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Subtitles by explosiveskull
Marlon Butterpaws,
we have contacted our informant on Planet Skibbles.
No trace of the Master Bone.
Drat, my trusty Tinkaroo.
Another planet and still no Master Bone.
We must find that bone at once.
What's so special about a bone anyway, Marlon Butterpaws?
The Master Bone is a bone of legend.
A bone of an ancient and rare dinosaur.
A bone so incredible
it can bestow upon those who obtain it
the ability to rule the entire universe.
But the top secret agents of Star Paws
are also looking for the bone.
What if they find it before we do?
Never, I will take care of those pesky agents.
They will not stop me.
We will find the bone first.
Once you possess the bone,
you'll be the most powerful kitty in the cosmos,
Marlon Butterpaws.
As it should be.
I will ride from universe to universe, galaxy to galaxy,
dimension to dimension, completely unstoppable,
wreaking kitty havoc everywhere we go!
That's downright evil, Marlon Butterpaws.
I will plunder every planet and take all their treats.
Sardines, kibble, tuna!
Everything fishy will be mine!
A million megalons into the future,
in a galaxy inside a nebula to the right of a black hole,
a secret elite group stands alone
to protect the universe from evil.
This elite group is known simply as Star Paws.
Cadet Tony Skyfetcher.
Cadet Billy June Spaceslobber.
Ready for pooper-scooper assignment, Officer Rufflebuns.
Dog speed.
Greeting, Captain Fuzzface.
Always a displeasure to see your ugly mug.
Marlon Butterpaws.
In the furball, Captain Fuzzface.
It's me, your arch-nemesis.
I've heard you are training your best agents
to get to the Master Bone.
You better believe it, Marlon Butterpaws.
Well, too bad about that, ugly mug.
I've got a secret.
What have you done now, Marlon Butterpaws?
I've dognapped all your best agents.
Now you have nobody to go after the Master Bone.
And I will get to it first!
You must release them at once.
Why, so they can find the Master Bone before me?
No way.
The Master Bone will be mine, and mine alone.
And with it I will rule the universe!
See you later, bad breath.
I need two agents, now.
Or the universe is kitty toast.
Whoa, Billy June, I never knew space-poop scooping
could be so much fun.
I think that's cuz
there ain't much much poop in space, Tony.
That's certainly a plus, Billy June.
I think you mean a minus, Tony.
You know, cuz there's no poop, that's a negative number.
Either way Billy June,
I think just being in space is amazing.
Yep, I reckon it is.
Whoa, look at that nebula!
That's pretty nice.
Cadets Skyfetcher, Spaceslobber.
Hey, Agent Big Boy.
What's the 329, Agent Big Boy?
You mean what's the 411, Spaceslobber.
No, I mean 329,
given we're 25 degrees east of space and time,
in the third quadrant of Fluffbutt Nebula.
Which means we're 2,000 light-years
from the Star Paws space station.
And out here, 411 is 329.
Yeah.
No, it's still 411.
Now if I make...
What's the 329, Agent Big Boy?
Report to Captain Fuzzface immediately.
Whoa, did you hear that Billy June?
Captain Fuzzface wants to see us.
Slobbery space bones!
You think it's about our Secret Service training test, Tony?
What else could it be?
Skyfetcher, Spaceslobber.
Yes sir.
Sir, yes sir.
I have the results of your Star Paws agent training tests.
Oh boy, oh boy, this is gonna be awesome.
How did we do, Captain Fuzzface?
Skyfetcher, Spaceslobber.
You have failed all your tests.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Both of you failed your IQ test.
Yeah, that was a tough one, Captain.
You failed your flea-and-tick test.
Yeah, been itching up a storm lately.
Those flea collars, they don't work too good.
You failed your fetch test.
We didn't realize they wanted us to fetch the paper.
So we went for the trainer's butt.
A lot more to grab onto, anyway.
You failed your rollover test.
Yeah, we rolled under instead.
You definitely failed your play dead test.
Shucks.
In fact, you two turned out to be
the worst canine recruits we've ever had.
Whoa.
Incredible.
We did achieve something.
Despite the fact that you two
are utter canine recruit failures,
I welcome you to...
The secret elite Star Paws team?
Alas, yes, we need two new Star Paws agents, stat,
and you're the only two available.
Wow, we're gonna be part of the Star Paws team?
You are sworn to protect the universe from evil.
Whoa, I hate evil so much.
Me too.
You must learn basic Star Paws skills
to complete your assigned mission.
I can't wait.
Me too.
Head to the elite Star Paws command center
to receive instructions.
Oh, my space bacon strips.
Our first mission, I just can't wait.
This is gonna be so cool.
We're gonna complete our first mission
in flying frisbees, Captain Fuzzface.
I hope so, for the sake of all the universe.
Greetings, recruits Skyfetcher and Spaceslobber,
and congratulations.
Thank you.
Mighty space kibbles!
I can't wait to receive instructions for our mission.
How's your sense of smell,
recruits Skyfetcher and Spaceslobber?
We aced that test, Agent Theodore.
Yeah, we found that t-bone steak in 15 seconds flat.
Although our assignment was to seek out
an explosive meteorite.
Yeah, but the t-bone smelled way more deliciousnessness.
Oh boy, this is gonna be harder than I thought.
What's our mission, Agent Theodore?
Your mission is to seek, uncover, and retrieve a bone.
