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PODCASTER: [over headphones]
Sight, touch, smell
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00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:12,640
are animal senses we need to connect.
[car horn honks]
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00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:16,000
We are chronically disconnecting
our empathy muscles.
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We are becoming these meaty robots
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00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:19,680
who are bypassing the spirit...
Hiya.
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00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:21,640
...of who we are. Humans.
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In this week's episode...
God!
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00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,560
I'll be talking
to Professor of Anthropology‐‐
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[phone ringing]
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00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:27,320
Oh, fuck.
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00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:29,720
Hiya, James, you all right? What's up?
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00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:33,000
Hey, Aine, um,
you're not at your desk.
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00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,160
AINE: [over phone]
Uh... No, it's lunch.
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00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:36,640
I'm out. Wait, are you at my desk?
15
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:38,040
Uh...
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00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,080
Yeah, no, it's just
you always eat your lunch at your desk.
17
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:43,400
No, I don't.
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00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:44,680
JAMES: [over phone]
Yes, you do.
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00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,160
I mean, yeah, I do,
but you don't have to point it out.
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00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:48,960
You know, sometimes I...
21
00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:51,000
go to the loo or...
22
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:53,240
Um, anyways, do you need me?
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00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,600
Any chance you could come back early?
I'd really love to talk to you.
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00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,360
Also, do you nap under‐‐
Um...
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00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,320
JAMES: [over phone]
Never mind. Are you nearby? Uh...
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No, I've, uh...
I've‐I've got an appointment.
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JAMES: [over phone] What time
will you be back? Before your class?
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Not really 'cause it's a...
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00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:10,760
gynecologist's appointment.
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So I don't really want to...
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[stammering] Wow, um...
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...rush it.
JAMES: Yeah, no, no, no. Please.
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Please don't‐don't rush.
No, no, of course, um...
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Yeah, just 'cause it's my health, James.
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JAMES: [over phone]
Without a shadow.
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Uh, I hope everything's, uh, good...
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uh, uh, there.
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Right, okay.
Well, you are okay, aren't you?
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Yeah, no, great.
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00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,640
Yeah, okay. Bye.
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[phone ringing]
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Huh?
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00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:37,040
[knocking on door]
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[chuckles] Your arse just called me.
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Aine, nice to see you.
[Aine chuckles]
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This is very good acting, Richard.
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WOMAN:
Oh, Aine, is that you, love?
48
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:49,360
Oh! Hiya, Marcia.
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00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,720
Oh, oh, ho, ho.
RICHARD: I, uh, completely forgot
that you, uh...
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00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:52,920
you were coming around for coffee.
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You forgot that I was coming for coffee?
RICHARD: Yeah.
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So you wh‐wh‐He's an idiot.
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What's he like?
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Silly egg.
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Go on, give us a hug.
Oh, what an idiot!
56
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:03,920
Aw.
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00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,240
Oh, this is nice. It's new?
58
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:09,040
Oh, yeah, do you like it?
Well, it's, like, kind of new.
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I robbed it off my sister.
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Bit old‐fashioned... [humming]
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Lovely, that figure.
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Oh, now, come on, look at this.
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Figure year round.
Oh, well, you know, you know...
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Well, you...
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both look great.
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MARCIA:
Aw.
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00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:21,480
So, um...
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00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:25,080
Yeah, I should probably
make those forgotten coffees.
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00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:26,920
Oh, yes, please.
70
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Oh, do you have time, Marcia?
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Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Great. Oh, God.
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But my mother actually loves
the royal family,
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but she'd only admit to Diana.
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00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,720
Oh, don't. Don't, no, no, no.
You know what, she was a bit of me.
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00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:41,560
You know,
when you see yourself in someone?
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Yes.
RICHARD: Oh, Aine.
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Uh, recyclable pods.
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Oh, very good. Good boy!
I'm very proud of you.
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00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:55,400
Oh, lunch breaks are just so short.
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RICHARD:
Yeah.
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00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:01,440
You know, you're supposed to, like,
down it like a shot.
83
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,320
So... So...
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00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:05,200
We know what an espresso is, Richard.
85
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Let us live.
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[laughing]
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Someone in a rush?
88
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[laughing]
[Richard clears throat]
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Ah! Bloody delicious.
90
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,200
Ooh.
Christmas come early?
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00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,040
Oh, I feel like I've come early,
to be honest.
