All language subtitles for Do.Women.Have.A.Higher.Sex.Drive.2018.AMZN.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-NTG-HI

I mean, for years,

men have thought that
they were smarter than women.

Women in universities
in the U.K.

do better than men in nearly
every area of performance.

That's according
to new research.

For years, men have thought

that women should not work.

And that was 2009,
when women became

more than 50% of the workforce.

And for years,

men have thought
that women couldn't lead.

[woman] And last year,
for the first time,

women became 54% of all
American managers.

For years, men have thought

that women could not fight.

The Senate just voted on a bill
that would have women

be eligible to be drafted
into the US military

for the first time
in American history.

And Kinsey mentioned
that for years,

men have thought that women
had a lower sex drive.

Women in the past were sexually

very different
than women of today.

But now there's a cable channel

that just shows porn for women.

The female orgasm can be

10 times more powerful
than the male orgasm.

Women have a wider range
of arousal than men.

I think sexuality is more part
of a woman's identity.

If women were raised

to think of themselves
as sexual creatures,

you would probably see
a very different world.

[female narrator]
Growing up, I never realized

that I had a high sex drive.

Not until I discovered
that sex seemed to feel

more special to me.

It's not that the guys I dated
didn't think it was special.

It's just that, for me,
it felt richer, deeper.

It was more satisfying.

It's like we were doing
the same thing,

but I had a totally
different experience.

Am I the only woman
who feels this way?

Or are there more women
who feel like me?

It depends.
If-If-If the man

is in love with his woman,

he will feel love
with emotions.

But if he, you know,
it's like one-night stand,

he just-- he just, uh,

fulfills his pleasure.

That's it.

And I think for a woman,

there's always such amount
of emotions.

I think for a woman,
it's more important.

I think for the man, because
of his... it bolsters his ego.

Yes, for a woman, because
we have more sexual energy.

I think it's about the same.

Oh, there are differences,
but...

Yes, I definitely think that
women have a higher sex drive,

because, for us
it's more sensual,
and it just feels deeper.

I have to say women

because they crave affection,

and guys, they just...

For men,
it's more important

to have lots of sex
with different people.

They both like it,
but men want it more often.

For women,
it's important to make this

one act of sex they do

an important thing.

There's apparently a shortage
of possible romantic partners.

Complaints of a man drought...

The search for love
is in a state of emergency.

What's keeping them from
finding their Prince Charming?

People don't want to admit
what the reality is.

Professional black women
are not making it up.

Australia is caught up
in a man drought.

Finding the right man
is proving elusive.

It's not easy out there.
There's definitely
a man drought.

I'm feeling it. It's hard
to find a date, even.

Look, if you're a woman,
and you've been wondering

where all the men have gone,

the good news is that
it's not in your head,

but the bad news is that
you're actually right.

There is a massive
shortage of men.

Millions of women know
just what it feels like

to look around
at the men on offer

and think, "No, thanks."

Okay, delay, delay, delay,
as much as you possibly can,

until you know that
you've met someone

that you can be happy with
for the rest of your life.

Growing up with
romantic comedies,

you do tend to think
that life should be like
a Reese Witherspoon movie,

that you should be swept
off your feet.

Some successful women

have had good men
and didn't know it.

[narrator]
Men and women have always had
different opinions about sex,

but according to dating
experts, there has never been

such a major
shift in relationships
than in the last 15 years.

Today I am meeting one of those
dating experts,

Marcia Chong.

In her work,
she talks about

how modern gender roles
have completely changed
the dating game,

and how years of experience
have led her

to an interesting conclusion.

She believes that sex
is more important for women,

and today
I want to find out why.

When it comes to sex
and attraction,

every woman has a secret
that we never share with men,

because if we did, things might
get a little awkward.

You see,
every woman has a list,

a list of all the things
we want in a man.

Now, the problem
is not the list.

The problem is
the size of the list

and the fact that
it is that detailed.

For example,
he has to be tall, handsome,

strong,
educated and ambitious,

have a good job,
have a nice house, a car,

and he has to be social
and fit in with our family.

And of course,
he has to be a good kisser,

a good lover, and a great
father for our children.

But, unfortunately,

only a few men can meet
those high expectations,

and that's why many men
think that women
aren't interested in sex.

But we are.
It's just that

most men don't make the list.

And we call this
the 80/20 principle.

-The 80/20 principle?
-Yes.

It's a marketing principle
that's also used in
the dating world,

and it means that
80% of the women

are only interested
in 20% of the men.

For example, dating profiles.

While men like roughly half
of the women on the site,

most women only like
20% of the men.

And this is why women are so
competitive in the dating world,

and I think
even more than men.

Because most women
are interested
in a very small group of men.

But it's getting worse.

Dating for women is becoming
harder and harder.

-What do you mean?
-For the first time in history,

women are out-performing men
in nearly every category.

More women are graduating,

becoming doctors,
lawyers, bankers,

and all these changes
are dramatically transforming
the dating culture.

Because these days, women are
not dependent on men anymore.

We have our own careers,
our own houses, social lives,

and we can provide
for ourselves.

So now women only settle
with the best.

A man has to have
added value.

And if a man has lower education
or earns less,

he might be
less interesting to women.

So as our status increases,

so do our expectations,

and our lists become
longer and longer.

[Chong] Yes, that's right.
And this also impacts men.

It makes men frustrated
and confused,

because less and less women
find them interesting.

You see, in the past,
almost everyone got married,

because it was seen
as a necessity.

And a good provider
had a good chance
of getting married.

But now,
that guarantee is gone.

And another thing is
that women these days

want a soul mate to talk about
feelings with a man.

But at the same time,
he has to be firm and rugged.