If you can ever find it, that is.
A bone?
Did you say bone?
Do tell, Agent Theodore.
Is this a t-bone we're gonna be looking for?
No, not a t-bone, you're to seek, find, and retrieve
a very special bone, the Master Bone.
Whoa, the Master Bone?
Yeah, we're always up for bones.
Sounds like an awesome first mission.
Awesome yes, but extremely dangerous too.
Galactic treats, we love danger.
Not as much as we love treats.
We're ready for instructions, Agent Theodore.
You will undergo Star Paws canine development training
and learn all you need to know to succeed in your mission.
Star Paws canine development training?
Yes, you two are not quite ready for the mission,
but you're the only two agents we have.
Total space hydrant.
Where is everybody?
They were dognapped by the evil Marlon Butterpaws,
our most demented arch-nemesis.
Oh, right.
Well, thankfully, you have us.
More like unfortunately, we have you.
You're gonna need much more training
before you're ready for your mission.
Bones of Neptune, did you hear that Billy June?
We're like the best agent duo in this place.
Alas it is true, you're the only agent duo in this place.
Now without much ado, you'll be appointed
to our best secret elite Star Paws agents.
Cool kibbles, sweet space treats.
You'll receive lessons on how to become a Star Paws agent.
You will learn to sniff, spot, and retrieve like the best.
We'll be great retrievers.
Yeah.
Just remember, you're training to retrieve
the assigned mission object, not random t-bone steaks.
Oh yeah!
We're on it.
You will not be assigned to the Master Bone mission
until you finish your training.
Is that clear?
Super clear, Agent Theodore.
Consider it done.
Good.
Now, I will assign you your instructors.
And if you thought your mission
was extremely dangerous before,
wait until you meet them.
Whoa.
Star Paws recruits, prepare to meet your instructors.
Whoa, Dr. Flatface McAdoo,
the wildest daredevil in the universe.
The most amazing canine pilot in the galaxy.
And who are you two kibble bags?
I'm Star Paws recruit Tony Skyfetcher.
And I'm Star Paws recruit Billy June Spaceslobber.
I trust you two are here on pooper-scooper duty?
Oh no, Dr. Flatface McAdoo.
We're here to prepare
for our very first Star Paws mission.
We're here for flight training.
We need to be better pilots.
Faster.
In your dreams.
I don't train cadets.
Whoa, Dr. Flatface McAdoo.
This is the coolest day my life.
And mine.
- It's like... - A big bone.
Sprinkled with kibbles.
Covered in chocolate fudge!
Instead, it's Dr. Flatface McAdoo.
In the pelt.
Wolftastic meatballs.
This is gonna be awesome.
You two mutts think you have what it takes
to partner with the furrisome Dr. McAdoo?
- Yep! - Totally!
Very well, if you truly have what it takes,
you should be able to answer
the following question correctly.
If you do, who knows?
I might be impressed enough to train you.
Whoa, really?
What's the question, Dr. McAdoo?
How many t-bone steaks can you fit
in a photospheric spiral supernova?
Oh, that's easy.
Yeah, everybody knows how many t-bone steaks
you can fit in a photospheric spiral supernova.
Ha ha ha.
Well, amaze me with your acumen, recruits.
Totally, Dr. McAdoo.
The answer is: none.
What?
What do you mean, none?
Yeah, the metric surface
of a photospheric spiral supernova
is minus 90,000 megatrons.
Therefore you can't fit any t-bone steaks in it.
Because it's not really there.
Nope.
But you can unfit 700,000 t-bone steaks.
Yeah, or in other words, if 700,000 t-bone steaks
enter the photospheric spiral supernova
they become negatively charged.
And they're immediately transmuted to zero.
Leaving behind a stew-smelling stardust residue
with a half-space-life of 30 million trillion
mega zillion ions.
Which in dog years is about three minutes.
What about the t-bone steak, Tony?
No t-bone steaks.
Wait, if that's correct...
I must immediately call Operating Officer Trixie.
She's in charge of the photospheric spiral supernova
Star Paws station.
All her coordinates must be reprogrammed.
Marlon Butterpaws is at it again.
Marlon Butterpaws?
Whoa, who's Marlon Butterpaws?
He's our archiest of arch-nemesiseses.
Greetings my canine nemesis.
Here I am.
The evilest of evils,
the most powerful kitty in the universe,
Marlon Butterpaws.
Whoa, we have an arch-nemesis?
Cool bacon strips.
I'm making great progress on my ultimate evil plan.
You will never succeed, Marlon Butterpaws.
We are training two new great recruits
to beat you at your own game.
Who, those two fleabags?
Don't make me laugh.
Milk might start coming out of my nose.
I just had breakfast.
That's funny.
Milk always comes out of my nose.
Please don't waste your time, Captain Fuzzface.
No matter what you do, you cannot stop me.
We will.
No you won't.
Not with those two goofballs as your best Star Paws agents.
Ridiculous!
Now the universe is mine.
And you best get ready for it.
Whoa, he's not kidding around.
There is nothing you can do to stop me now.
The Master Bone will be mine!
I'm gonna take over the galaxy.
See ya later!
Whoa, what are we gonna do, Captain Fuzzface?
It's about what you two are going to do.
Us?
Unfortunately you two are our only hope.
Ah, right.
Sweet.
Report to Agent BLT at once.