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00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:18,720
[both laughing]
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Right, I'm off.
AINE: Oh.
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00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,360
I've got a color booked.
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I look like bloody Worzel Gummidge
with my roots.
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00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:25,280
AINE:
You do not.
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00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:28,320
Oh, aye, and I got a really good go
at Etienne's room,
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and the good news,
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no crackly socks, it seems,
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00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,400
which should be a relief
for us all because‐‐
Jesus!
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00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,680
Well, I'm sorry,
I was keeping an eye out.
102
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Well, I've got two sons, haven't I?
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Oh, God, that's quite...
Yeah.
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My two when they both suddenly,
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"It's all right,
I'll wash my own sheets, Mum."
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Disgusting.
AINE: Oh, gosh.
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MARCIA:
Anyway, all ahead of you.
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00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:49,560
Your school's
right by Shepherd's Bush, ain't it?
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Yeah. Yeah, it is, yeah.
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All right, would you want
a lift back then?
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My salon's right there.
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Ohh! Yeah‐‐
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Oh, do you know though, um...
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I'm gonna finish my coffee.
115
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Well, just knock it back like a shot.
116
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Oh, yeah.
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I got to have a wee as well.
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And a walk. Do you know what?
I'm gonna walk. I'm gonna do it.
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I'm gonna walk.
120
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,440
Well, don't just have that
for your lunch, will you?
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AINE:
No, I won't.
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00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:16,800
MARCIA:
All right, love. Okay, I'm off.
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Lovely to see you, darling.
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And you, Aine.
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[laughing]
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Bye.
MARCIA: Bye, love.
127
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Bye.
128
00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:28,080
Sorry.
129
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:28,840
[door closes]
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I feel bad.
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00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,520
Hey.
Hey.
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00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,640
♪ up‐tempo music playing ♪
133
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Hey, could you set a time
for Charlotte to come in and talk to me?
134
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,720
Can you not just go in to her?
135
00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,640
Yeah, no, I'd like her
to come in and‐and talk to me.
136
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:18,640
Yeah, I mean, you could just text‐‐
137
00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:19,560
Julie, can you just...
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sort that? Thank you.
139
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:22,800
Thank you.
140
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:25,120
Fine, fine.
141
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:29,760
[loudly] Charlotte!
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Shona wants to speak to you.
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♪
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Hmm.
No, but‐‐
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Honestly, I don't‐I don't‐It's fine.
146
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I don't want you to be, you know,
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00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,040
more frustrated than I am.
148
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,440
No, it's‐I just feel like
it's unfair on you.
149
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:56,040
You know? Has it happened‐Like does it‐‐
150
00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,960
Would it happen, like, with other‐‐
151
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:00,160
Like, does it happen‐‐
152
00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:03,320
I mean, yeah. Sure.
153
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,520
Yeah, sometimes, I mean‐‐
Yeah. Yeah.
154
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,840
You must have had times,
you know, where you didn't...
155
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,360
come‐‐
Oh, God, yeah!
156
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:12,640
'Course. Oh, my God, yeah.
157
00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:17,480
Like, 90% of all of the times of always.
158
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:20,760
You know, for most of every...
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00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:22,640
every woman ever.
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Always. But...
Right.
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...I am determined. [chuckles]
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It will happen.
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Ay, ay, ay, ay.
You got to go?
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00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:33,720
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
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00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,000
Hey, do you know what I, um...
Do you know what I love in movies?
166
00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,240
Uh, no. What do you love in movies?
167
00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:40,720
Um... Uh...
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00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,280
I love when, you know‐‐
when you see two characters in a scene
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who've clearly just had sex
and obviously seen each other naked.
170
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,000
But clearly an actor isn't comfortable
171
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,520
and they've got something
in their contract, so they're like,
172
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"Okay, well, I'm just gonna slip
to the bathroom."
173
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,560
And then they're like... [grunting]
174
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:57,160
Uh, no! Aye!
[Aine laughing]
175
00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:01,400
When was your last relationship?
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00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,600
Wow, that's a gear change.
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00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:04,720
[Aine chuckles]
178
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,760
Uh... about a year ago.
179
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:08,520
[gasps]
[urinating]
180
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Yeah, it, uh, ended around the time
181
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that, um, Etienne dropped from the sky.
182
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:14,880
Oh!
183
00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:16,960
So not that long ago.
184
00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:17,640
No.