And this is also confusing men.

[interviewer] But why are
our expectations so high?

I think this has to do
with biology.

A man can produce millions
of sperm cells every day,

but a woman
can only get pregnant
a few times in her life.

So she wants
the best husband,

father and provider
for her child,

or else she could end up
raising her child alone.

It's like a handgun
versus a machine gun.

If you had a handgun
with only six bullets,

wouldn't you be very selective
in how you use it?

Yeah, I guess I would be
very selective.

But I recently read a study

that showed that women cheat
as much as men.

Do you think this is true?

Yes. Most people think
that men cheat more.

But in reality,
that's not true.

Because all these men don't just
cheat with single women.

But I think there's one
major difference--

women are better
at keeping it a secret.

Are you saying
we're better at cheating?

In my experience,
men are more obvious

and women are more subtle.

But for a woman,
it's more important to know

if their partner is cheating.

Woman worry about it more,

and that's why a lot of women
need more validation.

When she asks,
"Do you love me?"

or "How much do you love me?"

these aren't random questions,
they actually go back
to evolution.

Because when a woman
becomes pregnant,

she's very dependent
and vulnerable.

So if her partner leaves her
while she's pregnant,
she has a big problem.

Men, on the other hand,
do not experience

that level of vulnerability.

So who do you think has
a higher sex drive?

-Men or women?
-I think women do

because we check out men
all the time.

So women think about sex
more than men,

but in a different way,
a more critical way.

Because we have to make sure
we choose the right man,

we're constantly comparing
and analyzing men.

Is he attractive, intelligent,
and does he have potential?

I even have to admit that

I still catch myself
doing it all the time,

and I'm happily married.

Two birth-control pills
have suspected links

to the deaths of at least
23 Canadians.

[female broadcaster]
More than 1,000 Canadian women

have had gall bladders removed,
strokes,

or are on blood thinners
for the rest of their lives.

They are. They really are.
They are totally messing up

women's natural hormone rhythm.

It's a very, very potent drug,
and it has life-ending
properties to it.

[female broadcaster]
Makers of the two pills
have already paid

more than a billion dollars,
settling thousands of lawsuits.

[female broadcaster 2]
A possible link between
birth control and depression.

Those who use birth-control
pills were twenty three
to two times more likely

to be prescribed
an antidepressant medication

compared to those
who didn't used them.

And you have these mood swings.
Some women can have
suicidal thoughts,

some women can just go
from being extremely happy
to extremely sad.

And so at first
it was assumed that,

okay, well, you're putting
synthetic hormones
into your body

and you're body's just trying
to get used to it,

so those mood swings are normal,

and they'll normalize
as you continue usage.

But it's actually having
an impact on certain regions
of your brain.

[woman] Taking birth control
may be affecting

how women perceive men's
level of attractiveness.

When you expose males

to excess estrogen,

that feminizes males.

When you expose females

to excess estrogen,

it masculinizes females.

The increased risk of
breast cancer and heart disease,

and those are
very concerning, but...

I think for me, the thing
that was most personally
concerning was,

I lost my sex drive.

[narrator] Since I was 15,
I've been on the pill.

It always made me feel
safe and protected.

But recently, more people have
started to reject the pill,

and this made me ask myself,

"Am I still making
the right decision?"

To answer these questions,
I've decided to arrange

a meeting with a specialist
in chemistry

and ask her what
they're putting in our pill.

I've heard many stories
about the Pill,

but does it really
decrease our sex drive?

[woman] Yes.
Studies show that a lot

of birth-control pills actually
lower the sex drive.

In fact, the pill works
by tricking the body

into thinking it's pregnant.

But the problem is that when
the body thinks it's pregnant,

it stops producing
the hormone testosterone.

[interviewer]
You mean the hormone
that affects the sex drive?

Yes. Testosterone makes
a woman take more risks,

become wilder,
put herself out there.

So, the less testosterone
a woman has,

the lower her sex drive.

But sometimes the pill
also increases the sex drive.

Not all birth control
contain the same hormones.

But unfortunately, most women
who are on the pill

report a decrease
in sex drive.

-So do you take the pill?
-No, I don't.

You see, the pill not only
affects the sex drive,

but it also changes
the structure of your brain.

It impacts our sense of smell.

It even impacts especially

how attractive we find men.

For example,
women who meet their partner
while they're on the pill

may find them less attractive
once they stop taking the pill.

-How is that possible?
-Remember,

when you're on the pill,
your body thinks

that it's pregnant,
and it's thinking,

"How can I get
a good male provider

to take care of my baby?"

Physical appearance
is less important.

But once you're off the pill,
your brain is thinking,

"How can I get
a handsome man

to fertilize me and give me
an attractive baby?"

And this problem might be

even bigger than we think.

Since the 1960s, the average
British breast size

has increased
by three cup sizes.

At first, experts thought

it was only due
to weight gain.

But many British women

have maintained
their body proportions,

leading experts to believe

a more disturbing theory...

the increased British
breast size was due

to the unnaturally high
estrogen levels

that are mainly found
in the pill.

[interviewer] Aside from
the pill, do you think women

naturally have a higher
sex drive than men?

In my professional
opinion, no.

Here's the problem--

The female sex drive
is more in the mind,

and the male sex drive
is more in the body.

So it's easy
to measure the body,

but it's very difficult

to measure what's going on
in the mind,

to measure what women
are really thinking.

So women can have
a higher sex drive.

Personally speaking,

I think yes, woman have
a higher sex drive.

But the problem is,
we don't get to show it.

-What do you mean exactly?
-I think it has to do

with the way in which
women are raised.

Most guys have been taught

to go out there
and "macho"

and have as much fun
as possible.