He will explain your mission.
We haven't got much time.
Greetings, recruits.
Hey, Agent BLT.
Woof to see ya.
You must be briefed about our archiest of arch-nemesis,
Marlon Butterpaws.
Cool.
Do tell.
He's a bonkers feline,
hell-bent on taking over the universe
and destroying the Star Paws forever.
Uh, Agent BLT, why is Marlon Butterpaws so bonkers anyway?
His kind was created in a lab
by combining all the bonkers cat videos ever made
into a single living cat.
Whoa, he must be totally bonkers then.
Absolutely loony.
So loony in fact he's been known to ride cardboard boxes
down slopes and play patty cake at the same time.
Whoa, totally crazy.
Infinitely wacky.
Incredibly weird.
Danger to the universe.
A total loose cannon.
Whoa.
And now he's looking for the Master Bone.
What is the Master Bone, Agent BLT?
The Master Bone is an ancient bone of legend.
It is so powerful it can wipe out
all of the galaxy's existence.
Or create it.
Whoever wields the Master Bone
can make whatever they desire just happen.
Whoa, amazing chicken nuggets.
Unfortunately, all our best Star Paws agents
have been dognapped by Marlon Butterpaws.
You are the only two left
who can stand against that powerful and very evil cat.
Yeah, we'll get to the bone first.
Sure we will.
Even though you failed all your training tests
we hope and pray that deep down somewhere
you have the capacity to find the Master Bone
and deliver us from the evil claws of Marlon Butterpaws.
Yep.
The bone can only be found
by amazing sniffers and retrievers.
For the universe is vast, and the bone,
even if it's a gig-enormous dinosaur bone,
it's well, it's just a bone.
So you have to train hard and quick.
We will.
We don't have much time.
And Marlon Butterpaws is adamant
about getting his claws on that bone.
Report to Agent Bumblety at once.
He will train your noses to sniff out bones.
Sir, yes sir, Agent BLT.
So let's get started.
I will fill the chamber with different smells,
and you will tell me what you're smelling.
Ready?
Ready Freddy.
What do you smell, recruits?
Total farts.
A delicious roast.
Well, which one is it?
Yeah, maybe it's roast.
What do you say Billy June?
No, on second thought I'm gonna say totally farts.
Oh boy.
Well what was it, Agent BLT?
Yeah, what was that smell?
Bananas.
That was pretty close.
That wasn't close at all.
How in all the galaxies of the known universe
am I going to train you in time to beat Marlon Butterpaws?
Oh, don't worry Agent BLT,
we're confident we'll beat him to the bone.
Yeah, mountain-of-meatballs confident.
Goodie, I'm glad you're confident.
Nobody else around here is.
Well, actually, there is one canine in the whole universe
that believes in you.
Who is it, Agent BLT?
A foolish canine by the name of Zen Master Birdbutt.
Like the smell of bacon
wafts into the morning breeze,
so you have floated into my energy field,
Skyfetcher and Spaceslobber.
Zen Master Birdbutt,
the most incredible zen master in the galaxy.
Yes that's me.
I am indeed he whom you speak of.
I am Zen Master Birdbutt.
You he really believe in us,
Zen Master Birdbutt?
You believe we can accomplish this here mission
and get to the Master Bone before Marlon Butterpaws?
Yes I do.
You are the answer to saving the universe
from kitty domination.
So it was written on the bacon strips I had a for breakfast.
And on my houndoscope page.
Whoa.
I will help you along on your dangerous mission
by teaching you the ancient wisdoms of the yogi,
the art of the ninjas, the courage of the space samurai.
Cool.
Do we get to throw ninja stars?
Wushu whip chains?
No!
Bummer.
You are here to master your dog senses.
To become a true Star Paws agent.
You have a long way to go
before you will reach your full potential.
I will train you in the ways of the canine samurai.
I believe you will accomplish your mission
in flying colors.
You just need the zen master lotus touch.
What are you gonna teach us, Zen Master Birdbutt?
Front-paw kick?
Paw-heel strike?
Silly pups.
Those are unnecessary for accomplishing your mission.
Instead you two will need to sharpen
your bone-retrieving noses.
Oh yeah.
You will use your mind
to expand your olfactory receptor in your brain.
Oh, super cool.
You will also use your mind
to hopefully expand your actual mind.
Since your IQ tests have revealed
a lower-than-normal dog IQ.
Actually you have more like the IQ of a sea cucumber.
I love sea cucumbers.
I have met the recruits, Captain Fuzzface.
I believe in the power of Skyfetcher and Spaceslobber.
They are the chosen pups,
the ones who can fetch the Master Bone.
For all the meatballs in the galaxy, Zen Master Birdbutt,
I sure hope you're right.
You're playing with our lives.
The destiny of the entire galaxy
is in the hands of two pooper-scooper pups
who failed every single Star Paws training test.
They shall succeed.
They will retrieve the Master Bone
before Marlon Butterpaws does.
Are you absolutely, positively sure?
Sometimes the clouds form over the river
when it's still snowing.
What does that mean, Zen Master Birdbutt?
It means...
I have no idea.
Oh boy, I hope Officer Butterball
can do something with these two.
Time is of the essence.
I fear what would happen
if that feline gets his paws on the Master Bone.
Marlon Butterpaws, we have located the Master Bone.
Magnificent, my trusty Tinkaroo,
you are a bringer of excellent news.
