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Should we dim the lights at least?

Yeah, the style.

I really like this, but we can do it later.

I'm gonna roll, okay.

Open your eyes.

Move your head slightly left and right.

Bring your hair in front of your shoulders.

And look towards the window.

And at me.

And look straight into camera.

And be serious.

Ten seconds more...

Can you cry? No...

...In ten seconds?

In ten seconds?

What do you feel about putting a line of this?

And then you look at us...

What do you know about Benedetta,

the woman that we are trying to cast?

Your mother?

What do you want to know?

Well, for several months,

or years, actually,

I've heard you talk about this desire of yours to go away.

Can you explain to me what exactly this project involves?

Entering a world that's the opposite of the one I've lived in up to now.

I live in a world where everything now is "delegated" to photography.

Nothing is left to memory...

...your own memory.

What I'm interested in, instead...

...are the things that can't be seen, not those that can be.

What island would you like to go to?

I don't give a damn what island.

I know it has to be far away enough for nobody to ever get there.

How will you choose this island?

Starting by going far away...

With no credit card, phone, computer or bank account... with nothing.

Can I help you?

To go away?

No.

Why did you agree to make this film?

Because I tried in every way to tell you no.

But my "no" was a wound to you.

And in the end, I preferred to wound myself.

That's all.

Have a look on the door, there's the time.

- Which door? - The one behind you!

Turn around and read!

Right...

"21 November...

"Dear Mrs. Barzini, I am pleased to inform you that Milan City Council

"has decided to award you with a gold medal for civil honor."

It's at 11!

- Mom... - What?

- How do you plan to dress... - Like this!

...For the ceremony?

I'll take this off because I'm cold.

Like this!

Could we not dress a little more appropriately?

I'm perfectly dressed for 11 o'clock in the morning!

For someone who doesn't want to make a fuss.

- Not even for fun, for the film? - This isn't fun for me!

Something a little elegant?

I don't have anything that's elegant.

It would be useful for the film if...

when you meet your friends who're receiving awards,

like Eva Cantarella...

maybe if you asked each other why you're receiving the award...

Why, do you think?

You don't ask such idiotic questions to such important people!

"Why are you receiving an award?"

Why do you think! Eva's a...

I don't understand the way you think!

What kind of reasoning is that?

But you...

Michele is an economist!

Do you think he's receiving an award because he pees every morning?

What kind of fucking way of thinking is that!

Why are you receiving an award?

I don't know and I don't care!

It's undeserved...

Undeserved in terms of the values of today!

Exhibitionism, being productive, money-making, being...

All that kind of stuff! I have nothing to do with it!

Certainly...

They think that...

the fact that I was a supermodel is prestigious for this stupid city.

- No...? - Yes, but the one time...

you get recognition for something, you can at least...

be satisfied for a moment! There must be some merit to it!

If they're honoring me for the model thing, beauty isn't a merit.

Not at all.

You don't understand...

Why don't you understand?

Model, journalist and teacher...

She worked in the USA

for some of the greatest photographers

from Bert Stern to Richard Avedon.

Thanks to her beauty and personality

she destroyed the stereotype

of the brainless cover girl...

Benedetta Barzini!

I have always labored under the illusion,

but I also think it was true,

that nobody ever photographed me.

Because my face is not for sale.

I can pretend...

with a lot of makeup, fake eyelashes,

with wigs, clothes, the craziest stuff...

And I would perform the role of the woman dressed up that way.

But it wasn't me.

The real me isn't photographable.

I asked myself this question...

why do we have prototypes of beauty?

Why are models at the bow of the ship

and the other women are squashed into the stern?

Why?

Because men invent women,

and this leads to Jessica Rabbit.

And maybe it would be better if female bodies disappeared

from men's imagination.

We criticize fiercely those women who wear burkas,

but I can assure you that sometimes

I would like not to be seen

and be able to walk concealed within my privacy.

Hi.

I wanted to ask if there's anything you want me to put in the wash?