But most girls have been taught
to be modest.

That's why their sex drive
is more internal.

And sometimes women don't even
know when they are aroused.

If a man is aroused,
he immediately

feels an erection down there.

But when a woman is aroused,

she doesn't have any way
of knowing it.

She uses her intuition.

It's much more often
emotional feeling.

-So our sex drives
are more tricky then.
-Yes.

Have a look at this.

This is a Maasai couple.
Can you tell me,

who is the woman
in this picture?

-I think it's
the one on the left.
-No.

The one with the long hair
and the jewelry is the man.

Many people think that

women are less visual
than men.

But it's absolutely not true.

In fact,
it's the exact opposite.

Women are more visual
than men.

In the West,
we actually have

the beauty standard backwards.

Originally, it's men who are
supposed to be beautiful.

Think about the peacock
and its feathers,

or the lion and its mane,

or even ducks.

It's the males
who are beautiful,

not the females.

In fact, when researchers

began to study
female desire,

they were shocked.

Not only did they discover
that women

were just as aroused as men
when watching porn,

they also discovered
that women had

a wider range of arousal
than men.

Even non-human sex

aroused women.

Like millions of people
across the globe,

my husband and I
are outraged and heartbroken

over the kidnapping
of more than 200 Nigerian girls

from their school dormitory
in the middle of the night.

[woman] From the beginning,
the Pakistan Taliban

took credit for shooting
Malala Yousafzai

because she spoke out
against the Taliban

and their restrictions
on education for girls.

Fourteen Pakistani
village council members
have been arrested

for allegedly ordering
a teenage girl to be raped.

[man] Crimes against women
in India have doubled
in the last decade,

sparking worldwide
condemnations.

In India, a rape case
is reported every 20 minutes.

[woman] A 23-year-old student
gang-raped

inside a moving bus
in the nation's capital.

Sexually assaulted
with an iron rod,

her internal organs
pulled out.

The injuries so brutal,
she later died.

The very term
"honor killing"

has a sinister
but misleading ring to it.

The murder of a woman or child
by a father, brother or uncle

for bringing perceived shame
on the family.

[woman] In Egypt,
official reports have shown

that sexual violence
against women has increased.

99.3% of Egyptian woman

have experienced some form
of sexual violence.

Saudi Arabia is
the most conservative
country in the world,

where women are still
banned from driving

and need permission
from their male guardian,

being a father, a husband
or a son, to simply get a job.

[woman] Just a few weeks ago,
she quietly married the love
of her life

against the wishes
of her family.

The day after the marriage,
Sabbah's father and uncle

took her from her new home
and tried to kill her.

[narrator] From a young age,
I have been told that women

have always had
little rights in history

and that we're now living
in the golden age of women.

But what if that isn't true?
Today we're meeting

with Dr. Annine van der Meer.

Annine is a historian,
theologian, and gender expert.

She has written several books
and articles that contradict

many things that we are told
about women today

and reveal the hidden role
of women in history.

What was the role
of women in history,

and was it very different
from today?

Yes. It was very different.

Because before "his story,"

we had "her story."

And that was a very different
cultural period.

There was a lot
of sexual freedom

in that period of history.

There was peace and harmony.

So the idea that man
is primitive and aggressive

in his essence is wrong.

But that changed.

That changed by an enormous
climate crisis

around 3000 BC.

Many ice ages
dried up the earth

and made the word very cold
so that people couldn't

work and live
on the land anymore.

And because the men
had to leave their land,

they took the horses
and the herds,

and they became nomads.

Thus they had
to conquer land

of other people
to live on,

and they brought
a male-dominated society

which was very suppressive
for women.

So how were women sexually?

Women in the past
were sexually

very different
than women of today.

First of all,
they were free

to choose their partners,

and they loved sex
and eroticism.

And having a baby

was something very precious
because there were few people.

And afterwards,
when people settled down
in settlements and cities,

the women also stayed
very free

and could choose
their partners,

so sexuality was really
something

which was bigger than
a biological, medical thing.

It was an emotional,
psychological

and spiritual thing.

Let me ask you a question.

Which is the oldest profession
in the world,

do you think?

I guess prostitution, maybe.

In history,
it's prostitution.

but in "her story,"
it's midwifery.

The midwife helping
the pregnant woman

to deliver the baby,

using herbs
to relax the muscles.

She has a lot
of herbal knowledge.

She knows a lot
about birth control.

That's why they had
so much sexual freedom.

They could choose
their male partners.

They were not afraid
to have babies.

They could experiment
with them

before they choose a final
partner to have babies with.

Wow!
When I think of midwives,

I only think about giving birth,
not preventing it.

Women in the past
knew much more about

anti-conception
than women today.

-Seriously?
-Yes.

Many people think that
sexual revolution started

with introducing the pill
in the '60s,

but this anti-conception
knowledge

was much older,
millennia older.

It gave the women
a lot of freedom.

But then this knowledge
was lost.

At the end of the Middle Ages
in Europe,

there became
a serious illness, a plague,

and the population
was decimated.

Many villages and lands
were empty,

and then Church
and State thought,

"We have to repopulate."

And then they thought,
"Well, who do we know

who manages fertility

and who controls fertility?"

That was the midwife.
And they thought,

"Well, let's remove them.

Let's call them witches."

The literal meaning of the word
"witch" is wiccan,
is "to know."

[interviewer] I always
thought that "witch"
was a negative word,

-but it's actually
about knowledge.
-Yes.

Midwives had
this ancient knowledge

about managing fertility,

about reducing fertility,

and enhancing fertility.

So these wise women

were accused of witchery.

And a witch hunt started,

and it spread itself
all over Europe.

There were so many countries,
and many, many, many women
were murdered.

