178
01:03:57,367 --> 01:03:59,497
What he's want? To save your
soul?
1179
01:03:59,536 --> 01:04:01,436
No. I don't know.
1180
01:04:01,471 --> 01:04:04,641
But I keep telling him that I'm
not into fucking fishes and loaves.
1181
01:04:04,674 --> 01:04:06,614
I'm into cake and sodomy, thank
you!
1182
01:04:06,643 --> 01:04:08,083
Right, and he doesn't get it,
huh?
1183
01:04:08,112 --> 01:04:08,952
No!
1184
01:04:08,979 --> 01:04:10,949
That's fucking gross.
1185
01:04:10,981 --> 01:04:12,251
He's gonna end up married with
like three kids.
1186
01:04:12,282 --> 01:04:13,952
It's so sad.
1187
01:04:13,984 --> 01:04:16,554
That is sad.
1188
01:04:16,586 --> 01:04:19,386
I mean. I don't know why I can't
just meet like a nice retarded guy
1189
01:04:19,423 --> 01:04:21,563
Like Giovanni Ribisi in "The
Other Sister. "
1190
01:04:21,591 --> 01:04:23,261
Oh yes he's so cute.
1191
01:04:23,293 --> 01:04:25,433
He is. I mean, I would date him.
1192
01:04:25,462 --> 01:04:26,562
That's not weird, at all.
1193
01:04:26,596 --> 01:04:28,996
No, no, no, no.
1194
01:04:29,033 --> 01:04:33,073
I would totally... I would date
Rain Man.
1195
01:04:33,103 --> 01:04:35,143
Have you ever been to Sicily?
1196
01:04:35,172 --> 01:04:37,672
No, I have not.
1197
01:04:37,707 --> 01:04:41,147
I just got back. Visited the
Palatine Chapel.
1198
01:04:41,178 --> 01:04:42,278
Mmm.
1199
01:04:42,312 --> 01:04:44,312
Yeah. A Jesus thing.
1200
01:04:44,348 --> 01:04:46,018
We can't go to Vegas, because
they're too smart,
1201
01:04:46,050 --> 01:04:48,490
But I think Atlantic City might
work.
1202
01:04:48,518 --> 01:04:50,248
You take him and he'll count
the cards,
1203
01:04:50,287 --> 01:04:52,417
Or if you drop a box of
toothpicks, you just ask him,
1204
01:04:52,456 --> 01:04:53,286
"How many is that?"
1205
01:04:53,323 --> 01:04:55,463
How many are those?!
1206
01:04:55,492 --> 01:04:56,392
"Four hundred
and twenty five!"
1207
01:04:56,426 --> 01:04:57,656
He just knows it.
1208
01:04:57,694 --> 01:04:59,664
He just knows.
1209
01:04:59,696 --> 01:05:01,426
Listen, though, I think the charm
would eventually just wear off,
1210
01:05:01,465 --> 01:05:03,265
Cause look, I can't even cut up
my own god damn food,
1211
01:05:03,300 --> 01:05:04,700
Let alone my date's.
1212
01:05:04,734 --> 01:05:05,674
Who needs to cut food?
1213
01:05:05,702 --> 01:05:08,312
Just order it already cut.
1214
01:05:08,338 --> 01:05:10,438
You can't order a steak already
cut.
1215
01:05:10,474 --> 01:05:12,314
It's called chopped steak.
1216
01:05:12,342 --> 01:05:14,442
I don't like that shit.
1217
01:05:14,478 --> 01:05:18,248
We spent a breezy afternoon
right there at Porticello.
1218
01:05:19,749 --> 01:05:23,549
Just, just looking outside at
the gulf.
1219
01:05:24,321 --> 01:05:26,191
Right there.
1220
01:05:26,223 --> 01:05:28,333
Financial stability is very
important.
1221
01:05:28,358 --> 01:05:30,288
Not as important as not
throwing up
1222
01:05:30,327 --> 01:05:33,457
When someone takes their
clothes off.
1223
01:05:33,497 --> 01:05:35,027
Coffee.
1224
01:05:35,065 --> 01:05:36,725
Coffee?! So soon?!
1225
01:05:36,766 --> 01:05:40,136
Don't tell me the night's
almost over.
1226
01:05:46,210 --> 01:05:47,240
Hi.
