Original subtitles

Timing and Subtitles brought to you by The Mutant Team @ Viki

♫ That happiness poems write of ♫

♫ speak of the corners of the heavens and seas I want to visit ♫

♫ It’s all true, it’s the answer to your question ♫

♫ Look at the sprouting cherry blossoms outside the window ♫

♫ I’m never letting go of this hand I’m holding ♫

♫ Never fearing again because the person I love is you ♫

♫ I understand that you and I used to be too different ♫

♫ That’s what’s good about you ♫

♫ Even when you occasionally get a bit angry ♫

♫ you’re still so cute that I cannot resent you ♫

♫ But I’m just like this and carefree ♫

♫ letting you occupy more territory step by step ♫

♫ In all the fairy tales with beautiful endings ♫

♫ the place where you are is the corner of the heavens and seas ♫

♫ Never fearing again because the person I love is you ♫

My Amazing Boyfriend

- Episode 6 -

Quick! Come, come, come!

Come, let's play again!

No. Last time, the circumstances were special. Only once.

Please, please... Just one last time.

Really just one last time.

Just for a little while. We will definitely not be discovered.

You said it's the last time.

I want to go there!

Let's go, Pokemon!

[Watch me]

Feng Dong Dong, two paths lie in front of you right now.

The first path is to shut your mouth like a clam-shell, so tightly that you cannot ever pry it open.

The second is to put you and your secret into a barrel of gasoline, fill it with cement,

and then let it sink onto the ocean floor forever.

Dong Dong.

Assistant Feng? Feng Dong Dong!

Just now... that...

What you saw was real.

You still want more trouble!

I already said that someone would find out, but you insisted on playing. You only have yourself to blame.

Then before you set off, shouldn't you have checked if the landing site had any obstacles?

I said that wasn't flying.

Of course, I know that this isn't flying. Even fleas can jump higher than you.

Then, I'm very sorry. If I jump with your I.Q. next time, then I'm sure I'll jump higher than a flea.

Are you calling me stupid?

This... this dead monster dares call me stupid!

I'm only stating an objective fact.

You're the monster who had your blood drained out and got locked up in a coffin for a hundred years and

when you woke up, you didn't even know who your enemy was!

Yet, the super idiot monster says that I'm the one with no IQ?

Ha, ha, ha! From now on, I can live off that joke.

Oh, that's right. There's an unlucky person,

who after having a car accident revived a corpse. You really are a complete joke.

You—!

So cool!

Brother!

[I already knew about the corpse coming to life. Don't act rashly. That monster is not someone you can catch. I know the way to handle him.]

Is it possible to meet with you?

"Sound the red alert. The real monster shows up at the real midnight filming."

What is this?

This is bad. Brother Qiao has been filmed.

Isn't he amazing?

How can this happen?

Look, look at this!

Look at this!

Look, that's so coo!

The website editor said if this reaches fifty million views,

he'll make an HD version showing his face.

Miss Tian, can't you stop walking around?

I'm almost worried to death!

If he shows the face, the entire world will know that I have a monster in my house.

Hey, I say, did you get too much energy from drinking too much milk and go race with the cats or something?

Fifty million views is difficult to reach, right?

Yes, usually a two million click rate is already extremely popular.

When I saw it this morning, there were only a few hundred clicks.

The clicks have already reached three million.

What is there to worry about? There's no law against keeping a five-hundred year old in your house.

I can't even communicate with you anymore!

Aren't you a hacker? Can't you attack their server?

I can hack a computer system, but I can't hack into original documents.

Also, that is a crime. What if I'm caught?

Then you wouldn't have an assistant!

Step aside! I can always find another assistant.

Since no one knows you're here yet, for a nobleman to take revenge ten years is not too long. Go quickly!

Can't. There's a re-run of "The Tyrant CEO is in Love with Me" this afternoon.

[Incorrigibly obstinate monster!]

What are you watching that is so entertaining?

A photography lover's little game of deceiving people.

Teacher, next semester's research funds have already been received. I didn't think it was going to be that smooth!