Do tell, where is the Master Bone?
It's on a planet called Location of the Master Bone,
Alpha Centauri in the Bubble Galaxy,
and is reached by passing through the Fizzle Black Hole.
What, what did you say the planet is called?
It's called Location of the Master Bone,
Alpha Centauri, sir.
Wait, are you saying the Master Bone is on a planet
called Location of the Master Bone, Alpha Centauri?
Yes, Marlon Butterpaws.
Well why in the whole wide universe
we never thought of checking there for the Master Bone?
Oh, I did.
You did?
Wait, how long have you known about the existence
of Location of the Master Bone, Alpha Centauri?
Oh, about 7,000 trillion ions.
And you just decided to check it out now?
No Marlon Butterpaws,
I checked it out last week and found the bone.
But then I thought you wanted to have fun
looking for the bone all over the universe.
You know, being a cat and all.
What, what's that got to do with being a cat?
I always see cats on YouTube videos
just chasing the same laser light for hours,
even though they totally know they can't catch it.
I imagine you find that to be fun.
Well, that is fun,
but we are talking about universe domination here.
Of course, but a cat is a cat.
I mean, you did have fun scouring the universe
looking for the Master Bone, right?
Well yes, of course I did.
I'm just here to serve, Marlon Butterpaws.
Recruits Skyfetcher and Spaceslobber,
report to Officer Butterball.
Intergalactic steaks, Officer Butterball.
This is the most exciting day of my life.
And mine.
And my most underwhelming.
Who are you two mongrels supposed to be?
We're recruits Tony Skyfetcher
and Billy June Spaceslobber.
We're here to be trained to...
Oh yes, you are two runts who don't know the first thing
about being Star Paws agents.
Yeah!
Yeah, that's us.
My assignment is to train youse
to be great agents in 17 hours.
Whoa.
You shall think like a Star Paws agent.
You shall live like a Star Paws agent.
Sniff like a Star Paws agent.
Fetch like a Star Paws agent.
And most importantly behave like a Star Paws agent.
Is that clear?
Crystal, Officer Butterball.
Where do we begin?
We begin from lesson one of 10,002.
Dancing space daisies.
I'll get the popcorn.
Recruits Skyfetcher and Spaceslobber,
report to Agent Bumblety.
The plan here is to modify your cerebral cortex
to match that of an actual Star Paws agent.
We can do that?
We'll be turned into amazing Star Paws agents in no time,
Agent Bumblety?
Alas, not even my computers are that powerful.
Shucks.
But we'll do our best.
Now recruits, pay attention to your monitors.
You will observe on the computer screen a food item.
A bone.
- Lovely - Succulent.
Very good.
Now, what would you do if you found such a bone?
Eat it of course.
Devour it, obviously.
W-what?
What do you mean, devour it?
What else would you do with a bone if not gnaw on it good?
Yeah, really, what else is there to do with a bone?
No no no no.
You're supposed to retrieve the bone, not eat it.
Whoa.
If something is to be retrieved and not eaten,
why would it be in the shape of a bone?
Coincidence?
I don't think so.
There!
You're supposed to rewire your brain
to be able to find the bone
and return it to Star Paws headquarters.
It's the Master Bone.
A bone of incredible powers,
beyond any other!
It's not lunch.
But it's gigantic.
And incrediblicious.
For all the lasagna in the universe.
We got a lot more work to do
if we want to beat Marlon Butterpaws to the bone.
Recruits Skyfetcher and Spaceslobber,
report to Dr. McAdoo.
- Yes sir. - Sir.
We're back to get more training, Dr. McAdoo.
Did Operating Officer Trixie
reprogram the photospheric spiral supernova
Star Paws stations coordinates
according to our calculations, Dr. McAdoo?
She did, indeed.
Oh, sweet potato patties, how did that go?
The photospheric spiral supernova
Star Paws station blew up.
Oh, bummer.
Agent Trixie lost all her fur in the blast.
She's floating in space, completely bald.
Totally toast.
It will take us 70 ions to rescue her.
Oh, blasted tomatoes.
And I suppose now I have to train you two
to save the universe.
We're under attack!
Awesome.
This is the most fun I've had
since our New Year's Eve pooper-scooper party.
Wa-hoo!
Marlon Butterpaws is back.
He's pretty cool.
Yeah, totally.
May I remind you Marlon Butterpaws is our enemy, recruits?
Oh, right.
Well well well, I got news for you, Star Paws.
Looks like I finally discovered
the whereabouts of the Master Bone.
You have?
It's not possible,
we've had our best agents on it for years,
and they never could find anything.
That's because Star Paws agents
are dog-brained fools, of course.
I on the other hand have a cat brain,
therefore I am much much smarter.
You thought Marlon Butterpaws couldn't find the Master Bone?
It's a small universe when you're a smart kitty like me.
I'm going to take over the universe.
If I weren't retired...
Oh, I ought to...
Oh, for for all the raw deals in the universe,
this feline makes me lose my Zen cool.
Oh, stop whining Star Paws, it doesn't suit you.
What does suit you is being total losers.
Whoa.
Now if you fellows don't mind,
I'm off getting my rapacious little claws on the bone.
Sayonara, dumb critters.
We are in so much trouble.
Tinkaroo, I trust we are heading
straight for the location of the Master Bone,
Alpha Centauri planet?