No, this is how I do my washing.

One piece at a time, when it's necessary.

Then I hang it here.

And I don't need a washing machine.

And I don't use bed sheets.

Whatever's in my bed has been there since July.

And it's perfectly clean.

Have you seen how straight my hair is?

I like it.

- Do you prefer it straight? - Yes, I like it a lot.

Well, it's not naturally straight, so...

I didn't say I prefer it straight. I only said I like it, a lot.

When you were young, how did you straighten your hair?

What?

When you were young, how did you straighten your hair?

Straight.

- But how? - Just like this. But straight!

But how, in the sense of what means did you use in the 1960s?

With tongs.

- That must have hurt! - Yes, it was insane!

Or else I would use hair curlers...

the big ones...

And then it would start raining!

And it would rain on my hair, as soon as I took them out.

So, you see...

A pointless battle.

Poor hair.

Could we just take a photo of us together in the mirror?

Yes.

This is a sea shell from Baratti.

Like this.

Hair off your face.

- That's it. - OK, now...

Focus, and...

Photo.

That's Benedetta Barzini!

The history of the fashion and clothing industry

is a shameful one.

And the gap between the two notions of "fashion"

as a means to freely express oneself,

and "fashion" as a system of oppression...

...for those who work to produce it...

is a huge one.

In a world saturated with images,

the images of fashion need to be very attractive.

The idea of glamour is linked to fashion.

And the images produced by photographers...

...and models

that serve to define the rules that must be followed on a daily basis.

What's the dress style of silence?

Black, not very showy...

Simple cut.

I think these are the elements.

You described how a priest should be dressed.

Why does imperfection upset people?

In my view, because the idea of perfection

is also associated with an idea of power.

The person who's perfect is liked by others

and therefore has a certain power.

Imperfection instead generates insecurity.

I think that's a good answer.

The obsession with beauty...

what's that?

The way many women are fixated with how they look.

And how are they supposed to look?

For example, they want to always appear as pretty and young.

Why do they want to always appear young?

What does "old age" mean?

Death.

Youth? Life.

Is your sister 12?

Is she a punk?

I was shattered...

She won't pay that much for university...

Thank you.

We should go.

But I have to wait for...

I'm coming!

OK, now I can catch my breath.

- Hi, Ben. - Hi, Mom.

Put that thing down.

Put it down!

- What do I have to say, Ben? - You don't have to say anything.

Can you tell me how it went with the doctor?

Fine. He confirmed what I had.

- And what now? - I need to have two operations.

The dentist will remove the metal part,

then surgery to clean the infected part in hospital.

- At least we know for sure. - Yes, exactly.

And did the doctor inspire confidence in you?

I don't know what you mean.

Whatever doctor I go to, I trust what they tell me.

I'm not suspicious like you lot.

Idiots!

Well, good!

I'm going to have a coffee.

Anything to get rid of that camera!

Bloody camera!

Damn it...

No!

You go!

Get the fuck out!

Benny!

I love you...

How sweet of you to come...

I'm so glad to see your beautiful face, Benny!

I am so happy!

With that smile of yours I know so well and love...

Lauren! You remember when you came and once I said,

"But why are you modelling?"

And you said: "To pay for the studies of my boyfriend"

- No, it wasn't quite like that. - To pay for the studies?

No, it was for us to travel.

I mean... and that's why I picked him

I picked him out of 29 guys in a 15-minute tea dates with...

Because he knew the most,

and he wanted to do the same things I did.

And he knew more about snakes than me,

he knew more about bugs...

Certainly knew more about Pound and Eliot

and all the writers I loved.

Really? So modelling was to pay for trips?

Of course!

And then? What happened,

are you still modelling...?

Still, because it's like falling in a ruby mine!

So I kept doing it as long as I could do it.

- It's better than movies! - Can I offer you a cigarette?

No, no, I have my own, thank you.

- I only do my own. - Oh, Lauren...

What, baby?

I'm so...

It's so sweet of you...