To accuse midwives
of magical acts

and copulating with the devil

was all about fertility
and sexual acts.

So we had a high sex drive,
but then the Church
took it away?

[Annine] Yes.
We in Western cultures

have a long, long
and very tragic history

of sexual repression--

repression of the libido,

repression of body awareness.

Sex was perverse.

Sex was vulgar.

And we have this split

between sexuality
and religion.

Where is that freedom
we had?

We once had? It's gone.

For example,
look at Egypt now.

So many women
totally covered up

from top to toe.

Even the hands,

in 40 degrees of warmth--
it's terrible.

But how different
it once was.

They could own land,

they could travel,

they could go to the market
and exchange goods.

Everything was possible.
They could choose
their own husbands.

They could marry
whoever they liked.

[interviewer] So our sex drive
was more respected.

-Very much respected.
-Okay.

So the last question--

Do you think women have

a higher sex drive
than men?

Historically
speaking, yes.

Because in these ancient
groups of people,

it was so important
that people got babies

and that the group
was enlarged.

Women were eager
to have sex.

They were honored
for that quality.

When there was this
physical attraction

and psychological
attraction,

to really feel
love and affection
for their male partners,

she really could
reach ecstasy,

and she could take him with her
in that ecstasy.

And I'm convinced
we had that ability,

and we still have that today.

There is an element
of hatred and rejection

in men's relationships
to women

which women are unfortunately
unaware of at their peril.

So I don't know
what sex is for.

I do know how sex
is used against women.

The act of fucking
being to the advantage

of the one who fucks
and to the disadvantage
of the one who is fucked

is always characterized
as female and inferior.

-[man] What do you
think men are doing wrong?
-They oppress us as women.

They won't let us be.

Pornography, essentially,
is the trafficking in women.

It's the sale of women.

It is a system
of sexual exploitation

in which women are devalued,

women are turned
into commodities,

women are sold as meat,
women are, in fact, tortured.

Five years ago,
we said to rape victims,

"Oh, you enjoyed
it, you wanted it,
you asked for it."

And now we are saying
the same things to women

who are forced into prostitution
or into pornography.

Most people in the States
or probably even here

don't really know
what does go on

in pornography,

and I felt it very important

to take a stand and, uh,

let people know that pornography
is not a victimless crime

and to speak up
and set the record straight

as to what happened to me.

[narrator] Before the height
of the feminist movement,

mainstream porn was seen
as something that

men and women
watched together.

Both men and women
flocked to the screenings

to see films like Deep Throat,
Behind the Green Door,

and The Devil Inside
Miss Jones.

But during
the feminist movement,

porn became divided.

Porn was now seen
as masculine, aggressive.

So a new type of porn
had to be created,

a type of porn that suited
the modern woman.

But instead of becoming
less explicit,

the porn that women had in mind
was even more explicit

and would go beyond Playboy
and show everything.

This was the rise
of a new era,

and it was called Playgirl.

[interviewer] As the former
editor-in-chief,

what was it like
working at Playgirl?

It's definitely strange
and a little surreal.

I did not grow up

feeling like I was doing
a lot of the looking.

Certainly I'd always found
men attractive,

but I had literally never
been standing around

just looking at
naked men before.

So it was certainly strange,

but after a while, it all just
becomes very normalized.

And, of course,
dealing with, um,

"mimbos" makes it
get old really fast.

-"Mimbos"?
-I think of mimbos

as basically just
the male version of bimbos.

Guys who are
just solely focused

on what they look like
and how they're appearing.

How fake their spray tan
does or doesn't look.

How white their teeth are.

Whether they shaved their chest
hair and if there's stubble.

Really just un-sexy details

that, um...

you know, just kind of take away
all of, like,

the sex appeal when you're
the person behind the camera.

[interviewer] So there was
a double standard.

Yeah, there's a pretty big
double standard.

If a woman poses for Playboy,
it can help to launch
her career.

If a guy poses for Playgirl,
he can end up getting fired
or he's seen as cheap

or there's a stigma against it
in some other way.

Wow. How did you end up
working for Playgirl?

Um... funny story.

I had just finished
grad school,

and Craigslist had an ad for
managing editor at Playgirl.

And I applied really
as a joke,

and when they called me in
for an interview, I was shocked.

But I went in. I had never seen
a Playgirl before.

You had never seen
a Playgirl before,

-but you wanted
to work at Playgirl.
-Yeah.

And was it hard
working at Playgirl?

It was challenging, for sure.

The magazine was run
by women,

owned by heterosexual men,

and also was trying to cater
to a gay audience.

It was very much
an impossible triangle.

-So you had to compromise.
-Yes.

There was a lot of compromise.
asking questions like,

"What is porn?"
"What is erotica?"
"Where is the line?"

What women wanted and what
men thought women wanted--

it was not always easy
to define.

Well, I know what I want.

Yes, but do you know what
most other women want?

Um, a naked,
attractive man.

Sure, but do you want him
lying in bed,

or do you want him
doing something?

Do you want him flaccid or hard?
Do you want him
with another guy?

Do you want him with another
guy? Do you want him
with another woman?

Do you want him by himself?
In the shower? Outside?

It becomes very difficult
very quickly

to pick out something that's
going to please everybody.

Okay. I get
what you're saying.

Woman need a little more
than just

a man standing
in front of her naked.

Um, guys have a little bit
of an easier time

flipping through a Playboy
or Penthouse and seeing a woman
just standing there.

But a woman is more likely to
notice if there's no story line.

She's more likely to notice
if his makeup sucks

or if his spray tan is off
or if his hair is bad.

She's looking for
all of these details,

and so our responsibility
with Playgirl

was to think in those terms
and deliver.