1227
01:05:47,277 --> 01:05:48,047
Look at you.
1228
01:05:48,078 --> 01:05:48,678
You off today?
1229
01:05:48,712 --> 01:05:50,312
I am off today.
1230
01:05:50,347 --> 01:05:51,117
Guess what?
1231
01:05:51,148 --> 01:05:52,618
What?
1232
01:05:52,649 --> 01:05:53,349
Your records sold.
1233
01:05:53,383 --> 01:05:54,083
What?
1234
01:05:54,118 --> 01:05:55,018
Yeah.
1235
01:05:55,052 --> 01:05:56,052
Which ones?
1236
01:05:56,086 --> 01:05:57,616
All of 'em.
1237
01:05:57,654 --> 01:05:59,764
What?
1238
01:05:59,789 --> 01:06:01,329
Yeah. So, we need to get them
packaged up
1239
01:06:01,358 --> 01:06:02,458
And I'll teach you how to use
your PayPal account.
1240
01:06:02,492 --> 01:06:05,332
Oh. Well, I already have one of
those.
1241
01:06:05,362 --> 01:06:07,232
Oh, okay. Well, first, I
thought we'd take a drive
1242
01:06:07,264 --> 01:06:11,174
And listen to this.
1243
01:06:12,736 --> 01:06:14,066
What the hell is that?
1244
01:06:14,104 --> 01:06:17,114
It's an iPod. It's yours.
1245
01:06:17,141 --> 01:06:19,341
Why'd you do this?
1246
01:06:19,376 --> 01:06:22,176
Well, I figured you'd need some
music to listen to.
1247
01:06:23,147 --> 01:06:25,217
What'd you put on it?
1248
01:06:25,249 --> 01:06:27,519
Your records.
1249
01:07:19,436 --> 01:07:21,106
Hello?
1250
01:07:21,138 --> 01:07:24,838
Hello? Darren?
1251
01:07:24,874 --> 01:07:26,814
This is he.
1252
01:07:26,843 --> 01:07:29,613
Hi, Darren, I found one of your
cards in the mail.
1253
01:07:29,646 --> 01:07:31,576
I'd like to see about
scheduling a shoot.
1254
01:07:31,615 --> 01:07:33,515
Nothing elaborate, just a few
headshots.
1255
01:07:33,550 --> 01:07:37,420
Uhh... can I have your name?
1256
01:07:39,389 --> 01:07:42,629
Um, okay,
he's going to be here tomorrow.
1257
01:07:42,659 --> 01:07:44,659
Well, after you're finished,
1258
01:07:44,694 --> 01:07:46,404
Be sure to ask him to stay for
a drink.
1259
01:07:46,430 --> 01:07:48,230
Then what?
1260
01:07:48,265 --> 01:07:49,195
Then call me back.
1261
01:07:49,233 --> 01:07:50,203
Let me know what happens.
1262
01:07:50,234 --> 01:07:51,574
This'll make a great movie.
1263
01:08:06,583 --> 01:08:07,583
I hate this movie.
1264
01:08:07,617 --> 01:08:09,387
What?
1265
01:08:09,419 --> 01:08:12,259
My Boyfriend's Hotter Than
Yours.
1266
01:08:31,275 --> 01:08:32,835
Want a drink?
1267
01:08:32,876 --> 01:08:36,746
Nah, I'm okay, thanks though.
1268
01:08:38,615 --> 01:08:40,475
Nothing?
1269
01:08:40,517 --> 01:08:44,447
Yeah. I'm in AA.
1270
01:08:44,488 --> 01:08:47,188
Oh. Gotcha.
1271
01:08:47,224 --> 01:08:51,264
I used to think it was the only
way I could have fun.
1272
01:08:51,295 --> 01:08:53,225
But, hey, how do you think it
went?
1273
01:08:53,263 --> 01:08:54,803
How do you think the photos are
gonna turn out?
1274
01:08:54,831 --> 01:08:58,641
Great. I mean, you're, uh, very
photogenic.
1275
01:09:00,537 --> 01:09:03,667
Thanks. I appreciate it.
1276
01:09:03,707 --> 01:09:07,477
Seth Rogen? David Duchovny?
Rainn Wilson? Rob Zombie?...
1277
01:09:08,412 --> 01:09:10,282
And Alan Rickman?
1278
01:09:10,314 --> 01:09:12,424
Yeah. Dirty Mash.