I thought that the loss of the corpse disappearing was so big that our sponsor had lost faith in us.

Oh, right, Professor. Who is our sponsor?

It's been years and yet they haven't been seen. They really know how to stay low.

He's probably a fanatic lover of medicine. I don't really know.

Professor, are you sick?

Don't worry, it's just a cold.

You must have worked the whole night again.

When Annie comes back from America in the summer,

seeing you still working all throughout the night, she will leave immediately.

Sorry, Professor.

I didn't mean to offend you.

It's okay.

You're right. That's why, my wife and Annie left me.

But this time it will work.

Ye Chen, you are my most talented student.

If we work together, maybe we can even change the fate of the entire human species.

Alright, Professor, but you should still get some better rest.

You don't believe me?

You think that I'm dreaming, too?

It's not that I don't believe you. It's just that if you keep treating your body like this,

there will be no chance of completing the repair enzyme goal before you collapse,

unless a miracle happens.

Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!

What are you doing! Do you know how expensive this jacket is?

Even if I sell you, you couldn't pay me back, you know?

Sorry!

- Seriously. - Sorry.

She's my woman.

It's a new day!

Let the Wang Family Corporation go bankrupt.

["Sound the red alert! A real monster appears at the midnight filming."]

Are you not nervous at all?

I'm nervous.

The male protagonist's fiancée wants to murder Miss Zhang Xuan Xuan.

Do whatever you want!

Let me tell you, this idol drama has no logic whatsoever.

That necklace on Zhang Xuan Xuan's neck is from her grandma.

It's worth enough to buy ten restaurants.

She can put Empire Corp. into bankruptcy herself.

That male protagonist is useless.

Also, why do all the male leads fall in love with the female leads?

What about us supporting actresses?

What kind of logic is this?

And you, you don't even have the right to appear in the script.

No memory and no friends.

You wouldn't even be able to get into the mood.

You can only talk to animals.

I'm done talking.

The door bell has been ringing for a while.

Can the supporting actress open the door?

Miss Tian, hurry and get ready.

We have to go offsite and do makeup, too.

Brother!

Brother, last time you said you wanted to drink fresh lychee juice.

Dong Dong brought it especially for you.

I'm afraid that I may never see you again after today.

Please, don't forget Dong Dong!

Okay?

Hello, hello.

What's your name?

My last name is Zhang. I manage a small detective firm.

I was commissioned by someone to come and discuss some business with you.

Which advertising firm?

My commissioner wants thirty-sex seconds of a high-resolution video.

People in this field are crazy these days.

How do you come up with this stuff?

Detective Zhang, how much can your client pay?

Tell him in two days, the click-rate will be over 50 million for sure.

I offered him fifty million RMB for an exclusive buy-out fee.

Tell him to send the HD video.

[When are you releasing it?]

Just tell him that it's not his business when we release it.

[Since you say that, I'll just sell it to someone else.]

What he wants is money either way,

and Detective Zhang said the price can be negotiated.

So we should just tell him we won't be releasing it.

Go ahead.

[In that case, I will contact the buyer directly.]

He's really greedy, that bastard!

Xuan Xuan, Tian Jing Zhi, come here.

Go this way.

Tell the filming director to go up.

From here.

- Director. - Let me tell you a bit about the scene.

Xuan Xuan, come.

We're filming this scene from the second floor rooftop.

You have to push Xuan Xuan off later.

And then, the male lead appears and saves her.

Then you have to push Xiao Zhi off.

Do you understand?

- But, but, Xiao Zhi— - It's alright.

Go on, Director.

You have to do a perfect rotation in the air, and then fall into the box!

This scene is very important.

Prep yourself.

Quit pretending to be so tough.

Even the main female lead isn't using a stunt-double.

Would it be proper for me to use a stunt-double?

You don't understand. I love jumping off buildings.

Such a strange hobby!

Xuan Xuan, Xiao Zhi, you're up.

Stand straight!

Ready!

Go!

One!

Two!

You— What do you want to do?

You— You dare to go after my man! Then you need to prepare for your death!

Two!