185
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:19,880
And, uh...
186
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[ripping toilet paper]
187
00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,520
what was her‐their job?
188
00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:25,240
Uh, she was a human rights lawyer,
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of all things.
190
00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:29,280
Wow, what, um, uh...
191
00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:31,600
a cunty job, eh?
192
00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:34,440
It's a bit try hard, you know, Richard?
193
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:35,320
Nothing like me,
194
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:37,800
your humble, old English teacher,
you know?
195
00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:40,680
Well, you're more useful to me.
[toilet flushes]
196
00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:43,720
God, you know,
I actually love my job, though.
197
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,360
Like, I know you're
not supposed to say that,
198
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:47,480
but I actually love teaching.
199
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:48,640
That's great.
200
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:52,920
I, um... I did a session with Etienne
this morning over the Internet.
201
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:54,400
That actually went surprisingly well.
202
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,120
Oh, yeah? Uh, how‐how‐how was he?
203
00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,480
Oh, have you not spoken to him?
204
00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,000
Uh... No. Um...
205
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,320
Oh, uh, yeah. 'Cause we have
this scheduled in for school anyway.
206
00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:06,920
So it's probably, you know‐‐
207
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:07,560
Yeah.
208
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:09,520
Yeah, but he seemed good.
209
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:11,960
Good.
210
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,160
[chuckles]
211
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,320
What are you, uh...
What are you doing this evening?
212
00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:20,760
[sighs] Wedding dress shopping.
213
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,600
[laughing]
214
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:24,920
You Catholic girls move fast.
215
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,320
Yes.
216
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,280
Right. Next time.
217
00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:29,280
Yes, we can.
218
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:34,080
♪
219
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:37,800
CHARLOTTE:
All okay?
220
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,320
Yeah, yeah. Hi. Come‐come in.
221
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,120
Uh... Um...
222
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,360
We‐we should close the door.
223
00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,560
CHARLOTTE: Julie can still lip read
through the window but fine.
224
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:48,800
[Shona clears throat]
225
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:50,800
Right, um...
226
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:54,360
Yeah?
227
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:56,760
Um...
228
00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:58,520
Yeah. Are you in a snot with me?
229
00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:00,760
I'm not in a snot.
230
00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:02,640
Okay, 'cause it‐‐
It just feels like you're in a snot.
231
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:03,480
CHARLOTTE:
I'm not.
232
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,280
Right, well, as long as you're not.
233
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,880
A snot would be if you stole my stapler
and didn't give it back.
234
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,240
This is more...
235
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:11,560
"The woman I was seeing sent me
236
00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:13,440
a save‐the‐date
for her wedding through the post."
237
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,680
That feels a little bit more than a snot.
238
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,040
Okay, Vish did that.
239
00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:18,960
Not me.
Oh.
240
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,320
I would never have done that. Obviously.
241
00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:22,560
So I'm not invited then?
242
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:23,360
Oh, do you want to come?
243
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:25,400
I'd rather be set fire to in a bin.
244
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:27,440
Well, I'm sorry to hear that but‐‐
245
00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:28,960
"I'm sorry but." [scoffs]
246
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,040
I knew you were in a snot.
247
00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:34,160
And just, you know, practically speaking,
248
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:36,880
we‐we have a ton of pitches
to get through.
249
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,960
And even, like, that aside...
250
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,400
Okay, forget all that, moving forward...
251
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,840
I want us to be, uh, friends, you know.
252
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,160
I want us to be colleagues.
253
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,600
I want us to build a business
254
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:51,200
together‐‐
Have you made notes?
255
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,560
No, I haven't made‐‐
256
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:55,360
I've made a few...
257
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,200
notes because, you know,
258
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,400
I'm fucking frazzled
259
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,440
by‐by‐by this energy.
260
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:04,520
And do you know what?
You've seen them now, so why don't I‐‐
261
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:07,120
So why don't I just... I'll just‐‐
262
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:09,640
[exhales]
263
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:10,640
Read away.
264
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:14,240
"Charlotte.
265
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:15,920
[sighs]
266
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,440
After our situation‐‐"
267
00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:18,960
"Situation"?
268
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,000
Shona, are you actually a robot?
269
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,240
We were sleeping together.
270
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:23,880
Can you‐‐
271
00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:25,720
We've been over this.
272
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:26,720
No, don't do that.