1279
01:09:12,449 --> 01:09:15,789
Mash. Like, "mansion,
apartment, shack, house?"
1280
01:09:15,819 --> 01:09:18,359
Yeah.
1281
01:09:18,388 --> 01:09:19,658
My sister and her friends used
to play that
1282
01:09:19,689 --> 01:09:22,629
All the time when we were
little.
1283
01:09:22,659 --> 01:09:26,429
Lick, bite, fuck, suck?
1284
01:09:26,463 --> 01:09:29,773
I can see why it's dirty.
1285
01:09:29,799 --> 01:09:33,639
Wanna play?
1286
01:09:33,670 --> 01:09:35,610
George Clooney.
1287
01:09:35,639 --> 01:09:38,379
Mm-hmm.
1288
01:09:38,408 --> 01:09:42,308
Uh. Colin Farrell.
1289
01:09:48,852 --> 01:09:50,652
Taylor Lautner.
1290
01:09:54,524 --> 01:09:56,534
What?
1291
01:09:56,560 --> 01:09:57,290
I used to know someone
1292
01:09:57,327 --> 01:10:00,597
That looked like him.
1293
01:10:00,630 --> 01:10:02,230
Yeah?
1294
01:10:02,266 --> 01:10:05,796
Mm-hmm.
1295
01:10:05,835 --> 01:10:09,705
Who?
1296
01:10:23,553 --> 01:10:24,823
What?
1297
01:10:24,854 --> 01:10:28,594
He's fuckin' somebody else.
1298
01:10:28,625 --> 01:10:30,525
What?
1299
01:10:30,560 --> 01:10:33,400
He's over there with somebody
else.
1300
01:10:34,531 --> 01:10:38,401
I thought you were just friends.
1301
01:10:41,338 --> 01:10:41,908
Are you okay?
1302
01:10:41,938 --> 01:10:45,908
No!
1303
01:10:55,985 --> 01:10:57,915
So what'd you guys do?
1304
01:10:57,954 --> 01:11:00,364
How'd you get him to stay?
1305
01:11:00,390 --> 01:11:04,330
Uh. We played a game.
1306
01:11:04,361 --> 01:11:07,761
Played a game
1307
01:11:07,797 --> 01:11:10,497
What'd you find out?
1308
01:11:10,534 --> 01:11:12,344
Well, innocently enough,
1309
01:11:12,369 --> 01:11:16,009
He's been meeting up with an
old friend.
1310
01:11:22,111 --> 01:11:25,951
Someone he used to be in love
with.
1311
01:11:30,654 --> 01:11:34,464
Someone who ran out on him
without explanation
1312
01:11:37,527 --> 01:11:41,427
And left him to wonder why.
1313
01:11:49,373 --> 01:11:51,913
And over the summer, he called
me out of the blue.
1314
01:11:51,941 --> 01:11:53,781
Confessed his love for me.
1315
01:11:53,810 --> 01:11:55,980
Apologized for running away and
blamed it
1316
01:11:56,012 --> 01:11:58,422
On his abandonment issues.
1317
01:11:58,448 --> 01:12:01,118
You know, leave before you get
left.
1318
01:12:01,150 --> 01:12:04,990
And then he said we should try
again.
1319
01:12:06,823 --> 01:12:08,893
What'd he expect me to say?
1320
01:12:08,925 --> 01:12:11,725
"Let's go to New York! Let's
get married!"
1321
01:12:12,962 --> 01:12:14,102
He wouldn't back down,
1322
01:12:14,130 --> 01:12:15,900
So I've been taking him out to
coffee,
1323
01:12:15,932 --> 01:12:17,702
Get a small bite to eat,
1324
01:12:17,734 --> 01:12:20,444
Mainly because I feel bad for
him.
1325
01:12:20,470 --> 01:12:22,510
I just don't wanna be another
person
1326
01:12:22,539 --> 01:12:25,539
Who walks out on him in his
life, you know?
1327
01:12:25,575 --> 01:12:29,775
So it makes it really difficult
to try to explain -
1328
01:12:29,813 --> 01:12:33,723
Why you've been seeing Taylor
Lautner?
1329
01:12:35,852 --> 01:12:39,822
Yeah.
1330
01:12:52,836 --> 01:12:53,936
So you've been seeing
him?