Three!

One!

Two!

Cut!

Tian Jing Zhi! You're the one who's forcing Zhang Xuan Xuan to jump off the building!

So, stop acting like you're about to jump off and kill yourself, alright!?

I'm sorry, Director! Again, please! Sorry!

I should feel sorry for you!

I've troubled you!

Are you alright?

Director, don't get angry.

- Again!- Who do you think you are?

You dare to force her?

Don't you know that she's my woman?!

No!

I will kill you!

No!

No, don't!

Stop!

Stop!

No!

No!

Let me go!

No!

Don't!

Don't!

Tell me why he wants to kill you.

Are these people all on his side?

What?

Kill—Kill what?

Kill my butt!

I'm filming right now!

Idol drama! Didn't you watch it at home this morning?

Are you alright?

Are you hurt?

Stop the filming! Stop the filming!

Director, shouldn't you say cut right now?

Cut!

You've ruined me.

What's happening!?

From now on, don't say anything.

Whatever I say, you have to nod, do you understand?

Nod!

Explain.

We met at the hospital.

When I was at the hospital and going through difficulties, it was Da Qiao who was with me.

Da Qiao heard the main actor and I had a scene, so he was jealous.

So he came to the filming and had a misunderstanding.

He's actually very gentle, right?

Is your boyfriend in martial arts?

Yes, he's a Taekwondo instructor and he likes Parkour.

What do you think? Pretty good skills, right?

When I was at the hospital, that's how he came to my hospital room to give me flowers

and that's how I fell for him.

Don't you have to call the police in that kind of situation?

Don't talk nonsense!

It's the power of love.

Doesn't Mr. Xue want to explain something?

Even if it's just jealousy, is there a need to come assault someone on location?

She's just been rejected for marriage. Now if there's also gossip,

then the good-girl image that she's worked so hard to harvest will be ruined by you in one stroke.

Do you know that?

You've got nothing to say? Or do you feel that I don't have the right to interfere with other people's relationships?

Thank God, the male lead is okay.

The director also helped him say a few words.

That's how his manager let this go.

Tian Jing Zhi, no matter where you got your boyfriend from,

please take care of him.

Timing and Subtitles brought to you by The Mutant Team @ Viki

Can I talk now?

Talk.

Miss Zhang Xuan Xuan... looks even prettier in person.

Boss, I've already had contact with the man online for the task you've given me.

But, Boss, are you sure that it's him just by a blurry video?

An old fatal friend...

How could I misidentify him?

No matter what the price is, don't let him be shown to the public.

Don't let anyone know of his existence.

Okay, Boss. Is there anything else you want me to do?

Professor Li wants to meet me once. You arrange it.

I originally thought that you were here to help me solve my problems.

I never thought you would be my problem.

The click-rate keeps going up hundreds of thousands a day.

Soon, you'll be wanted by all human kind.

We should be optimistic.

Your search volume will be temporarily higher than that of my Goddess Xuan.

Hey, are you not worried at all?

Worried about what?

It's true that you have nothing to be worried about.

At most, you'll go back to the deep forest and keep being a monster.

As for me? Before, I would be charged with hiding a monster.

But now?

I'll have to live my entire life with the baggage of having dated a monster.

Maybe, I will even become humanity's public enemy.

Don't worry. I'll take you to the deep forest with me.

I already have no way of communicating with you.

Can you not cause any more problems for me?

Alright.

Director...

I'm bringing my boyfriend here to say sorry to you.

It's okay. I didn't know that you had such a fear of heights.

In the future, if there is a situation like that, just ask for a stunt double.

Director... you're too kind!

It's all good as long as I don't get possessed by evil spirits while acting.

What?

Oh!

Xiao Zhi, I have something to discuss with you.

Um...

Xiao Zhi, what does your boyfriend do?

He's a Taekwondo teacher, and occasionally he does some Parkour.

No wonder he was so good.

So, in our film, there's this extraordinary, big boss character.

I think that your boyfriend is very suitable. Don't worry, it's just for three days.

What? Do you want him to act?