Wow. How did Playgirl begin?

Well, you had Playboy
coming of age in the '50s,

and then the sexual revolution
happened in the '60s.

And Playgirl was started
in 1973

as a feminist response
to Playboy.

-I heard Jenny Lambert convinced
her husband to start Playgirl.
-Yes.

And over the years,
Playgirl had huge numbers.

And in its heyday, it had

something like 10 million
subscribers.

By the '80s, Playgirl was
getting published in more
than 32 countries.

It had its own TV channel,
male revue shows.

It was literally everywhere.

Even Russia had
its own Playgirl magazine.

[interviewer] But then
why did Playgirl magazine stop?

I think ultimately

we couldn't get
the equation right.

I remember one day
in a conference room

one of my bosses turning
to me and saying,

completely seriously,

"Women do not like
to look at naked men."

And... I was shocked,

and I responded to him and said,
"But I'm a woman,

and I do like to look
at naked men.

I'm attracted to that."

And he completely
dismissed me.

-Wow.
-Yes.

I think if they had let us do
what we wanted to,

what the female managers

at this company
were trying to do,

I think you would've seen a very
different future for Playgirl.

But Playgirl started something
very important.

There wasn't a name for it
back in the '70s.

People were just
calling it "foreplay."

But Playgirl was not
about naked men.

Playgirl was about women
looking at naked men.

It was about the female gaze.

-You mean CFNM.
-Yes.

You can look at

covers like this
as an example,

but there was
so much more interaction

between men and women
in the magazine

when it was truly
entertainment for women.

You have interaction,
you have real connection,

you have the female gaze.

If you study art history at all,
the gaze and the voyeur

is always the man
looking in on the woman.

And Playgirl essentially
flipped that on its head
and said, "Fuck you."

That's what made it so
successful, was this idea that

we were empowering women
to take their sexuality

into their own hands
and their own eyes.

And that was
what was so exciting.

One of the most popular
requests that we would get

with Playgirl
for photo shoots was

a man doing things like
chores around the house

or fixing something.

Even wearing an apron while

the woman relaxed
on a couch.

Essentially,
porn for women was

the men being in positions
of servitude.

But eventually we lost
that connection,

and things started
to disintegrate.

As we were pushed more and more
to appeal to a gay male audience

and to have less
of a direct connection
to our female readers,

a lot of things just started
to get lost in translation.

-Why?
-Because

the people at the top
were very firmly rooted

in their ideas that

women didn't want to look
at this kind of stuff.

And even though you saw more
porn being made for women,

and you saw things like
Fifty Shades of Grey
coming out,

there was still this
overwhelming belief in-house

that women were not the ones
who would be buying
these magazines.

-Really?
-Yes.

They thought that only gay men
looked at Playgirl.

And... that was silly

because the gay men
who enjoyed Playgirl

had always enjoyed it because
it was from a female
perspective.

So as soon as we started

erring more on the side of

what's considered gay poses
or gay content,

we alienated those gay readers

who had enjoyed the magazine
from when it started,

but also in the process,
we alienated our female readers.

But unknowingly,
Playgirl planted a seed.

Even without the magazine
in print, CFNM is everywhere.

It's in every hot photo shoot,
it's all over the Internet,

it's in television,
it's in movies.

It has become sort
of the gold standard

in what women generally see
as erotic.

By the way,
who invented the word? You?

-No, it was Brad.
-Brad? A guy?

-Yes.
-Okay.

So who do you think has
a higher sex drive?

I would say it's equal,

but I can say that
if women were raised

to think of themselves
as sexual creatures,

you would probably see
a very different world.

[narrator]
In 1916,

Universal Studios'
highest-paid director

was not a man,

but a woman.

Half of all films
before 1925

were written by women.

But today,
only seven percent

of Hollywood films
are directed by woman,

and in 2017,
not a single female director

was nominated for an Oscar.

In the Hollywood film industry,
woman are declining.

But in another industry,
women are rising.

In the adult industry,
this year

36% of AVN-nominated directors
are women.

On the surface,
you'd think that

the porn industry
is male-dominated.

But since the beginning
of porn,

women have stood
behind the camera,

and their numbers
are rapidly increasing.

Today I'm meeting one
of those female directors,

the nominated and multi
award-winning director,

Jennifer Lyon Bell.

[interviewer]
How did you get the idea
to make porn as your future?

Um, well, it's been something

that I was thinking about
for a long time.

When I was in high school,
I had seen a little bit of porn,

and I thought it was
really disappointing because

my friends and I were
somewhat sexually active,

and everything that we did
was much more fun

than this porn film that we had
managed to get a hold of.

And over time, I thought, okay,
well, eventually somebody will

start making films
that appeal more to me

or feel more like they're coming
from a woman's perspective.

So that was always a private
fantasy of mine, and then

I went to Harvard for
my undergraduate degree,

and nobody ever graduates
from Harvard

saying,
"I'm going to do porn."

So the boredom in the films
actually triggered you

-to make better films?
-Yeah.

When I watched porn,
I thought, "This looks

really, um, boring."

The stories are boring,

but also the sex itself doesn't
have a lot of spark to it.

And that's the thing
that I cared most about,
was the spark between people.

So I would look for, like,

the 10 seconds or 20 seconds
in a whole movie

that was really exciting,
and I would just watch
that 10 seconds.

And after a time, I thought,
"That's kind of a low bar.

There should be
more of the movie
that we want to watch."

But what is it that makes
your films different?

Well, I watch a lot of porn
that's made for men and by men,

but what I see
in those films often is

things that I as a woman
can't really relate to.

So one thing that's super
important to me is that

women's pleasure and orgasms
be real in the movie.