1331
01:12:53,970 --> 01:12:54,840
It's not what you think.
1332
01:12:54,871 --> 01:12:56,111
I want you out - Honey.
1333
01:12:56,139 --> 01:12:58,639
I want you to pack up your shit
1334
01:12:58,675 --> 01:12:59,475
And I want you out of here.
It's not what you think!
1335
01:12:59,509 --> 01:13:00,739
It's not what I think?!
1336
01:13:00,777 --> 01:13:02,407
Babe, I pay your phone bill,
remember?
1337
01:13:02,446 --> 01:13:05,446
I see how often the two of you
fucking correspond.
1338
01:14:56,159 --> 01:14:58,559
I'm on a month to month lease,
1339
01:14:58,595 --> 01:15:01,195
And, I just, I want to be
closer to the record store
1340
01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:05,230
And to the college, you know?
1341
01:15:05,268 --> 01:15:07,138
I mean, I wouldn't move far,
just downtown,
1342
01:15:07,170 --> 01:15:09,140
I just, you know, if I sell my
car,
1343
01:15:09,172 --> 01:15:11,782
And maybe see about taking out
a loan,
1344
01:15:11,808 --> 01:15:15,578
I could start classes
relatively soon and...
1345
01:15:20,049 --> 01:15:24,019
Joe.
1346
01:15:28,324 --> 01:15:32,164
You've helped me get back on my
feet.
1347
01:15:34,197 --> 01:15:38,027
I just need to start doing
things for myself.
1348
01:15:40,036 --> 01:15:43,866
Otherwise, I may never know
how.
1349
01:16:09,833 --> 01:16:11,333
Oh, Luce, thank you.
1350
01:16:11,367 --> 01:16:12,767
Dude, don't even mention it.
1351
01:16:12,802 --> 01:16:14,872
It was like ten dollars on
Amazon.
1352
01:16:14,904 --> 01:16:15,744
What?!
1353
01:16:15,772 --> 01:16:19,742
Yeah.
1354
01:16:21,010 --> 01:16:22,080
Why is he biting her?
1355
01:16:23,279 --> 01:16:24,609
I don't know.
1356
01:16:24,648 --> 01:16:26,318
I guess, cause, at first, she
was like
1357
01:16:26,349 --> 01:16:30,189
"I don't think I want this at
all. "
1358
01:16:32,922 --> 01:16:34,662
BOOM!
1359
01:16:34,691 --> 01:16:36,261
I know. It's like,
1360
01:16:36,292 --> 01:16:37,892
If you're trying to be
discreet, you're gonna fail.
1361
01:16:37,927 --> 01:16:40,397
Her husband could walk in at
anytime.
1362
01:16:40,429 --> 01:16:41,829
He's about to!
1363
01:16:41,865 --> 01:16:44,925
I know, but they don't care.
1364
01:16:44,968 --> 01:16:46,968
And what are they on, like a
stove?
1365
01:16:47,003 --> 01:16:49,843
Um, yeah. Like, it looks like
one of those stoves
1366
01:16:49,873 --> 01:16:51,843
They make hash browns on at a
Waffle House.
1367
01:16:51,875 --> 01:16:53,335
It's a diner!
1368
01:16:53,376 --> 01:16:57,346
That does not attract me at all.
1369
01:16:57,380 --> 01:16:59,080
Who put?
1370
01:16:59,115 --> 01:17:00,845
There he is - he looks familiar.
1371
01:17:00,884 --> 01:17:04,154
He is the gay gym teacher in
Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2.
1372
01:17:04,187 --> 01:17:05,087
Oh, my God.
1373
01:17:05,121 --> 01:17:07,091
Yeah!
1374
01:17:07,123 --> 01:17:09,893
The one that picks up when like
Freddie's taking over
1375
01:17:11,394 --> 01:17:14,704
In the leather bar and takes
him back to the school.
1376
01:17:14,731 --> 01:17:16,201
Uh huh. God, that movie is so
gay.
1377
01:17:16,232 --> 01:17:19,942
He gets tied up. Like, whipped,
with a jump rope.
1378
01:17:19,969 --> 01:17:23,209
Mm-hmm.
1379
01:17:23,239 --> 01:17:27,039
I don't understand how he did
not hear or sense or smell
1380
01:17:28,878 --> 01:17:29,308
What was going on in there.