Just to tape a little bit more

of this incredible encounter, 50 years after!

OK, you can do this a little bit more.

But we do not want to have to work the whole time we're...

No...

But this is a documentary, you're not supposed to work!

It doesn't fucking matter, it's...

- This is our friendship. - Yes.

Then, the documentary will be fine. Here...

- Are you still... What's that, water?- Yeah

- I just bought it for $14. - Oh, my God...!

14 US dollars!

That's a lot, eh?

At a regular pharmacy, it wasn't a drug dealer selling me water!

You got to. We can't. It's not right

Enough!

OK, but this is so beautiful!

Benny, we're here for ourselves, to each other.

Go, Big Ben. Go...

OK. I'll come back for the other scene.

But don't say interesting things.

Just talk about the weather.

We won't say anything. We won't say a word.

- We'll talk about the weather. - Come on, just be...

- Out! Really. I'm sorry. - But you're talking about...

- It's not fair! - OK, fine.

Sometimes when I really wanted something sweet,

I would put a little in my palm and suck it after dinner,

but by myself, somewhere alone.

You and I together! Bye, Benny!

Long time, kiddo!

It's an advert for plastic flip-flops.

She's depicted as Mother Nature, naked, inside a tree.

But she's wearing plastic flip-flops.

And it's competition for this one.

One with boots, the other with flip-flops.

This image is a terrific symbol

of an idea of women that someone would like to sustain in our minds.

"Woman" equals "Nature".

This is why we often see women lying in dry leaves,

or they're photographed up a tree or among flowers...

Woman stands for Nature, Man for Reason and Thought.

This is a wonderful Virgin Mary by Antonello da Messina in Palermo,

and it's the only Virgin Mary who's reading a book.

And who isn't holding a baby.

And who seems to be studying.

The image of a woman with a child

is the highest symbol

of tenderness and love.

Remember that even if you're a businesswoman,

this is your role in life...

...your most important role...

Well... I mean...

It's not bad.

It's really weird.

Yeah.

You have a shit and...

Oh, look here...

"Douche"... Goodness!

Don't you feel like a nice warm bath?

No! I'm scared of luxury.

- What about washing your hair? - No! It's really clean.

- When did you last wash it? - When I went to the hairdresser.

- When? - A week ago!

- When did you last take a shower? - When we were in...

Two weeks ago.

Shame, shame, shame on London Fashion week!

Shame, shame...

These people are paying for animal to die in the worst way.

David Koma: shut him down!

How are you doing?

It's such a beautiful day, I'm so excited about it!

Wow, I love the casting! It's fierce!

- Maybe you have to do your hair. - My hair, yes.

Hey, sorry...

Yes?

Maybe I have to do my hair now.

I know. You'll do a rehearsal first.

We've done the rehearsal.

No, there's a full rehearsal with all the models.

If you want a seat, there's a place for you next door.

No, no.

Are you happy here? OK.

So, what number are you?

- Me? - Yes.

15, I think.

No, look, 24.

No, look, 9, 10...

Ah, 15! You're right...

What about you?

Me, 5.

But that's not you?

- Yes. I did it yesterday. - No, come on!

With no makeup and terrible lighting!

This is me, Ben.

Come on, you look fine. Me, look...!

Well, you're really...

How do you two know each other?

It's because of the low angle.

It's been many years

that we've worked together.

Maybe we did some catwalks,

some photos, something like that.

Oh, yes, we did a shoot with Peter Lindbergh

for Donna Karan.

My daughter was a couple of weeks old.

Oh, yes! Donna Karan!

And you were telling me I mustn't stop breastfeeding and so on...

- So that was 18 years ago... - Yes.

I haven't seen you for 18 years, eh...

Could you look at the light and then back to me with eyes?

Oh nice, thank you

Model as old as me!

Hey...

Just a portrait, like this... Beautiful!

- Great, thank you - You're welcome

Mom...

Go fuck yourself.

I'm not going to talk to you ever again.