Because, for me,
if that's not there,
it's a real deal-breaker for me.

-I can't enjoy it.
-Yeah, it definitely
needs to look natural.

Yeah. Yeah.
And so to do that,

what I've learned
as a filmmaker is,

I have to create
a very safe space on set

and create an environment where
the performers have time

to kind of come to orgasm

in their own rhythm.

And that's really different
than most film sets
of any kind

where things are, uh,
a little bit on a pace.

I totally agree.

Real orgasms are
so much better to watch.

And why do women fake
all of their orgasms?

I mean, don't men like watching
women have real orgasms?

Well, in porn,
men who watch porn,

I don't think they always can
tell the difference between

real orgasms
and fake orgasms.

I think men would like watching
woman have real orgasms,

but as a woman,
my orgasm-dar--

like radar, but for orgasms--
is particularly good,

'cause I'm a woman,
and that's my body.

So we need a real thing.
Just natural.

Definitely. More natural.
I mean, the positions

that I like to see in porn

don't have, like,
legs spread wide

with no, like,
clitoral stimulation,

And then the woman is screaming,
but the screams don't even sound

like she's having
that much fun.

These are things that I wouldn't
put in any of my movies,

and I don't think anybody
who is making porn

for a female audience would
put it in their movies,

because it just doesn't
feel natural.

But the most important thing is,
no matter who
you're working with,

you have to make people feel
very comfortable.

And in fact, once I decided
that I wanted the actors

to become more comfortable
with each other,

so I had arranged that
they should go to the sauna.

And then I thought,
you know what? I don't
want them to think, like,

"Oh, you two are the performers,
and I'm up here, the director."

And then I thought,
maybe we should all go
to the sauna together

and just kind of
get it over with,
and we'll all be naked.

-Really?
-Yeah.

Like, naked, naked
or bikini naked?

[laughs]
Uh, we were naked, naked.

Wow, that's pretty cool.
So, do people

-have assumptions
about your life?
-Yeah.

Yeah, like, for example,
people probably assume
that I'm single,

when in fact actually
I have a family

and a daughter.

So does being a mom have
any effect on your work?

Not really. I, uh...

I'm proud of what I do,

and my daughter doesn't
understand it yet

because all she knows is that
Mama makes movies for grownups,

and she's, uh, not allowed

-anywhere near it, so, uh...
-Okay.

So how big is porn
for women, actually?

When I started,
it was very small.

But now it's grown a lot.

And in fact,
now there's a cable channel

that just shows porn
for women.

-[interviewer]
That's really cool.
-Yeah.

[interviewer] And is porn
for women romantic?

No. Porn for women
is not always romantic.

And you're right that
a lot of people assume

that women are
only interested in sex
if there's romance involved.

But, no, porn for women
is really varied.

A lot of women
really like porn

that's not at all romantic,
which is like

BDSM porn, for example,
which doesn't have

all of those traditional
hallmarks of romance.

It's about chemistry
and connection

and being super into
each other,

but that might have nothing
at all to do with romance.

The people might not
end up together.

And I really like that because

there are so many messages
in popular culture

about how women should love
romance, and,

you know, I think it's nice
to get something else from
your porn as well.

[laughs] Yeah.

I also like to experiment.

But apart from BDSM,
what do women like more?

A lot of women
watch gay porn,

and a lot of women
watch lesbian porn.

-[interviewer] Lesbian porn?
-I think if you're looking
at real lesbian porn,

like, not fake lesbian porn
made for dudes to watch,

but where women are really
actually enjoying each other

and getting each other off,
the technique in there

for going down on each other,
for cunnilingus,

is so much better
than what you might see

in a mainstream porn film
that's made for guys,

and I think there are a lot
of women who have fantasized

about having a same-sex
experience.

[interviewer]
I get what you're saying.

I'm kind of into women
too, sometimes.

Maybe even more
than I think I do.

Well, you know
what I mean, right?

-Right?
-Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Um...

But why is gay porn
so popular?

Have you seen gay porn?

Well, like, there's so much
to like about it,

you know, from a woman's
perspective.

One is that, um,

the men are
very good looking.

You get to see everything.
You get to see their bodies,

but you also get to see
their faces,

and in some mainstream porn,

you don't get to see
either of those things.

And in gay porn,
that's all there is.

It's... It's really
nice to see.

Are there disadvantages
in making porn for women?

Well, mostly regular people
are super supportive,

but companies are
another problem.

Nobody wants
to deal with porn,

even if it's really
ethical and fun porn.

What I'm making
is something that I think

a lot of people really like,
and they're just having
trouble finding it.

The final question--

Do women have a higher
sex drive?

I don't know if women have
a higher sex drive,

but I think women have
a sex drive that's at least
as high as guys'.

I know that I personally
felt, like, weird

because I had a high sex drive,
and now that I have met

so many women who are just
like me, I know that,

yeah, this is the way
women are.

The erotic novel
Fifty Shades of Grey

has become the fastest-selling
paperback since records began

and is on course to sell
one million copies
by the end of 2012,

beating J.K. Rowling's
Harry Potter series

and Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code
to the U.K. record.

[woman] 114 million views
in the first 24 hours, right?

More than Star Wars did
in its trailer.

And it's selling
at the unheard-of rate
of one book a second.

And it's essentially
an adult erotic book.

Malaysia banned it
from theaters,

calling it
"More pornography than movie."

-[woman] There's a lot of sex.
-Yes.

-Graphic sex.
-Yes.

But I would say that this movie
is a lot more candid about sex

and a lot more articulate
about sex than most are.

Unbelievable. This book has
taken the world by storm.

It's on the cover of Newsweek.
It's been featured in
Time magazine,

it's number one
on the best-seller list

in both the New York Times
and on Amazon.com.