Yes Marlon Butterpaws, but we will not get to the planet,
no matter how much we try.
For all the stuffed mice in the universe, why ever not?
Well, because the location of the Master Bone,
Alpha Centauri is not there.
What?
What are you talking about, Tinkaroo?
The planet is not where it should be.
My little kitty brain is about to explode, Tinkaroo.
You must explain this to me.
What do you mean the Location of the Master Bone,
Alpha Centauri planet is not there?
Simple, the Location of the Master Bone, Alpha Centauri
is an ancient planet that has come into existence
more than seven trillion ions ago.
And has since imploded, and the Master Bone with it.
What, you're telling me there was a Master Bone
and now there is no Master Bone?
Precisely.
There can be no bone since there is no longer a planet
named Location of the Master Bone, Alpha Centauri.
But you told me there was a Master Bone.
Yes, of course, as some point
in the history of the cosmos there was.
Now, poof, it's gone.
That's just great.
How in the whole wide Milky Way
am I gonna get my claws on the Master Bone
if the planet that contained the Master Bone
has been gone for seven trillion ions?
May I suggest a time machine?
Captain Fuzzface, we have finally located the Master Bone.
Great, let's do it before Marlon Butterpaws does.
We cannot, Captain Fuzzface.
Why ever not, Agent Theodore?
Unfortunately that planet is no longer in existence.
What?
Yes the bone was on a planet called
the Location of the Master Bone, Alpha Centauri.
It was an ancient planet that has come into existence
more than seven trillion ions ago and has since imploded.
And the Master Bone with it.
Then it will be impossible for Marlon Butterpaws
to get to it.
Never underestimate a space kitty
with universe domination on his mind.
I hear Marlon Butterpaws is building a time machine
to travel back seven trillion ions
and make it to the Location of the Master Bone,
Alpha Centauri.
Oh boy, we must get Skyfetcher and Spaceslobber
in a time machine as soon as possible.
We have Dr. Henbrain working on it right now.
He's going to retrofit your starship
to travel back in time.
You fetched us, Dr. Henbrain?
Yes, we must prepare you two to get to
the Location of the Master Bone, Alpha Centauri.
The Location of the Master Bone, Alpha Centauri?
Where's that?
Nowhere as of now.
But we're about to change all that.
We're sending you back seven trillion ions
to retrieve a bone that doesn't exist anymore.
Awesome.
Wait...
What?
We we are building a time pod
which you will fly across space and time,
all the way to the Location of the Master Bone,
Alpha Centauri, that's where you'll find the Master Bone.
Milk bones and Milky Way.
Oh that's amazing.
Yes, you will travel back in time,
and you will arrive to the Location of the Master Bone,
Alpha Centauri during that planet's Jurassic period.
You mean a time of space Tyrannosaurus, and...
Galactic Triceratops, and...
And Velociraptors, yes.
Wowza.
This is gonna be awesome.
That's where the Master Bone is.
I mean was, before the planet imploded
seven trillion ions ago.
Whoa, that's mine-bending Dr. Henbrain.
What Marlon Butterpaws doesn't know
is we can also build a time pod
and beat him to the punch.
I must figure out the Master Bone Alpha Centauri's
original coordinates then teleport you to the past,
where you'll sniff out, snatch, fetch,
and bring the bone back to us
before Marlon Butterpaws gets a chance to get it.
Whoa, sounds like a plan.
A meatball of a plan.
We're so ready.
In order to blast to the past
you must first make it to the Bubble Galaxy.
Once there you will pass through the Fizzle black hole.
The black hole will catapult you into the past,
where you'll find the location
of the Master Bone, Alpha Centauri.
All clear?
- Sparkling. - Darn tootin'.
Captain Fuzzface.
Admiral Squigglebuns.
I heard that Marlon Butterpaws is at it again.
Is that true?
Indeed he is.
Marlon Butterpaws is always up to something or other.
He is a cat after all.
Is it true he's trying to get his paws on the Master Bone?
Also Admiral Squigglebuns, it is true.
We cannot allow that pesky feline to get to the bone.
You hear me, Captain Fuzzface, we cannot allow it.
Yes sir, Admiral Squigglebuns.
Well what is Star Paws gonna do to prevent it?
What are we gonna do, I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
We will beat Marlon Butterpaws at his own game
and retrieve the bone before he does, that's what.
Or my name is not Captain Fuzzface IV.
How exactly do you intend to do that?
I hear he's preparing a time machine
to get to the bone first.
We will create a time machine first.
We will beat him to the bone.
And who exactly is going to go on such a risky mission?
I hear Marlon Butterpaws has pretty much dognapped
all your best agents, Captain Fuzzface.
We're in the process of training two great new agents
as we speak, Admiral Squigglebuns.
Just incredible agents, that they are.
Are we talking about Tony Skyfetcher
and Billy June Spaceslobber?
The pooper scoopers?
Yes, Admiral Squigglebuns, those are the ones.
Oh, dog help us all.
You cannot let that happen, we must use our secret weapon.
You mean?
Yes, that's exactly who I mean.
But he, he's a loose cannon.
He might be the only chance we got, Captain.
Skyfetcher, Spaceslobber.
Despite the trust Zen Master Birdbutt has placed in you two,
I have my reservations.
- Bummer. - Ultimate drag.