What, Mom, why...?

Go away! Away! Let me be!

Asshole!

- I only did some shots while you were asleep. - Enough!

Obsessive!

I wasn't asleep.

Hello, everybody.

Since nobody ever films me,

I wanted to film myself.

Thank you!

She's gone mad...

I'm cold!

What are you doing?

I'm filming you...

But why are you filming me?

- I like it. - I don't want to be filmed.

I like you...

Why do you have to do everything you like?

You know that I don't want to appear.

I want to disappear, not to appear!

- Do you know that? - No!

What does it mean?

I want to disappear, not to appear!

Who's there? There's mamma!

I don't like "appearances".

I don't like those who appear...

Look at me...

Ben, enough!

Please, look at me a moment longer.

At you or the lens?

The lens.

But then I'm not looking at you.

If I look at you, it's like this.

Just try to look in the lens.

Like this.

If I look at you, it's like this.

Like this.

But I didn't see your look in the lens.

But the lens isn't you.

The lens is the enemy.

Enough!

OK, maybe you should go a little bit...

- This way? - Yeah! It's OK.

Just a bit more...

Four and a third...

And then... look at the light,

and then look at the camera.

And lean more.

Yes... and look up at the camera.

And be a little bit more profile with your face...

- Like that? - Like that, yeah.

Chin up a bit...

And smile...

Lean a bit more with your chest.

Just a bit more, yes... Like that, perfect!

Turn your face this way a little bit more...

And keep your gaze still...

Just like that, perfect.

OK, do a last turn, with your hands up...

And another one, and then look into the camera.

And cut!

So, I would really like today, thanks to your help,

to kind of give voice to my mum again, as a young woman.

My interest wasn't to get a copy of her...

Because one of the things that I learnt from her

is that there is nobody that could be like somebody else.

Like... You are you, and that's the one thing that you have.

So I was interested in capturing different kind of women...

I know it'll be really hard to do...

But today, with your help, I would like to...

to recreate some images of my mother, some "versions" of her life...

To do that, I've collected some of the things she wrote.

Let's start at the beginning...

Let's read the first page.

Then you can turn the page and read to the end...

to the end of this paragraph...

...of this paragraph...

Will I start?

Yes! Whenever you want...

I'm only 15, but my life is very complex.

Retracing it all from the beginning seems long and boring...

But I have to start somewhere...

My sister and I don't have a father,

he lives in another city with a new family.

We have a mother...

But her mind has been consumed by wealth.

She can no longer feel any emotions.

Yesterday she bought me a cake.

She was staring at me, waiting for me to taste it,

but I refused.

Refusing to eat was one of the only things women could do

to go against the will of their families.

It's a political protest.

I feel a sense of calm and tranquillity

in the idea that my body is vanishing.

That there is no body.

The thinner I get, the less I feel.

This is so restful.

March 1965.

Everything started by chance on a street in Italy.

Someone asked me to pose for a photo.

Three weeks later, Diana Vreeland called me for a shoot.

It was the first time that somebody wanted me, specifically me,

and it made me feel good...

Three weeks later,

I was the first Italian model on the cover of Vogue America.

I was supposed to have stayed for ten days,

but instead I've been here three years already.

I'm working with some of the best photographers.

They treat me like the vestal of a ceremony.

I get thrown into parties and galas.

I look indifferent to the troubles of the world.

And look: I transform according to other people's wish

People just vanish inside the concept of beauty.

One day the phone will stop ringing.

That's the day when you realise how powerless you are.

From that moment on, on your CV you can only write

"ex-top model".

What does it mean to become a mother in 1972?

What does it mean to me?

The main problem is that the value of motherhood won't exist

until women gain an awareness

that they need to organize

to have their rights respected.

Their right to be mothers,

their right to play an active part in society.

The feminist movement is becoming to me

a very strong base for reflecting on my experience too.

And it is a world based on a male philosophy.

Because it's a world that conceives a male God.

Whatever I do, people still view me as the "ex-model".