273
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,600
Don't‐Don't write off my feelings
274
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:29,680
'cause they don't suit you.
275
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:31,240
SHONA:
Great! She's looking.
276
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,760
They don't suit me,
277
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:36,520
and they don't suit you either.
278
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:38,320
We've‐we've gotten over all this.
279
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,400
And now just because of a piece of paper‐‐
280
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:41,640
It's hard not to be in a snot with you
281
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:44,400
when you talk about us
like you were on a week‐long gay safari
282
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:46,760
and left with a nice, fucking rug
from the gift shop.
283
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:53,440
It's fine. Sorry, I'm not trying...
284
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:57,480
Keep reading your notes.
No, I'm not gonna read the notes.
285
00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:58,720
I feel stupid now.
286
00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:00,480
Don't read the last line.
287
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:03,640
I read it.
288
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:10,040
"We're in business together.
We need to not have feelings."
289
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,200
That's fair.
290
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:20,760
You deserve to be with someone great
because you're great.
291
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:21,440
I know I'm great.
292
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,920
I am fine. We're fine.
293
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,440
You're great too, and so is Vish.
294
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,200
Yeah. Yeah, he is.
295
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:32,480
I've actually
started dating someone great, so...
296
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:33,240
Oh!
297
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,560
Who? Great. Who?
298
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:37,320
That's great.
299
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:39,040
Just a great woman.
300
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,000
Not suddenly a guy.
301
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:43,120
Bad joke.
302
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,800
I'll be great and not in a snot
303
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,560
by the time
we need to work on the pitches.
304
00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:50,680
We're clear.
305
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:52,840
[door opens and closes]
306
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,240
[mouths]
You okay?
307
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:01,560
[mouths]
Yeah.
308
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:03,720
Thank you.
309
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:06,280
Can I get coffee?
310
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,240
♪
311
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:17,240
What, start a school together?
312
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,600
Yes! Online mostly at first.
313
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,360
But, you know, still keeping
that one‐to‐one in person.
314
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:23,160
Oh, God!
315
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:24,600
And as much as it pains me to say it,
316
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,480
and despite your terrible personality‐‐
317
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:27,200
Thank you.
318
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,680
The students love you,
319
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:30,280
and the parents love you.
Oh!
320
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:33,000
All the feedback stuff you've been
sending me over the last couple of months,
321
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,480
it's, uh... It's so good, Aine.
322
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:36,120
Oh!
323
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,200
I don't want
to be sat at my desk all day,
324
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,560
just filling out forms
for someone else's business.
325
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,680
We could properly start
our own education service.
326
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,720
Build on what I've already set up.
Yes!
327
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,160
So we're no longer working for the man.
328
00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:49,360
Yeah! I mean, I work for you,
so I always thought you were the man but‐‐
329
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:50,560
No, no, no, the main man, the big man.
330
00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:52,360
You know, the man, man. You know?
331
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:53,400
That's Jesus!
332
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:54,560
[both laugh]
333
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:56,280
Look, I know you have to think about it.
334
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:57,720
No, of course, but I'll do it.
335
00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,040
Really?
Yeah, of course.
336
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,880
Oh! Yes!
James, I do.
337
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,400
It feels a little bit magical.
338
00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:07,520
Must be how Bill Gates felt
when he discovered that first Window.
339
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,920
I mean, he had to discover 94 bad ones
340
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:11,160
before Windows 95.
341
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,640
Ayyy. This is why we work.
This is why we work.
[James laughing]
342
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,080
[school bell ringing]
343
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,680
We can't tell anyone here
until we have it set up, okay?
344
00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:19,760
God, yeah. Wow, so many secrets.
345
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,280
What do you mean?
346
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,120
Uh...
347
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,320
Life, James.
348
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:26,840
As Des'ree once said, "Oh, life."
349
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,920
[both laughing]
350
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:29,800
Yes!
351
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,240
I'm getting fierce
Wolf of Wall Street vibes
off you right now, James.
352
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:33,080
Fierce!
353
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:34,960
Oof.
You hear that?
354
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:36,440
[laughing]
355
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:37,840
Yeah. Ooh.
356
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:38,800
Tough on the tits, that one.
357
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,040
Oh, my God.
358
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,720
This might literally be
one of the best days of my life.
359
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,400
SHONA: Starting a business with James?
AINE: Mm‐hmm.
360
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,520
SHONA: Like, setting up a business?