I cannot get on the subway,

nobody can go to a vacation
resort without seeing women

holding this book
in their hands.

And I wonder if we've turned
a page with this book
culturally,

that so many people
are reading it,

that it has become okay
to really talk about sex.

So what is it about
bondage, discipline,

submission and masochism

that strikes a chord
with so many women?

This book is tapping into
longings that women have

that I would say
particularly the Church

hasn't really
acknowledged or addressed,

and women are just flocking
to it because they feel like
it's going to meet a need.

[narrator]
Spending money on sex

was traditionally
associated with men.

But with the economic rise
of women, more and more women

have started spending money
on their sexual desires--

so much so that economists

are beginning to re-think
women's sexual behavior.

One of these economists
is Dian Biemans.

According to Ms. Biemans,
women may look innocent,

but if we start looking
at the numbers,

we will begin to see
a very different story.

If you really want
to understand women,

you need to understand
Fifty Shades of Grey.

The reality is that women
have bought this erotic novel

in such a volume,
that it has surpassed

150 million sales

and was translated
into 52 different languages,

elevating it to become one
of the most successful pieces
of literature

ever written
in human history.

That should tell us something
about the real desires of women.

And it's certainly not
sugar and spice.

I urge people to stop putting
women on pedestals

and start looking
at the numbers,

because when it comes to sex,

the numbers tell
a really different story.

[interviewer] Why is
Fifty Shades of Grey
so successful?

[Biemans] I think,
in order to truly understand

the success of
Fifty Shades of Grey,

you need to stop looking
at the book and start
looking at the author,

a British woman named
Mrs. E.L. James

Mrs. James, in all honesty,
is an average-looking,

chubby, middle-aged
white woman.

There's absolutely nothing
unique about her.

She could almost be described
as being 100% average.

And that is where
her real success lies,

because she asked herself
one important question--

"In what way can I,
as an average woman,

have sex with an alpha male

and still retain
my innocence?"

Fifty Shades of Grey
addresses the duality

that almost
every woman faces.

I believe that
deep inside every woman

is a crazy sex drive
waiting to be unleashed.

But at the same time,
society teaches women to be

well behaved and proper.

But Fifty Shades of Grey managed
to unlock this secret

by allowing a woman's sex drive
to be unleashed

while still maintaining
some kind of sexual innocence.

So Fifty Shades of Grey
allows a woman to have
the best of both worlds.

Yes, exactly. But it's not
just middle-aged women

who are spending money
on their sexual desires.

There's another group of women
that is far more lucrative.

Ask any music executive.
There is no market

as lucrative
as teenage girls.

They are more devoted,
and they spend more money
than any other group.

They even have words to describe
the sexual obsession--

"Bieber fever"
or "One Direction affection."

Just think about it.

It's girls who hyperventilate

just thinking about boys.

It's girls who take off their
underwear and throw it at boys.

I don't see boys
taking off their boxers.
Only girls do that.

Let me just read you
some numbers.

"1,500 security personnel,

including 500 policemen,
private security guards,

and 25 emergency
response officers."

I'm not talking about
the security of the president.

I'm just listing the security
at a Justin Bieber concert.

And this security is
seriously necessary.

And the past several shows
had to be canceled because

the police could not control
the screaming fans.

-That is incredible.
-Yes.

Some might even argue

that women end up spending
more money on sex than men.

But unlike men, women are
spending more money indirectly.

For example,
some studies show that

women who buy
three-inch-high heels

are almost twice as likely
to receive sexual attention
from men

than women who buy
flat shoes.

And makeup functions
the same way.

Women want to look sexy
and attractive,

so much so that
they end up spending

incredible amounts
on beauty products.

And just to bring a statistic
for comparison,

American men are spending
approximately

13 billion dollars a year
on porn-related products,

while women end up spending
approximately 13 billion
on makeup,

and that doesn't even include
skin care, perfumes
and hair products.

I think one of the most
interesting statistics
are vibrator sales.

Right now the market
for vibrators is $2.9 billion,

while the market for Internet
porn is just $2.8 billion.

That's right. Women spend
more money on vibrators

than men spend on
watching Internet porn.

-So, do you think women
have a higher sex drive?
-Yes.

I think sexuality is more a part
of a woman's identity,

in the clothes we wear,
the makeup we put on.

I think we are much more aware
of our own sexuality.

But I don't think men

display their sexuality
that much.

Sometimes I can walk around
all day feeling sexy,

but I don't think most men
will ever feel that way.

[male TV announcer]
Why more and more men
are ditching marriage,

fatherhood,
even the American dream.

The reason will surprise you
and perhaps make you nauseous.

So many women staying single,
more than ever before.

'Cause we won't settle
for a lesser love.

We now have
the financial security

and all of the education
and the independence

as modern women
to wait for the right love,

and we won't settle for less.

And when they marry somebody
who's less successful,

their marriages are less
satisfying and more likely
to end in divorce.

[man] Recent genetic
research has shown that

before the modern era,
almost all women

managed to reproduce,
while most of the men did not.

The conclusion from this
is that a few top men

had access
to multiple women,

while most men had
no mating prospects at all.

Anywhere from 73% to 93%

of the world's societies
have been polygamists.

And the Greeks are the first
really clearly attested

well-known society
that turns towards monogamy.

The question is, why?

The good answer that's been
given is democracy.

Monogamy is democratic.

This is saying
nothing of women.

The losers in a polygamist
society are poor men.

They don't have mates.
They become violent and an
unstable element in society.

So they've given up
reading, writing,

communicating, exercising,
playing sports.

And for those of you who think
that's not that big of a deal,
it actually is,

because the birthrate
in the country
is declining rapidly.