What's the meaning of this use of beauty?

What's the point of continuing to sell our bodies

without any quality or talent?

We are the priestess of the temple of commerce

and we want to go on forever like this?

Did you get depressed?

No, to be honest...

We are just images, we soon vanish... that's the thing!

- Are you OK with that? - Yes, I am!

The real power is the one that women exercise over men.

It's not about overthrowing patriarchy in favor of matriarchy.

We should find a way of coexisting and ending the war between the sexes.

And you don't have this view of this topic...

But do you realize what would happen to Italy, to mankind,

if someone like you were to become a minister or the prime minister?

Do you realize the terrible consequences

that a concentration of power in your hands would have on us, men?

There's no way out.

Could one of you guys grab a polyboard as well?

Yeah, exactly, this walking is really nice.

Really nice, beautiful.

Loving those fingers! Pointing!

Bull!

Bull! Beautiful!

Shall we do a few without the necklace?

Yeah, maybe just do that one and then move that.

Give me your love Don't ask me anything

Tell me that you need me

You will always be mine Even when I go away

You are the only woman for me

When the morning sun awakes us...

You don't wanna let me go

Time flows quickly When you and I are together...

- Mom... - What?

What bothers you so much about images...

about photography and the act of filming?

The fact that it's a lie.

It freezes something within a limited boundary.

I don't like frozen things.

I don't know if you've noticed,

but there are a hundred million photos of sunsets.

Frankly, they're all the same.

But they weren't the same when you saw them.

It's just you could do nothing except...

take that stupid photo of the sun setting.

Do you have another question?

Are you still thinking about disappearing?

Yes, all the time.

I mean... leaving!

It's different! "Disappearing", it's romantic...

I want to go away!

I want to go away.

Wouldn't it be more fun to demonstrate that being old is...

I don't have to demonstrate anything to anybody!

I don't have to demonstrate anything!

To me...

The work we are doing is a work...

of separation.

Of separation.

You were saying before there are moments in life...

For example when I had to work to pay the bills, bring up the children

and put food on the table,

I didn't ask myself the things I ask now.

I don't work for this kind of shit world.

I worked because I had to provide.

This has to do with a specific phase of your life,

the central phase of your life...

...when your material needs dictate the way you have to live.

You have two choices, either you leave and go to Papuasia

and survive on worms that you dig out of the ground...

or else you stay here and you need to find the money to live.

Now I'm in a different phase.

I'm in a phase when I have the right to say to myself

that I won't ever again work for...

...for ambiguity.

Not even "shit", but ambiguity...

And I don't have a house to look after or kids to support...

Therefore today I can afford the luxury of saying no!

Ben...

Can I speak?

Nobody has ever seen all this stuff.

This is my hidden place, my secret shame...

You know?

But... it's sort of useless stuff...

- You say that... - It's just tons of empty bags...

But it's a shame to throw away things in good condition.

And besides...

When I'm gone...

they'll be useful for packing all my stuff.

You could use them for your move.

You could use them for your move.

I don't have to "move" because I'm going from here to nowhere!

You will have to make the move, I'm facilitating your task.

Mom, wait a second.

What?

Yesterday were you dressed like today?

No.

What am I going to do in the edit, if you...?

Why would you care? One day like this, the other like that.

But I don't know if it'll be used as another day.

Well, I decide... you decide.

I could also have changed during the day!

What kind of fucking problem is that?

Then maybe later we'll do a scene where you change your T-shirt.

No, Ben!

You can't be so pedantic!

You know, it's just to cover my ass, in case I...

OK, let's make the coffee in the meantime.

It's fine, don't worry.

I'm changing my T-shirt, you pain in the ass!

You petty bourgeois!

Do you know why I like this blue so much?

Because it looks like the bottom of the sea

with some brighter patches...

...doesn't it?

Do you like it?

Is it pretty?

But can you go on a bike?

Of course.

My brain is full of dust.

Fine, then, let's go.

What are we celebrating tonight?