I just cannot entrust the entire fate of the galaxy
to two pooper-scooper recruits
who failed every Star Paws test ever created.
And, I might add, who were single-handedly responsible
for the destruction of the photospheric spiral supernova
Star Paws station.
I simply will not.
Soggy kibbles.
Well that just really peed on my dog parade.
Unfortunately I do not have anybody who can replace you,
given all our best active agents
have been dognapped by Marlon Butterpaws.
Clue me.
Therefore I have no option
but to send you two on the mission.
But I have decided to assign you a partner.
A partner?
Yes.
I wouldn't dream of getting him out of retirement
if the situation were not so critical
as to command extreme remedy.
He is a rough space warrior of great repute.
His name is Commander Eugenius Calzone Tuffnut X.
Wow, did you say...
Commander Eugenius Calzone Tuffnut X?
The best Star Paws agent that ever existed?
Ever?
The one.
Liver sticks, Commander Tuffnut fought every single battle
ever fought since the beginning of time.
And before there was time he fought outside time itself.
He was at the Battle of the Seven Planets
against the mighty space hippos.
He broke the space-time barrier with a single burp.
He is amazing.
Well well well.
Commander Tuffnut.
- Commander Tuffnut. - Commander Tuffnut.
So Captain Fuzzface, these are the pooper-scoopers
you've seen fit partnering me with
for the most important mission of my career.
I apologize, Commander Tuffnut, but...
Very well, I hear the galaxy is in peril
and action must be taken at once.
Beggars can't be choosers, they will do.
Whoa, Commander Tuffnut.
Whiskers and all.
That's right, I'm Commander Tuffnut.
And never forget it.
Are you ready to commence space-time blast-off?
- Ready. - Ready.
Now Skyfetcher, Spaceslobber, Commander Tuffnut,
upon blast-off you will travel at 10,000 light-years speed
towards Bubble Galaxy.
Once there you will pass through the Fizzle black hole.
The black hole will catapult you
seven trillion ions into the past,
where you will find the Location of the Master Bone,
Alpha Centauri.
Remember to keep your nose trained toward the Master Bone.
Your mission is to find, fetch, and retrieve it
before Marlon Butterpaws gets to it.
That get through?
Yes sir.
Yes sir.
Shut up you foolish Dr. Simpleton.
Don't you know who I am, I am Commander Tuffnut.
Don't tell me what to do.
I was born with an internal compass towards adventure.
Let's get this puppy in the sky
and let's kick some space butt.
Whoa.
Dog tootin'.
Alrighty then.
Whoa, Commander Tuffnut, how did you ever defeat
the invisible walrus army in the Battle of Longtooth?
I defeated them by doing what I'm about to do to you,
you puny little pooper-scooping bag of fleas
if you don't shut your muzzle.
Whoa, Commander Tuffnut, you're my hero.
You bet your silly little butt I'm a hero.
I was fighting wars before you were born.
Now, let's get this puppy speeding.
Uh, Commander Tuffnut, I think we're pushing
10,000 light-years per minute here.
This craft can't go any faster than that.
Don't be a ridiculous bag of treats.
I've gone faster riding a wheelchair
down one of Saturn's rings.
Let's push this baby to the max.
What was that sound, y'all reckon?
Did we hit space marbles?
We are probably breaking the speed of ultrasonic light.
Yeah, now we are talking.
- Uh-oh. - Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Well well well, looks as if we hit a snag.
Yeah, the time machine is stalled.
We're stuck in space.
Nothing a good jump won't fix.
I eat stalled time machines for breakfast.
Yo, Sonny, what's happening my friend?
Yo Tuffnut, what solar winds blow you around these parts?
Eh, you know how it is, Sonny, it's the wind of adventure,
that's what it is.
Blows this way and that, and...
I thought you was retired.
I was, I tried to leave the life of peril and adventure,
but these good-for-nothing imbeciles
can't get nothing done without me.
I hear you Tuffnut.
Say, what can I do for you?
I need a jump.
A jump, where you at?
Hey, you two dingle brains, where are we at?
According to our calculations...
We're in the middle of nowhere.
About to crash into the pits of fire of Planet Lavatron.
Right, uh, Sonny, you heard him.
We're in the middle of nowhere,
about to crash into the pits of fire of Planet Lavatron.
So, you gonna give a good friend a jump or what?
Middle of nowhere, you say?
Yeah I know that place of the galaxy like the back of my paw
but that's gonna cost you.
Subatomic liquid nitrogen fuel
doesn't come cheap these days.
Uh, Commander Tuffnut?
Just get me to Planet Lavatron in one piece will you?
I'll get this baby back in tip-top shape in no time.
I've got some friends down there.
Fine, but it's gonna cost you.
Captain Fuzzface, where in the world is the starship?
They should have arrived at the destination by now.
I bring nefarious news, Captain Fuzzface.
What on Jupiter's moons is going on?
You three should have made it back in time
and to the Location of the Master Bone Alpha Centauri
by now.
Just a minor setback, Captain Fuzzface.
Minor setback, whatever do you mean?
Uh, we're about to crash onto Planet Lavatron,
not a problem.
Not a problem?
Nah, nothing to worry about, I've got this.
The survival of the galaxy depends on this mission,
Commander Tuffnut.
Uh, Commander Tuffnut?
Five seconds to impact.
What is happening now?
I think we're crashing!
Ah, here we are, lovely as ever.