Hey, brother.

Can I take this?

It's not suitable.

We can negotiate the paycheck.

[$ $ $]

Director, let's talk about the role.

How did you get into the Criminal Investigation Division?

Obviously, it's because I'm first place in everything I do.

Are you upset about something?

After the international arms smuggling ring is taken down,

starting from next month, you should take a vacation.

Sir, I don't need to take a break.

I haven't finished the stolen dormant body case, and the division is already lacking in manpower—

We'll leave it like that.

Sir! I don't need to take a vacation!

Congratulations, Xiao Yan!

We all heard that you were awarded for taking down the international arms smuggling ring.

- Yes.- Xiao Yan, did you not tell us because you didn't want to treat us?

Stop pretending. Which month did you not rip him off with?

I just heard it from the captain last night, too.

How about this? Tonight, I'll take everyone out for dinner. What do you all want to eat?

Okay, how about going to that famous steak house?

The steak at that place is Kobe beef that was flown in.

I haven't even tried it, okay?

Okay.

Awesome! Xiao Yan is taking us out to eat!

Hello, Sister Xuan Xuan.

- You're done? - Yes, I'm done.

Xiao Zhi's boyfriend is really handsome.

When I was waiting on set, I heard the director say that he wants the boyfriend to act as the big boss next week.

I have something to do, Sister Xuan Xuan. I'm leaving now, bye.

Hello, Xiao Yan? I'm really worried about Tian Jing Zhi's mental health.

Was your marriage rejection last time too much for her?

Even though she has no marriage line on her palm,

I'm very clear about your deep feelings towards her. Right now, she's acting very illogically.

- What happened to her?- She got herself a jealous boyfriend

who has violent tendencies, and now he's even part of the cast.

Hello? Are you listening to me?

We already broke up. It doesn't matter to me who she's with.

Hey—!

Why are you putting on that kind of face?

Had I known earlier, I would have brought you to the set.

Nowadays, word of mouth is even faster than the news reporters.

I've always wanted to come and see you filming, but I just felt like it'd be a burden to you.

You are deemed as the global super philanthropist. Who'd find you a burden?

Are you okay?

You can't even hang a person properly? Did you eat breakfast this morning?

I'm sorry, Director!

Again!

You must be in shock. It looks like they're rehearsing.

Are you alright?

I'm fine. Just low blood sugar.

But... your props and set up... are too frightening.

Timing and Subtitles brought to you by The Mutant Team @ Viki

Cheers.

Did you watch the "The Tyrant CEO Falls in Love with Me" episode last night?

Oh my god, what is with the plot line?

The male main character holds the female main character and says with deep feeling,

"You are my woman."

That's so old-fashioned!

I know, right?

Except for Zhang Xuan Xuan's three second crying scene,

the whole drama is so cliched. It's absolutely terrible, terrible!

Did you not see the magazine survey results from last month?

Of the females who like to watch idol dramas, there's a 90% chance

that they will become leftover goods, even expired.

So, to all you naive girls, even ordinary good men like us

have strong arms. Wake up a bit, won't you?

If you were the last left man on Earth, I'd rather die.

I'd rather die plus one!

I didn't hear correctly, right? Say it one more time.

Yeah, you're pretty ugly.

Next time, when we go to Japan, we must first go to Akihabara to buy the "Going Merry" figurine.

What? The boat?

What do you mean 'the boat'?! It's not just a boat!

Never mind. You wouldn't understand anyway.

Why are you still reading this?

Didn't you solve that weapon smuggling case already?

But I still have to report it.

Hey! Why are they making you write the report? Are you a secretary?

Anyway, are policemen stationary items? They can't just borrow you and use you like that!

In underground Hong Kong Gangster movies, as soon as the police say

"Please, Big Boss, Hong Kong is a constitutional society,"

then a whole load of gangsters come and slaughter the police.

Miss Tian, thank you. Hong Kong is really a growing society.

Alright, stop being mad. This time, I did a really good deed. When they pay me,

we're definitely going to find a good place to eat and celebrate!

Don't want to. Do you want me to get fat?