The end of the hard work

and the beginning of the intellectual one.

The work of thought.

- Mom. - Yes?

What?

What is it?

How long do you think until you'll be gone?

I don't know, I have to close the house in Livorno.

And it'll be difficult during the academic year.

Do you mind?

Eh?

Well, no, or actually, yes, but...

I think I've understood that it's something you want.

And it's right that people get what they want.

- Isn't it? - Well...

How many people manage to get what they want?

It's a luxury.

But you... are you happy with your project?

I work in stages.

I still haven't closed the stage...

...of my life here.

So, for now I'm working to...

to bring my life here to a conclusion.

And when this is more or less clear,

then I'll look for a path, a way out...

To get as far as possible from this...

...from this white man who has devastated the world. I...

I'm very sad to belong to this race...

Very!

I don't know, Ben...

Perhaps I just want to die.

It's easier.

Shall we go out?

- Is this OK? - Yes, it's OK.

Now we'll try to do one where...

...I twist around you.

...Like this, and you turn.

But my head's spinning!

OK, you stand still and I'll turn around you.

Are you done with playing?

That's it, do that for a bit!

With your skirt...

Someday, my pain ♪

Someday, my pain will mark you ♪

Harness your blame ♪

Strike some poses like a model in the '60s...

The one I like!

Harness your blame and walk through ♪

With the wild wolves around you ♪

In the morning, I'll call you ♪

Send it farther on ♪

And the story's all over you ♪

In the morning I'll call you ♪

Can't you find a clue ♪

Someday, my pain ♪

Someday, my pain ♪♪

What's that for, mom?

I don't know.

Nothing.

She told me about a bookcase made of tubes...

We should also take that wardrobe, that drawer and the little bike.

...And upstairs

there are other boxes...

We'll start from here... We need to clear the entrance first...

OK, we've already loaded one of the wardrobes.

I don't think you'll need to throw them in the bin after!

Anyway, these go to the deposit, right? Where else could you put them?

- What stage are we at? - A terrible one!

At a terrible stage!

But at least we've started!

To break my life apart, yes, we've started!

Scientific discoveries, technological evolution,

once fostered a positive ideal of progress.

Changes, however, have to be managed

to avoid inequalities and new kinds of marginalization.

To conclude, I would like to greet those who tonight aren't celebrating,

because they're busy working for the benefit of everybody else...

Fuck off!

...On the roads, in hospitals, in the cities...

to ensure safety, assistance, information...

relief from pain...

To them I send my very best wishes.

Best wishes, everybody, and happy new year!

Shut the fuck up!

Shitty anthem!

Look up, look up! Up there, look!

- OK. - OK.

What I wanted to say is that I would really like to discuss with you...

seriously, a way to stage the departure...

So that you can, I hope, do this scene...

Not as...

yet another act of violence,

but with a degree of pleasure.

Like a way to put into a scene...

But, Ben, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be brutal,

but how can you even say,

"I would like this scene not to be yet another act of violence."

How can you say a phrase like that?

When all this work is based

only on your desire to do it and not on my desire to see it done?

Including the ending!

I don't know how you can forget every time...

that I have nothing to do with images,

and you have everything to do with images,

and this will be an unsolvable problem right up to the end as well.

The only scene I would've liked to do was breaking your camera.

But I don't want that either,

because there's no point in breaking a camera.

You can always get another one and continue...

But I would really like to end with black.

That would be the only thing that would make me feel like...

...like I've made...

...I've made my point... which is never taken into account.

I also need to find a way to live without medicines...

Because...

I recently had an infection which forced me to take a lot of medicines.

And this made me think about all the medicines

that I should be taking day by day...

I started halving the doses...

to understand if, little by little, I'll be all right without them.

One is for high blood pressure, the other one is for breathing.

And calcium...

OK, let's say that you pack up your things...

...and you go on foot.

Yes.

You shouldn't use transport,

any form of transport.

But if you wanted to reach the coast first,

you have to take a car, right?