361
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,600
Aine, this is huge.
I know.
362
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,680
No, but I mean, it might be too big.
Fuck off!
363
00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:57,600
No, but starting a business...
364
00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,440
Yeah, I'll be a business woman.
Just like my hero, you.
365
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,320
Do you even know what HMRC is?
Yes, bitch.
366
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,200
Oh, God, this lemon one is shite.
367
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,440
His Majesty's...
368
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:08,880
Royal Casino.
369
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,880
[laughs] Casino Royale. HMRC.
370
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,920
I mean this in a nice way, okay?
Uh‐oh.
371
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,400
So don't get all‐‐
But why is he asking you?
372
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,920
Oh, actual fuck off now, Shona.
I said I meant it in a nice way!
373
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:21,040
But does he know
you got no money to invest?
374
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,400
Are you gonna have to leave your job?
375
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:25,000
You know, is he gonna be your boss?
Are you working together?
376
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,320
Shona, these are
all meaningless questions.
377
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:30,400
Oh, my God, this lemon macaron
tastes like actual pure cock.
378
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:33,560
What do you mean, "macaron"? Macaroon!
Macaroon. My fault.
379
00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:35,680
Did you get that on the fuckin‐‐
Jesus, what‐‐
380
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,560
[clears throat] Dressing rooms
are set up for you ladies.
381
00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,240
Oh, thank you very much.
Thank you.
382
00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:42,760
Oh, my God, these are delicious.
383
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:44,240
Whatever they are.
384
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:48,400
SHONA: What do you think
about a white trouser suit?
385
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:49,800
BigFatNo.com
386
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,080
SHONA:
Why?
387
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:54,800
Because people won't know who is the boy
and who is the girl at the wedding.
388
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,480
Especially not
with your big, manly shoulders.
389
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,720
I don't have manly shoulders.
390
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,400
Well? [sighs]
391
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:04,920
No, yeah.
Yeah, no.
392
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,400
The top of that one's nice though.
Just the...
393
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:07,440
Yeah.
394
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,520
Oh, maybe I could wear a trouser suit
395
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:11,440
as a professional business woman
going to the wedding.
396
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,080
No. Trouser suit's my idea.
397
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,560
I'm gonna try a different dress.
398
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:19,080
That color is nice though.
SHONA: [sarcastically] Ha!
399
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,360
Also, you know,
sleeping with one of your clients
400
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:26,320
is not the best move
for a professional business lady.
401
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:29,320
God, shut up.
Anyways, you slept with someone at work.
402
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:30,680
No.
403
00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:32,760
What? No, I didn't.
404
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:37,360
You're saying that you and Vish waited
until after you'd finished working at
405
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,680
De... Belnm... Belabenham.
406
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,320
SHONA:
Balanem Brothers Finance.
407
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,600
[speaking gibberish] Finance, yeah.
408
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:47,600
Yeah, but that was... different.
409
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,120
I was working with him,
not for him like you.
410
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,840
More like under him, am I right?
Hey‐oh!
411
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,000
Aw, she's so pretty!
412
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:02,520
I feel like a sad old ghost bride.
Aaah.
413
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:05,200
I feel stupid. Do I look stupid?
No, you don't look stupid.
414
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,080
You‐Honestly, you look stunning.
You could wear anything.
415
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:09,760
I mean, you looked stupid
in the dress before,
416
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,480
and in your normal,
daily, regular clothes‐‐
417
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:13,720
Ow! Shona!
418
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,280
That's my skin! Please!
419
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:17,880
This is all we have left.
420
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,080
Aww!
Aww!
421
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:20,560
Okay, thank you.
Oh, thanks anyways.
422
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:22,520
[whispering] Scabby!
423
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,040
Maybe with, like, a jazzy shoe.
424
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,040
You know, then you got,
like, hair and makeup, so you have to‐‐
425
00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:32,760
Yeah, obviously,
hair and makeup.
426
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,160
I don't‐Yeah,
you could go with jazzy shoe.
427
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,800
I just sort of feel
with that one, it's sort of,
428
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:37,200
I dunno, neither here nor there.
429
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,320
Well...
430
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:39,440
Okay, I'm gonna FaceTime Mam.
431
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:42,520
Oh, no, please.
I just wanna involve her, you know?
432
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:43,960
Oh, my God, shall I try one on?
433
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,840
Oh, my God. Oooh!