- Oh, please, Xiao Zhi, say yes. - You're so girly!

Are you a golden retriever pretending to be a hound?

Are you hitting me? I'm the police!

So what if you're the police? So what?

Alright, stop being mad. Hurry, tell me some good movies.

I really don't know. I haven't watched any in a while.

Hey, I know a really good one.

What?

It's called "Twelve laborers."

- Have you seen it?- No.

It just came out. All the actors were amazing.

It was really good.

Who acted in it?

Miss Tian. First: If it weren't for the opportunity to act alongside Miss Zhang Xuan Xuan,

I never would have agreed to act. You recommended it. Now, you say I'm overdoing it. Is that really necessary?

Second: I really admire Miss Xuan Xuan's acting skills.

Don't you think that I should respect her profession?

Third: Her fiance being scared so easily is not my fault.

Mr. Xue. First: I only suggested it. You were the one who agreed to acting.

Second: Zhang Xuan Xuan is my girlfriend who also has weird perverted desires,

so I hope that you'll spare her.

Third: The people that I admire the most are those who do goodwill.

For example, that Mr. Hong who you scared half to death. That's why, it's normal for me to worry about him.

If I've said anything to offend you, please be a tolerant person.

This lady is as difficult as a villain.

Lady. Villain.

Let me taste it.

- No. No.- Hurry to taste it. Does it taste good or not?

-Miss, how many guests?- Two.

You always order bad tasting things. You are bad looking, so you order bad tasting dishes.

Miss, here's the menu.

You look like this butter.

These public nuisances should really

be taken in by the police—!

It tastes so bad!

Geez, how unlucky am I?

You just look bad.

Miss, what would you like to order?

When Male #2 proposed marriage . . .

But still, the main actor steals the bride right before the wedding.

I pressed for stealing the bride. What about you?

Well, Male #2 and Female #2 both get sacrificed anyway.

Please. You don't even qualify to be sacrificed, alright?

Brother Xiao Yan, what do you root for?

Brother Xiao Yan would decline the marriage, of course.

Didn't he recently just reject Miss Tian?

Oh, right! That's so true, Brother You Yu.

Miss Tian plays the second-place character both in movies and in real life.

Is she really that pitiful?

Please.

I wonder who will win the lottery, and become Brother Xiao Yan's true love.

Yeah.

Sorry! Sorry!

What's happened?

Excuse me, miss.

I'm sorry.

Are you... Miss Tian Jing Zhi?

Sister Xiao Zhi?

We really do apologize!

What are you—? Let me go!

Hey!

Huh?

What are you doing? It's embarrassing!

Stop fooling around and be good.

Everyone is looking.

Hello, everyone.

Let me introduce myself. I am Tian Jing Zhi's boyfriend, Xue Ling Qiao.

I heard you took care of her well.

I'm thankful for that.

Rest assured, she's my woman now.

I will love, care, and take responsibility for her.

Please enjoy your dinner.

This really is a superficial world.

Don't be angry.

The lady neighbor calling you fat isn't holding anything against you.

Looking at yours and your sister's temper! You must be from the same mother!

Wait, wait, don't take off your shoes yet! Let's go to Mei Mei's house.(Note: Mei Mei means little sister in chinese, and is referring to Tian Jing Zhi —their daughter.)

Why are we going to Mei Mei's house? Did she get into another car accident?

What? No, don't say such nonsense!

Mei Mei chose the wrong address when shopping online.

She sent it here instead. Do you see what she bought?

You stole Xiao Zhi's package again!

No... look at what she bought. Just take a look.

You—

Hey, wait for me! I haven't put on my shoes!

Such a filthy mouth, should use poop to stop your mouth!

Yes!

Hello, Auntie?

What? Con—Condom?

The cousin is that cousin...

What?

Hello, Auntie? The signal doesn't seem to be good! I can't hear clearly!

I'm dead, I'm dead...

I should quickly contact Brother Da Qiao.

I don't have Brother Da Qiao's number!

If Miss Tian found out that I betrayed her, she'll definitely break my legs!