Whoa, but now now what Commander Tuffnut?
Bugeyes, my friend.
Commander Tuffnut.
You look just like you did 50 ions ago.
Trying to keep up with the times, Bugeyes.
Now tell me, I'm on the market for a nebulizatron 7000.
A nebulizatron 7000, they don't come cheap.
Money is no problem.
I got my Star Paws card with me,
I'll put it on their tab.
Just name your price.
Uh, Commander Tuffnut?
Captain Fuzzface ain't gonna be
none too pleased about that.
Nonsense, we're saving the galaxy aren't we?
What's a few million bucks in the grand scheme of things.
Well, if that's the case, say Beef,
didn't we just get in some top-of-the-line models?
Oh yeah Hoss, I got some stuff that'll get you flying
like an overcharged photon.
Magnificent, bring it on.
Ah, sailing smoothly once again.
What did I tell you fellas, I've got it covered.
Whoa, you're the best, Commander Tuffnut.
We're on our way to the Location of the Master Bone,
Alpha Centauri.
Wee-hoo!
Way to go, Commander Tuffnut.
That's right, you leave it to me, you ain't seen...
Hey, where did you go?
Ah ha, I got you two impossible fleabags.
You were the Star Paws last hope,
and now you are in my claws.
Whoa.
For all the bacon in the universe.
Where are we?
You are in my ship, you goofy tailwaggers.
You are my prisoners.
Totally soggy buns.
We've been dognapped.
That's right.
And now you will not be able to continue your mission.
And I, Marlon Butterpaws, will find and snatch
the master bomb before anybody else.
And nobody can stop me.
Tuff luck, Star Paws!
You're an evil genius, Marlon Butterpaws.
An evil genius indeed.
Not so fast, milk breath.
You have yet to meet Commander Tuffnut.
Hey, what in the Milk Way is going on here?
We've been hit, we're under attack, Marlon Butterpaws.
What, under attack, who dares attack me?
I dare, sardine brains, Commander Tuffnut to the rescue.
Hey, where did my prisoners go?
Meet my Dematerialize 3000, goofball.
Wait, what?
Hey, we're back.
Totally groovy.
How was your stay, kibble bags?
They seem like nice folks.
Didn't get a chance to spend quality time though.
Maybe next time fellas, but now back to our mission.
All right.
Oh yeah!
Yeah, Commander Tuffnut.
Cool bones.
Commander Tuffnut leaves no one behind.
Hey, who the furball are you?
I'm your worst nightmare, feline.
Take this!
Hey, quit that.
Sorry, no can do.
I'm having good of a time ruffling your fur.
Tinkaroo, arm the ionic missiles.
Engage the super sonic lasers.
Catch me if you can.
You are really getting on my nerves now, buck teeth.
Oh yeah, well you ain't seen nothing yet.
Whoa.
That Commander Tuffnut, he don't take no prisoners.
Fire, fire Tinkaroo!
Our warp fans have been hit, Marlon Butterpaws.
What?
Engage the ionic lava lasers.
Let's teach this wet nose who he's dealing with.
Yes, Marlon Butterpaws.
I'm not done with you, Marlon Butterpaws.
Oh yeah?
We'll take this.
Missed me, take that you ragged feline.
Gotcha!
Wow, it's like the most exciting rollercoaster...
Of our lives.
You better quit your goofing around rodent, all right?
Quit, oh no I'm just getting warmed up.
I've got another trick up my sleeve, you you cat.
Oh yeah, I'd like to see that.
Sayonara, anchovy breath, see ya never.
We're headed for the Bubble Galaxy, guys.
Warp speed engaged at full power.
Hold on to your butts.
Wa-hoo!
Weee-hoo!
Here we are, the Bubble Galaxy.
Whoa, amazing.
Super cool.
Are we about to enter the Fizzle black hole,
Commander Tuffnut?
I wouldn't dream of it.
Why ever not?
Cuz I ain't going nowhere near a planet
packed with gigantic beasts without the help
of somebody who can fight them.
We need a guide.
- A guide? - Who is it?
Take a left at that meteor over there.
Her home planet is three blocks past the squishy supernova.
Star Paws, where have you been?
Dognapped by Marlon Butterpaws, Captain Fuzzface.
Engaged in battle, Captain Fuzzface.
Just living the rogue life, Captain.
That is unacceptable.
We're counting on you to carry this mission out
and beat Marlon Butterpaws to the Master Bone.
You cannot waste time engaging in foolhardy skirmishes.
Wish you'd been there Captain, what a time we had.
Right guys?
Yeah.
Total meatballs.
Gotta go Captain, not a moment to lose.
Got a mission to accomplish.
Hey wait just a proto-second here.
Adventure is in my blood.
My blood is thick with thrills.
Where are we heading, Commander Tuffnut?
Ah-ha, we are heading to Planet Cornchip
to pick up my great friend, Princess Eugenia Marshmallow.
Whoa, did you say...
Princess Eugenia Marshmallow?
The Princess Eugenia Marshmallow?
The very one.
The hero of the war of the Planet Verpal
against the space rhinos?
A war that raged for ten trillion ions
and saw three hundred battles?
The Princess Eugenia Marshmallow?
Who won every single one of them?
Yep.
Whoa.
This is gonna be awesome.
Commander Tuffnut, nice to see you again.
Ah, my princess.
And who are these litter runts you bring with you?