It's funny that you think that someone

would go to the sea with a car

to then disappear.

It's not a suicide.

It's another life.

It's another life.

It shouldn't look anything like a suicide.

The abandoned car, beside the sea...

And her who's disappeared.

But I won't bring an apple and a tin of peas...

Because they would be finished.

Besides, I won't speak the language.

Because I am going to worlds

where Italian, English, French... aren't spoken.

Talking with your eyes...

if you had eyes!

Maybe I won't see anymore.

You know...

...many times people think about things,

but then don't have the courage to do them.

I want to have the courage to do it.

As the only gift I can offer myself.

Because I spent my life doing what I was supposed to do.

Just like everybody else, after all.

Being worried...

about paying the bills,

about the wellbeing of the children...

Hearing constantly that whatever I cooked was shit.

I would put my soul into trying to make something good.

But then...

Nobody likes it.

So it's a life of constrictions...

A life...

the life of an animal tamed to do what...

you're expected to and should be doing.

I wanted to give myself an ending.

Because ultimately I'm going towards death.

There's no doubt about it.

But I would be going there even if I'd stayed here,

so I'd like to give myself

the opposite of what I've known so far.

Yes, I mean perhaps it isn't necessary to have an ending...

...with a boat sailing towards the horizon.

I mean, that goes...

There could also be another one

with a person walking with her backpack in the woods.

And just keeps walking.

I hate memory.

I don't want it.

I don't understand it.

We don't need memory to go forward.

I understand that cinema wants images.

And images are what I disdain.

But if we didn't have memory,

there wouldn't be poems like Homer's Iliad and Odyssey.

What a wondrous naivety I have brought to life.

Come on, Ben, enough.

So we've decided

that you decide the ending,

that you bring the strength of the images.

But also that you won't be a pissed-off victim,

that we will try to cooperate.

I will try to obey.

No, Mom, I don't want you to obey.

I would rather you managed to collaborate.

Ben...

I'll do my best.

Let's put it this way, OK?

OK.

But I look forward to this being over.

With darkness...

And the camera switched off.

So that I can find Ben again.

My Ben.

Not that of...

...of his images.

You should put the cap on the lens.

Actually I don't have it with me... Oh, here it is.

Would you like to place the cap on the lens?

As if...

Ben, can I kill your image?

Can I?

Yes.

But not with hatred...

simply to defend myself.

Yes.

OK, bye.

Bye.

- OK, Ben. - Let's go.

Now there is darkness.

Good, let's go.

I get that leaving feeling ♪

This time it's here to stay ♪

I've been weighing up the pulling ♪

And pushing me away ♪

The past is so heavy ♪

But it's something that I can't leave ♪

And this future's so certain ♪

It just pushes me to my knees ♪

Is that your heart talking ♪

Or just that we fight over mine ♪

The people that you love ♪

They change when you leave them behind ♪

But this rope that is pulling ♪

Is whittled down to a thread ♪

And if I don't start climbing ♪

Pretty soon it'll be over my head ♪

We all have dreams of leaving ♪

We all wanna make a new start ♪

Go and pack a little suitcase ♪

With the pieces of our hearts ♪

All those worries and those sorrows ♪

We can just dust them away ♪

Buy a coffee and a paper ♪

And go step on to a train ♪

But I've been too long wandering ♪

Limping around this town ♪

With everything that's pulling me ♪

It's pulling me further down ♪

Go make all your excuses ♪

Go say all your goodbyes ♪

But take a look in the mirror ♪

It's the hardest one you'll ever find ♪

All those worries and those sorrows ♪

You can just dust them away ♪

Go and find a new tomorrow ♪

And forget about your yesterdays ♪♪

This could be a bit depressing.

Why?

Depression doesn't exist. It's yet another invention of the bourgeoisie.

"Oh I'm so depressed,

because I'm alone on an island in front of the sea, without you!"

Fuck off!

This first one is in Spanish.

Oh no, I've fallen down...

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