1381
01:17:29,345 --> 01:17:31,945
Smell?!
1382
01:17:31,981 --> 01:17:32,881
Yeah!
1383
01:17:32,916 --> 01:17:34,776
And he's holding a gun.
1384
01:17:34,818 --> 01:17:36,188
I know! Why did he have the
gun, anyway?
1385
01:17:36,219 --> 01:17:37,119
I can't remember.
1386
01:17:37,153 --> 01:17:39,023
Was he like a hunter?
1387
01:17:39,055 --> 01:17:40,915
Does he wish he was Charlton
Heston?
1388
01:17:40,957 --> 01:17:44,857
Doesn't everybody?
1389
01:17:46,362 --> 01:17:47,002
Why is he wiping off his mouth?
1390
01:17:47,030 --> 01:17:48,730
Uh.
1391
01:17:48,765 --> 01:17:49,965
Well, he does have a
mustache.
1392
01:17:49,999 --> 01:17:53,369
Juice.
1393
01:17:53,402 --> 01:17:55,942
Yeah but Charlton Heston when?
1394
01:17:55,972 --> 01:17:59,282
Like in that movie. "Moses" or
whatever.
1395
01:17:59,308 --> 01:18:01,378
Moses?
1396
01:18:01,410 --> 01:18:02,980
Whatever movie he it is that
was awesome.
1397
01:18:03,012 --> 01:18:03,852
The Ten Commandments?
1398
01:18:03,880 --> 01:18:07,080
Yeah.
1399
01:18:07,116 --> 01:18:09,386
His life was pretty shitty from
day one.
1400
01:18:09,418 --> 01:18:13,258
He was put in a basket. Like,
abandoned.
1401
01:18:15,191 --> 01:18:18,831
He lived to be really old, I
think.
1402
01:18:18,862 --> 01:18:20,962
He was doomed.
1403
01:18:20,997 --> 01:18:23,497
We're all doomed.
1404
01:18:23,532 --> 01:18:27,342
I mean most events in the Bible
aren't very fun.
1405
01:18:29,338 --> 01:18:31,878
Someone's getting tortured,
hurt, upset.
1406
01:18:31,908 --> 01:18:33,808
I know. It's really kinda
bloody.
1407
01:18:33,843 --> 01:18:35,013
Shitty things happen a lot.
1408
01:18:35,044 --> 01:18:36,354
Gay cities get destroyed.
1409
01:18:36,379 --> 01:18:39,349
Right.
1410
01:18:39,382 --> 01:18:40,522
Women having babies,
1411
01:18:40,549 --> 01:18:42,419
And they didn't even get to do
it first.
1412
01:18:42,451 --> 01:18:46,061
What's the incentive of that?
1413
01:18:46,089 --> 01:18:47,959
You didn't get to -
1414
01:18:47,991 --> 01:18:50,791
Mary originated I "Didn't Know
I was Pregnant. "
1415
01:18:52,929 --> 01:18:54,259
I would probably want to be
around
1416
01:18:54,297 --> 01:18:56,397
When all that money changing
thing happened.
1417
01:18:56,432 --> 01:18:59,202
When Jesus gets pissed.
1418
01:18:59,235 --> 01:19:00,995
Whenever he catches the money
changers.
1419
01:19:01,037 --> 01:19:03,067
You know what I'm talking about.
1420
01:19:03,106 --> 01:19:03,936
Remember that story?
1421
01:19:03,973 --> 01:19:05,013
I never actually read it.
1422
01:19:37,206 --> 01:19:38,906
Hey, is that all that's left?
1423
01:19:38,942 --> 01:19:40,812
Yep.
1424
01:19:40,844 --> 01:19:43,814
What time's that guy coming by
for your couch?
1425
01:19:43,847 --> 01:19:47,247
I don't know. He said five, so
I guess anytime now.
1426
01:19:47,283 --> 01:19:49,993
If he's not here by 5:30, it's
mine.
1427
01:19:50,019 --> 01:19:51,549
I said I'd get those.
1428
01:19:51,587 --> 01:19:55,487
Then you shoulda gotten it.
1429
01:21:04,427 --> 01:21:08,257
All right, kiddo, you're all
set.
1430
01:21:26,182 --> 01:21:29,022
Is there something we need to
talk about?
1431
01:21:31,587 --> 01:21:35,487
No?
92391
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