434
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:47,360
Hey, Mammy.
AINE: Hi, Mammy.
435
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:48,120
MAMMY:
Hi!
436
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:50,680
Put your whole head in the‐‐
Oh.
437
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:51,960
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
438
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,480
Okay. What do you think?
439
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,680
Maybe‐Maybe with a brooch?
440
00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:01,400
[sarcastically] Yeah, a brooch.
Or maybe, like, a peacock feather or?
441
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,200
Yeah. Yeah, maybe a feather.
442
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:05,760
Otherwise, it's sort of
neither here nor there.
443
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:06,680
AINE:
That's what I said!
444
00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:08,840
Unless, of course,
that’s the look you’re going for.
445
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,960
[Aine laughs]
Well, no. I mean, clearly,
446
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:14,760
"neither here nor there" is not the look
I'm going for for my wedding.
447
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:17,480
I want it to either be really here
or really there but‐‐
448
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,320
Maybe with a tan,
you wouldn't look so washed out.
449
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:24,600
Yeah. What? But, yeah,
like a light winter tan.
450
00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,920
Now, I have been talking to Kavita.
SHONA: Uh‐oh!
451
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:29,920
And I think I'm going to wear a sari
452
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:32,000
out of respect for Vish.
[Aine laughs]
453
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:32,680
A sari?
454
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,280
And she's going to get me one
in green, white, and orange for Ireland.
455
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:39,040
Fuck off, Mammy. A‐a tricolor sari?
456
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:42,120
Jesus! Shona,
do not speak to me like that.
457
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:46,200
No, sorry. But, Jesus, what‐‐
[sputters] An Irish flag sari?
458
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:49,480
You'll look like
an Irish‐Indian Geri Halliwell.
459
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:52,160
Who is Geri Halliwell?
I never heard of Geri Halliwell.
460
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:53,720
AINE:
She's a Spice Girl, Mammy.
461
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:55,440
What? An Indian woman?
462
00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,760
Well, Mammy.
Dress for the job you want, am I right?
463
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,680
Take that off.
It's Shona's day. That's bad luck.
464
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,160
AINE: Bad luck?
Take it off if it's bad luck.
465
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,520
Oh, what does it do?
466
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,120
MAMMY: It brings an early death.
467
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:09,640
[line disconnects]
What? Mammy?
468
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:12,120
That was quick.
469
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:13,480
[both laugh]
470
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:16,440
Shall I call her back?
471
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,520
Oh, no. God, don't.
It's too annoying. Please.
472
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:21,560
A fucking tricolor sari?
473
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:26,040
This is kinda nice on me, isn't it?
474
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,280
Like, obviously, with my hair and makeup
and stuff like that, but‐‐
475
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:29,520
Look!
476
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,880
I really worry
about you getting carried away.
477
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,960
Shona, come on.
Carried away? Don't be silly.
478
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,920
Oh, Ow! Ugh. God, my nose!
479
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,160
Sorry. Sorry. [chuckles]
480
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:45,080
Hiya, um, do you have this,
um, tiara in just, like, a smaller size?
481
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,160
'Cause I've got quite a petite head.
No.
482
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:47,360
Oh.
No.
483
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,200
That's...
484
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,480
All right, okay.
Well, thanks for trying anyways.
485
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:54,160
What a bitch!
486
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:56,920
[whispering]
She's right there!
487
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,160
SHONA: You never told me
how it went with Richard the other night.
488
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,400
Was it good? Was it awful?
Shona!
489
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:09,560
God! No, it wasn't awful. Ugh.
What?
490
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,480
I wasn't‐‐
I was asking about the date, not the sex.
491
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,200
But go on then, now that we're here.
492
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,040
Ugh.
What?
493
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:18,240
Did he upset you?
494
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:22,480
Aine, did he cross a line?
Cross a line? Shona, come on.
495
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,040
No, he didn't cross a line.
496
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,320
If anything, it was the opposite,
you know? Because he's just‐‐
497
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,160
Like, because he's a bit older,
498
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:32,680
he really knew how to... [sighs]
You know...
499
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,120
What?
Oh!
500
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:38,080
Well, it was more that, like, he didn't.
501
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:41,680
You know, I think it‐‐
Just in the middle of it,
it sort of went...
502
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,200
Oh, my God, it went soft.
Oh!
503
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:44,600
His penis went soft.
Shona!