Never mind. Even if she breaks my leg, I'll just get it healed later.

[Feng Dong Dong]

You still have to act tomorrow.

Why do you care?!

If you're sick, you should take your medicine! Why'd you give up your treatment?

You've watched too many idol dramas, haven't you?

You jerk!

Alright, it's my fault. I won't interfere with your life.

Can you come out now?

How long do you intend to cry for?

Is it worth it to cry to death for someone who left you?

Why'd you have to throw my life into chaos?

Leave!

If you won't leave, then kill me!

Even if I die, I wouldn't be with you!

Hurry, hurry!

Wait, Lao Tian!

Remember to keep your cool.

Before entering, remember to knock on the door.

I'm going to my daughter's house, why should I have to knock? Give me the keys.

- They're in your pocket.- Oh, they're in my pocket.

Let's go.

Are you done having your tantrum?

I'm telling you, I'm done watching this.

If you fall, just get up.

Sitting down and crying, blaming the stone that tripped you

is completely useless.

I don't even think that you want to get up.

If you want to quietly leave every time you meet his friends,

and avoid any place that he goes to, that's fine.

Then you will never need to stand up again.

If you really did hate me that much, I would have left you already.

Thank you for taking care of me during this time. If you don't want to see me anymore,

then take good care of yourself, and don't get hurt.

What are you doing!

Dad! Mom! What are you doing here?

You dare take advantage of my daughter!

Wait! Stop hitting him!

Stop! Let me explain!

Dad! Mom!

Stop hitting! I'm pregnant![Pregnant!]

That's just how it is.

Then, I just got pregnant.

I wanted to abort, but he didn't let me. The rest was just as you saw.

What are you crying for?

Now that things have become like this,

do you still hope to make him leave your daughter?

- I can separate with him.- Be quiet!

- Mom...- Shut up!

How dare you call me mom!

Call me Ms. Qiu! Go to your room!

Right now! Immediately! Now!

It's already been twenty minutes.

What to do? What to do? What to do?

[Feng Dong Dong]

- What now, Dong Dong? - You've finally picked up.

I'm already in a bad situation.

There's an even worse situation right now.

Your parents already know that the man staying at your house isn't your cousin, they're headed over now.

I really wish I had received your phone call thirty minutes ago!

I've already been found out by my parents.

I was pinned down by Monster Xue on the couch. I don't know why I suddenly blurted out that I'm pregnant either.

But the problem was that my parents kept on hitting Monster Xue,

I was so scared that he would get mad and snap their necks!

They've already been talking downstairs for twenty minutes.

Are you sure Brother Da Qiao is really just talking to them,

and hasn't

broken their necks already?

Hello? Miss Tian? Why aren't you speaking anymore?

What do you see? Miss Tian!

Do you see dead bodies?

More maddening than seeing dead bodies!

Timing and Subtitles brought to you by The Mutant Team @ Viki

♫ The broken faucet in the bathroom ♫

♫ has dripped and rusted ♫

♫ The bedside looks like your figure ♫

♫ Often, ♫

♫ it’s reminded me for a long time ♫

♫ You didn’t speak ♫

♫ You didn’t say you’d go with me ♫

♫ As if later, it will be the end in the blink of an eye ♫

♫ You didn’t speak ♫

♫ You didn’t appear at the intersection ♫

♫ Let it be me this time, and I won’t casually hold and let go of your hand ♫

♫ After that day under the dim street light ♫

♫ it was said there won’t be such eternity in time ever again ♫

♫ I’m still waiting to ask in the next life ♫

♫ will you be able to let me go? Come back ♫

♫ Be with me for a lifetime ♫

♫ I’m waiting for you to speak ♫

♫ I’m waiting for you to say you’ll go with me ♫

♫ As if later, it will be the end in the blink of an eye ♫

♫ I’m waiting for you to speak ♫

♫ I’m waiting for you to appear at the intersection ♫

♫ From now on, I won’t casually speak of letting go of your hand ♫

♫ From now on, I won’t casually speak of letting go of your hand ♫