I'm Tony Skyfetcher, Princess.
And I'm Billy June Spaceslobber.
We're on a mission.
A mission?
Interesting, what kind of mission?
We're going to fly our starship
through the Fizzle black hole.
In order to come out the other side
seven trillion ions into the past.
Where we will find
the Location of the Master Bone Alpha Centauri.
Home of the ancient and powerful Master Bone.
Before evil space cat Marlon Butterpaws
can get his paws on it.
And with it take over the universe.
Amazing, and what role are you playing in all of this,
Commander Tuffnut?
I'm babysitting.
Well I'm glad you came by, Tuffnut.
This sounds just like my kind of adventure.
I hope you will allow me to join you in your quest.
I was hoping you'd say that, Princess.
With your warrior instincts and fighting abilities
you can help us
come out of the Master Bone, Alpha Centauri alive.
What dangers await us
on the Master Bone, Alpha Centauri, Tuffnut?
Ravenous space Tyrannosaurus.
Bloodthirsty galactic Triceratops.
All right, sounds just like what the doctor ordered.
Count me in.
This is what I'm talking about, guys.
This is what I was trained to do.
Adventure is what I do.
You and I both, princess, you and I both.
This is totally awesome.
Yeah, this beats poop-scooping duty any day.
Let's set course for the Fizzle black hole crew,
and let's get blasted to the past.
Fizzle black hole, no way.
But Princess...
I will not travel anywhere, not the past, not the future,
without first getting my hair blow-dried
and my claws manicured.
I will not be seen in public looking unprincess-like.
Ah-ha, we meet again, foolish canines.
Guess what, I'm on my way to
the Location of the Master Bone, Alpha Centauri.
But before I do, I think I'm gonna get rid of you
once and for all!
Oh yeah, you seemed to have a tough go last time.
That's before I installed my ultrapodic
freezing gamma rays
foolish quadrupeds!
Marlon Butterpaws, I'm not impressed.
Oh yeah, then allow me to impress you thoroughly then.
Ultrapodic gamma rays, engage!
We're hit!
Oh, gloomy space bones.
Engage the atomic blasters, flea bags.
Time to dive for the black hole
and out of Marlon Butterpaws' claws.
No way.
We're not going anywhere near that black hole.
But Princess.
No buts, bones, or barks, Commander Tuffnut.
We're going to the lower galactic quadrant.
I know a little salon there where they'll fluff me up
in the wag of the puppy's tail.
What in Uranus is going on, crew?
You should be back in the Jurassic period
looking for the Master Bone by now.
Coordinates tell me you're still in the present,
just wandering aimlessly from galaxy to galaxy
like a pack of stray mongrels.
And who in the woof are you?
I'm Captain Fuzzface IV.
Identify yourself.
I'm Princess Eugenia Marshmallow X,
and I got you beat by six generations of myself.
And I'm not going anywhere until I get my sass on.
What?!
You heard me right, Fuzzface.
I don't care where adventure takes me.
What I care about is that I look good when I get there.
Any questions?
But, but...
Ouch.
Marlon Butterpaws means business this time.
Crew, what is going on here?
The future of the galaxy is in your paws,
and you still haven't made it to the past.
Admiral Squigglebuns, the past will have to wait.
We've got a princess who needs to get her sass on,
and Marlon Butterpaws has trained his
ultrapodic gamma rays on us.
What?
That is absolutely inconceivable.
Conceived this, silly canines.
Who is this ridiculous feline?
trying to keep me from getting my fur done?
I'm Marlon Butterpaws,
and this is where you meet your demise, kibble bags.
This is unacceptable, unthinkable, unconscionable.
You must make it to the past and fetch that bone now!
No can do, Captain Fuzzface,
got my paws quite full at the moment.
Wa-hoo!
That was close.
We're diving for that black hole, Princess,
your fur's going to have to wait.
I protest, do you realize what the humidity
in the Jurassic will do to my gorgeous pelt?
Oh I wouldn't worry about your pelt, princess.
You're not going anywhere near that black hole
or the Location of the Master Bone, Alpha Centauri.
Oh yeah, how are you going to stop us?
You will see soon enough, silly creature.
Engage the galactic freezatron.
Galactic freezatron enraged.
We're frozen in time.
More like, we're frozen in space.
Let us go right now, sardine breath.
My pelt is frizzing as we speak.
You're prisoners of my galactic freezatron.
How you like that?
And now if you silly goofballs don't mind,
I'm on my merry way to the past to get my bone.
While you hang there for eternity.
I hope you brought a snack.
Not so fast, silly feline.
Commander Tuffnut Has an old dog's trick up his sleeve.
- You do? - Whoa!
Super cool bacon strips.
Ha ha, don't make me laugh,
foolish bag of odiferous fur.
Oh yeah, well laugh at this, kibble brain.
Engage beaming blasters.
Oh yeah.
Beaming blasters engaged.
Hey wait just a proton minute.
Where do you think you're going?
Sayonara, loser.
This is starting to look like my kind of adventure, guys.
Cosmic.
Totally cosmic.
There she goes, the goal is within our reach.
Let's get the show on the road, shall we?
Yeah, the bone is ours!
Here we are, crew.
It's time to get our adventure hats on.
You know me.
Which way is the bone?
Hmm.
Figure that way?
Hmm.
- I'd say... - We've got company!
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