504
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:48,640
It was soft? That's normal
for, you know, older guys.
505
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,400
It used to happen to Vish sometimes.
506
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,000
Actually, when‐‐
Um, stop. Vomit.
507
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,000
When his granny died,
he couldn't get it up for two months.
508
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,040
We just had to do other stuff.
509
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:59,360
What, Vish could only get the horn
when his granny was alive?
510
00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:04,480
Shut up. It's just it's‐‐
You know, it's up and down, isn't it?
511
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:08,360
Attraction in a relationship
is like a scale. Spectrum.
512
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,400
Have you ever fancied someone else?
513
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:11,360
What?
514
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:12,640
No.
515
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:14,360
Don't be stupid.
516
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,080
I gotta go. Whoops, bye!
517
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:18,080
Love you, bye!
518
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,120
♪
519
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:24,320
SHONA: Do you want both
or do you want the good one?
520
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:25,640
VISH:
Ah!
521
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:26,320
Sorry.
522
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:28,080
Here's both.
523
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:30,840
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they look really big.
524
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:32,680
Yeah, I'm due my period, so‐‐
525
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,080
Are your hands down your pants?
526
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:35,960
Uh, they are now.
527
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:37,240
[chuckles]
528
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,760
VISH: Oh, drop that camera a bit.
Drop it down.
529
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:43,000
Okay, uh... I'm gonna put it‐‐
530
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:45,760
Is that okay? Does that work?
531
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:47,040
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's good.
532
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:50,320
Oh! You're so beautiful!
533
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:51,760
Oh, I love you.
534
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:52,760
I love you too.
535
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,640
Oh, oh, I love you.
Oh, I wish I was there now, baby.
536
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:56,360
SHONA:
Me, too.
537
00:20:56,360 --> 00:20:57,560
VISH:
Okay, yeah, yeah.
538
00:20:58,360 --> 00:20:59,160
Oh, yeah.
539
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:04,920
[softly] Oh, fuck.
540
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,560
[breathing heavily]
541
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:18,320
VISH:
Oh! Oh!
542
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:20,680
Uh, what happened?
Oh, God!
543
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,480
Um, uh, Shona, where are you?
544
00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:25,280
What?
545
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,200
I'm here, I'm here. Sorry.
Where are you?
546
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,880
You just‐You just‐‐
It's fine, it's fine.
Sorry.
547
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:33,640
Just quick‐Just sh‐show me‐‐
show me your tits again.
548
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,360
Yeah.
VISH: Your ass. Your ass, actually, yeah.
549
00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:38,240
Oh, uh, really?
It's just I haven't waxed there.
550
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,920
VISH: Baby, just turn around.
Okay, hang on.
551
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:42,120
Uh...
552
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:44,760
[Vish moaning]
553
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,760
Okay. Oh, oh! I'm gonna come, baby.
554
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:49,920
Oh, where do you want me to come?
Where do you want me to come?
555
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,240
Um, just, uh...
556
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,360
All over, just everywhere.
557
00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:55,840
All over my‐all over my back.
558
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:57,160
VISH:
Oh, here I come. Oh, God!
559
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:58,280
[exhales]
560
00:21:59,160 --> 00:21:59,960
[Vish grunting]
561
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:02,400
[panting]
562
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,840
Oh! Oh, I love you.
563
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:07,880
I love you too.
564
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:13,520
[both panting]
565
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:14,480
I really love you.
566
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,080
♪
567
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:31,520
♪
568
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,200
♪
569
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:52,760
♪ Work it, baby ♪
570
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:54,200
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
571
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,440
♪ Free your mind! ♪
572
00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:58,320
♪ Hey, ai, ai, ai, ai, aa ♪
573
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:00,160
♪ Work it, baby ♪
574
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:01,800
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
575
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:03,960
♪ Free your mind! ♪
576
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:05,560
♪ Hey, ai, ai, ai, ai, aa ♪
577
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:09,080
♪ Do what you wanna do
Be who you wanna be ♪
578
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:12,920
♪ Live like you're about to die
Break hearts and make them cry ♪
579
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:16,800
♪ Dance to your favorite tune
Shaking that thing with attitude ♪
580
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,480
♪ Work it, baby
Work that room ♪
581
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,600
♪ Live it like you know you should ♪
582
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,680
♪ Work it , baby ♪
583
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:24,400
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
584
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:25,720
♪ Free your mind! ♪
41755
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