[narrator]
Recent studies in psychology

have dramatically changed
the way we look
at men and women.

For years,
psychologists thought that

society controlled
women's sexuality.

But modern psychologists
are beginning to challenge
this theory

and are finding new evidence
that is suggesting
the exact opposite.

Today I'm very excited to meet
one of these psychologists,

the published author
and TED Talks speaker

Katarina Gabrova.

She believes that women are
driven by deep sexual urges,

and that once we begin to look
at sex through the lens
of psychology,

things will begin to look
quite different.

There is a saying that

everything in the word
is about sex

except sex itself,

because sex is about power.

And when you ask me,
"Do women have a higher
sex drive?"

you are not really asking me
who has a higher sex drive,

but your real question is,

"Who has more power?"

And I think that is

a very dangerous question.

But I'll try to answer it
with three theories

linked to female power
and sexuality.

The first may be
the most interesting one.

Have you ever heard of a man
called Edward Bernays?

[interviewer]
You mean the psychologist?

Well, not a psychologist
himself,

although he did become
quite famous

for using reverse psychology
on women.

You see, in the 1920s,

an American tobacco company
hired Bernays

to encourage women
to start smoking.

That was a period when most men
used to smoke cigarettes,

but women were not allowed
to smoke in public

as it was seen as something
indecent or un-ladylike.

But Bernays had
an unusual plan.

He actually hired
a psychoanalyst

to help him research
the psychology of women

and discovered that women

were driven
by deep, primitive

sexual and competitive urges.

And since it was a very
male-driven society,

he believed that women

subconsciously had
penis envy

and viewed cigarettes
as a symbol of the penis.

He realized that if
he could connect cigarettes

with the idea of
challenging male power,

then women would begin smoking,

because then
women would feel like

they had their own penises

and therefore male power.

But in order
to achieve his goal,

Edward Bernays did
a very unusual thing.

He secretly started working
with feminists,

linking smoking
to the equality movement,

convincing women
that smoking

is the same as
having equal rights.

And his plan was very
successful because, soon after,

the sales of cigarettes
to women skyrocketed.

[interviewer]
So women began smoking

-because they wanted male power?
-Exactly.

Now, the second theory has to do
with natural selection.

Throughout most
of human history,

almost all societies
have been polygamous.

And I know this may be
hard to believe,

but according to the social
psychologist Roy Baumeister,

polygamy actually benefits
most women

and is actually
a female-driven decision.

Because most women would
rather be the second

or the third wife
of a handsome and rich man

than the only wife
of an average or poor one.

So for example, most women
wouldn't mind to be one

of the many wives of, let's say,
Brad Pitt or Ryan Gosling.

They would rather do that
than being

the only wife
of a construction worker.

So it's similar
to the 80/20% rule.

Yes. The so-called law
of the vital few.

And in fact contrary
to popular belief,

recent studies suggest

that humanity is not led
by the choices of men

but by the choices of women.

You see, genetic research
shows that for most
of human history,

80% of women managed
to reproduce,

while only 40% of men did.

This actually means that
most men who ever lived

did not even get
a chance to reproduce.

And I think
that this difference

is the single most unappreciated
fact about gender.

What this actually means is

that women decide whose genes
carry on, not men.

And that brings me
to the third theory.

I think that sex
in its ultimate form

is the transfer of power.

Men need power in order
to gain access to sex,

but once they are having it,
they lose power.

But a woman's power
increases.

-[interviewer] Are you
talking about orgasms?
-Yes.

While the average orgasms
of both genders are similar,

if we are comparing
the best of the best,

I think it's fair to say
that men simply cannot

match the power of the most
intense female orgasm.

In fact, according
to Drs. Kaneko and Kitamura,

the female orgasm can be
10 times more powerful

than the male orgasm.

And according to these authors,
should we run the intensity

of a female orgasm
through a male's brain,

there is a danger that
such a shock to their system

could actually kill them.

-Are you serious?
-Yes.

According to these doctors
it may be possible.

If we are looking at
the anatomical differences,

the female clitoris contains
15,000 nerve endings,

while the head of the penis
only has 4,000 nerve endings.

And can you imagine what
it's like when these 15,000

sexual nerve endings
fire all at once?

Well, it creates force--
a force so strong

that it almost shuts down
a woman's brain.

And at that point,
all memory, emotions

and reasoning functions stop.

And this event
is so powerful

that some may even
call it spiritual.

-Spiritual?
-Yes.

Most people only know about
two dimensions

when they are talking about
sexual activity--

the physical and emotional.

But some women can reach
a third dimension

when they climax:
the spiritual.

They describe it as a place
where they can finally let go

of all the physical
and emotional baggage.

So you don't actually
leave your body,

but you have the feel that
you have left everything behind.

Yes. Exactly.

[narrator]
Katarina was right.

When I have sex,
all of my troubles float away.

I don't have to think
about any obligations.

I can just let go

and enjoy intimacy.

Now for the big question--

Who has a higher
sex drive?

Everyone has
a different opinion,

but in my journey,
I found out

that we can experience sex
as spiritual,

we have
multiple ways to orgasm,
and that almost every woman

has a bisexual side.

That's why I think that women
have a higher sex drive.

But the world might have
a different view.

I was taught to think
about sex in a certain way--

that a woman is prude
when she doesn't have sex

and that she's a slut
when she does;

that men shouldn't show
their submissive side;

and that genders
can't be sexually fluid.

But sex is more. It's more
than just reproduction.

It's more than your sexual
orientation.

It's more than an action.

The world has become
adjusted to only

one idea of sex.

But as humans, we are capable
of so much more.

[end music]

[upbeat music]